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Communica)on Styles, Pet Peeves, and why it doesn’t ma/er who is right

PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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Page 1: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

Communica)on  Styles,  Pet  Peeves,  and  

why  it  doesn’t  ma/er  who  is  right  

Page 2: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

What  to  Expect      2/3  =    Communica8on  Styles      -­‐  Inventory      -­‐  Explora6on  

1/3  =    “Pet  Peeves”      -­‐  Defini6on  &  Examples      -­‐  Discovery  

Page 3: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

What makes communication challenging?

Page 4: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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Page 5: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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Comple)ng  the  CSI  

 þ  This  inventory  consists  of  24  statements  concerning  your  communica6on  style.      þ  Read  each  statement  and  circle  the  number  that  best  describes  your  behavior.  

 5  –  Always    4  –  Usually    3  –  Some1mes  2  –  Rarely  1  –  Never  

þ       Complete  the  CSI.  þ       Be  candid.  þ       The  results  are  confiden6al  and  will  be  available  to  you  only.  

   

Page 6: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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Communica)on  Style  Inventory    Scoring  Instruc)ons  

1. Circle  the  following  ques6ons:  1,  4,  6,  8,  9,  10,  12,  15,  18,  19,  20,  and  23.    Total  your  answers  for  the  ques6ons  circled  and  enter  the  total  in  the  “Step  1  Total”  box.  

2. Total  your  scores  for  the  other  ques6ons  2,  3,  5,  7,  11,  13,  14,  16,  17,  21,  22,  and  24.  Enter  that  number  in  the  “Step  2  Total”  box.  

3. Transfer  the  total  to  the  boxes  on  the  back  of  the                                      inventory.  

4.  Add  your  Step  1  Total  to  72,  and  subtract  your  Step  2  Total.  The  resul)ng  number  is  your  communica)on  style  score.  

Page 7: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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 Enter:    Step  1  Total                      Add:  72          Subtotal  Enter  and  subtract        

   Step  2  Total  –              CSI  Score  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .                

Scoring  the  CSI:  An  Example  

43  

+72  

115  

   30  

   85  

Page 8: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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The  Communica)on  Style  Con)nuum  

Internalizing   Externalizing                    

Externalizing:  A  style  that  emphasizes  sharing  informa6on—opinions,  thoughts,  and  feelings—with  the  thought  that  others  want  and  need  to  know  what  you’re  thinking.  

Internalizing:  A  style  that  emphasizes  analysis;  withholding  one’s  opinions,  thoughts,  and  feelings;  and  being  a\en6ve  to  others’  opinions,  thoughts,  and  feelings.  

Page 9: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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The  Communica)on  Style  Con)nuum  

Internalizing   Externalizing                  

Talka6ve  Open  Blunt  

Outgoing  Demanding  Domina6ng  Self-­‐Centered  

Direct  Controlling  Expressive  

Overshadowing  Impa6ent  Uninhibited  

 

72  24   120  Listening  

 

Scarcely  Verbal    

Closed    

Sensi6ve                                                

Easily  Withdrawn    

Undemanding    

Indirect    

Controlled    

Nonexpressive    

Reserved    

Pa6ent    

Inhibited  

 68  69  70  71  72  73  74  75  76  

55  56  57  58  59  60  61  62  63  64  65  66  67  

 77  78  79  80  81  82  83  84  

85  86  87  88  89  

Page 10: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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The  Communica)on  Style  Con)nuum  

Internalizing   Externalizing                  72  24   120  

 What  do  you  see  as  poten6al  advantages  and  disadvantages  of  

each  style?  

Page 11: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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► Ar6culate  ► Direct  ► Open  ► Outgoing  ► Able  to  take  charge  ► Influen6al    

 

► Less  aware  of  nonverbal  cues  

► Blas6ng  ► Too  quick  to  respond  ► Verbally  abusive  ► Insensi6ve  ► Too  direc6ve  

EXTERNALIZING:  

LIABILITIES  ASSETS  

Page 12: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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► Sensi6ve  ► Effec6ve  listener  ► More  able  to  

compromise  ► Likable  ► Verbally  sensi6ve  ► Aware  of  nonverbal  cues    

► Avoiding  ► Too  slow  to  respond  ► Unclear  ► May  be  taken  less  seriously  ► Overly  sensi6ve  ► Diminished  impact  

INTERNALIZING:    

LIABILITIES  ASSETS  

Page 13: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

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Externalizing   Internalizing  

Manage conflict Engage the person

Step up and communicate

Take the initiative

And  the  other  person’s  style  is:  

If  your  style  is  Externalizing  

If  your  style  is  Internalizing  

When  Styles  Interact  

Page 14: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

Increase  Your  Communica6on  Competency  

1.   Know  your  communica)on  style  tendency,  know  your  preferences  

2.   Consider  the  style  of  others  3.   Clarify  your  goals:    To  influence  a  

decision?  To  understand?  To  build  consensus?      

4.   Analyze  the  situa)on  and  adapt  5.   Develop  stylis)c  flexibility  

1.  Iden6fy  low-­‐risk  situa6ons  in  which  to  develop  enhanced  skills.  

2.  Prac6ce  using  less  familiar  and  less  preferred  styles.  

3.  Select  a  role  model.      14  

Page 15: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

Communica)on,  Listening  Skills,  Nego)a)on,  etc.  

h8ps://ode.hr.gwu.edu/learn-­‐now  

LEARN  NOW  Guides    70%:  experiences    20%:  others    10%:  on  your  own  

Be deliberate

Page 16: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

Communica6on  Styles,  Pet  Peeves,  and  

why  it  doesn’t  ma/er  who  is  right  

Page 17: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

Pet  peeve  DEFINED  n.  a  con6nual  source  of  personal  annoyance  

   Synonyms  aggravate  -­‐  annoy  -­‐  complaint  -­‐    personal  vexa6on      

Page 18: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM
Page 19: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM
Page 20: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

Communica6on  Example  #1  

Page 21: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

Another  example…  

For  not  emailing  me  thank  you…  

Page 22: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM

What are your pet peeves?

Page 23: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM
Page 24: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM
Page 25: PetPeeves ,and hour communica… · pet peeves? Author: Sara Melita Created Date: 6/26/2014 8:35:46 AM