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JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | NOVEMBER 11-17, 2015

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JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | NOVEMBER 11-17, 2015

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PUBLISHERCopperfield Publishing, John SaltasGENERAL MANAGER Andy Sutcliffe / [email protected] EDITOR Robyn Vincent / [email protected] DIRECTOR Cait Lee / [email protected] DIRECTOR Jen Tillotson / [email protected]

SALES EXTRAORDINAIRECaroline Zieleniewski / [email protected] EDITOR Brielle SchaefferCONTRIBUTORS Craig Benjamin, Mike Bressler, Rob Brezsny, Ryan Burke, Aaron Davis, Kelsey Dayton, Elizabeth Koutrelakos, Carol Mann, Andrew Munz, Jake Nichols, Ted Scheffler, Josi Stephens, Tom Tomorrow, Jim Woodmencey

JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 13 | ISSUE 44 | NOVEMBER 11-17, 2015

567 W. BROADWAY | P.O. BOX 3249 | JACKSON, WYOMING 83001307-732-0299 | WWW.PLANETJH.COM

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THE PLANET TEAM

COVER STORY10

November 11, 2015By Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey

I would like to ask everyone to pause for a moment; not think about the weather, or when it might snow next, or how big

of a winter are we going to have, or what El Nino will do for Jackson. This Veteran’s Day, November 11th, find time to thank those who have served this country in the military. Thank them for allowing us the freedom to be able to live the way we do, play the way we do, and that our biggest worries are as trivial as, “what’s the weather going to do”.

Carpet - Tile - Hardwood - LaminateBlinds - Shades - Drapery

Mon - Fri 10am - 6pm Open Tuesdays until 8pm1705 High School Rd Suite 120 Jackson, WY

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This past weekend it got down to 12-degrees in town, which is as cold as it has been so far this November. Last year we had a cold snap that dropped temperatures to 22-degrees below zero on November 16 and 17, 2014. The high temperature those days were in the mid-teens. The coldest it has ever been here in Jackson during this week is 27-degrees below zero. That also happened on November 16th, back in 1955.

While I don’t expect it to get hot anytime soon, there have been some November’s that were almost summer-like. November 1999 was the warmest on record, with 10 days in the first two weeks of the month that had high temperatures over 60-degrees. Record high temperatures were established each day between November 11th and 14th, with the hottest of those being 63-degrees on November 13th, 1999.

JH ALMANAC

Jim has been forecasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole Weather

information at www.mountainweather.com

SPONSORED BY GRAND TETON FLOOR & WINDOW COVERINGS

NORMAL HIGHNORMAL LOWRECORD HIGH IN 1999RECORD LOW IN 1955

411763

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WHAT’S COOL WHAT’S HOT

THE DEATH OF SUPERMANWhen adventure athletes become human. Cover photo illustration by Cait Lee

5 GUEST OPINION

6 THE BUZZ

9 THEM ON US

16 MUSIC BOX

19 WELL, THAT HAPPENED

24 IMBIBE

30 SATIRE

AVERAGE PRECIPITATION: 1.3 inches

RECORD PRECIPITATION: 4.24 inches (1988)

AVERAGE SNOWFALL: 9.3 inches

RECORD SNOWFALL: 40 inches

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Potholes to Pot Three years ago, Wyoming was road

blocked on the path to legalizing medical cannabis by major obstructionist thinking among not only our legislators, but by a main part of our citizenry as well. But there has been a change in thinking since Colorado’s legalization of recreational cannabis in many areas of Wyoming. What has turned those Boulders into mere Potholes since?

First, the dawning realization that, despite the negative publicity to start, the idea that people will DIE from using pot has been pretty well debunked by the facts. There were several reported overdoses of edi-ble cannabis when they first appeared on the market in Colorado, which has now tightened up its packaging and labeling rules to help prevent other incidents. These cases were mainly children whose concerned parents followed standard overdose and poisoning medical protocol in taking children to be observed in an Emergency Room for adverse events. The worst that happened? They slept it off. The best thing that happened – no one died of overdosing on medibles – the stron-gest dosages of pot. No one has died since despite claims that an accidental fall was “possibly” caused by ingestion of a cookie. One of how many thousands that had no adverse effects? Much better than the stats on Wyoming manufactured OxyContin, without a doubt. Wyoming Whiskey too, for that mat-ter. Got a brew pub in your town?

Secondly, there is a growing awareness in the media and among the local and nation-al populace that medical marijuana works! From epilepsy to Multiple Sclerosis and from spinal stenosis to ADD, people find benefit from cannabis in its many, many forms and means of delivery. Whether smoked, vaped, dropped as oil on the tongue, and in many new and different adaptations of itself, the benefits by far exceed the risks – all but one, that is. Which brings us to point number three.

The only risk left to assess regarding cannabis legalization is in how the current

political climate will change when the legal-ization movement succeeds. That’s what Gov. Matt Mead’s task force is really doing. They are weighing how much MONEY Wyoming will lose by alienating Big Pharma backers. Most of the task force is made up of people who are vested in keeping asset forfeiture laws a sure thing in their secondary budgets and they aren’t willing to give up a thing, even if it’s the best thing for Wyoming peo-ple. Well, we are the people, with the power to change things. The power to vote them out if they don’t agree with what we, the people of Wyoming bring. Why is this lette titled “Potholes”? Because the only thing the task force can use to block us is a few bumps in the road on our way to collecting 50,000 sig-natures. Then it’s a smooth ride. Their road-blocks on the legal and factual side are about to be blown down.

Legalization is reducing dangerous drug use everywhere it has been implemented. Why not here too? I see no more roadblocks here, only potholes.

Please support the Peggy A. Kelley Wyoming Cannabis Act of 2016. I like Wyoming NORML’s motto: Turning a red state green in 2016. (I’m humming a few bars of Willie here.)

–Mariah KazeJackson, WY

Mixed Messages Hurt TeensIn The Planet’s feature “Identity Crisis”

by Andrew Munz (Nov. 4, 2015), he recounts his teen experiences of consuming alcohol: “more often than not in a safe environment.” This seems  to  indicate as long as you are in  the  right place, alcohol is safe (no men-tion of alcohol poisoning or  the  impulsivity of intoxicated teens,  the  resulting problems such as sexual assault or the fact that addic-tion is often formed in teen years).

I do agree with Mr. Munz that demonizing teens is inappropriate. By nature, they are

going  to  test boundaries occasionally and that’s OK, it’s our job (as adults) to give them safe structures  to  learn and grow in. While teens will experiment with alcohol, they do not need enabling messages from adults that it is OK or “safe” to do so, because it’s not.

  I have worked in substance abuse treat-ment with adults and teens here in Teton County and two of the most troubling aspects of addiction are: it starts young and is so difficult  to  overcome.  While most drinkers drink in a relatively safe way, many do not and ignoring this fact is a disservice  to  our community despite  the  “legacy” of party-ing that teens apparently are trying  to  mea-sure up to. Eighty-eight percent of arrests in Teton County are alcohol related – the adults are struggling with alcohol, no wonder it’s a challenge for our youth.

 As Lieutenant Cole Nethercott accurately stated in  the  article it’s  the  “mixed messag-es” from adults in this community that sig-nificantly impact  the  attitudes of our teens.  Appropriate messages, boundaries and enforcement help keep teens from making serious mistakes.  Teens do not necessarily like this, but I support Mayor Flitner’s posi-tion of “keeping kids safe and alive” because preventing a tragedy is always  the  best option, even if the side effect is boredom. 

  Mr. Munz quoted  the  2014 Wyoming Prevention Needs Assessment, but he did not quote  the  binge drinking statistics for teens in Teton County, which are among the high-est in  the  state. There are myriad reasons for this and  the  enabling behaviors (provid-ing alcohol), role modeling and messages from  adults are among  the  most concern-ing.

The real “Identity Crisis” is in our adults.So we can choose  to  support  the  safe devel-opment of our youth or continue with mes-sages and role modeling that influences young people in unhelpful ways.

–Matt Stech, MS, LPCJackson, WY

JAKE

JO

SLYN

Is the adult populace sending too many mixed messages to young people in Jackson?

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Crosstown TrafficTransit is the ticket to tackling seasonal vehicular madness.BY CRAIG BENJAMIN

We all felt it this summer, and it didn’t feel good. Seasonal traffic congestion that was worse than

ever. On one particular Wednesday, it felt utterly terrible.

On Wednesday, August 5, I spent an incredible day hiking up Breccia Peak with my brother and an old friend enjoying stunning views, sunshine, and the oblig-atory Wyoming hail storm (which the dog did not enjoy). After an awe-inspiring stop at Dornan’s, where we got to witness the power of a summer thunderstorm electro-cuting the Tetons, we tried to head south into town. As we descended the hill next to the Fish Hatchery all we could see was a line of stopped cars snaking all the way into town. Having an option, we pulled a u-turn and jogged over to Spring Gulch Rd. We were home in no time. My parents and my daugh-ter Piper weren’t so lucky.

That same day my parents left the Aspens around 4:30 p.m. with my six-year-old daugh-ter Piper, heading into town to meet us at our place for dinner. When I called them to let them know we might be late because of our unplanned detour they explained they were stuck in traffic on Hwy 390 and not moving. They had tried a similar move to what I pulled when they recognized the high-way was blocked and attempted to take the Moose-Wilson road, but the park had just closed it for dust abatement application. So now they were stuck near the Village with no options. Nixle told me there was an accident blocking Hwy 390 near the Aspens so I told them their best (and only real) option was to stay calm and wait for it to clear.

This accident was one in a series that week which completely jammed up our val-ley – I’d bet you too found yourself in one of these messes. After two hours the accident cleared and they began creeping south. My Mom called and explained, “The good news is we’re moving. The bad news is Piper isn’t feeling well and just threw up in the car. We’ll get her home, only three hours late.”

While these accidents made things worse, the “new normal” traffic situation this sum-mer was miserable from the start. This sum-mer seasonal congestion caused daily back-ups from town past the Fish Hatchery to the north, over Teton Pass in the west, and to Hoback in the south. Traffic you would sit in, trying to stay calm, checking your phone to see if you had a Nixle alert explaining the cause of the congestion, and then realizing

it’s just a normal Tuesday in the summer in Jackson Hole.

Here’s the thing – we know how to address seasonal traffic congestion, because we’ve done it before.

More than two decades ago, a new mas-ter plan at Teton Village raised concerns about increasing traffic on Hwy 390 during the winter. Our community had to make a choice: invest in making it more convenient to take transit to the Village than it is to drive, or widen Hwy 390. Fortunately, we made the right call and now taking transit to the Village in the winter is easy and convenient, while Hwy 390 has remained a 2-lane road.

Now, summer seasonal traffic congestion is degrading our quality of life, the expe-rience of visitors, and the efficiency of our business operations, while threatening the safety of people and wildlife on our roads. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Jackson Hole stands at a crossroads. We can do nothing and let seasonal congestion continue to degrade our quality of life. We could also take a 1950s approach and widen the highways that divide our community; although that would be the traffic equivalent of buying bigger pants to deal with a weight problem. This won’t address our congestion challenges, would put additional stress on wildlife, and does not align with our commu-nity’s values.

Or, we can get serious about investing in transit because it’s our ticket to tackling sea-sonal congestion. Fortunately, our recent-ly adopted Integrated Transportation Plan (ITP) provides a blueprint for how we can make transit an easy and convenient way for most of us to get where we need to go.

Now, we need to find a dedicated and con-sistent funding source for the transit infra-structure and operations detailed in the ITP. In addition, we should fund investments that make it safe and convenient for people to

reach transit on foot and bike. Low-cost and high return investments like sidewalks, bike parking, and a bike share program.

In addition, we should recognize that we don’t simply have a traffic problem; we have a housing and land use problem. Since too many hard working families can’t afford to live here, they are forced to commute long distances over the pass and down the can-yon, clogging our roads. We should focus transit investments on making it feasible for more people to commute by bus from Alpine, Star Valley, Victor, and Driggs. We should also invest in our recently adopted Housing Action Plan to help ensure at least two thirds of people who work here can live here.

Finally, we must engage Grand Teton National Park in developing transit solutions, as the park is one of our community’s pri-mary traffic generators in the summer. The park should take a harder look at transit in the Environmental Impact Statement for the Moose-Wilson Corridor, because our com-munity’s success on Hwy 390 demonstrates that transit can help with our congestion challenges. This is why the Alliance is part-nering with the Teton Village Association to convene a discussion with the park and other key stakeholders about how we can work together to address our congestion challenges.

This won’t be easy, nor will it happen over-night, but if we get serious about dealing with our traffic congestion by providing people with transportation choices through invest-ments in transit, bicycling, and walking, we can provide most people with the freedom to safely and conveniently get where they need to go. PJH

Craig Benjamin is the executive director of the Jackson Hole Conservation Alliance.

Email comments to [email protected].

GUEST OPINION

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While many folks opt to use mass transit in the winter, Jackson’s summer season is becoming synonymous with vexatious traffic. But as the author of this column often likes to point out, it

doesn’t have to be this way.

The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners

and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of

the JH News and Guide.

For allMEETING AGENDAS

AND MINUTESWEEKLY CALENDAR

JOB OPENINGSSOLICITATIONS FOR BIDS

PUBLIC NOTICESAND OTHER

VALUABLE INFORMATION

Visit our websiteTetonWyo.org

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Well-Read, Well-FedIn an increasingly digital world, the battle to reignite a love for books holds major weight.BY JAKE NICHOLS

We don’t read. Statistically, a third of those who begin this article won’t make it halfway through. More than half won’t ever make it to the nut graph. Far

less than that know what a nut graph is. Reading this online? It gets worse. Scrolling takes such monumental “effort” that one out every 10 readers won’t bother getting past the first couple of paragraphs that appear on page load. If you make it to the end, congratulate yourself, you’re among the 38 per-cent that read a news article start-to-finish, according to data compiled by the traffic analysis firm Chartbeat.

