passThe Quarterly Magazine of the Mastermind Club

Magnus usually made thecontestants feel at ease,

but on one particular daysomething was different…

2002:2

2 Letters, news and views

4 And so to bed...

5 Knobbly knees

7 Glasgow gleanings

8 Annual General Meeting

10 Master Quiz and Magnum report

12 Getting wired

14 Mugnum 2002 questions

15 Ann(e)

How to win a quiz night

16 Travels in the “realms of gold”

24 Mastermind Club Accounts 2001

IBC Membership matters

BC Artists Quiz

pass and its contents ©2002 by the Mastermind Club except where noted. Contributions are welcome

but may be edited or held over owing to space limitations. All material is published at the sole discretion

of the Editor and Committee. Copy deadlines are the first of January (Issue 1), April (2), July (3), and

October (4). Publication is normally 4-6 weeks later. Please notify the Secretary of any problems in

receiving pass (allow an extra week or two for printing and postal delays – check for current status).

Officers and CommitteePresident Tony Dart,Hon. Vice-President Dr. K. Gerald Powell-MacKenzieSecretary Gavin FullerTreasurer Paul F. HendersonMembership Secretary Peter W. J. ChittyEditor of pass Craig E. ScottCommittee Members

Patricia OwenAnn KellyPhillida GranthamAlan D. Blackburn

Club ShoppingPatricia Owen

Yes, they’re still available!! T-shirts with “I’ve started so I’ll finish” on the front and “It’s only a bloody game”on the back, in white on dark navy – only £6.00 all sizes. All prices include postage and packing. Send acheque with your order, payable to the Mastermind Club, to:

Patricia Owen

Ties £Silver (single-logo) 6.00Maroon (multi-logo) 7.00Royal blue (multi-logo) 7.00

T- shirtsWhite on dark navy (M, L, XL, XXL) 6.00

Rugby shirtsBurgundy, Kelly green (M, L, XL) 18.00Burgundy, Kelly green (XXL) 20.00

SweatshirtsOatmeal (M, L, XL) 15.00Red (M, L, XL) 15.00

JewelleryKey rings 5.00Pendants 5.00Tie clips 7.00Stick pins 6.00

PensWhite with logo 6.00

“Membership Matters” appears on the inside back cover

2002:2 1

Forward passCraig Scott, Editor

First of all, I regret to report thedeath of Jack Clark, one of ourmost beloved members. As the

news spread around the annualfunction, sadness was tempered bythe many fond memories shared.

Jack was, of course, a valuedcontributor to pass, and this issuewill not, alas, be graced by MasterJack’s Diary. Thanks to StewartCross, Michael Davison and AnnKelly for stepping into the breachand bringing you the high pointsof the weekend in Glasgow.

Like Michael, we particularlyenjoyed Rennie Mackintosh’sGlasgow College of Art. Inspiredby the tour, we bought thetypeface (as you can see) andsought refreshment at his WillowTea Rooms.

On tour with Magnus

Having started Magnus’smagisterial Scotland: Story of aNation in anticipation of theGlasgow trip, I was appalled athow little I’d retained by the timeof the Magnum quiz, whichincluded a batch of Magnus’s ownquestions on Scotland. Though I’dencountered virtually all theanswers in the previous fortnight, Iremembered hardly anything!

Magnus is particularly good atfinding traces of the history in themodern landscape, and the bookprovided a Baedeker for our scenicroute home – from Bute throughArgyll and Perthshire to Angus,then south to Edinburgh.

After stopping to visit Keith andMarga in their Northumbrianhideaway, as well as themagnificent Bede’s World inJarrow, we returned with a batch

of newly identified Scottishancestors and four feet of books!

Distractions, distractions

Without any work in hand, Ithought getting around to pass

would be easy. I reckoned withoutthe distractions of all those thingswe’d been too busy for – gettingthe new ancestors onto thecomputer, getting out the shortsand Hawai`ian shirts (surely atriumph of hope over experience)or doing the hanging basketsbefore the rains set in.

And, of course, all those books!Among the Anglo-Saxoniana andHiberniana, Magnus remained themost powerful distraction until Ifinally (and reluctantly) finishedthe book, truly this season’s mostdelectable literary experience.Among other insights, it gave onea singular perspective on theevents of this Jubilee year.

Ah yes, the Jubilee. Spending theholiday weekend trying to finishoff pass in between dashingdownstairs to catch the massedCommonwealth ten-year-olds, theBarsetshire Goat Posse, or the giantcommemorative worktop of theMelamine Advisory Service.

You will have your own favouriteJubilee memories and moments. Iwill always think of Her Majesty,dignified under an umbrella on arainy Jubilee Monday in Slough,listening to people all over thecountry trying to sing “All youneed is love”, then returning toBuck House to find 12,000 subjectspicnicking on the lawn and untoldthousands more in the streetsoutside, waiting to party with ahost of sixty-something rock ’n’rollers. I mean, I can’t imagine thatOzzy Osbourne comes close tobeing her musical cup of tea.

Not being that way inclined, atleast the World Cup hasn’t been adistraction. Still, that leaves theStanley Cup finals and extrabaseball, starting this week, tocompete with my other pursuits.

Another bumper issue

Hoping that you feel the struggle’sbeen worth it, I thank you all forthe abundance of material whichmakes this issue the biggest insome time. A particular welcometo new contributor BernardHowell, with whom you can takean armchair journey to SouthAmerica.

I conclude with two fervent pleas:

• If you’ve spent all that timedescribing adventures infar-flung places, describing eventhe photographs you’ve taken,wouldn’t it be nice to share theimages themselves? This wouldsave me an enjoyable, iftime-consuming, troll throughthe Web or the NationalGeographic CD-ROMs looking forappropriate illustrations (allphotos returned).

• If you are typing yourcontribution into a PC (notMac), do send it to me on diskas well as paper. Even scanningclean copy takes time.

And finally

I received an e-mail from BamberGascoigne touting his new project,the History World website –www.historyworld.net. I canheartily recommend it. The WhizzQuiz is particularly addictive.

So many books, so little time…

2 pass

Letters, news and viewsFrom Peter Richardson

I’m sorry to say that my friendand Club member Colin Pilkington

died on 21 April. Colin didn’ttake much active interest in theClub and he was a very quiet manwho hated fuss. It gave us, hisclose friends, enormous pleasure tofind that around seventy peoplefrom as far away as Carlisle,Durham, Milton Keynes, Sussex,London, and Cardiff who’d knownand worked with him came to hisfuneral. Even his publisher! He’dhave been pleased too, I’m sure.And astonished. A very quiet andmodest man with a lot more tohim than met the eye.

And another Magnum…

Amagnum of champagne

arrived just in time to celebratethe Christening of

Mastermind Club member SusanLeng’s youngest grandchild. Shewon it as a special prize in theannual Imperial Cancer ResearchFund Christmas quiz. MagnusMagnusson wrote twelveadditional questions for the quizand Moët & Chandon donated thechampagne as the prize. Thequestions included some aboutMagnus, as well as Scotland and ofcourse, Norse mythology.

From Keith and Marga Scott

We are arranging a visit to seethe RSC production of MuchAdo About Nothing (starring

Harriet Walter and Nicholas LePrevost) at the Theatre Royal, GreyStreet, Newcastle upon Tyne, onSaturday, 28 September 2002,starting at 1.30pm. Tickets in theGrand Circle cost £24.

As last year, there will be a mealafter the performance at a venue tobe decided. For those wishing tomake a weekend of it, lunch can be

organised somewhere in theRothbury area on Sunday 29September and various places ofinterest, such as Cragside,Wallington and Alnwick Castle,should still be open.

Please let us know, by early June ifpossible, if you would like to comeand send a cheque for £24 perperson for the theatre. Furtherdetails will be supplied nearer thetime. We will be pleased to adviseif you are going to wantaccommodation in the area.

From Gerald MacKenzie

Firstly, may I express the deepgratitude of myself and myfellow Trustees for the great

generosity of the members at theAnnual General Meeting inGlasgow in adopting Eurolief asthe club charity and also for theircontributions of £272.74 on top ofan expensive weekend.

Secondly, I want to appeal to ourwidest membership through pass

by explaining what is entailed.Eurolief (European Relief) bringshelp and relief to impoverishedpost-Ceascescu rural Romaniawhere conditions are desperate.

I became involved by extension ofmy voluntary work as theorganiser of the pastoral care ofthe parishioners of our group ofparishes. My particular role is tocontact and respond to requestsfrom patients and their doctorsaround the area of a townshipcalled Targa Mures for modernmedicines which are unobtainable,and if they were, prohibitivelyexpensive. For example, on thelast trip in December I provided£450 worth of medication for the

pastor’s father alone. Thiscompares with the salary paid toRomanian National Health Servicedoctors of about £10 per week.

Customs and Excise are mosthelpful but because of the risk ofconfiscation in Eastern Europeeach batch of medicines isconsigned to the specific patientsand their doctors and delivered bya Trustee personally, accompaniedby the proper certificates and visas.

In addition, we take clothing,comforts, toys, food, sweets(especially at Christmas) whichform the bulk of the cargo – as wellas superfluous or outdated hospitaland medical supplies which,although unusable in litigiouswestern societies, are gratefullyreceived in Eastern Europe.

To sum up, we aim to make threeto four trips per year dependingupon the success of our

fundraising; sponsored cycle rides,sports, fetes, barn dances,marathons, etc., and, of course,begging in all directions to obtainthe necessary goods. Our old vanfinally expired in Hungary so wehave had to buy a second-handFord Transit for £1,500.

The cost of the last trip wasapproximately £1,200. Thisincluded visas, ferries, and dieselfuel. The cargo was estimated at aretail purchase value of £10,000.To save money the drivers(Trustees) sleep in the van. I didnot make the trip myself, whichwas just as well at the age of 77,because the van broke down 15kmfrom the nearest habitation whenthe diesel fuel froze at –20ºC.

If, as I hope, some of you kindpeople are moved to help with thiswork, cheques should be madepayable to Eurolief and sent to myhome address (see the inside frontcover of pass) and I will pass themon to our Treasurer.

2002:2 3

From Henry Button

You will see from the cutting(Cambridge Evening News,13 February 2002) that I

obtained my Master of Lettersdegree back in 1977. The reasonwhy it has now brought me asplendid certificate is that TheTimes of 19 October 2000 hadcarried a report of a man who hadjust got his degree from the OpenUniversity after 28 years. He hadwritten, tongue-in-cheek, toGuinness World Records to ask ifthis was a record and, somewhat tohis surprise, they sent him acertificate to prove it.

This prompted me to ask if I couldhave a certificate for my 42 years.For various reasons the subsequentcorrespondence dragged on formore than a year, but I finally gotmy certificate this month. Thearticle in the paper led to myappearance on the local TVprogramme Look East and tointerviews on two local radiostations.

From Lance Haward

Another of those productiontwists, along with the time-lagon visual starters, is that the

normal University Challengeteam-introduction is replaced forthe Reunited series by five minutesof reminiscence – which aren’ttransmitted in the studio duringthe recording. Consequently,while one knows (or has areasonable opportunity ofknowing) which one isplaying, one doesn’t actually know

one’s individual opponentsare.

