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A H A N D B O O K F O R P A R E N T S A B O U TC O P I N G W I T H L E A R N I N G D I S A B I L I T I E S
A T E N E O D E M A N I L A U N I V E R S I T YF I N E A R T S B A C H E L O R O F I N F O R M A T I O N D E S I G N
S E N I O R S ’ C R E A T I V E P R O J E C T2 0 1 5
TABLE OF CONTENTS
FOREWORD
WHY YOU?WHAT ARE LEARNING DISABILITIES?5 STAGES OF COPING
GENERAL INSTRUCTIONSPINTEREST
DENIALANGERBARGAININGDEPRESSIONACCEPTANCE
STRESS MANAGEMENT WARNING SIGNS BATTLING STRESS REDUCE STRESS EXTERNALLY REDUCE STRESS INTERNALLY ACTION PL AN
BIBLIOGRAPHY
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01
Each grade level in school increase its workload as it
progresses. It could be overwhelming for young children to
consistently keep up with its fast pacing, especially if they
have Learning Disabilities. Their tendency to be bullied and
treated as an outcast is relatively high. There might even be
a number of other external and internal influences that add to the pressure they experience. These negative events,
given that they happen during their development period,
leave a huge impact on their sense of self.
To have learning disabilities is a difficult battle a young child has to face. In other words, your child needs you. That is why
it is also vital for you to understand yourself and how you are
coping with your children’s experiences to know how to act
and respond in the most effective way for them.
This is where this handbook could help you. This handbook
bridges the gap between your coping, your child’s coping,
and the actions that you could do that would benefit you both at the same time. In line with the strategically designed
information that provides structure to an otherwise vague
blob of emotions you usually go through, that designer of
this guidebook hopes that it would assist you to
effectively figure out your next steps that would help you help your children.
03
As parents, you are the highest authority in the household,
and the most powerful influence to your children. Children with learning disabilities are vulnerable to your emotional
reactions and harbor their own. With your kids reacting to
your responses, it is your responsibility to start a supportive
cycle rather than a self-degrading, vicious cycle.
To start, you have to understand the experiences of your
children outside the comforts of your home. In a typical
Filipino classroom setting, children with learning
disabilities struggle more in academics and socialization than
their peers. Dr. Roann Munoz Ramos of Psychological
Association of the Philippines further emphasized in her
article entitled No Such Thing as Bobo: Dealing withLearning Disabilities, 40,000 school-aged Filipino children
are struggling with Learning Disabilities according to the
statistical data of the Department of Education. However,
school teachers and the children themselves know little
about these disabilities which results to the kids with
learning disabilities becoming victims of teasing, bullying
and name-calling. If not addressed correctly, these children
may internalize such treatment and view themselves as
stupid people even until adulthood.
With the society unaccepting to such conditions, you have
to strengthen the children internally to prevent them from
falling into that state. The most appropriate solution to such
problem would be Early Intervention, or a system that helps
babies and young children with developmental disabilities.
As suggested, this is best applied within the comfort of your
homes. With ample and strong support from parents,
siblings, and other household members, children with
learning disabilities will develop self-confidence despite the disorders and battle negative factors that belittle them.
Learning disabilities are problems that affect a person’s ability to
process, organize, analyze, or remember information. However, it is
important to keep in mind that these disabilities have nothing to do with
your child’s intelligence. It just so happens that the person who has
learning disabilities finds it hard to, and is slower in processing data.
The effects of learning disabilities go beyond the academic aspect of a
person. It can affect your child’s lifestyle, attitude, personality, along with
the way they handle personal relationships.
WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF LEARNING DISABILITIES?
There are various of learning disabilities. More often than not, children are
affected by more than one type of learning disabilities. It could affect your
child’s reading, arithmetic, spelling, or writing skills simultaneously.
Sometimes, it could even affect your child’s focus, behavior, concentration,
as well as their motor skills.
04
LEARNING DISABILITIES IN READING AND LANGUAGE:
Learning disabilities in reading affect a child in two ways: first, he or she has difficulties with the basic skills required to know the relationshipbetween letter forms, their pronunciations, and the words that they form.
