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Personal Change Resistance & Resilience Kip Soteres, Soteres Consulting

Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

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Page 1: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

Personal Change Resistance & Resilience

Kip Soteres, Soteres Consulting

Page 2: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

About the Webinar

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HRCI & SHRM Pre-Approved

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In order to receive the HRCI* & SHRM** Credits:

• Must have signed in with your unique registration link

• Must attend the entirety of the webinar

• Must answer the applicable polls for HRCI credits

• An HRCI certificate with ID# will be sent to you upon completion of all of the above

• Make sure to add apbenefitadvisors.com to your whitelist/safe senders list to receive all follow-up emails

*The use of this seal confirms that this activity has met HR Certification Institute’s® (HRCI®) criteria forrecertification credit pre-approval.

**AP Benefit Advisors, LLC is recognized by SHRM to offer Professional Development Credits (PDCs) for SHRM-CPor SHRM-SCP. This program is valid for 1 PDC for the SHRM-CP or SHRM-SCP. For more information aboutcertification or recertification, please visit shrmcertification.org.

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• Recent clients include the BlueCross BlueShield Association, Comcast, ADP, Hearth Transitional Housing, & PNC Financial Services

• Gold Quill and Silver Anvil awards for communication excellence related to change

• Published and cited by Ragan Communications and the IABC’s Journal of Employee Communications Management

• Led dozens of workforce integration communication efforts across multiple industries –M&A, restructurings, orientations, onboarding, and more

Kip SoteresChange Communications Expert

Founder & PresidentSoteres Consulting

Since 2015

VP, Director & Manager Roles

Highmark Health PNC Bank

BlueCross BlueShield of TNCadence Design Systems

2001 to 2015

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Page 5: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

Agenda

Change and why it happens

Resilience and why it matters

6 ways to take control of change

Next steps

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Page 6: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

Why does disruptive change happen?

New people

Disruptive events

Changing circumstances/environments

Change for its own sake

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Page 7: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

Why do we react the way we do when introduced to change?

Which tree is better looking?

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Older is better?

Study 1: Students preferred the course requirement described as the status quo over a new version (regardless of whether the new version meant more or less coursework), and liked it even more when it had been around for 100 years rather than only 10 years.

Study 2: People who saw a painting described as having been painted in 1905 found it more pleasing to look at than people who saw the same painting described as created in 2005.

Study 3: People admired the appearance of a tree described as being 4,500 years old more than did those who thought the same tree just 500 years old.

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A pressure working against our efforts to accept and implement change is our preference for:

a. Natural objects

b. High standards

c. The status quo

d. Authoritarian leaders

Question 1

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Page 10: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

Change aversion is natural & unconscious

We like when things stay the same and we tend to trust older things over new. That’s not just one but really two big barriers to overcome.

Add to that our tendency for self-confirmation bias. We exaggerate the severity when new things hit minor snags and ignore long standing errors and efficiencies that we have grown accustomed to.

Without knowing it, most people are looking for reasons to substantiate their emotional bias against change. They remember things that confirm their bias and overlook those things the work against it.

Add to that our preference for things that are predictable and the sense that we are in control. Status quo situations encourage that sense of security and stability.

And yet…

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Big Change

Some gaps cannot be bridged with small steps

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Page 12: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

The change curve: how people react to change

Satisfaction

Resistance

Exploration

Hope

Commitment

Denial

I won’t do it. This doesn’t make sense.

I’ve heard of the change, but it

won’t apply to me.

This isn’t important to my work or the

organization.

I can see some results. This might work.

I’ll try. We’ll see what happens.

This is the way we do things around here.

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The following statement is true about the change resistance curve when applied to transformational change:

a. People resisting change is a good sign.

b. People never backslide on the curve.

c. Once people start to hope, the change is locked in.

d. The sign of a successful change effort is silence.

Question 2

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You evolve in one way, and suddenly what worked before does not apply

Going from one stage to another isn’t sometimes difficult…It’s always difficult

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So think of a story about a time you had to cope with a big change…

• What was it like before?

• What changed?

• How did you (or others) handle the change at first?

• What resistance did you observe (there’s a monster under my bed)?

• What happened next?

• Was the change successful?

