Pohai Pulama March 2010 Newsletter

8/9/2019 Pohai Pulama March 2010 Newsletter

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Who would have every thought ancient Greek tragedies would become an integral part in the undestanding and healing of the human spirit of our Warriors. This dramatic and creative approach toproviding Service members and their families with the tools to provide self-care through storytel-

ling. You are probably flashing on scenes of Brad Pitt in 'Troy' or Gerard Butler in '300'. Well, youwill be really surprised as you take your seat to see a couple of actors sitting at a table on stage.Sounds a little anti-climatic. However, you will not be disappointed this experience will be life alte

ing as the art of performance gives you the perspective to identify behaviors that are directly re-

lated to combat trauma.

The Phai Plamais proud to announce that our Oahu community is one of the 50 Department of Dfense funded site visits this Spring. The production performance will take place in a variety of ven

ues throughout the island 19-23 April. I recommend you visit the PBS NewsHour link below to seefor yourselves.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/blog/2010/02/wednesday-on-the-newshour-

using-drama-to-understand-and-heal-the-wounds-of-war.html

Using Drama to Understand & Heal from theResidual Effects of Combat: 'Theater of War'

Phai Plama

How Many People Does it Take to Make a Difference.....The Power O

The power of the human spirit is beyond imagination. The wellspring of life, knows no bounds. Certainly there are times when our spirits shrink... theseare the times when we feel alone and lonely... when we are too tired to stanup to the cruelties life delivers... when we are too afraid to say no to injusticThe spirit gets trampled on the life journey, but this does not mean it can nolonger soar. It can. But it needs our care and attention. Just like every othpart of us, spirit needs nurturing. It is a living thing that needs constant sustenance. It thrives on a steady diet of beauty, love and gratitude. No mattewhere life has taken you or what it has handed you, you can decide today tonurture your spirit back to health... to bring back its power... to help it expato greater fullness than it has ever known. Decide to look for beauty. If itseems to be in short supply, create some. It doesn't take much... smile asomeone. Decide to look for expression of love. Choose to learn how to givlove and receive it back, then take a risk and practice doing it. You will getgood at it because this is what the spirit knows how to do best. Decide to sethe blessings in you they are there despite whatever turmoil or distress triesovershadow them. Express gratitude for them all. Turn your mind to beautlove and gratitude. These are your spirit's three nutritional requirements.Make a commitment to the health of your spirit. Take time to nurture it. Sehow every day that you feed it, you find that much more to give it the nextday. Feel the power of your spirit embracing all that life offers. Watch it soaas your life turns toward a future of peace, fulfillment, and joy.

Newsletter Topics

DoD sponsored Theater of

War 19-23 April 2010

US Pacific Regional Medical

Command Confidential

Alcohol Treatment &Education Program

Gratitude Exercise

Couples Corner: Building

Health Relationships

Comprehensive Soldier &

Family Fitness Program

15 March 2010

Editor: MAJ Tina Morgan

(808)258-3752 cell
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/blog/2010/02/wednesday-on-the-newshour-using-drama-to-understand-and-heal-the-wounds-of-war.htmlhttp://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/blog/2010/02/wednesday-on-the-newshour-using-drama-to-understand-and-heal-the-wounds-of-war.htmlhttp://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/blog/2010/02/wednesday-on-the-newshour-using-drama-to-understand-and-heal-the-wounds-of-war.htmlmailto:[email protected]?subject=Tina%20Morganmailto:[email protected]?subject=Tina%20Morganhttp://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/blog/2010/02/wednesday-on-the-newshour-using-drama-to-understand-and-heal-the-wounds-of-war.htmlhttp://www.pbs.org/newshour/art/blog/2010/02/wednesday-on-the-newshour-using-drama-to-understand-and-heal-the-wounds-of-war.html


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P A G E 2Pacific Regional Medical Command Confidential

Alcohol Treatment & Education Program

P H A I P L A M A

A pilot program underway now at some Army installations allows Soldiers who think they might have aproblem with alcohol to seek out help without risk to their careers.

The Confidential Alcohol Treatment and Education Pilot program allows Soldiers to self-refer into, and

seek treatment from the Army Substance Abuse Program, for problems with alcohol abuse, withouthaving their chain of command notified.