Which is how I only came to beapprised, the morning after, thatfor the second time (so to speak)I’d been up against my nemesisStephen Follows (cf. Letters,Summer 2001 issue).

I’m starting to feel that theone being Followed. ”Stalked”would be too explicit.

From Michael Grosvenor Myer

Profound disagreement with LeoStevenson and Lance Haward(letters in last two issues).

“Grace me no Grace nor uncle meno uncle,” says Shax’s John ofGaunt; “He out-Herods Herod”says his Hamlet. Examples ofverb-noun and noun-verbmetamorphoses from all ourgreatest writers could be multipliedad infinitum et nauseam; all ofwhich would reinforce myconviction that the nominalisedverb and the verbalised noun,which Messrs. Stevenson andHaward denounce as “horrors” ofrecent origin, have always beenthere; and, indeed, that theflexibility with which Englishwords can flit effortlessly fromservice as one part of speech toanother, far from being a horridinnovation, has always been oneof the glories of the language.

4 pass

And so to bed...Jack Clark remembered by his friend Philip H. Weston

Mastermind

Jack was born on 1 June 1918, the son of aboot and shoe maker. He had one brother,Frank, who was 12 years older than Jack. Jackwon a scholarship to Leeds Modern School andhe loved languages, eventually masteringFrench, German, Spanish and Italian, he alsoloved history and English. He read a greatdeal.

In normal times he no doubt would have goneon to further education, but this was the1930s and he left school and went to work ata private library in The Leeds Institute, workhe always recalled with fond memories. Warwas clearly on the cards and he volunteeredfor the Royal Navy. His potential was soonrecognised and he was sent for officertraining; he became a lieutenant and served onHMS and later on convoy duties andmine sweepers. In 1944, while in South Africa,he contracted malaria and was dischargedfrom the Navy.

On return to the U.K., he worked for theMinistry of Supply and after the war didvarious jobs before going to Lewis’sdepartment store in Leeds where he workedfor 23 years. Rising to the position of SeniorTravel Clerk, he travelled all over Europe as acourier during the summer months. In 1973,following a disagreement with Lewis’s, hewent to work for the YORKSHIRE POST as acopytaker and before he retired ten years laterhe was chief copytaker.

THE MERCHANT OF VENICEKING LEAR

INHERIT THE WIND

PASS

Jack’s funeral was a non-religious service, ashe had requested, and was attended by hismany friends both from the local amateurtheatre groups and his second home, the localpub. In accordance with his wishes there wereno flowers except for a bunch of red roses onthe coffin. There was a collection for the RNLI,whose Whitby station agreed to scatter hisashes at sea. So after 60 years Jack wasreunited with the sea he loved.

I knew Jack for about 45 years and followinga mugging in 1986 when he was stabbed hecame to share my home. I valued hisfriendship, his humour and his courtesybecause Jack was a gentleman in all senses ofthe word. I will miss him.

2002:2 5

Knobbly Knees andthe High Peaks ofAcademeStewart Cross kicks off our review of Glasgow 2002

Early this year Jack Clark died.He was a regular and muchloved attender of the annual

function, where he acted as scribeto recount hilariously, in codRestoration prose, the events ofeach weekend (Sir Magnus and theHobbledehoy in all its Pepysianglory). I do not presume to imitate,but only to offer somerecollections of a weekend worthremembering.

Glasgow put on its best face for us,sunny and warm and, as always,welcoming. Just under 80 of usgathered for the annualmerriments and, left to our owndevices on the Saturday, each cut aslice from the rich cultural cakethat is Glasgow and went ourvarious ways – the Burrell,Kelvingrove, the RennieMackintosh trail, St. Mungo’s andthe Necropolis. Like intersectinggun carriages at the RoyalTournament, we often crossedpaths, ten at the St. Mungo’sMuseum, dozens at the Burrell,comparing notes and makingsuggestions. I stumbled on a shortconcert of contemporary music forviolin and cello in the Museum ofModern Art. One of thecomposers, John Maxwell Geddes,gave his explanation for the pieceCallanish II, inspired by nightssleeping in the stone circle onLewis and communing with thestones and the stars, which toldhim what to write. Copies of thiswork are buried at Callanish,Stonehenge and on Mount Everest,to give back to nature what naturehad given to him. It all suggestedthat the liberation of the dope lawsin Scotland is progressing

somewhat faster in Scotland thanin England! Haunting though, andworth the listen.

When we returned to the hoteland appeared for our pre-dinnernoggin, we were blessed (is this theword?) with the sight of MessrsDart, Emond, Fuller, Henderson,Hughes and Stevenson in full dresskilt, displaying various degrees ofkneecap, varying from the timidlyelusive to the Mary Quant-likedaring. As Simon Callow said somemorably in Four Weddings and aFuneral, “My God, it must bebloody Brigadoon!”. All a greatshock but undoubtedly smart.Rumours that Ken Emond, theonly Scot among them, hadcoaxed the other five into it to geta discount price are, I’m sure,scurrilous. Phillida also sported thetartan, looking quite regal, as ifanticipating the skirl of the pipesto lead us all in a reel. GordonStuart of course, always wears thekilt and always looks the part, asbefits a clansman.

The meal is always a chance tocatch up with friends old and newand a good prelude to theMagnum Quiz. There are those outthere that probably recall some ofthe earlier quizzes as being toolong, too difficult and toocomplicated. Now the formula issimpler, the pace a lot snappierand the questions … ah well, stilldifficult but more light-hearted.

The themed rounds on translationsof national anthems (howridiculous many of them are) andthe Eurovision Song Contestcaused especial delight to the

audience. The latter no doubtmade the finalists ponder whetherto dismissively say they didn’tknow, eliciting numerous “quiterights” from the massed MesdamesDesfarges, or give a correct answer,tempting us to Paxman-like “I’d beashamed to know that”. Giventhat among the correct answersgiven were Switzerland (the firstwinners), France (the country thatboycotted it for poor standards)and Save Your Kisses For Me (theBritish winner that secured over80% of the vote), then clearly thelatter prevailed. The light-heartedelement does help to deflect thatthe quiz is, as it must be, a tester,and that many of us scamperabout in the foothills of the peaksof knowledge scaled by our moreseasoned competitors. Manyanswers, however, are not knownby the finalists, giving Magnus (onsplendid form this year) thechance to ask the audience toshine (smugly!) if their particularpinnacle is chanced upon. It waswon, ultimately decisively, byGeoff Thomas, but enlivened by aspectacular purple patch from KenEmond in the semi-finals, whichleft him runner-up for the secondyear running. Like Rangers, topush the Glasgow analogy.Magnus, on home turf this year,contributed entertaining roundson Glasgow and Scottish history,that suggested more homeworkwas required. See me later boy.

Continued overleaf

The lamp standard motifs refer to legendsassociated with St. Mungo (Kentigern),patron saint of Glasgow.

The bird that never flew,the tree that never grew,the fish that never swam,the bell that never rang

6 pass

Knobbly Knees (continued)

Repaired to the bar for late nightdrinks and chatted to the earlyhours. Talked about everything

from the Middle East, PresidentBush, the Queen Mum, Lord of theRings and, most importantly, thewisdom of showing kneecaps inpublic. Capital punishment for thelatter seemed a good solution. Fartoo late to bed as usual, but upwith the lark to walk around thehotel lake and avoid upsetting theswans that congregate there.

The AGM was brief, well organisedand lively. Many of you may recallthe rambling three-hour sessionsof yesteryear – think again. To beserious for a moment, thestewardship of the presentCommittee headed by Tony Dart,has been remarkable in giving theClub an enviable financial solidityand sense of purpose that seemedimpossible 15 years ago. This isknown and recognised by all who

have attended these A.G.M.s, butshould be known and appreciatedby all who rely on pass as theirchannel of communication withthe Club. I will not dwell on theAGM (the minutes appear on page24) but the above sentiments arewidely shared and would not beaired in print by any Committeemember for modesty’s sake. So I’mdoing it.

Following Sunday lunch (welldone Constance for getting adifferent vegetarian option fromthe previous two days – a notableachievement, I gather) lots of ussallied forth to Loch Lomond,basking in truly Mediterraneansunshine and looking picturepostcard pretty. We were takenpity on by a young lady, whodecided that Gavin’s and Leo’sattempts to take group photoswith a timer mechanism weredoomed to failure and simply

offered to take the shots. Thequeue to get down to the lochsideat Luss would still be there but forher, I fear. A circular route back toGlasgow took us past Faslane andthe razor-wired fencing thatsurrounds it. Took note that thepermanent peace camp was a mileor so further on with splendidviews across the sea loch,unencumbered by anything sointrusive as an ugly fence!

All in all, another grandweekend, well fed and watered,good weather, good

conversation and good friends.Next year, all being well, thesplendid Amsterdam to mark 25years of the Mastermind Club. I dosometimes wonder if some newermembers, and indeed older ones,are put off from these weekendsbecause they see as it a group ofold friends. Don’t be. We like tomake new ones as well.

Ann Kelly seconds the point

I’m not sure what made theMastermind Annual Functionthis year stand above the others,

was it the sensational weather?(Was it really Glasgow in April?)Or the sensational sight of somany male legs!? If anyone shouldthink that Ken Edmond couldn’tlook even more gorgeous, just seewhat he looks like in a kilt!!

The hotel was in an ideal position,near enough to the City Centre byexcellent public transport, and justtwenty minutes or so fromoutstanding countryside.

Anyone who does not like tocome along to the Mastermindfunctions as they feel it

“wouldn’t be their thing”, pleaseconsider coming along next year.Anyone who has never beenbefore, or only occasionally, can beassured of a very warm welcome.The functions are very friendly andjolly and no one needs to be lefton their own unless they want to.The full package is notcompulsory: many people comejust for the dinner.

Photos by Michael DavisonAbove: knobbly knees assembled.Below: Phillida initiated into the Eddie Stobartfan club, while fellow Mugnum winners makedo with souvenirs of Scotland.Right: happy Celtic fans.

2002:2 7

Glasgow gleaningsMIchael Davison’s view of the function

Kilts were out in force in the barat Jurys Hotel, Glasgow, for theMastermind Club’s first

excursion north of the bordersince we invaded Edinburgh in1986. Conventionally-attiredmembers were jostled aside in therush for photographs as somehalf-dozen clansmen-for-the-nightshowed their knees for thecameras. For once even Magnusthe Great was temporarilyupstaged, and must have regrettedleaving his blood-axe at home.

Summoned to dinner, the kiltsspread themselves democraticallyamong some 80 guests, and agenerous four-course mealunfolded. Curiosity aroused by thepresence of a champagne flute ateach setting was satisfied whenthey were filled for a loyal toastwhich had special significance at aweekend that preceded the QueenMother’s funeral. (After thisdisplay of royalist feeling, did ourears deceive us when at Sunday’sAGM we thought we heard a lonevoice querying the continuedrelevance of the loyal toast…?)

