Parodeities: The Hymn Book ( 2 ) Able Able Parody of: …net.pku.edu.cn/~course/cs201/2003/mirrorWebster.cs.ucr.edu/Page... · Page 1 Parodeities: The Hymn Book ( 1 ) A Gift From

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Parodeities: The Hymn Book

( 1 ) A Gift From GodParody of: Against All OddsAs Performed By: Phil Collins

I just have to thank You everydayeven though it was by graceWhen I think of all the wrong I’ve done,to You, ooh oohYou knew what I’d done, and you forgave it all

I just have to thank You everydayfor what You did on CalvaryYou bore the sin, the shame, the painand did it all for meYou knew what I’d done, and you forgave it all

So take a look at me now,There’s not even one small traceThere’s nothing left here to remind meof the sin your love replacedSo take a look at me now,There’s not even one small traceand Your act on Calvary was a gift from Godundeserved, an act of grace.

All I have to do is look aroundIt’s enough to make me cryThere’s so much I need to thank you forand many reasons whyYou knew what I’d done, and you forgave it all

So take a look at me now,There’s not even one small traceThere’s nothing left here to remind meof the sin your love replacedSo take a look at me now,There’s not even one small traceand Your act on Calvary was a gift from Godundeserved, an act of grace.

Take a good look at me now.Now I’ve got nothing to fear.For Your act on Calvary was a gift from GodGiven freely and sincereTake a look at me now...

( 2 ) Able AbleParody of: Rebel RebelAs Performed By: David Bowie

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo dooDoo doo doo-doo doo doo doo dooDoo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

Eve is the mother of the worldBirthed some boys, and a lot of girlsHey Cain, your gift’s not rightHey Cain, don’t get in a fightGod likes meat, He prefers AbleYour offering is just not divineWith your hands you hit Able hardHe’s no more, family’s aghastYou knocked him down, guess you were strongAttacking him, you did much wrong Able, Able, your gift’s the bestAble, Able, by God you are blessedAble, Able, you do not sowSquat chance, against your bro

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

Eve is the mother of the worldBirthed some boys, and a lot of girlsHey Cain, your gift’s not rightHey Cain, don’t get in a fightGod likes meat, He prefers AbleYour offering is just not divineWith your hands you hit Able hardHe’s no more, family’s aghastYou knocked him down, guess you were strongAttacking him, you did much wrong Able, Able, your gift’s the bestAble, Able, by God you are blessedAble, Able, you do not sowSquat chance, against your bro

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo dooDoo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

Able, Able, your gift’s the best

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Able, Able, by God you are blessedAble, Able, you do not sowSquat chance, against your bro

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo dooDoo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

Your gift’s the best, by God you are blessedPoor Cain gave enough,but enough ain’t the testYou’ve shown your submissionThat raise Cain’s ireYour gift was too fine,caused a brotherly feudYou offered a prayer, but your brother was rudeThe whole thing’s a messCaused your family distressBecause Cain couldn’t impressSo away he’d go

So away he would goAdam and Eve’s child, chi-child, chi-childWhere’s he gonna go?Adam and Eve down two,Had Seth to start anewAnd the whole thing’s a messOh, the whole thing’s a messOh, oh, so how could they know?Eh, eh, so how could they know?

( 3 ) Acts, NaturallyParody of: Act NaturallyAs Performed By: Buck Owens/The Beat-les

I wanna read the book that moves meI’m gonna read it oh so far you’ll seeI’ll take my fill of Peter, Paul, and MaryAnd I’ll read about ’em all in Acts, naturally

Well upset Jews chased followers, oh, so farFright spread them so far, true good news they’d tellDisciples of the Lord, that’s who they areYes, I must say that book is so swell

Well, I bet you’ll find out that it’s really groovyYes, there’s no way you can disagreeThe biggest tool, that Christ had was at once slimeJust read about Saul there in Acts, naturally

It’s really keen, oh yes this book’s the one and only’Bout spreading round the grace that’s given freeWill touch your heart, no matter what the versionJust read about it all in Acts, naturally

Well upset Jews chased followers, oh, so farFright spread them so far, true good news they’d tellDisciples of the Lord, that’s who they areYes, I must say that book is so swell

Well, I bet you’ll find out that it’s really groovyYes, there’s no way you can disagreeThe biggest tool, that Christ had was at once slimeJust read about Saul there in Acts, naturally

( 4 ) Adam Was Made From DustParody of: Another One Bites The DustAs Performed By: Queen

Darwin wrote this little thingThere’s just one thing to knowAin’t no proof but it sounds real neatA theory full of holesAre you ready? Are you ready for this?Though the theory is incompleteWe’re all just evolved from apes!So thinks the man on the street!

Adam was made from dustAdam was made from dustIt wasn’t some slime or organic crustAdam was made from dustHey, you know the Bible’s trueAdam was made from dust

You know we’ve not been here that long,See Genesis one and twoGod made Adam and then EveAnd their line leads to youSo be happy, and be satisfiedGod made it all you see?So worry not your idle mindwith such curiosity

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Adam was made from dustAdam was made from dust, awAdam was made from dust, hey, heyAdam was made from dustHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey

Well you say that you want to knowabout the dinosaursAnd who’s Cain’s wife and geologyThose fossells and much more?When God’s ready, He’ll explain it to youAnd you’ll see it’s quite the featDon’t doubt his word just becauseyou think that it’s incomplete


( 5 ) All My LookingParody of: All My LovingAs Performed By: The Beatles

Chose the prize, didn’t miss YouNo sorrow it’s bliss, oohCan be sure I’ll always be true’Cause I know You’re the wayJohn 14 does conveySo I’ll end all my looking, I’m through

Can’t pretend that I missingThe life I’m rescindingThe scope of this means I love YouNow sin’s gone when I prayYour love’s blown me awaySo I’ll end all my looking for You

All my looking, ended, I found You

All my looking, my heart’s now brand new

Chose the prize, didn’t miss YouNo sorrow it’s bliss, oohCan be sure I’ll always be true’Cause I know You’re the wayJohn 14 does conveySo I’ll end all my looking, I’m through

All my looking, ended, I found YouAll my looking, my heart’s now brand newAll my looking, all my looking, ooohAll my looking, my heart’s now brand new

( 6 ) All The Church SingsParody of: All The Small ThingsAs Performed By: Blink 182

All the church singsDon’t stare, youth thingI break, one riffMy mind, adriftJeff sees, uh-oh"You’ll sing", I say noWhat then? Waiting Aggrevating"Sing it just so"I just say noIt sets me offThis mindless drone

Na na na na na na na na na naNa na na na na na na na na naNa na na na na na na na na naNa na na na na na na na na na

That’s right, dumb tonewords stink, I knowHe left me colder by the staresChurch rises so God knows they care"Sing it just so"I just say noIt sets me offThis mindless drone

Na na na na na na na na na na

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Na na na na na na na na na naNa na na na na na na na na naNa na na na na na na na na na

"Sing it just so"I just say noIt sets me offThis mindless drone

We’re singing stillAnd will untilThe song will go on’Till Jeff’s had his fill

"Sing it just so"(Waves of mercy)I just say no(Waves of Grace)It sets me off(Oh my God)This mindless drone(How can it be)

We’re singing still(Na na na na na na na na na na)And will untilThe song will go on(Na na na na na na na na na na)’Till Jeff’s had his fill

( 7 ) Amazing GraceParody of: Daddy Sang BassAs Performed By: Johnny Cash

v1.I was a wretch, I was real badI was once blind, no sight I hadWell, until that day by Jesus I was foundMany dangers, toils, and tearsHis grace relieved my fearsOh Amazing Grace Oh Yes! How sweet the sound!

Chorus:Amazing Grace, I was a sinnerI was once lost, now I’m a winnerJesus brought peace to my troubled soulAnd although I once was wrong,

To the Lord I now belongWell I praise the day my Savior made me whole

No, the circle won’t be brokenBye and bye Lord, bye and bye...Amazing Grace, I was a sinnerPearly gates, well, I want in thereWhen I die Lord, when I die

v2.Well, the hour I first believed,All my burdens God relieved’Twas grace that taught this sinner’s heart to fearAnd no matter where I roam,His grace will lead me homeHow precious to me did that grace appear

[chorus]

( 8 ) An Angel Standing ThereParody of: I Saw Her Dancing ThereAs Performed By: The Beatles

Well she was maybe sixteenGod’s love she had seenInside her cookedThe Son of Man, the heirJohn comes in advance of this otherSaid the Angel standing there

Well she couldn’t see,Her own pregnancyThere’s something wrongJoseph’s in love with herKnown in advance she’s a motherSaid the Angel standing there

Well inside her wombThe Christ-child would bloomOh the child that is devineWas born on Christmas nightIn a stable, what a sightAnd now many songsWould tell the tale of herNow God took no chance with anotherSaid the Angel standing there

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( 9 ) An Arisen SaviorParody of: Daydream BelieverAs Performed By: The Monkees

Oh, Christ died on the crossAnd we all had felt his lossThe Friday evening news left us in doubtBut Sunday, He did riseChecked it out with our own eyesOur risen Savior’s taken Calvary’s route

Chorus:He’s the Son of ManHe followed God’s planHe’s an arisen Savior spread it throughout the land

He said "Wait and see,I’ll be back upon day threeThe grave is not so strong it can hold meAnd my time here, will not end’Till I’ve risen up againThe scriptures they predict that this will be."

[chorus 3x]

( 10 ) And He Loves HerParody of: And I Love HerAs Performed By: The Beatles

She was the daughter ofLaban, it’s trueAnd Jacob fell in loveWith just one viewAnd he loves her

She was out shepherdingYes tending sheepHe kissed her and she bringsHer dad to seeAnd he loves her

The years like hoursWould pass on byShe had his eyeSeven years, gee

Rachel was mighty fineLeah, weak eyesBut Rachel’s next in line

Leah he buysStill he loves her

So now it’s Rachel’s timeJake’s quite the guyFourteen years, what a crimeThat must implyThat he loves her

( 11 ) Angel Named HaroldParody of: Wreck of the Edmond Fitzger-aldAs Performed By: Gordon Lightfoot

The prophecy calls for this small Bethlehem townIt’s the birthplace of God given to theeThe scriptures we’ve read said the town of Da-vidHosts the prize of December so holyAn angel of the Lord, far from heaven he soaredWas the Angel named Harold, strayed greatlyTo worship the new King he went down to viewBut he failed to descend there directly

The sheep were the pride of some shepherds that nightOn their backs on some hill, the wind on them’Twas a big frightning show, by a heavenly hostAs they flew on that first Christmas seasonThey’d made a wrong turn, as they all quickly learnedTo the left, they could find town BethlehemWas on Christmas night that the Angels sangCould it be? Yes of Him, they were singin’?

That’s when, so inspired, came an Angel-ese soundAnd Harry said "Aw Heck, guess we’re wailing"No shepherd there knew what the Angels would doThought they said "Oh Hark! Glory unto Him"Harold said "just great" well these dudes cannot trans-lateSo the tales of December are clashin’So after they sang only shepherds remainTo that place they would hurry to see Him

When Christmastime came, shepherds mistook his nameHarry sure did not want to mislead all"From Heaven we send our good tidings to men," he said

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"Harold’s my name not our title"So Harry told them Christ could erase all of their sinAnd that’s how we got that Christmas CarolWell "Hark" isn’t right, what the song oughta citeIs "’Aw Heck!’ Said the Angel named Harold"

Cattle gently lows where the Son of God growsAngels gave unto him praise and honorThe shepherds all say, that upon Christmas dayAngels herald the glory they’d find thereThe shepherds get up once they had realizedJesus slept in a trough made for waterWith so much to gain, left their sheep on the plainsWent to visit Joachim’s daughter

Not much for clothes, wrapped just in swaddlingIn this room, just a cow palace mansionNew eastern star gleams while the little child dreamsAnd the baby just lays, shepherds watchin’Mary and Joe, take in all of this showIn the town of Bethlehem one winterAnd the songs we all know well their lyrics we do oweTo the shepherds who couldn’t remember

There is no room at all in the Inn where they stayedBed’s a manger, the Savior’s room a stallTo capture the time, they made up so many rhymesAnd they mentioned the Angel named HaroldThe songs and carols from this small Bethlehem townOn the birthday of God given to theeThe shepherds were led to the little child’s bedWrote some songs to remember it’s holy

( 12 ) At Book 64Parody of: When I m 64As Performed By: The Beatles

Reading it over, here in my chairMany verses, wowMalichi turns out to be book thirty-nineRevelation end of the line

Only one chapter, John number threeThen there’s just two moreSo I’m proceeding,Yes I’m still reading,At book sixty-four

Jude’s one chapter, too

And when I’ve read God’s WordI will start anew

It’s fine and dandy, all I can useSo I’m reading onThere is nothing better than the truth insideSunday morning’s sermon applied

Daily devotions, I better heedWho could ask for more?So I’m proceeding,Yes I’m still reading,At book sixty-four

Even though Leviticus was boringRevelation might not be all too clearI won’t skim I prayMan, chills when I do read"Verily I say..."

It’s getting close now, I’m doing fineSixty-six to doIt is great, how nicely it begins my dayHow it clearly shows me the way

It is the answer, it does informThat book I adoreSo I’m proceeding,Yes I’m still reading,At book sixty-four

( 13 ) Ate From The TreeParody of: Eight Days a WeekAs Performed By: The Beatles

Oooh this place that God madeWhen the world was newOf one fruit be afraidGod told Adam, doTold him, warned him, told him, warned himAdam that fruit you should evadeAvoid that tree

Serpent talked to the girlSaid the fruit was fineIf you take one bite, girlYou’ll know wrong from rightTold her, for sure, told her, for sureWon’t die eating what God made

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Eat from the tree

Ate from the treeBad of youAte from the treeAnd now they’re kicked right out of there

Oooh this place that God madeWhen the world was newOf one fruit be afraidGod told Adam, doTold him, warned him, told him, warned himAdam that fruit you should evadeAte from the tree

Ate from the treeBad of youAte from the treeAnd now they’re kicked right out of there

Serpent talked to the girlSaid the fruit was fineIf you take one bite, girlYou’ll know wrong and rightTold her, for sure, told her, for sureWon’t die eating what God madeAte from the treeAte from the treeAte from the tree

( 14 ) BaldParody of: JumpAs Performed By: Van Halen

E-li-sha!Had a head that was roundThere was no hair, by skin he was crownedAnd you knowIt was shaped like a peaYou might be rolling with laughterIt was something to see

He was on his way to Betheland he ran into some boys that were meanThey thought his head was a bean,And he looked like Mr. Clean

Well, Elisha was bald

Bald!He was quite baldElisha was baldBald!Elisha was bald

"Ahh-ooh hey you! Who said that?Who is jeering at me?You say that I’m just a ’baldy head’and you say it with glee"

He was on his way to Betheland he ran into some boys that were meanThey thought his head was a bean,And he looked like Mr. Clean

Well, Elisha was baldBald!He was quite baldElisha was baldBald!Elisha was baldBald!

They said he was bald!And he was appalled!And by some bears42 were mauledBald!Bald!Bald!Bald!

( 15 ) Bare Naked EveParody of: Bare NeccessitiesAs Performed By: Disney (Jungle Book)

She ran around bare nakedlyGod made her innocent, you seeAnd she was not at all ashamed to beNo fancy clothes, bare naked EveYes you could say she was naiveHer birthday suit was all you could perceive

You know the garden, it was her homeAmong its splendor, well she could roamGod said "you know it’s all for free,but never eat thou from this tree.For if you do your days will end

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And that will cause the original sin."So watch what you do!

Watch out bare naked Eve, the serpent’s after you!He’s after you!

She ran around bare nakedlyGod made her innocent, you seeAnd she was not at all ashamed to beNo fancy clothes, bare naked EveYes you could say she was naiveHer birthday suit was all you could perceive

Well you know the serpent, he convinced EveTo take a bite from that special treeWell, her eyes then were opened wideAnd she and Adam had to hide’Cause they didn’t want their Lord to seeThe extent of their na-ked-ityOh no! Oh no no!

And Adam and Eve’s gardening days were all through,They were all through!

( 16 ) Battle of 1611Parody of: Battle of New OrleansAs Performed By: Johnny Horton

Verse 1:In sixteen-one-one not too considerate,The Bible was in Latin very few men could read itSo James did his own version Written by a special teamAnd they wrote it all in English,Boy the priesthood really screamed

Chorus:Just priests and nuns could read the book in LatinGave ’em lots of power over everybody’s soulYes, King James made the Bible far more common,Everyone could read it,Yes that really was the goal

Verse 2:The Vulgate was in LatinGuess old James thought this was dumbJust to know know what God said Latin scholars they’d become

The people don’t know Latinand can’t understand the thing"So we’ll write it in their languageand they’ll read of Christ the King"

[chorus]Just priests and nuns could read the book in LatinGave ’em lots of power over everybody’s soulYes, King James made the Bible far more common,Everyone could read it,Yes that really was the goal

Verse 3:The Pope he thought that it wasn’t really wiseTo let the people read God’s word using their own eyesHe thought fer sure that the common folk would yell,’Cause what the Church was teaching wouldn’t save the folks from ... well


Verse 4:So they read through the Hebrewand they read through the Greekand they read AramaicSo God’s word we could now seekThey produced the Holy BibleIn the language that we speakSo you could have your own copyand can read it every week


(Instrumental)

Verse 5:Although it is Old English

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Don’t let it bring on a frownJust know God’s word is greaterIn there yes the truth is foundSo read the Bible dailyThough you might not be inclined’Cause in there is the Good NewsThat saves body, soul, and mind


Verse 6:Just remember it’s a priviledgeYou can read His Holy WordYou can read it with your own eyesNot just what at Church you’ve heardThank King James and his scholarsWho translated God’s word wholeAnd we’ve got it in a codex noton some ungainly scroll


Verse 7:So they read through the Hebrewand they read through the Greekand they read AramaicSo God’s word we could now seekThey produced the Holy BibleIn the language that we speakSo you could have your own copyand can read it every week


( 17 ) Believe It Or NotParody of: Believe It Or NotAs Performed By: Theme from The Greatest American Hero T.V. Series

Verse 1:

Look at what’s happened to me-, I can’t believe it myself. Suddenly I’m up on top of the world, Let’s share it with everyone else.

Chorus:

Believe it or not, I don’t have a care. I never thought I could feel so free-. It took the Lord’s grace and just one single prayer. How can this be? He died to save you and save me.

Verse 2:

It’s like a light of a new day-, It hit me from out of the blue. Into my heart, I let Him in, and that was all I had to do.

{Chorus}

Bridge:

This is too good to be true Look at me, following You.

Believe it or notBelieve it or not Believe it or notBelieve it or not

{Chorus} (and fade):

( 18 ) BethlehemParody of: China GroveAs Performed By: Doobie Brothers

Joseph was a-bound to a sleepy little town,’cause of the census from Rome.

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It was a long, long way from Nazareth,But Bethlehem was his home.The Inns in the town were full,so he wound up in a stable.

It was the night that Christ was bornWo-oh-oh, Wo-oh, Christ was born

Well the child soon arrivedon that Christmas night,He was the Son of the Lord.And the shepherds came on by’cause of angels in the sky,to check out Joseph’s ward.

His mom was still a virginHe came to save us from sin.


And then one day there were magi comingFollowin’ the eastern light.But Herod and his buddies intercepted them firstYou could really hear the wailing that nightBut God warned Joseph of impending deathHerod’s plan missed its mark.On to Egypt and then Nazareth.


( 19 ) Bethlehem NightsParody of: Hollywood NightsAs Performed By: Bob Seger

She was with child, the journey did not seem so brightThey came from Nazareth it was their homeBethlehem bound and yet worse they arrived late at nightThere was census as ordered by RomeIt was ordered from Rome

They got in late and they found there was no room at the Inn.So they wound up in the stable out backThis was no place for the Christ to be born inThe King of Kings came to Earth in a shack

(chorus)And those Bethlehem nightsWith no room at the InnThey would give us a childHe would save us from sinHe was quite a sightLying there in the strawHe would set the world rightHe would replace the law

Some shepherds came ’cause the angels told them of the LordHe’d cleanse their sins and He would save their soulsHe had been born in this place but they expected moreYet by His grace He would make them all wholeHe would make them all whole

Night after night, day after day, they travelled onThree magi seeking the birth of a kingHow could they know on this trip they would meet God’s own spawnMyrrh, Gold, and frankincense, gifts they did bring

(repeat chorus 2x)

( 20 ) BirthdayParody of: BirthdayAs Performed By: The Beatles

Celebrate Christ’s birthdayAny date will do, yeahCelebrate Christ’s birthdayThe reason for this good timeHow holy His birthdayWhat a birthday: Luke 2

Yes, we’re going to a Christmas partyYes, we’re going to a Christmas partyYes, we’re going to a Christmas party

Hang some ornaments (Birthday)Seasonal events (Birthday)His birth represents (Birthday)Jesus

Hang some ornaments (Birthday)Seasonal events (Birthday)His birth represents (Birthday)

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Jesus

Celebrate Christ’s birthdayAny date will do, yeahCelebrate Christ’s birthdayThe reason for this good timeHow holy His birthdayWhat a birthday: Luke 2

( 21 ) Blazing HotParody of: Those Were The DaysAs Performed By: Mary Hopkin

One day so decreed Nebuchadnezzar"I will build an image that is greatAnd if you refuse to bow down to itA blazing fiery furnace is your fate."

