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I've turned mv life ofhord knocks oround

'We're inr.estigating StLconard's.' thc1, told me.

'\,\'hr'l It's e loscd.' l suid.

'.r*.1 hufffin-s along ther'..corridor.Itried

I ,. 'nr)'best not to benoticed.'ConnollcyI Wherchave -vou becn'l'velied myhonsemaster. Mr Starling.

'Toilet, sir"'I licd. I'dbecn hiding, tryirrg to figureout how to ,set Out of StLconard's Homc tbr Boys.

I'd bccn orphancd whcnrry nlum abandoned me atjust two u,eeks old. and I'dspcnt the tirst cight years

of lile in a home run by.

nuns. sate and happy.St Leonarcl's. in

Hornchurch. Essex.though. rvas a dittircntkcttle of fish. . .

Ml Starling bore downon me. 'Don't lie to me.'he sneered.

Suddenly. I l'elt a searinghot pain through my scalpand my t'eet were lifted ot}the ground.

'No... sir... please...'I be-eged. but he wasn'tIistenin_q to me.

Dragging me by nty haiL

up a fli-uht of stairs. he let

ffiW "*,w, ;fr: ,."s$* ff,*

#,;-$ , ta, # ft*t,#,ffi.

go. ancl I fell back clown.Laying at the bottom in

agonv. his siradoq' loomed.'That u,ill teach you to

obey the rules.' he spat.

That wasn't the first timeI'd been thrown dorvn stairs.and it wouldn't be the last.

As rvell as beatin-us. Iwas fbrced to strip nakedand had lighted ciglreftesstubbecl ollt on me.

But rt ivas the mentallbuse I cor.rldn't handle...

'You'r'e nothing. no oneloves you.'Mr Starlingwould sneer. 'You'reworthless. You'll be thenexl one in prison.'

I believed him. too.Leaving St Leonard's at

18. unable to read or write.m1' lit'e llls coing rror.r hclc.

In the late 80s. I heard

that the place closed and.over the years. I heardsnippets about other boys.

Prison... overdose...jumped in lront ol ir tririn....

Then. when I was 35.thele was a knock at mydoor. lt was the police.

'We've hadcomplaints.' theyexplained. 'It scenslhere was a paedophilering operating therc.'

A chill wcnt throughme - I'd been lucky to

escapc with just beatings.I gave a statement and, a

couple ol months later, myhouscnaster Bill Slarlin_s,norv 7.1. rrppearcd in court.

He was sentence.l to 14

1,cars in priscn tbr sexr"rallyabLrsing I I gills and boys.

Suddenly. I rcaiised itwas tirre I madc the mostol'lil'e after nry luck1,escape at the honre.

I'd been boxin-e fbrycars, so I decided to gointo personal training.

I r.vent back to college.too. and lcarned to rcadand write.

Soon. I rva-r tcachingboxcrcrsc. and I cr.cn nradca titness vicleo with niodelElie Macphcrson!

Just befbre nrv 40thbirthday. I met Jo throughwork. We've been togethcreight -vears and have tn'olovely boys. Harley. six.and Archic, onc.

With her support. I'vcwritten a book about nrylile - A,qair.rt A ll Odds.

Sometimes. it's hard tobelieve I'r,e come so f-ar'.

i'm just glad I didn't letSt Leon:rrd's rulc my lit'e.l] i.i t I t:,.. r.;3.,:- : r:: .i" i 11

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