“Reading is a difficult skill to master,” Dr. Susan Wise Bauer admitted early in her 90-minute presentation at the Jackson Hole Classical Academy last Thursday. The national-ly renowned author/historian has been sharing her passion for reading, and how classical schools and homeschooling parents can foster the same in their students and children. The 47-year-old has been helping the private school develop a reading list, curriculum and teaching methods that will inspire kids to want to read.

Reading for pleasure is practically a lost art. Blame online “bouncing,” where a tweet or email or popup can disrupt any semblance of concentration. At the coffee shop or in the bath-room, print reading sessions are equally brief – interrupted by the demands of an on-the-go society. Game rooms and theatres have replaced home studies. Libraries across the country are tossing shelves of books to make room for com-puter terminals and Xbox stations. How often do millennials read materials that do not include hashtags?

Nerds are the new bookwormsNeither Internet nor television killed reading; it’s been

on the decline for centuries, says Wise Bauer. Remember Reading is FUNdamental? The leading literacy nonprof-it launched in 1966, offering access to books for millions of underprivileged children. Is their work even relevant

anymore?A 2004 National Endowment for the Arts study called

Reading At Risk: A Survey of Literary Reading in America, discovered an alarming decline in literature reading in the American population. Data collected over a 20-year span showed that only 47 percent of Americans read works of lit-erature. That’s down from 54 percent in 1992 and 57 percent in 1982. The numbers are dismal across all ethnic, economic, and age groups. Another survey by Harris Interactive found the bedtime story is a thing of the past. Only a third of parents read to their kids regularly.

Are we becoming a nation of dummies? “I’m surprised at the popularity of a book series market-

ed with the selling point being ‘for dummies,’” Wise Bauer said, referring to the popular reference book series, “For Dummies,” during her talk. “Are that many people identi-fying with that? Do they read the title – for Dummies – and think, ‘Yep, that’s for me.’”

Wise Bauer says most adults feel undereducated and inad-equate. Part of the problem has been a dogged persistence in traditional passive classroom learning that failed to chal-lenge or inspire young readers. “The classical model changes that,” Wise Bauer said. “It incorporates more reading instead of classroom learning.”

Wise Bauer reminisced about a bygone era when many men and women educated themselves through reading. Abraham Lincoln was an avid reader who advocated the power of wisdom gained through the written word. “The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who’ll get me a book I ain’t read,” he is quoted saying. Wise Bauer also mentioned women of the 18th and 19th centuries, who were not usually afforded the opportunity to go to col-lege, often bettered themselves through reading books like “The Improvement of the Mind” (Isaac Watts, 1810).

Reading is fundamental“There are two types of reading,” Wise Bauer said, “a 10th

grade reading level, where you are able to handle things like Stephen King and People Magazine; and then a higher level where you take on works like The Odyssey and Plato. These are tougher books to grasp but that’s normal.”

Wise Bauer pointed out three stages of understanding every reader should be working through. At the beginning, Level 1 reading skills are purely grammatical. “Just get through the book,” she said. “Understanding a third of a fin-ished book is better than putting one down.”

Later, as skills improve, readers should be tasting and

swallowing works. “If it’s fiction, ask yourself, ‘was I persuad-ed?’ If it’s a history book, were you transported?” Wise Bauer said of the Level 2 Logic Stage. Finally, a master reader should enter Level 3, or the Rhetoric stage of reading where, with the help of a book club or others, readers should be digest-ing materials and asking deeper questions. “What does the writer want me to do, to believe, or to experience?” she said. “Do I agree with the author? This is commonly referred to as Socratic dialogue.”

Experts point out the importance of creating a passion for reading early in childhood. Reading improves concentration while developing imagination and empathy. “It exercises the brain, which, like any organ, needs a workout to get stronger,” Wise Bauer said. Studies show avid readers improve their test scores. Not just in English, but in math and sciences as well.

Literacy rates are on the decline. Sixty-six percent of American fourth grade students scored “below proficient” on the 2013 National Assessment of Education Progress (NAEP) reading test; 36 percent of eighth graders were below profi-cient, with 22 percent falling below a “basic” level.

Public schools in Wyoming have performed much better, however. NEAP data for 2015 has state students scoring 228 compared to a 221 nationwide average for fourth graders. Eighth grade students in Wyoming came in at a NAEP score of 269 for reading, compared to the U.S. average of 264.

Teton County School District No. 1 boasted lofty results as well. According to Tracy Poduska, the district’s director of teaching and learning, the PAWS March 2015 test results were encouraging. Sixty-six percent of fourth grade students land-ed at proficient or advanced (compared to the state average of 60 percent), while 59 percent of eighth graders were found reading at a proficient or advanced level (compared to the state average of 52 percent).

At the high school level, Jackson Hole High School seniors scored 23 in Reading on the 2014 ACT as compared to the national benchmark of 22. Math and science scores in Wyoming continue to languish, however, at all grade levels.

It’s never too late to pick up a book that can feed and awaken the mind, something to be considered across the age spectrum. Wise Bauer said adults should make dedicated space for self-education. “You need to create chasms of time to read. And guard your reading time,” she said. “Morning usually is better than night. Don’t open emails first. Create a place of no distractions. Start with just 20 minutes a day. And don’t worry about speed. In today’s world, we view slow as bad and fast as good. Reading should be a time for your mind and body to calm down.” PJH

THE BUZZ

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Small illuminated screens are more readily accessible than books these days.

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Annals of JusticeA 2015 decision of the Georgia Supreme Court has created a puzzle for drunk driv- er enforcement. In Georgia (and other states), blood alcohol tests are “voluntary” (to bypass the issue of whether drivers can be forced, or even pressured, to endure a test that ultimately helps to convict them), but the Georgia court has ruled, against custom, that a “consenting” driver might be “too” drunk to appre-ciate the consent—in which case, the test results would be inadmissible in court. Equally awkwardly, prosecutors would be forced to argue that the drunk driver—too drunk to handle a motor vehi-cle—was still sober enough to give knowledgeable consent. Atlanta’s WSB-TV reported in October that judges statewide are grappling with the issue.

Recurring Themes (Recent Instances of Familiar Weird Behaviors)Funerals and burials, in the United States and elsewhere, are no longer always so staid. Most famously, one man was, per his instructions, low-ered to the ground inside his beloved Cadillac; dressing corpses in fanciful outfits (such as the Green Lantern) is not unheard of. In October, after Mr. Jomar Aguayo Collazo, 23, was killed in a shootout in San Juan, Puerto Rico, the family outfitted his body in his favorite blue tracksuit and propped him up at a table in his mother’s tavern (“playing” dominoes and holding a drink and a condom)—as friends and relatives passed by to pay their respects.

n The list of all-time extreme body modifiers would start with the late Dennis “Stalking Cat” Avner (who incrementally cut, chipped, tattooed, pierced and implanted his body to make himself a human feline) and the similarly obsessive Erik “Lizardman” Sprague, who at one time toured with the Jim Rose Circus. Newer to the scene is Britain’s Ted Richards, 57, working to become a human parrot. With 110 colorful tattoos, 50 piercings and a split tongue, he currently seeks a surgeon to turn his nose into a beak. Even without the beak, though, Richard says becoming parrotlike “is the best thing that has happened to me.” (London’s Daily Telegraph, publishing astonishing photos of Richards, asked, rhetorically, whether we’ve reached “peak plastic surgery.”)

n In October, a 20-year-old man in Macomb Township, Michigan, became the most recent alleged drunk driver to reveal himself in the most awkward of ways: by accidentally swerving into the midst of a sheriff’s deputies’ roadside stop—of another alleged drunk driver. (Coincidentally, both arrestees are 20 and registered matching 0.17 blood-alcohol readings.)

n College “Inclusiveness” to the Next Level: “Service” animals (mostly guide dogs) are ones that have been specially trained to provide help for people with disabilities, but untrained “comfort” animals are also privileged for those diagnosed

with panic attacks or depression. In an October report on college students hoping to keep their pets in no-an-imal dorms, The New York Times

noted that school officials have entertained stu-dent requests for the “comfort” of (besides dogs and cats) lizards, potbellied pigs, tarantulas, ferrets, guinea pigs and “sugar gliders” (nocturnal, flying, six-ounce Australian marsupials). Informal Justice Department guidelines rule out only animals that are aggressive or destructive or that trigger other students’ allergies.

n Raised Right—or Snitch-in-Training? In September, Audrey McColm, 25, traffic-stopped in Randolph County, Indiana, for driving “erratic(ally),” became the latest parent ratted out by her child. When Mom denied having been drinking, her daughter, 7, blurted out, “Yes, you have, Mom.” McColm registered 0.237, had nearly hit another officer’s car head-on, and was so hammered that she “urged” a different officer to “shoot her in the head.”

n A chapter of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals undertook one of its favorite con-sciousness-raising tactics in August, demanding that Pennsylvania officials erect a roadside grave marker near Lancaster at the spot where a trac-tor-trailer hauling 80 pigs overturned, killing sev-eral of them. The “terrified animals” that suffered traumatic deaths should be memorialized by the community, PETA said. The pigs, of course, would have eventually found their way to a slaughter-house, and it is possible that the ones euthanized as a result of the accident passed more peacefully than the “survivors.”

n In October, The Washington Post and the New York Post separately reported recent episodes of government agencies keeping high-earning employees on the payroll for more than a year, with no job assignment, because the agencies were unable to adjudicate their misconduct cases. Almost 100 shelved Homeland Security employ-ees turned up in a Washington Post Freedom of Information Act request, and one information technology analyst warehoused by the New York City employee pension fund said she had earned $1.3 million over 10 years doing absolutely no work for the city. “I watched movies,” said Niki Murphy. “I crocheted—right in front of (supervisors).”

n Drivers who blindly follow their vehicle’s satellite navigation with disastrous results are almost No Longer Weird, but a truck driver’s mishap in Ashton, England, in October still seemed worthy of report-ing—in that he was working for a company called Dachser Intelligent Logistics when his tractor-trail-er got stuck in a narrow alley (directed there by the sat-nav, in violation of all common sense). (Bonus: It was not the first time sat-nav had misdirected a vehicle into the same alley; the town had even placed a formal traffic sign at the approach to the alley: “Do Not Follow Sat Nav Next Left.”)

Updatesn In October, the federal government finally unloaded the two New Hampshire properties it seized in 2007 from dentist Elaine Brown and her husband (after a nine-month standoff fol-lowing their vow to die rather than pay their back taxes to the IRS). Their 100-acre “compound” became a magnet at the time for an array of “sov-ereigns” and tax-resisters, who were rumored to have booby-trapped the property to ward off law enforcement—and the 2015 auction only partially guaranteed that the property was free of hid-den explosives. (News of the Weird’s 2007 story included Dr. Brown as one of three U.S. dentists who, independent of each other, had become obsessed about federal taxes. The Browns are serving 30-year prison terms.)

n High school principal George Kenney believes he has a gift to aid students’ concentration abil-ities—hypnotism—and practiced it extensively at North Port High in Sarasota, Florida, until 2011, when three of his students died in separate inci-dents (two by suicide). While Kenney enjoys retire-ment in North Carolina, the Sarasota school board did not close the chapter until October 2015 when it granted $200,000 settlements to the families of the three students. The lawsuits complained of Kenney’s unlicensed “medical procedure,” which altered the “underdeveloped” teenage brain—but Kenney had also pointed to improvements in studying by other students.

n White supremacist Craig Cobb has not given up. News of the Weird noted in 2013 that he was attempting to buy property in Leith, North Dakota (pop. 16), to turn the town into a deluxe Caucasian enclave, but there was local resistance—and Cobb was revealed by a TV program’s DNA test to himself be 14 percent “sub-Saharan African.” Cobb has not yet disproved the result, but has moved his target to (according to recent reports) either Red Cloud, Nebraska (pop. 978), or Antler, North Dakota (pop. 28) (which is seeking crowdsourced funding online to preventively buy the vacant property Cobb has his eyes on).

A News of the Weird Classic (March 2010) It’s a simple recipe, said New York City A-list chef Daniel Angerer: a cheese derived from the breast milk of his wife, who (in March 2010) was nursing the couple’s 3-month-old daughter. As a chef, he said, “you look out for something new and what you can do with it,” and what Angerer could do is make about two quarts of “flavor(ful)” cheese out of two gallons of mother’s milk. “(T)astes just like really sweet cow’s milk.” He posted the recipe, “My Spouse’s Mommy Milk Cheese,” but reminded experimenters to “consider cheese aging time.”

Thanks This Week to Charles Zipperlen and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

By CHUCK SHEPHERD

NEWS OF THE

WEIRD

pjhcalendar.com

the latest happenings in jackson hole

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UnREal appealMore real estate propaganda to exacerbate our housing crunch

appeared recently in Financial Times. Median home prices in Jackson Hole reached $823,500 in the third quarter of 2015, a rise of 15 percent from the same period last year. Not a single home was listed for less than $500,000. Sales at the upper end of the market (is there any other end in JH?) were especially robust.

“There’s no tax on the sale of real estate and no tax on out-of-state retirement income and inheritance or estate tax,” Julie Faupel told FT. She’s a co-owner of Jackson Hole Real Estate Associates, an affiliate of Christie’s International. “For people who want to accumu-late property and protect their wealth in the area, Jackson is very attractive.”

No news like snow newsShake it off, Taylor Swift, the Jackson Hole weather report just bumped

your news. After early season storms dumped a couple of feet of snow at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, our ski resort community topped the list of trending items on Facebook, bouncing the other hot topic – a $42 million lawsuit brought by Acura/Jeep Wrangler against the pop singer.

Thanks to Instagram pics featuring the dump-o-rama posted by the Chamber of Commerce, along with Facebook shares, Jackson Hole is all that the cyber world was talking about last week.

Wyoming Business Report reported the news.

