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Parent University:Bullying Prevention and Intervention
By Kristi Angstadt, Stacy Kennedy, and Morgan Snyder
Counselor Interns, UNC Chapel Hill
Icebreaker
• Think of the most important reason you are here. As we go around the room and introduce ourselves, please share your most important reason with the group.
What is Bullying?
• Aggression carried out by one or more individuals through intentional and repetitive acts targeted toward a person who cannot easily defend him or her self due to an imbalance in power.
Prevalence
• “The Bureau of Justice Statistics’ Indicators of School Crime and Safety Report from 2007 indicated that 28% of youth between 12 and 18 years of age were bullied at school in the past 6 months, with about one-fifth (20%) of those stating that it happened at least once or twice a week.” (Hinduja & Patchin, 2010)
Types of Bullying
• Physical- Pushing, hitting, kicking, punching (males)• Verbal- Name calling, offensive remarks, teasing (males
and females)• Intimidation- Using threats to get something or to make
someone to do something against their will (males)• Relational Aggression- Attempts or threats to damage
the victim’s relationships (females)
Types of Bullying
• Social Aggression- Many attempts to destroy all relationships, self-esteem, and social status of the victim (females)
• Indirect- Spreading rumors, gossiping, sharing secrets• Direct- Using verbal statements to leave the victim out of
the group, victim is aware of the identity of the aggressor(s)
Cyber Bullying
• Bullying can be done face-to-face or through the use of technology, which is termed cyber bullying:• Facebook, Twitter, text/photo/video messaging, etc.
• Cyber bullying does not need to be repeated to be equally hurtful as FTF bullying.
• The creation of one embarrassing or discriminatory web page, picture, or comment will cause the victim ongoing humiliation.
Cyber Bullying
• Adolescents perceive photos and video clips to be the most severe form of cyber bullying because the victim is easily identified.
• The bully is often anonymous which causes victims to feel more threatened than in FTF bullying situations.• “It could be anybody”
• Permanence of online material can cause long-term social and emotional damage to the victim.
Effects of Bullying
• Peer victimization:• Is related to low global self-esteem, anxiety, and depression• Can negatively affect the victim’s academic self-efficacy• May then lead to a decrease in academic achievement
• “The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2007) reported that suicide was the third leading cause of death among adolescents in 2004. Even though suicide rates have decreased 28.5% between 1990 and 2004 among young people, upward trends were identified in the 10- to 19-year-old age group.” (Hinduja & Patchin, 2010)
Effects of Bullying
• Experience with peer harassment contributes to: • Depression• Decreased self-worth• Hopelessness• Loneliness• …all of which are precursors to suicidal thoughts and
behavior.
• Both victims and bullies are at an elevated risk for suicidal thoughts, attempts, and completed suicides. • However, the victim of peer harassment is more at risk for
taking his or her own life.
Warning Signs
1. Your child is withdrawn, irritable, and/or cries more than usual.
2. Your child doesn’t want to go to school, avoids school and school events. • Avoidance behaviors are a result of anxiety and stress—
symptoms include headaches, stomachaches, and fatigue.
3. There is a noticeable decrease in your child’s academic performance.
4. Your child views school as an unhappy and/or unsafe place to be.
Warning Signs
5. Your child may exhibit suicidal behaviors in cases of extreme bullying. These include, but are not limited to: • Change in eating and sleeping habits• Change in personality• Rebelliousness• Neglect of personal appearance• Use of drugs or alcohol• Giving away or throwing away possessions• Preoccupation with death• Statements such as “I can’t take it anymore” and “I don’t
deserve to be here”.
If Your Child is Bullied…
• Report the incident to the school (Principal, Teacher, Counselor, etc.).
• Know your school policy! CHCCS Bullying Policy• Spend some time at school and recess if possible.• Start when your child is young. Teach your child the
difference between being submissive, aggressive, and assertive. • It is okay for children to assertively stand up for themselves
(telling people what they want or how they want to be treated without anger or being mean).
• Walking away
If Your Child is Bullied…
• Teach a child when to ask a grown up for help. • Even though some kids are more likely to be bullied, most
kids are exposed to bullying at some point in their lives.
• Listen and take it seriously. • It is difficult for children to come forward and ask for help.
Comfort your child and make sure that they know that they did not deserve to have someone treat them badly.
• Check in often, ask if it is better.
If Your Child is the Bully…
• Take it seriously, don’t treat like a passing phase.• Describe their behavior and why it is not acceptable -
STAY CALM• Do not respond aggressively.• Avoid lecturing in front of peers.• Don’t let the children work things out for themselves.
If Your Child is the Bully…
• Ask for help, check with school professionals and seek outside resources if necessary.
