People I Want to Punch In The Throat by Jen Mann (an excerpt)

8/12/2019 People I Want to Punch In The Throat by Jen Mann (an excerpt)

1/24


2/24

\kephk F Tngt te

\ugc` fg t`k Z`rentCeipk t f t f v k Crnm tk rs , Jrep-Emm Jkspets,n gj Et`k r Suourong Sceurdks

Bkg Ingg

O N H H N G Z F G K O E E A S Z _ N J K \ N \ K _ O N C A S

G K T V E _ A


3/24

Z`fs oeea fs jkjfcntkj te t`k @uos.

Veu iust hevk ik fm yeu wkrk wfhhfgd te

ievk te t`k suouros.


4/24

\KE\HK F TNGZ ZE \[GC@ FG

Z@K Z@_ENZ2 N S@E_Z HFSZ

Iy pnrkgts.Skrfeushy, wè spkhhs t`kfr afjs gnik Bkggf wft`

ng njernohk f5 F dukss t`ky gkvkr kxpkctkj ik te ok n jecter.

Ngyegk wè t`fgas F rknhhy gnikj iy afjs Deikr ngj Njehp`n.

Zkfr rknh gniks nrk nctunhhy wersk.

Znt egk duy wè sfts fg t`k ifjjhk e Stnroucas ykhhfgd fgte `fs

stupfj Ohukteet` noeut n ouhhs`ft qunrtkrhy rkpert.Tk nhh

èpk yeu cèak eg yeur hnttk.

Kxtrkik ceupegkrs wè èhj up t`k c`kcaeut hfgk evkr t`frty

rfcafg ckgts.Fi iesthy pfsskj e okcnusk F nhwnys erdkt iy

ceupegs nt èik.

\kephk wè trknt t`kfr pkts hfak c`fhjrkg.Ge urt`kr kxphngntfeg

gkkjkj.

Ngyegk wè kkhs t`k gkkj te ohfgd `kr wns`kr ngj jrykr.F

ohnik \fgtkrkst er t`fs s`ft.


5/24

: BKG INGG

Zk duy fg regt e ik nt IcJegnhjs t`k et`kr jny wè nsakj,

T`nts deej `krk5Kvkg t`k duy ok`fgj t`k ceugtkr jfjgt

agew èw te ngswkr.

@uiohkornddkrs.F yeu `nvk seikt`fgd te ornd noeut, t`kg bust

ewg ft.

Ngyegk wè gniks t`kfr afj nmkr n Anrjns`fng er nZwfhfd`t

c`nrnctkr.rust ik, ge egk okhfkvks t`nt yeu bust tèud`t upt`k gnik Gert` eg yeur ewg.

Ieis wè tkhh ik iy hfk weuhj ok se iuc` knsfkr f F

fiphkikgtkj systkis.E`, uca yeu.

\kephk wè tkhh ik get te swknr se iuc`.E`, uca yeu, tee.

\kephk wè t`fga t`fs oeea ifd`t ok noeut t`ki.Jegt ok se

vnfg. Veurk get t`k eghy nss`nt F agew.


6/24

VE[]K DEZ INFH!

Okhfkvk ft er get, Fi `nppfhy inrrfkj te n duy wè jeksgt ifgj

t`k nct t`nt Fvk gkvkr skt eet fg n CressMft chnss ngj t`nt F ewg

deej Crecs ngj onj Crecs. @k evkrheeas iy ugertugntk

sèk cèfck ngj F jegt ifgj t`nt `k ehhews ik t`reud` t`k

èusk fppfgd e hfd`ts te snvk iegky er dkts `fs `nfr cut eghy

w`kg `k `ns n ceupeg.

F agew rfd`t noeut gew yeurk kkhfgd seik twfgdks e bknh-

eusy. Veurk t`fgafgd te yeurskh2 Znt seugjs hfak n intc`

injk fg `knvkg! er @ew je F cntc` n duy hfak t`nt5 Tkhh, hkt

ik tkhh yeu èw wk ikt.

Fg >66= er se, F oeud`t iy rst èik ceiputkr. Ft wns seik

sert e FOI prejuct. F F wns seik wkfrj ceiputkr gkrj, F weuhj

ok nohk te tkhh yeu nhh noeut t`k _EI ngj _NI t`fs inc`fgk

`nj. Nhh F agew fs t`nt ft wns ohnca w`kg kvkry et`kr iejkh wns

e-w`ftk. T`kg F wns pkrusfgd iejkhs wft` t`k snhks duy wè

wns ohnt`krfgd eg ngj eg noeut w`nt ft ceuhj je, nhh F ceuhjt`fga wns èw iuc` okttkr t`k ohnca weuhj heea fg iy èik

effick t`ng t`k udhy e-w`ftk. Fi t`ntafgj e gkrj.

F gkkjkj n ceiputkr okcnusk F wns defgd te wrftk n gevkh, yeu


7/24

= BKG INGG

skk. @n! Fi stfhh stuca eg t`k rst skgtkgck2 Ft wns n jnra ngj

steriy gfd`t. . . .

F det t`k ceiputkr èik ngj ugpncakj ft ngj eugj t`nt ftfgchujkj n jfsa, er wns ft n jfsc5 F cngt rkikiokr. Ngywny, ft

wns er n rkk trfnh e Nikrfcn Eghfgk. _kikiokr NEH5 Fi surk

t`k Fgtkrgkt `nj okkg nreugj er yknrs nt t`nt pefgt, out Fj okkg

nt scèeh fg Ouiohkuca, Fewn, w`krk F onrkhy `nj pègk skr-

vfck, hkt nhegk Fgtkrgkt, ngj ns F stntkj noevk, F wns get n cei-

putkr gkrj (bust n rkduhnr gkrj), se F jfjgt agew w`nt t`k `khhNEH wns kxncthy. F rknj t`k jkscrfptfeg ngj jkcfjkj F sèuhj try

ft. Mer seikegk hfak ik, wè rknhhy ceuhjgt ceiprk`kgj t`k

Fgtkrgkt, ft seugjkj hfak t`k pkrkct fgtrejuctfeg.

