ParentingAbout Decisions Part One - G-W · the parenting needs of children. summarize the rewards of parenting. u u u u u Chapter 1 Parenting: A Rewarding Choice Objectives Key Terms

11

Part One

Decisions About Parenting

1 Parenting:A Rewarding Choice

2 Families and Parents

3 The Decision to Parent

This sample chapter is for review purposes only. Copyright © The Goodheart-Willcox Co., Inc. All rights reserved.

12 Part 1 Decisions About Parenting

Learn and ServePlan an ongoing service-learning project related to human services with your class. Projects should relate to serving children and parents and may involve a community organization, such as the Boys and Girls Clubs, Big Brothers and Sisters, YMCA, Habitat for Humanity, or child and family services. Use effective decision-making steps to develop and execute your plan. At the end of the course, write a detailed summary about the effectiveness of your class service-learning project. How did this project personally impact your life?

FCCLADevelop an FCCLA STAR Events project for a human-services career related to parenting and children. Consider a project idea from FCCLA National Programs, such as Career Connection, STOP the Violence, Dynamic Leadership, Community Service, or Power of One as the foundation for your project. Obtain necessary STAR Events forms and guidelines from your family and consumer sciences teacher.

Build a PortfolioBegin creating a well-organized collection of items that reflect your education and work experience. You might include your résumé, photographs of work experience, written descriptions or a DVD of a community service project along with many other accomplishments. Choose your best work. Use your portfolio when seeking further education or employment.

You can read more about planning your career in Chapter 22.

Your Potential CareerHuman Services in Demand

Are you a helper? Do you like to see people maximize their independence and succeed in the world to the best of their abilities? Are you a person of character who lives by high ethical standards? Can you communicate well and show compassion to others? Are you detail oriented, organized, and technology savvy? If you answered yes to any of the above, a career in human services may be for you.

With many job opportunities growing at a faster than averagerate, careers related to helping others are in high demand.

How can you prepare for a human-services career? First, build your career plan with a solid academic foundation—science, math, and communications supplemented with family and consumer sciences, health, and humanities. Some careers, such as a personal care assistant, require a high school diploma and on-the-job training.

Other careers—such as a child, family, or school social worker—require at least a four-year degree and some work experience.

Depending on skill level and education, wages for human services careers range from low to moderate. As with many careers, a person with more education, training, and experience will command a higher wage.

Part 1 Decisions About Parenting 13

Consumer Services

Early Childhood Development and Services

Counseling and Mental Health Services

Family and Community Services

Child Care:Nanny

Teacher

Teachers’ Assistant

Principal

Director

Elementary School:Counselor

Parent Educator

Teachers’ Assistant

Child Care Worker

School:Counselor

Psychologist

Career or EmploymentCounselor

Marriage, Child, and FamilyCounselor

Human and Social ServicesWorker

Human and Social ServicesAssistant

Emergency Relief Worker

Dietitian

Community Food ServiceWorker

Community Housing Worker

Personal Care Assistant

Consumer Credit Counselor

Financial Advisor

Consumer Advocate

Insurance Representative

Customer ServiceRepresentative

Event Specialist

Buyer

Small Business Owner

Career Cluster—Human ServicesCluster Pathways

Sample Careers


parentparentingroleparenthoodnurturancerealistic expectationsunconditional lovededicationflexibilitymythmoral developmentmoralsstructureethnic groupscultural traditionsethnic identityheritagediversitystress

contrast the terms parent, parenting, andparenthood.describe the personal qualities and knowledgeneeded for effective parenting.recognize popular myths about parenthood.relate the overall job responsibilities of parents tothe parenting needs of children.summarize the rewards of parenting.

Chapter 1 Parenting: ARewardingChoice

Objectives

Key Terms

After studying this chapter, you will be able to

Chapter 1 Parenting: A Rewarding Choice 15

Look at the titles of this textbook and this chapter. You see the terms parents and parenting. Between these two words in the dictionary, you will find the related term parenthood. What do the three terms mean?