A child experiencing this could misread the small letter ‘q’ as ‘p’, orinterchange ‘b’ with ‘d’. Secondly, he or she may have reading
comprehension disabilities and confuse the meanings of certain words
and phrases. When a child is having difficulty in comprehension, he or she has tendencies to read through word association rather than phonetics.
In this case, he or she might read ‘Father’ as ‘Dad’. Children with learning disabilities in language exert more effort to communicate and express his
or herself verbally.
DYSLEXIA
Dyslexia is a language-based learning disability. Children with this disability struggle with reading, spelling, writing,
and pronouncing words. They tend to forget the
phonetics of each letter, and have troubles combining
them words. They are slow readers, and could make a lot
of mistakes.
DYSPHASIA
Dysphasia is another language-based learning disability
characterized by difficulty in producing or understanding speech. They are prone to misuse words, misinterpret
coherent sentences, and misundestand someone’s vocal
speech and conversations.
05
LEARNING DISABILITY IN WRITING:
Children with learning disabilities in writing have problems with forming letters and words when
writing. Typically, they have indecipherable or bad
handwriting. Learning disabilities in expressive
writing affect a child’s capability to express their
ideas and thoughts on paper.
DYSGRAPHIA
Dysgraphia is a learning disability that affects a child’s
ability to handwrite and other related tasks. They also have
tendencies to make more grammatical errors and spellings
than those who do not have this disability.
LEARNING DISABILITY IN MATH:
A learning disability in Math affects a child’s interaction
with number symbols and the quantities they represent. They also have more difficulties in counting and in solving basic operational math problems.
DYSCALCULIA
Dyscalculia affects a child’s ability to use numbers visually,
verbally, or arithmetically.
06
LEARNING DISABILITY IN MOTOR SKILLS:
Dyspraxia is a disability that affects a person’s mobility
and coordination. A child with Dyspraxia generally have
uncoordinated movements or gestures with no smooth
transitions. It could affect a person’s ability to dance or
play sports.
DYSPRAXIA
BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES
Sometimes, a child with learning disabilities develops
behavioral conditions. In some cases, this might just be a
result from the frustration they feel for not being able to
learn as quickly or as productively as other people. Other times, there might be a need to have them examined for
actual deficit disorders.
ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER (ADD)
An attention deficit disorder (ADD) is a weakness in the brain’s ability to focus on important sensory information.
ADD can impact a student’s ability to processes
information from a teacher’s words, music, video, and
written text. An attention deficit may also affect the brain’s ability to filter out information that is not important.People with ADD cannot tune out distractions that
others may barely notice.
07
In her book entitled Learning Disabilities: A Family Affair, Dr. Betty Os-
man, a New York based psychologist, explained the coping strategies of
the parents of children with learning disabilities. She also introduced the
comparison between the experiences of the parents of these children
while coping and Kübler-Ross’ and David Kessler’s “Five Stages of Grief”
diagram. Dr. Betty highlighted the fact that the parents of these children
are also suffering from loss – loss of the usual and normal
development of their children.
In this handbook, we will refer to this diagram as the Five Stages of
Coping. Each stage will have an assessment, discovery, and solution part that would allow you to evaluate yourself and your actions step-by-step in
order to healthily cope with your family’s struggle with learning disabilities.
09
Each stage will be preceded by an indicator checklist. Check whichever you can relate to. Five or more checked items will indicate that you are
currently in that stage of coping. Sometimes, you might find yourself to be in two or more stages at once. That’s perfectly normal. These stages do
not occur in a linear process in real life. There would be instances where
you skip a step or you go back one stage behind, or you experience them
all at once. Upon knowing which stage (or stages) you are in, read through the definition and action plan that comes with it. At the end of each stage description, there would be instructions or links that will direct you to
other parts of the handbook, online websites and resources, pinterest
boards, and other digital resources that came along with this handbook.
