PROBLEMS - Sri Ramakrishna Seva Samithi, Bapatla · lems’, Revered Swami Aksharatmanandaji Maharaj (President, Sri Ramakrishna Math, Rajahmundry) delivered the key-note address

PROBLEMSand how to face them?

Swami Aksharatmananda

PublishersSri Ramakrishna Seva Samithi

Bapatla - 522 101Andhra Pradesh, India

2 Problems - and how to face them?

Published bySri Ramakrishna Seva SamithiBapatla - 522 101 AP India

© All rights reserved

First print 3000 copies August, 2006Reprints 3000 copies February, 2007

3000 copies September, 20075000 copies August, 20083000 copies September, 20096000 copies April, 2010

For Copies :Sri Ramakrishna Seva SamithiBapatla - 522 101 AP Indiae-mail: [email protected]: www.unworldliness.org

Explanation for the cover page: In spite ofthe oppressive living conditions in the Saharadesert, these small flowering plants are fightingthe battle of life by putting forth beautifulflowers. They amply demonstrate to us how weshould face the problems of life and overcomethem.

3Problems - and how to face them?

Publisher's noteThere is not a man in this world who does not have a

problem. All of us are occupied with some problem or theother, all the time. Therefore, the questions like ‘what is aproblem?’ and ‘how to face a problem?’ become very impor-tant in our lives. This small book answers those questions.

In a seminar conducted by our Samithi on the topic ‘Prob-lems’, Revered Swami Aksharatmanandaji Maharaj (President,Sri Ramakrishna Math, Rajahmundry) delivered the key-noteaddress. When we wanted to publish the said lecture Re-vered Maharaj added some more information and explana-tion to it. Our humble salutations to Revered Maharaj forkindly permitting us to publish the book.

First we published this book in Telugu (December, 2003)which received an overwhelming response from all quar-ters. Then our samithi felt the need to publish the saidbook in English as well. We are thankful to our membersDr. A. Srikantha Phani, Lecturer, Cambridge University,England and Dr. T. Sasi, Scientist, General Electric,Bangalore for proof-reading the manuscript.

We are sure that this small book-let would be of greathelp to people from all walks of life in solving the prob-lems they face in both material and spiritual planes.

Krishnashtami PublishersAugust, 2006


1 December, 2003Foreword

Swami Vivekananda while writing the introduc-tion to Raja Yoga said, “A huge locomotive hasrushed on over the line and a small worm that wascreeping upon one of the rails saved its life bycrawling out of the path of the locomotive. Yetthis little worm, so insignificant that it can becrushed in a moment, is a living something, whilethis locomotive, so huge, so immense, is only anengine, a machine.” Now Swamiji asks us to con-sider which of the two is greater - the small wormor the big locomotive? Swamiji himself answersthat the worm is greater than the locomotive be-cause it has consciousness. It has the capability tothink and to reason. The locomotive is powerfulbut inert. It has no consciousness and it can’t think.

Man is far more evolved than the worm. Godendowed man with intelligence. With that intelli-gence man should lead a purposeful life. But man


is not able to do that. To lead a purposeful lifewe need to understand what is life. We need tohave an goal in our life.

To attain this goal we use mind as our tool.‘Mana eva manushyaanaam kaaranam bandhamokshayoh’ - ‘Mind is entirely responsible for ei-ther throwing us into bondage or giving us free-dom.’ Therefore, what we do with mind and theresults we we obtain from those thoughts deter-mine our progress in life. If we use our mind prop-erly, it will take us higher in our life or otherwise itwill lead to our ruin.

How to give good thoughts to our minds andhow to attain greatness are some of the questionswhich were discussed in this book by SwamiAksharatmananda. He detailed them with suitableexamples. The ideas presented in this book wouldcertainly prove to be a source of inspiration toeverybody. I hope that this book would be readby one and all.

(Swami Swatmananda) Sri Ramakrishna Math

Rajahmundry


Author’s Prefaceto the Telugu Edition

In English language there are several bookswhich discuss the topics like proper conduct inlife, how to face criticism etc. In India there areseveral religious books available on these topicsbut they do not give sufficient number of exam-ples to explain the basic principle. Even when youfind some examples they may be old and may notsuit the modern times. Therefore I tried to bringall such ideas into one compilation with suitableexamples to suit the modern times.

There is a sloka in Sanskrit regarding education.Anantha saastram bahu veditavyamalpascha kaalo bahavascha vighnaahyatsaara bhootam tadupaasitavyamhamso yathaa ksheeramivaambu misram


The meaning of this sloka is:“Whereas the books to be read are infinite, the

time available is limited and the obstacles are many.Therefore, we should absorb the essence of thebooks much like the swan described in the Puranaswhich seperates milk from water.”

This book is being published by Sri RamakrishnaSeva Samithi, Bapatla to bring the ideas of per-sonality development to the doorstep of Telugureaders. I shall be happy if this book succeeds ingiving some inspiration to the youth. I am thank-ful to Sri Amirapu Natarajan for translating thisbook into Telugu. I am much indebted to ReveredSwami Swatmanandaji Maharaj for writing a fore-word for this book. My special thanks are due tomy friends and well-wishers who encouraged meto write this book.

I have collected a variety of flowers to make agarland. I do not claim that the flowers are all mine.

(Swami Aksharatmananda) President

Sri Ramakrishna Math Rajahmundry


Contents01 The difference between man and man 0902 What is Happiness? 1003 Happiness - A Habit 1204 Role of Attitude 1505 Circumstances 1906 Obstacle or Opportunity? 2107 Problems 2408 Be grateful to your problems 2609 What is our choice? 2910 Your attitude to problems 3011 ‘If ’ thinking and ‘How’ thinking 3112 Your approach to problems 3213 Enthusiasm 3714 Advantages of cheerfulness 4015 Don’t suffer, struggle 4116 Criticism 4917 How to cope with criticism 5218 Depression? Bounce up! 5919 Despair 6120 Don’t Worry, Be Merry! 6421 Sense of humour 6822 Will-power 7123 How to develop will-power 7724 Conclusion 87

901 The difference between man and man

1The difference between

man and man‘Do you want happiness?’ - Pose this question

to anyone and the answer you get would be adefinite ‘YES!’ But if you ask, ‘Are you happy?’his face will turn pale! There is a vast differencebetween “what we want” and “what we are” andthat matters a lot in our lives.

This difference is a measure of the satis-faction or dissatisfaction that is stored up ina person. One can use this satisfaction as aspur to go forward and achieve the goal hehas set for himself. Alternately, one may getbogged down by the dissatisfaction and wasteone’s life through constant worry.


2What is Happiness?

Once a businessman, while walking alonga beach, saw a fisherman lying down withhis net next to him. He was very happy andrelaxed and was humming a song. Thebusinessman wondered how the fishermancould be so happy. He approached the fish-erman and had a conversation with him.

Businessman: Haven’t you gone fishing today?Fisherman: Oh, yes ! I went f i shing today,

had a g o od c a t c h and s o l d i t t o o. Af t e rf inishing al l that , I am re laxing.

Businessman: Then why don’t you catch somemore fish?

Fisherman: Why should I fish more? What isthe use?

Businessman: Well, you will get more money.Fisherman: What would I do with that?Businessman: You can buy a boat yourself and

get more fish.

1102 What is Happiness?

Fisherman: And then?Businessman: You will get more money and you

can have a big house of your own.Fisherman: Then what?Businessman: You can have a TV, a refrigera-

tor, a car, etc., etc by expanding your business.Fisherman: What after that?Businessman: You can live happily!Fisherman: Is it so? Then, what am I doing

now? Am I not happy now? Do you mean to saythat I will be happy after getting all those things?I feel quite happy now anyway.

The businessman was stunned speechless.Please try to think deeply about this story. What

is the good in adding up things unnecessarily?Some people may require them, some may not.Happiness does not totally depend on externalthings. ‘Happiness is a state of mind’ says a popu-lar adage.

The intention behind telling you this storyis neither to advocate stagnation nor to dis-courage progress. Progress is good; expan-


sion is necessary. But to what extent? Theremust be careful thought if it will bringhappiness to all those concerned.

3Happiness - A Habit

Once there were two students. Both werepreparing for examinations. One day, oneof them was relaxing after studying very hardfor some time. Standing in the moon lightand looking at the beauty of the full moon,he was enjoying the peaceful night. The otherstudent asked, ‘What are you doing, myfriend?’ The former answered, ‘I amenjoying the moonlight. I will study a littlelater.’

