Presented by Jola Edwards, M.Ed. Rachel Drew, M.F.A. Center for Policy and Innovation Department of...
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Writing in Plain Language Presented by Jola Edwards, M.Ed. Rachel Drew, M.F.A. Center for Policy and Innovation Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services 1
Presented by Jola Edwards, M.Ed. Rachel Drew, M.F.A. Center for Policy and Innovation Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services 1
Presented by Jola Edwards, M.Ed. Rachel Drew, M.F.A. Center for
Policy and Innovation Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative
Services 1
Slide 2
Todays Schedule 1:45Take the pretest 1:55Intro 2:30Plain
writing techniques 3:0015-minute break 3:15Plain writing
techniques/exercises 4:15Contest 4:50Take the posttest 2
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At the end of class, you should Understand what plain language
is and where it came from Know some of the techniques for writing
in plain language Be able to begin using some of those techniques
in your own writing Know where to get more information and help
3
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4
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What makes good writing? 5 What do you think makes good
writing?
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Plain language: Its about communicating. 6 What is it? Why
should I use it? How do I do it?
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Plain language is a worldwide movement. Sweden UK European
Union Canada Australia Mexico United States Government Business
Healthcare Legal 7
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U.S. Federal Efforts President Clintons Executive Memorandum,
1997 Plainlanguage.gov Plain Writing Act of 2010 Signed by
President Obama on October 13, 2010 The purpose of this Act is to
improve the effectiveness and accountability of Federal agencies to
the public by promoting clear Government communication that the
public can understand and use. 8
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Clear writing from your government is a civil right. 9 Former
Vice President Al Gore, 1998
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Why use plain language? Saves time Reduces mistakes telephone
calls litigation frustration Saves money Is more easily translated
Is more accessible 10
Slide 11
Testimonial from the federal government The focus on PL let
everyone know that it is OK to be clear, that we don't have to hide
our message behind big words and bureaucratic language. (Veterans
Benefits Administration) 11
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Just Say What You Mean. Plain language makes it easy for
readers to: Find Read Understand Act on INFORMATION 12
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Step 1: Identify why and who Step 2: Organize your information
Step 3: Use plain language writing techniques Step 4: Test your
document Step 5: Revise 13 The Plain Language Writing Process
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Identify why and who Why am I writing this? Who are my readers
(my audience)? What does my audience know? What does my audience
need to know? How will my audience use this document? 14 Step
1
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Organize your information Organize for your readers Organize
information in a logical order Choose an appropriate format Use
descriptive headings Use white space Use tables Try using the
inverted pyramid 15 Step 2
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Deploy your PL techniques Use active voice Use present tense
Use the simplest word Avoid hidden verbs Minimize acronyms and
jargon Use short sentences Keep subject, verb, and object close
together and in order 16 Step 3
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17 Step 3, continued: More PL Techniques No extra words Simple
tables Well-structured lists Personal pronouns Question and Answer
format Breaking up noun chains Paragraph unity Fewer sublevels
Words, not slashes Parallel phrasing Must instead of shall
Well-placed words
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1. Read your own document. 2. Have a reader test your document.
3. Look for nave readers as well as experts when you seek feedback.
18 Step 4: Test your document
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The writing process always includes revising. Use the results
of testing. Look first at big issues like format and organization.
Edit at the sentence level. 19 Step 5: Revise
Slide 20
Accessible design is plain design Informative headings and
subheadings Left-aligned, ragged right Line length of 65 characters
or less Bulleted or numbered lists Tables White space 20
Slide 21
Document Design: Which would you rather read? Diagnostic
Procedures At the beginning of the process are the application and
diagnostic procedures upon which you base your eligibility
decision. Your role as the counselor is to initiate, analyze, and
evaluate information considering the overall process. It may be
helpful at this stage to "begin with the end in mind"in other
words, consider what outcomes are needed from each piece of the
process to move to the next step. At application and throughout the
diagnostic interview, you have the first opportunity to investigate
the impact of disability on the consumer. Investigating this kind
of information in the diagnostic interview is a complex process of
probing and exploration. You must be prepared with the right
questions and focus on the outcome to ensure that you can gather
pertinent information, if it is not readily available. You may
consider part of the interview as a service orientation in which
you explain your role of counselor as direct provider of services,
arranger or coordinator of services, and consumer advocate. The
consumer must glimpse what is possible, even if the person does not
yet fully understand the role he or she will play in becoming
successful. Depending on the level of participation possible from
the consumer, you should also explain any further diagnostic
procedures, the eligibility process, and decision making that
influences further planning. A sensitive, thorough interview is
necessary, since one outcome may be that you find no indication of
a disability and recommend that the person seek services from
another source. The level and extent of evaluations you request to
supplement the interview should be based on your diagnostic
appraisal. Conserving funds and time dictates obtaining only the
amount of information needed to evaluate the individual consumer.