Chorus:You’d best bow down my friendOr you we’ll apprehendIt’s blazing hot and you won’t get awaySo choose not to offendHere’s what we recommend,You’d best bow down, so please don’t disobey

Shadrach, Meshach and poor AbednegoKnew the Lord was just the one to trustSo they just said "no" to NebuchadnezzarTheir actions made the king so furious

[chorus]

So the furnace was made a lot hotterThen the guys were bound and tossed insideRoast these dudes the furnace it oughta’It’s so hot the soldiers even fried

[chorus 2x]

Guess it just surprised those who were gazingYes it proved the boys were really blessedEven the king found this quite amazingHe decided that God was the best

They won’t bow down to him,’cause God says that’s a sinThe furnace heat, it’s just temporaryGod kept the boys alive

Though no one should surviveNebuchadnezzar gladly set them free(repeat)

( 22 ) Born as a ChildParody of: Born To Be WildAs Performed By: Steppenwolf

Get your Bible openTo Luke one:two-sevenRead about the babyWho will take us all to heaven

The Lord came here to make it happenWalked the Earth as a mortal manShared all of our pain and suff’ringSo He’d understand

Jesus grew in wisdom, stature and in favorHad to die on Calv’rySo that He could be our savior


And although this seems wild,Christ was born, born as a childLike a normal guyHe even had to dieBorn as a childBorn as a child

Get your Bible openTo Luke one:two-sevenRead about the babyWho will take us all to heaven


And although this seems wild,Christ was born, born as a childLike a normal guyHe even had to die

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Born as a childBorn as a child

( 23 ) Built A Ship Upon a WhimParody of: Candle in the WindAs Performed By: Elton John

It was Noah’s dreamThough I never believed at allYou had so much faith in GodThough others thought this flawedThey’re paid to do your wood workEven though they thought you insane"Noah’s Folly" they would smirkAnd treat you with disdain

And it seems to me you spent your lifeto build a ship just on a whimWell you knew who to turn toWhen the rain set inYes, it was quite amazing, a big floating zooI wish that I had trusted GodAnd been in there with you

Though the seas were rough,In there over one year you stayedGod created a world-wide floodThat’s how man’s sins were paidWhen you disembarkedGod, He set the sky aglowHe gave you His covenentHis promise, the rainbow


Goodbye Noah’s teamFrom the young man who helped build your boatIf you will not let me inAt least toss me a float!Wish that I’d listenedIt’s obvious you knew all along

The end was coming soonAnd God would right the wrongs


( 24 ) Burning Bush He SeesParody of: Turning JapaneseAs Performed By: The Vapors

He took a detour, lonely HebrewI’ll quote it for you, Exodus 3:2He stood there staring ’cause the bush was not con-sumedWell it’s on fireIt’s holy groundNo foot attireGod’s all aroundAnd God told Moses then that he was Egypt bound

Herd operator, not an oratorHe’d lead a million of them all by himselfAbe his ancestor, God’s promise was forAnd God’s plan took all of Exodus to tellIt’s hot, not burning up nor burning downnot turning black nor turning brown

chorus:A burning bush he seesYou know a burning bush he seesA sight to beholdBurning bush he seesYou know a burning bush he seesA sight to beholdA burning bush he seesYou know a burning bush he seesA sight to beholdBurning bush he seesYou know a burning bush he seesA sight to behold

Herd operator, not an oratorHe’d lead a million of them all by himself

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Abe his ancestor, God’s promise was forAnd God’s plan took all of Exodus to tellIt’s hot, not burning up nor burning downnot turning black nor turning brown

[chorus]

"No way, no how, no time, won’t listenNot fun, won’t win, for you I won’t disembark,Everyone’ll laugh at me, my talk it’s strangerPharoah’s overjoyed, yeah right, it’s total dangerNot the one..."

(You know)[chorus 2x]

( 25 ) Calf of GoldParody of: RunawayAs Performed By: Del Shannon

As I read God’s word I wonder ’bout what went wrongwith Israel, God loved them oh so strong.As I read further still, when Moses went up the hillthe people, did not obey God’s will.

Seems to me they’re pretty boldworshipping a calf of goldGuess the Devil had ’em soldon an idol from a moldAnd I wonder,I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonderWhyuh-why-why-why-why-why they turned away,and I wonder, what made them stray,’cause God’s the only way,oh-oh-oh-oh-only way.

[Instrumental]

Seems to me they’re pretty boldworshipping a calf of goldGuess the Devil had ’em soldon an idol from a moldAnd I wonder,I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonderWhyuh-why-why-why-why-why they turned away,and I wonder, what made them stray,’cause God’s the only way,

oh-oh-oh-oh-only way. oh-oh-oh-oh-only way. oh-oh-oh-oh-only way.

( 26 ) Christ s in the MangerParody of: Cat s in the CradleAs Performed By: Harry Chapin

A child was born just the other dayHe was the son of a virgin, MaryWhile the shepherds watchand angels praiseSheep overlook where the young child laysAnd he was teaching ’fore they knew it, but yet even then, they knew He would save us from sinYou know that He would save us from sin

Christ’s in the mangerand the prophecy’s trueGod came as man to save me and save youBetter get ready ’cause I don’t know whenHe is coming back again, yeahYou know that He can save us from sin

Jesus was baptized just the other dayGod said "Well done my Son" on a heavenly rayHe went off to the desert just to get awayMet the devil out there and He heard him say"If you’re hungry Christ then make some bread from these stones"Christ told the devil "It is quite well knownMan doesn’t live by bread alone"


Well He came into town just the other dayHe waved to the crowd so triumphantlyAnd the people cheered and they threw bouquetsAnd they laid down their cloaks in the donkey’s wayBut they all expected Him to free Israel from RomeNot create for them a heav’nly home

Christ’s in the manger

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and the prophecy’s trueGod came as man to save me and save youBetter get ready ’cause I don’t know whenHe is coming back again, yeahYou know that He can save us from sin

He hung on the cross and they all were dismayedHis friends all ran ’cause they were afraid

Their spirits were low and the skies were grayBut He lived and He arose by the very third dayThen He taught them forty days and when He was all doneThere was no doubt He was God’s own SonJesus was God’s own Son

As He rose into Heaven He said "wait and see,You’re all gonna be like me, yeah,You’re gonna preach like me"


Christ’s in the mangerand the prophecy’s trueGod came as man to save me and save youBetter get ready ’cause I don’t know whenHe is coming back again, yeahYou know we’ll have a good time then

( 27 ) Christmas DayParody of: YesterdayAs Performed By: The Beatles

Christmas day, all the angels came to Earth to say,Glory to God, peace on Earth today,It was a sight, on Christmas day

Suddenly, shepherds told by angels had to seeJoseph and Mary’s little babyThis Christmas Day, a jubilee

Chorus:God and man on Earth, by His birththe Angels say

Sang it really strong, Angel’s song,On Christmas Day

Christmas Day, there’s this little child right in the hay,In a manger where animals stayThis Christmas Day, so far away

[instrumental]

[chorus]

Christmas day, all the angels came to Earth to say,Glory to God, peace on Earth today,It was a sight, on Christmas day

[chorus]

Suddenly, shepherds told by angels had to seeJoseph and Mary’s little babyThis Christmas Day, a jubilee

( 28 ) Come SundayParody of: Come MondayAs Performed By: Jimmy Buffet

Carrying Your cross up to Calv’ryYes, the Romans can put on a showCrown of thorns there on Your browI guess I never thought that You would sink so lowJesus, I guess I didn’t know, You would not stay in that hole

Come Sunday, You will rise againCome Sunday, You will save me from sinIt’s been two lonely days and my mind’s in a hazeOn the third day the tomb’s opened wide

Yes, it’s been quite a bummerThey took my Lord, put Him in the graveAnd now there is mass confusionJust don’t know how I should behaveYes, You lifted my spirits high,I never thought that this day you would die

Come Sunday, You will rise againCome Sunday, You will save me from sinIt’s been two lonely days and my mind’s in a hazeOn the third day the tomb’s opened wide

Page 15

I can’t help it JesusYou’re that much a part of me nowRemember that night in the gardenI told You that I’d defend You or die!

I hope You’re enjoying the scenryUp there in that heavenly placeYea, what a surprise on SundayWhen I see Your risen faceSo I will now go near and farSpread the Gospel with all of my heart

Come Sunday, You will rise againCome Sunday, You will save me from sinIt’s been two lonely days and my mind’s in a hazeOn the third day the tomb’s opened wideIt’s been two lonely days and my mind’s in a hazeOn the third day the tomb’s opened wide

( 29 ) Crazy DrainParody of: Crazy TrainAs Performed By: Ozzy Osbourne

Crazy, from my head to my toesAll of these demons, just add to my woesSave me, this pain’s too greatOne sent from aboveCorrect my mental stateOnly you can heal meI call on Jesus’ nameHis mercy never fails, He did a crazy drainHis mercy never fails, He did a crazy drain

I’ve listened to preachers,They’ve called me a foolI’ve heard all of their shouts"You’re a demon’s tool"Then Jesus sailed over, I gave Him controlThe demons begged Jesus, into some pigs they’d goLike the plumber man He came,Leaving me now saneHe flushed them from my soul, did a crazy drainHe flushed them from my soul, did a crazy drain

No those pigs they do not belong to meThose demons went into those herdsYeah!

(instrumental)

Pig’s owners were real soreThey must’ve been dumbCould not see the sane man, that I’ve now become"Crazy?" I’m no longer thereI tell all the people, you should see them stareJesus Christ healed meI call upon His nameHis mercy never fails, He did a crazy drainHis mercy never fails, He did a crazy drain

( 30 ) CrucifyParody of: Ballroom BlitzAs Performed By: The Sweet

(Spoken. Note: skip one drum measure and then start speaking):Are you ready Pharisees? (yes)Saducees? (yeah)Pilate (okay)Barabbus (sure)

(skip one drum measure)

Well, alright fellas, let’s gooooooo!

Verse 1:

Oh it’s been getting so hardlistening to the things You say ’bout me.Your parables are so strange,I wish that You would state them more clearly.

See the man in the back he just picked up his matand he walked for the very first timeAnd the girl in the corner, we all just ignore her,but he thinks that she’s just fine.

Oh Yeah! It was amazing,the dead He was raising,And the people were praising,’cause their souls he was saving

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, YeahSo we whipped up the crowd, got ’em yellin’ real loudthat we all wanted Him to die.It’s no real loss to have Him nailed to a cross,

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’cause the dude isn’t very flyCrucify! Crucify! Crucify! Crucify!

He’s preaching about something,we always seem to have the worst of luck.No matter how we threaten,we just can’t seem to get Him to shut up.

At the temple he freaked, and His rage did peak,as he smashed up the sellers stands.So we’ll not be pleased ’till he’s upon a tree with nails in his feet and hands.

Oh Yeah! It was amazing,the dead He was raising,And the people were praising,’cause their souls he was saving

( 31 ) Crypt TonightParody of: KryptoniteAs Performed By: 3 Doors Down

I watched them hang the Lord upon a cross, it wasn’t kindI felt the earthquake, saw the curtain torn, it was a signI watched the Sanhedrin end His life, far too soonThree days they’d sing a different tune...Yeah

He’d save the world this man who was the King of JewsAfter all He’d done the priests could not believe the truthSo He died on the cross to save all mankind from their sinI claimed his body, wrapped it up, used my tomb just for him

Chorus:He’s off to heaven not into primordial soup, oh man!I may be crazy but I think that they have slaughtered the lambI’ll wrap your body tight and Romans guard youIn your crypt tonight

I was afraid of what the others thought, it’s so embarassingI bet they were surprised as Romans took your body downI shocked all them because I chose the Christ and did not pick these menI claimed you as my own and put your body in the ground

[chorus](Instrumental)[chorus/mellow]Yeah[chorus]Whoa-oa-oaWhoa-oa-oaWhoa-oa-oa

( 32 ) Dan s DevotionParody of: Man in MotionAs Performed By: John Parr

Belshazzar couldn’t read the writing on the wallWritten while he had been throwing a fancy ballHis wise men failed to interpret itThat made him really scared of this small writ

The queen came, said "Don’t be alarmed, don’t look so pale!I know a guy, he will succeed though these others fail.He knows many things, soon you will seeHe was a prisoner, but your dad set him free."

He is wise and never outdone and his God he won’t denyHe is from Jerusalem and he’s always prayin’Gotta’ check out Dan’s devotion, to the one and only GodAnd you’d better listen to what he is sayin’

So Daniel came, told the king that he really messed upDrinking wine, from a very sacred temple cupThe words said "Mene Mene Tekel Parsin"They were an indication of the king’s sin

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"Your reign’s days they have been numbered and now come to an endYou’ve been put onto the scales and God finds you wantin’"

"Yes you’ve had a good life, it’s been a swell time,but your time is now, God will take your life."



Your kingdom’s soon divided and split with other menThis is the price you’ll pay for all of your sinAll of your sinAll of your sin (fade)

( 33 ) Daniel in the Lion s DenParody of: FootlooseAs Performed By: Kenny Loggins

Dan’s praying so hardHis record’s not marredFor hours, each dayHe sits and prays and prays and...The Lord works through himthe best example is this guyeveryone loves him,

so then why is it he must die?

Throw him into the denlion’s denWe’ll never see him againooh-ee, kitty, don’t look that way at me.Hey, big cat, you’re already much too fat.I’m a Dude, not food, I’m Daniel in the lion’s den.

Dan never did badThis made some people madThey went unto the KingThey praised him and they told himYou are the greatest,It’s only to you we should bowThey knew that Danielwould never do this anyhow

Throw him into the denlion’s denWe’ll never see him againooh-ee, kitty, don’t look that way at me.Hey, big cat, you’re already much too fat.I’m a Dude, not food, I’m Daniel in the lion’s den.

So Daniel stayed there all nightand in came the morning lightthe king came rushing in...

...and Dan was all right!Alright!Escaped the lion’s biteKept their jaws, shut tightWhat an amazing sightSays one thing,don’t bow down to a king’cause there’s just one Godto whom we must always sing.

Alright!Escaped the lion’s biteKept their jaws, shut tightWhat an amazing sightSays one thing,don’t bow down to a king’cause there’s just one Godto whom we must always sing.

Daniel in the... Daniel in the Lion’s Den!

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( 34 ) David Feeds and Herds SheepParody of: Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt CheapAs Performed By: AC/DC

If you’re havin’ trouble with Israel’s headSaul’s givin’ you the bluesJust recall now what old Samuel said:"A king you shouldn’t choose."Sam now must roam,to Jesse’s hometo find a lad so fineBut seven boys paraded on by (hey!)They did not get God’s sign

David feeds and herds sheep (3x)David feeds and also herds sheep (2x)

So now David was a scrawny oneWith just a sling and rocksThe Philistines sent forth their championWho was strong as an oxIn the field alone,That guy’s over-grown,At nearly nine feet tallLook at him, It looks real grim,But Dave says he will fall

David feeds and herds sheep (3x)David feeds and also herds sheep

If you got a giant and you want him goneBut you ain’t got the gutsHe keeps taunting you night and dayThe dude is such a putzDon’t whine and groan,Just pick up a stoneAnd with a sling in handYou will see, that young David can beIsrael’s man

David feeds and herds sheep (3x)David feeds and also herds sheep

Sandal shoes, desert guide, rocks and slingAnd herds sheepkill bears, lions, cures Saul’s rage!And herds sheep

David feeds and herds sheep

( 35 ) DavyParody of: Eddies TeddyAs Performed By: Rocky Horror Picture Show

spoken:No armor was worn, that was troubleThey thought he’d be torn, but he defied"He’s either vain, or else the dude is completely insane"But by God, Goliath died

v1:Though he had little brawn, he’s not dauntedWith five little stones, He prepared to fightGoliath’s a hunkHe was a nine-foot creep and a punkHe made everyone run and hide

chorus:Well, Davy said he, knew that he could do iteven though he was a little kidBut when he took on GoliathWith a slingshot, rightPoor Goliath!Did he die?Yes he did

interude:His brothers were sick of himGoliath’s quite above himSaul said "Hey listen to me,You’re suff’ring from insanity,Ought to lock the door and throw away the key"

v2:But he must have been on, yeah, to somethingMaking him scorn, that Philistine(What’d he say? What’d he say?)"I’ll come out ahead, don’t worry ’cause Goliath’s dead,With God’s help I am not just some bird feed"

Page 19

(chorus 2x)

( 36 ) Day FlipperParody of: Day TripperAs Performed By: The Beatles

Fought for Gibeon, the battle turned into a routFought for Gibeon, the battle turned into a rout, now

He was a day flipperJust the ticket, yeahThe day was so long, the sun’s outJosh had clout

Like a big freezerThe hailstones took half the men outLike a big freezerThe hailstones took half the men out, now


The moon would seize thereAijalon had the night spannedThe moon would seize thereAijalon had the night spanned, yeah


Day flipperDay flipper, yeah!

Day flipperDay flipper, yeah!

( 37 ) December 25Parody of: I Can t Drive 55As Performed By: Sammy Hagar

Done put Christmas day real far in the past, hey!Well, so few biographic records last, no!Though the exact date we can never proveIt’s not black or white, some disapprove, they say:

Chorus:On a night back in B.C. four or fiveChose the date by a pagan riteFake, a lie son, it’s contrivedDecember 25

Oh No!Uh!

So why not choose February 24? Huh?When the judgement comes you can ask the LordYou know the calendar’s thrashed it is so disjointBut the exact date, well, that’s not the pointI say yeah!So now?

[chorus]

December 25December 25December 25December 25uh!

To derive and know, yeah, both the day and yearYou’d need a time machine or a real good seerBut, yeah, the date we choose for our Lord’s birthdayIs really arbitrary so let’s celebrate!Yeah!

Alternate Chorus:On a night back in B.C. four or fiveImportant thing is: the Lord’s arrivedTake no offense, He’s alive!December 25

December...(December 25)December...(December 25)December...(December 25)December...(December 25)

Page 20

( 38 ) DelilahParody of: LaylaAs Performed By: Eric Clapton

Girl I am the one and onlyBut somebody’s waiting there insideYou’ve been wondering why is it I’m so strongYou won’t be happy till I’ve died

Chorus:D’lilah, I’ll break those ropes with easeD’lilah, you’re beggin’ "Tell me please"D’lilah, you think I’m Achilles, my heel you’ll find

Tried to give you misdirectionThen those men they came aroundLike a fool, I spilled my guts to youYou shaved my head and now I’m bound

[chorus]

I’ll make the best of my situationSince I’ve been called to entertainSo I pray, Lord give me strength todayCrush them so my life’s not in vain

[chorus]

( 39 ) Don t Eat From ItParody of: Do-Wah-DidiAs Performed By: Manford Mann

There she was a-just-a woman named-a EveGod said "Don’t eat from it, no not from this special tree"If you do you will a-forever grieveGod said "Don’t eat from it, no not from this special tree"It looks good (looks good)It looks fine (looks fine)It looks sweet (looks sweet)If you eat it, cost your life

Serpent told her that the Lord was wrongGod said "Don’t eat from it, no not from this special tree"Serpent said the fruit would make her brain real strongGod said "Don’t eat from it, no not from this special tree"

It looks good (looks good)It looks fine (looks fine)It looks sweet (looks sweet)If you eat it, cost your life

Ohhh-oh, oh, oh, ohWhat was it she was thinkin of?oh, oh, oh, ohHad she forgotten all about the Lord’s love?

So now the garden’s missing Adam and, yes, EveGod said "Don’t eat from it, no not from this special tree"’Cause they disobeyed and ate fruit from the treeGod said "Don’t eat from it, no not from this special tree"It looks good (looks good)It looks fine (looks fine)It looks sweet (looks sweet)If you eat it, cost your life

Ohhh-oh, oh, oh, ohWhat was it she was thinkin of?oh, oh, oh, ohHad she forgotten all about the Lord’s love?