"What this allows Soldiers to do is to come in on their own before they have an incident to see

whether they have a problem or not," said Dr. Jim Slobodzien, acting clinical director of the ASAP atSchofield Barracks, Hawaii. "It's a time for us to do some brief counseling. Or, if we do an in-depth as-sessment and we do diagnose them with abuse or dependence -- to get them the proper treatment."

The Army will conduct the CATEP program at three installations, including Schofield Barracks, Hawaii;

Fort Lewis, Wash. and Fort Richardson, Alaska. The program runs through Feb. 24, 2010.

In recent years, the Army has seen an increase in use of alcohol amongst Soldiers, said Chief of Staffof the Army George W. Casey Jr.

"We've been at war for nearly eight years," the general said. "That has undeniably put a strain on our

people and our equipment. Unfortunately, in a growing segment of the Army's population, we haveseen increased stress and anxiety manifest itself through high risk behavior, including acts of violence,

excess use of alcohol, drug abuse, and reckless driving."

Soldiers are often cautioned about coming forward for help because seeking help may carry a stigmaof "weakness" and because being marked as having problems with alcohol can be damaging to a Sol-

dier's career. The CATEP program is designed to allow most Soldiers to seek help without damaging

their career due to delayed promotions or inability to reenlist, and to do so without their command'sknowledge.

"Their command is not informed," Casey said. "We've set up special hours, after duty hours on Satur-days and Sundays, where these appointments can be made where a Soldier who self-refers can go in

and get the care and counseling he needs and hopefully head off a problem before we end up in the

reactive mode."While the CATEP program is currently only a pilot, the information collected from the program will

eventually allow Army leaders to determine if the availability of confidentiality in treatment actually

encourages more Soldiers to self-refer.

The CATEP program began at Schofield Barracks in early July, and Slobodzien said since inception, ap-

proximately 31 percent of those referred to the ASAP have been CATEP eligible.

"We've been working with the ASAP program for 14 years and we think this is one of the major posi-tive improvements in the program and we would like to see it go Army-wide," he said. "Our hope is

Soldiers come in before they are hitting bottom and having the DUI or spouse-related incidents."

Most, but not all Soldiers are eligible for the program. Not eligible for the program are those Soldiers

involved in an alcohol or drug-related incident, who have a referral to treatment from their com-

mander, who did not complete a previous ASAP rehabilitation due to deployment, who tested positivefor illicit use in a unit urine drug screen, or who sought treatment for drug abuse within the past 12

months.

For Soldiers currently assigned to the personal reliability program and certain military occupationalspecialties, e.g., aviation, health care, parachute rigger, etc., Army regulations still require command

notification upon enrollment at the ASAP clinic, but they can still benefit from the career protections

that the CATEP offers, and are encouraged to participate.

Source: Army News Service, July 20, 2009


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"By doing the gratitude exercise," says Dr. Ben-Shahar, "we remind ourselves of the miraclethat exists around us. The key is to learn to look at life anew at every moment, rejoicing in

the here and now, celebrating what we have."

P A G E 3

1. Set aside two or three minutes a day to do the gratitude exercise. The end of the day is agood time for many people.

2. Find a quiet place where you can reflect.

3. Have a pen and paper or small notebook to write down your thoughts.

4. Write down at least five things for which you are grateful that happened during the day.

5. Write down everything for which you are grateful, from enjoying the sunrise to appreciating

your family or friends or a meal. "When writing things down," says Dr. Ben-Shahar, "fill your-

self up with the emotion of gratitude. Experience it while writing it down."

6. Take your time. Don't rush through the exercise or allow yourself to just go through the mo-tions. Stay focused on the act of gratitude. "The key while doing the exercise is to focus,"

says Dr. Ben-Shahar. "Become mindful rather than doing the exercise as a matter of routineon autopilot."

7. Do the gratitude exercise every so often with others -- with your partner or child or parent.

8. Practice doing the gratitude exercise for at least a month, until it becomes a habit. A monthis about the period of time it takes to form a new habit.