The goal is to let this handbook guide you to get to know yourself and
your way of coping, and for you to identify which stage you currently
belong in. Upon understanding how you deal with the situation that your
child has learning disabilities, you will have a clearer vision of what you
should and should not do to soothe not only your own apprehensions
towards the problem, but also your child’s fears and frustrations, and your
entire family concerns.
10
11
When you do sign up, you’ll have the option to link either your
acebook or Twitter account with your Pinterest account. Why should
you consider connecting? It’ll make it easier for you to find your friends, family members, and favorite blogs and brands to follow on
Pinterest. If you prefer to start with just your e-mail address, you can
always connect your social accounts later.
1. SIGN UP OR LOG IN
To create a new board on your account, click the “Add +” button
in the upper right-hand corner of your main Pinterest page. Select
the option to Create a Board (more on the other two options on the next page). Give your board a descriptive name so your followers know what types of pins they’ll find on it. The category options are set by Pinterest, so select whichever is closest or choose “other”
for those wildcard boards. The final option before you create your board is to add another pinner to it. This means that they will have
the ability to add pins (and other pinners) to the shared board. They won’t, however, be able to edit the title or the category of the
board.
2. CREATE YOUR OWN BOARD
12
To add a pin to one of your boards, click on either the “Pin It”
button in your bookmark bar or on the website you’re reading.
A screen will pop up asking you to select the image you want
to pin (if there’s more than one photo on the page), after selecting the image you’ll get another window to create the pin.
You’ll do two things in this window—choose which board to add the
pin to and write a description of the image you’re pinning.
Select the board using the drop down menu in the window. If you
want to add your pin to a new board, you can create one directly
from the drop down menu as well. Once you’ve selected the board, write a description of your pin—something to help you remember
why you added it to your boards.
3. SEARCH THEN START PINNING INSTANTLY
13
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS HAVE YOU
SAID TO YOURSELF OR TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE?
“Wala namang problema. Iba-iba naman angdevelopment ng mga bata.”
“Ganiyan din ako nung bata ako. Maayos naman akongayon. Paglaki niyan, magiging maayos din siya.”
“Madali lang naman iyon, eh! Hindi ko maintindihankung bakit hindi niya magawa.”
“Hindi naman ganoon katalino ang anak ko.”
“Ngayon lang iyan. Kakalakihan din niya iyan.”
“Hindi. Hindi siya ganiyan kaya hindi namin kailanganng tulong!”
“Hindi siguro natututukan ng teacher sa school kaya ganyan iyan.”
“Hindi ko kasi siya naturuan agad. Naging abala ako sa trabaho.”
“Delayed lang iyan. Makakahabol din siya sa ibang bata.”
“Lalaki kasi. Mas mabilis naman talagang magsalita atmagbasa ang mga babae.”
15
Coping usually starts with denial, but this does not mean you literally do not know or notice the symptoms of learning disabilities in your child’s
development. It means that you are refusing to accept that they may
actually have learning disabilities, or you find excuses to explain and justify the observations you have about your child. These statements can range
from “Kakalakihan din niya iyan” to more absurd reasoning such as “Masi-yado siguro nahilo sa stroller noong baby pa siya.”
When you are in denial, it means that your mind and body are naturally
protecting you from shock and pain. However, this stage is both a blessing
and a curse. While denying the problem might protect you from stress, it
could also paralyze you or prevent you from doing the appropriate actions
to help your child with learning disabilities. The longest idle time usually
happens in this stage.
It is important to keep in mind that you don’t have to force yourself to get
out of this stage. However, it is vital for you to be aware that you are
actually in this stage for you to be able to progress. As you gradually learn
to accept the presence of learning disabilities in your family, you start
your coping process.
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18
Denial is a normal and expected reaction. As established in the previous
section, the longest idle time usually happen in this stage. This causes
hardships in reaching out to your child, as well as delays in providing what
they need. Oftentimes, denial is caused by lack of compelling information about your child’s condition.
One of the most effective way to take yourself out of denial is intervention through these steps:
Examine and recognized the issue you have been trying to avoid. Ask
yourself the questions “Why do I react in this manner towards the situa-
tion?”, “What kind of events do I react defensively to?”