There she was a-just-a woman named-a EveGod said "Don’t eat from it, no not from this special tree"If you do you will a-forever grieveGod said "Don’t eat from it, no not from this special tree"It looks good (looks good)It looks fine (looks fine)It looks sweet (looks sweet)If you eat it, cost your life

( 40 ) Do You Taunt Old Noah s Sea Ship?Parody of: Do You Want to Know a Secret?As Performed By: The Beatles

You’ll never know if the story’s really trueCovered the Earth, with a thick water lair?

ListenDo you taunt old Noah’s sea ship?Is it flawed too much oh well? Oh no, no

Page 21

UnsureYet the Bible is so clearWater covered all this sphereAnd the dove she knew

GlistenAll the rain on Noah’s sea shipAnd God’s promise looked so swell, Rainbow-oh

ClosureThere were goats, and lambs, and deerWaiting for the sky to clearYou’ve heard of this zoo

’Round Noah’s sea ship ’bout a year or twoMuch water flows, God saves few

GlistenAll the rain on Noah’s sea shipAnd God’s promise looked so swell, Rainbow-oh

ClosureThere were goats, and lambs, and deerWaiting for the sky to clearYou’ve heard of this zoo

( 41 ) Eastern StarParody of: You and MeAs Performed By: Alice Cooper

Joseph and Mary, they were gonna have a babyAn angel shared with them just who their son would beYes He will take men to heavenWhen the prophecy’s complete

Chorus:Following an eastern starMagi came from quite afarThey brought him gifts: myrrh, gold, frankincenseJust enough for the Son of ManFor what He gives, no one else can,God’s love for man, this shows it is immense

On their way to see the child, the Magi had talked to Herod

They didn’t know it but this meant sure death in cold bloodA dream warned all of these wise men: not to see Herod again

[chorus]

The Magi were no-shows, Herod absolutely flippedJoseph, Mary, and Jesus went down to EgyptBut those poor boys in Bethlehem,Herod had them all done in

[chorus]

One day down in Egypt, Angels told of Herod’s deathSo Joseph packed up and headed for NazarethAnd as the prophets had forseenJesus would be Nazarene

[chorus]

( 42 ) Elijiah Found the Sidon WidowParody of: She Came In Through The Bathroom WindowAs Performed By: The Beatles

Elijiah found the Sidon WidowDirected there one afternoonNow would she make some bread he wondersSaid she can’t, cause she’s dying soon

Didn’t then Elijiah tell herFirst make some bread for meSome way in your home’s a buffetThis way the Lord’s shown to me

He said the flour it would last herThe oil would be there all her daysAnd though it might be a disasterShe does, as Elijiah says

And so he lived in her apartmentThen one day with a real big sobFor her son’s life Elijiah would pleaDeath he’d heal, so it would not rob Didn’t then Elijiah tell herFirst make some bread for me

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Some way in your home’s a buffetThis way the Lord’s shown to me

( 43 ) Every Breath You TakeParody of: Every Breath You TakeAs Performed By: The Police

Every breath you takeEvery move you makeEvery bond you breakEvery step you takeHe is watching you

Every single dayEach bad word you sayEvery game you playEvery truth you grayHe is watching you

You know it’s trueJesus died for youHow His poor heart achesWhen His will we forsake

Every move you makeEvery vow you breakEvery smile you fakeEvery claim you stakeHe is watching you

Since He’s comeWe have all been saved by graceHe cleansed our sins and he has left not a traceI’ve looked around but His love you can’t replaceWhen I’m alone then I long for His embraceI keep crying Jesus, Jesus, please

You know it’s trueJesus died for youHow His poor heart achesWhen His will we forsake

Every move you makeEvery vow you breakEvery smile you fakeEvery claim you stakeHe is watching you

Every move you make

Every step you takeHe is watching you

He is watching you

( 44 ) EverybodyParody of: EverybodyAs Performed By: The Backstreet Boys

EverybodyFollow JesusEverybodyGot to see the lightChrist’s the King alright

For our God, we’re rockin’ stillBrothers, sisters, everybodyPraise the Saviour, show you howI’ve gotta question, better answer now

Is He original? (yeah)Is He the only one? (yeah)Is He inside of you? (yeah)Is He everything you need?You better join Christ’s body now

EverybodyFollow JesusEverybodyGot to see the lightChrist’s the King alright(alright)

Now throw your hands up in the airraise them high to show you careIf you wanna party let me hear you yell’cause God’s makin’ room way up there

Is He original? (yeah)Is He the only one? (yeah)Is He inside of you? (yeah)Is He everything you need?You better join Christ’s body now

EverybodyFollow JesusEverybodyGot to see the lightChrist’s the King alright

Page 23

(alright)

So, everybody, everywhereDon’t be afraid, don’t have no fearGonna tell the world, make it understandBetter get ready: Jesus will be coming back again

EverybodyFollow JesusEverybodyGot to see the lightChrist’s the King...EverybodyFollow JesusEverybodyGot to see the lightChrist’s the King alright

( 45 ) Eye On The ViperParody of: Eye Of The TigerAs Performed By: Survivor

Walkin’ through, the desert heatAll the time, slow advancesSole existence Is this sweet manna treatWonder when, in Canaan, they’ll arrive

Faith in God, it just didn’t lastGuess they’d forgotten ’bout His gloryTook a snake, Moses put on a mastAnd it’s sight that would keep them alive

Keep your eye on the viper’Cause you’re ill from the biteNumbers 21:9 in the BibleSnake’s a cast bronze revivalMoses made for the blightSo now before you die set yourEye on the viper

Pace and pace, out in the heatNot enough, claim they’re hungryThey griped at GodThis stuff we cannot eatSo snakes kill, made ’em ill, can’t survive

Keep your eye on the viper’Cause you’re ill from the bite

Numbers 21:9 in the BibleSnake’s a cast bronze revivalMoses made for the blightSo now before you die set yourEye on the viper

So they begged, dear God make this stopWe were nuts, change the storyNeed assistanceOr else we’re gonna dropIf you can, won’t you help us survive?

Keep your eye on the viper’Cause you’re ill from the biteNumbers 21:9 in the BibleSnake’s a cast bronze revivalMoses made for the blightSo now before you die set yourEye on the viper

Your eye on the viperYour eye on the viperYour eye on the viperYour eye on the viperYour eye on the viper

( 46 ) Fait AccompliParody of: Eight Days a WeekAs Performed By: The Beatles

Oooo you know what God gaveTo both me and youHis Son rose from the graveAs He told Eve He’d doTold Eve, boldly, some day, she’d see,Serpent’s nothin’ but dead meatFait Accompli

To this very day, worldGod has loved mankindAs his plan was unfurledCaught the devil blindTold Eve, boldly, some day, she’d see,Serpent’s nothin’ but dead meatFait Accompli

Fait AccompliJust shows how much God loves youFait Accompli

Page 24

Grace is enough to show He cares

Oooo you know what God gaveTo both me and youHis Son rose from the graveAs He told Eve He’d doTold Eve, boldly, some day, she’d see,Serpent’s nothin’ but dead meatFait Accompli

Fait AccompliJust shows how much God loves youFait AccompliGrace is enough to show He cares

To this very day, worldGod has loved mankindAs his plan was unfurledCaught the devil blindTold Eve, boldly, some day, she’d see,Serpent’s nothin’ but dead meatFait Accompli

Fait AccompliFait AccompliFait Accompli

( 47 ) Fields of BoazParody of: Land Down UnderAs Performed By: Men At Work

Long ago there was a famineSo Eli took his wife and sonsTo a better place, that could support himBut he died there along with his sons

Chorus:She gleens in the fields of BoazAmazing beauty yes she hasLeave some, Leave some grain in her paths’Cause she’s adored by master Boaz

You should not come said NaomiYou should stay here with your familyIn Bethlehem you’re aloneYou won’t find a man of your own

[chorus]

[instrumental]

So Ruth she stayed with NaomiAnd she went on a gleening spreeShe gives Naomi all she hasAnd she even married kinsman Boaz

[Chorus 3x]

( 48 ) Fishin The Day AwayParody of: MargaritavilleAs Performed By: Jimmy Buffet

Way out on this big lakeI’m fishin’ for Christ’s sakeEvery last person, well that is my goalSpreading the Good NewsI hope they don’t refuseTelling the lost: "just give Christ control"

Chorus:Fishin’ the day away ’cause Jesus told me toSearching for that unsaven poor soulSome people claim that they are here without blameBut I know, He can make them whole

I take lots of teasin’Whatever the reason,Nothing can stop me from talking to youChrist gave me a missionCalled the great commissionMark 16:15 says what I should do

[chorus]

[instrumental]

In 4:19 Matthew,To Peter and AndrewJesus suggested that they follow him"So put down your fishnet,although we have just met,I promise to make you both fishers of men."

[chorus]Some people claim that they are here without blameBut I know, He can make them whole

Page 25

( 49 ) Follow MeParody of: Let It BeAs Performed By: The Beatles

When Jesus left His home in Naz’rethHe began His ministryTelling His disciples"Follow Me"

They dropped what they were doingand they left their homes in GalileeAll because Christ told them"Follow Me"

(Chorus)"Follow Me, follow MeFollow Me, follow MeI will be your SaviorFollow Me"

And when He preached to all the peopleFar and near they came to seeHe gave them the answer"Follow Me"

He healed the sick and the afflictedFrom their sins He set them freeAll that He asked of them"Follow Me"

[Chorus 2x]

(Instrumental)

[Chorus]

And so He took that heavy burdenDying there on CalvaryStill today He asks us"Follow Me"

So do like Andrew, James, and PeterDo what Jesus asks of theeAnswer when He asks you"Follow Me"

[Chorus 3x]

( 50 ) Free WillParody of: Free BirdAs Performed By: Lynyrd Skynyrd

If the Lord came back tomorrowCould you join the jubilee?Would he say that "I don’t know you"?And then say "depart from me"?

’Cause He died to save the whole worldAnd He told us what to doStill He’s given you a free willNow the choice is up to youNow the choice is up to youNow the choice is up to youYes, He left it up to you

When you die the Lord will judge youIf His child you could not beThen He’ll give you one real hot clueHow you’ll spend eternity

’Cause He died to save the whole worldAnd He told us what to doStill He’s given you a free willNow the choice is up to youNow the choice is up to youNow the choice is up to youYes, He left it up to youYes, He left it up to you

It’s your free willIt’s your free, free, free, free, free, free will

( 51 ) Give BackParody of: Get BackAs Performed By: The Beatles

Prophet Malachi gave Is-ra-el a warningSaid to give our very bestDo now as God says and do it without mourningand your life is very blest

(chorus)

Give back,Give back,Give back, to Him it all belongs

Page 26

Give back,Give back,Give back, to Him it all belongs

(repeat chorus)

Just remember this, your treasures are in HeavenAs the prophets do attestSo offer to the Lord all that He has asked of usNever just your second best

[chorus 2x]

OhhGive back Is-ra-elYour Father’s waiting for youSending His only SonDyin’ on the cross, too!Give back Is-ra-el

( 52 ) Glad I ve Got You Into My LifeParody of: Got to Get You Into My LifeAs Performed By: the Beatles

I should have known, I could have friedI didn’t know ’cause I was blind, yeahA heavy load, it made me cry, You didn’t seem to mind my bind there

Oooh, then by grace I accept youOooh, now I forever need youPraise God that You’re here in my life

You didn’t shun, did not denyYou knew I wanted to be mold newI am your pawn and just in time, forgave my sinFor I had chose You

Oooh, I repent and You’re in meOooh, and I want You to steer mePraise God that You’re here in my life

Glad I’ve got You into my life

All I can do, all I can beWith You in me we are one great pair

I know it’s true, You’ll never leaveI am renewed and I am your heir

Oooh, I repent and You’re in meOooh, and I want You to steer mePraise God that You’re here in my life



I should have known, I could have friedI didn’t know ’cause I was blind, yeahA heavy load, it made me cry, You didn’t seem to mind my bind thereOooh, then by grace I accept youOooh, now I forever need you

( 53 ) God Created a ManParody of: I Can Make You a ManAs Performed By: Rocky Horror Picture Show

A Leaky saying slimey compoundswill expand into our race,Bones picked from the groundAnd strewn parts and limbs, help us determine kinThey get from their chores a theory that has flawsBut they won’t listen, it seemsAnd their message, it just sounds a bit extremeWith no link from betweenThen came along man, (oh dummy!)

But they’re wrong man!

Deletes suspicious, awry thingsAnd fossilized dregsTry to build up mans’s shoulders, his chest, arms, and legsSuch an effort, if they only knew of God’s planIn just six short days,God created a man

They’ll do dress-ups and clean-upsAnd they’ll patch up their workThey think that Christians, must all be jerks

Page 27

What they’re believing, I just don’t understand’Cause in just six short days, God created a man.

( 54 ) God Is Still AroundParody of: The Boys Are Back In TownAs Performed By: Thin Lizzy

Guess what the papers said today?God died or maybe just went awayNot been around, had much to sayBut man I think those dudes are plain crazy.God’s everywhere, just look around,Right in my heart He can be foundIn my song you can hear His soundYou must agree it’s amazing

Our God is still around (God is still around),Our God is still around (God is still around),Our God is still around (God is still around),God is still around (God is still around).

He’s the reason the skies are blue,The sun shines bright along with the stars and the cres-cent moon.You gotta wonder what he could’ve done with just one more day,He’s so creative.So you think that he was just passin’ throughwell my friend, let me give you one really big clue He still cares a lot for youIt’s not hard to believe because it’s true.

Our God is still around (God is still around),Our God is still around (God is still around),Our God is still around (God is still around),God is still around (God is still around).

Spread the word around, God is still around.Spread the word around...

So you think we’re evolutionary slimeand we crawled up from the grimeYeah, like that happens all the timeIf you believe that I’ve got a bridge I want to sell youThe music of the spheres is coming on so very strongJesus is coming back soon it won’t be long’til Jesus comesBecause our God is still around

Our God is still around (God is still around),Our God is still around (Our God is still around),Our God is still around (God is still around),Our God is still around (God is still around).

( 55 ) God is the ReasonParody of: Show Me The ReasonAs Performed By: The Backstreet Boys

(God is the reason for being holy)

God sent His son, just to show His loveThe crown of thorns and the crimson bloodIf you believe, you’ll receive, no maybesTiny sins, so soon becomean offense to God’s own SonBlots on your heart, you want none

I tell you...

[Chorus]God is the reason for being holy.He set the standard, He’s sinless only.Tell you what, to trust Him is really smartMake sure He’s always in your heart.

We’ve all sinned, fallen short of HimHe came to save souls not to condemnWho’s righteous then? No not men.But righteousness, through faith from Godhas been made known, apart from lawHe’ll cleanse your heart of every flaw.

I tell you...


There’s nowhere to runYou have no place to goSurrender your heart, body, and soul"How can it be?" you’re asking meYou know God’s love can set you free.

Is He missing in your heart?

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Take Him in, to trust Him is really smart.


God is the reason for being holy.He set the standard, He’s sinless only.Tell you what, to trust Him is really smartMake sure He’s always in your heart.

( 56 ) God Only KnowsParody of: God Only KnowsAs Performed By: The Beach Boys

I did not always love HimBut once He forgave me of my sinThere is no doubt in my mindthat I can see now, I was blind

God only knows what I’d be without Him.

He will not ever leave meHe’s with us forever, believe meThe world now means nothing to meHe’s opening Heaven to me


(God only knows what I’d be without Him.)

He will not ever leave meBecause He said "You must receive me"The world now means nothing to meSince He gave his life to save me


God only knows what I’d be without Him.(God only knows what I’d be without Him.)

(Repeat 6x)

( 57 ) God s Filled YaParody of: GodzillaAs Performed By: The Blue Oyster Cult

Day of Pentecost gave us with a vi-o-lent soundThe Holy Spirit like fire all around

Perplexed people thought them drunk or insaneSaid "My God, aren’t they Galilean?"

Peter made a fuss, guess he did astoundJesus Christ 3,000 people found

So go, preach to all the globe, ya know God’s filled yaSo go, Jesus woke the soul, ya know God’s filled ya

His story tell again and againHow Jesus Christ can forgive all your sin(God Filled Ya)

( 58 ) Godly LivinParody of: Easy LivinAs Performed By: Uriah Heep

This is the thing I’ve been praying for,It’s called Godly livin’You offered grace and forevermore, I have been for-givenGodly livin and I’ve been forgivenSince You’ve taken your place in my heart

Long before in my lonely life I had tried without youDay after day I had walked alone, thinking it was all throughGoodly livin and I’d be forgivenwith that cold empty place in my heart

Waiting...watching...doing whatever I mayDreaming...thinking...good works would be the only wayto some Godly livin’

Somewhere along the lonely road I had finally found youDay after day I now follow you and I walk beside youGodly livin’ and I’ve been forgivenSince you’ve taken your place in my heart

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( 59 ) Hard Way s RightParody of: Hard Day s NightAs Performed By: The Beatles

You know the hard way’s right, if you’re a-wantin’ to see GodYou know the hard way’s right, that is the path you want to trodSo when your roaming is through, you’ll find the path that is trueIs on the road that’s not wide

You know the narrow gate, is very tiny and challengingBut it’s worth it ’cause it is the way, to meet our Savior, Lord, and KingSo while on Earth you’ve been thrown, follow the path Christ has shownYou know it is the way

Take the road, the one that’s not a-very wideThrough the gate, even though it is so tight, tight yeah!

You know the hard way’s right, if you’re a-wantin’ to see GodYou know the hard way’s right, that is the path you want to trodSo when your roaming is through, you’ll find the path that is trueIs on the road that’s not wideOwww!

(instrumental)

So while on Earth you’ve been thrown, follow the path Christ has shownYou know it is the way

Take the road, the one that’s not a-very wideThrough the gate, even though it is so tight, tight yeah!

You know the hard way’s right, if you’re a-wantin’ to see GodYou know the hard way’s right, that is the path you want to trodSo when your roaming is through, you’ll find the path that is trueIs on the road that’s not wide

So take the road that’s not wideAnd use the gate that is tight

( 60 ) He Died For YouParody of: Everything I DoAs Performed By: Bryan Adams

Look into my heart, you will seesuch a change in mein my life, in my soulwhen found Him I searched no more

don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ foryou can’t tell me He’s not worth dyin’ foryou know it’s true, for life anewHe died for you

look into my heart, you will findthat He is there insidetook me as I am, paid the pricewhen He saved me by His sacrifice

don’t tell me it’s not worth fighting forI can’t help it there’s nothing I want moreyou know it’s true, for life anewHe died for you

there’s no love like Christ’s loveand no other could give more loveThere’s no other wayunless He’s thereall the timeall the way

(Instrumental)

oh you can’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ forI can’t help it there’s nothing I want more

yeah I’d fight for Himbow down to Himteach the world for Himyeah, I’d die for Him

you know it’s truefor life anewHe died for youHe died for you

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( 61 ) Hear, They re My Every CareParody of: Here, There, and EverywhereAs Performed By: The Beatles

To spare me lots of strife, I tell my Lord what I fear...

Hears, taking away all my fearsChanging my life so that I understandI know He can supply all my needs through prayer

They’re, nothing to God still He caresOh Jesus nothing should matter to meAll I am seeking, my Lord I know He will share

He shares my every care, and if He’s inside meI know I need just one prayerAnd He hears it and He takes my every careKnowing His love’s always thereAnd I’m believing the Lord is so wiseOh what a surprise, I’m coping with all my cares

He shares my every care, and if He’s inside meI know I need just one prayerAnd He hears it and He takes my every careKnowing His love’s always thereAnd I’m believing the Lord is so wiseOh what a surprise, I’m coping with all my cares

He’ll be there, take every careHear, they’re my every care

( 62 ) He Is God s SonParody of: Here Comes The SunAs Performed By: The Beatles

He is God’s SonHe is God’s Son, and the wayThe truth, life

Simon Peter, who is this man that they will inter?Simon Peter, is this Elijiah who’s come back here?"He is God’s Son,He is God’s Son" and Christ saysYou are right

Simon Peter, he followed Christ to many placesSimon Peter, it’s John the Baptist so you hearHe is God’s Son

He is God’s Son, and the wayThe truth, life

Son, Son, Son, He’s the oneSon, Son, Son, He’s the oneSon, Son, Son, He’s the oneSon, Son, Son, He’s the oneSon, Son, Son, He’s God’s Son

Simon Peter, on you the Church Jesus is buildingSimon Peter, in a few years all will be clearHe is God’s SonHe is God’s Son, and the wayThe truth, life

He is God’s SonHe is God’s SonThe truth, lifeHe’s the life

( 63 ) He ll Save Your Soul, ManParody of: Soul ManAs Performed By: The Blues Brothers

Verse 1:

Comin’ at you, from CalvaryDied on the cross, to set you freeIt’s real easy, to believe in himjust one prayer, forgives all your sin

Chorus:

He’ll save your soul, manHe’ll save your soul, manHe’ll save your soul, manHe’ll save your soul, man

Verse 2:

He saved our lives, the hard waySo live for him, each and every dayYou’ve got to put, your trust in himEternal life, is what you’ll win

{Chorus}

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Verse 3:

He’s the coolest guy, he can’t be beatSo share his love, with everyone you meetI was educated, by his wordSaved by grace, haven’t you heard?