The second student was shocked and feltthat the other student was wasting precioustime. As he was tense with “examinationfever”, he could not enjoy the soothing moon-light and was not able to find happiness inthat peaceful night even for a moment. Heneither knows how to study nor does heknow how to live.

1303 Happiness - A Habit

This is a lesson for all. It is possible to do allthe work and yet remain relaxed. To be able tocarry out your work in a responsible manneryou need not get tense.

In a TV talk-show some people who claimedthemselves happy were being interviewed.When they were asked how they were able tolive happily, one old man replied, ‘When I getup in the morning, I have two choices. Either tobe happy or to be unhappy. I just choose to behappy and that is all.’ Another happy man re-plied, ‘I made it a habit to be happy.’

All this may look too simple and you may say,‘It is easier said than done!’ But everything ispossible by “practice.” It requires right atti-tude of mind and perseverance to achieve.

Psychologists tell us that we can change ourattitudes by changing our physical actions. Forexample, if you make yourself smile, you ac-tually feel like smiling all the more. On the nega-tive side, if you frown bitterly, you feel likefrowning more and more. You feel superior


when you make yourself stand tall than whenyou slouch.

Here is a method given by Dr. David TSchwartz. It is a very simple technique, but ithas tremendous power. Practice it! Every timesomeone asks you, ‘How are you feeling to-day?’ respond by saying ‘Just wonderful!’ orsimply say ‘Fine.’

Say that you feel wonderful at every possibleopportunity and you will begin to feel won-derful and stronger too. It is not possible to bemelancholic when you say that you are feelingfine. Get known as a person who is alwayshappy and who always feels wonderful. It winsfriends!

If you analyze yourself properly, you will findthat there is always something to be happyabout. Find out what it is. Bring that up intoyour mind now and then. It will refresh yourmind and remove any despondency that mighthave crept in inadvertently.

1504 Role of Attitude

Let us see what Swami Vivekananda said inthis matter. ‘You will find at last that the easi-est way to make ourselves healthy is to see thatothers are healthy, and the easiest way to makeourselves happy is to see that others are happy.’

Therefore, as soon as you get up in the morn-ing, make a vow: ‘I am going to make some-one happy today (in a proper way).’ Not justthat, also try to put it into practice by doingsome help to someone in need. Certainly it hassome elevating effect on your mind and person-ality.

Now we can conclude that happiness in addi-tion to being a state of mind, also depends onthe attitude of the mind. So, right attitude is re-quired in the search for happiness.

4Role of Attitude

The attitude of a person towards life is a de-ciding factor in his life. How a man perceives


the events of his life and how he reacts to themis very important. It is very much known to usthat two persons can view the same incident indifferent ways. But the important thing is howwe learn a lesson from this paradox.

There is a story of a running race betweenAmerican and Russian athletes. Although youmay have heard many stories like this, this hassomething to do with our topic.

An American and a Russian participated in arace. The American came first and the Russiancame second. The Russian press reported thenews as follows: ‘Our candidate is the runner-up. The American is the last but one.’

I am not trying to discuss whether the abovereport is factually correct or not. This is justan example of looking at things from a differ-ent perspective. You can look at an event fromany angle you like.

Here is another story about two travellers andhow different their perceptions were.

1704 Role of Attitude

A weary traveller approached a wise man andinquired what kind of people dwelt in yondertown. “What kind of people were those fromwhere you have come?” the sage asked.“Knaves and fools!” scowled the traveller.“You’ll find the people here very much thesame,” the wise man said.

Another stranger approached with the samequestion. He was asked the same question bythe wise man. “Good, true and wise” was thestranger’s reply. “You’ll find the people herethe same,” the wise man said.

Do you think that the wise man was crazy?Why should he give different opinions aboutthe same village? The truth is that he knowsthe psychology of human beings. He under-stood that the first man is a hyper-critic in hisattitude towards others. He cannot see goodin others. Whatever he sees, is evil only. So thewise man told him that the second village alsowill be as bad as the first one. But the second


traveller is of an agreeable temperament. Hefound that the first village is very good andfriendly. So for him the second village will alsobe good.

The world is a mirror - We find that what weourselves project is reflected back to us. As welook at it, it looks back at us! If we smile at it,it will smile back at us. If we frown at it, it willfrown back at us. There is nothing absolutelygood or absolutely bad. What is good for onemay not be good for another. What is good inone occasion may not be good in another oc-casion. The idea is that value changes as perthe situation and the person concerned. Butthis should not become a reason to make cir-cumstances an excuse for the happiness or un-happiness of an individual. Circumstancesshould be understood properly.

1905 Circumstances

5Circumstances

It has become a habit for many people toblame the circumstances and external thingsfor their failures in life. Many students say,‘My teacher didn’t teach me well!’ or ‘My col-lege is not good enough!’ etc. Similar escap-ing excuses are given in career failures also.Blaming external things is easy.

Then how is it that others who are in thesame circumstances are faring well? Theremust be something different in the individu-als concerned.

James Allen says: One cannot alter externalthings to suit his passing whims and wishes, buthe can set aside his whims and wishes; He canso alter his attitude of mind towards externalsthat they will assume a different aspect.

He cannot mould the actions of others towardshim, but he can rightly fashion his actions towardsthem.


He cannot break down the wall of circum-stances by which he is surrounded, but he canwisely adopt himself to it, or find a way out intoenlarged circumstances by extending his mentalhorizon.

Things follow thoughts. Alter your thoughts,and things will receive a new adjustment. As withthe conduct of others, so is it with the externalthings - surroundings and circumstances. Theyin themselves are neither good nor bad, it is ourmental attitude and our state of mind that makesthem so.

The real ‘want’ that hampers a man’s progressis the ‘want of right attitude of mind.’

When a man regards his circumstances as spursto his resources, when he sees that his so calleddraw-backs are the very steps up which he is tomount successfully to his achievement, then ne-cessity gives birth to intuition, and hindrancesare transformed into aids.

2106 Obstacle or Opportunity?

“It is not external things but our thoughtsabout them that bind us or set us free.”

As we have seen in the previous section, theattitude is more important regarding circum-stances and relationships with others. The samething is applicable in the case of facing obsta-cles in life. The man with the right attitude willsay, ‘Are there any obstacles? Alright. No prob-lem. I am here to tackle them!’ Do you believethat it is possible to say like that? Yes, it is pos-sible and all should be able to say like that. Howis it possible? It can be done by converting anobstacle in to an opportunity.

6Obstacle or Opportunity?

For some people, everything seems to be aproblem or an obstacle. But the wise man ishe who can change the obstacle into an op-portunity and come up in life with the helpof obstacles.


Once there was a football match between twoteams. Many football fans and other interestedpeople were watching the game. A simpletonfrom a village, who did not know anythingabout the game was there as well. After watch-ing the game for sometime, he asked his friend,‘Why are these people fighting for a ball? Letthem come to me, I shall give them one balleach!’ If he gives them one ball each, therewon’t be any game!

For one person, the ball is an obstacle; whereasfor the other the ball is an opportunity!

‘For a wise man every obstacle is an opportunity;but for a fool every opportunity is an obstacle.’

If you want to go up the stairs, you have touse the steps. They help us to go up. But onseeing the steps, if you think that the steps areall so many obstacles, then you are lost.

Remember this: ‘A kite rises against the wind,but not with the wind.’

Suppose you undertake a project and find thatpeople are opposing you and saying all sorts

2306 Obstacle or Opportunity?

of things against you. In the case of an averageman the project will not take off at all. But thewise man - the practical man - will not bedaunted by all the ill-speech. He will use these‘attacks’ as ‘helps’ and go ahead with his work.Or in other words, ‘abuses’ become ‘blessings’for this man.

Let us see what Bhatrhari, the author ofNitisatakam, says in this respect.Aarabhyate na khalu vighna bhayena neechaihAarabhya vighna nihataa viramanti madhyaahaVighnai punah punah parihanya maanaahaPraarabdha muttamajanaah na parityajanti

“The lowest category of people never under-take any task for the fear of obstacles. Mediocresstart and give up when they encounter problems.The best men will not give up the endeavoureven though over-powered by problems againand again”

Napoleon, who was a hero of many battlessaid, “Victory belongs to the most persevering.”


Carlyle, a great thinker also said, “Every no-ble work is at first impossible. Know thy work anddo it and work at it like Hercules.”

