Page 10 / PULSE Friday, February 24, 2012 / The Standard

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The Celebville Residents

There are many wannabes who desire to live in celebville but cannot afford ‘rent’ in this fickle and demanding high street. But there are those who have made it second home, writes TONY MOCHAMA

This list of a h u n d r e d , minus TV p e r s o n a l i -ties, is the

complete list of the peeps currently Pulsers call ‘celebrities’. If you consider yourself a celeb-rity and are not on it, then work harder to be in Pulse (because we say who the ce-lebs are in this town, and all of the above are folks we’ve fea-tured in one form or another over the last eight weeks).

Beware though; rent in ‘Cele-bville’ is steep. And other than dangerous neighbourhood dogs called ‘Paparazzi,’ the landlady called Fame can evict you any time, bila notice.

Susan Adhiambo — The cur-rent Miss Kenya is pretty and beguiling, with that ‘X’ factor that is missing in too many beauty queens nowadays.

Eric Wainaina and Su-zanne Owiyo — Ask anyone out-side the gates of ‘Celebville’ who are its two leading citizens in there, and these are the two names most likely to crop up.

Daddy Owen —This Saul turned Paul crook saw the light and turned to the Lord, and lo and behold! He is gospel king.

Juliani — He is possibly the most talented musician in the country, going by his lyrics and his dazzling performances.

Nameless — ‘Kamonski’ is the architect of his own destiny and has ruled the roost of our local music since his Ninanoki hit exactly a decade ago. Bravo!

Churchill — This very gifted thespian and comedian will go down in our history as a Kenyan celebrity who took laughter and

satire to another level.

DJ KayTrixx — This red-haired rasta young man has shot up far and fast among Pulsers, and knows his decks and mu-sic.

Size 8: Since she appeared on the scene, this little vixen has taken us all by fire and storm. Go gal.

Kambua: This ‘spleng’ has a voice that belongs to a choir of angels, and a presence that graces the stage.

Kidum: Say what you will about Kidum, but he is not just

yesterday’s man. He is a really great band-man.

Mejja — He emerged from the humble slums of Nyeri’s Ma-jengo slums and with his comi-cal musical act, yeye kweli ni celeb wetu.

Eric Omondi — He has blos-somed to become one of the funniest gents of the Pulse gen-eration. And so much more.

Jalang’o — The loudmouth radioman is almost the proto-type of the typical Kenyan ce-lebrity.

DNG — Handsome, talented

and one very loud MCee, the dreadlocked DNG almost seemed destined for celebville from the very start.

Mshamba Zebedeyo — The Lunje of Radio Maisha has had a long and winding, and at times very funny road, to Celebville.

Ringtone — Just like an an-noying ringtone, this celeb has a way of catching the media’s at-tention, even through failed po-litical bids.

Eko Dyddah — He truly has a reason to stop, stutter, falter and smile... as one of the more unique gospel acts.

Tattuu — Angela Ndambuki, Angela Mwadanda and Debbie Asila are the original girl group, the trio of celebrities who never grow old.

Wahu — The queen of re-in-vention will always have a place in the heart of Pulsers, not just

as one half of one of Kenya’s most famous couples, but in her own right as an artiste.

Eve D’Souza — Like ‘Super-woman’, Eve D’Souza has been around for so long she is a fix-ture in our celebrity list. Just like that hairy rocker, Fareed Khi-mani of X-FM.

Joey Muthengi — The lass has the ‘look’, you know, that skin hue, the voice and the brazen behaviour that qualify for Ke-nyan ‘celeb-hood’.

STL — She has had quite the year in Norway, from being threatened by a racist terrorist to the demise of her dad after a hit and run accident. Still, STL

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shows the most potential of be-ing our first ‘world’ artiste.

MC Alemba — Because Pius C, our paparazzi, said so, having taken so many photos of this MCee.