Gratitude Exercise

One of the greatest gifts we can give to our self or anyone else is inspiration. Inspiration

to get in touch with our dreams, Inspiration to make a difference in our world, adifference that only we can make. This is not a book about success; its a book about

significance. Its not a book about making a living; its a book about making a life. Itsnot about fame or acclaim; its about contribution and service. Instead of asking, What

can we get from life?, watch what happens when we ask, What can we give?


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P A G E 4

Couples CornerWe've both got jobs to do, a household to run, and maybe even children to raise. So the time we

spend alone together is limited. How can busy spouses, especially those dealing with a military life-

style, build a sound, lasting relationship in such a high-speed, ever changing world? A loving relation-ship needs careful attention and constant nurturing. But it's easy to lose sight of that when we're rac-ing through the day, trying to meet so many other demands. Here are some suggestions to help us

cultivate quality and endurance in our marriage, so that it will go the distance.

The heart of the matter

What makes us a great couple? It may begin with knowing ourselves and not trying to change eachother. Loving, long-term partnerships aren't born. They grow from a rich feeding on acceptance, com-mitment, ritual, and empathy. Here are some strategies to help us strengthen our connection:

1. Adjust your expectations. Accept our self and our spouse as you are now. It's natural to wantthe "honeymoon phase" to last forever. But it doesn't. Over time, both we and our spouse will

change, and the relationship itself will change as our lives become more complicated -- after

we start a family, for instance, are transferred to a new installation, or experience our first ex-tended separation due to deployment. We may find that we've lost some of the spontaneitythat we once enjoyed, or perhaps our emotional needs have shifted because work takes more

of our energy. If you accept that relationships evolve, we won't be disappointed when the hon-eymoon phase ends and another stage in your real life as a couple begins.

2. Date each other. Spend time alone together to re-ignite the intimacy and romance in our rela-tionship. It will help you remember what brought us together in the first place. It's importantto "make" the time to be alone together, because we are unlikely, especially with the unique

demands of a military lifestyle, just to "find" it. Once a week or once a month, schedule the

kind of date we had when we were single or before we began our family. Agree not to discussthe children, the in-laws, or finances. Dress up and go out to dinner, see a movie, or spend a"quality" evening at home with the phone turned off.

3. Take turns planning the activities we'll do together. If we want to sustain our passion and rap-port, romance must be an ongoing part of our relationship -- not something that's limited to

birthdays and anniversaries.

4. Become friends. It's not enough to love our spouse, and it's never too late to become truecompanions. For long-term happiness, couples need to genuinely like each other -- to be both

lovers and friends. Friendship develops from shared values and mutual empathy. Spend moretime having fun. Get involved in a "joint venture" that interests us both -- gardening, making

home improvements, or volunteering at church. Or take up a new hobby together, like danc-ing, jogging, or coaching our child's softball team.

5. Create rituals. They're the cement that helps hold a relationship together. The rituals we cre-ate together become familiar shared pleasures we can look forward to when we're dealing with

challenges at work or in the other parts of our lives. Rituals take many forms: a goodbye kissbefore work, breakfast in bed with the crossword puzzle on weekends, or an annual holidayshopping trip together. Develop our own rituals for daily life and holidays. Then practice them.

They will enrich your lives by providing stability -- acts of beauty, joy, and tenderness we know

we'll have whenever we're together.

P H A I P L A M A


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Partnerships Take Maintenance

P A G E 5

"Maintenance" might sound like something for your car, but in fact anything we value and thatwe want to last needs attention and care. And we want our relationship to stay solid and run

smoothly for years to come. The biggest part of maintaining our relationship may be awareness-- noticing how each of us feel, and acknowledging the things that need to change to keepthings functioning well. Here are a few practical tips from the relationship maintenance manual:

1. Take the pulse of our relationship. Just as we take stock of our career periodically, lookcarefully at our relationship from time to time and work toward making the changes we

want and need. What makes each of us feel close as a couple? Is it physical affection?

Relaxing together? Talking over coffee after the kids are in bed?