So, you see, perseverance is one of the quali-ties found in the lives of successful people. Ifyou are creative and practical, then nothing canblock your progress; instead, everything willturn into a building block for you. For a manwho finds opportunities in every situation thereare no problems at all! He knows the art oftackling problems with ease.

7Problems

What is a problem? It is a circumstancewhere you have to exercise your thinkingpower and find a solution to a tricky situa-tion.

You can’t do any work right away. It may bean unknown condition, an unknown job or anunknown person. Once you know how totackle the problem, the problem itself ceasesto exist. A problem is not an entity; nor a per-

2507 Problems

manent phenomenon; it is only a phase that isephemeral and passes away in time, tomorrowif not today.

Take for example, eating! It is so easy forus; but for a baby it is a difficult task. Amother has to feed the baby first, then thebaby learns it by making a number of mis-takes until it becomes natural for the baby.Similarly any task such as typing or driving orlearning or anything else.

And then, what happens once a problem isovercome? You gain experience. You learnsomething from it. You become experiencedor you become familiar with it so that youcan tackle it the next time you face it. On thesecond occasion you won’t have that muchof fear or nervousness about it as you hadon the first occasion. And more over if youhave benefited from that problem then youcan call it an opportunity!

You might have faced the situation unwill-ingly not knowing the benefit of the situa-tion. But once it is over you may wonder how

26 Problems - and how to face them?you have actually been benefited by solvingthe problem or facing the situation boldly.

Now think of the benefit you would havederived if you had considered the situation asan opportunity from the beginning itself ? Youcould have tackled the situation with willing-ness and enthusiasm and obtained more ben-efit than you have obtained by doing it un-willingly. Isn’t it so?

Now we come to the point. A monk said,‘When you see difficulties in ever y opportunity,you are a sad, unproductive person. When yousee an opportunity in every difficulty, then youare a successful and creative person.’

It all depends on how you look at a prob-lem. Your attitude is more important thanthe problem itself.

8Be grateful to your problems

There are some successful people who said,‘I am grateful to my problems. Whenever Isolve a problem, I become stronger andstronger than before. I grew on my problems.

2708 Be grateful to your problems

Rather, I thrive on them!’ Another man said, ‘Icould have achieved nothing without problems;for they toughen my mind.’

When some one asked, ‘What is life?’ SwamiVivekananda answered, ‘Life is the unfold-ing and development of a being under cir-cumstances tending to press it down.’

There is a story of a butterfly, which is verymuch relevant here. ‘One day a small openingappeared on a cocoon. A man who happenedto be nearby watched it with curiosity for sev-eral hours as the butterfly struggled to forceits body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to be making no moreprogress. It appeared as if it had tried as faras it could and it could go no further. So theman decided to help the butterfly. He took apair of scissors and opened the cocoon. Thebutterfly then emerged easily. But it had awithered body and shriveled wings. The mancontinued to watch it because he expectedthat at any moment the wings would openand the butterfly could fly.


Nothing happened! In fact, the butterflyspent the rest of its life crawling around witha withered body and shriveled wings. It couldnever fly.

Nature created the tough cocoon in orderto make the butterfly struggle hard and gainenough strength so that it will have a wellbuilt body and would be able to fly well. Whatthe man, in his kindness and goodwill, didnot understand was that the restricting co-coon and the struggle required for the but-terfly to get through the tiny opening wereGod’s way of forcing the fluids from the bodyof the butterfly into its wings, so that it wouldbe ready for flight once it achieved its free-dom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what weneed in our life. If God allowed us to gothrough our life without any obstacles, itwould cripple us. We would not be as strongas we could have been.’

2909 What is our choice?

9What is our choice?

Now you may ask, if problems are good anduseful, then are we totally dependent on them?Or can we choose them? The answer is ‘yesand no.’ You can choose the battle ground butnot the battle itself. You can’t avoid the battle.But you can choose what the problem can dofor you.

‘What can the problem do for you?’ You maynot be able to control every aspect of the prob-lem. But you can choose your response to it.This choice is all up to you. In other words,‘How are you going to react to it?’

When you control your reaction, you con-trol the effect of the problem on you. Yourreaction is the last word.

If you react positively and not negatively toany problem in life, you can turn your scarsinto stars.

Swami Atulananda, a foreign monk of theRamakrishna Math, said, ‘Nothing has any


value. It is only our reaction that ascribes anyvalue to something. If you don’t react, and ac-cept blame or criticism - then you won’t carrythat reaction with you. The object will have novalue. It cannot touch you.’

10Your attitude to problems

We must understand that every problemholds positive possibilities. Every discovery thatwas made in this world was due to some prob-lem. The solution to that problem led to newdiscoveries that changed the world greatly. Ifeverybody had shrunk from those problems,humanity would have been at its starting pointeven today.

The discovery of penicillin is one examplein this case. The scientist did not anticipate thegrowth of that new fungus in the experiment.Because of that fungus the experiments werebeing spoilt. The scientist without thinking thatit is a nuisance, tried to bring some good outof it. That resulted in the discovery of a life-

3111 'If' thinking and 'How' thinking

saving drug for millions of people. If the scien-tist had simply ignored it and grumbled at theproblem, mankind would have lost a valuabledrug! This is what you call exploring the positivepossibility of a problem!

11‘If’ thinking and ‘How’ thinking

What type of a thinker are you? The If-thinkerbroods over his setbacks and problems. ‘Onlyif I had done like this or that.....’ and so on andwastes a lot of time.

The How-thinker wastes no energy in thepost-mortem of past mistakes. He immediatelystarts thinking - ‘How to solve the problem?There must be a solution.’

If you want to improve the situation dosomething positive. Grumbling about your sur-roundings or the people around you will nothelp.

If you look at life you can see nothing is fair toanybody. Big animals are swallowing the smallones. Strong men are ruling over the weak and


are oppressing them. Nature also is not fair toall. What about natural calamities? Millions andmillions of innocents are affected. Can we blamenature for such setbacks?

By repeatedly saying, ‘Life is not fair’ andshrinking away from problems, ‘you end upbeing not fair to yourself.’

William James, a great thinker, says, ‘the great-est discovery of our times is to know that hu-man beings can alter their lives by altering theirattitudes of mind.’

So please stop ‘IF’ thinking and start ‘HOW’thinking.

12Your approach to problems

If you can approach the problem with en-thusiasm then you face it with more energy andthe encounter will be beneficial to you. I don’tmean you will succeed every time. But surely, Ican say that you will be benefited even if youare defeated. “What is my attitude?” This isthe thing that must be the first and the fore-most in your mind.

3312 Your approach to problems

First of all you must understand that prob-lems arise to make us but not to break us.

Norman Vincent Peal says, ‘A nervous personattacks the problem not in the right spirit which isto forget self and go ahead and do the job in a natu-ral manner. Instead, he works with tense effort -nervousness based largely on fear of personal fail-ure than on a humble desire to serve God.’

All our great people have one thing in com-mon. They get absorbed in the work they aredoing and forget themselves. They are so dedi-cated that they don’t even go to take food. Forthem there is nothing problematic!

There is a story of a scientist, who invitedhis friend for lunch. He made all the arrange-ments and then got immersed in his research.The friend came and found the scientist in hislab. He didn’t want to disturb him. He waitedfor some time and then he finished his foodand because of hunger finished the share ofhis friend’s food also. But the scientist was stillbusy in his work. The friend silently left theplace.


After some time the scientist went to thedining table and found that the plates areempty. He thought, ‘Oh, I have finished myfood long ago!’ and went back to his labora-tory to continue his research!

Vincent Peal says further, ‘Actually all shypeople are egotistical, their thought being pain-fully self-centered. To be healed, the shy per-son must master self-forgetfulness.’

Swami Vivekananda’s ideal of Karma Yogaalso says the same thing. The purpose ofNishkama Karma Yoga is to efface the ego.

Swami Vivekananda says, It is the workerwho is attached to results that grumbles aboutthe nature of the duty which has fallen to hislot.

It is not external things but our thoughtsabout them that bind us or set us free.

Now you may ask, “Is there a situation, wherethere is no problem at all, or a situation whereall the problems are solved?” The same thingis contemplated in the Utopian and the so-called Welfare Societies. (Such a state can never

3512 Your approach to problems

exist!) Schopenhauer said long ago, ‘When menachieve security and welfare, since they havesolved all other problems, they become prob-lems to themselves.’

To give a more precise example, we cancite the rehabilitation projects undertaken bythe Ramakrishna Mission in many parts ofIndia. In some projects the entire work wasdone by the mission and the beneficiarieswere also given some employment so thatthey could stand on their own feet. What wasthe result? To the surprise of all, the benefi-ciaries, not able to know what do with themoney they have earned, fell victim to badhabits like drinking, smoking etc.