Again, "beginning with the end in mind" helps you to clarify the
decisions you must make for eligibility when you first meet the
consumer. The application, diagnostic interview, and subsequent
diagnostic procedures are the first of several cornerstone pieces
of a sound plan of services to reach the agreed-upon outcome.
Having sound diagnostic information leads you to determining
eligibility. The diagnostic interview is a significant vehicle for
collecting information because it allows the consumer to provide
you with needed social and vocational history. If you have not
sufficiently developed this piece, you may fail to realize the need
for a medical, psychological, educational, or vocational
evaluation, a failure that could lead to a poor eligibility
decision or developing a less than optimal plan for employment. You
must see the diagnostic interview as a critical part of planning
and decision making. Your role is to listen effectively and to ask
questions as necessary. Diagnostic Procedures At the beginning of
the process are the application and diagnostic procedures upon
which you base your eligibility decision. Your role as the
counselor is to initiate, analyze, and evaluate information
considering the overall process. It may be helpful at this stage to
"begin with the end in mind"in other words, consider what outcomes
are needed from each piece of the process to move to the next step.
Developing a Plan At application and throughout the diagnostic
interview, you have the first opportunity to investigate the impact
of disability on the consumer. Investigating this kind of
information in the diagnostic interview is a complex process of
probing and exploration. You must be prepared with the right
questions and focus on the outcome to ensure that you can gather
pertinent information, if it is not readily available. You may
consider part of the interview as a service orientation in which
you explain your role of counselor as direct provider of services,
arranger or coordinator of services, and consumer advocate. The
consumer must glimpse what is possible, even if the person does not
yet fully understand the role he or she will play in becoming
successful. 21
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Guideline 3.1 Readable: Make text content readable and
understandable. World Wide Web Consortium (W3C)
http://www.w3.org/TR/2008/NOTE-WCAG20-TECHS-20081211/G153 22 Web
Content Accessibility Guidelines (WCAG) 2.0:
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Principle 3 Understandable 3.1.5Reading Level: if reading level
is above lower secondary education level, add supplemental content,
add a version at or below the lower secondary education level, or
make the text easier to read (G153) 23
Slide 24
What Readability Formulas Can and Cannot Do Readability
formulas can give a quick, general assessment. They cannot measure
logical order vocabulary appropriateness gender, class, or cultural
bias effective design concreteness and abstraction obscurity,
ambiguity, or incoherence gobbledygook 24
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25
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Dont Hide Your Verbs in Nouns, Use Action Verbs Changing a verb
into a noun hides the action and substitutes a weaker verb. 26
Hidden Verb: Lets make a decision. Action Verb: Lets decide.
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Hidden Verbs perform an assessment of give consideration to
make payment conduct a review of issue a report Action Verbs assess
consider pay review report 27
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Why use action verbs instead of hidden verbs? Too many nouns
Abstract Wordy Sluggish Active verbs Concrete Concise Lively
28
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Active Voice Uses normal word order in a sentence:
subjectverbobject Tells who did what to whom. Example: Sally wrote
the rule. 29
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Passive Voice The object becomes the subject. The doer of the
action (the usual subject) disappears, or moves to the end of the
sentence in a "by" phrase. The verb uses a form of "to be" with the
past participle. Examples: The rule was written. The rule was
written by Sally. 30
Slide 31
If overused, passive voice makes the reader work harder creates
sluggish, foggy writing 31
Slide 32
Never say never...even about passive voice.... Use it when you
dont want to identify the doer the doer is unknown, unimportant, or
obvious the law is the doer Example: The rule was repealed in 2009.
32
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No Extra Words Cut out 1. extra prepositional phrases 2. wordy
phrases 3. unnecessary adjectives 4. clutter words 33
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Too Many Prepositional Phrases Flabby: but only such services
as are needed [for such individual] [by reason] [of his condition]
[of being disabled]. (4) Lean: but only those services the person
needs because he or she has a disability. (0) 34
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Wordy Phrases Phrases that use many words to do the work of one
or two. at this point in time at that point in time during the
period when due to the fact that in the event that notwithstanding
the fact that 35
Slide 36
Wordy Phrases at this point in time now at that point in
timethen during the period when when due to the fact that since,
because in the event thatif notwithstanding the fact thatalthough
36
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Unnecessary Adjectives [considerable] difficulty [pertinent]
information [personal] opinion [integral] part [future] plans [new]
innovation [violent] explosion [absolutely] necessary 37
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Clutter Words The office has not [yet] received the report. The
worker denied [any] knowledge of the new forms. The governor is
[now] serving his third term. The program will close [down] on July
1. 38
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Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a
brimming mind. Cicero 39
Slide 40
Say it succinctly 40 Before Investigators at the contractor
will review the facts in your case and decide the most appropriate
course of action. The first step taken with most Medicare health
care providers is to reeducate them about Medicare regulations and
policies. If the practice continues, the contractor may conduct
special audits of the providers medical records. Often, the
contractor recovers overpayments to health care providers this way.