When you look up parent, you will find that the meaning has two parts—a person who gives birth to offspring and brings up and cares for a child. Does the term parent include grandparents or other family members who raise a child, too? What about nannies, child care teachers, school teachers, scout leaders, coaches, and countless other leaders of children’s programs who help care for and raise a child? Although they are not called parents, they do help raise a child. When considering all these aspects, the term parent applies to the following:

the mother and father responsible for their child’s birth

the actions of a mother and a father in caring for and raising a child

other people who care for a child by serving the role of mother or father, such as adoptive parents and foster parents

Related to the term parent is the word parenting. Parenting is the act or process of raising a child. It involves meeting the child’s needs to age 18 or sometimes longer. Parenting also means guiding a child toward the goal of becoming a competent adult. Biological, adoptive, and foster parents, as well as family members, teachers, and others can handle the process of raising children.

A role is a set of behaviors related to a certain function you assume in life. Parenthood refers to the role of parenting in society. Parenthood is a highly valued role that involves legal rights and responsibilities. Because of these rights and responsibilities, parents can make many decisions about how to raise a child. It is their legal right to make responsible decisions. Responsible decisions are those considered to be good for the child by

moral and legal standards. When parental decisions are thought to be harmful to the child, the child can be removed from the family and those legal rights ended. Examples include cases of neglect or abuse.

At some time in life, most people become parents. Of those who remain childless, many handle parenting tasks for other family members or friends. Sometimes they hold careers that involve parenting tasks, such as child care or teaching.

As you study parenting, think about how you were raised. Also consider your observations of parents and their children, and your thoughts about ideal parenting. Compare these views with what is known about competent parenting. Consider the challenges and the opportunities of parenthood.

In this chapter, you will learn about the job of parents, myths about the job of parenting, and the responsibilities and rewards of parenthood. This chapter will also explain why parenting education is needed and how to make the most of your studies.

The Job DescriptionParenting is a series of related jobs and

work experiences. In this sense, parenting is often called a career. It is probably the most exciting and challenging career a person can have.

Suppose you were reading the want ads online or in your local newspaper and discovered the ad in 1-1. Would a job like this interest you? Why or why not?

You would probably not accept a job, even one that looks interesting, before knowing its responsibilities and salary. Likewise, you should not become a parent before learning about that career’s qualifications, responsibilities, and rewards.

While reading the job description, did you notice the qualifications for parenting? Several factors determine whether a person is


qualified to handle a given job. These include the individual’s personal qualities, knowledge of the subject, and past experience.

Personal QualitiesPersonal qualities are most important

because parenting duties mainly involve interactions with the child. Parents also interact with their child’s friends and with other adults, such as teachers, on behalf of their child.

Parenting demands a special maturity—a person who is willing to put his or her needs after the child’s. Because social maturity usually blooms in the young-adult years, teen parents are at high risk for finding parenthood overwhelming. Although parents should find time to meet their needs as individuals and couples, children’s needs must never be neglected. The following personal qualities are part of the special maturity needed for parenting.

NurturanceNurturance means loving care and

attention. To nurture children is to love, teach, and guide them. From the very beginning of their lives, infants need to be assured they are surrounded by love. Infants feel love through the parents’ touch, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Holding children close and soothing them also conveys love. Parents need to continue to love and nurture their children even into adulthood.

A parent is a child’s first and most important teacher. Having realistic expectations, or knowledge of developmental skills children have at a certain age, helps parents provide an atmosphere for growth and learning. Nurturance involves challenging children to do their best at developing skills appropriate for their age. Through help and encouragement from parents, children gradually develop important physical, intellectual, emotional, and social skills.

Above all, nurturance involves giving unconditional love to children. This type of love sets no conditions or boundaries. Children need to know that parents love them even when they make mistakes, disobey, or fail to live up to what parents expect. If you choose to parent, your children will need to know they can always count on your love. Never, under any circumstances, use love as a reward or threat. Do not tell children you will love them more for eating their vegetables, or less for getting bad grades. Parents should give their children constant love in large doses, 1-2.