Later this methodology was changed. Theyhave been educated about the proper way ofliving and they were involved in the rehabili-tation work also. The results were far betterthis time.

Now let’s come back to our main topic. Atrouble, after all, is a situation that we are notready to tackle. When we make up our minds


to tackle the situation, it ceases to be a trouble.There is a proverb, ‘Hammer shatters glass, butforges steel.’ What a trouble does to you de-pends on what stuff is inside you. Troublescome to make us and not to break us.

Swami Ranganathananda said, ‘Runningaway from problems will not be a solution,for problems will come chasing you.’

Swami Vivekananda gave a interesting illus-tration to this from his own life:

“Once when I was in Varanasi, I was passingthrough a place where there was a large tankof water on one side and a high wall on theother. It was in the grounds where there weremany monkeys. The monkeys of Varanasi arehuge brutes and are sometimes surly. They nowtook it into their heads not to allow me to passthrough their street, so they howled andshrieked and clutched at my feet as I passed.As they pressed closer, I began to run, but thefaster I ran, the faster came the monkeys andthey began to bite at me. It seemed impossibleto escape, but just then I met a stranger who

3713 Enthusiasm

called out to me, ‘Face the brutes!’ I turnedand faced the monkeys, and they fell back andfinally fled. That is a lesson for all life—facethe terrible, face it boldly. Like the monkeys,the hardships of life fall back when we ceaseto flee before them.”

Another thinker said, ‘We do not lift our bur-den by ceasing to work, but by learning how towork.’

The foregoing analysis leads to one conclu-sion, that the successful person always has onequality, i.e., he is full of enthusiasm to face theproblematic situation. Yes! Enthusiasm workswonders. Let us see what it can do for you.

13Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is an attitude of mind whichhelps one to do any work without getting boredand without any strain. Did you ever observechildren when they are playing? How enthusi-astic they are! You can see so much of effer-vescence in them, that any onlooker will alsofeel energetic like them.


It is said that enthusiasm is infectious.In Gita enthusiasm is mentioned as one of the

pre-requisites for a good worker.‘Dhrtyutsaha samanvitah...karta satvika uchyathe’A good worker is one who is endowed

with firmness and enthusiasm.Do you know the etymological meaning of

the word enthusiasm? It means ‘En-theos’, i.e,‘God-within.’ Or in other words, it indicatesthe potential divinity of man that is inherentin him. Very close to Swami Vivekananda’stheory, isn’t it? According to SwamiVivekananda, the manifestation of the hiddendivinity in man is the goal of life. It must bemanifested in every act of our life.

According to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra, cheer-fulness is one of the preliminary requirementsfor practice of the higher disciplines. Cheer-fulness is one of the signs of a good personal-ity. Without it a person is a sick person.

3913 Enthusiasm

Swami Vivekananda also advocates cheerful-ness as one important requisite for spiritual life.He said: The first sign that you are becoming reli-gious is that you are becoming cheerful. When aman is gloomy, that may be dyspepsia, but it is notreligion. A pleasurable feeling is the nature of theSattva. Everything is pleasurable to the Sattvikaman, and when this comes, know that you are pro-gressing in Yoga. All pain is caused by Tamas, soyou must get rid of that; moroseness is one of theresults of Tamas. The strong , the well-knit, theyoung, the healthy, the daring alone are fit to beYogis. To the Yogi everything is bliss, every humanface that he sees brings cheerfulness to him. That isthe sign of a virtuous man. Misery is caused bysin, and by no other cause. What business haveyou with clouded faces? It is terrible. If you have aclouded face, do not go out that day, shut yourselfup in your room. What right have you to carry thisdisease out into the world? When your mind hasbecome controlled, you have control over the wholebody; instead of being a slave to this machine, the


machine becomes your slave. Instead of this ma-chine being able to drag the soul down, it becomes itgreatest helpmate.

Mahatma Gandhi also said, ‘You are not com-pletely dressed, until your face wears a smile.’

So, we have to cultivate the habit of beingcheerful and enthusiastic.

14Advantages of Cheerfulness

We must learn to be quiet and cheerful. Itnot only helps us, it helps others. Suppose aman loses his balance and if you come tohim with a peaceful, quiet mind, you exert aquieting influence on that person and helphim to regain his equilibrium. You can alwaysset a standard. The way you do every thingcan become an example. When you do thingscasually - thinking “Whatever!” “It’s alright!”- it means that you are acting thoughtlesslyand lack an order of spirit. The true art ofperforming action means doing things withpoise and calmness. Our thought can makeus careful or careless.

4115 Don't suffer, struggle

How to achieve this? We can achieve it byputting animation into our daily work. Seek in-spiration in books, friends, art, music, traveletc. Interest is a measure of aliveness.

Doing a work mechanically like a paid coolieis always damaging for the development of agood personality. A person who can turn hisboring work into a work of very interestingnature never comes to failure. He is wantedeverywhere. This type of person never feelsthat he is suffering when doing some hardwork or any thing like that. When you areundergoing a hardship, it is natural to feel thatyou are suffering. But how is it possible notto feel like that and to feel enthusiastic? Thiscan be achieved through constant endeavourand practice.

15Don’t Suffer, Struggle!

There is an opinion that good people alwayssuffer more and bad people avoid suffering bysome bad methods. First of all, the question iswho is good and who is bad? Generally we find


the people of religious temperament undergo-ing endless suffering. But those who are not re-ligious have a nice time in life. Whatever the casemay be, we must accept that bad people alsosuffer. There is no doubt about it. Who is suf-fering more and who is suffering less is a matterof individual opinion.

What is good and what is bad is also a ques-tion that needs to be answered. There is noth-ing absolutely good or absolutely bad in thisworld. What is good for one person is not goodfor another person. For example, Ice creammay be good for a man in good health, but it isharmful for another person with fever and cold.Similarly, what is good in one season is notgood in the other season. This is known to all.

Similarly suffering also differs from personto person. What is suffering? It is an unpleas-ant experience. Since, likes and dislikes varyfrom person to person, suffering also variesfrom person to person. What is suffering toone person is not suffering to another person.


Sportsmen and gymnasts practice hours to-gether enduring great physical strain. Othersmay feel it to be excruciating but those ath-letes do all that happily. Meditation or spiritualpractice turns into a kind of suffering for anordinary worldly person but not for a spiritualaspirant.

If you want to get something, you have topay the price for it. Everything has a price. Theprice need not be in terms of money always. Itcan be hard work - physical or intellectual; orsome effort or some struggle. To pass an ex-amination, how much struggle does a studentundergo? That is the price to be paid for theexamination. But for a person who is not in-terested in achieving anything in life, all theseprices will look like unnecessary troubles andhe may feel that these people who are strug-gling to achieve something are suffering un-necessarily. After all, he is greatly enjoying hislife, doing nothing!

For the struggle to be meaningful, the knowl-edge of how to do a certain thing is necessary.


Suppose a saint and a sinner are playing a gamesuch as chess. Who will win? The person whoknows how to play the game will win. If youargue that the saint must win and the sinnermust lose, then it is not correct. If the saintdoes not know how to play then he has to loosethe game. This has nothing to do with the saint-liness of the person. It is same with otherworldly affairs. If you don’t know a thing, youhave to suffer. Whether you are good or bad isdifferent. Generally the so called good peoplelack many things required for a successful liv-ing. They happen to be impractical, and that iswhy bad things happen to them.

Take the lives of great people who haveachieved many things in their lives. Their livesare full of ups and downs. But the ordinarymen may not have so many ups and downs intheir uneventful lives.Sampado mahataameva mahataameva cha aapadahVardhate ksheeyate chandraha natu taaraagana kvachit

“Prosperity is for great people and set-backsare also for great people only. (Because) Only


the moon grows and decays but the stars donot.”

Great men encounter problems but they arenot scared. Their self-confidence and boldnessmake them endure the ups and downs in lifeand hence they become great. SwamiVivekananda said that the world history is thehistory of a few men who believed in themselves!

But cowards and fools do not attain suchgreatness.

There is a sloka about these impractical people.Sokasthaani sahasraani bhayasthaani sataani chaDivase divase moodham aavisanti na panditam

‘A fool encounters thousands of occasionsof unhappiness and hundreds of occasions offear every day, but not a wise man.’