If there is sufficient evidence to show that the provider is
consistently violating Medicare policies, the contractor will
document the violations and ask the Office of the Inspector General
to prosecute the case. This can lead to expulsion from the Medicare
program, civil monetary penalties, and imprisonment.
Slide 41
Say it succinctly 41 After We will take two steps to look at
this matter: We will find out if it was an error or fraud. We will
let you know the result.
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Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication Leonardo da Vinci
42
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Say It Simply 43 YES mean what you write short sentences simple
words precise words considered writing NO dumb it down 50 words
slang jargon lazy writing
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Simple Words Understood quickly & easily Prefer the Anglo
Saxon word to the Latin derivative 44
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Latin Derivative prior to subsequent to acquire adjacent to
conceal before after get beside hide 45 Anglo Saxon
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Simple, Everyday Words Not these, utilize assist numerous
individual initiate shall obtain But these: use help many person,
consumer begin, start must get 46
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Example of a Simpler Word Before: The counselor assists the
consumer with making an informed choice. After: The counselor helps
the consumer make an informed choice. 47
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Our national tendency is to inflate and thereby sound
important.... But the secret of good writing is to strip every
sentence to its cleanest components. William Zinsser, On Writing
Well, 1998 48
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Well-Placed Words Keep related words close together: subjects,
verbs, & objects modifiers & the things they modify 50
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Does word placement matter? Yesterday in town a mad dog bit
five men in the north end. We will publish a list of properties
that qualify for relief under this subpart each October. 51
Slide 52
Noun chain: baseball game ticket price increase proposal Break
it up: proposal to increase the ticket price of baseball games
Breaking Up 52 Noun Chains
Slide 53
Well-Structured Lists Well-structured lists make it easy for
the reader to find all the items follow the steps add white space
for eye appeal 53
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Find the list in this sentence: The student applicant should
submit an official copy of his or her transcript, two letters of
recommendation from professors, a statement of financial need, and
a short biographical statement to our grants office by April 15.
54
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To apply, submit the following items to our grants office by
April 15: an official copy of your transcript, two letters of
recommendation from professors, a statement of financial need, and
a short biographical statement. 55 Well-structured list
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Personal Pronouns engage readers simplify verbs reduce
wordiness provide a less official tone 56
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Simpler Verbs with You 3 rd person: The counselor assesses the
consumer. 2 nd person: You assess the consumer. or Assess the
consumer. 57
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How to Use You Use you for the person who reads and may need to
act on what you are writing. Example from City of Austin website:
We encourage vendors to register in VSS so that the City can notify
you about new opportunities. 58
Slide 59
Identify who you refers to in your document. Examples If you
are the VR counselor, you must.... or In this chapter, you refers
to the VR counselor. 59
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How to Use You If you are writing to the consumer, use you to
refer to the consumer, and use we or us to refer to the agency.
Example: You may request a duplicate certificate when you need one
by contacting us. 60
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Example: More than 1 You Use the following guidelines to help
people with physical disabilities when an evacuation has been
ordered. o If you are a floor safety coordinator, you must 1. check
on employees in your area who have special needs during an
evacuation, and 2. ensure that each employee with a disability has
an evacuation buddy and a back-up buddy who will help the person in
the evacuation. 61
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Example, continued If you are an evacuation buddy, o attempt to
rescue or evacuate a disabled employee only 1. if you have had
rescue training, or 2. if the employee is in immediate danger and
cannot wait for professional help; o always ask the person 1. how
you can help, 2. how you can best move the person, and 3. whether
there are any special considerations, or items you need to bring
with you. 62
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Using You in Q&A Format 3501.16 Does my permit or lease
grant me an exclusive right to develop the lands covered by the
permit or lease? No. Your permit or lease gives you an exclusive
right to the mineral, but not to the lands. Bureau of Land
Management 63
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Writing is an art, not a science. 64
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65
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Exercise 1: Identify who and why Scenario: Your boss asks you
to write a communication to the entire staff of your agency
explaining the new agency process for submitting requests for help
to the IT department. How do you communicate this information?
66
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Exercise 2: Edit to Expose the Hidden Verbs Before entering the
store to buy candy, the boy makes a decision to buy Fizzle
Skittles, and engages in a raid of his mothers change purse.