EXAMINE THE ISSUE
FOCUS AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL THE TRUTH
Focus on the things that you have been ignoring and know if what the
people have been telling you are real. Push yourself to think about the
issue despite its discouraging context.
DON’T PROCRASTINATE
The longer you put off addressing the issue, the more you sink in denial.
Prep yourself and courageously face your behavior towards the problem.
Dictate actions to yourself: assess the problem, make a plan to solve it,
and sitick to it.
19
LEARNING DISABILITIES
DYSLEXIA DEFINITION
DYSGRAPHIA DEFINITION
DYSCALCULIA DEFINITION
DYSPHASIA DEFINITION
DYSPRAXIA DEFINITION
ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER DEFINITION
EXTERNAL LINKS
DID YOU EVER BLAME THE FOLLOWING
FOR YOUR CHILD’S CONDITION?
Yourself
Your spouse
Your own child
Your child’s yaya
Your child’s school
Your child’s teacher
Your child’s playmates or siblings
Other parents
The government
The supernatural and elementals
God
21
23
Anger occurs in many forms. You could be angry at your child’s school for
“not teaching your child enough,” or at your spouse for not “supporting
you and your child properly” or at yourself for not being to “prevent” this
problem from occurring. Having all these resentments could mean a good
thing. It means that you are consciously feeling safe enough to feel
something rather than to deny everything. But like all the other stages,
prolonged lingering on this stage can lead to miscommunication and
broken relationships.
More often than not, this stage is a necessity in your coping progress.
Anger is the emotion we are most used to managing so allow yourself to
truly feel it and let it drain out of your system. This stage is the start of you
acknowledging the presence of learning disabilities in your family. It could
serve as the link between neglect and denial to the beginning of
addressing your problem.
24
Anger is an internal emotion, but it could be triggered by the smallest
thing such as misplaced keys, wailing child in the morning, or passive
spouse. A key solution to this is to develop some kind of system in your
household to allow things to happen more smoothly.
Kids with learning disabilities often feel frustrated and not confidentbecause of the things they cannot do. One of the things you can do to prevent this is to assign chores for your children to do. Accomplishing
chores do not only boost their self-esteem, but it also teaches focus,
responsibility, and self-discipline.
ASSIGNING THE RIGHT CHORES
School-aged kids ranging from seven to twelve can do more physical
work such as sweeping the floor, helping set the table, and washing the dishes. They can also be more responsible with themselves and organize
their own clothes and other things.
If your children are in their teens, there’s not much that they couldn’t do,
but do not force themselves to do things they hate as they would tend to
develop an attitude against doing it rather than taking the initiative to a
execute.
CONSIDER THE AGE, INTEREST, AND SKILL SET
25
Children with learning disabilities may need for you to teach them how to do their chores step-by-step in order for them to fully understand what
you want them to do.
GIVE CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS
Do not neglect your children’s efforts in fulfilling a task. Take time to check how they did but do not expect perfection. Instruct them more in a
gentle manner for them to improve. Rewarding their behavior could posi-
tively reinforce these chores to become habits.
DO QUALITY CHECK AND REWARD SYSTEM
Assess whether instructions are followed more if you directly tell them
or write them on paper and repeatedly use that technique to effectively make your child do their chores. It is also recommended to use charts and
post them in places where they can see it majority of the time in order for
them to be reminded of the responsibilities they have.
VERBAL AND VISUAL INSTRUCTIONS
LINKS
VISUAL CHARTS FOR ACCORDING TO TASKS
VISUAL CHARTS FOR ACCORDING TO AGES
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SITUATIONS HAVE YOU
ALREADY EXPERIENCED?
You got jealous of other children for being normal
You got jealous of other parents for having children with
the usual development milestones
You have said “It should have been me and not my child.
It’s unfair.”
You felt cheated that you and your family are the ones who
are experiencing this situation
You asked a lot of “What if…” questions
You said “I’ll do whatever it takes as long as this problem
would disappear.”
