POWERful Coaching for Powerful Results · Learning to be a Great Coach Objective Listening -Attention shifts to the speaker. -The listener (coach) tunes in to what is said. -The speaker

POWERful Coaching for Powerful Results

Values, Joy, and 4 More Coaching Skills

Karla Reiss, President, The Change Place Education Consultant

Certified Empowerment Coach

This Module Includes… • Professional Coaching Core Competencies • Coaching Basics Why Values Matter Aligning Inner and Outer Goals

• More Coaching Skills Validating Active Listening Bottom Lining

• Coaching Skills Practice

©2006 The Change Place

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.”

~ Joe Girard

“Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.”

~ George Hegel


Professional Coaching Core Competencies

Sets the Foundation Meets Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards

– Understanding of coaching ethics and standards and ability to apply them appropriately in all coaching situations • Understands and exhibits in own behaviors the ICF

Standards of Conduct • Understands and follows ICF Ethical Guidelines • Clearly communicates the distinctions between

coaching, consulting, psychotherapy and other support professions

• Refers client to another support professional as needed, knowing when this is needed and the available resources


Professional Coaching Core Competencies Sets the Foundation Establishes a Coaching Agreement

– Ability to understand what is required in the specific coaching interaction and to come to agreement with the prospective and new client about the coaching process and relationship • Understands and effectively discusses with the client

guidelines and specific parameters of the coaching relationship (e.g., logistics, fees, scheduling, if appropriate)

• Reaches agreement about what is appropriate in the relationship and what is not, what is and is not being offered, and about the client's and coach's responsibilities

• Determines an effective match between his/her coaching method and the needs of the prospective client


Why Core Values Matter

• Coaching is an inside-out process. • Successful coaching aligns one’s inner

values and desires with outer goals. • People are happier when what they do

has great meaning. • A great coach helps a coachee

identify or revisit what matters most.


Identifying Core Values Many techniques – here’s one to try. • Print out the “values list” handout under the

resource tab. • Do this activity alone, in silence. • Here’s how:

– Quickly scan the words. – Circle 10 that “speak” to you. – Now, reduce the list to 4. – These are your core values.


Discussion

How might awareness of values be helpful in a coaching relationship? • Take 5 minutes to reflect. Discuss with your small group or jot down your thoughts in your journal.


“When your values are clear, your decision-making is easy.” ~ Walt Disney

Honoring Core Values

Enables Coachees To: • Manage time. • Say “YES” to what matters most. • Learn to say “No.” • Feel in control of life.


Honoring Core Values

Enables Coachees To… • Make choices with ease. • Reduced stress. • Eliminate guilt.


Examples

• Educator A – Adventure, community, integrity,

spontaneity • Educator B

– Creativity, family, passion, truth • Educator C

– Calm, contribute, sincerity, wisdom How can different values influence how you coach someone?


Discovering Your Joy

• Live with joy on a daily basis. – In your professional life – In your personal life

• Each person is unique • When you let your joy spill out into the world,

it spreads to others. • Remember your joy?

– Overwhelm bogs us down – Let’s bring it back!


Discovering Your Joy • Draw a “T” chart. • In the first column, make a list of 20 things

that bring you joy. – activities, aromas, feelings, people… anything!

• In the second column, write down how much time you spend doing them in an average week.

• You can also rank-order the 20 items first. • Focus on 2-3 per week When coaching, help coachees add joy to their work and their lives, every week.


How can knowing what brings a coachee joy be helpful in a coaching situation?

Take 5 minutes to reflect. Discuss with your small group or jot down your thoughts in your journal.

Discussion


Aligning Inner with Outer Goals • How is a coach like a chiropractor?

– Creating alignment between values, purpose, thoughts, beliefs, actions

– When all are aligned, results are reached with ease and joy!

• We’ve learned to identify values and what a coachee finds joy in.

• Aim to connect the inner self with outer goals – Professional goals – Personal goals


Aligning Inner with Outer Goals

• Encourage coachee to think big • Encourage coachee to identify a grand

purpose for: – Their work – Their life

• Ask questions like: – “Where do you want to be in your professional

and/or personal life, 10-20-50 years from now?” – “What do you want to be remembered for?”