Pool partyOur boys didn’t get it done on the gridiron but the girls had a pool

party in Gillette. The Jackson Hole High School girls swim team posted 337 points to run away from the competition on their way to another 3A state title. Worland was the nearest competitor, some 143 points behind Jackson.

The Lady Broncs failed to win only twice in their 11-meet season under the direction of coach Jim Jenkins. SwimSwam, a national publi-

cation on swimming and diving news, posted the story.

Saratoga scientist The Saratoga Sun got behind one of their own, ninth grader Leila

Randall, who was accepted to Teton Science School’s Young Women and Science program that took place the first week of November.

Randall told her hometown paper she is really excited about astrono-my and oceanography. “[T]hose are the ones that if we studied them a lot more we could end up learning really cool things,” she said.

The weeklong program focuses on engaging girls’ interest in science to inspire lead-ership in future women scientists. It was hosted at TSS Kelly Campus in GTNP, where the classroom was outdoors.

Barely getting byThe Bloomberg Billionaires Index has some bad news for Christy

Walton. Actually, it’s nothing she doesn’t know already but now the world knows the widow of John T. Walton, the Wal-Mart heir who died in a plane crash in Jackson Hole 10 years ago, is much poorer than previously reported.

It was widely assumed Christy Walton received the bulk of her late husband’s vast estate. “Turns out that was very wrong,” Bloomberg’s

David De Jong wrote. The new filings, recently unsealed by a Wyoming court at the request of Bloomberg

News, mean that Christy’s estimated $32 billion fortune as previously calculated is closer to $5 billion in reality.

“She’s unlikely to ever again reach her former designation as America’s richest woman, which she held until last month,” Bloomberg reported.

Ice cowboysEllen Miller-Goins of the Sangre de Cristo Chronicle in Frisco, Colo.,

whipped her community into a frenzy over their inaugural hosting of the Skijoring series that includes a North American Championship in Jackson Hole from Feb. 6-7, 2016 as part of the annual Winterfest celebration.

The equestrian-ski sport involves a skier towed by horse through a course of gates, jumps and rings. Ice Cowboys, a CrowdFunded video

short will accompany the event. PJH

By JAKE NICHOLS

THEM ON US

Have a knack for storytelling and the smarts to dissect and distill the valley’s issues du jour, from breaking news to thoughtful arts coverage?

Looking for flexible hours, the freedom to work independently and the opportunity to be an important voice in the community?

Now is your chance to join the small, energized team that comprises The Planet – Jackson Hole’s alternative voice and Wyoming’s only alt weekly.

Email a cover letter,

resume and writing

samples to

[email protected]

Reporter Wanted

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I t’s 4 p.m. in La Grave, France, and four skiers are picking their way above a 600 hundred-foot rock band as they exit the Couloir de Polichinelle. The first to descend the chute is Chad Vanderham, a ski guide from Colorado.

Vanderham skis confidently toward the high consequence traverse and disappears around the corner. Jackson ski and mountaineer legend Doug Coombs watches from above and follows his friend toward the exit. Cresting the corner, Coombs scans the horizon but sees no sign of Vanderham. Fearing the worst, he calls out for a rope and inches towards the edge of the cliff. In a matter of seconds, Coombs loses his edge and tumbles over the cliff to his death. The only sound that follows is enduring silence. Almost a decade later, the global mountain community continues to mourn the loss of Coombs.

Adventure sports figures have become the superheroes of today’s world, but sometimes their secret human identity reveals itself. For years, Coombs survived in the alpine world with what appeared to be superhuman qualities, but one misstep ended everything. Adventure athletes inspire us with their incredible feats, but they are not unlike you and me. It sometimes takes the death of super athletes like Coombs, Dean Potter and Eric Roner for the public to be reminded of

their human fragility. Although they can fly at high speeds, scale cliff faces with heightened senses, and complete mind boggling aerobatic feats, they are still bound by the laws of physics. When these athletes die, we struggle to uncover a lesson from their departure. But sometimes, becoming ac-quainted with the mortal underneath the cape is the most valuable lesson of all.

Secret identitiesCoombs wasn’t always dropping into Corbet’s Couloir or

side-slipping a waterfall of ice, often times he could be found at Nick Wilson’s noshing chicken tenders and fries. Coombs’ wife, Emily, says “there were two Dougs: one in the media that went above and beyond and the other Doug that was com-pletely disorganized with mustard in his beard.” Coombs, and adventure athletes like him, become a symbol for our own hopes and dreams. So in order to preserve the fanta-sy of perfection, we turn a blind eye to their shortcomings. It’s easy then to forget that the images of Coombs carving turns on an Alaska spine were tailored for public consump-tion, carefully selected to show a lone warrior overcoming great odds to conquer a formidable foe. One picture doesn’t always tell the whole truth, however, as Coombs had fears

that were hidden behind the scenes. Emily says Coombs pushed it to the limits in part to face his fear of breaking his neck, a vulnerable body part after Coombs crashed during a high school ski race. So he strived for greatness, not because he didn’t have fear, but because he wouldn’t allow his own fears to control him. The media instead portrayed Coombs as a fearless archetype of invincibility and the public misin-terpreted this facade of immortality. Coombs’ true message, Emily explained, was “if I can do it, you can do it.”

This mentality inspired Emily to honor Coombs’ life by giv-ing folks struggling to climb the socio-economic ladder the opportunity to realize their physical potential. In 2012, Emily founded the Doug Coombs Foundation “after noticing that low-income families were almost entirely absent from out-door activities that define Jackson Hole.” This past winter the nonprofit helped 160 kids get onto the ski hill that may never have been given the chance otherwise. It truly takes a village to raise an adventure athlete, and the foundation is helping to create the next generation of superheroes. Coombs may have appeared at the peak of his career as an independent entity, but what the true story indicates is that he had an in-credible amount of help along the way.

Coombs wasn’t born with an ice axe in his hand, he grew

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up skiing on a hill with a vertical rise of 700 feet in Massa-chusetts. When Emily met him years later living in Montana “he was a disaster” and couldn’t get to the ski hill without forgetting something. Emily said they needed each other to balance themselves out and when they moved to Jack-son Hole they did everything together. Emily explained that Coombs then started skiing for sponsors simply ”because he didn’t have any money and wanted to ski and play without working too hard.” From afar, we see images of Coombs the superhero skiing amazing lines, but when we look closer we can see a guy that many folks can relate to. Perhaps people are drawn to superheroes, like Doug, because they break down perceptual barriers, convincing others of humans’ ex-traordinary potential.

Spiderman wasn’t perfectLocal mountaineer and architect of SHIFT Festival, Chris-

tian Beckwith reminds us that “if you want to keep your hero as a hero then never meet them.” Taking these athletes out of their fantasy roles, however, may be to our advantage. Seeing adventure athletes as equals, will hopefully allow us to question our own capabilities. Beckwith, former editor of the prestigious Alpinist Magazine, has encountered many

heroes of the mountains. Several of his experiences, he says, have illustrated time and time again that even athletes at the top of their game make mistakes. Beckwith defines adven-ture athletes as “those willing to go into the unknown” and keep coming back even when the “outcome is uncertain.”

Dean Potter was one of those athletes that needed per-fection in order to survive. In true Spiderman fashion, Potter could free-solo without ropes up shear cliff faces, then jump with a parachute from the summit to the valley floor. Beck-with says people become fascinated with adventure athletes like Potter because, “they are reaching for the apex of hu-man potential and have such a small space between them and their demise. ” The illusion of perfection, Beckwith said, is needed for some of these athletes to push their limits, par-ticularly when a supreme belief in one’s own abilities is need-ed in order to commit to an action that could kill them. After decades of superhuman feats, however, imperfection finally caught up with Potter. He died this past spring in a wing-suit accident.

Superheroes appeal to the masses not because they beat the bad guy or summit the highest peak, but because they battle against their own demons. Many of us take the path of least resistance and convince ourselves that we’re not

good enough to achieve greatness. However, true accom-plishment isn’t marked by a summit tally, but by a willingness to try. Stephen Koch, local snowboard mountaineer, faced his own inner turmoil on Mt. Everest in his quest to snow-board the highest seven summits on each continent. Within sight of his goal, a massive avalanche narrowly missed his team. Koch retreated, admitting that, “for a long time after I felt like a failure, I felt like I was not enough.” Koch later real-ized, however, that “turning around on Everest was actually a defining moment of success in my life. I now understand a way of being that is not driven by ego, but driven by heart.” Adventure athletes are always applauded when they reach the summit, but the true test of a judicious mountaineer is knowing when to turn around. Koch says that he learned after watching many friends die in the mountains: “If I kept going bigger and steeper, I was going to be next.”

Superhero ethosThe adventure heroes of today’s world speak to us

through their actions instead of their words. They teach us the values of perseverance, loyalty, and humility in the moun-tain sphere, so we can learn from them on the valley floor. These superheroes allow us to watch the action from afar

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|without being engulfed in it, so we can learn before tak-ing the risk ourselves. When Jimmy Chin and his climbing partners approached the Shark’s Fin on Meru, they passed Hindu pilgrims who asked them, “tell us what you see.” In their eyes, the climbing expedition was approaching their religion’s inner sanctuary, the true “center of the universe.” Adventure athletes, in some ways, have become the sag-es of today’s world and provide “answers” to life’s existential problems. Beckwith believes that adventure athletes teach us about the “fragility of life” and that “personal evolution isn’t possible without risk.” Koch adds, “the mountains teach us how to deal with our own mind in everyday life and even though we are all vulnerable, adventure helps us learn how to control the fear.”

Living for longevityIt is perhaps a useful reminder that professional athletes

are tasked with promoting their “brand” – purposeful enter-tainment, not just a theatrical show for enjoyment. So often we look at the Photoshopped lives of adventure athletes and

wish we could be them, believing that everyday for them must be bluebird powder. Rob Kingwill has been a profes-sional snowboarder for the last 20 years says.

“It’s not as glorious as it appears to be,” he said. For instance, Kingwill recalls waiting for eight days in var-

ious airports just to film a five-minute snowboarding seg-ment for a Warren Miller film in Nepal. Kingwill explains that it hasn’t always been easy making a career of snowboard-ing and “nothing lasts forever, so you must create your own future.” Kingwill did just that by starting his own winter ac-cessory and clothing line in 2007 called Avalon7. He says it keeps his vision of mountain life afloat. You can also find him coaching snowboarding at Camp of Champions in Whistler, BC, in the summertime, and deeply immersed in youth out-reach efforts throughout the valley the remainder of the year. Adapting is Kingwill’s specialty.

“Life in the mountains is a progression and you must be ready to constantly reinvent yourself,” he said.

Kingwill happily admits that he is not extreme 24 hours a day. “There is a limit to the amount of adrenaline you can put into your system,” he said, adding that he sees a disturbing

trend in extreme sports with increasingly blurry boundar-ies between what is possible and what may likely result in death.

“Snowboarding competitions are getting so high impact, that sometimes as a coach, I’m getting scared to encourage my students,” Kingwill admitted. Indeed, across all ends of the adventure sport spectrum there seems to be tremendous pressure to perform beyond the capabilities of what is hu-manly possible. In some ways the press and social media has turned extreme sports into theater, where the athletes become characters we cheer on from the sidelines, while they risk their lives to make the viewing public entertained. However, Kingwill stands out as an athlete that embraces reality, instead of trying to escape it. When Kingwill considers a risk his mind rolls over the question, “Is it worth it?” and very often he says his answer is, “Lets skip this today so tomorrow we can do that.” The long list of Kingwill’s accomplishments illustrates a tendency to select balance over bravado.

Julie Zell, local snowboarding pioneer, witnessed the “leaps of mental and physical evolution” that have occurred in adventure sports since she started snowboarding in 1989.

Rob Kingwill coaches Native American kids snowboarding during the Intertribal Winter Sports Summit last winter. The pro-snowboarder is involved in myriad youth outreach efforts.

Doug Coombs with his son, David, in 2004 outside of the Coombs’ home in La Grave, France. Coombs’ wife, Emily, says Coombs was an adoring father who was enamored with his little boy.

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Zell says that athletes today seem to be emulating fanta-sy “video game movements and applying them to the real world.” Zell, who won Alaska’s Queen of the Hill competition for three consecutive years, is no stranger to risk, but says that today’s athletes are “not trapped in the same rules of mind and body that I was.” With the advancement of adven-ture sports, however, comes higher risk and Zell hopes that the current genera-tion doesn’t fall prey to the same hazards that she faced, hazards that perhaps come with the territory of certain sports no matter the time period. When com-peting in big mountain competitions, Zell laments that “nobody talked about being scared, but I was terrified in Alaska.” Zell recalls thinking, “What am I doing here, I didn’t start snowboarding to die.” Looking back on her ca-reer, which she says “she was lucky to survive,” Zell hopes that todays heroes of the mountains learn to “perform for themselves and not for the cameras.” Zell says she never

considered herself to be an extreme athlete and explains that she was able to push her limits only after a gentle “pro-gression of my ability levels.”

Sometimes what shapes an athlete’s superhero-human trajectory are the battles they face when they’re young. Years later, even when it feels like the battle has been won, those old feelings never completely disappear. Instead, they become the catalyst for ac-tion and great ideas. Crystal Wright, two-time winner of the Freeride World ski tour, was told as a child, “you can’t do that because you’re a girl.” Growing up at the base of the Wind River Range with no electricity or television, however, Wright says she learned that she could do what-ever the boys could do and sometimes

even more. “Women tend to second guess themselves a lot” she said.

“But believing in your abilities is necessary in order to try something that scares you a little bit.”

When she repeatedly wasn’t granted access to the “all boys clubs” that proliferates mountain culture, Wright found-ed the Jackson Hole Babe Force to help empower other women with alpine aspirations. The organization is currently offering two scholarships to two local women for Avalanche 1 instruction.