DedicationParenting demands dedication, or a

deep level of continued commitment. It is a 24-hour-a-day, everyday job. When you become a parent, you must devote yourself to your new role. You can’t punch a time card and go off duty. If your baby needs to be fed or changed, it is your job to see those needs

Full-time position available for matureindividual. Job requires nurturance,dedication, and flexibility. Must be willing towork seven, 24-hour shifts per week. Noexperience required, but child development knowledge is a definite plus. Responsibilities include: changing diapers, fixing meals,cleaning up messes, and answeringquestions, as well as teaching, loving, and guiding a child from infancy to adulthood. A minimum 18-year commitment is required.Salary: You pay thousands.Fringe benefits: Excellent, including the opportunity to hear a child’s first words, help a child learn to ride a bicycle, and watch with pride as your grown-up son or daughterreceives a college diploma.For application, contact:The Stork Company

WANTED: PARENT

1-1 Does this sound like the job for you? Parenting is hard work, but it has many rewards.


are met. When your child comes to you with a bloody knee, you can’t say, “Sorry, I’m on my break.” You can’t resign—or even take a vacation—from parenting when the job is difficult. You have to hang in there, giving whatever help and support your child needs.

FlexibilityParents need flexibility to survive the

many challenges they face. Flexibility means being ready and able to adapt to new and different circumstances. When you become a parent, you must be able to adjust easily and quickly to many different situations.

As children grow and develop, they may pass through phases during which they display undesirable behaviors. Common examples include getting into mischief, tattling, or playing practical jokes. Flexibility allows you to adjust to these passing phases and the behaviors your child displays. Often, your child will grow out of a phase just as you learn how to handle behavior in that phase. You have to stay alert to keep up with growing children.

A parent’s daily plans often change, even at the last moment, due to the child’s activities or needs. For example, as a parent, you may have to skip an adult social event to watch your child play in a soccer match. You may have to postpone a business meeting to stay home with a sick child. You may have to push back mealtime when, with your child’s “help,” preparing dinner takes longer than planned. In cases like this, a good sense of humor is just as important as flexibility.

Being flexible in your daily routine will allow you to enjoy children’s spontaneous nature. You can share their delight when they first play in water or see themselves in the mirror. You can marvel at their first words and first steps. You can smile proudly as they show you a new music or dance skill. Sharing such moments with your child is one of the most precious fringe benefits of the job of parenting, 1-3.

Knowledge and ExperienceDo people get much knowledge about

parenting before having their first child? If they take a course like this, they do. Do people get much experience with parenting before their first child? Generally, the answer is no. People who cut hair for the public or provide manicures must have knowledge and a license. You must have a license and on-the-road experience to drive a car. Yet, acquiring knowledge and experience with parenting is not a condition for becoming a parent—and babies do not come with instructions.

1-2 Giving lots of love to a child is an important part of nurturance.


In the past, young women were raised to be mothers. They developed skills by caring for younger family members. When they became mothers, their mothers and other women in the family helped them with child rearing. Parenting, therefore, was learned through years of experience and tradition.

Times have changed. Today’s parents have fewer child-care experiences before their first child. Grandmothers and older family members are often employed outside the home. Others may live too far away to

help new parents. Yet, there has never been a better time in history to be an informed parent. Reliable information on parenting can be found everywhere—in bookstores, on Web sites, at newsstands, in libraries, and on television programs.

Still, most adults are not prepared for parenting. Why not? Many adults are overwhelmed by the wealth of information available to parents. Busy adults may have little time to read many materials or the knowledge to choose the best. They may feel even less confident about parenting.

Without a doubt, parenting is complex. Some basic knowledge can take you a long way toward becoming a competent parent, 1-4. Experiences with children are helpful, too. The best experiences are working with children in child development labs, in child care programs staffed with experienced teachers, or from any competent parent or person who has had rich experiences with children. They can help you learn what to expect and how to respond as children grow and develop.