And then, no man is happy or unhappy allthrough the day. There are happy moments ina day and unhappy moments also. The memoryof a happy event or a success in an issue issufficient for a person to keep himself happy.Do you think I am talking of imaginary happi-


ness? Then what about your unhappiness or wor-ries? They are also imaginations of your mind.Thinking that something bad will happen or hadhappened already, people are unhappy or wor-ried. The antidote for this wrong imagination isjust correct imagination!Yat dhyaayati tat bhavati!(Yat bhaavam tat bhavati)

What you think that you become!If you think of success you will succeed; if

you think of failure, you will fail. If you thinkof happiness you will be happy and if youworry all day, you will become a person full ofworries.

From this analysis we arrive at the conclu-sion that all sufferings or bad things come tous with a purpose. We should learn from themand improve ourselves. Therefore the question,‘Why do bad things happen to us?’ must bechanged to, ‘Where can they lead us?’

Each experience comes to us to teach us theway towards perfection, i.e., towards God. That


is the goal. What happens to us is not impor-tant; what we do with what happens to us ismore important. In other words, how do webenefit with what happens to us is more im-portant. All great persons have experiencedblows and failures in their lives. But they didn’tkeep quiet. They utilized the failure and cameup in life again.

Thomas Alva Edison invented the ElectricBulb. He had to test a thousand filaments be-fore making a successful bulb. Now, whatwould you call that? One thousand failures orone thousand attempts towards success?

In any work - secular or spiritual - unless you doit again and again and struggle while enduring allkinds of troubles, you will not be able to attainperfection.

You will find that misery and happiness areequal factors in the formation of character.Good and evil have an equal share in mould-ing character, and in some cases misery is agreater teacher than happiness.


Swami Vivekananda said: “In studying thegreat characters the world has produced, I daresay, in the vast majority of cases, it would befound that it was misery that taught more thanhappiness, it was poverty that taught more thanwealth, it was blows that brought out their in-ner fire more than praise.”

Saints repeatedly said that the path to God isfilled with difficulties. It is an obstacle race. Weshould not conclude that difficulties are ob-stacles. No! It is a way to God. Moreover, it isa way of God testing the devotee. Whether adevotee is truly devoted to God or not isknown by these tests. Lives of saints are goodexamples for this. Bhakta Mira, BhadrachalaRamadas etc. are well known examples. Aftera great struggle, they got the divine experience.And what happiness they had! It is like havinga meal after being very hungry.

It all depends on how you look at it. It isyour attitude that is important. First of allchange the word Suffer into Struggle. Don’t

4916 Criticism

say that you are suffering, instead, say that youare struggling. Then it becomes meaningful andthe struggle will help you to progress.

When a man is struggling like that, he has toface lot of comments and remarks from oth-ers. It is natural for people to criticize like that.But the listeners are not ready for that! Herewe have to know how to handle criticism.

16Criticism

What is criticism? An uncharitable remarkabout a person or a deed is taken to be criti-cism. There are many aspects of criticism. Allof us expect some compliment when we dosome work or achieve something. It is natural.But we don’t always get compliments. Many atime, we get sarcastic comments from people,which throw us out of balance in a moment.

But it need not be so always. We have to ana-lyse the intention of the person who makesthe comment. Instead of taking the comment


as it is, try to be analytical. It will take the stingout of the remark. Read the following statementmade by a wise man, “A creative man is onewho can lay a firm foundation with the bricksthat others throw at him.”

James Allen says: The injury that comes toyou through others is the rebound of your owndeed, the reflex of your mental attitude.

They are the instruments - You are the cause.Destiny is ripened deeds. Man cannot abro-

gate the effects, but he can alter the causes.The harm which a man sees in the action of

another towards him is not in the act itself, butin his attitude of mind towards it. The injuryand unhappiness are created by himself. The re-ality being that the deed can only injure the doerof it. But however, thinking that he himselfinjured, the man becomes agitated and unhappy.

The righteous man has proved this by the factthat the same act has ceased to rouse in him anydisturbance. It (the act) belongs to a sphere whichhe has ceased to inhabit, to a region of conscious-ness with which he has no longer any affinity.

5116 Criticism

He does not receive the act to himself.The thought of injur y to himself beingabsent.

Other people can contribute to our depres-sion only if we let them. Words and actionsthat we interpret as attacks, often are in realitynot directed towards us at all. Even when theyare, we need to remember that in making suchan attack, people are revealing themselves.

Swami Pavitrananda, a renowned monk ofRamakrishna Math, puts the same idea in thisway: You feel that or this person has hurt you.Why? Because, you are sensitive. If you wereinwardly strong, then you could ignore all thesethings. Just imagine! Permitting your happinessand peace of mind to depend on ‘other man’sbehaviour or word’. Those are nothing more thanwords - weakness of another, ignorance of an-other. And a man of ignorance is an object ofpity and not of anger.

Release comes when we learn to bear what theother person’s problems are, even when he ex-presses them by attacking us. Recognizing those


attacks as his problems frees us to deal with theactual situation and to help him.

There are several ways we can improveour ability to cope with criticisms. Indeed,you can make criticism work for you. Here’show you can respond to criticism withoutlosing your cool and making yourself andothers miserable.

17How to cope with criticism

1. When you are criticized, pause for sometime. Take a deep breath. When you’re understress, you tend to breathe shallowly and rap-idly. If you inhale and exhale deeply, you notonly increase your sense of well-being, but yougain time before answering your critic.

2. Is the criticism really directed at you? Onmany occasions, the comment may not be to-wards us at all. But we project ourselves andexpose our foolishness.

In school class-rooms it is very common. Ifthe teacher scolds the students in an indirect

5317 How to cope with criticism

way without mentioning the name of anybody,the real culprit starts defending himself and isthus caught. It is childish to take the criticismon our head and worry. The next time criti-cism seems misplaced, ask yourself if you’rethe real cause of the other’s wrath. May be yourcritic is really mad about his family problemsor about the increased cost-of-living!

3. Evaluate your critic’s competence. Yourneighbour doesn’t know the difference betweensofa sets and cushion chairs. If he criticizesyour taste in home furnishing, don’t seethe, justshrug. If your boss criticizes your sales report,listen. If he tells you how to raise your chil-dren, his criticism may be worthless. Similarlymissing a scheduled appointment can be justi-fiably criticized, but the colour of your wallscannot be, because, it is a matter of taste.

4. Do not counter attack. It fosters nothingbut ill feelings. It’s hard for some of us to re-sist, but it’s worth the effort. There is a funnystory to illustrate this point.


There was a young couple living in a village.Daily there were quarrels and arguments be-tween them during the meals time. As it wasthe custom, husband takes food first and wifetakes food afterwards. There was no way tofind a solution for their quarrels. At last thewife sought the help of a neighbour, an eld-erly women. She understood the problem andgave her a solution. She gave the lady a smallbottle with some medicine and asked her totake it for some days. The young lady askedthe old women, ‘How to take it and when totake it?’ The elderly women told that ‘This is apeculiar medicine. It should not be taken intothe stomach. Just keep it in the mouth for 20minutes and spit it after some time. The timeis before meals. So it is better to take it justbefore serving your husband.’

If you can guess the trend of this story,congratulations to you. Otherwise continuereading.

The young lady followed the instructions care-fully. The next time when her husband started


some argument during his meals, the wifewanted to give some counter attack. But shecouldn’t, because the medicine is in hermouth. So husband also could not carry onthe argument further. Within a few daysthings improved. Both had some introspec-tion and understood each other. Now theelderly women called the young lady andtold her that she doesn’t require the medi-cine any more.

Now, do you know what the medicine is? It isplain water! She understood that if the younglady can keep quiet for some time, the hus-band will change his attitude. Telling the younglady to keep quiet is of no use. So the elderlywoman played this trick and it worked!

5. Consider your critic’s motives. Some peo-ple think they can raise themselves by pullingothers down. Some people boast of them-selves, while others criticize others. Still someothers do both. Actually Atma Prasamsa (SelfPraise) and Para Ninda (Criticism) are obverseand reverse of the same coin. If you realize


that their criticism often reflects their own fears,it’s easier to remain calm. These people requireour sympathy. It will not help in anyway to in-dulge in exposing them.

Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi says, “Doesany good ever happen to anyone if you enumeratehis faults? It only injures you. Forgiveness isTapasya (austerity)!”