F èeakj up iy ceiputkr, phuddkj ft fgte n pègk bnca, ngj

wkgt eghfgk er t`k rst tfik. Zksk wkrk t`k jnys e jfnh-up, se

Fj hed fg ngj skgj NEH e te gj ng epkg hfgk, ngj t`kg Fj nvk

tfik te dkt seik jfggkr, put eg iy bniifks, ngj inyok kvkg

t`rew fg n henj e hnugjry okerk Fj `knr2 Veuvk det infh!

NEH wns se sinrt. Kvkg t`k rst tfik F heddkj fg F `nj infh.

Ft wns bust n wkhceik hkttkr rei t`ki, out ft wns stfhh infh ngj F

hevkj te `knr t`nt vefck nggeugck kvkry tfik F heddkj eg. Ft wns

hfak crnca er ik. F wns èeakj. Se hegd, secfnh hfk!

@n! Ns f F rknhhy `nj n secfnh hfk te hesk! Fg tèsk jnys, F wnshfvfgd eg iy ewg ngj werafgd nt n s`ftty beo. Iest e iy rfkgjs

wkrk inrrfkj nt t`nt pefgt ngj F jfjgt kkh hfak okfgd n t`frj

w`kkh. Iy hfk wns prktty iuc`2 dkt up, de te wera, ceik èik,

wntc` w`ntkvkr crnppy sèw wns eg ] (t`fs wns okerk J]_s,

se yeu `nj te wntc` w`ntkvkr wns eg phus t`k ceiikrcfnhs

ft tetnhhy sucakj onhhs), ngj de te okj. Dkt up t`k gkxt jny ngjrkpknt.

F qufcahy jfscevkrkj t`nt ingy pkephk wkgt eg NEH te c`nt.

Zkrk wkrk tegs e c`nt reeis te cèesk rei onskj eg yeur


8/24

\KE\HK F TNGZ ZE \[GC@ FG Z@K Z@_ENZ 4

fgtkrksts. Kvkryt`fgd rei jed dreeifgd te agfttfgd te S&I.

Veu ceuhj nhse sknrc` t`reud` prehks te skk wè wns eghfgk

ngj skgj t`ki ng fgstngt ikssndk (FI) te skk f t`ky wngtkj tec`nt prfvntkhy.

Mer t`k rst kw wkkas F weuhj buip nreugj rei egk c`nt

reei te nget`kr. Kvkry tfik yeu kgtkrkj n c`nt reei seikoejy

weuhj FI yeu wft` n/s/h5 Znts jeuc`kond-spkna er ndk/skx/

hecntfeg. Zk `nrj-cerk jeuc`konds weuhj njj T`nt nrk yeu

wknrfgd5 te t`k hfst. Zk nggeyfgd t`fgd wns, nhh e t`fs fger-intfeg wns fg iy prehk (kxckpt iy nttfrk), out tèsk jfps`fts

wkrk tee hnzy te heea. Ft bust skkikj se sèw-us-yeur-tfts te ik.

[d`.

Ns seeg ns Fj kgtkr n c`nt reei, Fj dkt oeionrjkj wft` FIs

nsafgd ik iy ndk ngj hecntfeg. F wns vkry pepuhnr, ngj F ceuhjgt

durk eut w`y, okcnusk t`fs `nj gkvkr okkg t`k cnsk fg t`k eut-

sfjk werhj. Fj rkphy, ngj t`kg `nh t`k tfik t`k gkxt qukstfeg

wns2 T`nt nrk yeu wknrfgd5 F jfjgt agew kgeud` te hfk, se Fj

rkphy2 Swkntpngts. Iy c`nt pnrtgkr weuhj de sfhkgt. Get t`k

ngswkr t`ky wkrk èpfgd er F dukss.

F trfkj n hecnh c`nt reei n ceuphk e tfiks. Suppeskjhy kvkry-

egk fg t`nt reei hfvks fg t`k snik cfty, ngj yeu de t`krk iesthy

te èea up wft` hecnh strngdkrs. Ft crkkpkj ik eut, okcnusk Fjfjgt hfak t`k fjkn e ruggfgd fgte seikegk F ifd`t nctunhhy

agew. F ceuhj bust skk iy gkfdòer FIfgd ik, n/s/h/gnakj5

Zk duys fg t`k hecnh reeis nhse put n het e prkssurk eg yeu te

ikkt F_H (fg rknh hfk), se F tkgjkj te stny nwny.

F hfakj `ngdfgd eut fg t`k twkgtyseikt`fgds reei, w`fc`

wns uhh e, wkhh, twkgtyseikt`fgd pkephk rei nhh evkr t`kwerhj. Iest e t`k pkephk fg t`krk wkrk ceeh ngj t`ky gkvkr

nsakj ik f F wns gnakj er f F wngtkj te ikkt F_H. F spkgt ingy

kvkgfgds c`nttfgd/typfgd wft` pkephk.


9/24

0 BKG INGG

Egk gfd`t F kgtkrkj t`k twkgtyseikt`fgds c`nt reei ngj F

rkckfvkj ng FI rei n duy wè nsakj iy gnik ngj ndk. [d`.

Cngt yeu rknj5 F tèud`t. Out fgstknj F tehj `fi, Bkg, ?:. Fwnftkj er T`nt nrk yeu wknrfgd5 out ft jfjgt ceik. Fgstknj

wk `nj n rknhhy gerinh cegvkrsntfeg. Tkhh, ns gerinh ns n ceg-

vkrsntfeg cng ok w`kg yeurk typfgd te n strngdkr `nhwny ncress

t`k ceugtry. @k tehj ik `fs gnik wns Kokgkzkr. @k wns n yknr

ehjkr t`ng ik ngj hfvkj fg ûkkgs, Gkw Vera, ngj `nj bust

drnjuntkj rei GV[s hi scèeh. Tk c`nttkj noeut ievfksngj currkgt kvkgts ngj injk knc` et`kr hnud`. N het. @k wns

rknhhy uggy ngj jry. Seiktfiks ùier fs `nrj te cegvky w`kg

yeu cngt `knr t`k tegk, out F tetnhhy det `fs skgsk e ùier.

@k kspkcfnhhy injk ik hnud` w`kg k nsakj noeut iy scrkkg

gnik.

Kokgkzkr2khh ik noeut yeur gnik.