Quiz time was an unusually‘open’ event this year, withKevin absent and Gavin,

poacher turned gamekeeper,setting most of the questions.Although only nine contestantsare ‘on parade’, the quiz has to befun for the entire audience, towhom the test of a good questionis “Do I care about the answer?”The general consensus was thatthis year’s questions – on themesranging from the Eurovision SongContest to the history of Glasgow(Magnus took the blame for these)passed the test with flying colours.Certainly there were nocomplaints from Geoff Thomas,who displayed cool confidence

against all comers to inherit theMagnum trophy from Gavin.

Magnus as always controlled theproceedings with stern disciplineand trenchant wit, and a freshfund of anecdotes and schoolboyhowlers: who will ever read aboutcircumnavigators again without asmile? This year he did not have toconfront the ‘hobbledehoys’whose thwarted attempt togatecrash last year’s proceedingswas so unforgettably chronicled bythe late lamented Jack Clark. (IsGlasgow, then, a more law-abidingcity than Bristol?)

As for our host city, everyonewill have made their owndiscoveries during our free time

on Saturday. Questers afterMugnum enlightenment made forthe Mitchell Library, Europe’slargest reference library. I chose tostart the day with a guided tour ofthe Glasgow School of Art,designed by Glasgow hero CharlesRennie Mackintosh, and a visit tohis nearby Willow Tea Rooms. It isnoticeable that in George Streetmodern businesses still adoptMackintosh motifs on the facadesof their multi-storey office blocks.

Glasgow’s ‘hidden gem’ for meproved to be the St MungoMuseum, opposite the cathedral,surely one of the finest smallmuseums in Britain. What asurprise it was to walk into themain gallery and find oneselfconfronted by Salvador Dali’smasterly Christ of St John of theCross – a painting which, if I’deven known it was in Britain, Iwould have assumed was in one ofthe big national collections. In sidegalleries the displays on religiouslife and art are marvels of selectionand imaginative display.

I’ve heard Glasgow called a ‘greencity’, but I was still amazed todiscover just how rich it is in parksand other open spaces. From theBotanic Garden close to Jurys –ideal for a pre-breakfast walkbeside the Kelvin River – to thegrassy Necropolis across the citybehind St Mungo’s Cathedral,every part of the city seems tohave its own space in which topause and relax.

There was an extra greenness inthe town centre on Saturdayevening where I found myself

caught up among flag-wavingCeltic supporters celebrating thatafternoon’s clinching of theScottish Premiership – andqueuing up to have me take theirpictures. Before long I decided thatwisdom lay in making an excuseand leaving, rather than riskincurring the dreaded ‘Glasgowkiss’ – or head-butt, as it’s knownfurther south.

On Sunday afternoon, more than adozen members drove to LochLomond and enjoyed the beachand the bonnie banks. I walked onGlasgow Green beside the Clyde,largest of all the city’s green spacesand scene of the early Rangers andCeltic matches. Here familiespicnicked in the warm sunshine orroamed the evocative displays ofthe history of Glaswegians over theyears in the People’s Palace.

What a wealth of newexperiences Glasgow offered!However, during a weekend

dominated by the twitch of tartansand the swirl of sporrans, itremains a mystery to me that noneof our earnest seekers after truthtook the opportunity to find theanswer to the most fundamentalquestion about Scotsmen in kilts.

8 pass

Annual General MeetingMinutes of the 24th AGM of the Mastermind Club,Kelvin Suite, Jurys Hotel, Glasgow: 10.45 Sunday 7 April 2002Gavin Fuller, Secretary

Kevin Ashman, Anne Ashurst, Keith Bogle, PaulCampion, Andrew Curtis, Barbara Anne Eddy, ChristopherGifford, Mary Knox-Johnston, Josephine Lawrey, PeterRichardson, Geoff Thomas, Felicity Widdowson.

The minutes of the 23rdAGM at Jurys

Hotel, Bristol on 8 April 2001 were queried by Ray Ward.Firstly, he took issue with the reporting of the Mugnum,accusing Gavin Fuller of a combination of invention ordistortion where he was concerned; Gavin forcefullyrebutted this (and would like to humbly apologise to thosepresent for the vulgar way in which he did so, occasionedby a regrettable loss of temper). Ray secondly tookexception to Gavin’s description of a member in his entryon the Mastermind Club team in Any Other Business,accusing him of unnecessarily adding a derogatorystatement about him; however as several members of thefloor pointed out all he did was make a statement of fact.These exceptions being noted, the minutes were signed as atrue record. There were no other matters arising.

Paul Henderson reported that the Club’sfinances were in a healthy state and explained the facts andfigures via an overhead projection as to how they had beenaffected in the previous year. He was pleased to announcethat once again subscriptions would remain at £7 perannum. Tony Dart pointed out that the fall in Committeeexpenses showed how seriously the Committee took nottaking the Club’s funds for a ride, and Alan Blackburnelucidated how members of the Committee host meetingsat their own expense and do a fine job in doing so andought to be thanked for their generosity. Tony proposedthanks to Paul for his work as Club Treasurer and theaudience passed this nem con.

Paul also reported that Keith Scott had agreed to continueas auditor, and after Sheila Ramsden formally proposedhim Mr Scott’s appointment was passed nem con, especiallyas there were no other takers for the role. Keith wasthanked for his work.

Craig Scott reported that there had been fewerproblems with the production of pass over the previousyear, and less expense to boot. He was reasonably full ofmaterial, especially from the Haward/Slater axis, butwelcomed more from others. He had finally been able toredesign the magazine, and this enabled more text per pageand the better handling of pictures. If submissions weresent on disk he welcomed hard copy, so as he could seehow the article was meant to look! Ray asked whethere-mail was an acceptable way of sending submissions –Craig answered in the affirmative. As regards to photos,they could be sent in a scanned format, which would benice as it would save him the trouble of doing it himself.Margery Elliot congratulated Craig on his work with pass,

and Tony Dart proposed a formal vote of thanks to Craigfor his work on pass, which was passed accordingly. Craigalso asked that his wife Sarah be thanked for herinestimable assistance to himself with producing themagazine – this was done accordingly.

Gerald MacKenzie proposed that for the newcharity (the Stephen Menary Fund having been for 2001only) the Club should assist Eurolief, a charity assistingRomania by sending medical supplies and the like there,where they were badly needed. Even a modest contributionfrom the Club would have an effect. Gordon Stuartseconded this, and offered to translate any Romaniandocuments that may be sent as a result. There being noother suggestions, the proposal of Eurolief was passed nemcon. With the assistance of £20 from Michael Davison, whohad sold some of his photos from Club events over the pastyear at Glasgow to help the Club Charity, a collection wastaken and £266.74 raised.

Tony Dart reported that it had been aninteresting year for the Club, with the new Discoveryversion of the programme having brought in 19 newmembers. Regional meetings were still going apace, withspecial mention of an excellent weekend in Novemberarranged by Keith and Marga Scott. That the Club was stillflourishing fully justified the decision five years earlier atHarrow to keep it as it was. He was sad to inform the Clubthat Jack Clark had died the previous month, reading themoving letter that Jack’s friend Philip Weston had sentGavin after Jack’s funeral. As a tribute to Jack he stated thata compilation of Jack’s excellent diaries would be made forpass; Craig also asked for somebody to try and follow in hisfootsteps, difficult as this would be. Tony wound up bythanking the members of the Club for their continuedsupport of it. Gavin proposed that Tony be thanked for hiswork as President, as he had one of the hardest jobs inkeeping the Committee in order during their meetings;seconded by Sheila Ramsden this was enthusiasticallypassed nem con.

Peter Chitty compared themembership when he took over in 1992, 360, to the 2002total of 439, a new increase of 13 over 2001. Whether therewould be a new series to possibly boost this further stillwas, alas, unclear. He announced that there would be acommemorative membership card to mark the Club’s 25th

anniversary in 2003, and that would be the final cardissued and a memento of Club membership. He stated hissadness that few members from recent years attendedfunctions and meetings, and wondered how this could beremedied. Melvyn Kinsey was happy to contact newmembers local to him, having discussed this in the bar theprevious night with Gavin, and Sheila Ramsden was happyto telephone new members in her locality.

2002:2 9

Patricia Owen thought that attendees could try and writeup the Glasgow function for pass in such a way as toencourage new attendees. Craig further warned that nocriticism of new series of Mastermind would be put intopass as this would not encourage new members. Peterwondered whether a questionnaire might give a cleareridea as to what members wanted out of the Club; theexpense this would engender was queried by MargeryElliot. Keith Scott pointed out that new members mightfind the stern test of the Magnum and its qualifiersoff-putting – it should be made clear that this is notcompulsory for attendees. Yvonne Weir raised the pointthat members could consider joint travel to functions ifthey lived sufficiently close to make this practical. On ahappier note Gordon Stuart expressed his appreciation forthe Club function coming to Scotland. Tony Dart proposeda vote of thanks to Peter for his work, which was passedaccordingly.

Patricia Owen informed members that £120 worthhad been sold in Glasgow, a figure she hoped to improveafter the AGM. Sales had been slower than the previousyear, whilst new cufflinks and stick pins had been ordered,and she would be happy to take pre-orders for them.Patricia Cowley wondered whether any special insigniawould be done for the 25th Anniversary; this would belooked into although Yvonne Weir emphasised that tiesshould not be an option. Rachel Leonard noted that, withthe blue “I’ve started…” T-shirts, Tippex could be used tomake the lower ‘I’ into upper-case and make itgrammatically correct. Tony Dart proposed a vote of thanksto Patricia for her work with insignia, and this was passedaccordingly.

Glasgow had generallygone well, although Jurys had not been perfect, with itsbooking system having caused confusion and concern forvarious members, its serving of food not as efficient asmight have been hoped for and the vegetarian optionsbeing poor. On the other hand the hotel’s location wasgood and the gym and swimming pool welcomed, even if itwas not open at times when it ought to have been. Gavinwas thanked for his work in organising it.

There were two options for the 2003 function. PaulineWells had been in contact with a hotel in Guernsey keen tohost the Club, and gave a strong case for it citing itsfacilities, travel contacts and ideas for events whilst there.Patricia Cowley and Gordon Stuart seconded this. Being alocal, Marga Scott was asked to put a case for Amsterdam,and cited the wide range of options to do whilst there, withthe possibility if it could be arranged of a tour of theRijksmuseum with the expertise of Leo Stevenson, or tripsto the bulb fields and the like whilst there. Ray Ward andYvonne Weir both felt that for such a special occasiongoing abroad for it would be a bonus, and Sheila Ramsdenpointed out that Amsterdam was easy to get around. AlanBlackburn proposed that with two such good options avote be taken, the result of which was that Guernsey got 12votes and Amsterdam 27. Thus Gavin was given the

onerous task of doing Amsterdam; Marga kindlyvolunteered her assistance to him if necessary. Pauline wasthanked for her work on Guernsey, and Marga was askedabout the possibility of finding people from Megabrein (theDutch version of Mastermind) to attend – from experienceshe was dubious but would try again. Tony announced thatas part of the celebrations in 2003 the Saturday dinnerwould be free to members, the Club being financiallyhealthy enough to subsidise this.

