Act 2, Scene 1Setting: Turnblad Residence

Newscaster (on TV): A massive manhunt is underway for Miss Turnblad who bludgeoned Sergeant Mike Morris with a crowbar, shattering his jaw. Sergeant Morris is in critical condition.Edna: They're talking about our baby, Wilbur.Wilbur: They're just telling lies.

*Link knocks on the Turnblads’ door, startling Edna*Edna: Is that you, Tracy?

*Edna opens the door and sees Link*Edna: Oh, Link. I thought you'd be Tracy.Link: Uh, no. L-I was just at home, uh... practicing my new twist on the twist...and I overheard it on the news. I can't believe Tracy savagely bludgeoned the police officer. That's just not like her.Edna: Well, it's not true, I was there. He didn't even bleed.Link: I should have been there, beside her. I... I-I can't sleep, I can't eat.Edna: You can't eat? Oh no no no. Well, come on in and worry with us. I’ll make you some pork.

Act 2, Scene 2Setting: Penny’s bedroom

Mrs. Pingleton: Penny Lou Pingleton, you are absolutely positively, permanently punished. You will never, ever leave this room again. Devil child, devil child!

*She sprays holy water on penny and leaves the room*Seaweed: Penny, what happened to you? Shh, stay still and keep quiet.Penny: She’s punishing me for taking in Tracy. What are you doing?Seaweed: I'm here to rescue the fair maiden, baby.

*Seaweed and Penny shares a hug*Penny: Oh, Seaweed, you do care. I was afraid the colors of our skin would keep us apart.Seaweed: No. These knots might. Was your mom in the navy?

Act 2, Scene 3Setting: Tracy’s room

*Link Larkin sings Without Love inside Tracy’s room*#Without Love#

Setting: Street*Scene divided; other half of the stage - Seaweed sings the

second part of the song with Penny*#Without Love#

Act 2, Scene 4Setting: House/Record Store of Motormouth Maybelle

Seaweed: Uh... Mama, I-Maybelle: You trying to hide her here? *Laughs* Why you ain't think-a that before? After everything she’s done for us. Where your manners at, boy?Seaweed: Oh, Mama.

Maybelle: And what about this one? *Looks at Penny*Inez: Seaweed’s got a girlfriend!Seaweed: Shut up, Inez.Maybelle: So, this is love, huh? Well, love is a gift. Lots-a people don't remember that. So you two better brace yourselves for a whole lot of ugly coming at you from a never-ending parade of stupid.Penny: So, you met my mom?

Act 2, Scene 5Setting: Tracy’s Home

*Phone rings, Edna answers*Edna: Hello?Tracy: Mom?Edna: Tracy! Oh my goodness, baby. Are you okay?Tracy: Yes, I’m safe. Mom, listen. I need your help.Edna: What?Tracy: Tomorrow’s the Miss Teenage Hairspray pageant. I need you to come down to the station. Dress nice.Edna: Well, well, Tracy-

*Line goes off*

Act 2, Scene 6Setting: WYZT Station, inside

*Everybody is taking their seats inside the studio*Voice over: Everybody, please take your seats. The Miss Teenage Hairspray pageant is about to begin.Velma: Oh, you've come on a very exciting day. It's our first live show.Corny: And we're live in 5, 4, 3... And now, broadcast live in front of a live studio audience for the first time from the certified up-to-code WYZT studio... it's the Corny Collins Miss Hairspray spectacular.Girls: He’s Corny!Corny: Brought to you by Ultra Clutch hairspray.

*Dance starts*#It’s Hairspray*

Voice: And we are out.

Act 2, Scene 7Setting: Dressing room

Velma: Well?Sergeant: There's no sign of her. We're on every door. She's not inside.Velma: Doesn't mean she won't try.Sergeant: Velma, I seriously doubt this girl's gonna risk incarceration to win a pageant.