Wright says it’s imperative that we teach the “next gen-eration of female skiers and riders to not make the same mistakes I did while getting into the backcountry.” Wright says while growing up she “was fearless, did what seemed cool, and followed what other people were doing.” Providing females with more instruction and social support through the JH Babe Force, Wright says she hopes to create an environ-ment for females to gain a “proper education so they don’t have to depend on their husbands or guy friends to lead them around the backcountry.”

Athletes, like Wright, illustrate that to achieve beyond the ordinary a commonly held belief among adventure athletes must work its way into more people’s psyches: the extraordi-nary is possible. PJH

Pro-skier Crystal Wright is an architect of mountain enthusiasm, particularly with the group she spearheaded to offer support to female alpine enthusiasts, the Jackson Hole Babe Force.

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“What am I doing here? I didn’t start

snowboarding to die.”

- Julie Zell

Snowboard mountaineer Stephen Koch is fostering a sense of exploration in his sons and in audiences who listen to his motivational talks.

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CREATIVE PEAKS

Motion PicturesSilver screen comes alive with beautiful body mechanics.BY KELSEY DAYTON

@Kelsey_Dayton

Carrie Richer was amazed at her dad’s old metal-framed backpack. It was hard to think he used to carry

that around in the mountains. That back-pack became the inspiration for “Moving Upstream,” a film where a woman on a snowy trail wrestles the pack as she moves. It rep-resents a literal and metaphorical struggle anyone can relate to, said Richer, a founder and director with Hole Dance Films.

The film is one of two Hole Dance Films that will screen Saturday along with jury-se-lected movies as part of the Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema.

It is the first year Jackson has hosted the festival.

The goal was to bring in a variety of films in the dance genre, Richer said. Some are beautiful and dramatic and others are whim-sical and fun.

“It’s pretty eye-opening and nice to look at the genre,” Richer said. “There is a little bit for everybody.”

“Bookin’” documents an experiment combining ballet with Memphis Jookin, a hip-hop street style of dance.

In “Dance like Your Old Man,” dancers imitate and tell stories about how their dads move to music.

In “Painted,” you eventually realize the dancer in the warehouse transforms into a bird through movement.

The festival also includes a couple of doc-umentaries, including one from Pilobolus, a dance company that has performed in Jackson. The film gives insight into the pro-cess of creating the unique dance the compa-ny is known for, Richer said.

While the films offer a chance for students and dance lovers to learn about other styles of dance and also the possibilities dance offers, the festival intends to reach a greater audience, Richer said.

The goal of hosting the festival is meant to expose people who might not normally watch dance to the art form. Some films offer insight into the process of dance, while oth-ers are meant to just entertain.

“A lot of the dance is so physically active and impressive and at an extreme level,”

Richer said. “Anyone who lives in Jackson can appreciate it from an athletic point of view.”

Plus the longest film is only 10 minutes, she added.

Alongside the San Souci films, Hole Dance Films will premiere two new shorts, “Moving Upstream,” featuring Francesca Romo, a former dancer with Galim and now with Contemporary Dance Wyoming, struggling with the backpack, and “Housewarming,” a film shot in a home in East Jackson.

The film shows a couple moving into a new house, unpacking bubble wrap, moving items around, dressing up and setting up for a dinner party. Then it deviates and “totally goes crazy,” Richer said. “It’s just a funny film.”

The dancers are Dancers’ Workshop alum Luke Zender and Michaela Ellingson and the piece was choreographed in the home.

Richer says a friend’s house inspired the piece. It was an extraordinary and ornate space and a great place to explore dance. The piece showcases the house and the dancers take it over as their stage, moving over count-ers and using the crown molding.

“That dance couldn’t exist anywhere else other than that house,” Richer said.

Both films, shot by cinematographers Melinda Binks and Katy Bell, represent the style and type of movies Hole Dance Film

makes.“We like to not take our films too serious-

ly,” Richer said.The films are often whimsical and fun

and usually feature local dancers. It’s a way to show the quality of dancers found in Jackson, Richer said.

Richer and Kate Kosharek started Hole Dance Films eight years ago. The two danc-ers wanted to not just produce dance work on the stage, but share it with other audiences.

“When in Wyoming, a film lends itself to reaching out and making work available internationally without leaving Jackson Hole,” Richer said.

Their films have played in various fes-tivals including the Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema and it’s traveled with the fes-tival’s “best of the festival” tours.

The festival and screening of the two new Hole Dance Films is a great way to show the community what they’ve been working on and garner local support for dance, as well as show how much dance is out there around the world.

Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema and Hole Dance Films, 4:30 p.m. documentary screening, 7:30 p.m. shorts screening and Hole Dance Films reception, Saturday, Center for the Arts. $12 individual screening; $20 festival pass. PJH

Dorotea Saykaly in the short film ‘Painted,’ screening for the Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema Saturday at the Center for the Arts.

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WEDNESDAY NOV. 11n Ski Fitness with Whitney Wright7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $225.00, 307-733-6398n Boot Camp7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Fee Free Day in Grand Teton National Park8:00am, Grand Teton National Park, Free n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Toddler Gym8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-739-9025n Yoga9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Museum Closed9:00am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, 307-733-5771n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Toddler Gym10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-739-9025n Fables, Feathers, and Fur10:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-733-5771n Lap Sit11:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201n Public Skating12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633n Total Fitness12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Semi-Private Painting + Drawing4:00pm, Borshell Children’s Studio, $20.00 - $130.00, 307-733-6379n Game Night4:30pm, Snake River Brewery, Free, 307-739-2337n Leadership Jackson Hole Alumni Gathering5:00pm, Figs in Hotel Jackson, Free, 307-733-3087n Think WYO: Art & Activism5:30pm, Pink Garter Theatre Lobby, Free, 307-699-2680

n Age Friendly Jackson Hole Meeting5:30pm, Senior Center, Free, 307-733-7300n Book Club “What is the What” by Dave Eggers6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201n Evening Yoga6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Open Gym - Adult Basketball6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900n Salsa at Dancers’ Workshop7:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Oneness Deeksha Meditation7:30pm, Akasha Yoga, $5.00, 307-413-3965n Vinyl Night9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307-733-1500

THURSDAY NOV. 12n Kettlebells7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, Free, 307-733-6398n Yoga9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Intermediate/Advanced Ballet @ Dancers’ Workshop9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Crystal Sound Bowl Experience with Daniela Botur12:00pm, Intencions, Free, 307-733-9290n Open Gym - Adult Basketball12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025n Public Skating12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop1:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398

n All About Handbuilding3:30pm, Center for the Arts, $125.00, 307-733-6379n Printmaking Plus!4:00pm, Center for the Arts, $70.00, 307-733-6379n Yoga4:15pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Adobe InDesign5:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $200.00, 307-733-7425n Chamber Mixer with Togwotee Adventures5:00pm, Togwotee Snowmobile Adventures, Free, 307-733-3316n Jazzercise5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Total Fitness5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Teton Literacy Center proudly presents: A magical night at Moosewarts5:30pm, Teton Literacy Center, Free, 307-733-9242n Making the Most of College Visits6:00pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307-733-2164n Mix’d Media6:00pm, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-733-5771n Knit Nite6:00pm, Knit on Pearl, Free, 307-733-5648n Basic Jewelry: Beading6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $90.00, 307-733-6379n Monotype6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $50.00, 307-733-6379n Silhouette Cutting6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201n Modern Dance Class at Dancers’ Workshop6:15pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Open Gym - Adult Soccer6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925n Nutrition for Optimal Sports Performance - Essentials of Electrolytes6:45pm, Teton Recreation Cen-ter, $12.00, 307-739-9025n English for Businesses7:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $100.00 n Sip & Paint7:00pm, Roam, $30.00

THIS WEEK: November 11-17, 2015 Compiled by Caroline Zieleniewski

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Fiery JamsBluegrass, country and rock come to Garter and Fireman’s Ball this weekend.BY MATT HERRON

It’s rare to see a busy week of music in the off-season, but for those of us left in town we have two great shows to look forward to this weekend. Consider these concerts your

opportunity to warm up and shake a leg before the snow piles up and the lifts start spinning.

Greensky Bluegrass is no stranger to the Jackson music scene with a handful of shows sprinkled throughout the years including some notable performances at Targhee Bluegrass. This time around fans will be able to catch them at the Pink Garter Theatre on Friday night.

While Greensky has some great studio albums like 2014 release “If Sorrow Swims,” their following has grown through their high-energy live shows. Starting with a win at the 2006 Telluride Band Competition the band is still on the road 10 years later. Much like other bands in the jam-grass genre, improvisation is a staple of the experience and great song writing is the launching pad. Greensky is also not afraid to throw in a couple of covers to keep the listener on his or her own toes. If you’re a first-timer or a casual fan it can always be nice to hear something familiar like Bob Dylan’s “When I Paint My Masterpiece.”

At the end of the day, what separates a Greensky show from a rock show is the band’s instrumentation. So if you like your bluegrass loud, experimental, and tinged with thought-ful songwriting, the Pink Garter is be the place to be Friday night.

Greensky Bluegrass, doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m., Friday, Pink Garter Theatre, $20 to 22, 21 and older.

Saturday night features the 75th annual Fireman’s Ball at the Heritage Arena. For a relatively young town like Jackson, it’s great to see such a longstanding tradition flourish and not lose its appeal. After all, every town needs firefighters and as they have said before, if you come to their party, they’ll come to your fire.

Last year, the Marshall Tucker Band took the headline slot but this year the Firefighters Association outdoes itself with a triple bill of Chancey Williams and the Younger Brothers Band, The Sam Bush Band and the North Mississippi Osborne, or the North Mississippi Allstars featuring Anders Osborne. You could describe the lineup as being a bit dis-jointed but really the roster provides the most entertainment to the greatest amount of people. Country lovers will get their twangy fix with Chancey Williams, Sam Bush will keep the new-grass fans dancing, and the North Mississippi group will get the blues rockers banging. If you’re in town this weekend, it’s strongly recommended that you find yourself under the Heritage Arena on Saturday.

Wyoming native Chancey Williams and his band will kick things off with a well-polished country sound. The group has tight three part harmonies and all the energy you would expect for a band that is right at home on the main stage at Cheyenne’s raucous Frontier Days. In fact, Williams is the only other performer besides the legendary Chris Ledoux to have ridden in the rodeo and performed on the main stage.

There isn’t really much more that can be written about

Grammy-award winner Sam Bush. He has reached legendary status in the bluegrass, new-grass, and acoustic music scenes and at 64, he plays and writes as though he’s a budding musi-cian. Bush has played with a Rolodex of legendary players, from Del McCoury to Alison Kraus to Edgar Meyer and back again. Bush’s mandolin and fiddle playing is as distinctive as it gets in the scene. Add to this a knack for writing hit songs and an exemplary band of musicians and you have a head-lining act.

However, the headlining duties are left to North Mississippi Osborne. A collaboration between contemporary delta blues brothers Luther and Cody Dickinson from the North Mississippi Allstars and the soulful, guitar shredding Osborne. Their recent release, “NMO,” is a combination of slinky soul ballads that showcase tight harmonies and expert guitar work.

There will be silent and live auctions, a raffle, and plenty of food and alcohol for purchase, to hlep firefighters extin-guish flames around the valley.

Fireman’s Ball, 6 p.m., Saturday, Teton County Fairgrounds’ Heritage Arena, $40, 21 and older. PJH

Greensky Bluegrass (left) heats up the Pink Garter Friday evening. Remember to pace yourself though, because the Fireman’s Ball, featuring Anders Osborn and more, happens the following night, Saturday, at the Heritage Arena.

MUSIC BOX

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n The Met: Live in HD - Otello7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $10.00 - $18.00, 307-733-4900n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900n Mustache Militia7:30pm, Silver Dollar Show-room, Free, 307-732-3939n Karaoke9:00pm, Virginian Saloon, Free, 307-739-9891n Salsa Night9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307-733-1500

FRIDAY NOV. 13n Boot Camp7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Toddler Gym8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-739-9025n Breakfast Club Meetup: Co-Hosted by Spark8:30am, Community Founda-tion of Jackson Hole, $10.00 - $20.00, 307-739-1026n Lodging Tax: Bolster Your Winter Business with Community Assets8:30am, Wort Hotel, Free n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n No School Day Programs9:00am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, $50.00 - $60.00, 307-733-6379n Yoga9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop10:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Toddler Gym10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-739-9025n Yoga12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Public Skating12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633

n Taste of the Holidays12:00pm, Jackson Whole Grocer & Cafe, $5.00, 307-733-0450n Total Fitness12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Thanksgiving Turkey Shoot1:00pm, Archery Range, Free, 307-739-9025n Free Friday Wine Tasting4:00pm, The Liquor Store, Free, 307-733-4466n Open Gym - Adult Soccer6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900n Pam Drews Phillips Plays Jazz7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Free, 307-733-8833n Greensky Bluegrass7:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $20.00 - $22.00, 307-733-1500n The Innocents7:30pm, Silver Dollar Show-room, Free, 307-732-3939n Ian McIver10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

SATURDAY NOV. 14n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Worm Composting Workshop9:00am, Teton Valley Com-munity Recycling, $25.00, 208-354-2800n Barre Fusion at Dancers’ Workshop9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Forging Metal Bracelets9:30am, Center for the Arts, $60.00, 307-733-3886n Splash + Pour: Watercolor without Fear9:30am, Center for the Arts, $150.00, 307-733-3886n Adult Oil Painting10:00am, The Local Galleria, $25.00 - $80.00, 208-270-0883 n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company2:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900n Experience Live Raptors2:00pm, Teton Raptor Center, $10.00 - $12.00, 307-203-2551

n Dancers’ Workshop presents Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema4:30pm, The Center Theater, $12.00 - $20.00, 307-733-4900n Watershed Jackson 2015 Gala5:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $125.00 n North Mississippi Allstars & Anders Osborne Present N.M.O at 75th Fireman’s Ball6:00pm, Heritage Arena, $30.00 - $40.00 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900n Live Music7:00pm, The Virginian Saloon, Free, 307-739-9891 n Dancers’ Workshop presents Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema7:00pm, The Center Theater, $12.00 - $20.00, 307-733-4900n The Innocents7:30pm, Silver Dollar Show-room, Free, 307-732-3939 n BOGDOG10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