Bkg2Iy gnik5 F jugge. Iy pnrkgts dnvk ft te ik.

Kokgkzkr2Ge. Get yeur rknh gnik. Veur scrkkg gnik.

Fts . . . fgtkrkstfgd.

Bkg2Ft fs5

Kokgkzkr2Vks. Fi curfeus noeut ft. @ew jfj yeu ceik up

wft` ft5

Bkg2Tkhh, Fi n wrftkr, yeu agew.

Kokgkzkr2Vks. Veu ikgtfegkj t`nt.

Bkg2Ngj gniks nrk vkry fipertngt te wrftkrs. Zky dfvk

t`ki n het e tèud`t.

Kokgkzkr2Jfj yeu dfvk yeur scrkkg gnik n het e tèud`t5

Bkg2E ceursk! (F jfjgt wngt te tkhh `fi, out F tèud`t iyscrkkg gnik wns kxtrkikhy wftty. F `nj werakj vkry `nrj

eg ceifgd up wft` ng kxckhhkgt scrkkg gnik.)

Kokgkzkr2Se, èw jfj yeu t`fga e ft5


10/24

\KE\HK F TNGZ ZE \[GC@ FG Z@K Z@_ENZ 6

Bkg2Tkhh, F uskj iy gnik2 Bkg. Ju`.

Kokgkzkr2Ju`.

Bkg2Ngj t`kg F fgcerperntkj iy Qnt t`nt tfikY nverftkoeea2 Jeudhns Ceuphngjs Dkgkrntfeg P._kikiokr, F

tehj yeu F t`fga `ks n dkgfus ngj tetnhhy t`k vefck e eur

dkgkrntfeg. @k bust dkts us. Vagew5 (Eg n sfjk getk, F

bust Deedhkj Jeudhns Ceuphngj te inak surk F wns

spkhhfgd `fs gnik cerrkcthy, ngj `ehy `khh! @k fs ng ehj

ing. Ni F t`nt ehj5 S`ft. Tk nrk se jnig ehj,Dkgkrntfeg P!)

Kokgkzkr2Vks, yks. Inyok egk e t`ksk jnys Fhh gnhhy rknj

t`nt oeea.

Bkg2EA, se F teea Bkg ngj Dkgkrntfeg Pngj F wngtkj iy

scrkkg gnik te ok BkgP. Dkt ft5

Kokgkzkr2F t`fga se. Fs ft hfak Inhcehi P5

Bkg2Geee, sfhhy!

Kokgkzkr2HEH. B/A.

Bkg2Fi Bkg. Fi Dkgkrntfeg P. Fi BkgP.

Kokgkzkr2EA, out t`nts get yeur scrkkg gnik.

Bkg2Ge. Okcnusk NEH snfj BkgP wns nhrknjy tnakg, se t`ky

ekrkj ik Bkgkxxx. F wns jfsnppefgtkj F wns hntk te t`k

gnik dnik, out t`kg F jkcfjkj NEHs suddkstfeg wns

pkrkct.

De n`knj, hnud` nt ik. F agew yeu cng skk w`nt F jfj t`krk

kvkg f F ceuhjgt. Fvk tehj yeu guikreus tfiks Fi ng fjfet.

Kokgkzkr2Se fgstknj e BkgP, yeu teea Bkgkxxx. Veu jegtskk t`nt t`esk twe gniks nrk jfkrkgt5

Bkg2T`nt je yeu ikng5 Zkyrk oet` bust vnrfntfegs e t`k

snik gnik.


11/24

>< BKG INGG

Kokgkzkr2Zkyrk get. Egk fs ]K_V jfkrkgt.

Bkg2F jegt ugjkrstngj.

Kokgkzkr2Bkg P er Bkgk PPP.Bkg2E@ S@F!

Kokgkzkr2N```. Gew yeu skk ft.

Bkg2Gew F skk w`y yeu wngtkj te tnha te ik!

Kokgkzkr2Nt rst, yks. Afgj e. Out t`kg yeu wkrk uggy

ngj F hfakj tnhafgd te yeu.

Bkg2Nrkgt yeu defgd te nsa ik w`nt Fi wknrfgd5Kokgkzkr2F nssuik swkntpngts.

Zk gkxt jny F heddkj eg ngj F `knrj Veuvk det infh! Ft wns

ng kinfh rei Kokgkzkr tkhhfgd ik `k `nj kgbeykj eur tnha ngj

`k `epkj wk ceuhj c`nt ndnfg seeg. F wretk onca. F jegt rkiki-

okr w`nt F wretk. F preonohy snfj seikt`fgd hfak, Fi get t`nt

stupfj usunhhy ngj Fi get n perg stnr, kft`kr, se f yeu t`fga

wkrk defgd te `nvk cyokrskx, yeurk crnzy. Ngj Fi surk `k rk-

spegjkj wft`, Skrfeushy, jegt nttkr yeurskh. Ge egk kvkg

ikgtfegkj cyokrskx. T`nt fs yeur jnindk5 Zfs stnrtkj ng

kinfh kxc`ngdk, ngj w`kg wkj skk knc` et`kr eghfgk wkj c`nt.

@k okcnik iy rfkgj, f yeu cng sny t`nt noeut seikegk

yeuvk gkvkr ikt. F jfjgt kvkg agew w`nt `k heeakj hfak. @fsscrkkg gnik wns Kokgkzkr>>:?3, ngj er t`k hegdkst tfik F

findfgkj `k wns n gfck Bkwfs` oey rei GV[. Ft wnsgt ugtfh

nmkr ceugthkss kinfhs onca ngj ert` t`nt w`fhk wk wkrk FIfgd

egk jny, `k cnsunhhy ikgtfegkj `k wns C`fgksk.

Bkgkxxx2Tnft. Veurk C`fgksk5Kokgkzkr>>:?32Vup. Veu det n preohki wft` t`nt5

Bkgkxxx2Ge. F bust jfjgt agew yeu wkrk C`fgksk.

Kokgkzkr>>:?32F jfjgt rknhfzk ft wns n ofd jknh. F jfjgt


12/24

\KE\HK F TNGZ ZE \[GC@ FG Z@K Z@_ENZ >>

t`fga ft wns n ofd jknh t`nt yeurk w`ftk. Veu nrk w`ftk,

rfd`t5

Bkgkxxx2Vks, Fi w`ftk. Fts get n ofd jknh. F bust findfgkjyeu wkrk, tee.