1-3 Flexibility in your daily routine allows you time to share special moments with your child.

1-4 Basic knowledge about parenting can help make you a competent parent.

What Parents Need to Know

The general concepts and methods of effectiveparenting.

How these concepts and methods apply tochildren’s developmental stages.

Common problems children face at each stageand how these problems might be worked out.

How parents will likely react to children’sdevelopmental stages.

How parents and their children can adapt tostressful events and crises.


Parenting Myths and Realities

As with other careers, some people may think of parenting as the “perfect” career. Because of this thinking, they may believe and spread myths about parenting. A myth is a half-true or untrue story or notion used to explain certain traditions, practices, or beliefs.

Myths about parenting come from several sources, such as society and families. Society has had a long history of cultural and traditional thinking. These thoughts contain many truths as well as myths. Until rather recently, experts in family life and child development rarely studied parenting. Because parent education was not available, people relied on information passed down to them through generations about how to raise children. This information was based on family culture and traditions. Although some of this traditional thinking was correct, and continues to be, other ideas are now known to be incorrect. For example, such notions as “You’ll spoil babies if you pick them up” are now known to be false. The reality is that babies need to be held and comforted in order to build trust and feel secure, 1-5.

Second, society often promotes a romantic complex—an ideal view having no basis in fact—about parenthood. For example, think about how the media represents children and their families. Is it realistic or a misrepresentation of reality?

Third, not all experts agree on every aspect of parenting. This problem may confuse some parents. Parenting is a highly complex and individual process. Experts will continue to do research and provide more knowledge about parenting, but myths may still exist until facts replace them.

Why is it important to address parenting myths? Believing false ideas about the role of parenthood may harm the parent-child relationship. Having unrealistic or impossible role expectations may lead to stress for both

parents and their children. Understanding myths for what they are will help you know what the parenting career is really like. Here are some common parenting myths you may have heard.

Myth #1: All parenting skills are instinctive.

Some people say all parenting skills are instinctive, or based on a natural skill or capacity. They say people are born knowing how to be parents; it just comes naturally. Many mothers and fathers do seem naturally well suited to being parents. This doesn’t mean they instinctively know it all or have nothing to learn. No one is born with all the preparation needed to be an effective parent. Parenting takes hard work and practice.

1-5 Holding and comforting babies is essential in order for them to feel secure in their world.


What skills seem to be the most instinc-tive? Some people are skilled observers of others. This skill allows them to quickly recognize their children’s needs and respond. Other less-instinctive qualities are the personal qualities you have studied—nurturance, dedication, and flexibility. Even these skills can be improved with knowledge, training, and experience. All parenting skills are not instinctive, however. This is a myth because many parenting skills must be learned through gaining knowledge and experience.

Myth #2: A mature adult can be a perfect parent.

Parenting is a human role. Humans are not perfect so no one can be a perfect parent. Even mature adults lack some parenting knowledge and skills. Mature adults make mistakes, too. Parenting involves children who are also imperfect people.

Trying to be perfect parents is not good for parents or their children. When parents make mistakes, they may feel as though they are failures. Lack of confidence often results in more parenting mistakes and robs parents of the joys of parenting. If parents try too hard to be perfect, children pick up on their parents’ anxiety. Parental anxiety lowers children’s self-confidence, too.

Mature adults should strive to become competent parents, not perfect parents, through parent education and real-life experiences, 1-6. Competent parents will make mistakes but will also learn from them. At times, they will even need to say “I’m sorry” to their children. Yet, they can be confident they are responsible parents who handle most parenting tasks well.

Myth #3: Good parenting guarantees “good” children.

This myth closely relates to Myth #2. In the past, much pressure was put on parents to perform the “right” parenting actions in order for children to grow into healthy adults. This

myth is based on the idea that personality is completely formed in the early years. Early experiences are most important, but personality continues to develop throughout life. Influences outside the family, such as peers, adults other than parents, and media, affect children in healthy or unhealthy ways.

