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Services to Help You There are many organisations available to provide support during this difficult time Everyone is an individual and will respond to different help and advice It is important to find an organisation that meets your needs
Australian Multiple Birth Association wwwambaorgau Tel 1300 886 499
Bears of Hope wwwbearsofhopeorgau Tel 130011HOPE for grief support
Bereavement Care Centre wwwbereavementcarecomau Tel 1300 654 556
Open Doors Counselling and Education Services wwwopendoorscomau Tel 1800 647 995
Pillars of Strength wwwpillarsofstrengthcomau
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Research and Information (PILARI) wwwpilariorg
Pregnancy Loss Australia wwwpregnancylossaustraliaorgau Tel 1300 720 942
SIDS and KIDS NSW wwwsidsandkidsnsworg Tel1800 651 186
healthdirect Australia 1800 022222 A 24-hour government health information and advice line
Grieflink wwwgrieflinkorgau
Little Angels Memory Boxes (LAMB) wwwlittleamborgau Tel 1300 305 595
National Association for Loss and Grief wwwnalagorgau Tel 02 9489 6644
Heartfelt wwwheartfeltorgau Tel 1800 583 768
Mums Like Me wwwmumslikemeorg Tel 0422 133 328
Yasminahrsquos Gift of Hope wwwygohorgau
Stillbirth Foundation wwwstillbirthfoundationorgau Tel 02 9967 3229
The Compassionate Friends NSW Inc wwwthecompassionatefriendsorgau Tel 02 9290 2355
SANDS httpwwwsandsorgau
Pregnancy Birth amp Baby Helpline 1800 88 24 36 You can ring the helpline any time of the day or night 7 days a week
There are other counselling and support services available through qualified practitioners which the Maternity Services Unit at your local hospital or your GP can refer you to
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day Events are held on or around the 15th of Oct each year For an up to date list of these events across Australia visit www15octobercomau
Further Information NSW Health resources
during or soon after birth whose baby has died before
Information for parents about the post-mortem examination of a stillborn baby wwwkidsfamilieshealthnswgovaupublications information-for-parents-about-the-post-mortem-examination-of-a-stillborn-baby
SHPN (NKF) 120303
Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Parents
A resource to support parents
What you should know The loss of a baby at any time is one of the most devastating and personally unique experiences any parent can go through As a bereaved parent you will experience deep grief and a mixture of emotions
Although you may feel very alone at this moment many families have been through similar experiences of loss and understand the need to be comforted and supported at this difficult time
The first few days
In the days after the loss of your baby you will have to cope with deep grief and a mixture of emotions as well as the physical aspects of the postnatal period
You may have to make many decisions about things you never imagined No decisions will be easy to make when all you want is to have your baby alive again
You may need information and facts about why your baby died
bull Discuss a post mortem so you may know why your baby died
bull Ask for information and facts about pregnancy loss
bull Understand your legal obligation
ndash At different stages of pregnancy there are different legal requirements and choices
ndash If your baby was born when you were 20 weeks pregnant or more or weighed at least 400 grams or if he or she took a breath after the birth then you are legally required to have him or her cremated or buried in a cemetery You are also required to register your baby with the registry of births deaths and marriages The social worker at the hospital can help you with this process
What you can do Donrsquot tackle this alone - Speak with hospital staff about the organisations and services available Remember - there are no wrong questions at this time
Spend time with your baby and create memories
Take your time hold bathe and dress your baby prepare to say goodbye
Consider if siblings grandparents etc and close friends may like to meet your baby Tell older children what to expect and encourage them to see the baby Let them cuddle the baby if they want to
Create memories which you will cherish in years to come such as take a lock of hair footprints and handprints and record your babyrsquos name and story If possible have someone take photographs of you with your baby
Name your baby no matter how short his or her life was
A blessing or special ceremony acknowledges your baby and marks the dignity and importance of his or her life bull A service can be held regardless of how old baby was
at birth or how baby died You can have a small informal ceremony at home church hospital or somewhere special to you
Take your time
Donrsquot feel pressure to make decisions quickly Take time to consider your options go with what you feel is right
Everyone grieves differently
Grieving a baby is hard because others may not acknowledge the depth of your loss
To help yourself and each other know that grief is real normal and that you should feel free to grieve as long as you need
Each person deals with grief in their own way and this should be respected
Parents experience loss in different ways - men and women grieve differently
Itrsquos okay to talk of your loss and find solace in the understanding of strangers
Right now and in the months to come you may feel very sad and empty longing for your baby You may feel very angry guilty frightened or bewildered These feelings are all painful but normal
Grieving is exhausting be gentle and donrsquot expect too much of yourself
As time goes by the pain will lessen When you start to cope with loss and accept it this means you are finding ways to live with it
Respect and support each other Ask each other what would help most time alone a hug talking about feelings or some distraction Ask for support from others when you need it
What you should know The loss of a baby at any time is one of the most devastating and personally unique experiences any parent can go through As a bereaved parent you will experience deep grief and a mixture of emotions
Although you may feel very alone at this moment many families have been through similar experiences of loss and understand the need to be comforted and supported at this difficult time
The first few days
In the days after the loss of your baby you will have to cope with deep grief and a mixture of emotions as well as the physical aspects of the postnatal period
You may have to make many decisions about things you never imagined No decisions will be easy to make when all you want is to have your baby alive again
You may need information and facts about why your baby died
bull Discuss a post mortem so you may know why your baby died
bull Ask for information and facts about pregnancy loss
bull Understand your legal obligation
ndash At different stages of pregnancy there are different legal requirements and choices
ndash If your baby was born when you were 20 weeks pregnant or more or weighed at least 400 grams or if he or she took a breath after the birth then you are legally required to have him or her cremated or buried in a cemetery You are also required to register your baby with the registry of births deaths and marriages The social worker at the hospital can help you with this process
What you can do Donrsquot tackle this alone - Speak with hospital staff about the organisations and services available Remember - there are no wrong questions at this time
Spend time with your baby and create memories
Take your time hold bathe and dress your baby prepare to say goodbye
Consider if siblings grandparents etc and close friends may like to meet your baby Tell older children what to expect and encourage them to see the baby Let them cuddle the baby if they want to
Create memories which you will cherish in years to come such as take a lock of hair footprints and handprints and record your babyrsquos name and story If possible have someone take photographs of you with your baby
Name your baby no matter how short his or her life was
A blessing or special ceremony acknowledges your baby and marks the dignity and importance of his or her life bull A service can be held regardless of how old baby was
at birth or how baby died You can have a small informal ceremony at home church hospital or somewhere special to you
Take your time
Donrsquot feel pressure to make decisions quickly Take time to consider your options go with what you feel is right
Everyone grieves differently
Grieving a baby is hard because others may not acknowledge the depth of your loss
To help yourself and each other know that grief is real normal and that you should feel free to grieve as long as you need
Each person deals with grief in their own way and this should be respected
Parents experience loss in different ways - men and women grieve differently
Itrsquos okay to talk of your loss and find solace in the understanding of strangers
Right now and in the months to come you may feel very sad and empty longing for your baby You may feel very angry guilty frightened or bewildered These feelings are all painful but normal
Grieving is exhausting be gentle and donrsquot expect too much of yourself
As time goes by the pain will lessen When you start to cope with loss and accept it this means you are finding ways to live with it
Respect and support each other Ask each other what would help most time alone a hug talking about feelings or some distraction Ask for support from others when you need it
