Presented by: NameMonth XX, 2012

A Parent’s and Educator’s Guide to Bullying

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Bullying is in the news

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What is bullying?

Bullying involves:•An imbalance of power•The intent to cause harm•Repetition

Bullying does not have to be physical, and it is not something only boys do.

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Types of bullying

• Verbal– Name-calling, teasing, slurs

• Social– Spreading rumors, sabotaging friendships

• Physical– Hitting, pushing, pranks

• Online (cyberbullying)– Social or verbal attacks via internet, phone

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Bullying can be particularly intense in early adolescence

• Kids are changing faster in these years than at any time since infancy.

• They're trying to figure out not only how their bodies work but who they are going to be and where they fit in.

• That's why they can be so desperate to be like everyone else, and so surprisingly cruel to anyone who's different.

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Kids may be targets of bullying just because they are different

As a 14-year-old girl told National Public Radio about why middle schools try so hard not to stand out:

"No matter who you are or what you do you'll get made fun of for it—anything in the world. It can be hard to do even the smallest thing because someone could tease you or judge you for it."

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Differences targeted by bullies

• Real or perceived sexual orientation• Disability• Ethnicity• Early or late development• Race• Religion• Interests• Body type• Mannerisms• Clothing

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Risks for being bullied

• Gender identity or sexual orientation• Social awkwardness• Unpopularity• Few or no friends• Low self esteem• Depression or anxiety

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Risks for bullying others

• Social power• Outsized concern with popularity• Domineering attitude

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Risks for bullying others

Others at risk for bullying others are more isolated from their peers and:• Have low self esteem• Are less involved in school• Are easily pressured by peers• Do not identify with the emotions or feelings of others• Limited parental involvement• Impulsivity• Difficulty following instruction• Interest in violence

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NOT risk factors:

• Location: Bullying happens everywhere.

School Size: The percentage of kids being bullied does not vary based on school size.

Gender: Boys and girls are just as likely to be involved in bullying.

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Potential Warning Signs of Bullying

Some signs are easy to see, but many can be confused for other problems. A child who is being bullied at school may:•Have poor attendance in school•Appear forgetful or more likely to “lose” things at school•Have unexplained injuries•Complain frequently of headaches and stomachaches•Have trouble sleeping or frequent bad dreams•Have changes in eating habits•Self-injure•Lose interest in hanging out or talking with friends•Speak of feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, even suicide•Avoid certain activities or places

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Potential Signs a Child is Bullying Others

It is difficult to hear that your child or student is behaving cruelly; it’s also hard to see signs of this at home.

Kids who bully may:•Have friends who bully others•Have money or belongings that cannot be explained•Not accept responsibility for their actions•Get into physical or verbal fights with others•Be often sent to the principal’s office or detention•Be quick to blame others•Show no signs at all

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How can you stop bullying?

• Explain different types of bullying• Children and adolescents need to know that they can get help

even if they aren’t in physical danger

• Keep lines of communication easy and open\• If kids know you are there and receptive, they are more likely to

report bullying behavior

• Encourage your child/students to pursue interests• Kids engaged in hobbies and group activities learn social skills,

make friends, and are less likely to be bullied—or bully others themselves

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How can you stop bullying?

• Teach children not to ignore episodes of bullying– 4 of 5 episodes of bullying are witnessed by other kids.

Speaking up is the most effective way to stop bullying

• Remind children to seek help from a trusted adult– Deciding beforehand who a child can go to in the event of

bullying increases the likelihood he or she will

• Parents: Stay engaged with your child’s school– A key risk factor for being bullied or bullying is a disengaged

family.

• Work together to create a positive school climate

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What can I do if a child is being bullied?• Talk with your child or students and show you

care• Discuss solutions together• Help your child develop coping strategies• Find allies• BE PERSISTENT• Document ongoing bullying• Consider other possible problems

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Some helpful don’ts

• DO NOT tell your child or student to ignore the bullying

• DO NOT blame your child or student for being bullied

• DO NOT encourage your child to harm the person who is bullying them

• DO NOT demand or expect a quick solution

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How can schools help?

Lay the groundwork•Coordinate with other schools in your district•Asses the extent of the problem•Establish a coordinating team•Involve the entire school community•Create a safe and supportive environment

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How can schools help?

Build a School-wide foundation•Develop a code of conduct

•Establish and consistently enforce consequences for bullying

•Build students’ sense of responsibility for the school community

•Distinguish between “ratting” and “reporting”

•Train all school personnel

•Ensure cultural competence

•Increase adult supervision

•Conduct school-wide bullying prevention activities

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How can schools help?

Make early interventions•Teach specific skills and values in the classroom

– Empathy, impulse control, or taking a stand

•Integrate skills into other curricula whenever possible– Conflict resolution and peer mediation

•Hold parent meetings

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How can schools help?

• Know the law• Provide individual interventions

– Establish a protocol for intervening in or investigating a bullying incident

– Determine the impetus for the behavior

– Reinforce alternative behaviors

– Work with parents

– Address off-campus bullying

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How can parents work with schools?

• Know the school policies– Knowing what to expect from the school can help

both you and your child navigate the situation

• Form a partnership– Don’t be afraid to reach out to school personnel

• Keep track of the situation– Bullying is by definition an ongoing process, and

stopping it requires a commitment to remain vigilant

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What can I do if my child/student is a bully?• Make it clear to your child that you take bullying seriously

– Much bullying behavior arises from a lack of social knowledge on the part of kids; have a conversation about your values

• Develop clear and consistent rules for your child’s behavior• Spend more time with your child

– Engaged parents are the best antidote to bullying behavior• Be aware of who your child’s friends are

– Friends who bully are a big risk factor for bullying behavior• Build on your child’s talents and positive attributes

– Group activities foster social learning and self-esteem• Develop a strategy with your child’s school to limit the behavior• Commit to working with child in partnership to end bullying• Explain that bullying is an unfortunate thing that does not need to

happen while growing up

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What can I do to prevent cyberbullying?

• Talk about the digital world– Many kids are more uninhibited online, both with what they

share and what the say.– Tell kids that they can get hurt online, and hurt others, just like in

the offline world• Be aware of where children go online

– Spending time online together is a good way to monitor use and teach children about the web

• Develop and enforce rules– Computers and phones may not seem as “real” as the offline

world, but consequences must be applied all the same

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What can I do if I think my child/student is being cyberbullied?• Tell your child/student not to respond

– Things on the Web last forever

• Document ongoing cyberbullying– Save posts and record screen names

• Parents can block the person who is bullying your child

• Be aware that children may be resistant to telling you– He or she may worry about losing communication devices

such as a laptop, phone or access to social networking sites such as Facebook.

• Remind your child/student that it is not his or her fault

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What if it gets to be too much?• If someone is at immediate risk of harm, call the police (911)• If a child is feeling suicidal, contact the suicide prevention

hotline (800-273-TALK)• If an educator is not keeping your child or other students safe,

contact the principal. If principal does not respond adequately, contact your superintendent or school board.

• If a child is sick, stressed, not sleeping, or experiencing other problems, contact your child’s school counselor, school psychologist, or other mental health professional

• If a child is bullied because of their race, ethnicity, gender, or disability and local help is not working, contact the US Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights

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Additional Resources

• www.stopbullying.gov• nasponline.org• [Include your contact information]• [Add information on your school/district resources]• [Add information on resources in your

area]

Learn more about bullying on childmind.org

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Thank you for joining us to

Speak Up for Kids!

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