{Chorus}

Bridge:

Give him your life, forevermoreHe’ll give you hope, and be your lord and savior

{Chorus}

He’ll save your soul, manHe’ll save your soul, man

( 64 ) He s So Hairy, Jacob s BrotherParody of: He Ain t Heavy, He s My BrotherAs Performed By: The Hollies

When Jake was born,By hair he was unadornedBut Esau the heir, had hair, everywhere

Jake grabbed his heel’Cause born second’s a bad deal

He’s so hairy, Jacob’s brother

So up they grewJake sold him a pot of stewEsau was hungry,His birthright, was the fee

When dad died,"I am Esau" Jake lied

He’s so hairy, Jacob’s brother

Jake was frightened by allEsau’s anger and madnessSo he skipped out of townbut that brought on a sadnessJacob loved, his hairy brother

Back on the road, reached the point of no returnEsau’s on his way, to there, Jacob’s scaredBut Jake’s bro’ did not hold a grudge at allHe’s so hairy, Jacob’s brother

( 65 ) Headed For HellParody of: Bat Out of HellAs Performed By: Meatloaf

The demons are screaming and the fires are howlingin the pit of eternal night.There’s the strong stench of sulphur, brings a tear to your eyewhen you finally realize your plightThere’s evil in the air and there’s thunder in sky,and the devil’s actin’ none too sweetOh and down in the fire where the dead they are lyin’You know I swear I heard the rich man, startin’ to grumble,He was starting to groan from the heat

Oh, Jesus was the only thing in this whole worldthat’s pure, and good, and rightLet Him into your heart and wherever you go,everything will be all rightBut you can’t shut Him out,You’ve got to let Him in now,and confess all that you’ve done wrongSo you gotta make the choice of your one life my brotherWhen it’s over you know, eternity is so long

Don’t be headed for hellon the day when the Savior comesWhen your life is over, don’t be headed for hell,’cause that’s wrong, wrong, wrongDon’t be headed for hellon the day when the Savior comesSo when that day comes and the Son comes downand the wrath of God comes trueDon’t be the sinner before the gates of HeavenWhom Christ claims He never knew

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You know I’ve hit the highway with my Bible in handand I offer Jesus Christ’s invite’Cause the message is hot and the people are hungryand we’re all about to see the lightI must introduce the love God will producewhenever He receives the lostSo trust upon the rock,and He will save your soul’cause He’s already paid the cost

But you’re gonna be damned if you don’t let Him inand have Him forgive all your sinSo you’ve got to pray now and ask Him into your heartBefore the Lord comes back again

You know you’re gonna be damned, oh yes you’re gonna be damned,if He’s not inside of youYes, you’re gonna be damned though you don’t wanna be damned,gonna be damned though you don’t wanna be damned,gonna be damned though you don’t wanna be damnedif He’s not inside,if He’s not inside,if He’s not inside of you

Oh, Jesus was the only thing in this whole worldthat’s pure, and good, and rightLet Him into your heart and wherever you go,everything will be all rightBut you can’t shut Him out,You’ve got to let Him in now,and confess all that you’ve done wrongSo you gotta make the choice of your one life my brotherWhen it’s over you know, eternity is so long

Don’t be headed for hellon the day when the Savior comesWhen your life is over, don’t be headed for hell,’cause that’s wrong, wrong, wrongDon’t be headed for hellon the day when the Savior comesSo when that day comes and the Son comes downand the wrath of God comes trueDon’t be the sinner before the gates of HeavenWhom Christ claims He never knewDon’t be the sinner before the gates of Heaven

Whom Christ claims He never knew

Don’t be led astray, walkin’ the wide road,thinkin’ God really doesn’t matter anyhowThough your sins are great and you’ve done much wrongJesus Christ can save you now you can escape hell’s fate’Cause He died on the cross for youSo you better let Him into your heart ’fore it’s way too late

So you better let Him into your heart ’fore it’s way too late

When you’re dying at the bottom of a pit in the lake of fireTorn and twisted and your soul cries out its desireAnd you’ll wish somebody’d relieve the pain for a spellIt’s too late to ask Christ in your heartit’s fleetingShould’a joined in Christ’s body and you’d-a been sparedand not be headed for hell

When you’re dying at the bottom of a pit in the lake of fireTorn and twisted and your soul cries out its desireAnd you’ll wish somebody’d relieve the pain for a spellIt’s too late to ask Christ in your heartit’s fleeting, it’s fleetingShould’a joined in Christ’s body and you’d-a been sparedand not be headed for helland not be headed for helland not be headed for hellDon’t be headed for hellDon’t be headed for hell

( 66 ) HeavenParody of: HeavenAs Performed By: Bryan Adams

Once into your life you’ve accepted HimHe will turn your life around,when inside your heart He’s found.Cleanse all of your soul, all through and through.

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Of your sins He bids adieu,forgotten now, in the Book of Life He’s put you.

Jesus is all that you need, just accept Him into your heart.Eternal life you’ll receive, up in Heaven.Christ is the one that you seek,but you have to do your own part,You’ve got to let Him know now, you want Heaven.

Walking on the path that’s away from sinthere’s no better way to show, We’re forgiven now, white as snow.One day to His home He’ll invite us in,Oh, what glory that will be,accept Him now, so you can be there with me.


He’s been waiting oh so long,to cleanse you of your sin,His love it is that strong.So I hope that you will see,that His grace is all you need,and He gives it all for free.


Jesus is all that you need, just accept Him into your heart.He’s all that you want, He’s all that you need...

( 67 ) Heaven Is So NiceParody of: Wouldn t It Be NiceAs Performed By: The Beach Boys

Heaven is so nice, I want to go thereIt’s a shame we have to wait so longJesus promised us He went to prepare

Many mansions, to us they’d belong

Saint John described it there in RevelationsIt is the greatest of all God’s creations

Heaven is so nice, why don’t you join me?We could cruise along the Crystal SeaPlease ensure that you are in God’s familyHeaven is the place that we will be

Saint John described it there in RevelationsIt is the greatest of all God’s creationsHeaven is so nice

So if you pray and ask Jesus inside of you, it will come trueAnd up above, He will make sure that He has got some room for youAnd we’d be in Heaven, and then we’d be happyAnd we’d be in Heaven, and then we’d be happyHeaven is so nice

You know it seems the more we read about it,It only seems like a short glimpse or visit,I believe you must admit,Heaven is so nice

( 68 ) Hip To Love GodParody of: Hip To Be SquareAs Performed By: Huey Lewis and the News

I used to be a renegade, a bad dude I’ve been.I was afraid of the punishment, for livin’ this life of sin.Now I’m playing it really straight, it might seem kind of oddYou might think I’m crazy, or out of my pod,I just want to let the whole world know:

It’s hip to love God.It’s hip to love God.

I like praise bands and prayer groups, I read His Word each dayI find new ways to share His love, ’cause He’s the only way.

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Everywhere folks are coming ’round, from L.A. to Cape Cod.It’s not so crazy, it’s not just a facade,there is no denying that

It’s hip to love God.It’s hip to love God.It’s hip to love God.It’s hip to love God.

(Instrumental)

It’s not so hard to figure out, it only takes His grace.He’ll wash away all of your sins, cleansed, without a trace.The Good News is attracting, it’s like a lightening rod.So don’t you try to fight it, you should just give Him the nod.Don’t tell me that I’m crazy, or some kind of fraud,Take it from me,

It’s hip to love God.It’s hip to love God.It’s hip to love God.It’s hip to love God.

( 69 ) Holy HolyParody of: Mony MonyAs Performed By: Billy Idol

Jesus is the man ’cause He’s holy, holy.Dis’d the Devil and denied him boldly.He saved my soul and I feel all right now.He’s got me singing His praises every dayI just have to say

I say yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)Well he makes me feel (holy, holy)So Right (holy, holy)Yeah (holy, holy)No Blight (holy, holy)So Godly (holy, holy)Righteous (holy, holy)Sin free (holy, holy)I just have to shout

I say yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Jesus doesn’t sin ’cause He’s holy holy.Died on the cross because He loves us wholly.I want to be like Him, live my life so fully.He’s coming back some day and I will join Himsaid I will join Him

I say yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)Well he makes me feel (holy, holy)So Right (holy, holy)Yeah (holy, holy)No Blight (holy, holy)So Godly (holy, holy)Righteous (holy, holy)Sin free (holy, holy)I just have to shout

I say yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Jesus is so holy, holy, holyJesus is so holy, holy, holyJesus is so holy, holy, holyJesus is so holy, holy, holyI say Yeah (yeah), Yeah (Yeah),yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Everybody,Live so Godly,Everybody,Live so Godly,Everybody,Live so Godly,Everybody,Praise His name,I say Yeah (yeah), Yeah (Yeah),yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)Well he makes me feel (holy, holy)So Right (holy, holy)Oh Yeah (holy, holy)No Blight (holy, holy)So Godly (holy, holy)

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Righteous (holy, holy)Sin free (holy, holy)I just have to shout

I say yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

( 70 ) Hung TogetherParody of: Come TogetherAs Performed By: The Beatles

Simon, Judas, Thaddaeus, and Andrew, Philip and Bartholomew (ooh),Thomas, James, and MatthewSimon, James and then Johnny,Jesus told these guys that "You must all follow me"

He was the saviorHe was straight from heavenHe had all the answersThey knew He could save themHe said "Yes, the truth will set you free.So stop what you are doing, come here and follow Me"

Hung together, ’cause He said, "Follow Me"

He taught them dailyShowed them signs and wondersGave them blessed sermonsForgave all their blundersHe said "With faith as big as a mustard seedYou could eas-i-ly transport a mulberry tree!"


(Instrumental)

Simon, Judas, Thaddaeus, and Andrew, Philip and Bartholomew (ooh),Thomas, James, and MatthewSimon, James and then Johnny,Jesus told these guys that "You must all follow me"


Hung togetherHung together

Hung togetherHung together

( 71 ) I Love God a LotParody of: Hot, Hot, HotAs Performed By: Buster Poindexter

Yes every day, (4x)

My one desire, my heart’s afireI love God a lotOther people, see it in meI love God a lot

I want to share, His loveliness,Grace that’s sweet, and forgivenessHis love, it does aboundMy heart, is where he’s found

Since He sent His Son Son Son SonYeah sent His Son Son Son SonI love God a lotI love God a lot

See people singing, and worshippingWe love God a lotFilled with the Spirit, to Him we submitWe love God a lot

He came to Earth, for all mankindAll our sins, to Him assignedHow great His love for meAs shown on Calvary

Since He sent His Son Son Son SonYeah sent His Son Son Son SonI love God a lotI love God a lot

Yes every day, (4x)Yes every day, (4x)

( 72 ) I m a BelieverParody of: I m a BelieverAs Performed By: The Monkees

I’m A Believer(Tune: I’m a Believer, Monkees version)

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(Verse 1)I thought God was just a real big fairy tale.Meant for someone else but not for me.Ah, God was out to get me,seemed to be his plan.When He came to Earth as mortal man.

(Chorus)’Cause He took my place, now I’m a believer.Saved by grace, no doubt in my mind.By God’s love, oh, I’m a believerI’ve got the fever, I’m on fire.

(Verse 2)I’d thought Christ was just a part of history.It never seemed to matter much to me.His story I’m not buying,It seemed to be a strain.That He bought salvation with his pain.


(Verse 3)You don’t get there by trying.By works you can’t obtain,everlasting life in His domain.


( 73 ) It s Not ThereParody of: She s Not ThereAs Performed By: Santana

Although I knew all about Him,I still denied.Didn’t know things were so grim,that is until I died.

But it’s too late to ask forgiveness,no excuses, He doesn’t care.In His book my name is absent,

it’s not there.

Well let me tell you about Him,before you die.and He will pencil your name inthe book of life.

It’s not too late to ask forgiveness,if you do it, do it today.There’s no other way to heavenHe’s the way!

Well let me tell you ’bout undying loveamazing grace, and that He’s everywhereYou must accept Him nowHe’ll add you to the listSo your name’s there.

Soon it’s too late to ask forgiveness,no excuses, He doesn’t care.In His book don’t you try to find itit’s not there.

Well let me tell you ’bout undying loveamazing grace, and that He’s everywhereYou must accept Him nowHe’ll add you to the listSo your name’s there.

( 74 ) Jesus Loves MeParody of: Groovy Kind of LoveAs Performed By: Phil Collins

Jesus he loves me, this one thing I knowThe Bible tells me so, loves me even thoughTo Him I belong, even when I’m wrongAlthough I am weak, He is so strongUnconditionallyJesus He loves meFor the Bible tells me so

Jesus He loves me, oh yes still todayWalking beside me, all along the wayWanting as a friend, everyone who livesOffers life no end, light and love He givesUnconditionallyJesus He loves meFor the Bible tells me so

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Jesus he loves me, this one thing I knowThe Bible tells me so, loves me even thoughTo Him I belong, even when I’m wrongAlthough I am weak, He is so strongUnconditionallyJesus He loves meFor the Bible tells me so

You know the Bible tells me soYou know the Bible tells me soYou know the Bible tells me so

You know the Bible tells me so

( 75 ) Jesus Made Me WholeParody of: I Love Rock n RollAs Performed By: Joan Jett & The Black-hearts

It seemed to me my life was so very empty,I needed something more, that much I could see.I knew something was wrong, (the) feeling was too strong.So I looked around to see whatever there was to see.Just to find the thing that would, would make my life complete.

(singin’)Jesus made me whole,Filled me to the top and I don’t mean maybe.Jesus made me whole,He’s with me all the time and completes me.

All I have to do is call His name.Then all my problems shrink and they seem so tame.No matter where I roam, I never am alone.Because I know He’s there, He is right there, by me.Yes He is aware of everything I need.


(Instrumental)

No matter where I roam, I never am alone.

Because I know He’s there, He is right there, by me.Yes He is aware of everything I need.


Jesus made me whole,Filled me to the top and I don’t mean maybe.Jesus made me whole,He’s with me all the time and completes me.

repeat...

( 76 ) Johnny BParody of: Johnny B. GoodeAs Performed By: Chuck Berry

Way out there in the desert lived a man, no sloth.His clothes were kind’a weird, no not the finest cloth.Preached a mighty sermon with a radical twist,dipped ’em into water, that was John the Baptist.His mother, Liz, she said that he would light the way,for his cousin who’s the son of Joseph and Mary.

Go go, go Johnny go,Go, go Johnny go,Go, go Johnny go,Go, go Johnny go,Go, prepare the way.

Used to preach all of his sermons by the river’s side.Lived on bugs and honey they were raw, not fried.Said we had to ask God to forgive our sin,when underneath the water he would dip you in.One day Jesus asked him just to do the same,even though poor Johnny thought that this was really lame.


(Instrumental)

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One day Herod’s lover she was quite irate,She wanted Johnny’s head upon a silver plate.Guess she really wanted this one wish fulfilled,So Herod told her yes and he had Johnny killed.Still it didn’t matter, John had done his job,and now he’s up in heaven right alongside God.


( 77 ) Josephine (Karl s Song)Parody of: MaybelineAs Performed By: Chuck Berry

Chorus:

Josephine, what’s got into you?Oh, Josephine, here’s one big cluePsalms one-hundred fifty tells us what to do

verse 1:I thought I was playing with considerable skillBut poor Josephine thought the sound was shrillI was praising God in a hard rock modeJosephine heard it from her humble abodeDecible meter hittin’ one-oh-fiveGuess that she thought she would never survive

[Chorus]

verse 2:The crowd was screamin’ and yellin’ for moreBut that just made Josephine real soreShe called the law but it was in vane,Had let them know that our Lord was slainShe climbed on stage, didn’t think she wouldSo I calmed her down as best I could

[Chorus]

(Instrumental)

[Chorus]

Like David got down in Bethlehem town,I gotta praise God with a joyful sound

That I lack volume’s never left unsaidBut praising God’s intended to raise up the dead!Praising God has always given me a thrillEven though Josephine has gotten her fill

[chorus]

( 78 ) JudgementParody of: The EndAs Performed By: The Beatles

Oh are you right?Are you going to be in HeavenTonight?

(instrumental)

And in the endGod will judge menAnd they will pay, for their sin

( 79 ) Just To Be HolyParody of: For Your Eyes OnlyAs Performed By: Sheena Easton

Just to be holy, I need my heart set rightJust to be holy, it is such a delightOh, to be so much like You, so cleanse my heart anewMy life began when I accepted You

Just to be holy, only for youYou’ve seen so far inside of me, how you’ve set me freeJust to be holy, only for youThe love I know you’ve given me,will help me live so righteouslyonly for you, only for you.

Just to be holy, my spirit is aglowYou’re there inside me, that’s all I need to knowMaybe I’m an open book because you’re in my heartI couldn’t bear for us to be apart

Just to be holy, only for youYou’ve seen so far inside of me, how you’ve set me freeJust to be holy, only for youThe love I know you’ve given me,

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will help me live so righteouslyonly for you, just to be holy.

( 80 ) Letting the Son ShineParody of: Walkin on SunshineAs Performed By: Katrina and the Waves

I used to think that Jesus was in me, now I’m really sureNow He’s there inside of my heart, He made it so pureNow everytime I go out in public, you see Him in me’Cause Jesus is so very brilliant, by His light I can see

Chorus:I’m letting the Son shine, in meI’m letting the Son shine, in meI’m letting the Son shine, in meYou know that it’s good!You know that it’s good!

I used to hide my light from the world, but that was just wrongSo now I put it out on a stand, and shine it real strongAnd I tell all the people around me, Jesus is aliveHis brilliance conquers the darkness, through Him I can thrive

[chorus]You know that it’s good!

Letting the Son shineLetting the Son shine

I’ve got the Son’s shine oh oh!I’ve got the Son’s shine oh oh!

[chorus]You know that it’s good!You know that it’s good! (repeat and fade)

( 81 ) King Was SlainParody of: King of PainAs Performed By: The Police

There’s a little, small, sign on a cross today"The King of the Jews" is all the words sayAnd a big crowd gathers upon this hill-topThey all wonder when all of His pain will stop

They’ve seen him before, they must’ve thought He’d reignBut He’s nailed to the cross and in such awful painNow it looks like His life has just gone down the drainThought he would save them all, but now the King is slain

There’s a little, small, sign on a cross today(That’s our Lord up there)"The King of the Jews" is all the words say(That’s our Lord up there)And a big crowd gathers upon this hill-top(That’s our Lord up there)They all wonder when all of His pain will stop(That’s our Lord up there)


There’s a body that’s wrapped in some white grave cloth(That’s our Lord up there)There’s the Son of Man chosen to die for us all(That’s our Lord up there)There’s an impaled breach as his life signs ebb(That’s our Lord up there)There’s another guy tapped, they chose Christ instead(That’s our Lord up there)


There’s a King on the cross with his arms stretched outThere’s a kind man wishing he was more devoutThere’s a sad mom weeping ’cause her son is deadThere’s a crown of thorns jammed onto His holy head

There’s some red drops warn us of the death attackIt’s a miracle but soon He’s coming backThere’s a little, small, sign on a cross today

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"The King of the Jews" is all the words say


Rise Again!Rise Again!Rise Again!You know that He’ll rise again!You know that He’ll rise again!You know that He’ll rise again!You know that He’ll rise again!You know that He’ll rise again!

( 82 ) Lifted UpParody of: Build Me Up, ButtercupAs Performed By: The Foundations

Oh You were lifted up (lifted up) crucified, JesusThen was taken down (taken down) and put in the groundBut even then (even then) You rose again, JesusLike You said You would (said You would) You’re livin’ stillI need You (I need You), more than anything, JesusYou know that You’re there in my heartYou lift me up (lift me up) Jesus Christ, You’re in my heart

Since I asked You in, well, You forgave all my sinYou are great! You made me whole within (bah-dah-dah)You knocked at the door and now forevermoreI am saved, how wonderful You’ve been

(Hey, Hey, Hey) Jesus, Jesus, you will find(Hey, Hey, Hey) I love You lots, and You make me happy(Hey, Hey, Hey) My heart’s Your homeHow I have grown, following YouOoo-oo-ooo, Ooo-oo-ooo

Oh You were lifted up (lifted up) crucified, Jesus

Then was taken down (taken down) and put in the groundBut even then (even then) You rose again, JesusLike You said You would (said You would) You’re livin’ stillI need You (I need You), more than anything, JesusYou know that You’re there in my heartYou lift me up (lift me up) Jesus Christ, You’re in my heart

You are my God and I don’t think it’s odd that you cameTo save the whole wide world (bah-dah-dah)All I had to do was open my heart to you, evermoreOh how I need you so!

