Phrase of the Day: Grant Application Proposal

• What’s the matter with this phrase?• How would you rephrase it?

When Editing, Trust Your Gut

• If you don’t understand something…– Try to determine what’s wrong.• Is the thinking unclear?• Are relationships between things unclear?• Are there too many ideas in the sentence?• Are the ideas or sentences out of logical order?• Does wordiness obscure the ideas?

– Talk out the situation with the author (per Style and Ethics).

When an Editor Says…

• “I didn’t like this.”– Ask for more specifics.

• “I didn’t understand this.”– Discuss to tease out what the problem is.

Incorporating the Editor’s Comments

• Evaluate the comments as a whole and each one individually.

• If you decide no, you’re done with that one!• If yes, determine why and how.– You may not agree with the editor’s idea, but it may

suggest other problems and/ways of solving those problems.• There may be options other than the specific one

suggested by the editor.

– Partial incorporation may be the right solution.

When Something Is So Hard to Understand,

You Think It Needs to Be Rewritten

• Make a list of the major points.• Order those points in a logical way.• Eliminate the points that are irrelevant or

seem of lesser importance.– Or save them at the bottom of the list.

• Add transitions between ideas and sentences to make the text flow.

Sample Paragraph (Points Are Reordered to Create This Exercise)

Cameras were equipped on high-altitude balloons to capture images during flight. Low-cost systems capable of capturing full 360-degree panoramic images at high altitudes are rare or only available to space and government agencies. High-altitude balloon images are a great motivational tool for engineering and science students. Images serve as visual documentation of the mission and provide insight into system behavior during flight. Motivation for a multi-camera photography system came from the need to give the operator a 360-degree view. UC San Diego’s high-altitude balloon-imaging system consists of an array of six synchronized cameras to compose a 360-degree panoramic image.

Main Points of the Paragraph

• Low-cost, 360-degree camera systems are rare or only available to space and gov’t agencies.

• UCSD created a high-altitude balloon imaging system (with technical specifics about it).

• Motivation for developing the system.• How the resulting images were used.• Another use of the images: motivational tool.

Sample RewriteLow-cost imaging systems capable of capturing full 360-degree panoramic images at high altitudes are rare. They are typically only available to space and government agencies. (general context and specific detail about who has them)In this context, UC San Diego created a high-altitude imaging system consisting of an array of six synchronized cameras equipped on balloons to compose a 360-degree panoramic image. (specifics of what UCSD did)Cameras were equipped on high-altitude balloons to capture images during flight. This multi-camera photography system was motivated by the need to provide the operator a 360-degree view. (motivation for developing the system)The resulting images visually documented the mission and provided insight into system behavior during flight. (outcome)These images have also proven to be a great motivational tool for engineering and science students. (secondary, surprising outcome)

Working with Public Information Officers

May 30, 2012

From Dennis Meredith’s website: Working with Public Information Officers, http://issuu.com/dennismeredith/docs/working_with_public_information_officers

Purpose of PIOs• Offer help

– Can help you tell your story most effectively• Provide access to communications media and important audiences• Work as “institutional ambassadors” with senior administrators• Can provide training on how to interact with the media (e.g., in interviews)• Can be at

– Universities (most free)– National labs (chain of approval)– Government organizations (politics)– Corporations (communication objectives driven by strategic objectives of the

companies• Research that is “translational”• Legal and regulatory framework• Protection of IP• Trends

– Journals– Scientific societies– Funding agencies

Why You Should Work with PIOs

• Helps you pay back your university or organization– You underscore the value of research at UCSD– Resulting stories can help attract talented faculty,

students• Helps PIOs place stories to give taxpayers

reasons to want to fund you

Two Types of PIOs: The “Sales Rep”

• Hawks your “product” (research) with little consideration of substance and appropriate audience

• Thinks in terms of sales rather than the quality of the news

• Pitches stories indiscriminately to the media, then complains when stories don’t appear

• Uses terms like “breakthrough” and “major discovery”

• Has less credibility with journalists and thus less success “placing” your story

The “Journalist”• Tries to be more of a resource for journalists than a

pitchman• Concentrates on the substance of your work• Has general knowledge of your field• Asks leading questions to elicit most effective lay-

level explanation of your work• Targets your story to the most appropriate outlets –

knows individual reporters and their specific interests• Is member of the National Association of Science

Writers, American Medical Writers Association, etc.

Things PIOs Do• Write and distribute news releases• Pitch feature story ideas• Provide photography, multimedia, social media support services• Provide “clipping services” of stories that appear• Help develop media strategy• Brief journalist before s/he talks with you• Brief you on the expertise and target audience of individual reporters

(to help you target your language)• Counsel you; prepare you to answer tough questions

– Credibility with reporters– Reputation management

• Can help you see the broader implications of your work• Help you in crisis situations

– Accusation of research fraud– Lab accident

Get to Know Your PIO – Questions to Ask

• What do you understand about my research area?• Where is your office in the org chart?– VP of communication– Marketing or development

• How is the news/communications office structured?– “Beat” system

• What are your office’s news policies?– Can journalists contact me directly?

How You Can Help Your PIO: Educate and Prepare

• Provide access to senior researchers• Share your communication needs and expectations

– Cover of Science vs. 1-para news item and Chemical & Engineering News?• Plan communication early on

– Invite the PIO to participate in lab meetings to become acquainted with the work, esp. if it has the potential to be controversial, and explain the communications process

• Provide good stories• Contact the PIO before your paper is published in a scholarly journal (esp.

Science, Nature) – news release• Contact the PIO if you have expertise on a topic in the news and would be willing

to comment to the media• Ask for the PIO’s help when you get a request for a lay-language summary of

your work• Offer ideas for images and video to accompany press releases• Propose communication training for your group• Embed your PIO in field trips and expeditions

Tips for Working on Press Releases• Do not suffer a rough draft

– Should be well written from the start– Something “unfixable” may be just a matter of a different word choice

• Provide a single point of contact for all suggested changes so the PIO doesn’t have to sort through potentially competing comments

• Respect the news release writing style– Accessible, lay-level explanation– Few technical details and caveats

• Do not accept hype or overselling• Negotiate editorially as equals• Understand brand name issues and sensitivities

– UC San Diego, The Jacobs School of Engineering• Bring the story to life: human interest stories (personal background,

opinions), conceptual background, potential applications

Last Assignment: Due June 4

• Write 500 words on a topic in your major area for your PIO who is not familiar with it. – Provide background information/context, why the topic is

important, what's known about it, what the challenges are (what's not known, experimental difficulties related to the topic, current debates in the field, etc.), what your area of specialty is within the topic, why you find it exciting, etc.

– Try to anticipate questions the PIO is likely to have. • In a few paragraphs, explain your thought process how/why

you presented the information you did, what problems you were anticipating, and anything you learned from this exercise.