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Page 16: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

Resistance tactics… There’s a monster under my bed

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Page 17: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

• Complaints, sometimes veiled (I’m hot)

• Questions, sometimes unanswerable… (Why is it bedtime?)

• Problems, sometimes manufactured –seeking gaps & inconsistencies (My tummy hurts… I’m scared… I can’t sleep…)

• Confusion, sometimes feigned (I didn’t know it was time for bed… where is my stuffed animal?)

The Hateful Eight… Behaviors you can expect

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• Assumptions that any change is worse & that feed rumors (You’re going to make me go to bed earlier & earlier!)

• Seeking confirmation from social networks (Jenny doesn’t go to bed at 8.)

• Hostility tactics – outrage, grand declarations (I’m not going to bed & you can’t make me! Why are you making us do this! Why are you doing this to us?)

• Stall tactics – the longer it takes the less likely it becomes (Read me one more story…)

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The Hateful Eight… Behaviors you can expect

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The following are always resistance tactics that people use when avoiding change:

a. Asking questions

b. Acting confused

c. Delaying action

d. All of the above

e. None of the above

Question 3

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Page 20: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

• Fault-finding – all these small mistakes prove that it won’t work

• Trust issues & creating artificial sides/loyalty – new versus old; you know what they are really up to, right? Look what they did to poor Steve/Sara…• Corporate is making us do this…• Corporate says we have to do it this way…

• Hostility tactics – Getting mad feels good in the moment, but there’s a consequence… It’s not fair, but I don’t care what other organizations are doing…

• Passive aggression – saying yes, but letting little things fall behind or fail, or reinforcing negative attitudes in others. • Let it play out, they’ll find out it won’t work because…• I’m totally behind the change (but I have a response for every specific

suggestion)

In the adult world – what do we see?

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Page 21: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

• Stall tactics – the passing of time is the enemy of change. I’ll wait for the boss’ boss to approve it before I do anything... I’m too busy to deal with this stuff right now… Look at all these little problems that we need to solve for before we can do anything…

• False defensiveness – the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like that.

• Too much focus on problems, analysis, feedback and criticism; not enough on momentum, solutions, positive reinforcement and team

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In the adult world – what do we see?

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Which item is most essential when attempting to introduce change effectively to large populations:

a. Chasing down answers to every question

b. Creating momentum and engaging emotions

c. Developing a comprehensive business case

d. Avoiding all mistakes and sticking to the plan

e. Setting big, inspirational, long-term goals to inspire

Question 4

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Page 23: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

Enough about resistance… What works for you when you are trying to change?

• Anyone here ever quit smoking?

• Ever get laid off?

• Ever picked up a new skill as an adult?

• Ever went back for more schooling or training as an adult?

• Lost significant weight?

• Others?

What initiated successful change? What sustained it?

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Page 24: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

How do you recharge your battery?

• Exercise

• Socialize

• Eat / Indulge

• Hobbies

• Humor

• Others?

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What do we know about resilience?

1) Acknowledge the pain of leaving the past behind and the pain of moving ahead.

2) Setbacks are natural and inevitable. They are not failure.

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Page 26: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

3) Focus on progress and positives, not setbacks and criticism.

4) Do.

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What do we know about resilience?

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5) Look out for strong social networks reinforcing bad morale.

6) Burn your bridges and commit to the change.

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What do we know about resilience?

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The best way to deal with early setbacks is to:

a. Critically analyze the problems and critique the actors

b. Focus on what’s working and progress made

c. Question the effort’s initial assumptions

d. Translate challenges into defined actions that are in your control

e. B and D

Question 5

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Page 29: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

What are you prepared to do?

• One activity to focus on to help put the past behind you:

• One short term goal to build momentum and help you focus on the things you can control:

• One message for your social network when they come to you seeking negative reinforcement:

• One thing to make time for to relieve stress when it starts to build up:

• One predictable setback and how I will respond to that minor failure:

• One positive memory to remind myself that I can succeed at change:

• One person to share this page with and support you in making a successful leap:

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Page 31: Personal Change Resistance & Resilience€¦ · • False defensiveness –the idea that anything new is an implicit criticism of what came before. We don’t have to take it like

Thank you!

Kip Soteres - 423.316.5255

[email protected]

www.soteresconsulting.com

Communicating change when change is hard.

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