Welcome…to a TERRIBLE

tale!

This is the part where I get to laugh.

terrible, right?

What makes it so terrible?

Because this particular tale

answers the terribly terrible question…

What happens to Piggies that fail to live…and then fail

to DIE!?!?!?!?!

So terrible that other

terrible tales look at this

particular tale and say “Oh, wow! You

are TERRIBLE.”

Oh wait, sorry.

Laughing comes after.

PRESENTS A HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR…

tm

AB 13-034

I’m work-shopping it.

Name’s a little long.

Corporal…I give you THE CURRENTLY-

DEAD-BUT-SOON-TO-BE-ALIVE-STITCHY PIG!

Kinda cool.

Gross.

Weird.

I’ve been bored.

Sounds like it.

My recent experiments

have involved stitching a bunch

of dead pigs together to make a super-pig that will bow to my every command!

I have been thinking…and I may have a solution to your labor problems!

You think?

This seems unproductive,

Corporal.

I’m straight up lazy.

I’ve got a tennis match!

But I’m late for

choir practice!

Chef Pig needs these

pumpkins to make the King’s pies!

With laziness.

C’mon, ya worthless

Minions! Whip into shape!

Our story begins as

most tales do.

Soon!

But a PIG ZOMBIE?

A zombie is a creature that

comes back from the dead, hungry

for brains.

…would result in a VERY

BAD THING.

...He didn’t realize that running all of the castle’s electricity

through a wire via the cemetery…

Because as smart as Professor Frankenswine thought himself to be...

So, this is where a not-good

thing happened.

LIFE!

Let us create--

The King’s pumpkins, Corporal! Think of the pumpkins!

Wait, who gave you permission to use all of the pow-

To animate him, I need ALL of the castle’s power,

so I’ve been hoping for a valid reason to turn him on. Your

heavy pumpkins are the PERFECT excuse!

Seems specific.

He’ll have the strength of

eighty-one pigs!

wha?

eh?

uh?

But eventually…

This took a little while.

“They’re hunting.”

Oh, they’re not lazy at all, Corporal…

I mean you’re right,

but still.

Hey!

Great. They’re just as lazy as the live minions.

Instead of just one mindless creature, I’ve

reanimated a bunch of Minion pigs!

I mean…aha! I am a genius!

What in the…

Professor, look!

It’s like there wasn’t

enough power…?

Hrm, that really

should’ve worked.

They’re only interested in

BRainz?Nah, Eggz!

oh Yeah, Eggz

Hit ‘em or something.

Form…Kappa Delta…Mbmbam Point…Nine…!

Formation Beta Zeta Bing-Bang Twelve!

We didn’t do much.

Um.

Great work, everybody!

That’ll teach-Nice!

Yeah boy!

Ready?

Piggie Attack Vee! Formation

thirty-size alpha quad seven!

Who say what…?

lots and lots of Piggies!

Loads of Piggies!Piggies!

Well done, my rotting non-alive Piggies!

The King will be so pleased!

Never send a live Pig to do what a dead Pig can do better, I guess.

They got the eggs!

Well I’ll be.

Let me see!

oh boy, oh boy, oh boyyyyyyyy!

I mean…they didn’t

exactly cover their

tracks…

They, uh…

Now we scour every last inch of this island. There’s

no telling where they-

What now, Red?

Aw no!

They’re gone!

The Pigs! The EGGS!

Let’s…we’ll rest a

couple minutes, then fight

againnnzzz...

They’re (gasp) gonna get

(gulp) tired any s-second now…

I (pant) get the (wheeze)

impression they’re not stopping…

Hours later…

I mean of course it worked!

It worked?

Oh my! What’s-

Whoa!Okay, Birds. We know it’s gonna

be a war, but we’ve got to get those eggs b-

Electricity shocked them awake, so just

maaaaybe…

The machine!

Do something! That’s an order!

What an horrible

existence, to be so obsessed

with eggs.

If they eat the eggs, the

King’ll kill us!

Ohhhhhhhh that’s right.

They’re mindless…

What are they doing!?!?

Ummmmmm…

mmmm, pie!

Weirdoes.

Someone save us!

Run!

“Piplang”?

B-b-but this w-was just a s-s-story!

Chronicler Pig, move your hide!

Now off you go, I’m off to enjoy some

delicious pumpkin-

A terrible tale I promised, and a terrible tale did you

receive!

And there you have it,

dear reader!

snrf snrf…hey, you smell

something cooking?

HELLLLLLP!!!

Monsters have unique

tastes!

He wants to eat us!?

oh this is so un-good...

What do you want!?

Professor!

Bet the King’ll want to make a statue

of my likeness. I’d look good as copper,

better in platinum…

Uh, Professor…

Who single-handedly created and destroyed the zombie

pigs, who brought the eggs right to us?

This guy!

Professor?

I am so totally a genius!

Tell him that!

the end