Tony askedGavin to explain the situation, which was that there hadbeen no nominations from outside the Committee, andwith the members of the Committee happy to continuethere was thus no need for an election (Gavin venturingthat the Committee ought to rename itself the Politburo inlight of this!). A proposal from the floor that the Officerscontinue in their posts for the next year was carried nemcon.

It was felt that the 2002 Magnumwent well, being entertaining with a good spread ofquestions. The running late of it was a nuisance however.Christopher Pelly thanked the question setters of theMasterquiz over the years for their work in setting thequizzes and generally getting it right, pointing out thatwith their audience they had to set a rigorous test but stilloften made it interesting in the process.

Gavin Fuller reported that once again theMugnum had been subjected to too many difficultquestions, with only 19 entries (13 individual and 6 team)this time showing just how off-putting it has been. SoniaAnderson won the individual competition with 39 out of apossible 55 points, Ann Kelly was 2nd and Jean Burke 3rd.The team competition was won by the Allsorts (KenEmond, Phillida Grantham and Paul Henderson) with avery sad 45 points. The easiest question was won by PeterTodd, whose question had 17 correct answers, SheilaRamsden as usual donated the prize for this and stressedagain that questions should not be overly difficult. YvonneWeir thought that more team entries should be done, asthere was much fun to be had in working at the Mugnumwith others.

Keith Scott announced that his annualShakespeare event in Newcastle would take place on eitherSeptember 28 or October 19. Gavin announced the GrandNational Sweepstake result, with Patricia Owen havingwon. Constance Moore wondered whether at the Saturdaydinner a grace and toast was still necessary – thevehemence of the replies in the affirmative gave her heranswer. Margery Elliot asked whether Clive Anderson wasto be granted honorary membership, and was informedthat the Committee were waiting on whether Mastermindwould be recommissioned with him before considering thematter further.

There being no further business, the President closed themeeting at 12.30.

10 pass

Master Quiz andMagnum reportGavin Fuller on this year’s competitions

It was gratifying to see a slightincrease in the number of entriesfor our Master Quiz competition

this year, with 28 people enteringboth Part 1 and Part 2, and aanother three entering just onepart. Any entries, no matter howgood, are welcomed, especially asthis is done for the fun and extrachallenge, and – I must reiteratefor the benefit of newer members –is not compulsory for attendees ofour annual get-togethers.

This was my first year of settingthe questions for Part 2, and I amgrateful for the positive responsethat many of you recorded for myset; marking the answers alsoproved very enjoyable as well!Thank you to everybody who tookpart and kept the Master Quizflourishing.

Master Quiz

Congratulations to GeoffThomas, whose impressive 669topped the combined charts

and who came top in Part 2;Christopher Gonet, who toppedthe scores for Part 1 and wins thein absentia prize with a score of631; and Ken Emond, who wonPhillida’s sport prize and achievedhis best-ever placing of fourth.Also worthy of mention were JeanBurke, with two solid rounds totrail Geoff; David Cowan, whocame in the higher echelons forthe first time in sixth; Ann Kelly,whose placing of eleventh put herin the Magnum for the first time;Morag Knox Crawford and MargaScott, who so nearly pipped Annfor what would have their firsttimes there as well. The completeplacings are in the box to theright.

The Magnum final

As for the Magnum, it saw rathercontrasting fortunes for thenine participants, who perhaps

got something of a shock whenthey saw what I’d prepared forthem in my first effort at settingfor this! Geoff Thomas led the wayagain after the first round, scoring16, the other qualifiers beingPhilip Wharmby, second with 1;Ken Emond, third with 12; KeithScott, fourth with 10; PeterRichardson, fifth with 9; and AnnKelly, sixth with 5.

The semi-finals proved ratherclear-cut, with Geoff leading againon 16, Ken Emond close behind on14, and the rest rather distantlytrailing.

So both Geoff and Ken qualifiedfor their second final, Geoff havingwon in 1998, and Ken being therunner-up in 2001 (modestyforbids naming their opponent ineach case!). After a closely foughtfirst round, Geoff eased away onthe buzzer and consolidated hislead in the last round, eventuallywinning 42-21 to lift the trophyfor a second time. Congratulationsto him, commiserations to Ken forhis brave performance and welldone to the other sevenparticipants for their contribution.

Any feedback on the finalquestions from participants andspectators would be welcome formy preparations for next year’s set.

Round 1

1. Christopher Gonet 396 U/R

2. Geoff Thomas 341 U/R

3. David Cowan 320 U/R

4. Jean Burke 312 U/R

5. Norman Izzett 293 U/R

6. Keith Scott 291 U/R

7. Peter Richardson 279 U/R

8. Ann Kelly 278 U

9=. Ken Emond 260 U/R

Marga Scott 260 U/R

11. Anne Ashurst 253 U

12. Philip Wharmby 250 U

13. Morag Knox-Crawford 246 U

14. Ray Ward 240 U/R

15. Josephine Lawrey 233 U/R

16. Leslie Grout 230 U/R

17. Susan Leng 226 U/R

18= Stewart Cross 220 U

Ian Sewell 220 U/R

20. Patricia Cowley 217 U/R

21. Isabelle Heward 216 U/R

22. Peter Todd 210 U

23. Christopher Pelly 209 U/R

24. Eleanor Macnair 190 U/R

25. Wendy Forrester 155 U/R

26. Gordon Stuart 134 U/R

27. Barbara Anne Eddy 122 U

28. Michael Davison 116 U/R

29. Joseph Hand 102 U

Round 2

1. Geoff Thomas 328 U/R

2. Jean Burke 322 U/R

3. Ken Emond 316 U/R

4. Philip Wharmby 282 U/R

5. David Edwards 273 U/R

6. Norman Izzett 263 U/R

7. Leslie Grout 259 U/R

8. Peter Richardson 254 U/R

9. Keith Scott 247 U/R

10. Isabelle Heward 239 U/R

11. Christopher Gonet 235 U/R

12. Morag Knox-Crawford 232 U

13. Stewart Cross 226 U

14. David Cowan 225 U/R

15. Josephine Lawrey 222 U/R

16. Marga Scott 218 U/R

17. Ray Ward 205 U/R

18= Ann Kelly 204 U

Peter Todd 204 U

20. Eleanor Macnair 203 U/R

21. Patricia Cowley 193 U/R

22. Joseph Hand 179 U

23. Ian Sewell 170 U/R

24. Michael Davison 162 U/R

25. Gordon Stuart 144 U/R

26. Susan Leng 142 U/R

27. Wendy Forrester 140 U/R

28. Christopher Pelly 105 U

29. Barbara Anne Eddy 103 U

30. Margery Elliott 88 U

2002:2 11

Master Quiz Round 1 answersPhillida Grantham

Thank you to all who entered Round 1 of Master Quiz 2002

and set an impressively high standard; only one question –

number 58 – defeated every one. Congratulations to Ken

Emond with his comprehensive knowledge of all things

sporting and to Chris Gonet who submitted the best in

absentia entry. They have already received their prizes.

1. Geoff Hurst. (now Sir Geoff Hurst)2. Michael Owen.3. Devon (and Dorset).4. A sun cover for a military cap with a flap to protect

the back of the neck.5. “…and as cooks go, she went”. (Saki)6. Paul Allen.7. University College.8. Multi-Purpose Vehicle.9. Spa.10. Rick Stein.11. The Pharos of Alexandria.12. 1471.13. Hot rum and egg, spiced and sweetened.14. Arthritics.15. A prehistoric giant sloth.16. Manchester United.17. John Ashcroft.18. New Mexico.19. From the pointless activity of making prisoners

exercise against a crank, screwed up ever tighter bythe warders.

20. It features a dog called Crab.21. Mixed oxide.22. (b) a dog.23. Horse racing.24. Judith Keppel.25. Poker.26. The Honours of Scotland.27. It was shared by two winners: Barbra Streisand and

Katherine Hepburn. (Oscars are dated by the year ofpresentation, not by the year of the film.)

28. Grantham. (where else?!)29. Near Johannesburg, South Africa.30. A swastika.31. The Galapagos Islands.32. Lady Dorothy Macmillan.33. Mrs. Gaskell. (Cleghorn is spelt without an ‘e’)34. National Institute for Clinical Excellence.35. Tam Dalyell.36. Turkish.37. Walt Whitman.38. Italy.39. A rubric.40. The dragonfly.41. A balloon.42. A parish church.43. Kappa.44. Clarinet.45. Aberdeen (Pittodrie).46. Beards are harder to forge.47. Ecuador.

48. A Dunelmian.49. Body lice.50. 8.51. The Children’s Zoo in Regent’s Park.52. Bill Wyman.53. (a) Malta.54. François Rabelais.55. The White Star.56. The starling.57. Beer mats.58. The Channel Islands – Jersey, Guernsey and

Alderney.59. Small.60. Rumania.61. Baseball.62. It swims and has different coloured eyes, usually one

blue, one yellow.63. The harpsichord.64. The surname Grainger.65. The run-rate required by the side batting second in a

rain-interrupted one-day match.66. Stanley Holloway.67. A double eagle.68. Gentleman’s Relish (sorry about the typing error — it

should have been ‘patum’).69. (a) asparagus.70. The Bank of England.71. Lewes.72. Buenos Aires.73. Easter Island.74. Pool.75. Montaigne.76. Glasgow, because of the huge sugar imports required

for its confectionery industry.77. Warrington.78. Methane (also nitrogen).79. Amsterdam 1928.80. Emery.81. Badminton.82. Adam Hart-Davis.83. Malta.84. Optical character recognition.85. A film that appears to be a fictional work but is in

fact based on a true story and real people.86. William Hogarth.87. Cricket.88. The flute (The Magic Flute).89. Railway engineer.90. They were all the children of blacksmiths.91. pecially ressed merican eat.92. The Football Association.93. Spotted Dick is to become Spotted Richard.94. Slovenia.95. Richard Caborn.96. Cotton Traders.97. American Football.98. Kelvin.99. Volley ball.100. Julius Caesar.

12 pass

Getting wiredLance Haward responds to your editor’s “Forward pass” (last issue)

Your hymn to the Internettroubles me shallowly, withMarshall McLuhan’s pertinent

warning in mind. (Two days ago, Istood in front of a hotel check-outin Transylvania for five minuteswhile the presumably educatedreceptionist allowed hercash-register to add up twicetwenty-six plus thirty-four – andwould seemingly have believed it ifthe machine had advised her “42”.The consequences of DouglasAdams’ Deep Thought are no joke,believe me.)

Reverting to information storageand retrieval, the point is thatwhat is “out there … on the Web”is more instantly accessible, ninetimes out of ten, right inmy (and I dare say, likewise,Gerald’s) library.

But there’s evidently a growingclass of people that not only livesin cyber-space as opposed to thereal world, but also suffers fromthe hallucination that cyber-space

the real world.