Parenthood does not come with any guarantees. However, effective parenting highly increases the chance of having children grow to be responsible adults. It also leads to positive relationships with parents and their adult children.

Myth #4: Parenting is always fun.From the outside looking in, it is easier

to see the rewards of parenting than the challenges and responsibilities. People who are not yet parents cannot foresee all these less-positive aspects. Parents who have raised children sometimes look back and remember the good times more easily than the bad.

Like any other job, parenting can be fun, sad, exciting, boring, satisfying, and frustrating. The point is you need to have realistic expectations. You will soon be disappointed if you believe parenting is just one fun day after another. You may even grow to resent your child for not fulfilling your dreams of parenting bliss. On the other hand, if you can accept that bad times occur, too, you will probably enjoy parenting.

1-6 Parents must be prepared to accept the reality that their children can have difficult moments.


Parenting is not fun all the time, but many parents have lots of fun as they raise their children. An important influence is a person’s attitude toward parenting. Keeping a sense of humor can help parents through difficult times. Overall, many people genuinely enjoy being parents.

Myth #5: Children are always cute and sweet.

Many people daydream about having a baby. They look forward to holding a sweet, cuddly bundle of joy. It is not as easy to anticipate times when babies are not so cute and sweet. The reality is that babies also cry, scream, and squirm, 1-7. They are sick and unhappy at times. Parents must be able to handle the noise and mess babies create. Toddlers can be downright stubborn. It can be a big adjustment if parents have unrealistic expectations about what babies and toddlers are really like. While children can be adorable, parents should be prepared to accept reality.

Even the cutest and sweetest babies grow quickly into school-age children and teens. Older children can be just as enjoyable, if not more so, than babies. However, some parents are not ready to handle older children’s needs and demands. They may not find older children as cute and sweet as babies. Babies cannot start an argument or run all over the house. People will be disappointed if they become parents simply to care for cuddly babies. Parents who look forward to all the stages of growth are more prepared for the realities of parenting. They will find satisfaction throughout their lives as parents, not just during the first few years.

The Responsibilities of Parenting

Every job has its responsibilities, and parenting is no different. Just like most

jobs, parenting is complicated. It has basic requirements in caring for children. In addition, parenting involves complex tasks in figuring out the best way to help children grow and develop based on parents’ values and what is known about competent parenting. Parents cannot know in advance all the parenting duties they will have, but several are common to all parents. The following duties are the main responsibilities of parenting.

Wanting and Being Ready for Children

A parent’s first responsibility is deciding if he or she wants children and is ready to have them. People should think carefully about whether they really want children and are ready to be parents. Every child deserves proper care and guidance. Making rational decisions about parenting is best for adults and children.

Becoming a good parent also means recognizing when it is not the right time to start (or add to) a family. Family planning decisions are described more fully in later chapters.

1-7 Although babies are generally cute and sweet, the reality is they also cry, squirm, and scream.


Fulfilling Legal Responsibilities and Rights

Regardless of parents’ marital status, parents have a legal responsibility to support and supervise their children. Parents have corresponding rights to make many decisions about their children’s lives, 1-8. For example, parents have the right to choose where a child lives and the responsibility to make sure children are safe in this environment.

A parent’s legal responsibility continues until the child reaches the age of majority.This is the age, usually 18, when a person is considered an adult by the legal system. The law in each state sets the age of majority. When children reach this age, they are free to live on their own, make their own decisions, marry, and financially support themselves. With this freedom, comes the taking of responsibility for their actions.

Meeting Children’s NeedsChildren have many needs from birth to

adulthood. Babies are totally dependent on parents for satisfying their physical needs. As children grow, they can meet some of their needs, but parents must assist and supervise their efforts. Because meeting needs is critical to children’s development, parents must be prepared to give the required help. Here are some ways that parents meet children’s needs.

