Presenter: Allen Lipscomb, MA, LCSW

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Presenter:

Allen Lipscomb, MA, LCSW


Objectives:

• To define/Identify ego & ego-strength

• To gain & understand how the ego is built and strengthen

• To examine the ego as it relates to self-esteem and self-concept.

• To reflect on how your ego was formed

• To identify strengths in the child.


Why Focus on Black Children?

• The largest high school dropout rate.

• The largest SIDS rate• The largest raised in single parent

households• The largest incarceration rate• The largest teen pregnancy rate• The largest in out-of-home

care/placement• The largest in foster care (CPS)


Why focus continued…

• Does this directly correlates to the ego development?

• NO

• However, it impacts ego and developing a secure sense of self in context and relation to the environment.


What is Ego & Ego-Strength:If ego is the self in contact with reality.

Then ego-strength refers to the strength of our sense of self or person to look face in the face without caving in or being overwhelmed.

The strength of ego-strength is the power, determination, road ability to engage reality for whatever we find it to be.

This highlights ego-strength as the ability to accept what is as existing and to then use our cognitive-behavioral, emotional and relational skills to deal with such.


Ego-Strength Cont.

Ego-strength then is our ability to play the Game of Life according to whatever curves life throws at us.

Ego-strength also refers to the inner personal strength by which we tolerate stress and frustration.

It is ego-strength that allows us to deal with reality without falling back to infantile defense mechanisms.


Now, given this definition of ego-strength…

• Do you have that kind of internal strength?

• Would you like to?

• What could you do with yourself and with life if you were to develop your ego-strength so that you could just face life on its terms without fuming and fusing?

• What focus would you develop if you had the ego-strength to not be put off by stress, frustrations, or disappointments?

• How much more peaceful and focused would you feel if you had ego-strength?


Ego-Strength and Early Development:

We are all born without any ego-strength. For that matter, we are all born without an ego. Sure we are born as a self, a human self, we just don’t know it.

Being born without any sense of ego means that, at first, there is no “I.” There is only enmeshment. As babies, we grow inside our mothers—fully attached.

Then comes the separation. We come into this world still attached and enmeshed with our mother and without the ability to distinguish ourselves from her.

As an infant, it is all one and the same. This is the process by which we become an autonomous human being.


Ego-Strength and Early Development:

The physiological separation of birth precedes the psychological separation and birth of the self. We call this process individuation.


Ego Strength Cont.

Normally our ego-strength grows and develops psychologically as we grow and develop physically.

It’s part of our psycho-cognitive-social development. We develop more and more of a sense of self as we face reality.

As that “I” develops the ability to see and accept reality for what it is, without the magical thinking of wishing and confusing wishing with reality, we develop more strength for coping and mastering the facts and constraints that life puts before us.


Underdeveloped/Weak EgoWeak ego-strength describes a person’s senses of self that doesn’t easily face, take in, and cope with what is. Instead it fights reality, hates it, and wishes it otherwise.

Expectations are unrealistic and based on inadequate understanding. Reality seems too big, too frightening, too overwhelming … and so we avoid the encounter.

In weak ego-strength, we don’t feel up to the task but unresourceful, weak, fragile, unable to cope, etc. The weaker the ego-strength, the less we will engage reality and the more we will flee to superstition, magic thinking and wishing, and addictions.


Developed/Strong EgoStrong ego-strength describes the person who first accepts whatever is as existing has raised his or her frustration tolerance, then looks at it and explores it with a view of dealing with it, coping and mastering.

With strong ego-strength we do not personalize things that happen in the world or what others say. We notice and we access the necessary resources to deal with it.

The strong our ego-strength grows, the more of a sense of self we develop and the greater our a sense of skills and resources, and ability to handle whatever comes.


The Use of “Ego”This use of “ego” differs from how we use when we say, “He has his ego involved” in this or that. Then we are speaking about a person’s self-definition, pride, and reputation.

Typically this indicates a weak ego strength and the need to boaster it up by fighting, defending, and being defensive. There’s a paradox here. The stronger our ego, the less our “ego” is involved, or “on the line” with what we do.