67
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Exercise 2: Edit to Expose the Hidden Verbs Will the real verbs
please stand up? Before entering the store to buy candy, the boy
decides to buy Fizzle Skittles, and raids his mothers change purse.
68 Suggested Answer
Slide 69
Exercise 3: Use active voice 1.Since last seeing my
chiropractor, my back exercises have been done twice a day.
2.Logistical checklists are contained in the business continuity
plans to guide department team members during recovery operations.
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Exercise 3: Use active voice 1. Since last seeing my
chiropractor, my back exercises have been done twice a day. Since I
last saw my chiropractor, I have done back exercises twice a day.
2. Logistical checklists are contained in the business continuity
plans to guide department team members during recovery operations.
The business continuity plans contain logical checklists to guide
department team members during recovery operations. Suggested
Answers 70
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Exercise 4: Cut extra words Vocational rehabilitation services
for eligible individuals involved in pursuit of education are
currently the responsibility of the Division for Rehabilitation
Services and not the responsibility of state colleges and
universities. 71
Slide 72
Exercise 4: Cut extra words Vocational rehabilitation services
for eligible individuals involved in pursuit of education are
currently the responsibility of the The Division for Rehabilitation
Services, and not the responsibility of state colleges and
universities, is responsible for vocational rehabilitation services
for consumers enrolled in education. Suggested Answer 72
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73 Exercise 5a: Use second person Edit the following sentence
to use you for the counselor. When the counselor becomes aware of a
lawsuit, the counselor provides the consumer with a copy of the
legal action form, and reviews it with the consumer to answer any
questions.
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Exercise 5a: Use second person When you become aware of a
lawsuit, give the consumer a copy of the legal action form, and
review it with the consumer to answer any questions. Easier to
read, isnt it? Suggested Answer 74
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75 Exercise 5b: Use second person Edit the following sentence
to use you for the consumer. When the counselor becomes aware of a
lawsuit, the counselor provides the consumer with a copy of the
legal action form, and reviews it with the consumer to answer any
questions.
Slide 76
Exercise 5b: Use second person When the counselor becomes aware
of a lawsuit, the counselor provides you with a copy of the legal
action form, and reviews it with you to answer your questions.
Suggested Answer 76
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77 Exercise 6: Make a list. Company employees, if they work in
the field and drive agency-owned vehicles or if they drive their
own cars while transporting customers, must submit to drug
testing.
Slide 78
Exercise 6: Make a list. Company employees must submit to drug
testing if they work in the field, and drive agency-owned vehicles,
or their own vehicles while transporting consumers. 78 Suggested
Answer
Slide 79
79 Exercise 7a: Well-placed words (keep modifiers close to the
words they modify) The purpose of the study guide is to make
information about the Board for Evaluation of Interpreters (BEI)
Interpreter Certification process, which is administered by the
Office for Deaf and Hard of Hearing Services more user
friendly.
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80 Exercise 7a: Well-placed words (keep modifiers close to the
words they modify) The purpose of the study guide is to make
provide user-friendly information about the Board for Evaluation of
Interpreters (BEI) Interpreter Certification process, which is
administered by the Office for Deaf and Hard of Hearing Services
more user friendly. The Office for Deaf and Hard of Hearing
Services administers the BEI Interpreter Certification
process.
Slide 81
81 Exercise 7b: Well-placed words (keep subjects and verbs
close) Bottlenose dolphins who are born at the sanctuary and hand
raised by experts who undergo an intensive certification program
after completing graduate work in marine biology have a life
expectancy of 20 to 25 years.
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82 Exercise 7b: Well-placed words (keep subjects and verbs
close) Bottlenose dolphins who are born at the sanctuary and hand
raised by experts who undergo an intensive certification program
after completing graduate work in marine biology have a life
expectancy of 20 to 25 years. The sanctuary dolphins are hand
raised by experts who undergo an intensive certification program
after completing graduate work in marine biology.
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83 Exercise 8: Breaking up noun chains The organization that
wins the grant will perform a national crime history record
information review.
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84 Exercise 8: Breaking up noun chains The organization that
wins the grant will perform a national crime history record
information review national records of crime history.
Slide 85
85 The Hoity-Toity Gobbledy-Gook Writing Contest My beagle,
Miss Mugsy, won best in show at the Humane Societys dog show last
Saturday. or The speech was so boring and hard to understand that
most of the audience was too sleepy to be angry about it.
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Want to learn more about PL? Plainlanguage.gov 86
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Plain language techniques are not new; most of them are the
tenets of good clear writing that have been around for years. PL is
all about identifying and respecting the readers, not burdening
them with abstract language. PL is a journey, not a destination. PL
provides the best customer service to our readers. In Conclusion
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