You felt that you should have enrolled your child to another
school
You felt that you fell short in teaching your child the basic
knowledge (the alphabet, counting, shapes, walking) and therefore want to do it again
You asked God “What did we do to deserve this?”
You went to see various professionals to know more about
what’s going with your child
You talked to counselors, pastors, friends and family and
asked them for advice
You researched online and felt overwhelmed
You fought with your spouse regarding the issue
27
The dictionary meaning of bargaining is to negotiate terms and conditions.
At this point, you might have the feeling of having to redo all the things
you have done before, or your mind is constantly coming up with deals
and negotiations to exert more effort in teaching and taking care of your
child when he or she was younger. You begin to ask questions in a “what if” manner. Bargaining could be the result of helplessness and
vulnerability, and all that you can do is to question the things you areenjoying now and whether or not all those could be traded for the
betterment of your child.
Having these thoughts nonetheless means you are progressing. If you no-
tice, this stage is when you first think of doing anything. This stage means actions. You have to understand, nevertheless, the actions you are thinking
of doing, and whether or not they would be effective and fruitful enough
to not only help yourself but to help your child as well.
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30
According to Julie Axelrod in her article entitled The Five Stages of Loss and Grief in the website psychcentral.com, to bargain is a normal reaction
to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability – often in a need to regain
control. In a sense, you feel the need for an external help – resources.
“Many parents felt at a loss when it came to helping their childre
get along better with siblings and friends; moreover, there seemed
to be no one they could turn to for help. After all, this was not a
school problem.” (Osman, 1979)
In contrast, a list of resources whom you can call, read, or watch that
can give further insights to what the parents and the children are going
through is needed to ease your vulnerability and help you progress to the
next stage.
In addition to that, you can establish your own network by getting support
from your network your friends, relatives, family doctors, church pastors,
your child’s teachers as well as other parents that might be experiencing
the same situation you are in.
31
ORGANIZATIONS AND PROFESSIONALS
FORUM DIRECTORY
LAWS AND RIGHTS OF THE DISABLED
LINKS
EXTERNAL LINK
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF EXPERIENCING
THE FOLLOWING?
not wanting to get out of bed
always crying and in constant worry
detaching from family members
detaching from your spouse
feeling like you’re living on autopilot
losing your appetite
not enjoying the things you used to love
extreme feeling of loss and isolation
not wanting to talk to anyone
extreme moodswings and irritability
33
This stage is where the heaviness of the scenario finally sinks in fully inyour consciousness. You feel demotivated and lazy to move even just to
do the basic necessities such as eating or cleaning the house.
Self-pity, loneliness, anxiety, and feelings of emptiness usually
consumes you. This is the most difficult stage to get out of aside fromDenial, as most of reactions are internal.
35
36
Firstly, it is important to note that this stage is not synonymous with clinical
depression or any mental illnesses.
In its simplest form, depression can be translated to extreme sadness and
incapability. You would often feel discouraged in this stage and would
rather stay in bed the whole day. When you reach this stage, similarly with
Anger, allow yourself to feel the sorrow and heaviness of your situation.
Having these emotions only mean that you have already peeled off the top
layers that masks your pain. Once you have released all the negativity in you, you will be prepped enough to accept that your child have learning
disabilities.
37
INDOOR BONDING IDEAS
RECIPES
TRAVEL!
BOOKS & FILMS
RELAXING ACTIVITIES
ARTS AND CRAFTS
GAMES
LINKS
THESE SIGNS INDICATE THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY
REACHED THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE:
You are able to recognize and admit the presence of the
learning disability
You find yourself making plans to address the problemYou are able to talk about the learning disability with
different people without feeling angry, guilty, or
breaking down
You are able to have more good days than bad days
You don’t feel guilty
You do not feel as angry and irritable as you did before
You are able to enjoy the things you love doing without
feeling guilty
You are able to detach yourself from your emotions
You are able to help your child patiently and without
feeling frustrated
You have a better relationship with every member in
your family
You feel healthier and more energetic
39
Acceptance by itself does not mean that you welcome the disabilities
with open arms or you are beyond at ease with its existence. Acceptance
means you are ready to fully acknowledge that your child will not be
having regular and usual experiences, and you are set to take
responsibility, and are dedicated to help your child with his or her needs.