• Help bully apologize to victims.• Teach and build empathy.• Talk to your child about why they are bullying, look for
underlying feelings of sadness, loneliness, insecurity or anger.
• Ask yourself if your child is bullied at home or by another adult. • Children who bully are often bullied themselves.
Keeping Your Child Safe: Prevention
Understand Bullying:• Make sure your child understands bullying, how it can
happen, what their school policy is, and the types of consequences it can have (including legal consequences).
• Know and understand your child’s school policies before bullying becomes an issue. Make sure that you understand any parental responsibilities outlined in your school policy.
Keeping Your Child Safe: Prevention
Monitor:• Know what goes on in your child’s life - give them a few
minutes each day to talk to you about what is going on or share any concerns. This way your child can share concerns as they arise and you can guide him/her in resolving them.
• Monitor your child’s online activity and technology use. Know and understand the types of websites and technology they are using.
Keeping Your Child Safe: Prevention
Monitor:• Talk to your child about using the same level of respect in
online interactions that they would in a face to face interaction. Make sure they understand that what they say on the Internet can hurt just as badly as what they say in person.
• Set boundaries with technology, including time limits, restricted websites, or “activity check-ins”.
• Consider requiring your child to leave their phone in a specified location (such as a drawer in the kitchen) at night to prevent late-night cyber bullying.
Keeping Your Child Safe:Prevention
Skills Training:• Teach your child to stand up to bullying, not only for
themselves but for others - before it becomes an issue. • Help your child practice being assertive.• Teach your child to ask for attention appropriately and
constructively.• Set positive behavior expectations for your children and
model them at home, including appropriate conflict resolution, friendship, and assertiveness skills.
Keeping Your Child Safe:Prevention
Skills Training:• Model positive conflict resolution and teach your child
the skills to resolve their own conflicts. • Practice these skills explicitly with example situations.
Think about how your child sees you resolving conflict. • Model positive conflict resolution with your spouse, friends,
or family in everyday situations. • Encourage your child to practice these skills with siblings or
friends, and guide them through the process as necessary.
Keeping Your Child Safe:Prevention
Skills Training:• The important skills for conflict resolution include: • Recognizing emotions in themselves and others, • Resolving emotional conflicts, • Vocabulary to resolve emotional conflicts, • Listening to both sides of a conflict without interrupting, • Paraphrasing the other person’s side of the story, • Using “I” statements • Working together to find a solution or compromise
CHCCS Bullying Policy
CHCCS Bullying Incident Policy:• Incidents that encompass significant abuse, violence, or
physical harm should be immediately referred to administration.
• It is vital that our students’ confidentiality be maintained at all times. When talking with parents, teachers cannot name the other students involved and can not indicate specific disciplinary measures utilized. • Teachers should reply when asked, “I have followed the
bullying incident protocol and the appropriate measures have and will take place for all students.”
CHCCS Bullying Policy
First Incident• Teacher approaches both students separately and investigates the situation.• Classroom Teacher contacts both sets of parents.• Bullying student should complete a Bully Planning Sheet• Incident is documented using the Bully Referral Form
Second Incident• Teacher approaches both students separately and investigates the situation.
Classroom teacher should implement a natural consequence.• Classroom Teacher contacts both sets of parents.• Bullying student should complete a Bully Planning Sheet• Incident is documented using the Bully Referral Form
Teacher should refer student to counselor for follow up that may include:• Individual counseling• Small group counseling• Behavior plan• Individual intervention
CHCCS Bullying Policy
Third Incident or Above• Incident is documented using the Bullying referral form.• Student is referred to administration.• Administration will interview both students.• Administration will contact both sets of parents• Disciplinary measures will be considered and implemented. May include the following:
• Behavior planning/Behavior Plan• In School Suspension• Detention during or after school• Restitution• Letter of apology• Parent Conference• Loss of Privilege• Book report on Bullying book• Loss of extracurricular activities• Out of School Suspension
Role-Play
• Scenario #1 (4 volunteers): • Your child comes home after school complaining that they
are getting picked on at the bus stop. Your neighbor’s child has been calling your child names and pushing him/her around. • What actions do you take with your child, the bully, and the
bully’s parent(s)? • As the bully’s parent(s), how would you respond?
Role-Play
• Scenario #2 (2 volunteers):• Your child has repeatedly come home from school
complaining about being bullied. You have been in contact with your child’s teacher and there has been no significant change. Now your child is complaining about stomach aches and does not want to go to school. • What is your next course of action? You may pull in additional
volunteers as needed based on your course of action.
Resources
• Resource sheets: websites, books, videos, etc.• The school: counselors, administrators, teachers• Each other!• Eyes On Bullying Toolkit
Questions and Answers
• If you have questions, now is the time to ask!
What’s Going On?A Hopeful Response
• YouTube