2. Discuss how we're feeling about the time we spend together. Is it enough? Do we wish it

were a higher priority for our spouse? Are we communicating clearly, honestly, and fre-quently about things that bother us? Or are we seething in silence about something thathappened weeks, months, or maybe even years ago? Put all the issues on the table and

begin making the compromises that will bring us into more harmony.3. Make a habit of talking frequently. Just a quick phone call from work to "touch base" can

help remind you of the priority of our relationship and give you both a sense of continu-

ity. Some people use a phone call during the day as a way to settle family business, sothat when they do get home they are freer to simply enjoy each other's company. If de-

ployed, be creative. As phone calls can be costly or simply not an option, use e-mail orwrite notes of love and support in advance. Make sure notes are sealed in separate enve-

lopes to be opened on specified dates. This small gesture can play a major role in assur-

ing our spouse that he or she is loved and appreciated.

4. Plan in advance for getting around roadblocks. It's helpful to "pre-discuss" situations that

we already know cause friction between us. For example, we may have disagreementsabout who stays home from work when a child is sick or how you want to celebrate the

holidays. Mapping out a game plan in advance will help us deal with such occasions whenthey arrive. Remember that compromise and teamwork are key. Ask yourselves, "Whatare the two of us going to do to solve this problem?"

5. Share household chores. Research shows that women spend more time on household

chores than men do. Working women can feel as if they have two jobs -- the one they goto and the one they come home to each day. The result is often a mountain of resent-ment. Running the household together takes work on the part of both partners. Men may

need to play a bigger role, and women may need to stop criticizing their partners for do-ing chores "the wrong way." (After all, there may be more than one way to scrub thesink or do the laundry.) Try rotating chores to minimize the boredom and drudgery fac-

tors. For example, suggest, "I'll cook if you'll clean up tonight."

6. Be flexible. No matter how well we and our spouse talk about our differences, we won'tagree on everything. And that's normal. In fact, our differences are probably part of

what attracted us to each other in the first place. Recognize that not all differences of

opinion have to be resolved. Sometimes we just need to agree to disagree -- and be will-ing to listen to our spouse's point of view.

7. Give each other space. Our relationship will be stronger and more interesting if we giveour spouse time and space without us. Remember that one person can't possibly meet

all our needs. Both us and our spouse must keep and nurture outside friendships and

interests.


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P A G E 6

Fighting Fairly

It's inevitable that we and our spouse have conflicts and disagreements. Everyone does. In fact,

conflict is a natural consequence of living intimately with another person. Expect to have differ-ences of opinion and sometimes major eruptions with our spouse. But also learn to fight fairly.

1. Don't say hurtful things when we fight. It's hard to show restraint in the heat of an argu-ment, but it's important that we both try. Fights are part of a relationship, and they canactually be productive. But when fights include words designed to hurt, they can poison a

relationship. Think about what we say in an argument. Even when we're angry, avoid using

the words that we know will hurt our partner.

2. Find the strength to apologize after a fight. Both of us probably said things we wish we

hadn't. And it's sometimes a matter of childish pride to wait for the other to apologize first.

Find the strength to say we're sorry. It will do wonders at smoothing over the rough feel-ings left after the argument.

3. When we've had an argument, schedule a time to talk about what happened. Choose atime that's convenient for both of us and a place where we can really concentrate and hear

each other. Sometimes it helps to get out of familiar surroundings to review a conflict. It

can give us perspective. Go for a walk in the park. Drive to another part of town. Sit in acoffee shop.

4. Take turns explaining why we're angry -- and listen to each other without interrupting.

When we are talking, make an effort to keep our tone neutral. Use about as much emotionas we would to say, "Please pass the salt."

5. Be respectful. Listen courteously while your spouse expresses feelings and needs, and ac-

knowledge them. Don't belittle his perspective.

6. Make "I" statements that express our feelings ("I feel hurt when people leave the dinnertable without thanking me for cooking") instead of "you" statements, which assign blame("You're selfish because you leave the dinner table . . ."). Never give advice, unless our

spouse specifically requests it.

7. Take care to avoid words or phrases we know are offensive to our spouse and have madefights escalate in the past.

8. Keep our focus on the issue at hand. Avoid the temptation to resurrect events and"evidence" from our history as a couple.

9. If we are in the wrong, practice the lost art of apologizing. Simple words like, "What I didwas not OK. I'm sorry," can often dissolve a resentment on the spot.