Even in those who’re not quitesuch tertiary cases, thesecondary delusion is that

of the real world’s traffic actuallytakes place in cyber-space. Thusthe fact that you were able to pulla picture of Toff’s off the Internetto illustrate my last piece (that is, Iassume that you didn’t send Sarahall the way up to the Hill qua staffphotographer) demonstrates,among other curious phenomena,that the proprietors of Toff’sclearly think it worth their whileto hawk their very commonplacewares through these aetherialcorridors of silical power.

Which argues that they have avision of the cod-starving,somewhere down in Camberwell,

first consulting their lap-tops, thengrabbing a taxi, with theinjunction “Muswell Hill – and anextra tenner if you can make itinside the hour!”

I have to say that this strikes me asan unreal view not only of humanappetite but also of the actual castof the Net. Aside from anythingelse, and contrary to what theafficionadoes would have youbelieve, it’s still only a very tinyfragment of the human populationthat has access. And thoughmay consider this the mostinfluential fragment, the averagestarving Eritrean (cod orotherwise), whose opinion is everybit as worthwhile as theirs or yoursor mine, may be tempted todisagree.

To answer your puzzlement, the

of filling the mind withthe trivial or less than trivial is

precisely to have the mind full – orat least half-full (this is one drivewithout shortage of byte space,that stands in no need of regulardefragmentation). Similarly, mywife throws flour, milk and eggsinto a basin and within tenseconds, by means of the electricblender, produces batter. I do thesame job with a fork in tenminutes. She thinks I’m nuts. Shecould, in other aspects, be right,but in this, why do I do it? For thepleasure of doing it.

This false conundrum (Whybother?) is analogous to the oldred herring as to the purpose inpainting like Pieter de Hooch.Since the arrival of the camera,says the seduced and less thananalytical mind, thedeconstruction of nature is theonly legitimate path for art,because that’s the only mode inwhich (so far!) the technology

can’t match the humanimagination.

That technology may be able to doin a blink what once requiredunassisted genius to do is quiteunimportant. If, in the human, itstill takes genius to do somethingfor which this electric Jeeves willcourteously allow humans tobecome redundant by taking it offtheir hands, then it remains aworthwhile display of humangenius to switch off the machineand do it. What would yoube occupied with – EastEnders?Well, all right, at least EastEnderswould allow you to appreciate thebrilliance of Alistair McGowanmore fully.

Iextend McLuhan’s warning, bypointing out not only thepractical, but also the spiritual,

danger inherent in the prevalenttechnolatry.

They whose obsequious humilitytoward the beast of burden takesthe shape of supposing it anomniscient super-species and thenext inheritor of the world (Oh,yes, there are!) have wholly failedto recognize that great OldTestament truth, man made inGod’s Image.

They declare that man is not onlyinferior to a good

percentage of this planet’s species(true enough) but also, at last,redundant as creature,and thus, seen all round, vergingon obsolescence. A creature thatcan, so the hymn goes, wrestleneither with lions nor Deeper Bluewith any such hope as wouldjustify his promoter’s crossing thethreshold of Ladbrokes.

This is to be dazzled byspecialization, to the point ofblindness.

2002:2 13

So humans cannot optimisticallywrestle with lions? Nor, cometo that, can computers – any

more than your average lion cancome up with the cube root of912,673 in half a second flat.

Only man can not only, howeverforlornly, wrestle with lions andplay chess with computers (givingat least one of them some sort ofsatisfaction, or at leastnourishment) but also kick the hellout of a defaulting computer andget at “97” while Leo Insapiens isstill picking the crumbs from histeeth; and furthermore whistle,trampoline, play billiards, makecloisonné, watch Mastermind with adegree of comprehension orCrossroads with none, catchbutterflies or cramp (or both atonce); hold a seminar on Kant, awinning hand (or onecomplaisant-by-moonlight), thepass at Thermopylae and hisliquor, be Michael Owen (in fact orfantasy), balance empty bottlesand juggle empty balances,perform (or compose) Bach’sDouble Violin Concerto, knock offa brace of sonnets or pheasants ora dozen coconuts, or take time offto invent computers (had lions notbeen invented, them as well). Andalso, once in an epoch, come upwith a Samson who take onthe lion at better than evenmoney.

There is only one activity we mayidentify within the limits of theknown universe that human

beings have not yet learned tomaster, and that is golf. Whenthey build a computer that canplay golf to a lower handicap thana three-year-old lion, I’ll join inthe hymn along with all the rest.Until then, man’s particularsuperiority is that he is the only

species that can communicate,after their methods, with bothcomputers and lions. He is thesublime jack of all trades,marvellous master of some. SiliconMan’s worship of the electricbrute, like that of the Golden Calf,is premature by a few millionyears.

As we turn this beautifulthought over like a diamond toadmire its facets, we discover

that humans are – surprise,surprise – better than computers inalmost all respects. They are morefriendly – less boring –

better conversationalists –with a few notable exceptions (the

people, that is, not the computers)equipped with a higher moralsense – and the hell of a lot moreexciting to go to bed with. (Again,with a few notable, though notnecessarily the same, exceptions.)They also cook a whole better classof scrambled eggs (though I’ll betthe Japanese are working on it).

So watch this tendency to getwired unless you want to endup as Petroushka. Not being

Luddite, but putting thesethoughts into a pyrotechnicsplutter of Century Schoolbookand Garamond for you is about asfar as this cyber-sceptic is preparedto go.

14 pass

Mugnum 2002 questions13: (Margery Elliott) What single English word connects

the names of the state capitals of Bavaria and Iowa?20: (Patricia Owen) Glasgow – what novelist of this name

died in 1940? Identify by EITHER the title of onenovel or first name(s).

21: (Sheila Ramsden) Which bird’s Latin name is Pica Pica?22: (Peter Richardson) J. K. Rowling’s fully qualified

wizards can move instantly from place to placewithout using their broomsticks. What do they callthis technique?

61: (Pauline Wells) What is a carucate?89: (Eleanor MacNair) What connects a salmon, a ring

and a tree?145: (Ray Ward) What is the unenviable distinction of

Hamida Djandoubi?253: (Christopher Pelly) Who was the James Bond after

whom Ian Fleming named his creation?275: (Tony Dart) When the famous Glasgow District

Subway opened in 1896, only two other cities (bothcapitals) had true underground railway systems. Onewas London, what was the other?

280: (Leslie Grout) Apart from Elizabeth II, which Britishsovereigns have reigned for 50 years or more?

286: (Craig Scott) King Rædwald of East Anglia was one ofthe seven men ranked as a Bretwalda in Anglo-SaxonEngland. What, however, is his main claim to fame?

287: (Phillida Grantham) Which member of the cast ofDad’s Army served in the Home Guard during WWII?

306: (Morag Knox-Crawford) What would you do with aVTT; and what is it?

307: (Christopher Hughes) Originally played by RichardBriers and Ronnie Barker, what are the names of thetwo critics in Stoppard’s The Real Inspector Hound?

321: (Isabelle Heward) On television, who has recentlymet Keith Harris (and Orville), Chris Eubank andAnn Widdecombe?

337: (Rachel Leonard) What connects a melancholy dogwhich was part of an alliterative trio, a criminal catwhose centre of operations was Victoria Grove andthe city of Glasgow?

342: (Michael Davison) A converted Glasgow tramshedwas in 1988 the setting for a nine-hour productionby Peter Brook which The Sunday Times called “thetheatrical event of the century”. What was the nameof the play?

349: (Norman Izzett) Which Scottish city is “The DearGreen Place”?

373: (John Burke) Which whisky distillery once had a catholding the world record for catching mice – 27,890?

412: (Albert Bertin) Relative to the large felines, what dothe years 1940, 1950 and 1960 represent?

434: (Yvonne Weir) Which saint reported that one of hismonks had found a royal ring in a fish he had caught?

443: (Ann Kelly) Which annual international sportingevent began life as a one-off fundraiser for repairs toa broken pony roller?

457: (Peter Chitty) What is the name of the Americanenclave on Cuba?

473: (Keith Scott) Which future British Prime Minister hadan illegitimate daughter by Georgiana, Duchess ofDevonshire?

475: (Stewart Cross) Which Southeast London locationlinks Jimi Hendrix, Humphrey Lyttleton andmushroom farming!?

477: (Paul Henderson) From A to Zotamorf (published in1991) is a dictionary of what?

478: (Jean Burke) Who was described as “The colour of amouse with a kindly eye and a determinedunder-jaw”, and in what book did she appear?

526: (Wendy Forrester) This school is “Poudlard” inFrench. What is it in English?

532: (Christine Moorcroft) What is the title of the balletby Gillian Lynne (music by Carl Davis) whichcommemorated the centenary of L.S. Lowry’s birth?

549: (Philip Wharmby) What is a Glasgow kiss?554: (Mary Gibson) What was the forename and

occupation of the Hunter of the Hunterian Museumin Glasgow University?

579: (Anne Miller) What was first mooted in 1804 andformally opened in 1994?

642: (Arfor Wyn Hughes) What curious fact connects thenames of the 1994 and 1997 winners of the NobelPrize for Literature?

657: (Indrani Hettiaratchi) Which country once had aborder with Iran but is now 500 miles away?

672: (Patricia Cowley) Whose autobiography was calledMemory Hold-The-Door?

692: (Peter Todd) What was the name of Gustavus IIAdolphus’ great warship which sank in StockholmHarbour on its maiden voyage in 1628?

696: (Ken Emond) Which European football club has wonthe most domestic league championships?

729: (Gordon Stuart) Which Glasgow bridge was designedby the son of a Russian Prime Minister?

731: (Gavin Fuller) There used to be 323 of these inGlasgow, painted red. There are now just a handful,painted blue, thereby matching the most famous oftheir kind, albeit one known in a totally differentcontext. To what am I referring?

753: (Chris Moore) Apart from George W Bush, who wasthe only other U.S. president whose father hadpreviously occupied the post?

766: (Geoff Thomas) When completed in 1900, this 567fttower was the tallest structure in Britain. In whichseaside town was it?

819: (Melvyn Kinsey) Who was the first president born inthe U.S. after the Declaration of Independence?

824: (Sonia Anderson) Where in a library would you findHoward Inglethorp, Tom Tytler & Edward Erskine?

825: (Robert Jones) Who said “Solomon, I havevanquished thee!”?

849: (Constance Moore) Complete the quartet: Samhain,Imbolc, Beltain & …?

866: (Leo Stevenson) The 16thC. German artist LucasCranach the Elder is best known for painting severalportraits of a well-known and contentious man. Whowas this?

869: (Susan Leng) The exiled Russian pianist andconductor Vladimir Ashkenazy took which country’snationality in 1972?

877: (Timothy Robey) Why is 28 a perfect number?883: (Anne Ashurst) Who was known as The Teflon Don?899: (Marga Scott) What is the only independent country

outside Europe where Dutch is an official language?

2002:2 15

How to win a quiz nightAdvice from Guy Browning

Quiz nights are a way of paying and displayingyour complete ignorance. For all questions thereare three possible answers: sad shaking of head

with, ”No, it’s gone, I’m afraid”; confident and loudresponse of first thing that comes into your headfollowed by look of mild surprise when you’re amillion miles off; head in hands and repeatedobscenities as if your stupidity has suddenly becomepainful.

