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A View from the Crows’ Nest

The above is a reference to a recent visit withGeorge Willis and other friends to see the tall

ships at Greenock.Our Club is twenty years old this September, not

bad going from the handful of pioneers to the sixtyplus strong group we have today. Imagine having tofind 300 speakers over the years, but then our currenttalks team have no difficulty in summoning up a newgroup each year, it just gets better and better.

Outside visits, country walks, Christmas lunches,fundraising for charities, fire alarm practice, coffeemornings at the Pottery and lunches at the Clachanare all now permanent fixtures.

We are privileged to belong to a very caring groupof members. Encouragement, support, good humourand friendship are always on tap, very necessary foranyone in so called retirement.

And what of the future, who knows? Apart fromcoming to terms with the concept of electronic /digital paper. As I write Rupert Murdoch haswithdrawn his bid for B Sky B and is running forcover. The press police and members of parliamentare under scrutiny, the Arab Spring is clouding over alittle, climate change is rattling its sabre, the cost offood and fuel seems to rise almost day-by-day andAl-Qaeda is threatening a cyber jihad.

On the other hand, on September 8th we will allhopefully be meeting again this time to hear from aMaster Blender and then via the Bible, Mont Blanc,Stirling Castle, the RNLI, shipbuilding to finish upwith chemical soup (to mention just seven). I can’twait - see you then.

David Morgan

There’s a Buzz about the place

Eighteen years ago, my shepherd / farmhand, JohnAitken (Jock) knocked on our door and appeared

to be holding something living in his hand. It wasobviously small and very precious as he was handling

Probus Club of Lomond

Newsletter 15 August 2011it with great care. Jock opened his massive hands andthere was a bird about two inches high looking fuzzyand bewildered. I asked Jock where he had found it asit was my intention to return to that same spot at onceas anyone who knows anything about birds knowsthat the mother will usually find a way of feeding andlooking after it. However Jock told me he had found itat the bottom of a very tall tree which boasted abuzzard’s nest at the top. The bird was very youngand there was absolutely no way of getting it back tothe nest. So we decided to try and feed it and get it toa stage where we might return it to the wild.

I have always been interested in birds and have beena member of the RSPB since I was young. Therefore Iknew that you couldn’t just feed it scraps of meat. Itneeded roughage to survive. So I got out my gun andpopped off at some rabbits that had been devastatingour garden and we cut them up and hand fed theyoungster who lived in a box in the back kitchen. Wedecided that we would call him “Buzz”, not veryoriginal but appropriate enough.

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The days passed and he started to grow andeventually I put him out in the aviary where the fancypheasants used to be, before the mink got in andkilled the lot. There he has remained until this day. Hehad grown to about six inches tall and one day whilst Iwas attending to his needs, his head turned rightround and it was then that it dawned on me that wewere bringing up an owl and not a buzzard. So, nowwe had an owl called Buzz. Quite ridiculous really.

He or she, because we have never had it sexed,seemed very happy and contented in the aviary whichmeasures about 14 feet by 12 feet by 8 feet high. Theysay that the hen goes toowit and the male goes towoo,but he or she does both but not in sequence. It has hisown little house and a tree in which to conceal himselfand he has survived all the awful winters and generalbad weather and looks every inch a perfect tawny owlspecimen.

At this time of year he occasionally gets ananswering call from the woodland abutting the aviaryand sometimes a “would be partner” arrives to paycourt and sing his futile song. Earlier we looked intoletting him go into the wild but we had left it probablya month too late when he was young. I apparentlyimprinted on him as “the Mother” and I am stuckwith it, not that I mind at all. I feed it on frozen chicks(dethawed) which are readily obtainable. They discardall the males on hatching in the battery poultry henbusiness as they are no use for anything! Such is life! Itflies to my wrist to be fed but won’t do so foranybody else. I enquired with the Nature Conservancyabout how long it might live and I was told that it willlive longer with me than it would in the wild and asold as 30. So it might have 12 years to go. If I pop myclogs, maybe somebody who is keen will remember heis here!

John Mackenzie

In our first full year we changed to twice monthlymeetings in Drymen Church Hall.

