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I am not a good ….
I am boring
MY BOSS IS CRAZY
I cannot trust menSHE IS RUDE
Fire is hot
Sad Angry LonelyFearSympathy
Blissful Excited ElatedNervous
MistakesTop performer
FIGHT
CARELOVE
HURRY AWAYIGNORE
MAKE A SCENEACT IMPORTANT
HUMBLE BEHAVIOR
I am not a good ….
I am boring
MY BOSS IS CRAZY
I cannot trust menSHE IS RUDE
Fire is hot
Sad Angry LonelyFearSympathy
Blissful Excited ElatedNervous
MistakesTop performer
FIGHT
CARELOVE
HURRY AWAYIGNORE
MAKE A SCENEACT IMPORTANT
HUMBLE BEHAVIOR
Thoughts/ Beliefs
Feelings
Behaviors/ Willing/Action
Thoughts create
Feelings
Feelings create
Behaviors
Behaviors create
Thoughts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1gqsSwClkY&list=PLaZzKAnZWpCk6lN8fPoKgPoFPDMWNkqJC&index=1
Event
A learned behavioral response that has become associated with a particular situation, esp one frequently repeated
SUPPRESSING FEELINGS CAN BE HARMFUL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4hMhxby3Dg&list=PLaZzKAnZWpCk6lN8fPoKgPoFPDMWNkqJC&index=2
• Self Observation and Deep Feeling Exercise– Note the details in black in your observation
Thoughts/Rationale for your response
Feelings
Physical
Sensations
Event Trigger
ResultingBehavior(Habit)
(energy,tension, tightness, warmth, numbness
anger, anxiety, joy,
excitement
Observable as language (stories, interpretation,justification, etc.)
Reward!
Current Thoughts without judgment
Adult Feelings Gifts we gain when we feel and own these feelings
My husband doesn’t spend time with me. I get angry with him. I do not like being lonely.
Lonely, alone Helps me to reach out to others- reach in to know myself
Joy, well being Helps me grow
I wish to connect with her but she doesn’t want to speak with me. Being rejected like that feels painful to me.
Pain Increases my ability to heal, face reality, regrow
Sadness Develop empathy- to care for myself and others
Anger(Adult) not rage Energizes my inner power , validates our right to be treated with respect and dignity
I feel really scared when I hear people screaming. I get really anxious about the future
Fear Strengthens self protection and boundaries. Makes me call out to Krsna
Love Extends my ability to give unconditional nurturing
Oh I feel awful, I made a mistake again.
Shame Humility, a sense of human ness, I can make mistakes
Current Thoughts without Judgment
Adult Emotion Gifts we gain when we feel and own these feelings
Exhilaration Positive Energy, power to persist until I succeed
Guilt Helps me set limits and have adult standards- gives me the energy and ability to make amends to others
I am happy that I was able to help them well.
Worthwhile Helps me grow my self esteem
Worthless Makes me more ready to grow and climb upwards
I am so confused right now. I cannot make sense of this situation. It is hard to remain in this confusion and not know what step to take
Confused Gives me the ability to understand other people’s confusion and the willingness to seek clarity for my own beliefs
Devastated Helps me connect with my deepest core pain and my wounded inner child and to learn how to nurture them safely in grown up ways
Self –Acceptance is being and neutral and compassionate. I am tiny and imperfect, yet lovable. Krsna loves me unconditionally- I will make the change because I wish to reciprocate with His love
I did it because she triggered me. Its not
my fault
How could I do something so
stupid?
Hmm. That was not very nice of me to respond like that. I really hurt her. She
must have felt terrible
I lovingly accept myself with my imperfect parts. I don’t have to convince myself or others that I was perfect in
responding in the wrong way. I care for myself .
• Step 2:Self Acceptance– Don’t beat yourself up– Don’t cover for yourself– Be neutral and compassionate!!
• I am tiny, imperfect and lovable• I deeply care for myself, my relationship with Krishna
– Krsna is loving , He accepts us completely with all our faults– Compassionate to my own myself- accepting myself in that
situation then from the platform I can bring about some change.
– E.g. If we hurt someone but they still love us , then we are inspired to make a change so we do not hurt them again . E.g parents love their child anyway- so the child feels the impetus to change.
