Spring ‘13

Press Gang A Journey into Literature

Spring ‘13

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Disney's Ancient Secret

Brian Dean

Disney Dizzy Vertigo Vertical Tickle. Dizzy Vertigo Vertical Tickle Di z Ve tig V tic l Ti k e D z V i V c l T k D i c k Dick Charles Dickens Oliver Twist "Please sir, I want some more." Ariel in The Little Mermaid "wants more" than her material possessions. Mermaids in greek lore are also known as sirens. Siren Alarm Alarms can be really good metronomes. Metro nom, or in french, the name of train. One such name being Chateau de Vincennes Beauty and the Beast takes place in a large chateau or castle. Castle removing the L, Adding an H Chaste Prince Charming did more than just kiss Sleeping Beauty. He took her apple, if you get what I mean. Apple Macintosh Computers No shares, No viruses, No worries. Timon and Pumba sing away their worries in The Jungle Book. Hakuna Matata The phrase more commonly used in Zanzibar, Tanzania, and Kenya Kenya A country in East Africa The east Asia China Mulan Eddie Murphy Also the Donkey from Shrek Shrek is an ogre Ogres are violent creatures that use weapons like clubs, axes, and spears. Spear Speare

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Which leads to my conclusion S iren H that was added to castle A pple K enya E ddie Murphy S peare P E A R E The mastermind behind Disney is the one and only Shakespeare. (applause) Thank you. Thank you.

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Overheard: Meeting Minutes

Michelle Osoria

I don't know what that really means. I bet that was frustrating. That was not one of them. What good things happened? She wrote the proposal over Christmas. Whose going to pay for it? They're keeping the liability. OK.OK.OK. This year we already have eleven trainings on the calendar. Train the trainer. Department of Health. Prenatal plus. OK.OK.OK. Four kids under five living in an RV with no electricity. There's a nine year old defecating in his pants. Schizo with a three year old. This couple both doing meth-the mother didn't even realize she was holding the baby. Children abused are now the grownups. Trauma informed infant mental health. OK.OK.OK

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Conversations overheard in the corner of Fermentation Lounge on a Thursday Night

Kathryn Mazzotta

Sangria, red, two glasses I need to see two IDs Man, I'm three days away from thirty I'm four years past that. Life is some kind of bitch, ain't it? I still need that second ID She's on her way back from the bathroom now. Florida The Sunshine State Driver License Class E Harold Edward Lee 1767 Delaney Road Orlando,FL, 32809-6874 DOB 07-24-1978 SEX M HGT 5-10 ISSUED 11-19-2007 expires 07-24-14 Organ donor Safe driver I plan to kill my liver tonight I found this under my chair Thanks-- poor bastard named Harold I'd kill my mother if she named me that Surgeon General Warning: not recommended for pregnant women I thought I was pregnant Did you use those dollar store test strips again? They're all the same thing.

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On My Desk Anders M. Svenning

One half-page paper full of jumbled words. A half cup of coffee. Two half burned candles in two candleholders—red and electric blue. The off-setting sunlight. What’s burned in my eyes.

Words.

The electric socket I can’t quite get fix. My color. My change. My sinusssses. Two unread novels— The Jungle Book, Because of Win Dixie—a case of AAA batteries, and my girlfriend’s

vibrator.

Laughter, pungent weed, elastic bands, remote controls, teddy bears with exquisite outward luster because of their googly eyes and their matted fur and their paws, report cards, dust, blank checks, and an empty wallet, outside the pictures and those gift cards, two bucks actually, they’ll be worth nothing here in a couple years, we’ll use cash money as our wallpaper. Toilet paper, rolling paper, paper paper. We’ll write on Abraham’s face—John Wilkes Booth didn’t think twice about fucking it up. Words, lots of words. The cat. The ball. Her purse, the lady who knew me. And her balls. Her tightrope, her unicycle, her big thumbs, her face paint, her big shoes, and her big red wig. It’s a fucking circus in here, and I’m juggling the notion: The words that we chose, To the bottle we rose, ‘Till the sea and this desk at my wrists are as one.

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Ultraviolet Light Devon Constantine

All electromagnetic radiation consists of energetic waves that we define by their wavelengths. Waves that are in the range of visible light, and longer are benign when they interact with organic molecules. However, waves of shorter length than visible light, being inherently more energetic, have the potential to disrupt organic molecules.

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Uncreative Writing Jessica Young

Wait! I want a real title! MLA heading. MLA heading. But get the MLA stuff, a title, and some black ink. Name #. Name #. Name #. Goal revisions. Still doesn't take many risks or go anywhere unexpected. Like the last one, it doesn't take any risks.Try to push yourself with the next one- the memoir. How about starting by asking Siri a question? Start by listing the features that you want to address then arranging in order of importance. I think this needs addressing. I'm glad you addressed this! This has nothing to do specifically with the 4s though right? And why a 4s review when the iphone 5 is already out? Too much about camera in opening paragraph. Give it its own paragraph. Belongs with camera. Not a complete sentence. Spelling? This can be a hurdle. I've experienced this odd feeling. Me too. Chp. 10 Quite the range! But strong well organized writing. This is a well written "Straight" review. Well put. Nice capture of the language you did here! Nice, no nonsense ending. Good word choice! Good context. Good description. Good reccommendations. This is good, but needs better organization This is great. How about a hook? Great hook. Great pacing here. The whole thing is a great example of dialogue, pacing, setting, etc. Great job! Excellent job on this! Go dad! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Yes! Love this part! Love this! I love-as I'm sure the rest of the class did- the image at the end. the A-. A. A.

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US Preparing for Possible Further North Korea Actions Alexa Palmero

The guy next to me is the North Korea of the never ending battle for the shared armrest. Even China wants North Korea to chill out. If we go to war with North Korea I blame Dennis Rodman. I'm more afraid of North Dakota than I am North Korea. Remember what North Korea did at Pearl Harbor? No? I knew I should have paid more attention in History class. North Korea, eat a Snickers. You get a little nuclear terroristic when you're hungry. It's been a couple days since we've heard any crazy from North Korea or Justin Bieber. Have they teamed up? We treat North Korea like a younger sibling we gave an unconnected controller to so they could bang on the buttons while we played. *North Korea drops nuclear bomb* White girl: *tries to take instagram picture of the explosion* they’re evil, perhaps, but ha-ha evil.

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Cross-Stitched Quotes

Zachary Gilmore

Do you think we choose the times into which we are born? Molded by it That man’s playing Galaga Or do we fit the times we are born into? Gentlemen, you had my curiosity Thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did Now they don't eat coconut anymore. But now you have my attention You merely adopted the dark, I was born in it Now, they only eat rat.

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Uncreative Writing

Erika Lane

There were five students with nothing in common, faced with spending a Saturday afternoon detention together in their high school library. At 7 a.m., they had nothing to say, but by 4 p.m., they had bared their souls to each other and become good friends. John Hughs, creator of the critically acclaimed Sixteen Candles, wrote, directed, and produced this hilarious and often touching comedy starring Emilio Estavez, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Ally Sheedy. To the outside world they were simply the Jock, the Brain, the Criminal, the Princess, and the Kook, but to each other, they would always be The Breakfast Club.

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The Road Not Taken Uncreatively

Ryan Dees

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could And sorry I could not travel both To where it bent in the undergrowth. Then took the other, as just as fair, Because it was grassy and wanted wear, Though as for that the passing there And having perhaps the better claim Had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay Oh, I marked the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way In leaves no step had trodden black. I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, Somewhere ages and ages hence: And that has made all the difference.

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