Be careful when you’re choosing the name of yourquiz team. Calling yourself the Intellectualsguarantees being knocked out in the first round bythe Pudding Heads. In a close-fought match it willalways seem that you’re getting questions like, “Whatis the chemical equation for photosynthesis?” whileyour opponents are asked, “Did you drive here?”

There are two types of quizmaster. There is theamateur who reads questions and answers from abook. It’s easy to get confused this way, and at

critical moments they’ll tell you that the secondperson on the moon was Marie Antoinette. If youargue, they’ll deduct 15 points for dissent. Other“professional” quizmasters spend lifetimes compilingbooks of questions. Every time they find themselvessaying, “I didn’t know that” they write it down, on

the basis that if they don’t know it no one else will.When you’ve failed to get the answer “Bismarck”,they will add that the battleship had 15-inch guns, ina tone that implies that this, too, is commonknowledge.

It’s easy to shout out answers when you’re watchingTV, but it’s much harder to do it in front of strangers.That’s why you’ll suddenly find you’ve no idea whothe reigning monarch is. Once you’ve had a fewdrinks, not only will you not know the answer to thequestion, you won’t even understand the question.The Pudding Heads will all be sipping shandies.

Getting a question right on quiz night is one of thepurest pleasures of modern living. The feeling ofjoy spreads through your entire being half way

through the question as you realise that not only doyou understand it but you know the completeanswer. If the quizmaster tells you you’re wrong, youwill experience one of the most painful humiliationsin modern life. That’s why you should never believepeople who tell you that pub quizzes are just a bit offun. People who are there for fun get knocked out inthe first round. It’s also a fact that of fightsoutside pubs are quiz related.

Reprinted from Guardian Weekend, 6 April 2002

Ann(e)Timothy Robey

Where among his Jane and CatherinesDid an extra two fit in?One the fourth and one the second:Anne of Cleves and Anne Boleyn.

Anne decided that she’d marryAvon’s playful cygnet, Will –P’r’aps her father barred the weddingBut she Hath Her own Way still.

Robinson dismisses curtlyThose adjudged the Weakest LinkWith her tactful understandingAnd her terminating wink.

In that parsonage in Yorkshire,On a wuthering wildfell day,Anne, the bells of Haworth tolling,Perserveres with Agnes Grey.

Ashurst, Kelly, Fowler, Miller,Hegerty and Hartland-SwannJoin the other blackchair heroesSuch as Prowse and Nicholson.

Annes of Denmark and Green Gables,Mutter, Haydon, Bancroft, Todd,And, of course, there’s Mrs. Laurence –Though that sounds a trifle odd.

16 pass

Travels in the “realmsof gold” (and silver)From Valparaiso to Rio de Janeiro via a “peak in Darien” with Bernard Howell

Ido not remember exactly what it

was that initially inspired mylife-long interest in South

America. Perhaps it was not onesingle event, but an accumulationof different factors and influencesabsorbed in my formative years.

Amongst these, I do recall oneparticular geography lesson, in myearly years at secondary school, towhich I paid my usual scantattention. The subject, that day,was South America and while theteacher droned on about climateand vegetation and other suchuninteresting (to me) things, myeyes wandered, idly, to the schoolatlas which lay open before me ata map of the continent.

I remember being impressed by thebright and varying colours,

representing different features ofthe land, all of which contrastedvividly with the dark blue of thesurrounding oceans. Most of all Iwas enchanted by the romanticand exotic-sounding place nameswhich could be found on everypart of the map.

Of these, I was particularly takenwith Valparaiso and Rio deJaneiro. This latter was not

new to me; I had come across itsome years earlier when readingBilly Bunter in Brazil, a milestone inmy literary development and abook that left me with a genuinedesire to learn more of thatcountry (but not in schoolgeography lessons!). This, in itself,was unusual; after all, Billy Bunteramong the Cannibals had notinspired a similar interest in South

Sea Islands, nor had Billy Bunter atButlins sent me scurrying off toSkegness! In those days (early1960s) Rio de Janeiro was alwaysportrayed in films as a veryglamorous, exciting city. Muchlater, I learned of the squalidshanty towns and murdered streetchildren, and the image becametarnished. Of Valparaiso, I knewnothing other than the beauty ofits name, which, the geographyteacher told us, meant “Vale ofParadise”. This was almost as goodin English as it was in Spanish.

From an early age, then, a visit toSouth America – and in particularto Valparaiso and Rio de Janeiro –took its place on the list of things Iwanted to do at some vague pointin the future, “one day”, when Iwas in a position to do so.

SANTIAGO, AT THE FOOT OF THE ANDESFew cities rival Santiago in beauty of situation – at the foot of the snow-crowned Andes, encompassed by emerald-green fields. Thispicture was made from the summit of Santa Lucia, that unique hill-park in the center of the city, where Pedro de Valdivia, conqueror ofChile, who founded Santiago on February 12, 1541, set up his first camp. Santiago has a population of more than half a million.

2002:2 17

Money would not be a problembecause I had already decidedat this early age that I was

going to be rich and famous,though I cannot remember if I haddecided in which particular fieldthis was to be achieved.

I have referred to my interest inSouth America as “life-long” but aswith most interests it has waxedand waned over the years. I dorecall a visit to the already defunctLiverpool docks in the mid-1970sduring what must have been awaning phase. High up on the sideof one of the dockside buildings Isaw, in much faded paint, thelegend “Brazil and River Plate”.This must, at one time, have beenthe departure point for merchantvoyages to those destinations. Iexperienced a recurrence of thatyearning for the romantic andexotic which had inspired mychildhood and early youth.

In November 2001, a few weeksbefore my fiftieth birthday, Ifinally made it to South America

and I visited Valparaiso and Rio de

Janeiro – and much else, besides.Why had it taken me so long?Well, riches and fame have, alas,eluded me; whilst I have, in theintervening period, visited most ofthe places in Europe that were onthe same “wish list” and have eventravelled as far afield as China, thecost of touring South Americaalways seemed prohibitive. It wasmy impending fiftieth birthdaythat focused my mind. I decidedthat it was probably now or neverand, though still apprehensiveabout the cost, I threw caution tothe wind and booked a holiday. Itwas described as a tour of SouthAmerica but, in fact, only visitedthree countries; Chile, Argentinaand Brazil.

With the single exception ofthe city of Valparaiso, Chilehad never struck me as being

a particularly interesting country.On the map, it seems a long,narrow land, which, of course, itis. What I did not know – thoughperhaps I would have done had Ilistened to the geography teacher,all those years ago – was that

much of Chile’s northernextremity is comprised of the aridAtacama Desert and much of thesouth is bleak, rugged and barelyhabitable. In between these twoextremes, the majority of Chileanslive. It is here in the centre thatChilean wine, which in recentyears has achieved internationalacclaim, is produced.

Our main base was, of course,Santiago de Chile, a clean, pleasantcity which contains old butwell-maintained colonial buildingsalongside the usual modern officeblocks and shopping malls. Thereare tree-lined plazas with fountainsand equestrian statues oflong-dead heroes. Manymonuments of varying kinds arededicated to the man whom theChileans regard as their liberator,indeed the main avenue in the cityis called Avenida Libertador BernardoO’Higgins. I had come across hisname and learned something ofhis achievements in various booksI had read in the past,

Continued overleaf

VIEW OF SAN CRISTOBAL HILL AND THE ANDES FROM SANTA LUCIA, SANTIAGOFrom a summit in the center of the Chilean capital we look toward the Cerro San Cristobal, surmounted by a statue of the Virgin. TheHarvard College Observatory is situated on this hill. Beyond rise the Andes.

18 pass

Realms of gold (continued)

but even to me it seemed almostsurreal to find how often this Irishsurname was to be found on streetsigns, statues and buildings, in thisSpanish-speaking city on the otherside of the world. I cannot imaginehow it must have seemed to thoseof my fellow-travellers who hadnever heard of the great man.

My abiding memory of Santiago isthe view from San Cristobal hill.We had climbed this hill – orrather, our tour bus had done theclimbing – in order to see the largestatue of the ImmaculateConception, which stands at thetop, overlooking the city. It waspresented to Chile by the samefirm which presented the Statue ofLiberty to New York. From thisvantage point, a panoramic viewof the city presents itself.

Santiago is sited on a flat plain, atthe eastern edge of which theAndes seem to come from out ofnowhere to tower majestically overthe city. They are some miles away

and because of the slight haze, itwould have been possible to missthem altogether but for thesnow-capped peaks which wereclearly visible – as though floatingunsupported above the few wispsof cloud which adorned the skythat day. Every time I look at thephotographs I took of this view, itsurprises me just how dramatic aneffect this produces.

Our day trip to Valparaiso and thenearby resort of Viña del Mar was,to me, something of adisappointment, mainly becausewe did not spend enough time inthe former and too much time inthe latter. We did manage toglimpse, however briefly, a fewimportant landmarks as our tourbus drove through the city. Thesewere pointed out to us by ourChilean guide, Anna Maria.

In the early years of the 19th

century, Valparaiso had a largeBritish community and there aremany reminders of this today.

There is an imposing monumentto Lord Cochrane, the Britishnaval hero who founded andtrained the Chilean Navy after theNapoleonic wars. His daringexploits along the Pacific coastended Spanish naval dominance inthat area and enabled O’Higginsand San Martin (of whom moreanon) to defeat the Spanish onland and eject them from Chileand Peru.

There is a large memorial archwhich had been presented to thecity by the early 20th-centuryBritish community to celebrate thecentenary of Chile’s independence.This displays the names of manyofthe Britons who played aprominent role in the struggle forthat independence.

Though still an important navalbase, Valparaiso is a city whichhas had its day. Once, when the

only route for shipping to get fromthe Atlantic to the Pacific was viaCape Horn, Valparaiso was an

VALPARAISO FROM THE HARBORThe chief pacific port in South America rises like an amphitheatre from a crescent shore. It has a population of nearly 200,000. Extensiveport works are under construction to protect the waterfront from the inroads of the sea. Valparaiso is the western terminus of thetranscontinental railway, which extends 888 miles to Buenos Aires.

2002:2 19

essential port of call following thatperilous journey. Here ships couldrefit and re-provision in a shelterednatural harbour, with a bustlingmodern town to provide diversionfor the officers and men. Theopening of the Panama Canalsounded the death-knell forValparaiso and its decline is all tooevident today. Nevertheless, to me,it was a lifetime’s ambitionachieved and, though I cannotregard it as a great city, I still retainan affection for the place.

The trip to Valparaiso had alsogiven me my first sight of thePacific Ocean. Unlike “stoutCortez” and his men “Silent, upona peak in Darien”, I was expectingit to be there, so I did not have thesame sense of wonder – that camea few days later, in a place thatcould not have been moredifferent from Valparaiso. (I knowthat Keats had the wrongConquistador – it is the sense ofwonder that is important.)