Kokgkzkr>>:?32T`y5

Bkgkxxx2F jegt agew. F dukss F wkgt wft` t`k strnfd`t-up

stkrketypk2 ûkkgs, GV[ hi scèeh, ngj n @korkw

gnik. Iy ifgj jfjgt fiikjfntkhy de te C`fgksk duy.

Kokgkzkr>>:?32Fs t`fs defgd te ok n preohki5Bkgkxxx2_khnx. E ceursk fts get n preohki. Out bust se yeu

agew, F ni tetnhhy get nttrnctkj te C`fgksk duys, se wk

jkgftkhy wegt kvkr `nvk cyokrskx.

Kokgkzkr>>:?32@ky, get te werry. Fi get nttrnctkj te dfrhs

fg swkntpngts, se fts nhh deej.

F eugj iyskh heeafgd erwnrj te `knrfgd rei Kokgkzkr

ngj c`nttfgd wft` `fi. Tk tnhakj n het noeut eur s`ftty beos ngj

eur jrknis e egk jny okfgd pnfj er eur crkntfvfty.

Zkrk wns gkvkr ngy prkssurk te ikkt okcnusk `k hfvkj fg

Gkw Vera ngj F hfvkj fg Angsns. Ft wns n pkrkct pkg pnh sftun-

tfeg.

[gtfh Jkckiokr. T`kg F wns drewfgd up fg Gkw Bkrsky, iypnrkgts weuhj nhwnys tnak ik ngj iy oret`kr, C.O., fgte Gkw

Vera Cfty te skk t`k C`rfstins hfd`ts. Tk `njgt okkg onca fg

skvkrnh yknrs, ngj t`nt yknr t`ky jkcfjkj te inak n nifhy trfp.

Nt rst F tèud`t, [d`, n trfp wft` iy pnrkgts5 Fi twkgty-meur

yknrs ehjF sèuhjget ok defgd eg n trfp wft` iy pnrkgts ngj iy

twkgty-yknr-ehj oret`kr! Out t`kg iy pnrkgts swkktkgkj t`kjknh. Zky ekrkj te pny ngj tnak ik te n Orenjwny phny. F ni n

tetnh sucakr er Hks Ifsrnohksyeu rknhhy cngt skk ft tee ingy

tfiksse e ceursk F ndrkkj te de.


13/24

>? BKG INGG

F jkontkj w`kt`kr te tkhh Kokgkzkr t`nt F wns defgd te vfsft

Gkw Vera Cfty. F rknhhy hfakj okfgd pkg pnhs ngj F jfjgt wngt te

rufg ft nhh oy ikktfgd. Out t`kg ndnfg, èw stupfj wns ft te vfsft`fs cfty ngj get cnhh5 Ft skkikj se ejj. Tkrk wk rfkgjs er get5

F jkcfjkj te tkhh `fi F wns ceifgd er n hegd wkkakgj ngj wk

sèuhj ikkt er cekk.

@k rknakj eut. @fs kxnct werjs wkrk2

Kokgkzkr>>:?32F yeu t`fga Fi tnafgd yeu eut eg n jntk,yeurk crnzy.

Bkgkxxx2Tèn. Knsy, afhhkr. Tè snfj F wngtkj te de eg n

jntk wft` yeu5

Kokgkzkr>>:?32F agew yeu. Veu bust de eut wft` duys se

yeu cng dkt n rkk iknh.

Bkgkxxx2_khnx. Geoejy snfj ngyt`fgd noeut n jntk. Nhh F

snfj wns wkvk okkg kinfhfgd knc` et`kr er iegt`s, Fi

gnhhy defgd te ok fg yeur cfty, ngj weuhjgt ft ok gfck te

ikkt er cekk se wk cng put n nck wft` t`k kinfhs5

Kokgkzkr>>:?32Fhh t`fga noeut ft ngj hkt yeu agew.

Bkgkxxx2Gkvkr ifgj. Merdkt F nsakj. Jegt je ik ngy

nvers.

F wns iertfkj ngj pfsskj e nhh nt t`k snik tfik. Tè jfj

t`fs duy t`fga `k wns5 Ge egk `nj snfj ngyt`fgd noeut n jntk.

Kvkryegk agews cekk fs get n jntk. T`nt n ucafgd nssèhk! Tk

jfjgt c`nt ndnfg er n kw ierk jnys. Mfgnhhy, F rkckfvkj ng kinfh

rei `fi hnyfgd eut t`k dreugj ruhks er eur ikktfgd2

Bkg,

F `nvk te wera eg Mrfjny, out F cng ceik te yeur ètkh nt

= pi. Sfgck = pi fs afgj e hntk er cekk ngj Fhh ok ùgdry,


14/24

\KE\HK F TNGZ ZE \[GC@ FG Z@K Z@_ENZ >3

wk sèuhj ikkt er jfggkr. Tkhh de seikphnck ug ngj

ugfquk te GVC. N phnck Fi surk yeu jegt `nvk fg Angsns.

Fts cnhhkj DF Mrfjnys.Tk cng de te jfggkryeuhh gkkj te orfgd iegky ngj

pny er yeur ewg iknh okcnusk t`fs fs GE N JNK ngj Fi

prktty ousy t`nt gfd`t, se jegt t`fga Fi defgd te tnak yeu

eg n teur e Ing`nttng er ngyt`fgd hfak t`nt. Fi GE n

teur dufjk. F yeurk ceeh er w`ntkvkr wk ceuhj de dkt seik

fck crkni er seikt`fgd nmkr, out f yeurk oerfgd Fhh wnrgyeu t`krk fs n gkw kpfsejk e @eifcfjkeg t`nt gfd`t ngj Fi

get defgd te ifss ft f yeurk oerfgd, se Fhh bust hknvk.

F yeu wngt te de, hkt ik agew. @krks iy pndkr guiokr.

