Partner Abuse Intervention

Crossroads Counseling of Chicago 1

Partner Abuse Intervention

Rob Johnson, MA, LCPC27 N Wacker Drive, #245Chicago, IL 60606

312-316-3366

rjohnson@crossroadscounselingchicago.comwww.crossroadscounselingchicago.com


Self Introduction

• Rob Johnson, MA, LCPC– 30 year career in computer technology• IBM, Chicago Mercantile Exchange

– 20 years of experience working with men in the area of transformation and personal growth

– Masters in Professional Counseling, 2006– Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Illinois– Specialize in Partner Abuse Intervention and

Personal Leadership Development


Definitions

• Domestic – Of the home or family

• Violence– Any attempt that I make to force my will on you– Takes many forms

• Partner– Anyone that I have been intimate (sexual) with– Excludes parents, siblings, children, roommates, …


The Duluth Model• Partner abuse is a pattern of actions used to intentionally

control or dominate an intimate partner (cycle of violence) • The victim is not to blame• Offenders are held accountable• The voices of the victims take priority• Intervention programs are offered to offenders• Treatment comprises an integrated response among

legislative, judicial, criminal and civil justice agencies, health care, community members, victims, etc.

• Societal conditions that support men’s use of tactics of power and control over women must change


Cycle of Violence1. Seduction/Honeymoon2. Disenchantment 3. Discord

4. Violent break (Police intervention)

5. False apology

6. Return to step 1

• You’re the one• You’re not the one• Escalating arguments,

verbal/emotional abuse• Physical/sexual abuse,

property destruction• Reset to before violence,

forget this ever happened


Goals of Intervention

• Stop the violence– Not couple’s or pastoral counseling

• Help offenders become conscious of how they abuse in intimate relationships

• Help offenders learn and adopt alternatives to coercive, controlling, and violent behavior in intimate relationships

• Help to create a culture of deterrence


Intervention Philosophy

• Guiding Principles– Violence is a learned behavior and therefore it can be

“unlearned”– Alternative, non-violent behaviors can be learned

• Cognitive-Behavioral Training – Cognitive: I become conscious of how I am violent– Behavioral: I learn non-violent and respectful ways to get

my needs met• Intervention– A transformational experience is necessary


Cognitive: Violence Beliefs

• We are not equal• You must respect me• I decide what is right, what is best for you (the

children, etc.)• I can do whatever I please and you have no

right to object• I am justified in using Power and Control over

you to get my way



Cognitive: Equality Beliefs

• We are equal in all ways– I have empathy for you

• I respect you and I respect myself• I do not decide what is right for you• How I live my life impacts you• The use of Power and Control to get my way is

abuse



Behavioral: Words vs. Actions

• My behavior, not my words, reveal my true beliefs– My boundaries are established to control you

I “defend” myself by overpowering you– I have no empathy for you– I know best how to parent "my" children– I cannot let you get away with "disrespecting" me– If you don't see things my way, you are "crazy“– I cannot allow you to have your way because you

would become "spoiled".


Initial View of the World

• Male Privilege– Role model definitions– Social support for male privilege– The great male conspiracy

• Defense Mechanisms– Minimize, Deny, Blame, Deflect, etc.

• The Drama Triangle– Stephen Karpman, 1967 paper– Transaction Analysis (Eric Berne)

• The Games People Play


You are the cause of my problems: The solution to my problem is for you to change. I am, therefore, justified in forcing my will on you.


Forms of Masculinity

• Immature– Life-taking– Violent, destructive– Exploitative, selfish, uncaring

• Mature– Life-giving– Protective, constructive– Generative, blessing


Intervention: A Rite of Passage

• InitiationDescent

Ordeal

Return

• I leave my comfort zone. I am no longer in control of my life.

• I am required to look deep within myself and take responsibility for how I live my life (face the dragon)

• I return to my world but I have been transformed by my experience from immature to mature masculinity.


Ordeal: Facing the Dragon

• Classroom training is insufficient to bring about transformation

• The consequences of not facing the dragon must be sufficiently unpleasant in order for transformation to occur


The Crucible

• Mandatory participation in intervention programs is essential– Transformation/Change

only occurs when enough heat can be applied

– A “pot” is necessary• Accountability provides

the heat


Accountability

• Taking responsibility for my actions and all consequences, intended or not– Those who do not express their accountability are

not accepted into the program during intake– Those who later deny responsibility, advocate

violence, or re-offend are discharged from the program

• A possible consequence of not being accepted or of being discharged is incarceration


Program Accountability

• Take full responsibility for abuse• Understand Power and Control• Understand Equality• Demonstrate understanding through group

participation• Use respectful language in referring to women• Pay fees, attend regularly, complete written

assignments successfully


Cycle of Healing

1. Breaking through defense mechanisms– Minimize, deny, blame, deflect, etc.

2. Accepting accountability– Facing shame, embracing reality

3. Willingness to change– Claiming power over myself to change– The Drama-less Triangle

4. Stumbling (return to step 1, 2)5. Bearing witness/advocating for change


I take responsibility for my own problems: The solution to my problem is for me to change. I have no need to force my will on you.


Desired Outcome

• Intimate Partnerships based on– Equality– Mutual Respect– Empathy– Fairness

• Advocates for change– Pass the gift forward

Documents

Partner Abuse Intervention