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THE PLATINUM RULE Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what make life so rich and fascinating and often so frustrating, too. Most of us never figure out some people. We just ricochet through life, getting along with some people and dealing as little as possible with others because they’re so different from us. Everyone knows the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. But this habit can turn off those people who have different needs, wants and hopes than we do. Instead, the real key to making a difference is to apply the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would like done unto them! Once you understand and master the Platinum Rule, you’ll be able to build bridges to people of any style in any personal or business situation. UNDERSTAND THE STRENGTHS, WEAKNESSES, LIKES, DISLIKES, FEARS, AND GOALS OF EACH OF THE FOUR BEHAVIORAL STYLES UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN BEHAVIORAL STYLE AND HOW TO MAXIMIZE ITS STRENGTHS AND MINIMIZE ITS WEAKNESSES. LEARN HOW TO “READ” THE BEHAVIORAL STYLE OF OTHERS — QUICKLY AND ACCURATELY THROUGH THEIR VERBAL, VOCAL AND VISUAL SIGNALS. DISCOVER STRATEGIES FOR CREATING INSTANT RAPPORT AND BETTER COMPATIBILITY WITH EACH BEHAVIORAL STYLE. LEARN HOW TO PRACTICE ADAPTABILITY WITH EACH BEHAVIORAL STYLE - THROUGH YOUR FLEXIBILITY (THE WILLINGNESS TO ADJUST YOUR BEHAVIOR) AND VERSATILITY (THE KNOWLEDGE AND ABILITY TO Bringing America's Best Speakers Right to Your Conference Room

Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what

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Page 1: Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what

THE PLATINUM RULEPowerful People Skills for Building

Long Term Relationships

Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what make life so rich and fascinating and often so frustrating, too. Most of us never figure out some people. We just ricochet through life, getting along with some people anddealing as little as possible with others because they’re so different from us.

Everyone knows the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. But this habit can turn off those people who have different needs, wants and hopes than we do. Instead, the real key to making a difference is to apply the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they wouldlike done unto them! Once you understand and master the Platinum Rule,you’ll be able to build bridges to people of any style in any personal or business situation.

• UNDERSTAND THE STRENGTHS, WEAKNESSES, LIKES, DISLIKES, FEARS, AND GOALS OF EACH OF THE FOUR BEHAVIORAL STYLES   

• UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN BEHAVIORAL STYLE AND HOW TO MAXIMIZE ITS STRENGTHS AND MINIMIZE ITS WEAKNESSES.   

• LEARN HOW TO “READ” THE BEHAVIORAL STYLE OF OTHERS — QUICKLY AND ACCURATELY THROUGH  THEIR VERBAL, VOCAL AND VISUAL SIGNALS.   

• DISCOVER STRATEGIES FOR CREATING INSTANT RAPPORT AND BETTER COMPATIBILITY WITH EACH BEHAVIORAL STYLE.   

• LEARN HOW TO PRACTICE ADAPTABILITY WITH EACH BEHAVIORAL STYLE - THROUGH YOUR FLEXIBILITY (THE WILLINGNESS TO ADJUST YOUR BEHAVIOR) AND VERSATILITY (THE KNOWLEDGE AND

ABILITY TO

Bringing America's

Best Speakers

Right to Your

Conference Room

Page 2: Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what

THE PLATINUM RULEPowerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships

• THE TWO DIMENSIONS OF BEHAVIORAL STYLES

• THE FOUR BASIC BEHAVIORAL STYLES

• STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES OF EACH STYLE

• HOW THEY COMMUNICATE

“Prescription before diagnosis

is malpractice.”

“When two people want to do business together, the details never stand in the way.”

“People buy from people they like.”

“Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.”

-Tony Alessandra

Page 3: Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what

• HOW THEY SET GOALS

• HOW THEY MAKE DECISIONS

• SOCIAL & WORK COMPATIBILITY

• IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH STYLE...

• TREAT THEM...

Page 4: Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what

Upcoming Events

Bob ProctorTHE SCIENCEOF GETTING RICH Power Principles for Creating More Wealth in A Rapidly Changing WorldRelease Date: September 20, 2004

Connie PodestaLIFE WOULD BE EASY IF IT WEREN'T FOR OTHER PEOPLEStrategies for Thriving In Your Personal & Professional Life Release Date: November 20, 2004

Blaine Athorn MEMORY POWER Supercharge Your Mind to Instantly Recall Names, Ideas & InformationRelease Date: January 20, 2005

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Kerry JohnsonNEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING 401 Advanced Techniques for Building Trust & Rapport Faster Than EverRelease Date: July 20, 2005

Additional Notes

Page 5: Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what
Page 6: Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what

The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment for «firstname» «lastname» - DIRECTOR Style

Copyright © 2003 Alessandra & Associates, Inc. Page 1

«assocname» «assocphone» «assocweb»

How To Identify Another Person’s Behavioral Style

How do you quickly and accurately identify each of the four behavioral styles in order to practiceadaptability? You do this by focusing on two areas – openness and directness. How open or guarded isthe person and how direct or indirect is the person?

OPENNESS

Open Behaviors

Shows feelings and enthusiasm

More relaxed and warm

Emphasizes main ideas

Goes with the flow

Conversation includes digressions

Opinion-oriented

Animated facial expressions

Friendly handshake

Initiates/accepts physical contact

Guarded Behaviors

Keeps feelings private

Limited range of facial expressions

More formal and proper

Avoids/minimizes physical contact

Goes with the agenda

Speaks in specifics; cites facts

Formal handshake

Conversation stays on subject

OpenPeople-Oriented

GuardedTask-Oriented

RELATERS SOCIALIZERS

THINKERS DIRECTORS

Page 7: Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what

The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment for «firstname» «lastname» - DIRECTOR Style

Copyright © 2003 Alessandra & Associates, Inc. Page 2

«assocname» «assocphone» «assocweb»

DIRECTNESS

Indirect Behaviors

Infrequent use of gestures and voiceintonation to emphasize points

More patient and cooperative

Often makes qualified statements

Gentle handshake

Infrequent contributor in groups

More likely to wait for others tointroduce themselves

Reserves expression of opinions

Direct Behaviors

Frequently uses gestures and voiceintonation to emphasize points

Less patient; more competitive

Often makes emphatic statements

Sustained eye contact

Frequent contributor in groups

Firm handshake

Expresses opinions readily

More likely to introduce self to others

IndirectSlower-Paced

DirectFaster-Paced

RELATERS SOCIALIZERS

THINKERS DIRECTORS

Page 8: Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships · Powerful People Skills for Building Long Term Relationships Tony Alessandra Personality differences: they’re what

The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment for «firstname» «lastname» - DIRECTOR Style

Copyright © 2003 Alessandra & Associates, Inc. Page 3

«assocname» «assocphone» «assocweb»

THE WHOLE PICTURE

When you combine the two scales, you arrive at each of the four different behavioral styles. Individualswho exhibit guarded and direct behaviors are Director Styles. People who are both direct and open areSocializer Styles. People who exhibit open and indirect behaviors are Relater Styles. Finally, indirect andguarded people are Thinker Styles.

So, to quickly identify the styles of other people ask these two questions:

1. Are they more direct and fast-paced or indirect and slower-paced?

2. Are they more guarded and task-oriented or open and people-oriented?

OpenPeople-Oriented

GuardedTask-Oriented

IndirectSlower-Paced

DirectFaster-Paced

RELATERS SOCIALIZERS

THINKERS DIRECTORS