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Overcoming Sexism and Becoming an Ally Personal Relfection Paper by Ryan Bennion
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Ryan Bennion November 10, 2012 Social Health and Diversity Tuesday 5:00 pm
Overcoming Sexism and Becoming An Ally Personal Reflection
Women have always had challenges in any society. I must admit I did not
understand the extent of those challenges which women face on a daily basis. In this
personal reflection I will discuss the stereotypes I have or at least knew others have
had about women, how I have been socialized and even ways I may have
discriminated against women. I will also examine how I have grown in my
understanding, the changes I have made and will make to become an ally to women
less fortunate than I and to all women around the globe because of my service at the
Young Women’s Christian Academy.
I truly am grateful for the influential women in my life that have taught me
about what being a woman means to them and what it means to be a man. Among
those women are my mother, my stepmother, some of my high school teachers and
women in my church. I wish I had the knowledge as a youth I now have concerning
the treatment of women. I have always wanted to be a good man; this is what the
above-‐mentioned women have taught me to be. What I didn’t realize is that my
attitude toward women in sports, and in the workplace has been discriminating. I
would often stereotype women in power as manly, undesirable and bitchy. I didn’t
realize that my attitude toward them might have been what caused that bitchiness.
My involvement in the classroom has helped me realize my misunderstanding
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toward women and given me a conscious knowledge on how to battle these errors
in society.
My experience at the Young Women’s Christian Academy (YWCA) has been
enlightening on the subject of women whom are objectified and discriminated
against. Recalling the beginning of the service assignment my group members, Kyle
Fletcher and Mike Tangaro, and I were shocked and a bit frustrated about how
difficult it was to find an organization that did not require an expensive background
check or a commitment of six months of service. I realized that the women and
children in most shelters have been victims of abuse and these particular women
need to be protected form their abusers until they can be independent and safe.
Kyle did a great job of finding the YWCA who was glad to have our help about a
month before the assignment was due.
First impressions are very important, so when we showed up I had a smile on
my face and a happy, helpful attitude. Despite my attitude, and the similar attitude
of my fellow students, I noticed the hesitancy of many people at the YWCA. Most of
the people there are women, except the male volunteer at the front desk. This man
taught us while we waited for our volunteer coordinator that the organization was
more than a gym, but it was a bruised and battered women’s shelter, which I didn’t
know when we started. As we went through the campus it was impossible not to
notice the camera’s everywhere and all the locked doors that required a magnetic
key for entry.
At first we were told to stay in a certain room where we organized donated
clothes for women and children. We were asked to stay there because to some of
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the refugees it may be unsettling to see men there, especially men who they do not
know. Again, I was somewhat disturbed by the total lockdown atmosphere. It was
disappointing that we didn’t get to interact with a lot of the women directly, but I
knew our work was important, even if it only began as folding and organizing
clothes.
Every Monday for three weeks, we gave two hours of our time to serve these
women and children who needed our help. As our service progressed, so did the
confidence and trust among the women and the residents at the YWCA. We began to
do more intensive labor and move around the campus with our coordinator, Yen,
directing us. By the final day, Yen gave us a key to use to gain entry to anywhere in
the facility and allowed us to do work without her supervision.
One experience stood out among the others at the YWCA in which we picked
up 3,114 white flags off of the nearby library’s lawn. Each flag represented a woman
who had been sheltered because of domestic abuse and violence in the past year.
For a moment it seemed as we grabbed each flag it was as if we were shaking the
hands of those women ourselves. It was a spiritual and emotional experience for
me; it was one of the moments that made me realize how important it is to stand up
for those who have less than I do. It reminded me of my mother and the lessons she
had taught me as a child about treating women with respect. To know at least 3,114
women in Utah did not receive the respect they deserve was sickening. As we were
finishing up, a library security guard approached me and asked me if I was
volunteering at the shelter, my reply was “yes”. This young man thanked me and
told me that he was raised in such a shelter and that his mother gained a better life
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because of it. He expressed his gratitude and stated he would follow my example
and volunteer at the shelter as well.
After speaking with the guard, I began asking more questions about the
shelter and learned what an amazing place it is. The YWCA provides full housing for
women who have left an abuser for up to two years. The YWCA helps them find jobs
and support their children in school and daycare. They provide life counseling and
financial counseling to teach these women how to live independently. These
services are of no cost to the women so they can be independent and not have to
return to the abuser who is often their only caretaker.
I have learned that being a man is more than opening doors and watching
your language around women. It is being an ally. Manhood is taking an active role
in the empowerment of women. Not overcompensating, but creating equal rights
and equal opportunities for women to advance in this world. After all, women are
our mothers, they are our sisters and daughters and it is our responsibility to
empower them to create the life they deserve. I have learned I can start by showing
women what it means to be a man. By openly discussing women’s issues and being
willing to stand on their side, I can help change this world and make it a better place
for both men and women to live.