Am I comfortable with myself being imperfect? Can I tolerate
myself with my imperfect parts?
• Step 2:Self Acceptance• From Acceptance comes Transformation
Self Acceptance HumilityImpetus to Change
our belief system/thoughts
Bg 2.62 — While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises.
Bg 2.63 — From anger, complete delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost one falls down again into the material pool.
• Step 4:Prayer• We feel humbled by our behavior.• We find this internal work very hard to do on our own• We cry out the Holy Names so Krsna protects us from
ourselves
Self Acceptance Humility Impetus to Change
Really cry out to Krsna for help
• Bg 2.64 — But a person free from all attachment and aversion and able to control his senses through regulative principles of freedom can obtain the complete mercy of the Lord.
• Bg 2.65 — For one thus satisfied [in Kṛṣṇa consciousness], the threefold miseries of material existence exist no longer; in such satisfied consciousness, one’s intelligence is soon well established.
• Bg 2.66 — One who is not connected with the Supreme [in Kṛṣṇa consciousness] can have neither transcendental intelligence nor a steady mind, without which there is no possibility of peace. And how can there be any happiness without peace?
Ananda Maya(Complete bliss)
Vijnana Maya(Transcendental Knowledge)
Mano Maya/Jnana Maya(Mind- mental speculation)
Prana Maya(Life Air)
Anna Maya(Food)
To know we are spirit soul servant of Krishna
We understand we are not the body, but the soul, we are separate from the thinking feeling and willing. But we do not know we are servant of
Krishna
Platform of the mind. Philosophical inquiry is a step above concerns for the pressing matters of life. The thoughtful person rises above the masses to the
stage called jnana-maya.
After this one lives in the consciousness of being alive. If one can continue his life
without being attacked or destroyed, one thinks himself happy.. Our thoughts focus
on work, family, friends, politics, entertainment, and so on
In the beginning of life, every living entity is food conscious. A child or an animal is satisfied only by getting nice food. This
stage of consciousness, in which the goal is to eat sumptuously, is called anna-maya
Thinking, Feeling and willing is limited to the body and its
effects. Thus we create different
bodies for enjoyment!
Thinking , Feeling and Willing is about pleasing Krsna and His
devotees
Material Pool
The 9 fold processes of
devotional service make our
thinking, feeling and willing
centered around Krsna!
Soul
Mind, Intelligence & False Ego
Body
The False Identity
House
Job
Social Status
Appearance Mother
Daughter
Wife
Sister, Aunt, …
………..
……
………………….
STEP 5:PATIENCEEnthusiasm and Determination
utsāhān niścayād dhairyāttat-tat-karma-pravartanātsaṅga-tyāgāt sato vṛtteḥṣaḍbhir bhaktiḥ prasidhyatiThere are six principles favorable to the execution of pure devotional service: (1)
being enthusiastic, (2) endeavoring with confidence, (3) being patient, (4) acting according to regulative principles [such as śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ smaraṇam – hearing, chanting and remembering Kṛṣṇa], (5) abandoning the association of nondevotees, and (6) following in the footsteps of the previous ācāryas. These six principles undoubtedly assure the complete success of pure devotional service.
• We sometimes see previously hidden aspects of our own makeup, of our personality and character. – Often these aspects were hidden only from us and not from others. These
shocking new glimpses of ourselves, these realizations that we are not exactly who we thought we were, may bring disappointment.
• They arise naturally as a result of our inner work and present us with a choice.– We may wallow in self-pity and self-hatred and, thereby, short-circuit the
process of practice.
• Or we may simply accept that the good in us exists alongside the not-so-good, and practice with renewed vigor toward transformation. – Not necessarily seeking to change the details of our personality, but rather
seeking to change our being.
As we do this internal work……..
• The Holy Name and the processes of devotional service bring us to the Lotus Feet of Krsna. As a by product they remove all the causes of suffering and distress.
• The techniques discussed here can support our devotional practices and the chanting of the Holy Names.
Steps Review
Step 1
•Self Observation
Step 2
•Self Acceptance
Step 3
•Higher Reward (Practice and Detachment)
Step 4
•Prayer,Surrender & Vaishnava Seva
Step 5
•Patience