SUNDAY NOV. 15n Season Pass Sale & Pick Up9:00am, Grand Targhee Resort, 800-TARGHEEn Splash + Pour: Watercolor without Fear9:30am, Center for the Arts, $150.00, 307-733-3886n NFL Package11:00am, The Virginian Saloon, Free, 307-739-9891n Open Gym - Adult Volleyball4:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025n Stagecoach Band6:00pm, Stagecoach, Free, 307-733-4407n Taize7:00pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-2603

MONDAY NOV. 16n Ski Fitness with Whitney Wright7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $225.00, 307-733-6398n Boot Camp7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 18

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n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Toddler Gym8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-739-9025n Jazzercise9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Toddler Gym10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-739-9025n Public Skating12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633n Total Fitness12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Story Time1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Photoshop Fundamentals2:00pm, Center for the Arts, $120.00, 307-733-3886n After School Kidzart Club3:30pm, Borshell Children’s Studio, $135.00 - $165.00, 307-733-6379n Open Range4:30pm, Archery Range at the Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Explore Archery4:45pm, Teton County Parks and Rec Gym, $7.00, 307-739-9025n Lightroom Fundamentals5:00pm, Center for the Arts, $120.00, 307-733-3886n Barre Fusion at Dancers’ Workshop5:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Monday Sitting Group6:00pm, Chiropractic and Sports Injury Center, 307-733-7584n Evening Yoga6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Drawing6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $100.00, 307-733-3886n Open Level Ballet at Dancers’ Workshop6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Monday Night Football6:30pm, The Virginian Saloon, Free, 307-739-9891n Open Gym - Adult Basketball6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025n The JH Chorale Rehearsals7:00pm, Music Center in the Center for the Arts, Free, 585-872-4934n Film Screening: The Mask You Live In7:00pm, The Center Theater, $5.00, 307-733-3729

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 20

Space to ExploreEnjoy a few quieter places while you wait for the snow to fall. BY ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

The hoards of humans mulling about downtown has thinned, and while some locals take off for Thailand and

Nicarauga this time of year, early November can be a prime time to enjoy Jackson Hole. As town traffic dips to its lowest level of chaos since May, why not embark on some of the mellower activities here. I’ve outlined this list to guide your off-season meanderings:

Take a Dip Now I know what you may be thinking.

Many a townsperson has gone to the rec center only to be overwhelmed by the smell of chlorine and the melodic sounds of young exuberance. But, there is a solution to these woes. The rec center offers lap swimming along with essential water work out items including, but not limited to, bricks for tread-ing water, surfboards for paddle practice and kickboard devices. Swimming laps in the pool offers an intrinsic sense of feeling tired with the full-body feeling of freshness. As for

the chorine, choose to opt out of the swim-ming cap. Doggie paddling, while perhaps inefficient, seems to offer a better workout with the option of keeping one’s head above water.

Feel the Yogi LoveWhile there is a robust yoga community

here in Jackson, mountain humans may fear these classes for good reason. Go to one of these sessions and prepare to feel the burn. There are people out there that can do things that hurts me to even imagine. Much like the mountains, yoga is a combination of strength and mind training, turning seemingly simply body movements into difficult feats. Akasha Yoga, for example, is among the yoga studios offering a great November special for new students. For a mere $50, you can go to all the yoga classes you want for an entire 30 days.Hence, for all the yoga skeptics, this deal is a great way to explore capabilities in the body that you never knew existed.

Hot Spring Adventure This low commitment leisure activity can

be enjoyed either solo or with a friend. We do live around the Yellowstone Caldera so why not take advantage of the environment in its primetime. With the snowpack still rela-tively low, walking to hot springs is easy as pie. Where to go, however, is highly depen-dent on mood and the amount of time you have available. Flagg Ranch used to boast the popular Huckleberry Hot springs. Recent

adoption of Yellowstone’s hot spring regula-tions closed this spot, as it is currently being restored to its original habitat. However, hot springs adjacent to the river in this area are still permitted. For a shorter drive, head out to Granite Hot Springs for some soaking. Road conditions out there can be subject to change, so a back up bike can always assist for open planning. For those feeling like more of a road trip, Lava Hot Springs is only a couple hours away and offers warmer temps, cozy cabins and great camping. By now, the summer crowds have cleared out so the place has a mellow and relaxing vibe.

Early-Season Skiing You could always fight the flow and try

to ski somewhere. The mountains seem to be right on the cusp of skiing. Some people go and have a great time, while others hit the unanticipated rock and hurt themselves. Despite my personal avoidance of early-sea-son conditions, I have recognized the happi-ness that others have found in this venture. Word to the wise: bring body armor, a helmet and a first aid kid, just in case.

All of these activities not only offer a respite from Netflix binges and looming darkness, but great ways to strengthen the mind and body in the winter season. These popular places in the community are less crowded at this time. Plus, if you do see people, it’s likely someone you want to see anyway. PJH

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Take your pick: solitude and sketchy skiing abound this time of year.

GET OUT

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Northern SpotlightsDancing to troll music with Jackson locals at Iceland Airwaves.BY ANDREW MUNZ

@AndrewMunz

In the dim lights of KEX Hostel in Reykjavik, Iceland, Liliana Frandsen and I stood just feet from the stage, ready to enjoy our

first concert of the Iceland Airwaves music festival. The first night at KEX was an Irish showcase, with three bands from Ireland set to perform. Surrounded by the buzz of for-eign conversations, I could barely make out a word until I heard someone yell, “Prugh! Over here.”

I turn around and sure enough Jackson real estate mogul Greg Prugh is meandering through the venue to sit down at a table. We exchange greetings and express our excite-ment for the event. I’m introduced to Joe Spiegel who is already sitting down drinking some Icelandic beer wearing a Brennivín shirt.

Liliana and I shared a laugh over the fact that even though we were 5,000 miles away, Jackson Hole is inescapable. There we were in the northernmost capital of the world along with other Wyomingites experiencing the mellow tunes of the Irish band Slow Skies.

But it’s no surprise. Since it’s first festival in 1999, Iceland Airwaves has been a go-to

event for millions of music lovers around the world. Similar to the multi-venue feel of SXSW in Austin, or even Jackson’s Contour Festival, Airwaves has concerts all across Reykjavík from the 1,500-plus seat Eldborg music hall in Harpa to the standing-room-only wooden attic of Dillon Whiskey Bar. This year, the concert hosted 142 different musical acts at countless official and unofficial venues throughout the city.

With the northern lights showing off over-head, the city buzzes with heavy bass and applause. The unique energy of the festival and the people who attend it is unstoppable and impatient. With music starting at noon and the parties ending at 3 a.m. or later, there is no rest to be had. As the Airwaves website so accurately states: “It’s 4 a.m. You’ve been to five cool clubs, seen 10 great bands, made 15 new friends and fallen in love 20 times. You’re tired. You’re wired. You’re ready to find a bed. You’re ready to find the after-party. You can’t believe you’re here. You’re already making plans to come back next year. And guess what? It’s still day one.”

With so much happening over a span of five days, I could not attend everything at the same time, nor did I enjoy everything that I attended. However, there are bands that stand out, some that I’d never heard of before and some who now rank as among the best concerts of my life so far.

AURORA was, hands-down, one of the liveliest concerts of the entire festival, though many had to forgo seeing Father John Misty to see the 19-year-old Norwegian answer to Lorde. Her arms floated and flailed, her face contorted in pain and sorrow. And after each song the crowd exploded in cheer, causing singer Aurora Aksnes to giggle and dance in

gleeful gratitude. In a similar vein, American sing-

er VÈRITÉ brought the house down with her electro indie pop sound, and the crowd erupted during the song “Weekend.” Though those who were in a dancing mood were smart to check out Icelandic band Vök, who incorporate saxophone into their trance-like beats, or Retro Stefson and their Latin pop punk jams.

For festivalgoers eager for a more melodic folk sound, two bands that would do very well performing in Jackson would be Edward Sharpe sound-alike Júniús Meyvant and the gorgeous harmonic female duo, Ylja. A weirder vibe can be found with the six-piece fairy-acid-folk band Grúska Babúska, whose lead singer sounds like she’s 8 years old, and with Hjaltalín, whose frontman looks like he just came back from a Viking raid. And, if you can pronounce them, Árstiðir sings melodies that need to be heard by the ears of everyone I’ve ever met.

However, nothing can compare to the experience of seeing John Grant perform with the Icelandic Symphony Orchestra in the massive Eldborg concert hall. Thirteen rows from the stage, the orchestra and Grant’s Leonard Cohen-meets-Rufus Wainwright voice blasted me with gales of cacophonous beauty.

Airwaves is the most rewarding, exhaust-ing festival I’ve ever been to, and I can only recommend that Jacksonites jump on the opportunity next year. I’ll see you there, somewhere in the back of the bar, shouting your last name to come sit down next to me and have a beer. PJH

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AURORA closing out the night at the Reykjavík Art Museum in Iceland.

WELL, THAT HAPPENEDSATURDAY &

SUNDAY BRUNCH

Monday-Saturday 11am, Sunday 10:30am832 W. Broadway (inside Plaza Liquors)•733-7901

10:30am - 3:00pmBottomless Mimosas & Bloody Marys $15

•••••••••••

HAPPY HOUR 1/2 Off Drinks Daily 5-7pm

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Miner DisasterThe 33 goes horribly wrong turning real-life tragedy to generic uplift.BY SCOTT RENSHAW

@scottrenshaw

Let’s assume—just for the sake of argu-ment—that you bought a ticket for The 33 without knowing anything about the

story behind it. Let’s say you were just intro-duced to several characters who worked at a mine in Chile in the summer of 2010: Mario (Antonio Banderas), who wasn’t scheduled to work on a particular day, but asked to take an extra shift for some extra money; Alex (Mario Casas), who is blissfully happy as his wife is pregnant with their first baby; Darío (Juan Pablo Raba), an alcoholic who is estranged from his sister, María (Juliette Binoche); and even a grey-bearded veteran who is just about to retire. And then let’s say the plot showed them all heading off to work.

Now tell me that there’s any other possible development, except that something terrible is going to happen.

The 33 is, of course, based on the real-life incident in which 33 workers at a gold and copper mine in Chile’s Atacama Desert were trapped after a massive rock fell and blocked the only exit, inspiring rescue efforts that drew international attention. The improb-able circumstances behind their (historical spoiler alert) survival is a natural for a cine-matic treatment, one that could be inspira-tional both as an example of resilient faith and as a case study in institutional deter-mination. But a movie needs more than a concept. It needs to be executed with some degree of skill. And The 33 is a case study in poor execution.

It probably doesn’t help that it appears so soon after The Martian, employing a struc-ture that’s virtually identical, except that the seemingly impossible rescue is here on Earth. Half of the narrative focuses on events underground, where Mario becomes the de facto leader of the 33 miners, figuring out how to ration their meager food supplies and dealing with interpersonal tensions. The

other half follows the efforts above-ground to get to them, as the Chilean government’s head of mining (Rodrigo Santoro) and a no-nonsense engineer (Gabriel Byrne) try to maneuver the massive drills around pockets of impenetrable bedrock.

The 33, unlike The Martian, doesn’t com-mit itself to being fundamentally about prob-lem-solving, but it also doesn’t succeed at being an emotional, character-based drama. It wants to grasp the sad dilemma of men separated from their loving, concerned fami-lies, even if that means setting up those con-nections in the manner described above—entirely in movie shorthand, too concerned with giving a handful of characters at least one identifiable relationship and/or conflict to give any individual a character that feels real. While there’s much more potential in dealing with the goings-on on the surface—between the technical challenges, political wrangling and the tent city/media circus that surrounds the mine site like something out of Ace in the Hole—director Patricia Riggen (Under the Same Moon) and the screenwrit-ing team still waste time on comic-relief nonsense like the wife and mistress of one miner (The Office’s Oscar Nuñez) fighting over which one he loves best.

Then again, that example represents the broad strokes with which Riggen paints virtually everything in The 33—including the performances. There’s little sense of the danger or claustrophobia facing these men,

because nearly every moment spent with them involves shouting matches or inspi-rational speeches; the actors—including Banderas and Lou Diamond Phillips—play those moments for all the bombast that isn’t already underscored by the music (a sadly underwhelming final credit for the late James Horner). And it’s not much better on the surface, where Binoche offers up line read-ings that would be embarrassing even if she weren’t a French woman playing a Latina.

There’s one wonderfully atypical scene in which the miners—facing what they believe might be their last supper—imag-ine a lavish feast of all their favorite foods. It’s a terrific example of what The 33 could have accomplished if it were interested in anything resembling psychological realism, rather than ticking off a checklist of events on the way to generic uplift. There’s nothing wrong with a survival-against-all odds story that aims for the heart instead of the head, but this one keeps blasting indiscriminately away at the heart, destroying all the other vital organs along the way. PJH

THE 33B.5Antonio BanderasRodrigo SantoroLou Diamond PhillpsRated PG-13

TRY THESEAce in the Hole(1951)Kirk DouglasJan SterlingNot Rated

Desperado(1995)Antonio BanderasSalma HayekRated R

Under the Same Moon(2007)Adrian AlonsoKate del CastilloRated PG-13

127 Hours(2010)James FrancoAmber TamblynRated R

Antonio Banderas (center left) leads a crew of trapped miners in The 33.