Aligning Inner with Outer Goals

Why do this? Increase motivation toward goals Accomplish professional & personal goals Eliminate distractions Increased energy

“There isn´t enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle.”

~ Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta


Essential Coaching Skills Part 2 Learning to be a Great Coach Validating

– Conveys to coachee that it’s OK to feel as they do.

– Coach recognizes how coachee feels – Used when coachee is stressed – Often used along with acknowledging but is

a different skill

Sounds Like: - “It can surely be upsetting when that happens.” - “Anyone in that situation would feel that way.”


Essential Coaching Skills Part 2 Learning to be a Great Coach

Active Listening - Deeper level of listening - #1 Coaching skill

“It is impossible to overemphasize the immense need human beings have to be really listened to.”

~ Paul Tournier


Essential Coaching Skills Part 2 Learning to be a Great Coach Active Listening - Coaches listen more and talk less than

normal conversation - For example, if someone says:

- “I don’t have time to do that…” - An astute coach hears:

- “That is not my priority.” - “I don’t know how to make time for that.” - “That’s not important to me.”


Essential Coaching Skills Part 2 Learning to be a Great Coach ICF Competency: “A Coach Listens Deeply” 3 Levels of Listening

- Superficial - Objective - Intuitive



Superficial Listening - The most common type of listening

present in our daily conversations. - The listener is hearing and transferring

what is said to his or her own experience. - The person speaking feels disconnected

and unheard. - The speaker is not helped.



- Superficial Listening - The conversation is shallow. - The focus shifts to the listener instead of

the person speaking. - You DON’T want superficial listening in

coaching! - Sounds like:

- “I’ve had that happen to me. I couldn’t believe it.” - “I know. My office is a mess too.”



Objective Listening - Attention shifts to the speaker. - The listener (coach) tunes in to what is said. - The speaker (coachee) feels the connection

and feels heard.

All coaching should occur at this level… at a minimum!



Objective Listening - The listener (coach) omits their own personal

story even if it relates to the issue. - The coach tunes out any unrelated thoughts. - The coachee appreciates the attention to

their issue.


Essential Coaching Skills Part 2 Learning to be a Great Coach Objective Listening - The coach listens for:

- Thoughts - Beliefs - Obstacles - Doubts - Fears - What is not being said

Sounds like: “I can hear how challenging that is for you.” “Sounds like you’re really making an effort.”



Intuitive Listening - Can have a powerful effect. - Coach and coachee feel a deep connection. - Coachee trusts the coach and opens up to

new insights about themselves. - Breakthroughs happen here.

Masterful coaching takes place here. Aim for all

coaching the be at this high level!


Essential Coaching Skills Part 2 Learning to be a Great Coach Bottom-Lining – Gets to the core issue quickly. – Saves time. – Assures a coaching session is not a gripe

session. – Coach intrudes when coachee is rambling. Sounds like: “How can I help you today?” “I hear how stressed you are. What aspects of this

do you want to deal with?


Coaching Skill Practice

• Review the three coaching skills in the previous slides: validating, active listening, bottom-lining

• Think of a scenario or professional challenge you have. In your group, find a partner. One become the coach, one the coachee. (Or do this activity in a journal. Play both roles.)

• Take 5 minutes each. Conduct a coaching conversation

using using your new skills.



Try this again using ALL the coaching skills learned in Modules 3 and 4: – Reframing – Acknowledging – Powerful Questions – Forwarding Action – Validating – Active Listening – Bottom-Lining




• How did it feel to be coached? • How did it feel to be the coach? • What was different? • What was helpful? • What was not helpful?

Summary

• Coaches help coachees uncover or remember their most important values and joys and bring them into daily life.

• Validating the coachee’s feelings builds trust and defuses stress.

• Listening deeply is key to successful coaching relationships.

• Getting to the bottom line, limits venting, and assures coaching sessions are productive.


"Success is not final; failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts." ~ Winston Churchill

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own." ~ Benjamin Disraeli


Documents

POWERful Coaching for Powerful Results · Learning to be a Great Coach Objective Listening -Attention shifts to the speaker. -The listener (coach) tunes in to what is said. -The speaker