Need for Unconditional LoveFirst, and foremost, children need

unconditional love. Children need to know they are loved for who they are and for their own special qualities. Constant, unconditional love helps children feel good about themselves, self-confident, and secure.

Physical NeedsLoving parents provide for children’s

food, clothing, and shelter and ensure their health and safety. These needs change as children grow and develop so parents must

continually adjust how they meet these needs. For example, living space for a newborn can be a small area in the parents’ bedroom or a nursery. By school age, a child needs more and different spaces. These include a private place to sleep, dress, and study, in addition to storage space for clothing and other items. The child also needs a place to pursue quiet activities and outdoor space for active play. Abraham Maslow, a psychologist, felt that a person’s physical needs must be met before any other needs, 1-9.

Intellectual, Emotional, and Social NeedsChildren are born ready to learn. Babies

learn through their “home schooling” as they are carried, cared for, talked to, read to, and played with by loving parents. Parents also promote their learning outside the home by taking them on trips to a library,

Parents’ LegalResponsibilities and RightsResponsibilities

Support children by providing life necessities(food, clothing, shelter), medical care, andeducation.

Supervise and control children’s behavior. Parentsare liable for children’s accidental or intentionalinjury of others, destruction of property, stealing,truancy, and curfew violations.

Examples of Corresponding Rights

Determine where children will live, what medicalcare they will be given, and which school they willattend.

Control children as they see fit as long as they donot neglect or abuse children or ask children to dosomething illegal.

NOTE: Courts may intervene on behalf of childrenif parents’ do not adequately support, supervise,and control their children’s behavior.

1-8 Parents are legally required to meet basic responsibilities in parenting, but can make choices in how to fulfill this role.


and play and visit with friends. Through these interactions, children learn valuable lessons in sharing, communicating, and compromising.

Need for Moral DevelopmentLoving parents want their children to

become mature, responsible, and happy adults. For this to happen, children need to learn to behave in ways that are acceptable to society and the family. This process, called moral development, is gradual and reflects a child’s understanding of the difference between right and wrong. However, children are not born knowing the difference between right and wrong.

Very young children cannot understand morals. These are the beliefs people have that help them discern between right and wrong. Parents can begin this learning by having a

nature preserve, zoo, or museum. Children tend to imitate their parents’ desire to learn. As children grow, parents meet children’s intellectual needs by supporting their learning in child care programs and schools.

Showing love to children and responding to their needs is the backbone of good emotional development. Parents must help children recognize and name their emotions. They must teach their children to express intense emotions that are not hurtful.

From the beginning, parents need to be social teachers. They encourage social interactions with babies through the loving exchange of smiles, cooing sounds, and first words, and by playing such games as peek-a-boo. As children develop, they need to share experiences with family members of all ages

1-9 According to Maslow’s theory, all needs have a certain priority. The needs of one level must be at least partially met before a person can realize higher needs.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs

Psychologist Abraham Maslow studied how the fulfillment of different human needs affect thought, behavior,and personality. He organized human needs into five levels according to priority, with the highest-priorityneeds at the bottom. This arrangement is called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs.

Maslow’s theory shows that helping children meet their needs can help make them feel complete. Read thepyramid from the bottom up. The hierarchy follows this order:

Physical needs. Air, food, shelter, water,clothing, and any other life-sustaining needs

Safety and security needs. Feeling safe fromdanger and secure in daily routines

Love and acceptance needs. Feeling securein relationships with family and friends; praise,support, and encouragement help people feel asense of love, affection, and belonging

Esteem needs. Self-respect, self-esteem, andthe esteem or admiration of others necessary forconfidence

Self-actualization needs. The realization of aperson’s full potential

Self-Actualization

Esteem

Love & Acceptance

Safety & Security

Physical


home filled with warmth, affection, respect, and mutual trust, 1-10. A home such as this helps children trust their parents’ judgments and beliefs.