Act 2, Scene 8Setting: Set, WYZT Station

Amber: Link, you sprayed it right in my face! What'd I tell you about that? Stop it guys!Voice: And we’re back in 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1.Corny: And now for the talent portion of our competition, our Councilettes in their Miss Teenage Hairspray official dance-off!

First off, we have the sunny pride of Highlandtown, Darla. Corny: This little girl could power all of greater downtown Baltimore with her energy-Lou Ann!Corny: Ladies and gentlemen, the almost too happy Tammy.Corny: And thank you, Tammy.Corny: And now a fast girl who loves to slow dance, our own smooth-as-silk Shelley.

Act 2, Scene 9Setting: WYZT, Outside

*A man in a hat and a fake nose enters pushing a gigantic hairspray can.*

Velma: And we’re off for network commercial. What the hell is this?Wilbur (in disguise): Product placement. The sponsor insists.Velma: What a relief. We needed a little something here. Say, don’t I know you?Wilbur: Honest, Velma, I’m a total stranger.

*VELMA whips off his hat and funny glasses to reveal WILBUR*Velma: You! Ha! What is this? Some kind of Trojan horse? What’s inside, your jailbird daughter? Well, if she’s hiding in that can, she’ll rot in it. Guard, take this idiot out!Seaweed (dressed as a guard wearing a riot helmet, back turned to Velma): Understood, ma’am.Wilbur: You win this time, Von Tussle. You’re one clever woman, I’ll say that.Velma (to Wilbur): Get out!*Velma exits; Seaweed removes his disguise and brings Wilbur and

the can inside the studio*

Act 2, Scene 9Setting: Set; Miss Teenage Hairspray

Corny: And of course, our 3-time Miss Hairspray Champion, the ever-charming, Amber Von Tussle!Corny: Let's give a final round of applause to our Miss TeenageHairspray contestants. We are so close to announcing the new Miss Teenage Hairspray. Look at that board. What a nail-biter this one is turning into. Ladies and gentlemen, the final tally... It is my obligation to announce that Amber von Tussle...Tracy: Is about to get out-danced.Corny: Tracy Turnblad!Amber: What!

*They all start dancing and singing*#You Can’t Stop the Beat#

Amber: This throne is mine!Tracy: They love you, Link.Link: Not for long. Inez, come on! Let's dance.Corny: Little Miss Inez Stubbs, Ladies and gentlemen!Maybelle: Look at my baby go.Corny: Oh! There you go! Give her a hand, folks! Little Miss Inez Stubbs!Penny: I am now a checkerboard chick.

Corny: And now, it's the moment you've all been craving for. As you know, we've kept the lines open up to the last minute.And those lines have been burnin' up our switchboard. Never in the history of this pageant has there been such a surge of late

voting. Baltimore, you've picked a winner. And the new Miss Hairspray is... Inez Stubbs! Come on over here, Little Inez.Maybelle: That’s my baby! That's my baby girl!Tracy: Oh my God!Velma: But she's not even a candidate!Corny: She just got a tidal wave of calls, Velma.Velma: But this is invalid. This is impossible.Corny: Well, anyone who dances for it is eligible. Rule 30, paragraph 5, asterisk, down at the bottom. OK. Well, this also makes you the lead dancer on The Corny Collins Show.

Ladies and gentlemen,The Corny Collins Show is now and forever officially integrated!

Spritzer: Velma! Pack your desk. You've tainted the name of Ultra Clutch.Velma: How can you taint a cancerous can of chemicals?Spritzer: You're fired!

Edna: Wilbur.Wilbur: Do it now, or forever wish you had.Edna: Really?Wilbur: Show 'em, baby. Nobody can dance like you.

*Edna enters the stage, sings and dances*

Velma: Corny, do something! The show is turning to gumbo.Corny: Not a chance, Velma. This is the future. Maybelle, let's go. This is your time.Maybelle: All right, Miss buttercup. It's time to wrap this mutha up.

*Maybelle sings and dances*

*Everybody dances, Inez is crowned, focus on Tracy and Link as they kiss*