At this point, you have to realize that these steps may not occur in a linear
or procedural manner. You may have skipped some stages or go through
each of these stages in a different order. Despite that, what is
important now is that you are able to survive through those other
stages–you stopped denying the truth and you started listening to
your own needs as well as your family’s. You are now ready to do the
appropriate methods to help your children and to reach outside of
yourself, branching out even outside of your household, and build a
network of people and resources that help you.
41
42
In line with that, according to Osman, “When children are content, their parents reap the rewards.” Here we can also suggest the parents to “treat
themselves to some of the love and understanding they work so hard to
provide for their children.
The next section of the handbook is all about Stress Management. Now
that you have at least started to recognize your stressor (learningdisabilities), it is best if you know how to handle and manage it tomaintain your position in this stage.
43
MASSAGES AND SPAS
DIY BEAUTY
WORK OUT ROUTINES
GETAWAYS AND RESORTS
FASHION
ARTS AND CRAFTS
HOME RELAXATION IDEAS
LINKS
SPORTS AND RECREATION
BOYS NIGHT OUT IDEAS
44
4345
WHAT IS STRESS?
Stress is the physical, mental, or emotional strain caused the pressure or
demanding situations. However, stress can still be a motivator to help you
perform better. Most of the time, though, when badly managed, it can be
the source for unnecessary bad health conditions, taints in relationships,
and ineffective work ethics.
WHAT CAUSES STRESS?
TOO MUCH DEMAND
If the demands of factors that stresses you are much more than what you
can cope with, then you may feel the negative effects of stress such as
fatigue. The responsibilities that come along with being a parent of a child
with Learning Disabilities falls under this.
TOO LITTLE DEMAND
If there is a sudden decrease in the load of work you are used to having,
you might feel some negative effects of stress as well, such as insecurity or
paranoia. The absence of development and stimulation in your kids is an
example of this.
46
The following are lists of common symptoms of stress. The number of
signs that apply to you is an indication of how high your stress levels are.
Low energy and fatigue
Feeling cold and sweaty
Difficulty in breathing
Headaches
Upset stomachs including diarrhea, constipation,
and nausea
Aches and tense muscles
Palpitations and heartburn, chest pains
Insomnia
Lack of sexual desire
Dry skin, breakouts, and irritation
PHYSICAL SIGNS
47
Short-tempered
Agitation
Moodswings
Depression or general unhappiness
Sense of loneliness or isolation
Feeling overwhelmed
Loss of confidence and self-esteem
EMOTIONAL SIGNS
Memory problems
Inability to concentrate
Seeing only the negative
Anxiety and overthinking
Poor judgment and indecision
Loss of self-esteem
MENTAL SIGNS
Eating less or more than usual
Excessive drinking and smoking
Nervous habits such as nail biting
Procrastination and neglect of responsibilities
Lack of or excessive sleeping
Wanting isolation
BEHAVIORAL SIGNS
48
Being a parent to a child with learning disabilities have multiple
demands. Managing your stress means balancing these demands and your
ability to cope. Knowing where you cope less will help with how you can
balance being a parent to your learning disabled child with being a
spouse, or being a parent to your other children, or being an employee or
business owner.
Identify at least the top 3 underlying causes of your stress.
This will help you understand why they cause you stress
and develop a plan to solve it.
Prioritize your stress. This will help you decide how and
when to manage them.
Listen to your body. Watch out for the symptoms of stress
in your body. How are the causes affecting you?
Know your coping strategies. What do you usually do when
you are stressed? Are they effective enough to relax you?
Are you sure they are the appropriate actions to take? How
else can you cope?
Take action. Now that you know the cause of your stress
and its effect on you, take the initiative to make actions
plans on how to relax yourself to be able to reduce the
pressure you feel.