CINEMATUESDAY NOV. 16n Kettlebells7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, Free, 307-733-6398n Yoga8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n “Success through Sustainability & the TripAdvisor’s Green Leaders Program”10:00am, Wort Hotel, $25.00, 307-690-3316n Crystal Sound Bowl Experience with Daniela Botur12:00pm, Intencions, Free, 307-733-9290n Open Gym - Adult Basketball12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025n Public Skating12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633n MELT at Dancers’ Workshop12:10pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop1:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Abstract3:30pm, Center for the Arts, $35.00, 307-733-3886n Food for Art3:30pm, Center for the Arts, $45.00, 307-733-3886n Yoga4:15pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Jazzercise5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Total Fitness5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025n Beginning Painting: Acrylic6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $100.00, 307-733-3886n Open Gym - Adult Volleyball6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025n The Great Siberian Traverse6:30pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $5.00, 307-733-1500n Hip Hop at Dancers’ Workshop7:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398n Adult Oil Painting7:00pm, The Local Galleria, $25.00 - $80.00, 208-270-0883n Language Exchange Night7:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201n Film Screening: Miss Representation7:00pm, The Center Theater, $5.00, 307-733-4900n One Ton Pig7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939

FOR COMPLETE EVENT DETAILS VISIT PJHCALENDAR.COM

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FROM THE JHSM ARCHIVES

amie Lynn is like a cat. He comes and goes as he pleases, actions are ref lex and instinct. He is one of those photos where the edges are blurry with movement and the sub-

ject perfectly clear, everyone and everything in constant motion while he holds a strangely still center. Despite what folks think that they know, around him there is a calm. This man, a snow-board legend, an accomplished artist, a musician, doesn’t think about what’s going to happen or what has happened, he just lives.

“It’s just a matter of living a completely full and fun life,” Jamie says. “Not knowing makes it interesting, it keeps me mov-ing forward.”

That is why he is still here and why, after two decades in this industry, there are still things to say about him.

Jamie’s art is a large part of the core Asymbol quiver, now and in the beginning. His work makes up a good chunk of the original collection assembled by Travis Rice and Mike Parillo in 2009. Inviting him to Asymbol’s new location in Jackson Hole to paint a wall was the next step. The result: vibrating color and dreamy visions. Much like his board riding and music making, Jamie’s art sends it off of the map that he himself has designed. There are nods to his roots and swings towards a fence that only he sees, the rules, whether he knows them or not, don’t really seem to apply.

The mural puts all of life’s driving elements – mountains, sun, snow, and water – on a linear plane. His simple, harmonious approach to color and subject is a companion to his snowboarding style – visceral and classic. After all of these years Jamie is still true to these basic ingredients.

As Jamie hits the 20-year mark of riding for Libtech the time is ripe for digging into his mind a little bit. The keeper of snow-boarding’s evolution, Jamie has seen and done more in 20 years than some will do in a lifetime. Sitting with him and listening to his stories is like gathering around a campfire with those that came before as they share our collective history. Almost immediately all of the questions I had planned on asking went out the window, along with any hope of a traditional interview. Jamie quietly rejects conventional methods, which isn’t to say that he won’t share everything with you. He does. Nestled deep in

rambling off-topic conversations were nuggets of info that if put together make a strange sort of narration.

“When I was young there was this neighbor kid who had a cat that was sick. I watched him try in many ways to kill it,” Jamie says. “He hung it up, kicked it, and finally drowned it in a sack. It was fucked up, probably the worst thing I had seen at that point. After that I just found myself harboring wounded cats. They would just show up and I’d nurse them back to health. That’s partially the reason that I paint them. Cats just do what they want. Mine usually end up lying down on top of what I am trying to paint, or putting themselves directly in my view so that I have to draw them. They demand attention.”

Jamie travels with a skateboard, a small backpack, and a guitar. And that is all that anyone really needs to know about what matters to him. The first stop for him was a skate session with Bryan Iguchi that didn’t end until blood was drawn. (Jamie skates like a demon on fire embracing the burn. Pain does not stop him.) When he’s not on wheels he has his guitar in hand. During his visit in Jackson, there was music for everything; Jamie is constantly strumming.

“Some of what I do is brilliance, some of it, bullshit. I just go with it.”

“Music is just as important as the art expression for me. I have been playing with Wes Makepeace (*Tittyfish* front man), which is amazing,” Jamie explains. “He has the most amazing voice, which lets me focus on playing guitar. Tittyfish is like a variety show with an evolving line-up, most of us have been playing together off and on for a while.”

The process of getting Jamie to Jackson, pinning him down for a proper interview, and the subsequent crafting of this article were illuminating experiences. Jamie is like smoke. If you grab at him or try to capture him in any way, he disappears. Every conversation with him, despite any efforts to the contrary, take on a Confucius like form. One sentence from him on any topic is concise and clear enough to end the entire conversation. We never

talked about snowboarding, but by the time he left I understood the sport better than I ever have. I suppose that I understand quite a few things better thanks to him. It all just goes off the rails when Jamie is around. You have to just go with it. If I forgot to ask him about his life long career in the industry it was because it seemed irrelevant in the face of his current existence, his band, his art, traveling, storytelling.

“My grandpa Floyd always said, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baff le them with bullshit.” Some of what I do its brilliance, some of it, bullshit. I just go with it.”

When the time came to start the mural, Jamie worked tire-lessly, sometimes as late as 3 a.m. What I thought was going to be a rock star experience was more like hanging out with your grandpa in his work shed. He tinkers; you drink whiskey and get high off of spray can fumes.

On the way to the airport I told him about a quote I had just heard: “The richest places on the planet are the graveyards. That’s where everybody takes their dreams, their wishes, and they die there, undone.”

To this he replied, “I am leaving nothing for the grave. I am going to spend every part of myself before I get there.”

Oregon born, raised by the sea, Josi Stephens is a writer of words, designer of clothes, doer of things at Asymbol, lover, fighter and renais-sance woman.

Editor’s Note: As snowboarders near and far shed their blood, sweat and tears over the upcoming issue of Jackson Hole Snowboarder Magazine, we decided to revisit one of our favorite pieces from last year.

W O R D S A N D P H O T O : J O S I S T E P H E N S

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WEEKEND OF NOV. 13n The Addams FamilyFri - Sat Beverly’s Terrace Plaza Playhouse, 99 East 4700 South, South Ogden, 7:30pm, $9.00 - $14.00, 801- 393-0070n Birds of Paradise: Amazing Avian EvolutionFri - Sun Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $9.00 - $13.00, 801-581-6927n Brian Bress: Make Your Own FriendsFri - Sun Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, Salt Lake City, $12.00 - $14.00, 801-581-7332n Carrie: The MusicalFri, Sat, Sat, Sun Sorenson Unity Center, 1383 S. 900 West, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $15.00 - $18.00n Disney On Ice: Dare to DreamFri, Sat, Sat, Sat, Sun, Sun Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W South Temple, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, $20.00 - $50.00n Firelei Baez: Patterns of ResistanceFri - Sat Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S West Temple, Salt Lake City, Freen The FlickFri, Sat, Sun Good Company Theatre, 260 25th street, Ogden, 8:00pm, $15.00 - $17.00n Glass Art Guild of Utah ShowFri - Sun Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, $6.00 - $10.00n Miss Nelson is MissingFri - Sat Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Cir, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, $5.00 - $10.00n Mystery Escape RoomFri - Sat The Gateway, 157 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 9:30am, $29.95n Opening Night: Ben Gaulon, Tyrone Davies, Jean RichardsonFri Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S West Temple, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, Freen Outside MullingarFri, Sat, Sat Pioneer Theater Company, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm, $25.00 - $44.00n Rebecca Klundt: Reformation - A Rearranging of ElementsFri Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande Street, Salt Lake City, 8:00am, Free, 801-245-7272n Redford Film SeriesFri Sundance Mountain Resort, 8841 N Alpine Loop Rd, Sundance, 8:00pm, Free, 801-223-4144n Salt Lake Family Christmas Gift ShowFri - Sun South Towne Expo Center, 9575 S. State Street,

Sandy, 10:00am, $12.50, 1-800-521-7469n Strayboots Interactive Scavenger HuntFri - Sun Salt Lake CIty, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $10.00, 877-787-2929n Young FrankensteinFri, Sat, Sat The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., South Ogden, 7:30pm, $17.00 - $20.00n Sailor Jerry presents: An Evening with LuceroSat, Sun The State Room, 638 S State Street, Salt Lake City, 9:00pm, $30.00

WEEKEND OF NOV. 20n Birds of Paradise: Amazing Avian EvolutionFri - Sun Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $9.00 - $13.00, 801-581-6927n The British Passion for Landscape: Masterpieces from National Museum WalesFri - Sun Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, Salt Lake City, $12.00 - $14.00, 801-581-7332n Firelei Baez: Patterns of ResistanceFri - Sat Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S West Temple, Salt Lake City, Freen The FlickFri, Sat, Sun Good Company Theatre, 260 25th street, Ogden, 8:00pm, $15.00 - $17.00, n Glass Art Guild of Utah ShowFri - Sun Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, $6.00 - $10.00, http://www.redbutte-garden.org/hours_admissionn Grouch Who Stole ChristmasFri - Sat The Off Broadway Theater, 272 South Main St, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $8.00 - $16.00n Mystery Escape RoomFri - Sat The Gateway, 157 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 9:30am, $29.95n Nitro CircusFri Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W South Temple, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, $79.00 - $99.00n Redford Film SeriesFri Sundance Mountain Resort, 8841 N Alpine Loop Rd, Sundance, 8:00pm, Free, 801-223-4144n Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The MusicalFri - Sun Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 8:00pmn Ryan HamiltonFri, Fri, Sat, Sat Wiseguys West Valley City, 2194 W. 3500 South, West Valley City, 7:30pm, $20.00n Young FrankensteinFri - Sun Egyptian Theater Company, 328 Main St, Park City, 8:00pm

WEEKEND OF NOV. 27n Grouch Who Stole ChristmasFri - Sat The Off Broadway Theater, 272 South Main St, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $8.00 - $16.00n Mystery Escape RoomFri - Sat The Gateway, 157 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 9:30am, $29.95n Redford Film SeriesFri Sundance Mountain Resort, 8841 N Alpine Loop Rd, Sundance, 8:00pm, Free, 801-223-4144n Strayboots Interactive Scavenger HuntFri - Sun Salt Lake CIty, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $10.00, 877-787-2929n Young FrankensteinFri - Sun Egyptian Theater Company, 328 Main St, Park City, 8:00pmn New Orleans Pelicans at Utah JazzSat EnergySolutions Arena, 301 W South Temple, Salt Lake City, 7:00

Who’s up for a road trip? There’s plenty to do down south in Salt Lake City next weekend. Whether your interests lie in music, theater and the arts—or something a bit more down-to-earth—here’s what’s going on in the Beehive State. (Visit cityweekly.net/events for complete listings.) So hit the road! But be sure and bring a snack—because, now and then, everybody craves something salty.

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WEEKEND OF DEC. 4n A CHRISTMAS CAROL - 2015 at December 4 - December 23, 2015Fri, Sat, Sat Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 8:00pmn A Visual FeastFri - Sat Horne Fine Art Exhibit, 142 East 800 South, Salt Lake City, Freen ALTA GEAR SWAP 2014Fri - Sat Our Lady of the Snows Center, 10189 East State Highway 210, Alta, 3:00pm, $1.00n Art DogFri - Sun Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North, Salt Lake City, 7:00pmn Art StrollFri Covey Center for the Arts, 425 West Center Street, Provon Bridgette Meinhold: Timing Is EverythingFri - Sun Gallery MAR, 580 Main Street, Park City, 10:00am, Freen The British Passion for Landscape: Masterpieces from National Museum WalesFri - Sun Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, Salt Lake City, $12.00 - $14.00, 801-581-7332n BYUSA: Freeze FestFri Peaks Ice Arena, 100 N Seven Peaks Blvd, Provo, 7:00pmn Celebration of ChristmasFri, Sat, Sat Harris Fine Arts Center, 1 University Hill, Provo, 7:00pmn Christkindlmarkt at This is the PlaceFri - Sat This Is The Place Heritage Park, 2106 Sunnyside Avenue, Salt Lake City, 11:00amn Christmas Around the WorldFri, Sat, Sat Marriott Center, 1497 N 450 E, Provo, 7:30pm,n Christmas from the Ellen Eccles TheatreFri, Sat Ellen Eccles Theatre, 43 S Main St, Logan, 7:30pmn Christmas VillageFri - Sun Municipal Gardens, 25th St. & Grant Ave, Ogden, 801-629-8720n Colors of the SeasonFri - Sun Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, Freen Comedy SportzFri - Sat Comedy Sportz, 36 West Center St., Provo, 8:00pm, $5.00 - $12.00, 801-377-9700n Divine Comedy Best of ShowFri, Fri, Sat, Sat Brigham Young University, 1 University Hill, Provo, 7:00pmn Family VacatonFri - Sun Springville Museum of Art, 126 E 400 S, Springville, Freen Farm to Table BanquetFri Caffe Ibis, 710 W 200 N, Logan, 6:00pm, $20.00n Forever Plaid: Plaid TidingsFri, Sat Empress Theatre, 9104 W. 2700 South, Magna, 7:30pm, $10.00n Forgotten CarolsFri Dee Events Center, 4400 Harrison Blvd, Ogdenn Gallery at the Station Exhibit OpeningFri Gallery at the Station, Ogden, Ut, Ogden, 6:00pmn Glass Art Guild of Utah ShowFri - Sun Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, $6.00 - $10.00n THE GREAT CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE at Gardner VillageFri - Sat Gardner Village, 1100 West 7800 South, West Jordan, 5:30pmn Grouch Who Stole ChristmasFri - Sat The Off Broadway Theater, 272 South Main St, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $8.00 - $16.00n Guest Lecture: Stanley Crouch