If you can’t forgive, just forget.It is said, ‘We may not be saintly enough to

forgive, but we can forget at least.’If this teaching is too difficult for you, here is

one example. Your neighbour has a very goodflower garden and your garden is not so beauti-ful. Will it add to the beauty of your garden, ifyou take a knife and damage your neighbour’sgarden? Not in the least. Similarly, verbal attackon somebody will not do any help to yourself.

6. Your critics could be right. All your criticswon’t be wrong all the time. If you hear a cer-tain criticism repeatedly, it might be true. And,as Dr. Allan Fromme, a marriage counselor,


says, ‘We are not adults if we cannot face amoment of truth with ourselves.’

Under these circumstances, accept thetruth and thank the critic. Try to improveyourselves. It is said, A match stick has ahead, but it does not have a brain. Therefore,it flares up immediately with little friction.We have brains. So, we should not flare up!

Here is story on how to evaluate criticism. Thisis a story from the life of Abraham Lincoln.Once Lincoln issued orders transferring somearmy units. The war secretary Stanton knew thatit is wrong. He not only refused to transfer thembut commented, ‘Lincoln is a fool!’ WhenLincoln heard this, he didn’t flare up. He said,‘If Stanton says that I a fool, then it may be true.I have never seen Stanton go wrong. Let me talkto him.’ He went to Stanton’s office and talkedto him, realized his mistake and took back hisorders. Taking criticism in a positive spirit is oneof the great characters of Mr. Lincoln.


Swami Yatiswarananda narrated this story:A man filed a suit against another man fordefaming him. The judge asked him whatthe other man had done.

‘He called me a rhinoceros!’ answered the man.‘When?’‘Two years ago!’‘Then, why are you complaining now?’‘Because, I saw the animal only this morning!’You see, the man didn’t feel anything when

abused, but only much later the effect tookplace. What I would like to tell you is, ‘it alldepends on how we take it.’ If the man cankeep quite for two years, he can keep quitelater as well, even after knowing the meaningof the word. Do you accept it or reject it?That is important.

According to Buddha, if we don’t accept athing it remains with the giver. So also withcriticism. If we don’t react, indirectly speak-ing, don’t accept it, it remains with the abuser!

Once again you may say, ‘It is easier saidthan done’. Yes, usually people get depressed

5918 Depression? Bounce up!

when they hear criticisms against them. Buta man of sound character will not get de-pressed like others. He knows how to takecriticism by its horns. Even if he is de-pressed, it is only for a short period. He willcome up soon. How is it possible?

18Depression? Bounce up!

Have you ever seen a ball jumping? Yes, whatis the specialty in it? It teaches us a lesson.There is a Sanskrit verse:Paatitopi karaaghaataih utpatatyeva kandukahaPraayenahi suvrutteenam asthaayinyoh vipattayah

‘A rubber ball rises when it is hit against theground. In the same way, for good people, dan-gers (set-backs) are not permanent.’

Swami Vivekananda also said, ‘True great-ness consists not in rising but in rising every timewe fall.’ In contrast, compare the fall of a clayball. What happens? It never rises. Success-ful people are like rubber balls who canbounce back after setbacks.


What happens to you is not important, but“what you do with what happened to you” ismore important.

When you see some people, you wonder whatkeeps them always so energetic and active. Whenthese people work, it is a sight to see. They ar-range their work in such a way that it all looksso easy. It all depends on how you arrange yourwork. Suppose there are some books on yourtable. If they are all heaped together, can youpick any of them at your will? No. It will bevery difficult. But if you arrange them in someorderly fashion, you not only can find them easilybut there will be room enough for some morearticles. If such is the case with a few books, then,what to speak of multiple articles which youhandle daily.

The same principle can be applied to time-management too. You have 24 hours in a day.It is the same for everyone. But some peoplehave plenty of time to do many works, where assome find it always difficult to find time even tolook after themselves. Where is the problem? It

6119 Despair

all depends on how you organize your day. Inother words you have to organize yourselves,that means, you have to organize your thoughts,first.

Swami Paramananda, a monk who was de-puted by Swami Vivekananda to America tocontinue his work, says, “Be at peace with your-self. So long as we are at war with ourselves, we can-not better ourselves. The only way to improve oursteadiness and our devotion to our ideal is to so orderand organize our feelings and thoughts that they cannever overcome us.”

Abraham Lincoln said, ‘It is difficult to make aman miserable while he feels he is worthy of himselfand claims kindred to the great God who made him’.

But when we feel unworthy, it is difficult notto feel miserable.

19Despair

This despairing view of one’s own self oftenstems from childhood when we really weresmaller, weaker and less skillful than thosearound us. Later, if we look closely, we may find


that we have not lived up to our own expecta-tions or our parents’ expectations of us. Orperhaps we have set our own standards too high.In either case, humility and laughter are thegreatest antidotes. Feelings of unworthiness canactually be laughed away by anyone who iscourageous enough to smile even a little at him-self.

Now, with an understanding of the dynamicsof depression, you should pray also for an in-sight into the emotion you may be burying orgiving into. Pray for an awareness of beingforgiven. Pray for a group or a friend to whomyou can turn to express your deepest emotions.

And finally, remember that we areexpected to think highly of ourselves. Properself-esteem is a million miles away from con-ceit and selfishness. It is giving ourselvesthe same reverence and respect we feel forall of God’s creation, and for the same reason:‘Because He made us and values us.’

6319 DespairIn many cases a failure can cause depression.

We must understand that even great people‘tasted’ failure many times in their lives!

If you can sit down and think very clearlyabout failure, if you realize that you are aperson who always has choices, you will havemastered an invaluable lesson. Why do smartpeople fail? They can fail for many reasons.But failure is not the point - the best ofpeople experience that. It is learning fromthat failure, that is special. The distinguishingcharacteristic about really smart people? Theylearn.

Bernard Shaw said, ‘A life spent in makingmistakes is not only more honorable butmore useful than a life spent doing nothing.’

If success is only one step away, will thatbe adjudged a failure? No. Is one undauntedby failure? Does one possess a will andcourage that will never bend before diffi-culties? This is important.

There is a sloka to this effect. (In fact, thereare slokas in sanskrit for every occasion in life.)


Kadarthitasyaapi cha dhairya vritteBuddhervinaaso nahi shankaneeyahaAthah kritasyaapi tanoona paadahaNa athah sikhaayaati kadaachideva‘The flame of fire never goes downwards even

if it is held upside down; Similarly the man ofstrong character and will-power will never bedaunted nor even thwarted.’

We are fascinated to see and use the finishedproducts of man’s achievements like Television,Car, Computer etc. without knowing the pain-ful process by which these miracles came intobeing. We should know that virtually nothingcomes out right at the first attempt itself.

20Don’t Worry! Be Merry!

One more aspect of depression is the habitof worrying. This is brooding over the past,without trying positively to improve the situa-tion. But if we analyze properly, most of ourworries are self created, or in other words, they

6520 Don't Worry, Be Merry!

are dependant on our imagination. It is told inone English poem:

‘All our joys are in our imaginationAll our sorrows are in our apprehensionThough life does not tally with his fantasiesMan always worries about his future’How true it is! By learning to think properly,

this habit of worrying can be rectified. Thereare so many techniques to get rid of this habit.For example, try to recollect what you have wor-ried about a few days back. In most cases, youwon’t even remember what you were worryingabout! If you can remember, it is very nice. Nowcompare the present state of that conditionwhich was worrying you. I can assure that, theproblem might have been over for good. Andyou will be thinking about some other prob-lems now. So, what is the use of worrying somuch about a situation which is not worthy ofremembrance?

There is a sloka in this connection, which com-pares worry with a funeral pyre!


Chitaayascha chintaayaaschabindumaatra viseshatahaChitaa dahati nirjeevamchintaa dahati jeevataha

The difference between worry (cinta) and fu-neral pyre (cita) in Sanskrit is one dot only i.e,the letter anusvara is the difference. Whereasfuneral pyre kills a man when he is without life,worry kills a man even while he is alive!

You see, how true it is. Prolonged worry cancause ulcers, nervous tension, blood pressureand a host of many diseases. It is a well knownfact that these diseases are all slow killers. Thisis the meaning implied by the above sloka.

Here is a quote I saw somewhere: ‘Today isthe tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.’

It may not be true for certain types of wor-ries, which take a longer time to settle. Theyhave to be tackled systematically and analyti-cally. But most of our so called worries are thecreations of our own mental attitude and think-ing. Change the way you think, the worry nolonger exists!

6720 Don't Worry, Be Merry!

In most cases we are too concerned with whatpeople will think about us. The fact is that mostpeople never observe us as closely and as criti-cally as we believe.