10. Brainstorm together and decide on two or three constructive solutions we are willing to try

on our current problem.

11. Agree on the first strategy we'll try. Make a plan and put it into action for a specific periodof time, say a week or 10 days. Then check back with each other later to see if the plan is

working.

Saying "thanks" will remind us of our spouse's efforts. Hearing it will make our spouse feel valued

and encourage more of the same actions. Make showing and giving verbal appreciation to our

spouse a daily habit.

P H A I P L A M A


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Ten Tips for Building a Strong Relationship

P A G E 7

Ten Tips for Building a Strong Relationship

When we hear about couples who maintain a strong relationship through all of life's challenges, wemay wonder how they do it. Many of these couples have faced the same kinds of difficulties that

can lead to break-ups for other people, such as financial problems, trouble with in-laws, or differ-ences in interests or personalities. But somehow, these couples have stayed together while others

haven't. For a long time marriage counselors and others thought that couples had the best chanceof staying together if they had similar backgrounds and interests. But recently, experts have a dif-

ferent view. Many people now believe that common backgrounds and interests may be less impor-

tant than other factors, such as how couples handle disagreements or differences about values orhow committed they are. Every couple is different, so there's no one-size-fits-all formula for a good

relationship. But people who've stayed together for a long time tend to have some of the same

things in common. Here are ten tips based on the conclusions experts have drawn from studying

successful relationships.

1. Have a strong commitment to making your relationship work

2. Think of yourselves as friends, not just as a couple

3. Accept each other's limitations

4. See yourselves as equal partners

5. Pay attention to how you communicate

6. Develop a support system

7. Handle disagreements constructively

8. Make sure each of you has some privacy and independence

9. Share rituals and traditions

10. Have fun


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You are not here by mistake. Around the world and down through the ages there has never been another you,

and there will never be another you. The miracle of your existence is now in your hands.

You are here for a purpose. You have something that only you can give to the world.

Take time to consider what that is.

Our organization has showcased a new conceptual framework, Comprehensive Soldier Fitness, tofoster a holistic approach in caring for our communitys dynamic needs. Leaders lets take the time

to reflect on our childhood experiences. How did our parents/parental guardians foster our well-

being? Most of what we learn as children is a direct reflection of our environment. These healthy/

unhealthy modeled behaviors reflect who we are today as individuals. We are tasked with a,sometimes overwhelming, responsibility to personally and professional develop our Soldiers and

their families. We are sure some of us are not sure where/how to start. This column will provideus with a monthly exercise to integrate into our daily battle rhythm. This exercise serves two pur-poses.

1. It is a proactive way to improve our holistic well-being by role modeling healthy behaviors forour leaders, peers and subordinates to immolate.

2. Our efforts will serve both as a preventive and treatment approach in caring for the needs of

our unique community.

March: Open up meetings/counseling sessions with taking 3-5 minutes to complete a mindfulness

group exercise. This therapeutic technique will allow the team members and leaders to take time

to break the flow of negative kinetic energy. Visit UCLAs Mindfulness Awareness Research Center,www.marc.ucla.edu, to experience the positive psychology of mindfulness exercises.

April: At the end of the day in a small, platoon/squad size, group ask your Soldiers/staff how

have I helped you be successful today?. Then allow each team member ask the same question.It is critical that each team member get to share and receive honest feedback as a valued member

of the team.

Comprehensive Soldier & Family Fitness Program: 30 Day Step Process to Changing Our Organizational

Comprehensive Soldier & Family Fitness Reading List

Anatomy of the SpiritCaroline Myss, Ph.D.

Findhorn Retreat Stillness Amidst the WorldEckhart Tolle

Healing Trauma

Peter A. Levine, Ph.D.

How to Lead & Still Have a Life

H. Dale Burke

Positive EnergyJudith Orloff, M.D.

Authentic Happiness

Martin Seligman, Ph.D

Purpose Driven Life

Eckhart Tolle.
http://www.marc.ucla.edu/http://www.marc.ucla.edu/http://www.marc.ucla.edu/http://www.marc.ucla.edu/

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Pohai Pulama March 2010 Newsletter