It was time to leave Chile andhead for Argentina. In a sense,this was quite sad, because,

despite my earlier relativeindifference, I had come to likethis beautiful country and itsfriendly and welcoming people. (Ihave since learned that theChileans are known as the“English” of South America,because they are more polite andreserved than their neighbours.)We were to travel by road, over theAndes in our tour bus, to theArgentinian city of Mendoza.There is a fine road which, for themost part, takes the same routethat an earlier trans-Andeanrailway had done. I’m not surethat I had looked forward to thisjourney wholeheartedly, but in theevent, it turned out to be one ofthe highlights of the holiday. Theweather could not have beenbetter; the cloudless deep-blue skyboth illuminated and contrastedwonderfully with the snow-cappedpeaks. At each bend in the road(and there were many) there was adifferent spectacular view of the

Andes. We even saw two condors,which, according to Anna Maria,was a very rare sight on thisparticular journey. We passed closeto the peak of Aconcagua (whichapparently means “StoneSentinel”), the highest mountainin the three Americas and, at 6,960metres, the highest mountain inthe world outside the great rangesof Central Asia.

This area was also thesouthernmost part of the Incaempire and we stopped to admirethe so-called “Inca Bridge” (Puentedel Inca). This is a natural bridgeover a fast-flowing mountain river,at the side of which, the Incas,with their incredible ability atbuilding with stone, hadconstructed a small building –though for what purpose I do notrecall.

Most tours of South America flyover the Andes in their haste to getfrom one capital to the next. Iwould not have missed this roadcrossing for anything!

Mendoza, a small well-laid-outcity, is the capital ofArgentina’s wine industry.

Our Argentinian guide, Luis, toldus that his country’s wine wasevery bit as good as that of Chile,but grudgingly admitted thatChilean marketing had been moresuccessful abroad. We only spentone night in Mendoza, but thiswas sufficient to make anearly-evening visit to a veryimpressive monument to GeneralJosé de San Martin and his “Armyof the Andes”, which had beenformed and trained in Mendoza.This army and its general, we weretold, were responsible forliberating Argentina, Chile andPeru. I asked Luis, if this was thecase, why did the Chileans regardO’Higgins as their liberator. He didnot seem particularly interested inhistorical verification anddismissed this as national rivalry.He suggested that O’Higgins wasmerely one of San Martin’ssubordinates. (My subsequent

researches – albeit at a very basiclevel – suggest that neither theChilean or the Argentinian view isparticularly incorrect. CertainlyO’Higgins was amongst the firstleaders of the Chileanindependence movement andfollowing an earlier defeat inChile, he fled with the remnants ofhis army to join San Martin’sAndean army, at least until Chilewas liberated. He then became theDirector of the new republic.)

From Mendoza, we flew to Iguazu,in Argentina, then promptlycrossed the border to Iguaçu, inBrazil – well, not that promptly,actually. The sullen Argentinianborder guards seemed to bedeliberately slow in checking andstamping our passports. Thespelling of Iguazu/Iguaçu isirrelevant really, because the wordcomes from the language of theindigenous Guaraní Indians. Itmeans “big water”, or so we weretold by our third guide, a Brazilianwhom we knew as George – Isuspect that he thought we wouldbe unable to cope with thePortuguese equivalent. We stayedat the Hotel das Cataratas which isstate-owned and stands inside theIguaçu National Park, a few yardsaway from the Iguaçu Falls. TheIguaçu National Park exists notonly because of the Falls butbecause the area is also the homeof the jaguar, puma and otherjungle wildlife. The Falls are thosewhich can be seen in the film TheMission. I had seen this some yearsearlier but only vaguelyremembered it. I had read invarious holiday brochures that theIguaçu Falls were a spectacularsight, but nothing had preparedme adequately for my visit.

We had arrived in the lateafternoon and had had aquick look at the falls. George

had told us that, because of theangle of the sun, the best time totake photographs was earlymorning. So, next day, followingan early breakfast, I returned withmy camera.

Continued overleaf

20 pass

Realms of gold (continued)

After using half a roll of film onthings which immediately caughtmy eye, I put the camera away andthen just stood and wondered atthe sight and the sound of themost spectacular naturalphenomenon I have ever seen.

Whilst tour guides andreference books can give youthe vital statistics about

waterfalls (height, width, volumeof water etc. – George gave usplenty of these!) nothing comparesto actually seeing, and indeedexperiencing, the truly awesomeeffect oneself. Here, in the heart ofthe dense subtropical forest, theslow-flowing River Iguaçu, already4,000 metres wide, bends sharplyto the right and hurls itself incountless separate cataracts over atwo-and-a-half-mile-wide rim.

From my observation point, Icould look to the left, along theBrazilian side, and see a wideU-shaped bend in the rim. Thewater falls from all three sides ofthe “U”, mingling chaotically as it

falls, only partially obscured by theresultant spray. This is calledGarganta do Diabo (Devil’s Throat).

Directly before me, across the riveron the Argentinian side, were threeclosely adjacent cataracts whichmy Brazilian map names as TresMosqueteiros – I think I can guessthat one! Then, to the right, againacross the river, as far as the eyecould see, a seemingly endless lineof separate cataracts, both wideand narrow, eventuallydisappeared into the forest. It is amagnificent sight and anincredible experience and I cannotunderstand why it is not betterknown outside South America.

It did occur to me, as I stood andcontemplated the scene, with noone else in sight and practically noevidence that other humans hadever seen what I was now seeing,that the Falls had been inexistence, exactly as they aretoday, for millions of years beforemankind existed. This was a scenefrom the beginning of the world.

As I stood there, physically on ahillside in Brazil, spiritually I was“Silent, upon a peak in Darien”,transfixed with wonder.

Shortly after disporting itself inthis shamelessly exhibitionistmanner, the now-narrower butmuch-faster-flowing River Iguaçujoins with the River Paraná atBrazil’s and Argentina’s borderwith Paraguay and then continuesas the River Paraná.

If you have ever consideredvisiting Buenos Aires – and it iswell worth a visit – I recommendthat you do so in November. Thisis the only month in which thejacaranda trees can be seen in theirfull glory, or so we were told byour fourth guide, Carli. There aremany of these in the Plazas, alongthe avenues and in all the parks inwhich the city abounds. For thisone Spring month, their branchesare festooned with lilac-colouredfoliage which makes them standout radiantly from the green ofother trees.

THE SPECTACULAR SAN MARTIN SEMICIRCLE OF IGUAZUThe most comprehensive single view of this section of the falls is from the Brazilian side. To the right is Bossetti, one of the finest ofIguazu’s minor falls: at the left is the top of the principal San Martin fall, seen over San Martin Island; San Martin Rapids in the center.Iguazu lacks the power and volume of Niagara, but its exquisite tropical setting displays its diversity and beauty in greater advantage.

2002:2 21

Buenos Aires has been called the“Paris of South America”because of the very wide

avenues which are to be found inthe city centre. Apart from thisobvious physical similarity, BuenosAires is a very European city inmany ways. We were not therelong enough to form an intimateacquaintance with the city but itcertainly has a European feel to it.The contrast with Santiago isnoticeable, though I do notsuggest that this is to Santiago’sdetriment. Santiago has a greatdeal of individual character and isclearly a Latin-American city.Buenos Aires seems to aspire to bea world capital and, while thisnecessarily means a sacrifice of theindividuality which Santiagoretains, the results are nonethelessimpressive. One should notgeneralise, of course, especiallyafter so fleeting a visit, but it didseem to me that the people ofBuenos Aires have a sophisticationand chic – not unlike the Parisians– which I do not recall in Santiago.Comparisons are of course odiousand I liked both cities enormously,but for different reasons.

The main square in Buenos Aires isthe Plaza de Maya and a largeobelisk in its centre tells us thatMay 1810 is the month in whichArgentina declared itsindependence from Spain, at thattime distracted by Napoleon’sinvasion and the subsequentPeninsular war. The Plaza containsthe famous “Pink Palace” fromwhich Juan and Evita Perón wouldaddress their adoring public andwhere Madonna was filmedsinging that song! Across the Plazafrom the palace is the cathedral.This contains the mausoleum ofGeneral José de San Martin – he ofthe impressive monument inMendoza. He is clearly theArgentinian national hero, thoughhe died disillusioned, in exile, inBoulogne. The city has manystatues of him.

Buenos Aires is, amongst manyother things, the home of thetango, and no visit is completewithout attending a “TangoEvening”. This was scheduled forour second evening in the city. Onthe first evening, at Carli’srecommendation, I had dined at arestaurant called Los Immortales,as much out of curiosity to findout who the immortals were as tosatisfy the need to eat. It turnedout that these were the immortalsof the tango world, chief amongstwhom was Carlos Gardel. Theinterior decor of the restaurant wascomprised entirely of photographs,posters and other such ephemera,all of which seemed to date fromthe 1930s. Carlos Gardel wrote andsang tangos. Though he wasFrench by birth, he almostsingle-handedly transformed thisquintessentially Argentinian dancefrom a disreputable back streetentertainment to the poetic artform it has become today.

At the Tango Evening, as dinnerwas being served, extracts fromGardel’s films were being shownon a large screen on the stage.After dinner, the dancers andmusicians took the stage. A smallensemble (I only remember apiano, three violins and twobandoneones) provided, withimpeccable artistry, a constantflow of tango music, which neverbecame monotonous. The dancersprovided the visual spectacle,which was colourful, dramatic and,at times, highly erotic.

If I have a reservation about theworld of tango, it is that it seemsto be stuck in a time warp. CarlosGardel died, at the peak of hispowers, in an air crash in 1935. Itseemed – at least to this casualobserver – that the tango has notmoved on since. In theperformance which we saw, all thedancers were dressed in 1930sclothes, the men looking likeChicago gangsters of that period.

Continued overleaf

THE SMOKE AND THUNDER OF DEVIL’S THROAT CHASM : IGUAZUDown this deep, narrow canyon rushes the bulk of Iguazu’s waters. From the Argentineside is seen San Martin Island and Devil’s Throat Rapids in the center. On the left is theprecipitous bank of the Brazilian Iguazu, showing the Brazilian Falls, beginning withFloriano, largest of that group (left), and ending in the spray and mist of Union Fall, thegreatest of Iguazu’s cataracts, at the semicircular end of the chasm.

22 pass

Realms of gold (continued)

I know that, in recent years, thework of a more contemporarytango composer, Astor Piazzolla,has gained some recognition, atleast in the classical world, but Inever saw or heard any referenceto Piazzolla in Buenos Aires. Ibelieve – perhaps erroneously –that Gardel represents a golden ageof tango for which the natives ofBuenos Aires continue to yearn.

And so to Rio de Janeiro, ourfinal destination and perhapsthe place to which I had most

been looking forward. Rio deJaneiro is, of course, a notoriousmisnomer. Portuguese explorersarrived here in January (Janeiro)1500 and assumed from thetopographical features of thisharbour that it contained themouth of a great river, which theypromptly named the River ofJanuary before establishing itsexistence. The irony, of course, isthat there is no rio in Rio!

This city had been the capital ofBrazil until that was moved toBrasilia in the 20th century.

