PEACE KEEPING STARTS WITH PEACE KEEPING STARTS WITH OURSELVESOURSELVES By Poran Poregbal By Poran Poregbal

www.middlepeace.comwww.middlepeace.com© copyright 2007© copyright 2007

Peace is about to keep Peace is about to keep harmony, inside and outside, harmony, inside and outside,

to live a healthy life inside to live a healthy life inside and outsideand outside

ThrivingThriving

Peace within ourselves and in our Peace within ourselves and in our communities starts with how much communities starts with how much we thrive: we thrive:

• Self-understandingSelf-understanding

• Self-actualizationSelf-actualization

• Health; physical and psychologicalHealth; physical and psychological

• Social interest (Adler)Social interest (Adler)

• Community feelingCommunity feeling

Our Basic NeedsOur Basic Needs

Hierarchy of needs according to Hierarchy of needs according to Maslow: Maslow:

• PhysiologicalPhysiological

• Safety and securitySafety and security

• Love and sense of belongingLove and sense of belonging

• Self-esteemSelf-esteem

• Self-actualizationSelf-actualization

Peace starts with ourselvesPeace starts with ourselves

• Love yourself and your peopleLove yourself and your people

• Keep boundariesKeep boundaries

• Respect yourselfRespect yourself

• Respect childrenRespect children

• Know your limitationsKnow your limitations

• Take time for yourselfTake time for yourself

LearningLearning

• Use every opportunity to learnUse every opportunity to learn

• Know that you do not knowKnow that you do not know

• Be humbleBe humble

• We are all equal peopleWe are all equal people

• Teach your son to cook and your Teach your son to cook and your daughter to repair carsdaughter to repair cars

• Listen to the inner voice and to othersListen to the inner voice and to others

kindnesskindness

• kindness is an act not wordkindness is an act not word

• Kind in language and actionsKind in language and actions

• Kind in judgmentKind in judgment

• Love for self and othersLove for self and others

• Love for respectLove for respect

• Love for safetyLove for safety

• Love for good behaviorLove for good behavior

At homeAt home

• Give yourself and your partner timeGive yourself and your partner time

• Do not blame, resolve conflict in peaceDo not blame, resolve conflict in peace

• EncourageEncourage

• ListenListen

• Know your biases and own themKnow your biases and own them

• Know your own cultureKnow your own culture• Anger is about fear, Anger is about fear, what are you afraid of?what are you afraid of?

ChildrenChildren

• Parent your child, do not be a friendParent your child, do not be a friend

• Teach, discipline, and coach your childTeach, discipline, and coach your child

• Give your child responsibilityGive your child responsibility

• Ask your child for opinionAsk your child for opinion

• Do not buy loveDo not buy love

• Show loveShow love

• Children are small people, help them Children are small people, help them growgrow

marriagemarriage

• Marriage is not about making two lives Marriage is not about making two lives oneone

• Individuality in marriage keeps love aliveIndividuality in marriage keeps love alive

• Own space and time importantOwn space and time important

• Respect for each other a MUSTRespect for each other a MUST

• Give and receiveGive and receive

• Say what you wantSay what you want

• Say how you feelSay how you feel

Extended familyExtended family

• Grandparents are importantGrandparents are important• Respect their ageRespect their age• Ask them to respect younger generationAsk them to respect younger generation• Do not enmeshDo not enmesh• Every family member is equally importantEvery family member is equally important• If problem with one person, resolve If problem with one person, resolve

conflict with one person, do not let others conflict with one person, do not let others to give opinion, the more people involved to give opinion, the more people involved the worse….no triangle!the worse….no triangle!

Migration, homeMigration, home

• Find peace with the pastFind peace with the past

• Accept inferioritiesAccept inferiorities

• Accept migration as a part of our new Accept migration as a part of our new lifelife

• Do not live in the pastDo not live in the past

• Live in NOWLive in NOW

• Future has not come yetFuture has not come yet

• Feel home where you are happyFeel home where you are happy

TeenagersTeenagers

• Developmental stages and migrationDevelopmental stages and migration

• Self and othersSelf and others

• Loyalty to family and friendsLoyalty to family and friends

• Need for responsibility and Need for responsibility and accountabilityaccountability

• Sense of belonging importantSense of belonging important

• Respect teenagersRespect teenagers

• Get them involved with loveGet them involved with love

On the roadOn the road

• Driving with peaceDriving with peace

• We have timeWe have time

• Treating other cars with respectTreating other cars with respect

• Road rage is hurtfulRoad rage is hurtful

• Do not speedDo not speed

• There are less competent drivers, they There are less competent drivers, they do not mean it, be patient with themdo not mean it, be patient with them

At workAt work

• You are who you are and others are who You are who you are and others are who they arethey are

• Stress is positive at timesStress is positive at times• Respecting other people and their opinionsRespecting other people and their opinions• We own our opinion, own your biasWe own our opinion, own your bias• Be on time, people take you more seriouslyBe on time, people take you more seriously• Talking less, listening more, learning moreTalking less, listening more, learning more

Mental HealthMental Health

• Cognition, behavior, emotionsCognition, behavior, emotions

• Knowing our own abilities compare to Knowing our own abilities compare to what is realwhat is real

• We may or may not find the best jobWe may or may not find the best job

• Our physical pain and emotional pain Our physical pain and emotional pain both are important and need both are important and need treatmenttreatment

Our worldOur world

• Respect for mother earthRespect for mother earth

• God and prayersGod and prayers

• Nature and sunshineNature and sunshine

• Walks and hikesWalks and hikes

• Love for the worldLove for the world

• Respect for our environmentRespect for our environment

• Breathing and cleaner airBreathing and cleaner air

OthersOthers

• Volunteering helpsVolunteering helps

• Proper communication with othersProper communication with others

• Healthy food and cooking classesHealthy food and cooking classes

• Visiting those in needVisiting those in need

• Act of kindnessAct of kindness

• charitycharity