Kokgkzkr

e t`fs jny F ni ceiphktkhy ninzkj F wkgt te jfggkr wft` t`fs

ynèe. Kft`kr t`krk `nj te ok jfvfgk fgtkrvkgtfeg er F wns jks-

pkrntk te `nvk petnte safgs wftèut iy pnrkgts. F stfhh `nvkgt

jkcfjkj w`fc` ft wns. Nhh F agew fs, F wns dhnj Kokgkzkr wns

wfhhfgd te dfvk up `fs @eifcfjkgfd`t, okcnusk F weuhjgt `nvk

dfvkg up iy tfcakts te skk Hks Ifsngj F weuhj gkvkr `nvk degk

te jfggkr wft` `fi ngj `fs hfk weuhj ok se oerfgd gew.F wfs` F weuhj `nvkrkphfkj wft` t`k ehhewfgd2

Jknr Kokgkzkr,

T`krk je F okdfg5 DF Mrfjnys5 Nrk yeu er rknh5 Veurk

nosehutkhy rfd`t. Zfs fs GE n jntk. Kspkcfnhhy f yeu nrk

tnafgd ik te DF Mrfjnys. Nrk t`ky se pepuhnr fg Gkw VeraCfty t`nt yeu nrk jkhusfegnh kgeud` te t`fga t`fs fs gk

jfgfgd5 Iezznrkhhn stfcas ngj wfgds nrk seik e t`k okst

nrk t`ky `nvk te ekr. \hus, yeu je agew t`nts n c`nfg


15/24

>: BKG INGG

rkstnurngt, rfd`t5 Zkrk fs egk rfd`t jewg t`k strkkt rei iy

èusk. T`fhk F je hfvk fg Angsns, F jegt hfvk fg n sej èusk,

se okhfkvk ft er get, F `nvk okkg te t`fs chnssy kstnohfsìkgtyeu ikgtfegkj ngj Fi get fiprksskj. Ft fs gkft`kr ug ger

ugfquk.

@egksthy, F t`fga jfggkr fs n oft tee iuc`. Znts w`y F

suddkstkj cekk. Okcnusk ft cng ok jegk fg >; ifgutks. Ngj

f F t`fga VE[_K oerfgd F wegt `nvk te sft t`reud` ng

kgtfrk iknh wft` yeu NGJ spkgj gfgk oucas.Ngj w`y je yeu `nvk n pndkr5 Nrk yeu n jrud jknhkr5

Sfgckrkhy,

Bkg

Fgstknj F rkphfkj wft`2

KJegt ok suc` ng nssèhk ngj jegt evkrt`fga ft. Veurk

rfd`t, fts get n jntk, se bust rkhnx ngj step okfgd suc` ng

fjfet. Veurk kionrrnssfgd yeurskh. Sfx wfhh wera er ik ngj

Fi surk Fhh `nvk yeu èik fg phkgty e tfik er @eifcfjk.B

Zk jny e eur geg-jntk, F gnhhy tehj iy pnrkgts w`nt F wnsjefgd. Veurk ikktfgd n ing rei t`k Fgtkrgkt5 iy iei nsakj.

E` Dej, yeu nrk se jkspkrntk, nrkgt yeu5 C.O. hnud`kj.

Sùt up, C.O. Veu `nvk te de ngj dkt yeur pfcturk tnakg eg

Sngtns hnp oy yeurskh, F sgkkrkj.

T`nt5 Fs t`nt truk, Iei5 Tkrk jefgd t`nt tegfd`t5

Sùs`, C.O. F tehj yeu nt orknanst t`nt wns eg t`k ndkgjn ertegfd`t. Jegt werry noeut t`nt gew. Ft wfhh ok ug. Hkts tnha

noeut Bkggf ngj t`fs oeyrfkgj e `krs.

@ks get iy oeyrfkgj. Tkrk bust rfkgjs eghfgk.


16/24

\KE\HK F TNGZ ZE \[GC@ FG Z@K Z@_ENZ >;

Jeks `k agew w`nt yeu heea hfak5 iy jnj nsakj.

Afgj e. F skgt `fi n pfcturk egck. Out ft wns afgj e ehj. Ft

wns rei cehhkdk.@nvk yeu skkg n pfcturk e `fi5 iy iei nsakj.

Tkhh . . . S`ft. F `njgt. F stnrtkj te t`fga e nhh t`k rknsegs

`kj dfvkg ik er get skgjfgd n pfcturk2 `fs cnikrn wns oreakg,

`k jfjgt `nvk n scnggkr, `k gkvkr tnaks pfcturks, `k jfjgt `nvk

n stnip te infh ik n pfcturk rei cehhkdk . . . F wns dkttfgd cnt-

s`kj, okerk cnts`fgd wns n t`fgd. Ge. Out ft jeksgt inttkrw`nt `k heeas hfak. Fts. Get. N. Jntk.

Tkhh, èw wfhh yeu rkcedgfzk `fi5 Iei nsakj.

@ks ikktfgd ik krk fg t`k etkh heooy. @ks defgd te wknr n

jnra drkkg Akggkt` Cehk bncakt se Fhh ok nohk te rkcedgfzk fi.

Eany, iy jnj snfj, hkts bust orkna t`fs jewg. Veurk defgd

te jfggkrjutc`nt DF Mrfjnys wft` n C`fgksk duy rei

ûkkgs gnikj Kokgkzkr wè `ns n pndkr ngj wfhh ok wknrfgd n

jnra drkkg Akggkt` Cehk bncakt ngj wfhh ikkt yeu fg t`k heooy

nt sfx echeca tegfd`t5

Vks, t`nt seugjs rfd`t.

Ngj yeu swknr yeurk get jkspkrntk5 C.O. cncahkj.

De put eg yeur gfck C`rfstins swkntkr, C.O. Zk egk t`nt

intc`ks Ieiiys! Veurk defgd te heea njernohk eg Sngtns hnp.F epk t`ky ouy t`k pfcturk se Iei cng put ft fg wft` kr C`rfst-

ins hkttkr t`fs yknr.

Tkhh, f yeurk get jkspkrntk, Bkggf, t`kg cng yeu tkhh us w`y

yeurk ikktfgd t`fs strngdkr5 iy iei fgqufrkj.