Consequently, Rio has the feel of acapital still. In 1808, whenNapoleon invaded Iberia, thePortuguese king fled with his courtto Rio de Janeiro, which became,in effect, the capital of thePortuguese empire. The king’spalace can be seen today. Brazilachieved its independence fromPortugal much more easily thanhad Chile from the Spanish but,once again, this was due in nosmall measure to Lord Cochrane,who, on his way home from Chile,agreed to rid the Atlantic seaboardof the Portuguese Navy as he hadrid the Pacific coast of the Spanish.

Brazil achieved its independencefrom Portugal much more easilythan had Chile from the Spanishbut, once again, this was due in nosmall measure to Lord Cochrane,who, on his way home from Chile,agreed to rid the Atlantic seaboardof the Portuguese Navy as he hadrid the Pacific coast of the Spanish.

Our hotel was called the MerlinCopacabana, and its various suitesand restaurants were named after

characters in the Arthurian legend.This was almost as bizarre as seeingthe name O’Higgins almosteverywhere in Santiago. Mynatural inclination is to associateanything Arthurian with ourrain-drenched, wind-swept,fog-bound little island. This hotelwas a five-minute walk fromCopacabana beach, one of themost famous and glamoroustropical beaches in the world! Thebeach may be glamorous but thearea of Copacabana has an air ofbeing slightly rundown and not asprosperous as perhaps it had oncebeen. Ipanema is a much moreupmarket area, less crowded andwith classier shops.

On our first morning in Rio, wemade the obligatory visit toCorcovado (the “hunchback”), thepeak upon which the famousstatue of Christ the Redeemerstands. The ascent is made, inabout twenty minutes, by electrictrain. After leaving the train at thetop of the mountain, there are 200steps to climb to get to the base ofthe statue and to see the view over

COPACABANA, ONE OF THE ATLANTIC BEACHES, A SUBURB OF RIO DE JANEIROThe lofty peak is Sugar Loaf (Pão d’Assucar) which guards the entrance to the bay. There are three other ocean beaches adjoiningCopacabana. Paralleling the Avenida Atlantica, which connects the ocean beaches, is a wide black-and-white mosaic pavement in mostapproved Lisbon style.

2002:1 23

the city and the harbour. It was,unfortunately, rather overcast thatday. The view was still stunningbut a little sunshine would haveimproved it immeasurably.

This is the famous view which isalways shown on postcards and inholiday brochures. Lookingstraight out in the direction inwhich the statue faces is the areaof Botafogo, with the Sugar Loafmountain being the mostconspicuous landmark. To theright, it is just possible to see thebeaches of Copacabana andIpanema. It was a view I haddreamed of seeing for many yearsand despite the less than perfectweather, it did not disappoint.

The next morning, a free day, Itook the metro, or subway, fromCopacabana to Cinelandia. This isa square in the city centre, sonamed because it used to containmany cinemas. There are nonethere now. From here, I couldstroll around downtown Rio atleisure. Our guide, Michael, hadrecommended a walk around thepedestrian Carioca area.Apparently, the natives of Rio deJaneiro refer to themselves asCariocas, but I never found outwhy. I took the subway back toCopacabana, where the fresh seabreeze revived me immediatelyupon leaving the station.LikeSantiago, Rio has colonialbuildings alongside more modemedifices. At one time, the oldbuildings were tom down to makeway for the new. Nowadays, inorder to preserve some of thecharacter of the old city, it isforbidden to destroy the oldcolonial buildings.

I enjoyed my walk around the citycentre but, as Rio is just within thetropics, the heat and especially the

humidity finally defeated me. Itdid seem strange to seeshopkeepers putting up theirChristmas decorations while I wassweltering in the sunshine.

Our last day in Rio began with atrip to the top of the Sugar Loafmountain. This is done by cablecar in two stages. Once we reachedthe top – and completely withoutwarning – clouds started coming infrom the sea, many of which werebelow us. In between clouds, therewere some marvellous views to behad. Here we could look back tosee the Christ statue atopCorcovado, guarding theinhabitants of the wonderful citybelow. There were also stunningaerial views of Copacabana andBotafogo.

Is Rio de Janeiro the exciting,glamorous city that I expected it tobe? I’m not sure that it is quitewhat I had expected – but then, Ihave found that things rarely are!It is, however, a very beautiful citywith many breathtaking sights.The shanty towns have alldisappeared to be replaced bypurpose-built favellas for thepoorer citizens. These are bothmore aesthetically pleasing andapparently more safe for tourists tovisit. Of course it is impossible toget to know a city in a few days,one can only gain an impression. Iliked Rio, probably more than Ihad liked Santiago and BuenosAires, perhaps because, likeValparaiso, it was a lifetime’sambition achieved. Now it wastime to go home.

Though our journey had coveredvast distances and affordedsome wonderful sights and

experiences, I am aware that wehardly scratched the surface ofSouth America. Chile cannot be

judged by Santiago, or Argentinaby Buenos Aires, any more thanthe UK can be judged by London.This trip was never meant to beanything more than a “taster” ofonly a small part of a largecontinent. Primarily, of course, itwas a holiday. We had only metthe sort of people tourists meetand had only come into contactwith those aspects of nativeculture which are promoted for theconsumption of tourists.Nevetheless it was a wonderfulholiday and a marvellousexperience. I have returned withsome excellent photographs andsome golden memories. Though Ihad set off to see Valparaiso andRio de Janeiro, it is perhaps thememories of crossing the Andesand of being overawed by theIguaçu Falls which I treasure most.

So, what now? Do I simply tickSouth America off the “wish list”and move on to the next item?Has my life-long fascination withthe continent ended with my visit?No. If anything, it has stimulatedfurther interest. Since returning Ihave re-read what little literature Ihave on South American history,in particular the liberation period –in order to understand theO’Higgins/San Martin connection;I have read a biography of LordCochrane and was amazed at theincidents in his life which turn upin fictionalised form in PatrickO’Brian’s Jack Aubrey novels – andnot just the Chilean episodes; Ihave renewed and extended myacquaintance with the music ofVilla-Lobos and I have bought CDsof tangos by Carlos Gardel andsongs by Antonio Carlos Jobim(composer of The Girl fromIpanema, Desafinado, etc.) – still, Iam eager for more! I am seriouslyconsidering a visit to Peru andBolivia in 2003.

Photographs and captions reprinted from National Geographic, September 1920, September 1922, July 1926

Membership mattersPeter Chitty, Membership Secretary

Ienjoyed the gathering in Glasgow, it was very nice to see old friends again, and hear about who had

appeared on this quiz or that quiz and especially who had won. I was disappointed that none of the newmembers from Discovery Mastermind attended. Perhaps the timing was inconvenient. Hopefully I will see

some of you in Amsterdam next year for our own Silver Jubilee.

Peter Richardson e-mailed me regarding the death of Colin Pilkington (690) in April. Peter tells me that hewas a very quiet man who hated fuss. I had the pleasure of meeting him a couple of times and found him tobe a very pleasant man to talk to.

Peter was very interested in his friend's new laptop

Writers Quiz report

Ihad quite a satisfying response,with eight entries. It was the firsttime anybody has achieved 100%

success in one of my A-Z quizzes.Furthermore, Rachel Leonard’sperfect entry was the first one Ireceived – her impressive effortwins the Book Token.

Full results and solution52 Rachael Leonard50 W.J.P. Hammill-Keays50 Timothy Robey50 Jim Prendergast49 Lady Bramall48 Raymond Kahn47 Janet French41 Patricia Cowley

Initial Letters Last LettersAdams MarkandayABarnes WebBCowper BelloCDennis InchbalDEdgeworth PopplEFolengo LagerlöFGreen HornunGHughes SmitHIsherwood DisraelIJerome ZmaJKavanagh PasternaKLamb VidaLMoore BeerbohMNewman BehNOuida PuzOPriestley KirkuPQuiller-Couch GracQRichardson MilleRSoyinka RoSTennyson LockharTUpdike ThoreaUValéry LermontoVWollstonecraft BelloWXenophon KnoXYeats ThackeraYZelide SienkiewicZ

Artists QuizBrian Bovington is back with a new quiz and the resultsof the last one

Herewith my latest A-Z quiz, onthe subject of artists. Asusual,there are two lists of

works. In the first list, each work ispreceded by the letter of theartist’s surname. In the second list,each work is preceded by theletter of the artist’s surname. Ineach case I have given the artist’syear and nationality of birth. Onlythe surnames are needed.

For the sender of the best entryopened after 15 July, I will award a£10 Book Token. As usual, shouldtwo or more entries tie for thehighest score, the first entryopened after the closing date willbe adjudged the winner.

First lettersA. Dutch, 1921, The HorsemanB. Irish, 1909, Pope With Fan

CanopyC. French, 1819, The Burial At

OrnansD. French, 1877, Ascot 1933E. Dutch, 1902, Ascending And

DescendingF. German, 1922, Interior In

PaddingtonG. French, 1848, Women Of TahitiH. Austrian, 1928, The Court Of

SulaimanI. French, 1780, La SourceJ. Welsh, 1878, Portrait Of Miss Eve

KirkK. Russian, 1866, Sky BlueL. Dutch, 1609, The Lute-Playing

FoolM. English, 1829, Autumn LeavesN. English, 1899, Menin RoadO. Cornish, 1761, Juliet In The

GardenP. Spanish, 1881, GuernicaQ. American, 1801, Money DiggersR. English, 1728, Master Henry

HoareS. Austrian, 1890, Knabe In

MatrosenanzugT. French, 1864, La ToiletteU. Florentine, 1397, The Battle Of

San RomanoV. Spanish, 1599, Philip IV When

YoungW. French, 1684, The Embarkation

For Cythera

X. Dutch, 1736, Vase Of Fruit And AVine Branch

Y. Irish, 1870, GriefZ. German, 1733, The Bradshaw

Family

Last lettersa. Spanish, 1746, Majas At A Balconyb. British, 1825, Mills At Dordrechtc. French, 1863, Paris, La Citéd. English, 1903, Somerset

Maughame. English, 1776, The Cornfieldf. Russian, 1906, H.S.T.

Compositiong. French, 1891, Les Sablettesh. American, 1917, Christina’s

Worldi. Spanish, 1904, The Persistence Of

Memoryj. Italian, 1924, Piccolok. American, 1912, Guardians Of

The Secretl. American, 1928, Chelsea Girlsm. Dutch, 1597, Interior Of The

Grote Kerk at Haarlemn. French, 1594, The Adoration Of

The Golden Calfo. Japanese, 1753, Ohisap. Dutch, 1620, River Scene With A

View Of Dordrechtq. Flemish, 1763, Portrait Of Van

Gierdergomr. English, 1775, Battle Of Trafalgars. Dutch, 1634, The Idle Servantt. French, 1832, Olympiau. French, 1844, The Equatorial

Junglev. Russian, 1896, The Young

Apprenticew. German, 1764, Hopex. English, 1783, The Vale Of Clwydy. English, 1887, Man Lying On A

Wallz. German, 1893, Kristallnacht