Over the next 10 years I can remember a few of thevarious talks by members, Jo Arthur on “Patents”; JimLeiper on “Castles and Stately Homes”; DavidThompson on “Gartmore’s Map”; Frank Ellen on“Musical Jottings”; Jim Hendry on “Filming of theBuilding of the Forth Road Bridge”, which,incidentally went into the archives of the Scottish FilmSociety and Jack Bureau’s “Death of Politics” Theseare just the ones that my memory can produce – therewere lots of others.

By now we had discovered that many generousspeakers would take the trouble to come out toDrymen and talk to us on a myriad of topics. Onelady from Glasgow School of Art speaking on the“History of Furniture” coined the phrase that Probus,as an acronym, represented “Poor Run Down OldBuggers, Unfit for Sex” – incidentally her talk wasriveting!.

The talks now ranged far and wide – “New Ideas onthe Assassination of John F. Kennedy”; a hilarioustalk on “Forensic for Glasgow Police”; “Travel withthe Tartan army”; gruesome “Hip Replacements”;fascinating “Model Railway Engines”; enlightening“Film Making”; incredible “The Broch”; interesting“World of Provost Colin O’Brien” and unbelievable“Behind the Lens” at STV to name but a few. Hordesof others were just as memorable.

The two that definitely stood out in my memorywas first a very theatrically spectacular talk by RichardPaterson, master blender on “Whyte & Mackay’sWhisky Making”, whereat we all received a smallsample of the goods to take home and taste. Shortlyafter this talk we had arranged another speaker on“Vintage Port”. We had a sell out, but imagine thedisappointment, when it turned out to be Vintage Portof Menteith! Not what they had in mind butnevertheless just as interesting.

Over these twenty years we have been well servedby the variety of talks, had lots of fun, learning aboutmany kinds of topics coupled with many visits toplaces of interest throughout Scotland, as well asjaunts to Pitlochry and other theatres. Theintroduction of the January Annual Luncheon in theWinnock hotel was a new feature of our activities butwe did worry about the finances working out.

These recollections only leave me to say a big thankyou to all the office bearers, committee members andyourselves, over these 20 years, who enabled thehopes of the original 19 members to be realised insuch a satisfying way.

Now we can look forward to the next 20 years andthe Queen’s telegram!!!

Wallace Cuthbertson

Recollections of the first TwentyYears

Towards the end of 1991 nineteen recently retiredgentlemen, from Drymen and thereabouts,

discovered that they were unable to join StrathendrickProbus Club because it had closed its membership.Their Chairman Tom Brown, also from Drymen,suggested that we start our own Probus Club. He andtheir Secretary called us to a meeting and “hey presto”the Probus Club of Lomond came into being. Weelected a Chairman / Secretary, a Treasurer and aTalks Convenor. We were so small in number, andshort of funds, that we thought we should meet onlyonce a month and the speakers should come from oursmall membership. Memory is so frustrating but I doremember John Gleave giving a talk on “ScottishPottery” as did others.

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Impressions of Probus

At this time last year I had no idea what PROBUSwas. If it hadn't been for George Bennie telling

me about it and asking if I was interested, I would stillbe unaware of the club's existence.

By enrolling late I missed the first two meetings butI attended all the rest apart from Jack Webster's “FromMaud to Manhattan”.  I'm told I missed what waspossibly the best talk of the year. (Any chance of areturn engagement?) He must have been really goodas the thing that impressed me about PROBUS wasthe general quality of the speakers and the diversity ofthe various subjects they covered. I was alsoimpressed by those members who gave the vote ofthanks after each talk.

I have visited Drymen countless times, but throughPROBUS I was introduced to the Clachan wheremany members congregate after the meeting forlunch. There one gets to delve further into the subjectwith the guest speaker.

One criticism I have is the stacking chairs, which wefortunately only have to sit on for an hour or so.During her talk, Dr Morag Thow got us to carry outsome simple exercises while seated. I blame the chairsfor an unscheduled trip to my chiropractor. If thealternative venue at the Church has better chairs, itwill get my vote.

