Christina VernaciChapter 17

Parenting

- Aging and Fertility

- Pressure by family and peers

- No children or two children

- Your life style

- Worrying

- Issues from Childhood

- Paths to Parenthood

Things to Consider Before Parenting

- Age affects a woman’s ability not only to conceive but also to carry a pregnancy to term.

- Woman in her 20’s -> 12-15% chance of miscarriage

- Woman in her 40’s -> close to 50% chance.

- A 25 year old woman has a 25% chance of becoming pregnant, that percentage decreases significantly in the mid and late 30’s.

- A younger woman is not 5x more likely to conceive than an older woman, she is more likely to get pregnant in fewer cycles.

Aging and Fertility

- Something to think about..

Many women put off having children because they don’t feel they are emotionally or financially stable, so they let “nature decide”. Yet waiting means they are in jeopardy of becoming pregnant at all and the decision is made by default, and might not be the path they wish to have chosen.

Aging and Fertility

- Your parents or extended family might expect you to become a parent at a certain age but only you know when you are ready.

- Many or all of your friends are becoming parents, you might feel like you need to do the same.

Pressure by Family and Peers

- Theory that a child must have a companion growing up

- An only child will become more spoiled or lonely

- Myth!- Only children are no more or less spoiled or

maladjusted than children with siblings- For many women, having a one-child family is

just right.

No Children or Two Children

- Questions to ask yourself before becoming a parent:- -Do I have a stable household- -Can I financially afford to take care of a child- -Are there family medical problems that might be passed on

generically- Do I have what it takes to learn parenting skills- Do I have adequate health care and insurance- What kind of a community do I want my child to be raised in- Am I single or would it effect my other intimate relationships in my

life- Do I have someone or family to help me- Would I have support if I or my child develop a disability- Am I too young or old- How will I juggle work and child care

Your Lifestyle

- One must consider their general personality- -Are you caring- -Do you get stressed out easily and give up- -Do you tend to have a temper- -Do you have a low tolerance level- -Do you have a sense of humor- -How do you react in chaotic situations- -How do you usually handle stress- -Do people enjoy being around you

Continuing that idea..

“You are who your parents are”

- It is common to doubt your ability to be a parent.

- Being a parent means learning everyday until the day you die.

- You’ll go through different stages to learn how to parent a baby, a toddler, a teenager, an adult, and later on, an adult that has children of their own.

- Teaching your children how to have their own children is one of the biggest parenting knowledge's you can have.

- There are books, classes, information sessions, doctors, therapy and all sorts of methods to help you learn how to be a parent.

- Parenting isn’t easy and one must accept rocky roads and hardships at all times.

Worrying

- If a woman feels distressed by events when they were younger, they may wonder if they will put their child through the same thing.

- Many woman who lived under abuse or fear, dislike the physical changes and tests that are needed during and after pregnancy.

- In these cases, women are not yet stable to have children of their own and to understand that they should want their child to have a better life than they had.

Issues from Childhood

- Before you become a parent you must consider what kind of parenting approach you are going to take.

- Adoption- Single-Parent- Two Parents- Family or Extended Parenting- Midwife Parenting

Different Styles of Parenting

- Some women choose not to go through the nine-month pregnancy process and wish to just adopt instead.

- Some women are unable to conceive or may have a medical condition that would make pregnancy or childbirth unsafe.

- Things to consider when opting for Adoption- -It can be an expensive process. As of 2011, the federal government

provides a tax credit of up to $13,170 per child- Emotions and relationships are a big issue regarding adoption. - Some women are finally happy to become a parent, but still grieve

of the pregnancies you will never have- Some women don’t know how or when to tell their child that they

were adopted.- The reaction from the child as well plays a big role as well.

Adoption

- Being a single parent is difficult for the child and yourself

- You need to balance every role in your life on top of being a mother and father figure.

- It tends to be easier for woman.

- A woman needs to make sure she has sufficient help and support from family, friends, and caregivers.

- Need to make sure you have a set schedule for everything in your life.

- Need to have a very steady and financially stable job and income to support a child.

Single Parent

- Research shows this is the safest and best way to raise a child.

- Negotiating time management with a spouse or partner helps ease the stress and chaos of hardships.

- Two minds over one matter

- Mother and Father figures

Traditional Two Parent Family

- This tends to be an option when a mother is very career oriented, or needs to travel continuously for obligations

- The caretaker would be an aunt, friend, cousin, or grandparent.

- Still family oriented but takes away from the bond that a parent and child would have.

- Not necessarily the best path for a parent to take. One must consider their career and obligations before bringing a child into the world

Family or Extended Parenting

- Certified nurse-midwives are educated in nursing, midwifery, and pregnancy and childbirth.

- They dedicate their time fully to new pregnancies and parenting.

- A nanny is an individual who provides care for one or more children in a family as a service.

- They usually go to the house and stay there all day every week while parents are at work or away.

- This also hinders the relationship with parent and child

- Tend to be expensive if you get a full-time operator.

Midwives and Nanny’s