Fri - Sat Museum of Art, North Campus Drive, Provo, 10:00amn Haskell Fighting Indians at Utah State Aggies Womens BasketballFri Dee Glen Smith Spectrum, 7600 Old Main Hill, Logan, 7:00pmn Health + PictureplaneFri The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm, $12.00 - $14.00n Holiday Group ExhibitFri Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, Freen Holiday LightsFri - Sat Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 6:00pmn The Holiday ShowFri Artspace City Center, 230 S. 500 West, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, Freen It Happened One ChristmasFri - Sat Pioneer Theater Company, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 7:30pmn It’s a Wonderful Life: The MusicalFri - Sat SCERA, 745 S State, Orem, 7:30pm, $12.00n Joseph Smith Memorial Building 2015 Christmas Art Showcase and Art SaleFri - Sat Joseph Smith Memorial Building, 15 E South Temple, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, Freen Joyful Noise at Brinton Black BoxFri - Sat Covey Center for the Arts, 425 West Center Street, Provo, 7:30pmn Julie Moffitt Ballet School presents The Nutcracker BalletFri, Sat, Sat Peerys Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Boulevard, Ogden, 7:00pm,n Jump After DarkFri - Sat The wAIRhouse Indoor Trampoline Park, 3653 South 500 West, Salt Lake City, 6:00pmn Mystery Escape RoomFri - Sat The Gateway, 157 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 9:30am, $29.95n No Place Like HomeFri - Sat Museum of Art, North Campus Drive, Provo, Free, 801-422-8287n North Pole ExpressFri, Sat Heber Valley Historic Railroad, 450 South 6th West, Heber City, 2:00pm, $45.00n Picasso, Warhol, and Other Modernist Prints On ViewFri Museum of Art, North Campus Drive, Provo, 10:00amn Picturing the Iconic: Andy Warhol to Kara WalkerFri - Sat Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., Park City, Freen PigeonsFri - Sun Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $9.00 - $13.00, 801-581-6927n Rain Day Regional - SLCFri Salt Lake Marriott Downtown at City Creek, Salt Lake City, 7:00pmn Reindeer TrekFri, Sat Willow Park Zoo, 419 W. 700 S., Logan, 4:00pm, $2.50 - $3.00n Santa PhotosFri - Sun Provo Towne Centre, 1200 Towne Centre Blvd., Provo, 6:00pmn Scrooge - A Christmas CarolFri - Sat Beverly’s Terrace Plaza Playhouse, 99 East 4700 South, South Ogden, 7:30pm, $9.00 - $14.00n Simple Treasures Holiday Boutique in OgdenFri - Sat Golden Spike Events Center, 1000 N 1200 W, South Ogden, 10:00am, $1.00n Songwriter ShowcaseFri Harris Fine Arts Center, 1 University Hill, Provo, 7:00pm

Support Local BrandsFind us on KickStarter

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Frugal, Friendly... and French? Yes, you can drink French wine on a budget.BY TED SCHEFFLER

@critic1

I’ll bet that if you played a word- association game with most people and asked for their first thought to describe

French wines, “expensive” and “quality” would be two of the most common descrip-tions. It’s not that the French are incapable of making bad wine; I’ve had a few such bottles. But, they are rare. The French have a proven, proud history of quality wine-making.

Unfortunately, most of the best French wines are beyond my budget, and maybe beyond yours. As much as I lust after wines like Domaine de la Romanée-Conti, Château Pétrus, Salon, Château Cheval Blanc, Château Lafite Rothschild and such,

I can’t afford to drink them except on lucky occasions when some wealthy wine aficio-nado pours me a sip.

Still, I drink French wine regularly. That’s because, thankfully, there are a lot of really good French wines available that do fit my budget. I might not mistake any of them for Pétrus, but they’re great everyday French wines that won’t break the bank. Here are a few of my favorites:

If you look beyond the Champagne region of France for French bubbly, you’ll find bar-gains. One is Lucien Albrecht Crémant d’Al-sace Brut ($19.99). The Albrecht family has been making wine in Alsace since 1425, and this light, delicate Brut is made just like spar-kling wine from Champagne—by the méth-ode traditionnelle—but utilizing Pinot Blanc, Pinot Gris and Riesling grapes. It makes for a terrific aperitif or partner for light fare.

While we’re in Alsace, we should also pick up a bottle of good Pinot Gris, one of the region’s wine specialties. I love Domaines Schlumberger Pinot Gris Les Princes Abbés ($21.99), a well-balanced Pinot Gris with apri-cot, white peach and honey notes, combined with a hint of smoke. It’s an ideal accompa-niment for Alsatian choucroute garni. And, although it costs a little more than I usual-ly spend on everyday wine, there’s nothing “everyday” about Domaine Zind-Humbrecht Gewürztraminer ($28.76), which is about as good as Gewürztraminer gets. Beautiful

floral rose aro-mas accompa-ny elegant spice tones and fla-vors of lychee, apricot and gin-ger. It’s a match made in heaven for foie gras.

One of my go-to house white w ines is Le Cirque Grenache Gris ($13.99). It’s aged in stain-less steel, with no malolactic fermentation—but is quite aromatic with notes of honeysuckle. On the pal-ate are ripe melon f lavors as well as white peach and pineapple. I drink this wine often with sushi.

Maybe it’s not Puligny-Montrachet, but at least I can afford to reach for a bottle of white Burgundy when it’s Albert Bichot Mâcon-Villages ($14.99). It’s 100-percent Chardonnay from the Mâconnais region of southern Burgundy and is an excellent match for cream sauces, shellfish, seafood, white meats and Gruyere cheese. I served it on

Valentine’s Day w ith lobster risotto.

If you’re in the market for a red Bordeaux wine with much bet-ter than average price-to-quality ratio, Château Les Verriers B o r d e a u x ($10.75) is a wine that delivers. Seriously? Ten-buck Bordeaux? Yup. This wine was a slam-dunk with a hearty la daube de boeuf a l’Avignonnais

that I cooked up recently. For about a dollar more, Château du Juge Bordeaux ($11.99) from the right bank of the Garonne River Valley is another hard bargain to beat.

Finally, from one of the oldest vineyards in France—dating back more than 2,000 years—comes M. Chapoutier Belleruche Côtes-du-Rhône ($12.99). It’s a wine with firm, silky tannins, f lavors of morello cherries, anise and pepper. It’s a can’t-miss match for steak au poivre. PJH

IMBIBEBEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Trio is located just off the town square indowntown Jackson, and is owned & operatedby local chefs with a passion for good food.Our menu features contemporary Americandishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Dailyspecials feature wild game, fish and meats.Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front ofthe wood-burning oven and watch the chefsperform in the open kitchen.

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm

45 S. Glenwood

Available for private events & catering

For reservations please call 734-8038

Lunch 11:30am Monday-SaturdayDinner 5:30pm Nightly

307.201.1717 | LOCALJH.COMON THE TOWN SQUARE

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

Local is a modern American steakhouse andbar located on Jackson’s historic town square.Serving locally raised beef and, regional game,fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food,Local offers the perfect setting for lunch,drinks or dinner.

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Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some

of our dining critic’s faves!

ASIAN & CHINESETETON THAIServing the world’s most exciting cuisine. Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily. 7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 733-0022 and in Driggs, (208) 787-8424, tetonthai.com.

KAZUMIKazumi is a family-owned and operated restaurant serving unique sushi rolls, fresh sashimi and nigiri, and off-the-charts specialty items. Located near the Town Square, we also feature hot noodle soups and the spiciest rolls in town! Open Monday through Saturday at 11 a.m - 9:30 p.m. 265 West Broadway, 307-733-9168, jacksonholesushi.com.

CONTINENTALTHE BLUE LIONA Jackson Hole favorite for 37 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home. Ask a local about our rack of lamb. Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights. Open at 5:30 p.m. Closed Tuesdays. Off Season Special: 2 for 1 Entrees. Good all night. Must mention ad. Reservations recommended, walk-ins welcome. 160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com

CAFE GENEVIEVEServing inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer. 135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh.com.

ELEANOR’SEnjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting. Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd. Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily. 832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

McDonald’s November Locals Special®

ONLY$499+ tax

Get a Big Mac®, Medium Fries and a Medium Soft Drink for only $4.99 plus tax

during the month of November.

Fast, Affordable and On Your Way!

1110 W. BroadwayJackson, Wyoming

Open daily 5:00am to midnightFree Wi-Fi

THE LOCALSFAVORITE

PIZZA2012, 2013

& 2014

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

7 LUNCH SPECIALSlice, salad

& soda$4 Well Drink

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Under the Pink Garter Theatre(307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

$

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always

a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a uniquedining experience. The personable staff will make youfeel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will

keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Reservati ons a t (307) 733-4 913

32 95 Vi lla ge Drive • Teton Vill age , WYwww.mangymoose .com

WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

Serving breakfast and lunch daily 8am - 3pm 145 N. Glenwood(307) 734-0882

• • • • • • •

Breakfast • Lunch

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FULL STEAM SUBSThe deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads. We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

LOCALLocal, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square. Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We  offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locally-sourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local  is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Lunch Mon-Sat 11:30am. Dinner Nightly 5:30pm. 55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

LOTUS CAFEServing organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner. 145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

MANGY MOOSEMangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose.com.

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANTAmerica’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $9 lunch menu. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. 265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

SWEETWATERSatisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food. Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad, elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties. Dinner 5:30 to 9 p.m. including potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game. Reservations welcome. (307) 733-3553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

TRIOOwned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations. (307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

ITALIANCALICOA Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m. 2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

MEXICANEL ABUELITOServing authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere. Home of the original Jumbo Margarita. Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. 385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

PIZZADOMINO’S PIZZAHot and delicious delivered to your door. Hand-tossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery. 520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’SThe locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts. Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m. 50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965

Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm(307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT

PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE

HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS

FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS

TAKE OUT AVAILABLE

(307) 733-0330520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

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Large Specialty Pizza 1399 $ADD: for an extra

$5.99/eachWings (8 pc)Medium Pizza (1 topping)Stuffed Cheesy Bread

2FOR1ENTREES

OFF SEASON SPECIAL

733-3912160 N. Millward • Reservations recommended

Reserve online at bluelionrestaurant.com

Good all night • Open nightly at 5:30pmClosed tuesdays • Ends December 10th

307-733-3448 | Open Daily 11am-7pm180 N. Center St. | 1 block n. of Town Square

Next to Home Ranch Parking Lot

Steamed SubsHot Dogs

Soups & SaladsThe Deli That’ll Rock Your Belly

Go to devourutah.comfor pick up locations

p. 14

p. 39

p. 46

It’s time to

Do It Yourself

Issue 6 • September/October 2015 • DIY

Good seeds p. 28

YourselfYourselfIt’s time to do it

Hands-on

restaurant design

p. 14

Meet SLC’s artisan

butcher

p. 38

The Jewish deli

from NYC to SLC

p. 46

265 WEST BROADWAY307-733-9168

JACKSONHOLESUSHI.COM

BUY 1 GET 1 APPETIZERS

LIMIT 1 PER A TABLE

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Mitigating Familial ConflictJust in time for the holidays: How to let go of destructive family patterns.

Holiday time usually includes spending time with the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly of

family dynamics and individual personal-ities. A measure of spiritual maturity and a key to personal freedom is the ability to accept others for who they are and to no longer get hooked by any of those people whom you find challenging.

The truth is that holding on to being angry with family members, feeling deprived by them, wanting them to be different from how they are, or trying to fix them are all a set up for draining your energy, dragging you down, undermining your self-worth and sidetracking you from being your best self.

Everyone reacts defensively to being judged as “less than.” We are all capable of changing, but first we have to want to change and then commit to doing the required hard work.

Practice AcceptanceAcceptance is a state of being in which

you are an objective observer… like a newspaper reporter. You see what is hap-pening and do not take it personally or add any opinion. The ability to simply observe allows you to remain neutral in the presence of other people’s quirks and negativity. You can simply notice that your mother/father is “at it again.” The min-ute you take their behavior personally, react emotionally and judge them, you are hooked.

Practice CompassionAnother helpful truth to keep in your

mind and heart is that everyone is doing

the best they can with what they have. Every member of your family has their own soul, their own learning lessons, their own history, their own skills and flaws, perceptions and misperceptions of events, which they experienced and which have nothing to do with you. Knowing this, you can stop taking them personally and shift to being compassionate and kind. As the Dali Lama says, “Whenever possible be kind. It is always possible.”

Make LemonadeThe metaphysical view is that what

your parents (siblings and relatives) can/do give you and what they cannot/don’t give you are equally important parts of the intentional software for your own evolu-tion. Of course it is important (and easier) to appreciate and benefit from the good qualities your parents and others bring/brought to your experience.

You can make lemonade of all that you didn’t get from your family of origin when you realize that what they did not have to give is what you intend to evolve and refine in yourself this life. If they were too critical, it is for you to be non-judgmental with yourself and others. If they were not affectionate enough, it is for you to add being affectionate to your repertoire. If they were not present, it is for you to show up and be present to yourself and others. You get the gist.

Create MiraclesWhen you lovingly let go of your part of

the family pattern, seeming miracles often happen. Because you are not projecting your disapproval, they do not feel the need to attack or defend. Since you are no longer available, they let go or move on to some-one else who is more available to engage in the “fight.”

Find Your Soul FamilyWe all have biological family members

with whom we may or many not have ease or soul connection. And we also have soul families who are people with whom there is an undeniable, easy, mutual deep affection and connection. Pursuing rela-tionships with these folks will give you the kind of supportive family experience you may not have or have not had at home. And if you are already blessed with wonderful relationships in your biological family, adding soul family members extends the circle of love. PJH

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality,former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant.

