Procrastinators & Perfectionists - GIFTED SUPPORT …€¢How can perfectionism and procrastination be overcome? Procrastinators and Perfectionists Gifted Support Network August 30,

Procrastinators and Perfectionists Gifted Support NetworkAugust 30, 2016

Emily Kircher-Morris, [email protected]

www.unlimitedpotentialstl.com

Procrastinators & Perfectionists

Presented by Emily Kircher-Morris, LPC

Gifted Support Network Speaker Series

Tonight’s Goals…

• What causes perfectionism?

• What does perfectionism look like?

• Why do kids (and adults) procrastinate?

• How can perfectionism and procrastination be overcome?




“When you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means

paint, and that voice will be

silenced.”

-Vincent Van Gogh




What is perfectionism?

Goal vaulting




Integrating Dialectics:

• Dialectics teach us that there is always more than one way to see a situation and more than one way to solve a problem.

• Two things that seem like (or are) opposites can both be true.

• Use “Both/And” instead of “Either/Or.”

• I am doing the best I can AND I need to do better.

• I can do this AND it’s going to be hard.

Focus on progress, not

perfection!

The process is more important

than the product!




Procrastination

Overwhelmed and Over-committed

• Many times,

procrastination is the

result of over-

commitment.

• May stem from

multipotential abilities.

• Procrastination is a result

of being stretched too

thin.

• Leads to stress and

frustration.




Fear of Failure

What if I

look

dumb?

I haven’t been taught how to do this before. I’d better

not risk messing it up.

Other people do

this better than me.

Fear of Success

People will

like me more

if I’m not the

best.

As I get better at playing piano, people will expect

me to keep expecting more of me.

I love med school

but what if I hate

being a doctor?




Initiation: Failure to Launch

• “Initiation” is an executive functioning skill

• Most young children don’t initiate a task until told; kids need help transitioning to independence as they get older.

Strategies for Building Task Initiation

• Maintaining a daily, weekly, and monthly calendar with visual reminders of tasks that need to be completed and the time it will take to complete them.

• Coach time management skills.

• Use timers and alarms! Lots of them! This reduces the need for nagging and reminders.

• Model how you manage your own time.

• Natural consequences are much more meaningful than a quick fix and a lecture.




Recommended Reading

• Beyond Intelligence: Secrets for Raising Happily Productive Kids by Dona Matthews, Ph.D. and Joanne Foster, Ed.D.

• How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims

• Not Now, Maybe Later by Joanne Foster, Ed.D.

• The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey

• Twice-Exceptional Gifted Children: Understanding, Teaching, and Counseling Gifted Students by Beverly A. Trail, Ed.D.

Documents

Procrastinators & Perfectionists - GIFTED SUPPORT …€¢How can perfectionism and procrastination be overcome? Procrastinators and Perfectionists Gifted Support Network August 30,