Haldane Duncan

Pitlochry visit

This year’s visit to Pitlochry was yet another happyoccasion. Our visit to the PFT on 26th May was

great fun and all appeared to enjoy the play - a 1945war time farce in three acts by Philip King “See HowThey Run”. Judging by the laughter of the audiencethe play was a great success. This was the firstperformance of the play for the Season and it wasthoroughly professional with impeccable “timing” bythe actors.

As usual we stopped on the way north at BlackfordVisitor Centre for coffee and scones and followingafternoon tea at the Theatre we returned to Buchlyvieand Drymen on our comfortable coach provided byHunters of Alloa.

Bill Fowler

Letter to the Prime MinisterDear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing the UK'seconomy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks thatwill squander the money on lavish parties andunearned bonuses, use the following plan. You cancall it the “Patriotic Retirement Plan”.

There are about 10 million people over 50 in thework force. Pay them £1 million each severance forearly retirement with the following stipulations:1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings -

unemployment fixed2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million

cars ordered - Car Industry fixed3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their

mortgage. - Housing Crisis fixed4) They MUST send their kids to

school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

Members, friends and family prepare to leave Pitlochry well filled with afternoon tea.

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol /tobacco a week.

And there's your money back in duty/tax etc. It can'tget any easier than that!P.S. If more money is needed, have all members ofparliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses andsecond home allowances.

Supplied by Arthur Benns.

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disappeared altogether and our party had toaccomplish some remarkable gymnastics to get overnewly erected deer-fencing. Such are the hazards ofthe great outdoors! Fortunately these are rareoccurrences.

Many thanks to all those regulars who have helpedto make these outings so enjoyable. If I could quotethe advice of Seton Gordon given to a friend :

“It is a fine thing for you to have a love of the hills because onthe hills you find yourself near grand and beautiful things, andas you grow older you will love them more and more”.

Good companionship, great exercise and reallywonderful views in the superb countryside on ourdoorstep are what these walks are all about. I am surewe all look forward to more interesting routes insession 2011/2012.

Jim Morris

Walking Group

A varied programme of four walks was undertakenby the group in the session 2010/2011 ranging

from Glen Finglas in the Trossachs to the SallochyTrail near Rowardennan. The programme alsoincluded another two “old favourites”, the waterpipeline track from Blanefield to Killearn ( this timewith a more varied route) and a return to MugdockCountry Park. This means that since we started, theWalking Group has now carried out twelve differentwalks.

For the record the walks that we did in the lastProbus session were as follows :-Tuesday 5th October

Blanefield to Killearn via Glengoyne and The BeechTree Inn.

Monday 15th NovemberWoodland Trust Estate, Glen Finglas.

Thursday 3rd MarchMugdock Country Park from Drumclog Moor carpark, Milngavie.

Thursday 19th MaySallochy Trail, East Loch Lomond.The first two of these walks have already been

described in some detail in the March Newsletter. Wehad an excellent turnout for the Mugdock CountryPark walk on 3rd March. The weather was fine andthe lentil soup at the Stables coffee shop in the VisitorCentre can be strongly recommended.

The final walk of the session on 19th May proved tobe more of a challenge. To begin with we found thatthe Park authorities had closed down the SallochyWoodland car park for a major upgrade, so we had topark at the roadside further along. Then we foundlarge scale logging operations were taking place onpart of the trail ( there was no warning about this atthe bottom of the hill !). This did not impede us toomuch at the top ( except that it was very muddy), buton our way down the original track had just about

Walking Group Members enjoy the fine weatherat Mugdock Country Park

Negotiating the Deer Fence at Sallochy

ContributionsTo continue the Newsletter we need contributions.

Have you news, views or information to share withother members?

Have you any items you would like to see included?Contact Arthur Benns, Peter Smith or any committeemember with your ideas.

Editorial team

Cows

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing thatduring the mad cow epidemic our government

could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost threeyears earlier, right to the stall where she slept in thecounty of Cumbria? And they even tracked her calvesto their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000illegal immigrants wandering around our country.Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

Supplied by Arthur Benns