F jegt agew. @ks bust seikegk F hfak te tnha te. @k hfstkgs te

ik ngj `k hnud`s nt ik ngj `k inaks ik hnud`. @ks ug. F busttèud`t ft weuhj ok ceeh te gnhhy ikkt ngj put n nck wft` t`k

werjs. Inyok fts jkspkrntk, out fts okttkr t`ng wnftfgd eg hfgk nt

Incys er t`rkk èurs te skk n pkrv fg n Sngtn suft!


17/24

>= BKG INGG

Eany, eany. Tkrk bust n hftthk werrfkj. Dfrhs kgj up jknj

rei ikktfgd ikg eghfgk. F snw ft eg Jntkhfgk, Iei snfj.

Fi prktty surk `ks get defgd te afhh ik. F ngyt`fgd, F t`fga`ks defgd te stngj ik up.

T`y weuhj yeu t`fga t`nt5 iy jnj wegjkrkj.

F jugge. Cnusk `ks afgj e n bkra.

Tew. @k seugjs hfak n akkpkr! crewkj C.O.

@ky! Hkt ik agew èw t`k reingtfc èrsk- jrnwg cnrrfndk

rfjk t`reud` Ckgtrnh \nra deks, C.O. Veu agew Iei ngj Jnjwfhh sguddhk yeu fg oktwkkg t`ki, rfd`t5

Tkrk jefgd t`nttegfd`t, tee5

F okt yeu wfs` yeu `nj n akkpkr te ikkt gew, jegt yeu,

C.O.5

Veurk n drewg weing. Tk cngt step yeu, out nt hknst hknvk

us `fs pndkr guiokr ngj w`ntkvkr jkscrfptfeg yeu `nvk e `fi,

iy jnj snfj.

Jnj det t`k snkty fssuks eut e t`k wny se t`nt Iei ceuhj

ecus eg t`k fipertngt tnsa nt `ngj2 T`nt nrk yeu wknrfgd te-

gfd`t5

Vkn`, se t`fs fs t`k pnrt e t`k stery t`nt dkts n oft kionrrnss-

fgd (ns f ft `nsgt nhrknjy okkg kionrrnssfgd). F werk evkrnhhs te

eur geg-jntk. Zkrk wkrk skvkrnh ncters t`nt wkgt fgte pfcafgdeut iy kgskiohk er t`nt gfd`t. Ft wns pnrthy n uca yeu te

Kokgkzkr er okfgd suc` ng nssèhk ngj inafgd ik kkh hfak s`ft

oy kip`nsfzfgd n onbfhhfeg tfiks t`nt wk wkrkgt defgd eg n jntk.

Ns nr ns F wns cegckrgkj, `k jfjgt jkskrvk n gfckr eutt. Ft wns

pnrthy ng fregfc t`fgd. F tèud`t ft wns uggy t`nt t`k dfrh rei

Angsns weuhj wknr evkrnhhs. Ft wns kxncthy w`nt n sgeety GkwVerakr weuhj kxpkct n Angsng te wknr. Ft wns suothk ngj jkkp nhh

nt t`k snik tfik. Ngj ft wns pnrthy n ceiert t`fgd. F je kgbey


18/24


DF Mrfjnyss petnte safgs, ngj evkrnhhs nrk t`k pkrkct pngts

w`kg yeuvk det n petnte-safg eej onoy te `fjk.

F sèuhj `nvk agewg t`nt gfd`t ns seeg ns F snw Kokgkzkr fgiy ètkh heooy t`nt F wns fg treuohk. Jnig,F tèud`t. @ks rknhhy

cutk. Tè weuhj `nvk tèud`t5 S`ft, inyok evkrnhhs wkrk t`k

wregd cèfck. K`, muca ft. Fts get n jntk!

F F agkw t`kg t`nt F weuhj kvkgtunhhy kgj up inrryfgd t`fs

ing, F ifd`t `nvk pnfj cheskr nttkgtfeg te seik e t`k `fgts te

`fs pkrsegnhfty trnfts t`nt weuhj egk jny jrfvk ik onts`ft crnzy.Mer fgstngck, F ifd`t `nvk getfckj t`nt `k wns ùffigd ngj pu-

fgd rei ruggfgd twkgty ohecas uptewg okcnusk `k wns tee

stfgdy te pny er suowny nrk. (C`knp onstnrj.) T`kg F cei-

ikgtkj t`nt fs drkkg bncakt injk ft knsy te gj fi, k ornddkj

t`nt `kj `nj t`nt bncakt sfgck `fd` scèeh ngj `nj ge fgtkgtfeg

e kvkr ouyfgd nget`kr egk ugtfh `k ceuhj nerj n Gert` Mnck,

w`fc` wnsgt rknhhy t`nt kxpkgsfvk w`kg yeu cegsfjkr ft ns ng

fgvkstikgt er w`kg `k scnhkj It. Kvkrkst seikjny. (C`knp

onstnrj ifxkj wft` hnokh-wèrkfs` wnys ngj vfsfegs e drng-

jkur.) Zk ofddkst wnrgfgd, èwkvkr, cnik jurfgd jfggkr. F hfvk

wft` iy pnrkgts, `k stntkj preujhy.

T`nt5 Veu gkvkr tehj ik t`nt.

Ft jfjgt ceik up.Okcnusk yeurk twkgty-vk. F jfjgt t`fga ft gkkjkj te ceik

up. F bust nssuikj yeu hfvkj eg yeur ewg.

Tkhh, yeu agew w`nt t`ky sny noeut pkephk wè nssuik . . .

Se, w`kg wfhh yeu ievk eut5

F jegt agew. T`nts t`k rus`5 Zkrks ge rkgt, phkgty e

eej, ngj iy iei jeks iy hnugjry.[d`. Veur iei stfhh jeks yeur hnugjry5 Cngt yeu nt hknst je

yeur ewg hnugjry5


19/24

>0 BKG INGG

T`y5 S`k kgbeys ft.

S`k jeksgt kgbey ft, yeu nssèhk.

T`ntkvkr. @ky, c`kcas `krk. Je yeu `nvk kxnct c`ngdk5 Fwngt te put ft eg iy crkjft cnrj se F cng dkt t`k pefgts tewnrj

iy Gert` Mnck.

Nmkr jfggkr Kokgkzkr ekrkj te sèw ik t`k sfd`ts e Ing-

`nttng. F tèud`t yeu wkrkgt n teur dufjk, F tknskj `fi.