Avril — Controversial, smart as a whip and dually talented, no list of Kenyan celebrities is complete without the name ‘Avril Nyambura’.

Just a Band — They are not just a band in the land. A while back, they waved a magic wand, and the gates to ‘Celebville’ slid open.

Cliff Ombeta — This criminal lawyer is like the ‘Perry Mason’ of Kenya.

Leakey Odera — Where there are girls galore and a cool event organiser, the man behind the faces and action will always en-joy celebrity stature.

Big Ted — Larger than life and a stage fixture, Big Ted is a given celebrity. So too is Big Kev.

Jaguar — Jewellery, a Beam-er, wads of cash and publicised acts of philanthropy, before even the hit song, and Jaguar qualifies as a top celeb.

Shaffie — The word ‘celebri-ty’ was a coat made for Shaffie Weru. Famous for being famous even before he was famous, you could cut and paste this dude next to the word ‘celeb’.

Caroline Mutoko — Can you list three local top radio queens without mentioning her?

Maina Kageni — Some folks’ names are already so laden with the loaded nine letter word ...

Mustapha — Other than his musical prowess, his fall-outs with his partners, Nasty Thomas (professional) and Marya (per-sonal) have kept the Colonel’s life an on-going soap opera, yea.

P-Unit — This triumvirate of enfants terrible have carved out a three-piece suit niche for themselves in the hood called ‘Celebville’.

BMF — Gifted group, and

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brightest lights on the celeb-rity circle.

Kate Kibugi — The lithe and supple dancer is in the Guin-ness Book of Records. That’s the stuff celebrity is made off!

Sonko — Love him or hate him (mostly, hate him), the Makadara MP does antics that draw the media to him like moths to a lamp-post (look out, he is now punching the lamp post).

Kenzo — We may never have seen his eyes, but this boy and his guitar are like the cliché of some cheap celebrity.

Ali Kiba — Down at the Coast people say Bantu is the real celeb, but up here, we all know Ali Kiba ndio mambo yote.

Mariga — More chini ya maji than Denno, Mariga is nevertheless a celeb in the sense of the word, from all the cheddar gained from playing in Inter, Real Sociedad and back to Lazio.

Rabbit — He came into ce-lebrity like the proverbial rab-bit out of a hat!

Mbusi — For as long as Gi-digidi’s Ghetto Radio is there, and hakuna mbrrrr-cchaa re-mains in the common par-lance, this goat is firmly teth-ered to the celebrity wagon.

Man Rapho — Tuju, due to his POA party, his insistence on ‘youth appeal’ and appear-ances in so many youth events is now more celebrity than a presidential candidate.

The Celebville Residents

mically’.

Lupita Nyongo — This talent-ed film-maker isn’t just a celeb because of her famous dad, but due to her real life hard work in the arts.

Anto Neo-Soul — Soulful voice to go with soulful eyes, a dandy-ish fop to his dressing style, we daresay a ‘celeb is in da house’.

Fidel Odinga — Power is like a co-

logne called ‘Ce-lebrity’ and the scion of the Prime Minister has it in

spades.

Prezzo — The man who brought the ‘G’ to

the litter of celebrity here, and so gave it glitter, is making a comeback, including

a memoir.

Marya — No show is com-plete today if Miss Marya has not taken to the stage.

Oliech — Denno is no more a men-ace, but he is one of the

Wanuri Kahiu —She is the most prolific cinematographer around.

Budda Blaze — Where there is smoke there’s a fire, and where ‘things’ are happening, there’s Blaze.

Tanya — You just cannot es-cape her face whether on TV plays, ads, and billboards.

Nikki — Sheila Mwanyiga is another long term celebrity on our list, being that rare diva who hosts shows, including radio, does music videos and is an all rounded triple threat.

Kendi — She looks like eye candy and Pulsers cannot have enough of this young lady.

Camp Mulla — They are the hottest band to emerge into Celebville, with a real swag about them, and the resources to take the musical scene ‘tsuna-