HERE ARE 5 STEPPING STONES THAT
COULD HELP YOU GET STARTED:
49
TALK AND CONVERSE
Oftentimes, when you are stressed, you are usually overwhelmed and it can feelsomething akin to nausea due to eating too much, or a glass of water already filled to brimw. Therefore, having an outlet is important. It will help you calm down and ease your
worry.
Here are some tips you can do reduce stress externally:
Improving your communication with the people closest to you will lessen
your feeling of confinement and helplessness. Once they know how you are feeling, they can help you in diminishing your worries about your child
and your whole family. Be honest with how you feel, even if at times, they
also become a source of your aggravation.
HEALTHY DIET AND EXERCISE
When you are stressed, your immune system is weakened, therefore you
are more prone to sickness. When you are sick, you can experience more
frustrations, and mental and emotional stress due to the added difficulty of different illness such as flu, headaches, and diarrhea. Battle thissickness with the right healthy diet and enough exercise.
REST AND RELAXATION
A hobby or an interest can be constructive way of relieving way. Do
something that brings you happiness or peace of mind and use that as
anchor in coping with stress. Get pampered in spas, have a massage, take
a vacation, go shopping, or visit a park or museum. It is best if you take
your family with you for additional quality time thus strengthening your relationship with your whole family.
50
Most often than not, we are stressed by non-existent problems, and are
pressured only by what are minds are telling us. The demands and your
ability to cope may be determined by how you choose to see things. It
is your perception of events, rather than the events themselves are the
problem. You must know that only you are responsible for your reactions,
emotional, mental and physical.
What can you do?
Blowing up the problem, generalizing, and uttering the
words “always,” “must,” “should,” and many other words
are factors of how you view the situation. Identify your
unrealistic beliefs and expectations and remember that you
yourself, your child with learning disabilities, and the
people around you are not superhuman beings. Allow
yourself–and them–space to commit mistakes.
You may not have the capabilities to change the fact that
your child has learning disabilities. However, you can
change your perception of the situation, and influence your children and your family to view the camaraderie with a
more positive understanding.
Use the strategy of positive thinking and positive “self-
talk.” Give yourself messages that are messages of
affirmation, cheer, and encouragement. Tell yourself, “I am okay, and I will be able to go through these obstacles.”
DO NOT EXAGGERATE
CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTIONS
51
SELF-ASSESSMENT
Underneath is an evaluation chart that you can answer to figure out how far have you gone from the first stage which is denial, to being able to accept and managing your stress. Use this in order to know which area you
still need to develop, and which area you were able to do best and use it
as an anchor to further improvements.
EVENT:
WHO IS INVOLVED?
HOW DID I REACT?HOW DID I FEEL?
HOW DID I INTERACTWITH MY CHILD?
HOW DID I INTERACT WITH MY SPOUSE?
HOW DID THEY REACT?
AREAS TO IMPROVE ON:
53
SELF-ASSESSMENT
Upon knowing which aspect you still need to work on, develop a
masterplan in order for you not to be overwhelmed and discouraged by
the amount of things you have left to do. Remember, small steps at a time.
Use the Action Plan below to be able to develop a goal for yourself.
Remember to set SMART goals–Specific, Measurable, Achievable,Realistic, Time-based.
STRESSOR:
WHY DID IT STRESSED ME?
WHO ARE THE PEOPLEINVOLVED?
HOW TO IMPROVE?
DEVELOPMENT GOALSWHAT ACTIONS TO TAKEWHO CAN YOU ASK FOR HELP?
TO BE COMPLETED BY:TO BE COMPLETED ON:
56
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Logsdon, A. (n.d.). Understanding Attention Deficit Disorders (ADD). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://learningdisabilities.about. com/od/learningdisabilitybasics/a/atntiondeficits.htm
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Ia, T. (n.d.). How do you help your children bounce back from disappoint ment or deal with a challenging situation? Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://www.specialeducationphilippines. com/2014/11/26/how-do-you-help-your-children-bounce-back-from- disappointment-or-deal-with-a-challenging-situation/
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Dysgraphia. (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://ldaamerica.org/ types-of-learning-disabilities/dysgraphia/
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