(Hey, Hey, Hey) Jesus, Jesus, you will find(Hey, Hey, Hey) I love You lots, and You make me happy(Hey, Hey, Hey) My heart’s Your homeHow I have grown, following YouOoo-oo-ooo, Ooo-oo-ooo

Oh You were lifted up (lifted up) crucified, JesusThen was taken down (taken down) and put in the groundBut even then (even then) You rose again, JesusLike You said You would (said You would) You’re livin’ stillI need You (I need You), more than anything, JesusYou know that You’re there in my heartYou lift me up (lift me up) Jesus Christ, You’re in my heart

I-I-I-I need you-oo-oo more than anything, JesusYou know that You’re there in my heartSo lift me up (lift me up) Jesus Christ, (lift me up)da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-daSo lift me up (lift me up) Jesus Christ, (lift me up)da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-daSo lift me up (lift me up) Jesus Christ, (lift me up)You’re in my heart

( 83 ) Lord Make Me WiseParody of: Behind Blue EyesAs Performed By: The Who

"What is it that you’d like?"That was God’s query

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I answered quicklyLord make me wise

Guess I could have been richOr lived a long lifeOr had a cute wifeOr any other prize

But I need Jehovah’s wisdomFor this kingdom I must leadWho needs honor, wealth, or power?I’m leading Israel’Cause I’m her king

Now that God’s made me kingThere is much to learnSo I can governLord make me wise

Give me wisdom to judgeThat is the rewardI ask of you LordPlease hear my cries

For I need Jehovah’s wisdomFor this kingdom I must leadWho needs honor, wealth, or power?I’m leading Israel’Cause I’m her king

Yes I forsook power and richesAnd God thought that was really coolThen He said "I’ve got some good newsYou will have all of those too."

Now I know what’s good and what’s evilAnd upon me people will doteBut dear Lord, please keep me humbleMay it be that I never gloat

"What is it that you’d like?"That was God’s queryI answered quicklyLord make me wise

( 84 ) Menager(ie) ArkParody of: Macarthur ParkAs Performed By: Richard Harris

Thing was God had finally had His fillThe planet’s better deadAs we fouled up our last chanceBetween animal cages what a messIn the rot I confessWe are growing mushroom plants

Chorus:Noah’s Ark is humid, dank and darkWith so many creatures all aroundThank God we’re not left out in the rainTook a lotta’ years to make itSo now mighty waves won’t break itSeems I’ll never have some rest you see, thereinOh No!

I clean stalls it’s really quite the messI’m working like a slaveWhat I’d give for a small breezeSome birds let loose to try and find some landAnd finally they’d return, with the pieces of some trees

[chorus]

There will be another stall for meAnd I will clean itOften there’s a real loud scream from meIt stinks! I mean itAnd I think I’ll whine you have been warnedIt’s really bad being Noah’s son, yeahCleaning stalls is causing lots of strife’Cause they smell so very, very, ripeI am Noah’s son

And I hope my wife, she understands, I might just lose itI want to rid this ship of its flies, this crazy zoo’s smitTo get off this thing, that’s my desireI want to see more than water and the skyOh and after the big flood of my life, yeahAfter the big flood of my lifeI’ll be dry as a boneDon’t ask yourself why, yeah

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( 85 ) Neat Shiny LightParody of: Sweet TransvestiteAs Performed By: Rocky Horror Picture Show

All they could do: stareGod said He is myFaithful Son of ManHe’s just a little bright nowBe calm and not shockedYou ought to get a dandy tan

So the Son’s outTry His new lookThe truth you now have discoveredBy the light made this wayHim you should all obeySo James, Peter, and John soon recovered

It’s just a neat shiny light,It’s sensationalTransfiguration

Bet the glow, you astoundsAnd this Christ light surroundsThey look like prophets, don’t it move thee?Oh it’s so hauntingly visualThat’s got you so enthralledIt’s like special effects in a movie

"He is shiny, just like chromeHe is not aloneWas bright so the image was blurry(Right)We’ll just pray really hardTo these guys we regardThey’re leaving, so we’d better hurry."

Well you caught God’s little chat, well how ’bout that?It may be inorganic Why the sight of this light, so daz’ling whiteIt is so positively volcanic


It shines through, rays of His light (light)

And lights up the night (night)But you must follow Jesus’ instructionYou should tell no manBecause that is the planUntil after your Lord’s resurrection


HIT IT! HIT IT!


( 86 ) New By YouParody of: Blue BayouAs Performed By: Linda Ronstadt

I’m so glad I’ve left my sins behindThey were loathesome, they were grimeNow I’m spotless, and I find, I’m new by You

Saving his soul, saving mineWorthy is the Son, I findI’m so happy all of the timeI’m new by You

No going back that way, glad to say,I’m new by YouOf your sheep, I’ll stay and I’ll always sayI’m new by You

Goodness You’ll promote, in my life noteThat I will always seekThe heavenly prize, what it impliesThat’s You in me

Oh to have You save me from sinYou’ll be with me, to the endCouldn’t be happier since,I’m new by You

Saving his soul, saving mineWorthy is the Son, I findI’m so happy all of the timeI’m new by You

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No going back that way, glad to say,I’m new by YouOf your sheep, I’ll stay and I’ll always sayI’m new by You

Goodness You’ll promote, in my life noteThat I will always seekThe heavenly prize, what it impliesThat’s You in me

Oh this world is fine, You’re insideYou’re coming soon and You’ll take your brideOn that sweet dayThank God I’ll pray, You’re on my side

Forever praise YouMy life’s anewI’m new by You

( 87 ) NinevahParody of: GodzillaAs Performed By: The Blue Oyster Cult

To prevent his vengence from coming down,God sent poor Jonah to that awful townSinful people gonna see God’s wrathIf they don’t get on the right pathJonah says that "there is no way,they’re gonna listen to what I say"

Jonah, go to Ninevah, ya know, God wills it (ooo-ooo-ooo)Jonah, don’t get on that boat, ya know, God wills it (ooo-ooo-ooo)



They threw Jonah right off that boatand he wound up right down some fishy’s throat(God willed it)

And the fish spit him up on dry landThen he satisified the Lord’s demand(God willed it)He preached to the folk there in NinevahSaid to follow God unlike Jonah(God willed it)Do as God asks, not what Jonah chose,Let the Lord handle your foes(God wills it) ( 88 ) No Other Way Is RightParody of: Another Saturday NightAs Performed By: Cat Stevens

Chorus:No other way is right,You can’t get to heavenby being good you know you can’t be savedHe won’t count how much you have given,nor care how you’ve behaved

Like all I was a sinnerAs Paul says I had come up shortYou know I had a cravin’,that my soul needed savin’to get me to that heavn’ly court

[chorus]

The Lord sent His one SonTo die for us on CalvaryHe was bruised and He was beatenMade fun of and was smittenand nailed to that awful tree

[chorus][interlude][chorus]

Because man is so sinfulGod had to offer us His graceThe only way to heaven,is just to accept himYour sins He surely will erase

[chorus 2x]

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( 89 ) No Oil, Missed Her Nice GuyParody of: No More Mister Nice GuyAs Performed By: Alice Cooper

v1.Ten girls, oh boy, they were sweet, sweet things,But they all fell asleepGuess they all snored like real old ladiesThe groom was late, you seeTheir lights grew dim, their lamps were on vaporWas quite the sceneFive girls brought more but they couldn’t shareOh no!They weren’t just mean

chorus:No oil, missed her nice guyNo oil, the lamp’s cleanNo oil, missed her nice guy(he said)Your wick’s out of steam

Then midnight came, their lamps were on vaporThey didn’t sheenFive girls sought more but they weren’t thereOh no!Brides they’d not be

[chorus]

If Jesus Christ came to Earth today,Would you live or die?Are you a part of the heavenly circle?Or a forgotten bride?

Just go to church, well that’s neat-oBut ’fore you start to dozeBe sure your lamp is filled and readyYou’d best stay on your toes

(Christ says)[Chorus 2x]

( 90 ) No RazorParody of: Highway StarAs Performed By: Deep Purple

Nobody gonna cut my hairI’m gonna let it touch the groundNobody gonna cut my hairSince that Angel came aroundOoooh it’s the source of my strengthYes I’m a NaziriteLike a lion’s power, just watch me kill the Philistines

Chorus:God said that I need itI b’lieve itYeah, it’s a wonderful thingAlright, my might, can’t take no raz-ar

Somebody done and asked my girlGuess my riddle did offendSomebody done and asked my girl’Cause they could not comprehendOooh I’m a killing machineWhat out you Philistines!Thirty men were off’dI took their clothes and everything!

[chorus](Instrumental)

Nobody gonna leave me dead1,000 tried and now are slainNobody gonna leave me deadI will cause them lots of painOooh I’m a killing machineWhat out you Philistines!With a donkey’s jaw,I killed them all now I’m thirsty!

Alt Chorus:God gave itI drank itI named itYeah it’s a marvelous springAlright, my might, can’t take no raz-ar

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(Instrumental)

Delilah went and shaved my headSo my strength was not aroundDelilah went and shaved my headThen by strong ropes I was boundOooh on the pillars I’d leanDown came everythingSo in my last hourI killed more than while still living

[chorus]

can’t take no raz-arcan’t take no raz-ar

( 91 ) Not Just a ManParody of: Solitary ManAs Performed By: Neil Diamond

I thought life was fine, ’til the time that I found HimA life of sin it had been

Then He came along,I was wrong,That’s what He taughtAccept HimBe born again

Don’t say "he’s a fraudHe’s not God,just a good man."The Bible is clearHe’s no peer, He is holyChrist is the Lord "I Am"He’s not just a manNot just a man

Yes God came to EarthLowly birth, for to save usAmazingSelfless thing

Fulfilled prophecy

that’s the key, you can trust itYes it’s trueHe’s God too



( 92 ) ObidiahParody of: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-DaAs Performed By: The Beatles

Esau’s kids they lived upon the mountain’s faceJacob’s children lived down at the baseEsau’s clan they often robbed the marketplaceOf Abraham’s line they were one real big disgrace

(chorus)Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, ObidiahTold them they were doing wrongOb-la-di, ob-la-da, ObidiahGod says you won’t be here long

Esau’s line in Edom acted very proud"We don’t need God ’cause we are so strong"So the Edomites God now has disavowedAnd to His family they will no longer belong

[chorus]

In a couple of yearswhere they built their home sweet homeIt was overrun and they were no moreI’d say they’d reaped what they’d sown

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So please don’t be like EdomGod you can’t replaceAlways let the Lord lend you a handPraise the Lord for giving you His awesome graceAnd always humble yourself this is God’s command

[chorus]

In a couple of yearswhere they built their home sweet homeIt was overrun and they were no moreI’d say they’d reaped what they’d sown

So please don’t be like EdomGod you can’t replaceAlways let the Lord lend you a handPraise the Lord for giving you His awesome graceAnd always humble yourself this is God’s command

[chorus]

I’ll tell you what,sing ob-la-di-bla-da

( 93 ) Oh Holy NightParody of: Wonderful TonightAs Performed By: Eric Clapton

The virgin Mary, in BethlehemGave birth to Jesus,Though there was no room at the InnThere in the manger, He was wrapped up tightAngels were singing Halelujah, Oh Holy Night

While shepherds were watching all of their sheepAngels announced that God’s promise He did now keepAlthough the angels, gave the shepherds a frightThey ran to see Him, and they said, "Oh Holy Night"

Yes the Son of God, has come down as man,He will make everything alrightAnd we won’t forget this Christmas day, and such a Holy Night

Joseph and Mary, along with their child

Asleep in the manger, around Him the straw is piledThey probably wondered, about His strange birth siteYet the prophecies predict this Holy NightYes the prophecies predict this Holy Night

( 94 ) Oh NoahParody of: Have You Ever Seen The Rain?As Performed By: Creedence Clearwater Revival

God told Noah long ago,There’s a flood it’s coming so,Noah,It will clean away the grime

So build an Ark, you will stay dryAll the others they will dieNoah,You’ll float above the water

Oh Noah,Though you’ve never seen it rainOh Noah,Soon you will see lots of rainComin’ down for forty days

Seems that man’s forgot the LordSo we’ll leave them overboardNoah,They will pay for all their crime

So collect each animalTwo by two, in their own stallNoah,It will be a wonder



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( 95 ) OpportunitiesParody of: Hot PatootieAs Performed By: Rocky Horror Picture Show

You’ll never happen to get it rightIt isn’t a harp, nor a halo brightIt’s really a shame, the cost is lightGain eternal life, it’s by His grace not thineYou needn’t jive around all you gotta knowMissin’ the Good News is gonna send you lowThe facts alone are showing what a rotten soul owesYou’re primed for this one featGonna do it this time

Opportunities come and goBut this one here will save your soul(repeat 3x)

Your heart saved by Him when in that tomb He dweltYour life’s kinda humbled by the death He was dealtIt oughta’ make you real sick all the pain He feltJust ask Him in your heart tonight, He won’t declineGotta’ be blunt, before it’s withdrawnBlood that’s holy’s washing all away your wrongKick the charms of the world to Him you now belongThe deal’s pretty goodDo it while you’ve the time



( 96 ) Parable WizardParody of: Pinball WizardAs Performed By: The Who/Elton John

Ever since He was a young boy,Born in a tiny stall.From Naz’reth to Golgotha,He’s set the example.I’ve never seen anyone like Him,in any meeting hall,

Cures the deaf, dumb, and blind, andteaches by parable.

He stands like a statue,you should hear the devil scream.Along with His disciples,one big mighty team.Preaches to 5,000and even fed them all.Cures the deaf, dumb, and blind, andteaches by parable.

He’s a parable wizardyou have to get His gist,a parable wizardthey’re stories with a twist.

Why do you think He does it?(I don’t know.)How is He so good?

When seas are wild and crashing,His word commands the swells,if demons overtake you,He removes their spells,Always is so righteous,He never sins at all.Cures the deaf, dumb, and blind, andteaches by parable.

He’s a parable wizardyou have to get His gist,a parable wizardthey’re stories with a twist.

To save you he is able,He is just the best.His disciples lead Him in,and He just does the rest.I’ve never seen anything like Himit’s just a miracle.Cures the deaf, dumb, and blind, andteaches by parable.

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( 97 ) ParodiesParody of: SurrenderAs Performed By: Cheap Trick

Someone told me: "Hymns are holy, that’s how the Lord wants praisedRock’s not Christian, so God won’t listen, no matter how well it’s phrasedBut changing the words of heathen songs, well, that’s the worst of allHow dare you so insult the Lord, how could you have such gall?"

Chorus:The music’s alright, the words are alrightThey just seem a little weirdParodies, parodies,Just listen to the words they say, say, say, say

Now you might think I need a shrink, these songs leave you confusedIt might amaze I mix God’s praise, with these tunes that I have usedYes you might claim that I must lack originalityIt’s like "Weird Al" with a Bible, a "Parodeity"

[Chorus] If you’d just listen you’d see my mission is to share Christ each day’Cause I want the world to know He is the only wayNo matter what the words were like in the originalHis message comes out loud and clear after my over-haul

[chorus]

[chorus w/"Parodeities" background, repeat and fade] ( 98 ) PhilemonParody of: Brown SugarAs Performed By: The Rolling Stones

Paul and Tim were in the mission fieldPreaching from a jail, therein they were sealedOnesimus knows that he must do rightGo back to his master, and behave upright

chorus:

Philemon, he’s a bad boy done goodPhilemon, now he’ll act like he should

Onesimus he probably left you hotRan away from home, now he wishes he’d notThis boy knows that he must end his flightReturn to his master, do good in the Lord’s sight

[chorus][chorus]

I’ll bet Onesimus left you real steamedAnd I’d guess you’d like to have him reamedHe’s not my slave but he’s been a giftHe’s now a brother so please heal your rift

[chorus]

I said yeah, yeah, yeah, woo!You gotta, you gotta forgive himI said yeah, yeah, yeah, woo!As God forgives your sinI said yeah, yeah, yeah, woo!

( 99 ) Phony, PhonyParody of: Mony MonyAs Performed By: Billy Idol

Their doctrine’s not sound it’s so phony, phonyThink they’re heaven bound but that’s just baloneyThey say it’s from above, but that’s not quite right, nowThey’ll soon be lost and burn in eternal nightSuch a scary sightI say yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah),yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)

Chorus:Well what they teach is (phony phony)not good (phony phony)Yeah (phony phony)They should (phony phony)Read the Bible (phony phony)Straight through (phony phony)It’ll tell (phony phony)them what to doI said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah),

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yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)

Best believe that it’s phony, phonyGot none of the Son’s testimonyPaul warned the Church that it’s not alright, nowHey don’t add stuffUse Christ’s words only, or it’s phony

I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah),yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)

[chorus]

What they teach is phony, phony, phonyTrust the Bible only, only, onlyWhat they teach is phony, phony, phonyTrust the Bible only, only, only


Everybody, everybody, everybody, everybodyRead the Bible, Read the Bible, Trust the Bible, It’s the truth


[chorus]

( 100 ) Pick It UpParody of: Lick It UpAs Performed By: Kiss

Ya wanna read so your life gets betterPaper or clad in the finest leatherLife is so short you don’t want to waste itRead it complete ’cause you can’t replace itSo take the time and read it for yourself

Pick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, oh read the BiblePick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, ooh yeahPick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, read on, read onPick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh

From Genesis on through RevelationYou’re gonna read about your salvationIt’s really neat and some parts are funny(pick it up, pick it up)

It’s all you need, so believe me sonnyJust take the time and read it for yourself

Pick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, oh read the BiblePick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, ooh yeahPick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, read on, read onPick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh

Come on - just read the Bible(just read the Bible)Ooh yeah (ooh yeah) ooh yeah (ooh yeah), yeah yeah

Pick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, oh read the BiblePick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, ooh yeahPick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh, read on, read onPick it up, pick it up, oh-oh-oh(repeat and fade)

( 101 ) Power of GodParody of: Power of LoveAs Performed By: Huey Lewis & The News

(Verse 1)The power of God is an amazing thing,Took just a week to create everything.He made man, in the image of His bod,More than amazing,that’s the power of God.

(Verse 2)Made all the planets, you and me,Calms all the waves, of a mighty sea.Looked O’er creation, said "this is good."The power of God,it’s so misunderstood.

(Chorus)You don’t need money,Don’t take fame,Don’t need a credit cardJust call His name.His grace is abounding andHis love so free,It’s something you’ve just got to see.That’s the power of God.That’s the power of God.

(Verse 3)

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First time you feel it,amazing.Next time you feel it,it sets you free.It takes no timebefore you’ve foundPower of God,really has no bound.

(Chorus)You don’t need money,Don’t take fame,Don’t need a credit cardJust call His name.His grace is abounding andHis love so free,It’s something you’ve just got to see.

(Alternate)They say that God is everywhere,yes, he’s really there.But you know what to do,just love Him through and through.You’ll find that you are thorougly awed,And feel the power of God.You’ll feel the power of God.

(Chorus)You don’t need money,Don’t take fame,Don’t need a credit cardJust call His name.His grace is abounding andHis love so free,

It’s really something,comes from above,

That’s the power,well that’s the power of...That’s the power,well that’s the power of God.

That’s the power of God.That’s the power of God.Feel the power of God.

( 102 ) Praise His NameParody of: What s Your NameAs Performed By: Lynyrd Skynyrd

It’s the greatest name that you could ever knowYou can’t ever say that "I never told you so"When you’re feeling down and there’s nowhere else to goJust call on His name whenever it’s appropos.

Praise the name, of the Lord, Praise His name.Sing real loud, child of God, ’cause there is no shame.

It’s nine AM on Sunday and I’m running lateBrush the crumbs off my shirt from the doughnut that I just ateCaught some dirty looks as I walked through the doorbut hold off on the sermon a bit I want to sing some more

Praise the name, of the Lord, Praise His name.Sing real loud, child of God, ’cause there is no shame.Praise the name, of the Lord, Praise His name.Sing real loud, child of God, ’cause there is no shame.

(Instrumental)

Praise the name, of the Lord, Praise His name.Sing real loud, child of God, ’cause there is no shame.

When I sing my songs to Him they are never blandFor I’ve seen the things that He’s done by His own handWhen that day comes and before Him, I humbly stand,He’ll say "welcome home" and take me into glory land

Praise the name, of the Lord, Praise His name.Sing real loud, child of God, ’cause there is no shame.Praise the name, of the Lord, Praise His name.Sing real loud, child of God, ’cause there is no shame.

