Positive Parenting SolutionsBy Healthy Lifestyle Magazine

Positive Parenting SolutionsFor Dealing with Your Defiant Child

Parenting is not for the faint of heart, especially if you have a stubborn ordefiant child. You need to be prepared and more determined than yourchildren are in order to help them get through the issues that arise. Havinga game plan in place is crucial for your success and theirs. Considerincorporating these positive parenting solutions for dealing with yourdefiant child.

A defiant, stubborn child tend to test your patience and parenting skills tothe limit on a regular basis. This is just part of raising your child, for themost part. All children go through at least two defiant stages – the "terribletwos," when they learn to say "no" and again in the teen years, when theysay "no" as they practice making mature choices and decisions.

If your child has been diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)by a doctor, you will encounter similar issues. However, there aredifferences related to frequency and severity due to the cause of thedefiant behavior. This makes it even more important to have solidfoundations, plans, and consequences in place.

Whether your child is going through one of the common defiant stages,dealing with ODD, or has another major issue, it's important to address theproblem early. In fact, at the first sign of defiant behavior, model and teachyour child acceptable ways to react and respond.

Here are 8 positive parenting solutions for dealing with your defiant child successfully.

1. Build a solid foundation – It isnever too early to begin teachingyour child or children goodmanners, conflict resolution,problem solving skills, and socialetiquette. The earlier you begin, theeasier it will be for you and yourchildren.

Even before your babies are born,they are learning about the worldaround them – including actions,reactions, expectations, and consequences, or causes and effects. Don'tbe afraid to start building the foundation during the baby stage.

2. Establish boundaries, rules, and consequences – Establish boundariesand rules early. These should address your expectations for your childrenas well as your own conduct. When setting up consequences for yourchildren, try to make them related to the specific issue.

Write down the consequences so kids know what will happen if theychoose to disobey or ignore rules. Depending on what your child respondsto, you may restrict or disallow the use of an item, especially if itcontributed to the infraction.

3. Master your self-control – Model a calm, cool, and collected attitude.Defiant children can be emotional and explosive. In order to dealsuccessfully with children's outbursts, you must control your own thoughts,emotions, actions, and words. If you need to, take time to calm downbefore addressing the behavior issue. When you talk with your child, keepyour tone of voice low, firm, and decisive as you discuss family beliefs,values, expectations, and rules.

4. Enforce consequences – When a child knows that consequences willnot be enforced, they are less likely to follow the rules or stick to theboundaries. Your consistency in this matter will make a big difference.Don’t allow your child to stay home when you go out, if they have abusedthe privilege.

Make them go with you or stay with a relativeinstead of enjoying their freedom, while youare not home. When it comes to restrictingthe use of items, the loss of a cell phone,video game, computer, or television may beappropriate.

5. Don’t give your power away – Defiantchildren want the last word. They also want you to give in to their wantsand way of thinking. Refuse to argue with them. End the conversation onyour terms. Let the air out of that balloon, so to speak. Don't let them wearyou down. You have to be more determined than they are.

6. Refuse to bargain – Bargaining is a tool used by kids to get their wayand get out of dealing with their responsibilities. No matter how they cry orcomplain, they must fix their mistake and then accept the consequences.

7. Reinforce the positive – Instead of giving attention when they dosomething wrong, praise and reward their positive behaviors. Point outwhen they do something well or made a thoughtful decision. Don’t skimpon the positives if you want your child to model them.

8. Change the Channel – Channel angry energy into a constructive activity.When the kids (or you) are mad, adrenalin surges through the body. Themadder you are, the more adrenalin there is. Work with your child to comeup with a list of things that may help your child work out the angry feelingsand energy without hurting you, themselves, animals, or tearing upproperty.

Try each idea, making note of what worked best and what didn't work atall. Many parents and children find that cycling, running, jumping, and otherwhole body activities help to use up the adrenaline, often enablingeveryone to think more rationally.

Parents must take the time to plan and strategize when it comes to dealingwith their defiant child. As stated earlier, you have to be determined andconsistent when it comes to dealing with your stubborn or defiant children.Make your plan and include one or more of these 8 parenting solutionswith your defiant child.

Other Resources That May Interest You

The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant DisorderDr. Douglas Riley teaches parents how to recognize the signs, understandthe attitudes, and modify the behavior of their oppositional child... http://amzn.to/1NlkEAM

Your Defiant Teen:10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild YourRelationshipTrusted psychologists who have worked with thousands of families giveyou the tools you need to overcome defiance and get teen behavior backon track... http://amzn.to/1OVRBX5

Defiant Children :A Clinician's Manual for Assessment and Parent TrainingA perennial bestseller from a leading authority, this book provides aneffective 10-step program for training parents in child behaviormanagement skills... http://amzn.to/1NJkqXZ