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Communica)on Styles, Pet Peeves, and
why it doesn’t ma/er who is right
What to Expect 2/3 = Communica8on Styles -‐ Inventory -‐ Explora6on
1/3 = “Pet Peeves” -‐ Defini6on & Examples -‐ Discovery
What makes communication challenging?
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Comple)ng the CSI
þ This inventory consists of 24 statements concerning your communica6on style. þ Read each statement and circle the number that best describes your behavior.
5 – Always 4 – Usually 3 – Some1mes 2 – Rarely 1 – Never
þ Complete the CSI. þ Be candid. þ The results are confiden6al and will be available to you only.
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Communica)on Style Inventory Scoring Instruc)ons
1. Circle the following ques6ons: 1, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 15, 18, 19, 20, and 23. Total your answers for the ques6ons circled and enter the total in the “Step 1 Total” box.
2. Total your scores for the other ques6ons 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 14, 16, 17, 21, 22, and 24. Enter that number in the “Step 2 Total” box.
3. Transfer the total to the boxes on the back of the inventory.
4. Add your Step 1 Total to 72, and subtract your Step 2 Total. The resul)ng number is your communica)on style score.
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Enter: Step 1 Total Add: 72 Subtotal Enter and subtract
Step 2 Total – CSI Score . . . . . . . . . . .
Scoring the CSI: An Example
43
+72
115
30
85
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The Communica)on Style Con)nuum
Internalizing Externalizing
Externalizing: A style that emphasizes sharing informa6on—opinions, thoughts, and feelings—with the thought that others want and need to know what you’re thinking.
Internalizing: A style that emphasizes analysis; withholding one’s opinions, thoughts, and feelings; and being a\en6ve to others’ opinions, thoughts, and feelings.
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The Communica)on Style Con)nuum
Internalizing Externalizing
Talka6ve Open Blunt
Outgoing Demanding Domina6ng Self-‐Centered
Direct Controlling Expressive
Overshadowing Impa6ent Uninhibited
72 24 120 Listening
Scarcely Verbal
Closed
Sensi6ve
Easily Withdrawn
Undemanding
Indirect
Controlled
Nonexpressive
Reserved
Pa6ent
Inhibited
68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76
55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67
77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84
85 86 87 88 89
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The Communica)on Style Con)nuum
Internalizing Externalizing 72 24 120
What do you see as poten6al advantages and disadvantages of
each style?
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► Ar6culate ► Direct ► Open ► Outgoing ► Able to take charge ► Influen6al
► Less aware of nonverbal cues
► Blas6ng ► Too quick to respond ► Verbally abusive ► Insensi6ve ► Too direc6ve
EXTERNALIZING:
LIABILITIES ASSETS
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► Sensi6ve ► Effec6ve listener ► More able to
compromise ► Likable ► Verbally sensi6ve ► Aware of nonverbal cues
► Avoiding ► Too slow to respond ► Unclear ► May be taken less seriously ► Overly sensi6ve ► Diminished impact
INTERNALIZING:
LIABILITIES ASSETS
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Externalizing Internalizing
Manage conflict Engage the person
Step up and communicate
Take the initiative
And the other person’s style is:
If your style is Externalizing
If your style is Internalizing
When Styles Interact
Increase Your Communica6on Competency
1. Know your communica)on style tendency, know your preferences
2. Consider the style of others 3. Clarify your goals: To influence a
decision? To understand? To build consensus?
4. Analyze the situa)on and adapt 5. Develop stylis)c flexibility
1. Iden6fy low-‐risk situa6ons in which to develop enhanced skills.
2. Prac6ce using less familiar and less preferred styles.
3. Select a role model. 14
Communica)on, Listening Skills, Nego)a)on, etc.
h8ps://ode.hr.gwu.edu/learn-‐now
LEARN NOW Guides 70%: experiences 20%: others 10%: on your own
Be deliberate
Communica6on Styles, Pet Peeves, and
why it doesn’t ma/er who is right
Pet peeve DEFINED n. a con6nual source of personal annoyance
Synonyms aggravate -‐ annoy -‐ complaint -‐ personal vexa6on
Communica6on Example #1
Another example…
For not emailing me thank you…
What are your pet peeves?