More direct training begins between the ages of two and three. At this time, parents need to provide structure. Structure sets behavioral limits (home rules) that teach children how to get along in the world. It involves guiding children to develop personal boundaries that do not infringe on others’ needs and rights. Structure also means providing children with experiences that promote self-worth and a sense of safety and security. When children reach the school years, they can talk with their

parents about right and wrong decisions and the consequences of certain actions. These combined elements form the foundation for moral development.

Heritage and Culture Awareness NeedsEach family belongs to one or more

ethnic groups. These are groups of people with a common racial, national, tribal, religious, or cultural origin or background. Members of ethnic or cultural groups have shared customs, beliefs, and behaviors, or cultural traditions. Children learn from and enjoy participating in traditions that involve food preparation, clothing, or religious practices of a family’s ethnic background. Children also want to hear stories and see items from their own family history.

All of these experiences help children form an ethnic identity. This refers to the way a person views himself or herself as a member of a particular ethnic group. Children develop pride in their family background by knowing about their heritage,or all that has been passed down through the generations. As children learn of their cultural heritage, they learn that others may also have a different cultural heritage. Parents can help their children learn about diversity,which is a condition of differing from one another. By helping children learn about and respect other customs, beliefs, and behaviors, they promote appreciation of cultures that are different.

Maintaining Good HealthParents have a responsibility to take

care of themselves physically, intellectually, socially, and emotionally. Maintaining good health helps parents take good care of their children. Parents need a balanced diet, regular exercise, plenty of sleep, and interaction with others. Because the parenting role is ever changing, all parents feel stress.This is the tension caused by a condition or situation that demands a mental or physical

1-10 Providing an atmosphere of warmth, affection, and mutual trust helps build the foundation for moral development.


adjustment. Mild and short-lived stress is not harmful. Severe and long-term stress harms parents’ physical and mental health.

Parents need to find ways to cope with their stress. Outlets for stress relief can include time to themselves (to read or pursue other interests) and time for activities they enjoy with other people who can provide emotional and social support. A satisfying marriage is a major source of emotional strength, too. Many authorities say parents should view their marriage as their primary relationship and work to keep it strong and healthy. Such a marriage creates positive feelings and it enhances parent-child relationships, 1-11.

The Rewards of Parenting

Why do so many people choose to become parents and accept all these responsibilities? For most parents, parenting has rewards that far outweigh the challenges. No other job offers the satisfaction that parenting does. Nothing can compare to the opportunity to watch your children grow and develop. Here are some examples of rewards that parents often feel.

Parenting sparks a wide variety of emotions. Parents feel content when they rock a baby to sleep. They feel happy when they hear “mama” or “dada” for the first time. They feel proud when their child learns to read.

Parenting can help people experience new or deeper emotions. They may feel a new tenderness within themselves when they care for a sick child. Parents are often amazed at how much they are able to love their children. Parental love is a unique kind of love, unlike any other love. After becoming parents, a couple may grow closer and find they

love and respect each other even more. This type of personal growth is a unique opportunity of parenting.

Parenting offers a sense of satisfaction in children. As parents watch their children grow and succeed in the world, they often experience a sense of personal satisfaction in how they have parented their children. This satisfaction comes from knowing that they are loving, competent parents.

1-11 Parents can be better parents by maintaining good health. Keeping their marriage strong and healthy is also important.


Parenting offers the reward of constant adventure. Every stage of development brings new experiences for parents and child. Parents learn how to make an infant smile and how to help a baby build a tower of blocks. They learn to answer questions, such as “Where do stars go during the day?” Later, parents may learn to coach a Little League team or referee a soccer game.

It is impossible to describe all the rewards of parenting. They differ from day to day and from child to child, 1-12. Many people feel the special love their children have for them is the best reward of all.

At some time in life, many people choose to become parents and accept all of the responsibilities and rewards the job involves. Of those who remain childless, many are involved in parenting tasks with the children of other family members or friends.