( 103 ) Preacher ManParody of: Piano ManAs Performed By: Billy Joel

It’s nine o’clock in the Sanctu’ryThe regular crowd shuffles inThey’ve come here to learn all about the LordAnd how He can save them from sin

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They say "Son, can you preach to us solemnly,Remind us that Jesus arose,Make us sad and repent, ’till the hour is spent,and the sermon comes to a close."

La-da-da-da-da-da-daLa-didi-da-didi-da,da-dum

(they say)"Teach from His Word you’re the preacher manWords straight from God up aboveWe’ve been living our lives much too sinfullySo remind us about His love."

Now Jeff leads the songs and he sings so fine,He opens the show for meWell he really rocks out,And loves God, no doubtYes he really is something to see

As his voice echos throughout the Sanctu’ryAnd the people rise to their feetThough the music is loud, it is loved by the crowd,But he’s late on the time target sheet


The kid’s choir is singing so joyfullyEven though they’re a little off keyBut they’re cute and they’re sweetThey are quite the treatAnd they break up the monotony

And the sound guy is fighting a buzzing noiseThe projector, well it’s on the blinkThe youth pastor’s dealing with teenage boysI’d be scared if I had time to think


La-da-da-da-da-da-da

La-didi-da-didi-da,da-dum

It’s a pretty good crowd that is here todayTheir spirits I hope to elateWell I pray to see, that their wallets are freeWhen it’s time to pass ’round the plate

And the sermon booms out so forciblyInto them I’ve put God’s fearAnd they sit in the pews, while I spread Good News,But they can’t wait to get out of here



(they say)"Teach us His Word you’re the preacher manWords straight from God up aboveWe’ve been living our lives much too sinfullySo remind us about His love."

( 104 ) Preachers On TVParody of: Money For NothinAs Performed By: Dire Straits

Preachers on, preachers on the TV. [repeat 4x]

Now look at them preachers, that’s the way you do itYou preach your sermon there on channel three.They’re just workin’ their hands into your pockets"Money for nothing? You think Heaven’s free?"Now that ain’t tithin’, not the way God wants it.Lemme tell ya them guys are hogs,Spend all your cash on very fancy living,air conditioned houses for their dogs.

When God told us to "please give freely,"He thought we would use some common sense.He doesn’t need more wealthy preachersWho always seem to straddle the fence.

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"Saving souls is costin’ us money,so send another check today.""Listen friends, if you want to get to heaven,then you are gonna have to pay."


[interlude]


I shoulda’ learned to get up earlyI shoulda’ got myself to churchLook at that preacher, struttin’ for the cameraMakes me want to channel surf.Really saying nothing, just a bunch of noises.He’s bangin’ on the Bible like a chimpanzee.Oh that ain’t preaching, that’s just entertainment,money for nothing that is heavenly.


Listen here,Now that’s just beggin’ that’s the way I see itasking for money there on channel three.Airtime is expensive, no doubt about it,Maybe they can do it more efficiently?

(It’s) Money for nothing, (’cause) heaven’s free.[repeat over and over]

Preachers on, preachers on, preachers on the TV[repeat over and over]

( 105 ) Put It In a PrayerParody of: Livin On a PrayerAs Performed By: Bon Jovi

[Once upon a time,a long time agoJesus told us how to talk to the Lord.]

Peter asked Jesus what to sayTell me now my Lord, please teach me to prayIt’s tough, so tough.Jesus said "Your brain isn’t clay,But since you have asked, I’ll show you the way,no fluff, no fluff."

He said to thank the Lord for all we’ve gotSay we’ll do His will and help temptation be foughtProvide us our needs, that’s not a lotOur debts, please make them naught

Oh, have you a care?Oh, oh, put it in a prayer’Cause He’s got some love to spareOh, oh, put it in a prayer

Peter said that "I’m just a man"Jesus said "with faith, you could move a mountainno bluff, no bluff."Whatever gulf that you wish to span,Just petition the Lord, you know,you know that you can, you can.

He said to thank the Lord for all we’ve gotSay we’ll do His will and help temptation be foughtProvide us our needs, that’s not a lotOur debts, please make them naught

Oh, have you a care?Oh, oh, put it in a prayer’Cause He’s got some love to spareOh, oh, put it in a prayerPut it in a prayer

He said to thank the Lord for all we’ve gotIf we ask Him nice He’ll give what we have not.

Oh, have you a care?

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Oh, oh, put it in a prayer’Cause He’s got some love to spareOh, oh, put it in a prayer



( 106 ) RainbowsParody of: PromisesAs Performed By: Eric Clapton

It seemed to rain and rain without endGod made the water descendAnd the springs of the deep they were opened real wideExcept those in the Ark no one survived

After they spent ’bout a year in the boatThey were on ground not afloatSo then Noah he built an alter to the LordAnd the Lord was pleased by its aroma

No-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahNo-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

So God He made a big promise right then,"Never because of some men,Will I destroy all of the things that growAnd here is my covenent, the rainbow."

chorus:God made a promise, His covenentAnd He marked it by the rainbow He sentIf you doubt it, just look in the sky,That’s God’s promise the Earth will stay dry

No-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahNo-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

So when it seems that the rain just won’t endAnd that God’s not your friend,

Just keep this in mind what He told NoahAnd remember that God won’t abandon ya’

[Chorus]

No-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahNo-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahNo-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahNo-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahNo-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahNo-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah(fade)

( 107 ) Read AboutParody of: RoundaboutAs Performed By: Yes

You have to read aboutThe words will leave you with no doubtAnd cause dismay. They say:All the mourning, fighting will abound in Armaged-don valley

John used a trance, it seemsThose mean old locusts really stingVile end men pray, todayAll the mourning, fighting will abound in Armaged-don valley

Into the fiery lakeAngels come out of the sky and throw "beast" thereA while later we’ll be there and Christ is tooThousand summers we will share with life anew1-4-4 K bore the brunt, we see that to Christ they were true

Rev’lation 22Don’t seal it yet, God’s coming soonTo take us out of hereAll the mourning, fighting will abound in Armaged-don valley

Into the fiery lakeAngels come out of the sky and throw "beast" thereA while later we’ll be there and Christ is tooThousand summers we will share with life anew1-4-4 K bore the brunt, we see that to Christ they were true

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Appearing in the clouds, our Jesus coming down on the landJudging the worldly men the Savior sees their sin that was bannedOn foreheads and their hands, a 666 appears, the beast’s brandGog, Magog, and Satan, they number much like the grains of sandThey stand to lose all time, a thousand years go by, as God plannedNext the fire appears and all evil, bad, creatures it sears

You’ve got to read aboutThe words will leave you with no doubtYou’ve got to read aboutJohn’s words will make you want to shout

Into the fiery lakeAngels come out of the sky and throw "beast" thereA while later we’ll be there and Christ is too

( 108 ) Read RevelationParody of: Good VibrationsAs Performed By: The Beach Boys

v1:I, I read the very last book in thereIn the Bible Johnny tells me to bewareI understand that it sounds absurdBut the Earth will soon be shackeled with despair

Chorus:I’m reading through RevelationAbout the great tribulationI’m reading through Revelation (do do do read Revelation)God’s offering us salvation (do do do read Revelation)Read, read, read, Revelation (do do do read Revelation)Find out God’s expectations

v2:If you’re wise, You would accept Him nowIn a while, you will be left behindThen, we will hear men’s cries

As the beast take control of the world

[chorus]

AhhhhhhhAh my, my, RevelationI read in there that I am His heirAh my, my, what an elationAh my, my, Revelation

Gotta keep on readin’ through Revelation a-chapter by chapterGotta keep on readin’ through Revelation a-chapter by chapterGotta keep on readin’ through Revelation a-happenin’

AhhhhhhhRead read read revelation

(It’s giving me understand-un)Read read read revelation

(about my salvation)

( 109 ) Read The BibleParody of: KokomoAs Performed By: The Beach Boys

Numbers, Ephesians, there are so many reasons,from Matthew, Galations, through to RevelationsIsaiah and Daniel, and First and Second Samuel.Colossians.

To my heart it’s the keyReading it whenever I’m free,That’s where I always go to find his plan for me.

With His Word in hand, I read it every time I canI am learning of His grace and his love and his marvel-ous plan.In the Holy Bible.

Numbers, Ephesians, there are so many reasons,from Matthew, Galations, through to RevelationsIsaiah and Daniel, and First and Second Samuel. (Ooooooh it’s like I struck pure gold,)(in my heart it will take ahold,)(my life it will surely mold, reading the Holy Bi-ble)

Mark ’n John, and still I’m reading on...

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There’s so much to read,It satisfies my every needand I hope that you’ll see, the fruit that grows from this tiny seed

It’s a real delight, the Bible’s truths are always rightand there’s no doubt in my mind, that the Bible offers true insight.I want to see the light.

Numbers, Ephesians, there are so many reasons,from Matthew, Galations, through to RevelationsIsaiah and Daniel, and First and Second Samuel. (Ooooooh it’s like I struck pure gold,)(in my heart it will take ahold,)(my life it will surely mold, reading the Holy Bi-ble)

Luke and Acts, there’s nothing that it lacks...

When I’m feeling Lo-o-ow, there is a little verse that I know,I read it really slow, it helps me find my waythe Holy Bible

Numbers, Ephesians, there are so many reasons,from Matthew, Galations, through to RevelationsIsaiah and Daniel, and First and Second Samuel. (Ooooooh I want to read it all,)(in my heart it will take ahold,)(my life it will surely mold, reading the Holy Bi-ble)

Numbers, Ephesians, there are so many reasons,from Hebrews, Galations, through to RevelationsIsaiah and Daniel, and First and Second Samuel. ( 110 ) RevelationParody of: RevolutionAs Performed By: The Beatles

You say you’re reading RevelationWell it showsHow God’s gonna change the worldIt tells you that there’s evil brewin’Just so you knowThe fall is coming to the worldAnd then you’ll see so much destructionThe Bible tells it all and leaves no doubt

Don’t you know it’s gonna be, a blighta blight, a blight

John tells us it’s God retributionWell, you knowWe may live to see the planYou’re reading about destitutionWell, you knowWe are doing this to manThe devil is cunning and people will think he’s greatAll I can tell you is brother don’t take his baitDon’t you know it’s gonna be man’s plightMan’s plight, man’s plight

It says they’ll suffer persecutionWell it says soThey’ll all wish that they were deadThey’ll all be seeking resolutionWell John says noThey’ll all choose the beast insteadBut if you ask Jesus inside of your own heart nowThe rapture will take you and you won’t be here any-howDon’t you know it’s gonna be all rightAll right, all right

All right (8x)

( 111 ) Rev rent YellParody of: Rebel YellAs Performed By: Billy Idol

King David was a dancer, was-a dancin’ to the LordHis wife, a-little Michal, was absolutely flooredShe said, "Come on Davy, what are you thinking of?You’re thinking that this offers praise to Him above"

When the Ark was there, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWith a reverent yell, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWhen the Ark was there, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWith a reverent yell, he cried Lord, Lord, LordLord, Lord, Lord

He’s dancin’ for some slave girls, that’s what Queen Michal saidHe’s acting kinda’ lowly, well "up" she’d been fedDistinguished himself greatly, satirically she saidLike any vulgar fellow, not like Israel’s head

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When the Ark was there, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWith a reverent yell, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWhen the Ark was there, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWith a reverent yell, he cried Lord, Lord, Lord

He praises his God who is up in heavenFattened calves he prepares and is sacrificin’Well he shouts with might and he says a prayerQueen Michal, says how do you dare?

He brought it all home todaySo many miles it’s trueAll that she does: complainHis gives the Lord His dueThat is the goal, thank you LordIt’s funny she’d learn, they’re throughSome children, ah, she’d have none, hey’cause of, ’cause-of, ’cause of, ’cause of, the mean thing she did say

When the Ark was there, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWith a reverent yell, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWhen the Ark was there, he cried Lord, Lord, LordWith a reverent yell, he cried Lord, Lord, Lord

King David was a dancer, was-a dancin’ to the LordKing David was a dancer, was-a dancin’ to the Lord

( 112 ) Rock of AgesParody of: Rockin RobinAs Performed By: Bo Diddley

Verse 1:

He sits up in Heaven, all the day longMakin’ sure that nothin’ goes really wrongI don’t care what ever may be,’Cause I know that He’s looking out for me

Chorus:

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages,He looks O’er the Sparrow so I know that he’ll watch over me.

Verse 2:

Every little boy, every girl-eePrecious to Jesus can’t you see?He cares for the flowers, the bumblebeeWhy do think that he’d do less for me?

{chorus}

{Instrumental}

Alternate:

I learned about Jesus in Sunday Schooland I think that this guy is really coolHe saved a lot of people from their life of sinOne day into Heaven He will let me in

{verse 1} {Chorus}

{Instrumental}

{Verse 1}

He’s the rock of agesHe’s the rock of agesHe looks O’er the sparrow and he really watches over me.

( 113 ) RomansParody of: The LetterAs Performed By: The Boxtops

We are headed onward to EphesusThen Jerusalem so please pray for usThough I’m headed home, this must go to RomeSo Phoebe, please carry this letter

I will go to wherever the Lord He sendsEven if the people there are not my friendsI’ve written this tome, it must go to RomeSo Phoebe, please carry this letter

Well she carried the lettersaid she would make sure it did not get ignoredPeople in Rome you know you gotta repentand get right with the Lord, anyway...

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We are headed onward to EphesusThen Jerusalem so please pray for usThough I’m headed home, this must go to RomeSo Phoebe, please carry this letter

Well she carried the lettersaid she would make sure it did not get ignoredPeople in Rome you know you gotta repentand get right with the Lord, anyway...

I will go to wherever the Lord He sendsEven if the people there are not my friendsI’ve written this tome, it must go to RomeSo Phoebe, please carry this letter

So Phoebe, please carry this letter

( 114 ) Rude As PriestsParody of: You Got Another Thing ComingAs Performed By: Judas Priest

Such strife! They’re gonna cover up!Well it’s not right, guess they’ve had just about enoughWhat gall! They’ve stung, that’s not allowedThis must stop, it’s wrong, it brings a cloud

Yes I think you’re outta bounds, and the world asks "why?"Your actions they were cruel and what’s worse is you deny’Round your neck’s a millstone, it’s really kinda sadYour actions hurt the Church, you’re badAnd you’re about to sink, sonny(But’s not tough enough, sonny)

Contrite, you claim you’ll make ammendsBest kept out of sight, some higher up contendsLives scarred, misery you’ve caused lotsIt’s a disgrace, hardly quiet, victim talks

Some may think "forget it all, best for Jesus’ name"That is just plain foolish, and it’s clearly just insane’Round your neck’s a millstone, it’s really kinda sadYour actions hurt the church, you’re badAnd you’re about to sink, sonny(But’s not tough enough, sonny)(But’s not tough enough, sonny)

To the world we’re living proof, of the road that’s nar-rowAnd sir, now, when you do sin, it causes such despair, oh!

You got caught, this crime we all detest, yeahThis stuff reflects on the very bestIt’s wrong to hide in obscurity’Cause men will trash the Church for all eternity, yeah

Yes I think you’re outta bounds, and the world asks "why?"Your actions they were cruel and what’s worse is you deny’Round your neck’s a millstone, it’s really kinda sadYour actions hurt the church, you’re badAnd you’re about to sink, sonny(But’s not tough enough, sonny)

( 115 ) Samaritan GirlParody of: Cinnamon GirlAs Performed By: Neil Young

I want to drink like Samaritan GirlNever be thirsty, the rest of my lifeLike Samaritan Girl

Oh, Christ was the pitcherOf eternal lifeMy sins do not matter, grace made them alrightLike Samaritan Girl

He told her the fact is,The well was her soulAll that she lacked is,That God she should know,The Samaritan Girl

Oh, Christ was the pitcherOf eternal lifeHer sins do not matter, grace made them alrightThe Samaritan Girl

God sent His Son, oh wowHe’s there beside her right nowHer need the Lord, He grants

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He knew her story in advance

( 116 ) Satan Against ManParody of: Secret Agent ManAs Performed By: Johnny Rivers

Now there’s man who breeds a sinful natureThe Serpent talked to Eve, did her no favorThe Devil sealed her fateWith the fruit that she ateAnd that first sin it brought the Earth such sorrow

Chorus:Satan against manSatan against manHe’s causing us to stumbleTo our eternal shame

Beware of tiny sins ’cause they will bindThe Devil makes you think that God won’t mindOh be careful what you sayGod will recall that dayWhen judgement comes your sins will cause such sor-row

[chorus](instrumental)[chorus]

Singing praises to the Lord on SundayThen living sinfully, oh, starting MondayOh you might think you’re "hip"But you’re on a sinking shipWhen judgement comes your sins will cause such sor-row

[chorus]

Satan against man!

( 117 ) Savior, My KingParody of: Sultans of SwingAs Performed By: Dire Straits

I just-a listened on a larkThe sermon’s hit the mark, just in timeDown to the alter I go and confess everythingAs I’m accepting Jesus steeple bells chime

I felt alright when I heard those bells ring

With Christ inside now you don’t see too many tracesMy sin is gone, all my pain that was bringing me downSalvation’s covered all the basesTook my horns and gave me a crownWas by His grace, was by his grace, I was found

You check out Christ my Lord, we’re in one accordMind his commandments, His glory makes me want to cry and sing Calvary’s cost I could never affordSo by His priceless grace, I’ve made Him King

And Jesus doesn’t mind if my faith is somewhat greenHe sent the Holy Spirit so I’m doing alrightHe can forgive all my sins like anythingTook my heart and made it contriteHe is my Savior, He is my Savior, my King

Yes he did it for me, my Jesus he hung there on Cal’vryCrown of thorns on His brow, slit his side, in his hands were holesStill God ill damn a poor unrepentant manIt ain’t what He’s planned for my soulHe is my Savior, He is my Savior, my King

Then one day, He will be calling all of us homeHe will join the crowd that the rapture brings"Welcome, on these gold streets you will roam."Through those gates I’ll pass and I will singHe is my Savior, He is my Savior, my King

( 118 ) Savior s LoveParody of: Radar LoveAs Performed By: Golden Earring

I’ve been praying night, sweat’s wet on my brow’cause I really need forgiveness nowHe answers prayer I know somehowSo on my bended knee I bow

When I get lonely and this life just gets too tough,He sends a comfort coming in from above,His amazing grace beats all

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We’ve got a thing, it’s called the Saviour’s loveWe’ve got a thing, it’s called... Saviour’s love

My sins are so bad they’ve been gettin’ me downIt’s a real good thing that Christ’s aroundHe puts my feet on Holy GroundNew Jerusalem is where I’m bound


We’ve got a thing, it’s called the Saviour’s loveWe’ve got a thing, it’s called... Saviour’s love

(instrumental)

Leave the Devil’s grasp, here I go!Tempts me again I just say noI have the strength, God says soWith each temptation I will grow

Gotta watch my heart and gotta take care’cause Christ is with me everywhereWon’t live life wrong because I knowthat I will reap what e’re I sow


We’ve got a thing, it’s called the Saviour’s loveWe’ve got a thing, it’s called...We’ve got a thing, it’s called the Saviour’s loveWe’ve got a thing, it’s called... the Saviour’s love

( 119 ) Scarred, Bent, Lepers Only Touch His HandParody of: Sgt. Pepper s Lonely Hearts Club BandAs Performed By: The Beatles

It was many years ago they sayAll the lepers watched their limbs decay

Their disease was really kinda vileAnd the folks around them were hostileThey took so much abuse it’s trueThe fact you’ve known is Jesus healsScarred, bent, lepers only touch His hand

Those scarred, bent, lepers only touch His handJehovah Ratha runs the showScarred, bent, lepers only touch His handIt is to Him the sickened goCures the lepers, oh yeah!Cures the lepers, oh yeah!Cures the lepers only by His handIt’s wonderful to be healedThey are no longer illIt’s so amazing, cured at onceWe like what you have shown, JesusWe like what you have shown

Well now maybe you’re all white as snowAnd the priests are telling you to goHe’s the neatest thing to come alongHe can make your body fit and strongSo let Jesus produce in youA miracle when sickness clears’Cause scarred, bent, lepers only touch His hand

( 120 ) Share The Gospel MessageParody of: Listen to the MusicAs Performed By: The Doobie Brothers

All the people need to hear His wordMark 16, Jesus says to you"Go to the worldand make disciplesYes, you’ve got to share good news."