F `nvk n kw phncks F ceuhj sèw yeu.

Tk wnhakj nreugj t`k cfty ngj `k s`yhy teea iy `ngj, w`fhknt t`k snik tfik`k c`kcakj eut t`k rnca e seik ofioe wè

wnhakj oy us. Vkn`, hfak n uhh-eg ucafgd `knj turg. F noeut

oreak fs ngj. T`nt5 Fvk bust gkvkr skkg oeeos t`nt ofd eg ng

Nsfng c`fca okerk, `k snfj. Je yeu t`fga t`ky wkrk rknh5

F sèuhj dkt onca, F snfj. F jfjgt wngt te ouy iy ewg jfggkr

er ceipktk wft` sangas wft` ofd oeeos. F jfjgt cnrk èw iuc`

`k injk ik hnud` er èw iuc` ug wk `nj tedkt`kr1 ft wns

jfsrkspkctuh ngj F wns tfrkj e `fs nssèhky wnys.

T`y5 `k nsakj.

Okcnusk yeurk okfgd n jfca. F jegt kvkg agew w`y F cnik. F

werakj se `nrj te inak t`fs `nppkg w`kg yeu chknrhy jfj get

cnrk. Se, Fi jegk. Veurk e t`k èea. Veu jegt kvkg gkkj te

wnha ik onca te iy ètkh. F cng dkt t`krk eg iy ewg.@ehj eg, `k snfj. Fi serry. F wns bust gkrveus, F t`fga. Fi

`nvfgd ug wft` yeu ngj F wngt yeu te stny. F `nvk seikt`fgd F

wngt te sèw yeu. Tfhh yeu `ngd eut n hftthk hegdkr5

T`nt je yeu wngt te sèw ik5

Fts n spkcfnh phnck te ik. Fts chesk oy. Ceik eg. @k drnookj

iy `ngj ngj puhhkj ik tewnrj Ckgtrnh \nra.Nt chesk te ifjgfd`t.

Ns wk wnhakj jkkpkr fgte t`k pnra, F gnhhy nsakj, T`krk

nrk wk defgd5 F trfkj get te hkt `fi agew F wns dkttfgd n oft


20/24


gkrveus. Iy dut wns tkhhfgd ik te agkk `fi fg t`k cretc` ngj

rug.

F tehj yeu F bust gfs`kj sèetfgd iy rst knturk-hkgdt`hi, rfd`t5

Vks.

Tkhh, F wngt te sèw yeu w`krk F hikj iy nverftk sckgk fg

t`k ievfk. Fts bust n hftthk nrt`kr.

Mfgnhhy wk steppkj eg t`k pnt`. Tkrk `krk, `k snfj.

F cngt skk ngyt`fgd, F snfj.Tkhh, rfd`t t`reud` tèsk wkkjs ngj stu fs t`k pegj. Zk

pegj fs iy nverftk spet fg t`k wèhk pnra. Hkts dkt cheskryeu

cng `knr reds.

Nhh F ceuhj t`fga wns,Nrk yeu mucafgd afjjfgd ik5 Veu wngt

ik te dkt cheskr te t`k pegj5 S`ft, Fnidefgd te kgj up egJntk-

hfgk. (F bust wngt te de eg t`k rkcerj rfd`t krk t`nt f iy jnud`-

tkr kvkr jeks seikt`fgd t`fs stupfj, Fhh afhh `kr iyskh.)

Fvk `knrj reds okerk. Fi rei Angsns, F snfj.

Vkn`, out t`k wntkr fs se prktty fg t`k ieeghfd`t. Ceik eg.

@k tuddkj eg iy `ngj.

_kj nds, ns`fgd nhnris, cejk ohuknhh e ft wns defgd e fg

iy `knj.

Step ft! F ykhhkj. Hkt de e ik!T`nts wregd, Bkg5 Kokgkzkr nsakj, dkgufgkhy ceguskj.

Veu cngt afhh ik! F wegt de jewg wftèut n d`t, ngj f F

cngt step yeu, Fhh nt hknst ùrt yeu!

@ehy s`ft, w`nt fs yeur preohki5 T`y weuhj yeu t`fga F

wngt te afhh yeu5 Veurk fgsngk!

Fifgsngk5 Veurk n strngdkr wè oreud`t ik te t`k ifjjhke n jkskrtkj pnra fg t`k jknj e t`k gfd`t, ngj yeu akkp pus`fgd

ik tewnrj n pegj se F cng `knr reds5 Fi noeut rknjy te

scrntc` eut yeur kyks.


21/24

?< BKG INGG

Kokgkzkr teea vk stkps onca rei ik. Eany, sktthk jewg,

`k snfj èhjfgd up `fs `ngjs fg surrkgjkr.

F wngt te hknvk. Gew, F `fsskj.Eany. Hkts de.

Tk wnhakj fg sfhkgck er n oft ugtfh iy knrtoknt shewkj jewg

ngj F jktkrifgkj Kokgkzkr wns get defgd te afhh ik ngj juip

iy oejy fg t`k pegj. (Oy t`k wny, t`fs weuhj ok t`k rst e

ingy, ingy tfiks F wns cegvfgckj t`k @uos wns tryfgd te afhh

ik. Fg `fs jkkgsk, F orfgd eut t`nt fgstfgct fg ingy pkephk, se`ks erdfvkg.)

Fi serry, F snfj.

Fts gk. F jfjgt t`fga t`nt egk t`reud`. F bust wngtkj te

s`nrk t`nt phnck wft` yeu. Tngt seik fck crkni5

Vks, phknsk! Okcnusk fck crkni nhwnys sehvks kvkryt`fgd.

T`kg `k jreppkj ik e nt t`k ètkh t`nt gfd`t, `k jfjgt

kvkg try te afss ik. F wns pesftfvk `k wns stfhh t`fgafgd noeut t`k

nct t`nt Fj t`rkntkgkj te scrntc` `fs kyks eut hkss t`ng ng èur

okerk. N hftthk w`fhk hntkr `k cnhhkj iy ètkh reei.

@khhe5 F w`fspkrkj, tryfgd get te wnak up C.O., wè wns fg

t`k gkxt okj.

T`nt nrk yeu wknrfgd5 `k nsakj.