The one characteristic of the people who beatthis habit of depression and worry is that theyhave the sense of humour in them to the fullextent. That helps them to overcome these ob-stacles. The greatest successes in life are to thosefortunate few, who accept responsibility for theirmistakes, as well as for their accomplishments.

John D Rockefeller Jr. recalled about his fa-ther, ‘Never did I hear him utter a single wordof regret. With him what has happened couldnot be helped. How to repair the damage, howto rebuild, how to turn the apparent defeat intovictory - this was his immediate concern through-out his life.’

One of the first things to realize is that ac-complishment follows a natural course of trialand error. To admit one’s own mistakes takes asense of humour, and this wisdom too fre-quently does not come until late in life. The


earlier we accept and forget our mistakes, thebetter for us.

In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, ‘Fin-ish each day and be done with it. You havedone what you could. Some blunders and ab-surdities no doubt have crept in; forget them assoon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. Beginit well and with too high a spirit to be cumberedwith your old nonsense.’

We shall now discuss this sense of humour, aquality much needed in a world of much ten-sion and confusion.

21Sense of Humour

‘Take two joke-pills and call me in the morn-ing!’ That is the prescription of many physiciansand psychologists who believe you can laugh yourway to health. Today’s healers offer succinct ad-vice: ‘Don’t take your life too seriously; it is tem-porary.’

There are occasions, some situations, whereyou cannot decide what to tell or how to react

6921 Sence of humour

to the situation. Under these circumstances,taking things in a humorous way can save thesituation.

There is, however, a warning! ‘Beware: Hu-mour may be dangerous to your illness!’ Theillness humour can immediately cure may bemental, but eventually it will heal most of yourphysical illnesses also. Because, now it is an es-tablished fact that mental health and physicalhealth are inter-connected. In many cases, it isthe mind that controls the body.

For every event there is a lighter side. We failto look at it. But if we can look at the lighterside, many problems won’t arise at all. Thingswill be eased out. On many occasions, a wittyanswer would be better than a serious explana-tive answer.

All of us know Abraham Lincoln. He wastaller than the average American. Once some-body wanted to tease him. He asked Lincoln,‘Sir! What should be the correct length of theleg of a man?’ ‘From waist to floor!’ answered


Lincoln. This silenced the questioner. This is oneexample of a great sense of humour.

Swami Vivekananda also had to face similarsituations in America. There were many miscon-ceptions about India in that country due to thepropaganda of Christian Missionaries there. Hewas asked by someone, ‘Why do mothers throwbabies to crocodiles in your country?’ SwamiVivekananda answered, ‘Because it is easier forthem to chew!’

You see, there can be no use arguing undersuch circumstances. Looking at the humor-ous side of the situation is very useful onmany such occasions.

Aristotle noted that, ‘A society which cannotlaugh at itself cannot be said to be in good health.’Benjamin Franklin, in Poor Richard’s Almanac,offered hilarious wisdom. An example: Mary’smouth cost her nothing, for she never opens it but atthe expense of others. Throughout the ages, thesavants have known that a smile costs nothingbut gives much.

7122 Will-power

For all the qualities discussed so far, one uniquepower is required as a back ground, as a bedrock. That is will-power. It is the power whichmakes you achieve what you want in life andhelps you to find a remedy for the tragedies youencounter in life. Without will-power the otherqualities cannot be developed. It is like the back-bone of a being.

22Will-Power

For all the stories of successes and failures inpeoples’ lives, there are different reasons. But inevery successful man’s life one factor is inevitablycommon and that is will power. The amount ofsuccess a man achieves in his life can be gaugedby the amount of will-power he cultivated.

Thus, the question “How to develop will-power?” becomes a very important questionin everybody’s life. Proper training to developthis will-power should be a part and parcel ofour educational system right from the child-hood. Otherwise our education remains largely


irrelevant. If, unfortunately, the idea of cultivat-ing will-power has not been taught from ourchildhood, then we have to learn it now, what-ever may be our age or condition. Because with-out exercising will-power it is impossible to de-velop our personality and individuality. On theother side, if we have will-power, then even ifwe lose everything else, it is perfectly possibleto raise from a completely hopeless conditionand achieve success in our individual and sociallives. If a man has will-power then he will beable to make everything from scratch. If he lackswill-power then all his abilities will turn out tobe useless.

By the above analysis we can conclude thatthe failure of our will-power is responsiblefor the tragedies which occur daily in ourlife. Many of us do not know what goodness,strength and greatness are innate in us andwe do not understand how they are tryingto manifest themselves. We only know aboutour weaknesses. So it is important to under-

7322 Will-power

stand how not to let our will-power fail. Toensure that, the only way is to cultivate it!

What is will-power? Swami Vivekanandateaches that the will is a combination of the mindand the atman. He says, ‘This will is caused bycharacter and character is manufactured by Karmaor Work. As is the karma, so is the manifestationof will.’

Every man has some amount of will-power.There is no doubt about it. But it varies fromindividual to individual.

We develop will-power by the way we work(i.e do our karma). Karma requires disciplineand discipline increases the will-power. Canan undisciplined person do any serious work?When we utter the word ‘discipline’, peoplefrown as if it is something unwanted. Be-cause generally discipline is imposed onsomeone by somebody else. It may be nec-essary when a person is too young to un-derstand the world. But as he grows he mustbe able to discipline himself. It is known asself-discipline.


Take for example the case of a mighty river; itflows with full vigour, occasionally causing dam-age to the human habitations along its bank. Ifthe power of the river is to be utilized for someuseful purpose, then there must be a dam andmachinery to convert the tamed power of theriver into electricity etc. This may look like con-trolling the freedom of the river; but see theadvantage of controlled use of the power ofthe river.

Similarly, the power of the youth must be uti-lised by channelizing it by proper means. This isknown as discipline. Indisciplined youth-powerboth at individual and social levels is destruc-tive, whereas the disciplined youth-power isuseful in many ways.

Swami Vivekananda was mainly concernedabout how young students can discipline theirlives? He has addressed many a lecture to theyouth of India. He told, ‘Take the whole re-sponsibility on your own shoulders and knowthat you are the creators of your own destiny.All the strength and succour you want is withinyourselves.’

7522 Will-power

Once you know the whole responsibility is onyou, then you cannot behave irresponsibly, i.e.in an indisciplined way. A bus owner will not setfire to his own bus! But students do so because,they don’t feel the responsibility. We see howpeople destroy the government property dur-ing strikes etc. People do not understand thatthose properties were created from the verytaxes which they themselves paid. If they un-derstand that, then they would not behave thus.

Now, where does this discipline start? It startsat home. Parents must discipline their childrenfirst. It continues in schools and then colleges.When a man completes his education, thenwho is there to discipline him? He has to dis-cipline himself. It is known as self-discipline.In Ramayana, when Sita was kept in AshokaVana, who protected her?

Rakshitaam svena seelena‘She was protected by her own character.’The well established good character of a man

which is cultivated from self-discipline will pro-tect him through his life.


Like any other quality, will-power also can bedeveloped by proper methods and practice. Byfollowing simple exercises one can increase hiswill-power gradually. By loving what we oughtto do we can develop will-power.

In our country, we can see women can enduremore shocks and blows than men. I have seenmany examples, where a family bereavement hasthrown the father out of balance for manymonths, whereas the mother came round aftera few days of wailing and lamenting!

What is the reason behind this phenomena?Generally it is the women-folk who undertake

religious fasting and observe vows meticulously.But men very rarely undergo these things. Thesepractices are the reasons behind the strength ofwomen. It requires some strength of mind tocontrol the passions and emotions. Ladies de-velop this by practising vratas (austerities)regularly. However, these can be practised byeverybody.

7723 How to develop will-power

23How to develop will-power

First, start with simple exercises.1. Weekly, one day, skip one meal. Instead, take

some substitute in the beginning. Later on, thissubstitute also should be stopped.

2. Once in an week, practise silence for half aday. Spend the time in reading or meditating, ifyou are habituated to meditation. Avoid unnec-essary thinking too. Self-talk amounts to talking.Don’t sleep away the time. It is not silence!

I remember one incident. Once at a party, onemulti-linguist who knew 14 languages, kept si-lent without making any comment or talking.All the others chit-chatted and gossiped to theirheart’s content. At the end one mancomplimented: ‘Our friend practised silence in14 languages!’ When it is so difficult for a manwho knows only one language to keep quiet,imagine what a feat it is to keep silent knowingso many languages.