So everywhere go in His name and spread the Gospel truthMake sure they believe and are baptizedThat’s the way to get to heaven,Believe upon Him, and they will never ever be con-demned

Chorus:Oh, oh, oh,Share the Gospel messageOh, oh, oh,Share the Gospel message

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Oh, oh, oh,Spread the Gospel messageTo all the Earth

Everywhere, that you’re going, everyone should knowJesus died to save their very soulHe will cleanse them, make them wholeOh, He will wash their sins away

So spread the Good News everywhereGotta share it everydayJesus said He wanted it that way,Share the Gospel,And be sure that we don’t let them get away

[chorus]

He died on the cross to save usHas His arms opened real wideBy His grace He does forgive usAnd all that we have got to do is welcome Him inside

[chorus 6x]

( 121 ) Sick of RainParody of: Who ll Stop The RainAs Performed By: Creedence Clearwater Revival

Long as I remember, the air’s been mighty dryNever saw some water, falling from the skyThen God closed the boat up, let loose His fountaineAfter 40 days, no wonder, I’m sick of rain

At one time the Lord God, explained what it’s aboutStill the rain continues, I’m praying for a droughtMaybe I should shut up, guess I’m just a painAfter 40 days, no wonder, I’m sick of rain

Finally the rain ends, though I’m still in the ArkIt will be a long time, ’till we can disembarkGuess I should be happy, God has pulled the drainAfter 40 days, no wonder, I’m sick of rain

( 122 ) Smelly SubmarineParody of: Yellow SubmarineAs Performed By: The Beatles

There’s a town, he was to warnBut he ran, old Jonah fleesAnd then he winds up: whale cuisineShoulda’ told Ninevah’s strifeBut he failed to get it doneCould’ve drowned, but he came cleanGod forgives, Jonah He saveswith a smelly submarine

chorus:Jonah lived in a smelly submarineA smelly submarineA smelly submarineSpent three days in a smelly submarineA smelly submarineA smelly submarine

Sailors threw him overboard’Cause he disobeyed, his own LordAs the plank, began to sway...

[chorus]

(Instrumental)

At the end, with a big sneezeFish is sick becauseJo’s not fish feedHe got puked (He got puked)Upon the beach (Upon the beach)By the smelly (By the smelly)Submarine (Submarine)

[chorus 3x]

( 123 ) Spear It In The SideParody of: Spirit in the SkyAs Performed By: Norman Greenbaum

Wonder why they thought Christ was a pest?By His miracles they weren’t impressedSanhedrin said He had to dieNail His body up and "Spear it in the side"

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"Nail His body up and spear it in the sideThat’s the way to make sure He’s diedKing of Jews? No! We do protest!He’s the Son of God? He’s possessed!"

It’s on your shelf, just wipe off the dustGot to read the words of JesusWhat it says, you cannot denyThere in John 19, "Spear it in the side"

"Test Jesus’ body, spear it in the sideHe’ll rise up again, so He liedGuard the tomb well at our bequestMake sure no one disturbs Jesus’ rest"

Jesus died for sinners, and rose againHundreds provided the witnessSo if you claim He hadn’t diedThey tore His body up, "spear it in the side"

They tore His body up, "spear it in the side"That’s how the soldiers made sure He diedHe died and rose, and we are now blessedSaves us by His grace, I’m impressed

( 124 ) StutterParody of: StrutterAs Performed By: Kiss

It’s slow, my tongue it just will not purrThat’s why, I’ve always been so shySo God, to talk to them I’d preferThat this one time, you’d pass me by

Even though you think I really shouldI’m afraid I won’t be understoodStutter

I’m sure they’re laughin’ like I’m crazyThe words I say are rather mildWhen God says "go!" you don’t say "maybe"He made my tongue, it won’t go wild

Even though you think I really shouldI’m afraid I won’t be understoodStutter

Ya know, He did just what God asked fer,

And Mo-ses gave it one big tryTo Canaan Hebrews he did transferHe’s been the greatest Israelite

Even though he didn’t think he couldGod made sure that Moses did real goodStutterStutterStutter

( 125 ) Sunday He RoseParody of: Super HerosAs Performed By: Rocky Horror Picture Show

He gave a lotGod knows He diedThe way, the truthThe world deniedWatch the blood flowFrom hands, feet, side, He’sBleeding

And Sunday He roseNot deceasedCame back refreshedDeath had releasedHe had to showTo all the priests succeeding

He walked upon the planet’s faceLived and died, to take our placeOffers us, amazing graceAnd needingNeeding

( 126 ) Surfin IsraeliParody of: Surfin U.S.A.As Performed By: The Beach Boys

So one day Pharoah had a notion, made all the Hebrews slavesBut every boy’d be hurtin, the little girls he savesTheir population would increase, it was a scandal, ooohAmong the bushes one Hebrew, surfin’ IsraeliA paper basket with pitch/tar, his mother’s own design

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Had ta cruise among bushes, near the palace shore lineAnd as it would happen, the Pharoah’s daughter would sayThis poor baby’s gone surfin’, surfin’ Israeli

She thought the baby’s kinda cuteBut he would face his doomDad’s axin’ all the serf boysAnd that made her fumeSo came along the boy’s sisterShe wasn’t sorry that dayBaby’s life was secure then, surfin’ IsraeliYeah, have her please get mommy, terrific pal she aidesCan she hurry ’fore sunset? Reeds on the beach would swayMoreover she told her, that why-a she would payMari’s brother was surfin’ surfin’ Israeli

Well, this baby’s gone surfin’, surfin’ IsraeliWell, this baby’s gone surfin’, surfin’ IsraeliWell, this baby’s gone surfin’, surfin’ IsraeliYeah, little brother’s gone surfin, surfin’ IsraeliYeah, little brother’s gone surfin, surfin’ Israeli

( 127 ) Sweet Home Up in HeavenParody of: Sweet Home AlabamaAs Performed By: Lynyrd Skynyrd

When my life here is all overI’m headed home to be with HimSinging songs about the new landI need your forgiveness once again because I’ve sinned, yeah.

I’ve heard so many things about itIt makes me want to jump and shoutWon’t miss this Earth, no not one bitWon’t ever have to cry or pout, well there’s no doubt

Sweet Home up in Heaven, when my time on Earth is throughSweet Home up in Heaven, Lord I’m coming home to you.

The streets are gold up in Heaven (ooh, ooh, ooh)The walls are diamonds so blueThe pearly gates call out to meI want to walk those streets with you, to tell the truth.


Now Heaven has so many mansionsWhere Christ prepares a place for meHe’s set the table well for his sonsWe’ll dine so well eternally, just wait and see.


( 128 ) Take Him Into Your HeartParody of: You re The One That I WantAs Performed By: Travolta/Newton-John

(male)I’ve got sins, they’re multiplyin’and I’m losin’ control.’Cause this life I’ve been livin’can’t be forgiven.

(female)You better watch out,’cause you know the Man,He has got His eye on you.You better watch out,and get with the plan,there’s one thing that you must doooooh(male, overlap with ooooh)What is it I must do?

(both)Take Him into your heart(do, do, do)Take Him into your heart(do, do, do)Take Him into your heart(do, do, do)He’s what you need,oh yes indeed.

(female)About your sins, they’re forgiven,

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and His love makes you whole.All you do, is believe him,that’s the way.

(male)I’d better watch out,and get with the plan.(female, overlap with plan)Get with the plan,To His Son you must be true.(male)I’d better watch outand join with His clan(female, overlap with clan)With His clan,In your heart He’s overdue.

(both)There’s one thing that you must do.

(both)Take Him into your heart(do, do, do)Take Him into your heart(do, do, do)Take Him into your heart(do, do, do)He’s what you need,on yes indeed.

(2x again)

( 129 ) Takin Care of JesusParody of: Takin Care of BusinessAs Performed By: Bachman Turner Over-drive

An Angel came this morningAnd He gave to me a warningHe Said "Joe You’ll soon have one special kiddieHe is coming from aboveAnd the people here’ll love ’emFor this world, He has lots of pityAnd if you train Him fineYou can say ’God’s Son is mine!’And teach to Him your job in wood each daySo your marriage do not void

Or else God will be annoyedYou love the Lord so trust and obey."

So I’ll be...Takin’ care of Jesus -- every dayTakin’ care of Jesus -- watch Him playI’ll be taking care of Jesus -- He’s so fineTakin’ care of Jesus -- He’s that stepson of mine.No doubt.

Well right now I am a wishin’There was still room left at the InnListen to the cows loudly bellowThere’s a very shiny starAttracts strange dudes from afarThese Magi guys are really weird fellowsNow there in Jerusalem, there’s a man named SimeonWho waited his whole life for just this dayHe was really overjoyed’cause Herod we did avoidHe blessed the child and we went away

So I’ll be...Takin’ care of Jesus -- every dayTakin’ care of Jesus -- watch Him playI’ll be taking care of Jesus -- He’s so fineTakin’ care of Jesus -- He’s that stepson of mine.No doubt.

Temple day -- Father’s businessOn our way, but he stayed, whoa!

An Angel came this morningAnd He gave to me a warningHe Said "Joe You’ll soon have one special kiddieHe is coming from aboveAnd the people here’ll love ’emFor this world, He has lots of pityAnd if you train Him fineYou can say ’God’s Son is mine!’And teach to Him your job in wood each daySo your marriage do not voidOr else God will be annoyedYou love the Lord so trust and obey."

So I’ll be...Takin’ care of Jesus -- every dayTakin’ care of Jesus -- watch Him playI’ll be taking care of Jesus -- He’s so fine

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Takin’ care of Jesus -- He’s that stepson of mine.No doubt.

Taking care of JesusTaking care of JesusTaking care of JesusTaking care of Jesus

Takin’ care of Jesus -- every dayTakin’ care of Jesus -- watch Him playI’ll be taking care of Jesus -- He’s so fineTakin’ care of Jesus -- He’s that stepson of mine.

Taking care of JesusTaking care of JesusI’ll be... Taking care of JesusI’ll be... Taking care of JesusTaking care of JesusTaking care of JesusTaking care of JesusTaking care of JesusTaking care of Jesus....

( 130 ) Temple Was a Bad MessParody of: Long Cool Woman in a Black DressAs Performed By: The Hollies

On Sabbath day He was downtownTeaching like a good RabbiHe was visiting JerusalemAt His father’s house, my, myThey were selling sheep on the west sideThe smell of cattle was very strongPeople crowded ’round the money change manbut their presence in the temple was wrongThen Jesus started shouting, made them open their eyesThe tables they started to flyThe merchants thought that He went to excessAs He castigated them allHe left the Temple in a bad messSaid "this house is not an exhibition hall."

I saw Him headed for the tablesAnd I don’t think He wanted to chatThe Pharisees said "Hey, what’s your problem?Now, now, really what’s so wrong with that?"

Then suddenly we heard Him screamingand everybody started to runPicking up their money and tablesTo escape the wrath from God’s own SonWell the merchants they did not understandWhen Jesus told ’em this wasn’t rightWell it seems that they were scaredand none of them guys were sparedJesus said "there’s no forgiving if you wanna make your livingyou should do it at a different address,The Lord’s house is not a shopping mall"’Cause He left the Temple in a bad messSaid "it’s not an exhibition hall."

( 131 ) The Lone SaviorParody of: William Tell OvertureAs Performed By: Lone Ranger TV Series Theme

(spoken)00:07- The Lone Savior!

00:20- He’s yo’ Savior!00:25- A fiery voice with a Godly might,00:27- A crowd that trusts, and a heart we find none purer00:31- The Long Savior!00:33- He’s yo’ Savior, the way!00:37- With his faithful group of Apostles in tow00:39- The weary and remorseful asked Him to ease their pains00:42- What a sight, taught love and honor and who’s truly blest00:46- Accept His grace now, for He is the way, the truth, the light! 00:49- The Long Savior, forgives sins.

( 132 ) The Lord s PrayerParody of: Pretty WomanAs Performed By: Roy Orbison

God our Father,up in Heaven’s domainGod our Father,So hallowed is thy name,God our FatherAs you build your kingdom new,

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It’s your will I plan to do. Mercy!

God our Father, I will follow thee.God our Father,On Earth and Heaven’s streets.God our Father,When I’m hungry you feed me. When I sin you pardon me. Wow!

God our Father, help me see,God our Father, I should be,God our Father, forgiving as thee.

God our Father, this I pray,God our Father, I won’t stray,God our Father, into sinful ways.

’Cause I need you, you are the light,That dispells evil, both day and night.

God our Father’s Kingdom is so fine,God our Father, all the power’s thine,God our Father, all the glory is to you, each day.I really know it’s true, O.K.I give it all to you on faithForevermore and more, that’s great.

What can I say? I am praying every day.Yes, you answer prayer that way.oh, oh, God our Father.

( 133 ) The RaptureParody of: The RapperAs Performed By: The Jaggerz

Hey world, Christ warned ya, about the coming disasta’Takin from anywhere, from a bus, from a car, from a grocery storeYou’ll say "What happened? Why have I not been warned before?"

Chorus:Rap-a-rap-a-rap, they call it the raptureRap, rap, rap, no christians thereafter

You better get ready, not to do so is deadlyNo one can tell you, the date, or the time, or the venue

Preditions won’t help you, so behave though He could come back today

[chorus]

So take my suggestion and get ready for heavenJust God knows the hour, not angels, not Christ, just the FatherDon’t let it surprise you, Matthew 24:40 is the key

[chorus]

Rap-a-rap-a-rap, they call it the rapture

( 134 ) The Test of TimeParody of: The Best of TimesAs Performed By: Styx

On Christmas night You made history, as Micah prophesizedThe evening air was brisk, you cry ’cause it’s dinner-timeAnd sheep you will hear tonight

Though some may feel, it’s just a story lineI do believe it’s trueBy shepherds you’re adored, and Magi wiseRumor has it, that its just a pack of liesBut I know, though the world may question whyBaby, I know, because of You I’ll never die

The test of time, has been why the throne’s for YouBy God’s design, You’d save this whole world, they knewThe prophesies of yesterday predict your lifetimeProphets attest you are the bestAnd today we find, You stood the test of timeYou stood the test of time

In Matthew read His words will last all timeDon’t be naive, it’s trueThe Bible helps us, let the Book just be your guideSo don’t be dumber friend, just use your pair of eyes’Cause you know, that the world yearns for His crownMaybe you’ll show, He’s in your heart, your soul, and mind

The test of time, has been why His throne’s for You

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By God’s design, He saved this whole world, it’s trueHe died to attone for you. He died to save this world.He died to attone for you. He died to save this world.

( 135 ) There Is But One WayParody of: I Want It That WayAs Performed By: The Backstreet Boys

I am forgivensince He has risenBelieve when I sayThere is but one way.

He loves us the mostby grace, we can’t boastDon’t be led astrayThere is but one way.

[Chorus]He is whyAin’t nothing I can do or sayHe is whyNothing else will take my sins awayHe is whyHis will is what I must obeyThere is but one way

I am not worthyif He’s not in meI hope to conveythat there is but one way.

[Chorus]He is whyAin’t nothing I can do or sayHe is whyNothing else will take my sins awayHe is whyHis will is what I must obeyThere is but one way

Although I’ve got Jesus right there in my heart,It makes me no better than you, oh no.The Bible makes clear to me that all men have sinnedWe’re short of the glory that’s true.

I am forgivensince He has risenHe is, He is, He is...

He is the wa-ay.

Ain’t nothing that I can do or sayNothing else will take my sins awayHis will is what I must obeyThere is but one way [Chorus]He is whyAin’t nothing I can do or sayHe is whyNothing else will take my sins awayHe is whyHis will is what I must obeyThere is but one way[repeat]

( 136 ) Thing Bove The RoadParody of: King of the RoadAs Performed By: Roger Miller

Tower for sale or rentLooms, you bet, stiff ascentNo stone, by tar it’s setIt ain’t reached to heaven yet, Ah but, It’s ours we’d finish soon, Why our Faith in selves caused its doom, It’s uh, A plan that seems to show theThing ’bove the road

Though it might seem insane,Built it here on Shinar plainI’d warm the tar to ooze,And have clay for bricks to use, God broke Our glory, brought it downWhen he scattered us aroundThis tower’s fallen downThing ’bove the road

I know everyone will sneer,They don’t talk the sameWork is abandoned, it’s a real shameAnd every language, we have now foundAnd everyone talks but it’s just noisy sound

I sing...Tower for sale or rentLooms, you bet, stiff ascent

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No stone, by tar it’s setIt ain’t reached to heaven yet, Ah but, It’s ours we’d finish soon, Why our Faith in selves caused its doom, It’s uh, A plan that seems to show theThing ’bove the road

Tower for sale or rentLooms, you bet, stiff ascentNo stone, by tar it’s setIt ain’t reached to heaven yet, Ah but, It’s ours we’d finish soon, Why our Faith in selves caused its doom, It’s uh, A plan that seems to show theThing ’bove the road

( 137 ) This Will Be The DayParody of: That ll Be The DayAs Performed By: Buddy Holly

Chorus:Well,This will be the day, when you say good-bye,Yeah, this will be the day, that your cup runs dryYou thought you’d take it easy, that was a nice try’Cause this will be the day, that you die

Well, you brought in quite a crop, and your wealth’s hit the topYou’ve got so many goods you’ve built your barns brand-newYou’re living easy and you think life is breezyBut check out what God’s planned for you

[chorus](instrumental)

The things you treasure, make sure, they’re up in heaven, oh yeahBe sure the Father approves what you doWhen life is over, you don’t want to discover,You can’t take anything with you

[chorus]

Well,This could be the day,This could be the day,This could be the day,

This could be the day, that you die

( 138 ) To Egypt With YouParody of: So Caught Up in YouAs Performed By: .38 Special

So Joseph one night had a dreamThat he shared with one and allHis brothers started then to schemeJust to produce his downfall

One day they threw him into a cisternThey felt that he had got what he had earnedSold him off to a caravan just passin’ through

To Egypt with you, little Joe’Cause your brothers can’t stand you no mo’To Egypt with you, little JosephYou’re a slave now and you’re no longer freeSo face it, it’s trueJacob’s sonYour dreamin’, schemin’, about usWill not come to be

Joseph was bought by PotipharAnd soon he ran the whole houseThe master’s wife she went too farBut Joe respected her spouseShe accused Joe of a real naughty sinPotiphar threw Joe into the dungeonIt’s not right, he’s in jail, for what he did not do

To Egypt with you, little Joe’Cause your brothers can’t stand you no mo’To Egypt with you, little JosephYou’re a slave now and you’re no longer freeSo face it, it’s trueJacob’s sonYour dreamin’, schemin’, about usWill not come to be

So Pharoah had a dream and Joseph explained every-thingOh no! A feast and a famineJacob’s boys came on by, so hungry, about to dieSo Joe, fulfilled his prophecy

[fade]

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To Egypt with you, little JoeYou’re in charge now and boy don’t they all knowTo Egypt with you, little JosephYou’re the man now and control everythingYour dream it was trueJacob’s sonYou’ve saved Israel and your praises we will now sing...

( 139 ) Totally ReligiousParody of: SuperstitiousAs Performed By: Stevie Wonder

Totally religious, I’m a Bible nerd!Spend all of my time praying, and studying His wordI am off to heaven, my soul is assuredGotta let the world know, Good news to be heard

When you believe in the King, you’ve got to under-stand,well He’s so righteous,I’m a most religious man.

Totally religious, I do all I canTook Him into my heart, and turned away from manI walk the path that’s narrow, stickin’ to His planHe’s the greatest ever, I’m His biggest fan

When you believe in the King, you’ve got to under-stand,well He’s so righteous,I’m a most religious man. (I’m a most religious man)

Totally religious, writin’s on the wallI blast through false teachings, like a wrecking ballI live just to please Him, from grace I will not fallFollow His commandments, never sin at all

When you believe in the King, you’ve got to under-stand,well He’s so righteous,I’m a most religious man.

totally religioustotally religioustotally religious

( 140 ) Touch MeParody of: Call MeAs Performed By: Blondie

Jesus died and He arose and saw His disciplesThomas was not present there as everybody knows"I will not let you deceive, I must see Him to believe"

Touch Me! (touch Me) I’m aliveTouch me, touch me on my hands and sideTouch Me! (touch Me) I’m aliveYou can touch Me any place you likeTouch Me!

A week later all the guys were gathered in a roomTalkin’ ’bout the empty grave that’s something we assumeJesus came, the guys were shockedBecause all the doors were locked

Touch Me! (touch Me) I’m aliveTouch me, touch me on my hands and sideTouch Me! (touch Me) I’m aliveYou can touch Me any place you likeTouch Me!

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo He’s the one they loveOoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo He’s back from aboveOoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo So now Thomas seesAnytime, anyplace, anywhere, any wayWhatever commands He gives they obey

Touch Me! (touch Me) I’m aliveTouch me, touch me on my hands and sideTouch Me! (touch Me) I’m aliveYou can touch Me any place you like

Touch Me! (touch Me) you’ll believeIt’s a shame you need your eyes to seeTouch Me! (touch Me) be relievedI am not a ghost, you’re not deceived

Touch Me! (touch Me) I’m aliveTouch me, touch me on my hands and sideTouch Me! (touch Me) I’m aliveYou can touch Me any place you like

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Touch Me!