Muca yeu, F snfj. \nbnin evkrnhhs.@k hnud`kj. F `nj ug tegfd`t.

Ik tee, F njifttkj.

Fvk det n preohki, tèud`.

T`nts t`k inttkr5 F nsakj `fi.

Fi weezy, `k snfj.

Tkhh t`kg, sft jewg! \ut yeur `knj oktwkkg yeur agkks@ky, juiiy, Fi weezy, okcnusk e yeu. Veu injk ik

weezy tegfd`t. F agkw t`fs wns defgd te `nppkg f wk ikt.


22/24

\KE\HK F TNGZ ZE \[GC@ FG Z@K Z@_ENZ ?>

E`, F snfj stupfjhy. F `nj ge fjkn èw te rkspegj. Nhh e iy

hfk oeys ngj ikg nvk phnykj dniks wft` ik. Fvk nhwnys nj te

dukss2 Jeks `khfak hfak ik er jeks `k bust hfak ik5 Fs `k frtfgdwft` ik er fs `k okfgd gfck5 Fj gkvkr `nj ngyegk ok se rnga

noeut `fs kkhfgds. Znts gfck, F snfj, hfak ng fjfet.

Vks. Ft fsgfck. Se . . . yeu wngt te tnha noeut Stnr Tnrsseik

ierk5

Vks! Mfgnhhy n tepfc F agkw èw te `ngjhk! Eany.

Nmkr wkj spkgt ng èur w`fspkrfgd eg t`k pègk, C.O. sntup, t`rkw n pfhhew nt ik, ngj ykhhkj, Veurk ng njernohk Kwea

ngj `ks Huak Saywnhakr! Jnrt` ]njkr fs nwkseik ngj Hkfn fs

evkrrntkj! Mfgk. T`ntkvkr. Bust phknsk de te okj, yeu psycè!

Fhh skk yeu teierrew, Kokgkzkr snfj.

Ngj wk ùgd up.

Tkvk okkg tedkt`kr kvkr sfgck, okcnusk F snw rfd`t t`reud`

`fs dru, jeray kxtkrfer ngj rknhfzkj Fj ok n ceiphktk eeh te hkt

t`fs duy de. Nmkr nhh, t`krk nrkgt tee ingy ikg eut t`krk wfhhfgd

te put up wft` iy orngj e crnzy.

Mfmkkg yknrs hntkr F agew gew t`nt Kokgkzkr wns nrnfj te

ikkt ik ngj t`nts w`y `k wns suc` ng nssèhk. Jegt dkt ik

wregd`k fs n vkry ohugt pkrseg wft` `nrjhy ngy htkr ngj

ceuhjgt tkhh n w`ftk hfk f `fs hfk jkpkgjkj upeg ft (gkvkrnsa t`fsing f yeur outt heeas ofd ughkss yeu cng tnak t`k trut`). @k nj

n crus` eg ik ngj agkw F jfjgt kkh t`k snik wny. @k tèud`t

ft wns rfjfcuheus te kvkg ikkt, okcnusk ft weuhj bust cegri `fs

kkhfgds ngj t`kg kj ok stuca pfgfgd er n dfrh wè hfvkj fg Ang-

sns.

Se t`krk yeu nvk ft2 t`k iest reingtfc hevk stery yeuvk kvkr`knrj. Onsfcnhhy wk wkrk twe wkfrjes (uturk crnzy cnt hnjy Bkg

ngj pnrkgts-onskikgt-jwkhhkr Kokgkzkr) wè eugj hevk c`nt-


23/24

?? BKG INGG

tfgd eghfgk fg t`k Tfhj Tkst jnys e t`k Fgtkrgkt w`kg iest

pkephk wkrk crkkpkrs heeafgd er cyokrskx.

Mer ingy yknrs wk wkrk afgj e ns`nikj te njift `ew wkikt, ngj w`kgkvkr pkephk weuhj nsa us, wkj nhwnys sny, N iu-

tunh rfkgj.

Tk bust gkvkr snfj eur iutunh rfkgj wns NEH.


24/24

Erjkr yeur cepy em

\KE\HK F TNGZ ZE \[GC@ FG Z@K Z@_ENZOy Bkg Ingg

Mrei egk em t`k okhew rktnfhkrs2
https://play.google.com/store/search?q=9780345549983&c=bookshttp://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=VD9*lkiWNd8&offerid=258185.12829781935712206&type=2&u1=People+I+Want+to+Punch+in+the+Throat-EL-Scribd-NA-PIWTPITT--9780345549983&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kobobooks.com%2Fsearch%2Fsearch.html%3Fq%3D9780345549983https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/isbn9780345549983?at=11l3IH&ct=People+I+Want+to+Punch+in+the+Throat-EL-Scribd-NA-PIWTPITT--9780345549983http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?ISBSRC=Y&ISBN=9780345549983&cm_mmc=Random%20House-_-People+I+Want+to+Punch+in+the+Throat-EL-Scribd-NA-PIWTPITT--9780345549983-_-People+I+Want+to+Punch+in+the+Throat-EL-Scribd-NA-PIWTPITT--9780345549983-_-People%2BI%2BWant%2Bto%2BPunch%2Bin%2Bthe%2BThroathttp://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EGMHJQ6?ie=UTF8&tag=randohouseinc700735-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=B00EGMHJQ6http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780345549839?aff=randomhouse1http://www.powells.com/biblio/9780345549839?utm_source=Scribd&utm_campaign=randomhouse&utm_content=People+I+Want+to+Punch+in+the+Throat-TR-Scribd-NA-PIWTPITT--9780345549839http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?ISBSRC=Y&ISBN=9780345549839&cm_mmc=Random%20House-_-People+I+Want+to+Punch+in+the+Throat-TR-Scribd-NA-PIWTPITT--9780345549839-_-People+I+Want+to+Punch+in+the+Throat-TR-Scribd-NA-PIWTPITT--9780345549839-_-People%2BI%2BWant%2Bto%2BPunch%2Bin%2Bthe%2BThroathttp://www.amazon.com/gp/product/034554983X?ie=UTF8&tag=randohouseinc700734-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=034554983X

Documents

People I Want to Punch In The Throat by Jen Mann (an excerpt)