3. Once a week skip taking tea or coffee if youhave the habit. But don’t resort to another badhabit to keep up this practice. For example, ifyou go to a cinema in order to skip a meal or topractise silence, it is a very bad idea!

You can take the help of your friends who areinterested in your welfare. Without their help itmay be difficult to achieve the goal single-handedly. Beware! Not all are friends. They maydisturb your vow!

Moreover, eagerly await the day of practice!Prepare the mind from the day before, so thatyou will find it easy to control the mind. Andonce you have kept the vow complimentyourself with some treat. I am not joking! It willwork.

Our mind is like a child, we have to cajoleit into obedience. The mind is like a whitecloth. The white cloth can take whatever col-our it is dipped in. Similarly mind also cantake suggestions and ideas. By giving goodand strong ideas we can nourish it well andmake it stronger.


All these things indicate some extent of disci-pline - self-discipline - which will lead to self-confidence. This self-confidence is the watchword to success.

Swami Vivekananda taught this to us in a sloka.You must be able to recite it by heart,Kim naama rodishi sakhe tvayi sarva shaktihiAamanthra yasva bhagavan bhagadam svaroopamTrilokyametadakhilam tava paada mooleAatmaivahi prabhavati na jadah kadaachit

“Oh, my friend! Why are you weeping?All the power is within you. Call forth yourown nature, which is noble. The threeworlds are lying at your feet. (Why?) It isthe Atman alone which abides, never theinert thing called the body.”

All the setbacks belong to the physical planeonly. They are temporary. In reality, in theplane of the Spirit it is the divinity which isever manifesting its glory. It is like the sunobscured by clouds for a short while. Aftersome time when the clouds move away, the


sun shines in its own glory. In our case also,these obstacles may block our progress tem-porarily but not for ever. Keeping this inmind one should strive his utmost forcoming up in life.

Now you can try these exercises also. Theseare little advanced exercises. But certainly theywill increase your will-power.1. Attempt the impossible

First of all there is nothing that is impossible.It may take a long time and tremendous effortto achieve. What seems to be impossible in oneway of thinking and approach may be possiblein another way of thinking and approach. Forthis one may think in different ways and mustapply varieties of approaches. Or he has to takethe help of some other people who can thinkdifferently. Usually, people are bound to thinkin a dogmatic way. But there are some who canthink differently and they call the shots in life.

There is a story in the life of Jawaharlal Nehru.When Nehru was a small boy, he was playing a


game of ball with his friends. Suddenly the ballfell in to a deep hole in the ground. Every onetried to take the ball out by using sticks, ropesetc but failed. Suddenly Nehru got a brilliantidea. He brought a bucket full of water andpoured it in the hole. The ball came out floatingto the great joy of his friends!2. Do without the indispensable

There is nothing indispensable in this world.We are habituated to depend on something oron someone and think that the particular itemor person is indispensable. Swami Vivekanandasaid, ‘The world is not waiting for you and me.’

Nature finds out its own replacement for eve-rything and everyone. It is all our imaginationthat we feel we are indispensable. First shatterthis cell of imagination and come out of it tosee the reality. Not only that, trying to comeout of the confused thinking may open newavenues to explore and which in turn may en-rich our life.


3. Bear the unbearable,Tolerate the intolerable

Responsibility is like a weight kept on ourshoulder. We have to bear it.

Kalidasa said in Sakuntalam,Raajyam svahasta dhrita dandamiva Aatapatram‘The kingdom is like an umbrella kept in ones

own hand.’An umbrella protects us from rain and sun.

That is the benefit we get from it. But we haveto bear the weight to get the benefit. Similarlywith responsibilities also. You will get the ben-efit only when you bear the responsibility. Thosewho want to be free from the burden cannot beresponsible for anything. They are not wantedany where in the world.

We have to tolerate the behaviour of manypeople when we are working in a group. Lead-ing a group is not trivial. Tolerance is the realtest of leadership.

Swami Vivekananda says in one place, ‘Can aleader be made, my brother? A leader is born.


Do you understand? And it is a very difficulttask to take on the role of a leader. Onemust be a servant of servants, and must ac-commodate a thousand minds. There must notbe a shade of jealousy or selfishness, then youare a leader!’

If you want to achieve anything substantially,working in a group and team work is neces-sary and it requires leaders. But what aboutfollowers? If there is no follower, whom to lead?It is necessary for a follower to be a true fol-lower to accomplish the task. A follower wholikes to follow his own course is no good in agroup. The group may be a family or an officeor a football team. It need not be a big organi-sation always.4. Keep on trying

when the time is tryingMany people try for some time and then leave

it with depressed mind or with lame excusesfor their failures, or blame every one else andmaintain that they are alright. But it is not cor-


rect. Have you tried your utmost? There is astory narrated by Swami Vireswarananda, thetenth president of Ramakrishna Math &Ramakrishna Mission.

Once there was a ship sailing in the high seas.A young boy accidentally fell into the sea fromthe deck. He knew swimming. So he was strug-gling to swim and kept himself afloat. But therewas no help. Though he got exhausted, he wastrying to swim and kept himself floating. At lastwhen he was about to sink, a life-boat was low-ered and the boy was saved. If the boy had notstruggled, or given up his struggle, he wouldhave drowned. So you see, it is necessary to keepon struggling even if there is no sign of successin sight.

One more thing necessary for developingwill-power is the positive outlook in life. Itgoes hand in hand with the most often quoted‘Atmaviswasa’ or ‘Self-confidence’ of SwamiVivekananda. The man who has faith in him-self, has tremendous will-power already. Allnegative thoughts should be discarded daily


and the mind should be given newer andnewer positive and encouraging ideas. Eachdisappointment is a filling station to renewyour energy.5. Now, here is a dose to try

for the religious mindedSri J.P. Vasvani said, ‘Do the best you can and

then surrender your problems to God; He is yoursenior partner!’

There is a story about taking the help of God.There was a little boy who was having diffi-

culty lifting a heavy stone. His father came alongjust then and noting the boy’s failure, asked him,“Are you using all your strength?” “Yes, I am!”the boy exclaimed impatiently. “No, you arenot,” the father answered; “I am right here wait-ing, and you haven’t asked me to help you!”

Sometimes when we are faced with a situationthat seems unsolvable or a burden too heavyfor us to carry, we might ask ourselves, are weusing all our strength? God too, is waiting tohelp us.


It is our folly to depend too much on our ownstrength. We must be able to take the help ofsomebody who can really help. Who said thatwe must do everything ourselves and withoutthe help of others? Are we not going to doctorfor treatment? But of course, whom to ask is aquestion of wisdom.

Swami Vivekananda composed a sloka aboutthe strength felt by the followers of SriRamakrishna.

Kurvastaaraka charvanamtribhuvanam utpaatayaamo balaatKimbho na vijaanaasi asmaanramakrishna daasavayamWe can make the stars into powder, and we

are strong enough to uproot the three worlds!Don’t you know who we are? We are the serv-ants of Ramakrishna!

Even in Bible there are sayings to this effect:‘If God be for me, who shall be against me?’ ‘Ishall do everything through God who strengthensme.’

8724 Conclusion

24Conclusion

Swami Vivekananda said, ‘The road to theGood is the roughest and steepest in theunivers e . I t i s a wonder that so manysucceed, no wonder that so many fall. Char-acter has to be established through a thou-sand stumbles.’

By constantly striving to gain control over him-self, a man gains a knowledge of the subtle in-tricacies of his mind; and it is this divine knowl-edge which enables him to become establishedin calmness. Without this knowledge there canbe no abiding peace of mind, and those whoare carried away by tempestuous passions,cannot approach the holy place where calmnessreigns. The weak man is like one who, havingmounted a fiery steed allows it to run away andcarry him whither so ever it wills; the strong manis like one who, having mounted the steed,governs it with a masterly hand; and makes it

88 Problems - and how to face them?go in whatever direction and whatever speed hecommands.

Calmness is the crowning beauty of a charac-ter that has become or becoming divine, and isrestful and peace-giving to all who come incontact with it. Those who are still in weaknessand doubt, find the presence of a calm mindrestful to their troubled minds, inspiring to theirfaltering feet, and rich with healing and comfortin their hour of sorrow.

Therefore, take charge of yourselves: YOUcan become the driver of yourself.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Documents

PROBLEMS - Sri Ramakrishna Seva Samithi, Bapatla · lems’, Revered Swami Aksharatmanandaji Maharaj (President, Sri Ramakrishna Math, Rajahmundry) delivered the key-note address