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Parenting Manners

10 Manners Pinoy Kids should KnowFor distinctly Filipino situations, distinctly Filipino manners are required. Teach your children these important rules.by Tina Santiago-Rodriguez . Jan 9, 2014

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Culture affects childrens manners, says etiquette expert Pauli Antoine PorquezGenuino, president of image and social graces training companies Red Archonand Etiquette de Manille. It is especially important to consider the commonactivities typical Filipino families engage in and how these influence thebehavior of children. Read on for tips on how you can raise well-mannered kidsthe Pinoy way.

When relating with other people

1. Po, opo, and paki Traditionally, using po and opo is a more respectful way of conversing withelders. Get your tot into the habit of responding to grown-ups using thesepolite Filipino words. Genuino also encourages parents to train their kids toalways say puwede po bang or paki when asking for a favor.

2. Mano po Marilet Delgado-Anastacio, a registered guidance counselor at Miriam CollegeGrade School, thinks parents should encourage their kids to practicepagmamano, as it is a beautiful Filipino tradition of greeting the elderly whereone gently takes the hand of the elder and kisses it or places it on onesforehead.

3. Tao po!

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3. Tao po! Aside from the usual practice of knocking on closed doors and waiting for aresponse before entering, Filipinos usually call out Tao po! whenever visitingsomeones home. This is to signify ones presence in anothers home.

4. Igalang si Yaya. Having a yaya or a kasambahay is common in many Filipino households.Parents should be good role models when it comes to dealing with them.Remind your children to treat helpers (and everyone else they meet) withkindness and respect.

5. Paggalang sa nakatatanda. Aside from using po and opo and practicing pagmamano, children mustalso remember to give way to the elderly, especially in public. The samecourtesy should be extended to pregnant women and people with disabilities.6. Ate, Kuya, Tito, at Tita Another distinctly Filipino way of showing respect for grown-ups is to not callthem by their first names. Tell your child that it would be nice to address olderpeople as ate, kuya, manong, manang, and even lolo or lola. It is also okay toaddress the friends of his parents as tito and tita, even if they are not hisrelatives.

During mealtime

7. Kutsara at tinidoro kamayan Unlike in other countries where it is common to use a knife and a fork duringmealtimes, Filipinos like to eat using a spoon (kutsara) and a fork (tinidor).Show your child the proper way to hold his utensils while eating. Teach himthat it is improper to tap his spoon and fork together to remove bits of foodfrom his utensils. When he is a little older (and no longer makes a mess or playswith his food), teach your child how the locals like to eat their food best:kamayan. Tell him that serving spoons are still to be used even during kamayansessions, and that only one hand should be used when doing so. Licking bothhands is a no-no (and the same goes when using utensils, too!). Table mannersalso include not overloading your plate with food. Remind your child to get justenough food he can finish.

8. The Pinoy hospitality It is customary for Pinoys to invite others to join them for a meal. When yourfamily has guests over at your home, teach your child to be a gracious host byoffering the guests something to eat or drink as soon as they arrive. And if youare throwing a party at home, remind your child to let the guests (especially thegrown-ups) help themselves to the food first before he partakes of the meal.

At Church and in other peoples homes

9. Bless po, Father. Encourage your child to ask for blessing of the priest or pastor after mass orservice. This is one way of saying thanks to him, honoring him, and recognizingauthority.

10. Shoes off Genuino encourages parents to teach their children to take off their shoesbefore entering someones house if the owner walks barefoot inside his home.When visiting a playmate, it is also important that your child respectfully greethis friends parents or the homeowners and properly say good-bye andthank you. Encourage your child to look people in the eye, and remind him toalways be gracious and at his best behavior when in other peoples homes.

Genuino says, One of the best things we can teach our kids is proper tableetiquette. Children who learn it at a young age tend to practice good mannersthroughout their lives.

When children are equipped with skills, they become confident, learn how tocope, and behave well in different situations as they grow. Praise your kids, usepositive motivation, and show them that you are proud of their new skill.

Stages and ages

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Stages and agesFollow this guide to know what to expect from your child when it comes toteaching him about manners.

1 to 2 years - Start introducing the concept to your child through modeling.

3 to 5 years - The child should be able to practice good manners with constantbut gentle reminders.

6 to 7 years - The child should be able to practice good manners (butinconsistently).

8 years and older - The child should be able to practice good manners withoutbeing reminded to do so.

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