Strengthening our ego enables us to sit our “ego” aside and to engage the world as we explore what is out there and what opportunities it offers.


How was Your Ego-Strengthen?Take a few minutes and identify/discuss how your ego was shaped.


Watch Video Clip

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvgQLhpIJWU


What is the Triad?


What is Self- Identity?

Self-identity is how you perceive yourself and what you choose to identify with. You are born without awareness of yourself as a separate individual, and a sense of self develops over time.


What is Self-Concept?

• Self concept is what you understand about yourself. It is not the same as self image or self consciousness.

It includes:• your social character or abilities• your physical appearance and your

body image• your thinking


Can You Tell Me More?

Your self concept is your understanding of unchanging characteristics you have:

Social • Are you sociable? • Are you shy? • Are you confident?

Physical • Are you tall? • Are you fat? • Are you handsome?

Psychological• Are you pessimistic or optimistic? • Are you a happy? • How to make better decisions?


What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, "I am competent", "I am worthy") and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame


How to Strengthen the EgoThis will empower children to develop their ego’s and strengthen them. Ultimately, to help them develop a sense of self-efficacy in the face of changing times. It will enrich resiliency and creativity.


Step One: Acceptance

• As caregiver’s we are to model acceptance and apply that feeling to yourself “self.” (This teaches the child to accept)

• Think of something small and simple that you simply accept. You could get yourself worked up about it, even furious and frustrated, but you have learned to just go along and accept it. It could be something like the rain, the traffic, changing the baby’s diaper, taking out the garbage, etc. Think small and simple


What is that like when you are accepting something?

Showing children that it is alright to feel (i.e. sad, mad, happy, etc.) in different situations.

Modeling for children how to accept things that are out of their control. Teaching them how to increase their internal control (i.e. “How do I interpret understand…”).

The coping skills you offer the child is key to developing a strong ego.

Note: Acceptance also is not resignation or condoning. Acceptance is just welcoming something into your world without any negative fanfare.


Step Two: Adjusting Expectancies

• Think about what we as adults expect children to do when faced with a challenge.

• Now, think about what you have taught the child to do and not do (what about process)

• This explains how learning and developing greater understandings about things increases ego-strength.

• Knowing what is, how things work, the rules and principles of people, relationships, careers, etc. gives us the ability to adjust our thinking-and-emoting to such and this increases a child’s ego-strength because they begin to learn what is expected.


Step Three: Personal Power

• Weak and strong ego is related to our sense of personal power or the lack thereof.

• A child begins increasing their ego-strength when they begin to accept their personal responses of thinking, emotions and behaving (This is a continuum throughout childhood into adulthood).


Step Four: Praising the Child

• It is important for caregivers and authority figures to verbalize words of encouragement.

• This allows the child to feel good about their internal process which was displayed externally.

• Positive feedback enhances and strengthens a child’s ego.


What is our Role?

• to have another person in the child’s life that they can connect with and feel loved by

• to be able to accurately asses what the child is good at and what they may need more help with (developing).

• to have a positive outlook on things


What is the outcome for the child?

• to be a creative problem solver

• to have the ability to manage difficult feelings

• being a strong communicator

• to have social support in from not only the family but community.


Closing Remarks

• Ego strength and resiliency are things you can build and promote in a child.

• We utilize our ego-strength to build that of another ego-strength.


Questions?


References:• Hall, L. Michael; Bodenhamer, Bob G. (1997).

Figuring Out People: Design Engineering with Meta-Programs. Wales, UK: Crown House Publications.

• Hall, L. Michael (1999). The Secrets of Personal Mastery. Wales, UK: Crown House Publications.

• Hill, R.B. (1997). The strengths of Black Families. Washington, D.C.: R & B Publishers.

• Neville, Helen A., Tynes, Brendesha M., & Utsey, Shawn O. (2009). Handbook of African American Psychology. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications

• Taylor, R.L. (1995). African-American youth: Their social and economic status in the United States. Westport, CN: Praeger.

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Presenter: Allen Lipscomb, MA, LCSW