As you study parenting, think about your parents and other parents you’ve observed. Also consider your own ideas

about parenting. Compare these views with what you know about responsible parenting. Consider the challenges and the rewards of a parenting career.

1-12 The rewards of parenthood are many and differ day to day.

Summing It Up

The terms parent, parenting, and parenthoodhave interrelated meanings in regard to the care and support of children.

Parenting can be compared to a career because both require commitment, involve responsibilities, present challenges, and offer rewards.

Nurturance, dedication, and flexibility are three important personal qualities of parents.

Parenting is complex. Knowledge, training, and experience are needed, but rarely happen before a couple’s first child is born.

Myths about parenthood should be recognized for what they are—half-true or

untrue stories or notions used to explain certain traditions, practices, or beliefs.

People should understand the responsibilities and rewards of parenting before they become parents. Parenting responsibilities include wanting and being ready for children, fulfilling legal responsibilities and rights, meeting children’s needs, and maintaining their health.

Children have physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and moral needs that parents must meet.

The rewards of parenthood far outweigh the challenges for most people.


Applying New Skills1. Parent interview. Interview a parent

about the importance of being a nurturing, dedicated, and flexible parent. Ask if this person always finds it easy to display these qualities. Are there things about being a parent that make parenting more difficult? What advice would the parent give others about developing nurturance, dedication, and flexibility before they become parents? after? Write a summary of your findings to share with the class.

2. Picture wall. Gather pictures from magazines and newspapers that depict parenting. Working in small groups, sort the pictures according to which parenting responsibilities they most represent. Share your group’s thoughts about the pictures with the rest of the class. Then, as a class, create a picture wall depicting the responsibilities of parenthood. Mount pictures in groups by type of responsibility.

3. Brainstorm. On a piece of paper or on the board, write these two headings: Responsibilities of Parenting and Rewards of Parenting. As a class, brainstorm a list for each heading. Do the lists seem to balance, or does one list seem much longer than the other? What conclusions can you draw about the rewards and responsibilities of parenting?

Recalling the Facts1. Contrast the terms parent, parenting, and

parenthood.

2. Describe the personal qualities of nurturance, dedication, and flexibility for effective parenting.

3. Describe two myths about parenthood. Explain why each is considered a myth.

4. List four responsibilities of parenting.

5. Why is a child’s need for love considered the most important need?

6. What are children’s physical needs?

7. Name two ways that parents can promote their children’s intellectual growth.

8. How can parents encourage social development in their children?

9. Why is moral development important for children?

10. How does structure in the home help children develop morally?

11. Contrast ethnic identity and diversity.

12. Why do parents have the responsibility of maintaining their good health?

13. Name two actions that parents can take to maintain good health.

14. What are two ways that parents can reduce their stress?

15. List two rewards of parenting.


Thinking Critically1. Do you accept or reject the parenting

myths presented in this chapter? Why? Draw conclusions about other misconceptions you think people have about parenting. What conclusions can you draw about the realities of parenting?

2. Analyze how a person may know when he or she is ready to have children. Discuss your analyses in a small group. Then share your group’s ideas with the rest of the class.

3. Assume you are a parent. Assess the morals you feel are important for your children to develop and make a list. Explain why you selected each moral.

Linking Academics1. Writing. Write an essay describing what

your parents have taught you about your heritage and culture. Or, write about other parents you know and what they have taught their children about heritage and culture. (Be sure to avoid using real names.) End the paper by writing what you think you will want to teach your children about their heritage and culture.

2. Social Studies. Use Internet, print, or interview resources to investigate one or more cultures that exist in your community. Find out at least five positive facts that you didn’t know about this ethnic or cultural group and list them on a sheet of paper. How can you use these facts to help build better relationships between cultures in your community? Write a summary of your conclusions.

Documents

ParentingAbout Decisions Part One - G-W · the parenting needs of children. summarize the rewards of parenting. u u u u u Chapter 1 Parenting: A Rewarding Choice Objectives Key Terms