Got a Cosmic Question? Email [email protected]

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“GOING ON A BENDER” By Bruce Haight

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2015

ACROSS01 Gets hitched06 Unpopular party gal011 Goes 0 for 20, say015 Get some fresh air017 Complained018 Drives unsteadily019 Give an edge to020 Maestro Toscanini021 Half of a storybook duo022 Knocks in the theater023 Seafood entrée025 Put an edge on027 Big Ten sch.028 “The Simpsons” disco guy029 Director’s cry030 Already032 Growth period033 Former South African president for whom a gold coin is named034 Caine captain035 Stopped lying?036 One may be personal038 Harold’s film partner039 Leading040 Book intros041 Wisecracks042 Pac-Man feature043 Call it a night044 Salad veggies045 How some Niagara stunts are done048 Buttermilk rider049 Bee output050 Rains cats and dogs052 Zebra on a court053 Link clicker’s destination054 Wax eloquent ... and what to do to solve eight puzzle clues056 “The Clan of the Cave Bear” heroine

057 __-Cat058 Beauty’s admirer059 Hardly seaworthy060 Divulge062 Violin-playing comedian063 Price-fixing bloc064 Spots to crash on the road065 Physics particle066 They may be seconded067 Hogties069 __ willow070 “Now We Are Six” author071 __ Sack072 Extremely073 Confrontations074 Vanquishers of kings075 “Designing Women” actress Annie076 Giving an edge to077 Large vessel080 Collar081 Staff note082 Motley, as a crew083 Options list084 Matured086 Ewan’s “Moulin Rouge!” co-star089 Fill with crayons091 Commercial charge092 Charm093 “I’m okay with that”

DOWN01 Recipe amts.02 Buddhist who has attained Nirvana03 Reeves of “The Lake House”04 Wave catchers?05 Indy letters06 Bureau division07 Merits08 Comic’s routines

09 __-ray Disc010 Comparative suffix011 Cops012 Creator of Q and M013 Plugs for tubes?014 Escorts to the door016 Infuriates018 “That was a close one!”024 Taiwan-based computer company026 Monopolize029 Group below abbots030 Removes from the schedule031 Affirmative votes032 Having less coverage033 Tigers Hall of Fame outfielder Al034 “Shh”035 Hat stats036 Two-time U.S. Open champ037 __ cuff: shoulder muscles038 One of Fran’s puppets039 Only NFL quarterback with more than 10,000 pass attempts040 Keep battling041 “Jaws” shark hunter042 Timid044 Junkyard dogs046 Fitting comment?047 Greek049 Campus areas050 Popular frat activity051 Like some chards054 Shore fliers055 Name of eight English kings056 Typically wet times058 Toss about, as ideas060 Filling fully

061 Flirtatious signals062 Arrests063 More than breaking even065 Pack it in066 Rock band 10,000 __067 Captain Morgan rival068 Emotionally cold type069 Play a trick (on)070 Close relative071 Passenger’s direction at the corner072 Iranian holy city073 Trigger rider075 Toon skunk Le Pew076 Anaheim team, in sportscasts077 Frost lines?078 Jungian principle079 Pitched well?081 Many a shelter resident082 Cowboys quarterback Tony083 Light-loving flier085 Nursery noise087 Business magazine088 Monopoly token090 __ Fáil: Irish coronation stone

L.A.TIMES

SUDOKU Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

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These businesses provide health or wellness services for the Jackson Hole community and its visitors.WELLNESS COMMUNITY

TO ADVERTISE IN THE WELLNESS DIRECTORY, CONTACT JEN AT PLANET JACKSON HOLE AT 307-732-0299 OR [email protected]

Deep TissueSports Massage

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PERSONALIZED METABOLIC & NUTRITIONAL MEDICINEANTI-AGING & FUNCTIONAL MEDICINE

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and disease, and often eliminate them

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(307)200-4850 | wycoh.com | 1490 Gregory Lane

Physical Therapy • Sports Medicine • Massage • Occupational Therapy

• Chinese Medicine • Chiropractic Care • Nutrition • Fitness • Yoga • Acupuncture

• Pilates • Personal Training • Mental Health • Energy Therapy • Homeopathy •

Aromatherapy • Sound Therapy • Healing Arts Gallery

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Offering integrated health and wellness services for a healthy body,

happy mind, & balanced spirit

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Professional and Individualized Treatments • Sports/Ortho Rehab • Neck and Back Rehab • Rehabilitative Pilates • Incontinence Training • Pelvic Pain Rehab • Lymphedema TreatmentsNorene Christensen PT, DSc, OCS, CLTRebekah Donley PT, DPT, CPIMark Schultheis PT, CSCSKim Armington PTA, CPINo physician referral required.(307) 733-5577•1090 S Hwy 89

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGYBY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)“I demand unconditional love and complete freedom,” wrote Slovenian poet Tomaž Šalamun. “That is why I am terrible.” In accordance with the astrological omens, I’m offering you the chance, at least temporarily, to join Šalamun in demanding unconditional love and complete freedom. But unlike him, you must satisfy one condition: Avoid being terrible. Can you do that? I think so, although you will have to summon unprecedented amounts of emotional intelligence and collaborative ingenuity.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)You have the answers you need, but you keep sniffing around as if there were different or better answers to be had. Moreover, you’ve been offered blessings that could enable you to catalyze greater intimacy, but you’re bare-ly taking advantage of them—apparently because you underestimate their potency. Here’s what I think: As long as you neglect the gifts you have already been granted, they won’t provide you with their full value. If you give them your rapt appreciation, they will bloom.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875-1950) tried to earn a living by selling pencil sharpeners, but couldn’t make it. In frus-tration, he turned to writing novels. Success! Among his many popular novels, 27 of them were about a fictional character named Tarzan. The actor who played Tarzan in the movies based on Burroughs’ books was Johnny Weissmuller. As a child, he suffered from polio, and rebuilt his strength by becoming a swimmer. He eventually won five Olympic gold medals. Burroughs and Weissmuller are your role models in the coming weeks, Gemini. It’s a favorable time for you to turn defeat into victory.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)Artist Andy Warhol had an obsession with green under-pants. In fact, that’s all he ever wore beneath his clothes. It might be fun and productive for you to be inspired by his private ritual. Life is virtually conspiring to ripen your libido, stimulate your fertility, and expedite your growth. So anything you do to encourage these cosmic tenden-cies could have an unusually dramatic impact. Donning green undies might be a good place to start. It would send a playful message to your subconscious mind that you are ready and eager to bloom.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)In the coming weeks, take special notice of the jokes and humorous situations that prompt you to laugh the loudest. They will provide important clues about the parts of your life that need liberation. What outmoded or irrelevant taboos should you consider breaking? What inhibitions are dampening your well-being? How might your conscience be overstepping its bounds and mak-ing you unnecessarily constrained? Any time you roar with spontaneous amusement, you will know you have touched a congested place in your psyche that is due for a cleansing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)For each of the last 33 years, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in Los Angeles has selected a “National Hero Dog.” It’s an award given to a canine that has shown exceptional courage in helping or rescuing people. In 2015, the group departed from tradition. Its “National Hero Dog” is a female cat named Tara. Last May, she saved a four-year-old boy by scaring off a dog that had begun to attack him. I’m guessing you will soon have an experience akin to Tara’s. Maybe you’ll make a gutsy move that earns you an unexpected honor. Maybe you’ll carry out a dramatic act of compassion that’s widely appreciated. Or maybe you’ll go outside your comfort zone to pull off a noble feat that elevates your reputation.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)According to cartoon character Homer Simpson, “Trying is the first step towards failure.” I don’t agree with that comic advice. But I do think the following variant will be applicable to you in the coming weeks: “Trying *too

hard* is the first step toward failure.” So please don’t try *too hard,* Libra! Over-exertion should be taboo. Straining and struggling would not only be unnecessary, but counterproductive. If you want to accomplish any-thing worthwhile, make sure that your default emotion is relaxed confidence. Have faith in the momentum gen-erated by all the previous work you have done to arrive where you are now.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)Elsie de Wolfe (1859-1950) was a pioneer in the art of interior design. She described herself as “a rebel in an ugly world.” Early in her career she vowed, “I’m going to make everything around me beautiful,” and she often did just that. In part through her influence, the dark, cluttered decor of the Victorian Era, with its bulky draperies and overly ornate furniture, gave way to rooms with brighter light, softer colors, and more inviting textures. I’d love to see you be inspired by her mission, Scorpio. It’s a good time to add extra charm, grace, and comfort to your environments.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)At the age of 36, author Franz Kafka composed a 47-page letter to his father Herman. As he described the ways that his dad’s toxic narcissism and emotional abuse had skewed his maturation process, he refrained from lashing out with histrionic anger. Instead he focused on objec-tively articulating the facts, recounting events from child-hood and analyzing the family dynamic. In accordance with the astrological omens, I recommend that you write a letter to your own father—even if it’s filled with praise and gratitude instead of complaint. At this juncture in your life story, I think you especially need the insights that this exercise would generate. (P.S. Write the letter for your own sake, not with the hope of changing or hurting or pleasing your dad. You don’t have to give it to him.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)Shizo Kanakuri was one of Japan’s top athletes when he went to compete in the marathon race at the 1912 Stockholm Olympics. Partway through the event, fatigued by sweltering heat, bad food, and the long journey he’d made to get there, Kanakuri passed out. He recovered with the help of a local farmer, but by then the contest was over. Embarrassed by his failure, he sneaked out of Sweden and returned home. Fast forward to 1966. Producers of a TV show tracked him down and invited him to resume what he’d started. He agreed. At the age of 74, he completed the marathon, finishing with a time of 54 years, eight months. I think it’s time to claim your own personal version of this opportunity, Capricorn. Wouldn’t you love to resolve a process that got interrupted?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)In most sporting events, there’s never any doubt about which competitor is winning. Each step of the way, the participants and spectators know who has more points or goals or runs. But one sport isn’t like that. In a boxing match, no one is aware of the score until the contest is finished—not even the boxers themselves. I think you’re in a metaphorically comparable situation. You won’t find out the final tally or ultimate decision until the “game” is com-plete. Given this uncertainty, I suggest that you don’t slack off even a little. Keep giving your best until the very end.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)One night as you lie sleeping in your bed, you will dream of flying through the sunny summer sky. The balmy air will be sweet to breathe. Now and then you will flap your arms like wings, but mostly you will glide effortlessly. The feeling that flows through your body will be a blend of exhilaration and ease. Anywhere you want to go, you will maneuver skillfully to get there. After a while, you will soar to a spot high above a scene that embodies a knotty problem in your waking life. As you hover and gaze down, you will get a clear intuition about how to untie the knots. Whether or not you remember this dream, the next day you will work some practical magic that begins to shrink or dissolve the problem.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

Highbrow Hog IslandPublic art to heighten Hoback sophistication.BY CLYDE THORNHILL

Carry Gervaise, director of the Greater Hog Island/Hoback Public Art Task

Force, presented conceptual drawings for a public art project during the Hog Island Council meeting last week.

“What we are proposing,” she said, “Is a grove of trees made from steel pipes with lights on the end. The pipes will evoke nature, forcing passersby to consider their place in the natural world, in the Hog Island ecosystem, in Greater Yellowstone, in the Rocky Mountain West and ultimately the planet!” She exclaimed.

Designer John Fleming, whose most recent creation included the Willow Grove pipes on West Broadway, spoke to the coun-cil. “The art piece is meant to announce the entrance to the heart of Hog Island,” he proclaimed, (as if the beer cans and bullet holes in signs need clarification). “Best of all, the display will attract cultural visitors providing millions of dollars in revenue. The project will encourage harmonious growth, decrease stress and reduce some types of cancer, heart disease and lead to a more productive, happy and enlightened citizenry.”

Commissioner Charles Ray questioned the environmental impact of milling pipes, trucking them across the country, excavat-ing a massive foundation, and the use of electricity. “Why not just plant a willow to evoke nature?” he asked.

“Eliminating such provincial thinking is another attribute of steel trees!” Fleming snorted.

“What about the tree cell tower on the hill?” Commissioner Forest Clint asked.

“That’s not art,” Gervaise said. “It’s a cell tower; art must be for art’s sake or it can never be a true nature evoker.”

Gervaise reminded the council that a large part of the funding will be provided by LOR Foundation.

“How much is a large part?” asked the council.

“Keeping the amount undefined will allow greater creativity.” Gervaise explained. “But for artistic visionary

purposes, just how much is the Hog Island Council prepared to invest in this worthy and soul moving project?”

According to treasurer Pervis Luther, there was 187.26 dollars saved to help Hog Island host the WWMWFC (Women’s World Mud Wrestling Federation Championship).

“That’s all!” Designer John Fleming demanded as he stomped out, forcing the council to come up with their own plan to evoke nature. Bob Thornton’s wife offered to move Bob’s 74 Chevy, the one that had been on blocks in his front yard for the past seven years, closer to the highway. Roy Tyler’s wife suggested that her hus-band’s 72 Ford, which had been on blocks in his front yard for the past 12 years, would also be a good fit. Several fist fights broke out concerning passionate remarks about the relative merits and faults of Fords and Chevys. In a display of love, tolerance and acceptance, the Hog Island Council arrived at an agreement. They decided to place the Ford on the south side of the highway pointed north and south and the Chevy on the north side of the highway pointed east and west. This nature-evoking display, the council explained, represents the four sacred directions, the four elements–earth, wind, water and fire, the four foods–bacon, pork ribs, bacon burgers and biscuits, and of course, four wheel drive. PJH

REDNECK PERSPECTIVESATIRE

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ATTENTION

www.wyomingnorml.org

If you1. believe that medical marijuana

and hemp should be legally

available in WY

2. are a registered WY voter

Please sign the petition to support a

ballot initiative for the Peggy A. Kelley

Wyoming Cannabis Act of 2016

CALL OR TEXT Angel Dillon 307-256-6637

Danielle Christenson 937-789-1053

and a representative from WY

chapter of National Organization

for the Reform of Marijuana Laws

(NORML) will bring a petition to you

to sign at your convenience.

IF YOU SUPPORT THIS WE NEED YOUR SIGNATURE

TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!