( 141 ) Tower That s HighParody of: Heartbreak TonightAs Performed By: The Eagles

So Noah’s team got off the boat,began to settle downGod said "repopulate the Earth"and this time they won’t drown

So they spread out real far to the eastNations did ariseBut they forgot the Lord real quickDid sin in God’s eyes

Chorus:They’re gonna build a tower that’s high,a tower that’s high, you knowThey’re gonna build a tower that’s high,a tower that’s not so-so

They were gonna build it nice and bigShow the Lord what they could doSo God came down to take a lookChecked out the hullabaloo

After the Lord He had a good laughSaid their logic is askewHe decided to mess with their tonguesand send them hitherto

[chorus]

Chorus P2:They’re gonna build a tower that’s high,A tower that’s high A tower that’s high A tower that’s high They built a tower that’s high,to show off their might, you know

The work came to a grinding haltSo much for their great planWhenever they would say some wordsNo one could understand

The Lord had mixed up their languageand sent them on their wayThat’s probably the reason whyThere’s no Babel today

[chorus][chorus P2]

They built a tower that’s high,a tower that’s high, you know

( 142 ) Trackin The New Eastern StarParody of: Back in the U.S.S.R.As Performed By: The Beatles

Knew that star’s within our reach, in Four B.C.Headed East we’re led at nightOn our way the savior lad we had to seeLooking at that shiny lightWe’re trackin’ the new Eastern starWe don’t know how lucky we are, boyTrackin’ the new Eastern star

In Jerusalem we’re now at Herod’s placeHe’s the lead guy here from RomeLeaving for Bethlehem to complete our chaseSoon we’ll find the baby’s homeWe’re trackin’ the new Eastern starWe don’t know how lucky we are, boyTrackin’ the new East...Trackin’ the new East..Trackin’ the new Eastern star

Well, this virgin girl who completes our routeHer child will save mankindA dream warned us that Herod’s a loutThe Jordan’s a haze on my mi-mi-mi..-mind

We’re trackin’ the new Eastern starWe don’t know how lucky we are, boyTrackin’ the new Eastern star

Well, this virgin girl who completes our routeHer child will save mankindA dream warned us that Herod’s a loutSo Jordan today’s on my mi-mi-mi..-mind

Joe went down to Egypt, he went way down southTo protect his child from harm

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When he heard that Herod’s dead without a doubtNazareth would be the charmWe’re trackin’ the new Eastern starWe don’t know how lucky we are, boyTrackin’ the new Eastern star

( 143 ) Treasure in HeavenParody of: Stairway to HeavenAs Performed By: Led Zeppelin

There’s a lady who’s poor,she can give nothing more,but she’s storing up treasure in heaven.’Till she gets there she knows,that her cup overflows,with the blessings the Lord has prescribed her.Oooooh, oooh, and she’s storing up treasure in heaven.

Jesus blessed her small gift, left the rich feeling stiffed,when he talked of the wealth she provided."Their blessings are here; it comes from their peers.their rewards up above so divided."

Ooooh, it made them wonder.Ooooh, it made them wonder.

There’s a feeling I get, from sin’s heavy debt,and my spirit cries out for salvation.In my heart I have seen, reasons I should come clean,’cause the riches above are still waiting.

Ooooh, it makes me wonder.Ooooh, it makes me wonder.

[Note: skipped a verse in the real song to shorten it]

It’s a reminder by your conscience, to be alarmed now.To right yourself before the Holy one.Yes, there are two paths you can go on, but in the long runThere is still time to change the road you’re on.

And it makes me wonder.

Your soul is hurting and it won’t goin case you don’t know.The Lord is calling you to join Him.Forgiveness gives you such a warm glow,

and did you knowYour treasure’s on the path away from sin.

(Instrumental)

And as we walk on down the road.The path we choose directs our soul.There walks that lady we all know.Who’s heart is pure and clean as snow.Her pain will soon turn into gold.And if you listen to His word.The truth will come to you at last.When we are one and in His fold.

And she’s storing up treasure in heaven.

( 144 ) Up on the MountainParody of: Down on the CornerAs Performed By: Creedence Clearwater Revival

In Chapter Five of Matthew, guess it was sermon timeJesus started preaching and He let it all unwindPreached to His disciples, and all who were aroundTaught us how to live our lives, with blessings to abound

chorus:Up on the mountain, it’s really neatJesus Christ is up there preachingFind a spot and take a seat

Blest the poor in spirit, their’s is kingdom timeBlessed are the mourners, for no longer they will whineBlessed are the meekest ones, for the Earth is theirsBlest those who seek righteousness, they’ll see God really cares

[chorus][chorus]

Blessed are the merc’ful, Blessed the pure in heartBlessed are the peacemakers, for God sets them all apartBlest the persecuted, to heaven they will goBlessed the insulted, just thought I’d let you know

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[chorus]

( 145 ) Walked on the WaterParody of: Smoke on the WaterAs Performed By: Deep Purple

(Verse 1)We all came down from Canaby the lake Gal-uh-lee shoreline.We were fishin’ for a living,using net and line.But Jesus wasn’t waiting,to our boat he was bound.Out there upon the water,wasn’t even on dry ground.

(Chorus)Walked on the water.Could you believe your eyes?Walked on the water.

(Verse 2)When He saw me standing there,He waved and invited me in.Without a thought, I scrambled right on out,I had to be with Him.It was dark and stormy,my life it seemed was on the brink.my faith was running out,and that is when I started to sink.


(Verse 3)We ended up safely in the boat,I was hungry, cold, and wet.But with a nice warm towel, and a few smoked fish, I fell asleep on a net.With the ship at dock,feet on dry ground, our catchis safely stored.One thing I’ve learned, fromall of this: always to keepmy eyes on the Lord.


( 146 ) Walkin Whole, Who, Me TooParody of: Rock n Roll Hootchie-CooAs Performed By: Rick Derringer

I needed improvin’ so the good book toldIt was a warn-ing right in a book by PaulIn the book to the Romans he was layin’ it downFor all men have sinned, there’s no glory found

Walkin’ whole, who? Me too!(Walkin’ whole, who? Me too!)Lord, he offers grace, so choose(So choose)Walkin’ whole, who? Me too!(Walkin’ whole, who? Me too!)Lucky for us there’s good news

I hope I’ll grow and I’m blocking sin outIt makes me giggle and sing, it really makes me shoutWouldn’t lie, He’s divine, and He’ll accept you too All my sin, offered closure, He can do it for youYeah


Sweet as our loving God who makes me cheerStayin’ on the track, so I have no fearIt’s enthrallin’ that at last I am safe from harmNo more tears, heart is singin’, like I give a darn


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Walkin’ whole, who? Me too!(Walkin’ whole, who? Me too!)Lord, he offers grace, so chooseWalkin’ whole, who? Me too!

( 147 ) We re in the Promised LandParody of: We re an American BandAs Performed By: Grand Funk Railroad

Out in the desert for forty yearsKings across the Jordan are showing their fearsMilk and honey is now in sightThere’s no more manna, but that’s alright!In Jerico, we marched aroundAnd then guess what? The walls tumbled downExcept for the "lady" named Rahab’cause she had helped our spies andproved she wasn’t all bad

We’re in the promised landWe’re in the promised landWe’re coming to your townand God will tear it downWe’re in the promised land

Now there’s some guys in GibeonWho’d heard that something bad was going on"These Israelites are quite a fright,So let’s create a ruse to help avoid a fight!"So Joshua, then said "okay"It seems to me that he’d forgotten to prayWhen he found out, said "they will pay"So Josh did as God said and turned them all into slaves

[chorus 2x]

[instrumental]

[chorus 2x]

We’re in the promised landWe’re in the promised landWe’re in the promised land

( 148 ) Welcomed By The DevilParody of: Welcome To The JungleAs Performed By: Guns n Roses

Welcomed by the DevilImagine your surpriseThought you were a good guyNow you’re gonna fryHere are all the people who thoughtFor Christ they had no needThought it was by good works, honeyThe Lord disagreed

The DevilWelcomed by the DevilHe will bring you to yourkn-kn-kn-kn-kn-kn-knees, kneesHe will watch you scream

Welcomed by the DevilIt’s for eternityYou didn’t accept JesusThis is the price you seeYou followed the path of the worldAnd did just as you pleasedYour actions spoke loud as wordsAnd God was not appeased

By the Devil,Welcomed by the DevilYes, this, this, this, serpent’s meanHe, He wants to hear you scream

Welcomed by the DevilIt gets worse here each dayYou’re treated like an animalAround you demons playAnd you start to wonder (wonder)"What’s that sulphur smell?"Then it finally hits youThis is really Hell!

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The DevilWelcomed by the DevilHe will bring you to yourkn-kn-kn-kn-kn-kn-knees, kneesHe will watch you scream

Not long ago you never ever thought you’d be hereNO!

(You know where you are? You’re way down in hell, baby You’re gonna die) The DevilWelcomed by the DevilHe will bring you to yourkn-kn-kn-kn-kn-kn-knees, knees

By the Devil,Welcomed by the DevilYes, this, this, this, serpent’s mean

By the DevilWelcomed by the DevilHe will bring you to yourkn-kn-kn-kn-kn-kn-knees, knees

By the DevilWelcomed by the DevilHe will bring you to yourknees, knees

( 149 ) What Would Jesus Do?Parody of: Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?As Performed By: Theme Song from TV Show

What would Jesus do?Well, so should youYou’ve got to think this through now

What would Jesus do?Have you a clue?Just read His word and see how

What would Jesus do?You’d do that too

If His love’s deep inside you

What would Jesus do?If He were you?Your actions tell the world loud

Well you know you’ve got to live your life as though you knew the Lord was coming right backThat’s right Jack!And with the Lord inside your heart you knowyou’ll fight off every Satan attackThat’s a fact!

What would Jesus do?Well, so should youYou’ve got to think this through now

What would Jesus do?Have you a clue?Just read His word and see how

( 150 ) When He CameParody of: Penny LaneAs Performed By: The Beatles

Oh when He came into the harbor Simon Peter laughsWhen Jesus said "Do lad give your nets a big throw"Even though Peter’s night was slowThrew his nets below

At the mooring where they anchored wasn’t very farMen, women, children, listen in it’s quite a packAnd the anchored boat doesn’t tack,On it He remains, He explains

When He came, He spent three years with these 12 guysFrom beneath the ground He would ariseAnd soon He’s coming back

Oh when He came well He inspired men with His scripture classHe was the smartest guy that they had ever seenWell they all admire Him, He’s keenHis serene routine

When He came, He spent three years with these 12 guys

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Five small fish and bread suppliesFour thousand a big snack

Teaching sermons on the mountain He was so devoutThe Bible verses telling people blessed are theyAnd afterwards He teaches them to pray"Here’s the words to say..."

Oh when He came the Magi brought Him gold, incense, and myrrhThe Magi banked on Him to save the world from sinThey would admire in BethlehemDuring Herod’s reign, out of range

When He came, He spent three years with these 12 guysFrom beneath the ground He would ariseAnd soon He’s coming backWhen He came, He spent three years with these 12 guysFrom beneath the ground He would ariseWhen He came

( 151 ) When I Gave My Heart to JesusParody of: When a Man Loves a WomanAs Performed By: Percy Sledge

When I gave my heart to JesusShaped my life like no one elseHe changed my world that’s one thing I’ve foundI was bad, he still forgave meOf all my wrongsYes, He’s my best friend,He’s always around

When I gave my heart to JesusHe brought joy in my lifeHis grace and His love are just what I needWhat He did there on Calvary, washed away my sinI know (that) he did it, just to save me

When I gave my heart to JesusAnd confessed He was God’s SonHis forgiveness and His precious loveJesus, you saved this sinful one

When I gave my heart to Jesus

Deep down in my soulI knew He’d cleansed my miseryBefore that I was a foolBut now, completely wholeMy life has changed, can’t you see?

When I gave my heart to JesusIt was the best day of my lifeHe saved me, oh He saved me





( 152 ) While My Dear Lord Gently SleepsParody of: While My Guitar Gently WeepsAs Performed By: The Beatles

I look at the squall, sea waves crash while we’re sail-ingWhile my dear Lord gently sleepsI look at the boat and I see it needs bailingStill my dear Lord gently sleeps

I don’t know why nobody woke you, because we’re scared, kind ofIt’s like "Oh wow!" the sea’s controlled, oohThe winds obey You I look at the world and I see that it’s churningWhile my dear Lord gently sleepsOh flat seas in our wake we must surely be yearningStill my dear Lord gently sleeps

I don’t know why, You weren’t alerted’Cause you were squirted, tooPlease save us now, ’fore we’re invertedHave some faith, blurted You

I look at the squall, sea waves crash while we’re sail-ingWhile my dear Lord gently sleepsLook at the squall, sea waves crash while we’re sailingWhile my dear Lord gently sleeps

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( 153 ) Why It s FictionParody of: Science FictionAs Performed By: Rocky Horror Picture Show

My, call it what you willThe Day the Earth stood stillWhen Josh holds sun o’er the landAnd Flash! Gore done to BaalElij’ smoked ’em real wellCloud rains upon that old Noah manYou say that it’s wrongMore fair-ae tales, sing-songThey’re not about to sell you void shamThen that Heavenly graceAnd well that ... other placeThe Bible’s a real mess - aged scam

(you say)Why it’s fiction, troubled creatureDoctored text, by some old preacherSuch devoid writing, glad to ban itAnd chance’s are sins forgiven, plan itWuh uh uh oh o-o-ohAnd to think that Rabbi/Teacher, picked your soul

A new holiday carolRed and green apparelWinter ran through ya, gave you the chillsBut it’s really not hotAt that Bethlehem spotFight old Herod, Jewish babies he killsMark and Matthew said soonHe did rise from the tombMuch prophecy the Lord fulfillsBut when whirled asideDead in Heaven’s flipsideYou’re gonna pay some terrible bills,

(Don’t think)Why it’s fiction, Bible reacherDoctored text, by some old preacherSuch devoid writing, glad to ban itAnd chance’s are sins forgiven, plan itWuh uh uh oh o-o-ohAnd to think that Rabbi/Teacher, picked your soulTo make you whole

Wuh Ohh o-o-ohYou got that right, Rabbi/Teacher, picked your soul

Wuh Ohh o-o-ohYou got that right, Rabbi/Teacher, picked your soulSo up you’d goOh oh o-o-o-ohYou got that right, Rabbi/Teacher, picked your soul

( 154 ) With a Little Help That He SendsParody of: With a Little Help From My FriendsAs Performed By: Joe Cocker

What would you think, if I rewrote this tune,With the words that God’s given me?Allay your fears, I’ll be off this stage soon,I’ll supply you a quick parody

Oh I rewrite with a little help that He sendsMmmm, I rely on the help that He sendsMmm, won’t deny it’s the help that He sendsOh I rewrite with a little help that He sends

The music’s not new, but that’s really okayI don’t worry that the tune is a clone, oh noIt will appeal to some folks here todayIt’s not bad, ’cause the tune’s not my own

So, I rewrite with a little help that He sendsMmmm, I rely on the help that He sendsMmm, can’t deny all the help that He sendsOh I rewrite with a little help that He sends

All these songs, I parodyTo praise the Lord aboveAnd the words, ain’t too shoddyInspired by my Inspired by my Inspired by my savior’s love

So, I rewrite with a little help that He sendsMmmm, I rely on the help that He sendsMmm, can’t deny it’s the help that He sendsOh I rewrite with a little help that He sends

( 155 ) With a Little HelpThat He SendsParody of: With a Little Help From My

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FriendsAs Performed By: The Beatles

What would you think, if I rewrote this tune,With the words that God’s given to me?Allay your fears, I’ll be off this stage soon,I’ll supply you a quick parody

Oh, I rewrite with a little help that He sendsMmmm, I rely on the help that He sendsMmm, won’t deny it’s the help that He sends

The music’s not new, but that’s really okay(I don’t worry that the tune is a clone)It will appeal to some folks here today(It’s not bad, because the tune’s not my own)

So, I rewrite with a little help that He sendsMmmm, I rely on the help that He sendsMmm, can’t deny all the help that He sends

All these songs, I parodyTo praise the Lord up aboveAnd the words, ain’t too shoddyInspired by my savior’s love

Though some believe that it’s really not right(Yes, to use all of this music that’s not mine)I hope one day that they all see the light(’Cause I know that my God thinks it’s fine)

So, I rewrite with a little help that He sendsMmmm, I rely on the help that He sendsMmm, can’t deny it’s the help that He sends

All these songs, I parodyTo praise the Lord up aboveAnd the words, ain’t too shoddyInspired by my savior’s love

So, I rewrite with a little help that He sendsMmmm, I rely on the help that He sendsMmm, can’t deny all the help that He sendsOh, I rewrite with a little help that He sendsWith a little help that He sends....

( 156 ) Wonderful-est GardenParody of: Octopus GardenAs Performed By: The Beatles

I’d like to be, where I could seeOh, the wonderful-est garden that was madeBefore man sinned, he roamed thereinIn the wonderful-est garden that God made

Animal friends all there would beIn wonderful-est garden with meI’d like to be, where I could seeOh, the wonderful-est garden that was made

Oh I’d be warm, with no cloths onAnd the special fruit on that one tree I’d saveBy God I’m fed, to Eve I’m wedIn the wonderful-est garden that God gave

It’s quite the thing, just glance aroundThe coolest place, that we have foundI’d like to be, where I could seeOh, the wonderful-est garden that was made

There’s no doubt, we got kicked outThe serpent that lied and was depraved(serpent lied to Eve today)No more joy, for this pair: girl and boyKnowing we’ve lost this happy place(lost this happy place)

You can read, ’bout Adam and, yes, EveGenesis, oh, chapters two and threeI’d like to be, where I could seeOh, the wonderful-est garden I knewOh, the wonderful-est garden I knewOh, the wonderful-est garden I knew

( 157 ) You Better Love Not Your MoneyParody of: You Never Give Me Your MoneyAs Performed By: The Beatles

You better love not your moneyYour treasure up there in Heaven’s saferThough wealth may gain you congratulationsit leads down

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Your money it will encumberAnd only cause you lots of frustrationThe root of evil, it’s infatuationit leads down

Had the knowledge, the intentRead the scriptures, was contentBut the money’s wrong, it has to goRust’s a robber, moths attackRich man’s mourning, he turns backThrough then needle’s hole he could not goBut oh, that tragic feelingNot there he’d goOh, that tragic feelingNot there he’d go

Wealth extremeBest off in rags and make the heavenly scene You’d do good to be austereWealth that will last is yours on judgement dayGold street gleam, is yours one dayIs yours one dayIs yours one day (yes it is)

All the wealth that you are cravin’Cannot buy your way to heaven(repeat and fade)

( 158 ) You Can Live ForeverParody of: Who Wants To Live ForeverAs Performed By: Queen

Jesus died for us.Bore the cross for us.And in return it really seems,He asks not much from us.

Yes, you can live forever,yes, you can live forever.

There’s one chance for us,by grace given to us.This world has nothing that compares to what He’s given us.

Yes, you can live forever,yes, you can live forever.

Because Christ died.

He calms your fears, with His love,gives the peace, you’ve been dreamin’ of.And offers you forever,so you can live forever,Forever, He is the way.

Yes, you can live forever,yes, you can live foreverForever, He is the way.

Don’t wait forever, act today.

( 159 ) You ve Got to be Born AgainParody of: The TimewarpAs Performed By: Rocky Horror Picture Show

It’s astounding, time is fleetingif Heaven is your goalSo listen closely,

Don’t wait too much longer.You must give him control.

I remember doing my own thing, living without Him.The blackness would hit me, and my soul would be calling

You’ve got to be Born Again. You’ve got to be Born Again.

If you don’t wanna be left,then you have gotta get right. Take Him into your heart,and your future is bright.’Cause if you don’t say "yes!"then you are really insa-a-a-a-a-ane.


What Jesus gives to me, He offers so freely,He’s there inside me, at my call.Death and resurrection, were His intercession,

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He died and rose, for us all.

With a bit of his grace, you’re there in the right place,and nothing can ever be the same He offers salvation,to those who accept him.


Well I was doing His will and everything was pink,when the devil appeared with an evil wink,He shook-a me up, he took me by surpriseHe said that trusting Jesus was none too wiseBut Jesus saved me and I felt a changeThe Devil meant nothing, never would again


If you don’t wanna be left,then you have gotta get right. Take Him into your heart,and your future is bright.’Cause if you don’t say "yes!"then you are really insa-a-a-a-a-ane.


Documents

Parodeities: The Hymn Book ( 2 ) Able Able Parody of: …net.pku.edu.cn/~course/cs201/2003/mirrorWebster.cs.ucr.edu/Page... · Page 1 Parodeities: The Hymn Book ( 1 ) A Gift From