OUR 25th. WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

8/16/2019 OUR 25th. WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

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HI NAN,

JUST WANT TO TELL YA ABOUT OUR 25th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY,

IT’S NOT SOMETHING WE SHARED WITH MANY PEOPLE, JUST TINA,

AND SOME VERY CLOSE FRIENDS LIKE YOU….

GABY AND I DECIDED ON A TRIP TO CHINA, SOMETHING KINDA OUT

OF THE ORDINARY... I CHECKED AROUND, AND LOCATED A GREAT

DEAL ON AIRLINE TICKETS, THE COMPANYS KINDA SMALL AND

DOESN’T DO MUCH ADVERTISING, BUT I LUCKED OUT, IT’S ONE OF

THOSE NO FRILLS, LIMITED SERVICE AIRLINES BUT THEY BRAG

ABOUT A 50/50 CHANCE OF GETTING YOU TO YOUR DESTINATION

SAFELY, MOST, OR ALL THEIR PLANES ARE CONVERTED MILITARY

AIRCRAFT LEFT OVER FROM THE BAGHDAD DAYS, YOU REMEMBER

THAT SHOCK AND AWE THING.....

THIS IS FIRST CLASS



OUR PILOT DIDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, AND UNLIKE MOST AIRLINE

PILOTS, HIS DRESS WAS SOMEWHAT ODD... DURING THE FLIGHT GABY

AND I NOTICED THE PLANE TURNING IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENTDIRECTION FROM OUR INTENDED DESTENATION, WE GOT KIND OF

NERVOUS ABOUT THIS ACTION, BUT OUR STEWARDESS PUT US AT

EASE WHEN SHE EXPLAINED THAT THE PILOT WAS FROM BOSNIA, BUT

RECENTLY CONVERTED TO ISLAM AND RECEIVED HIS JIHAD AND

FLIGHT TRAINING FROM ISIS, SHE WENT ON TO TELL US HE'S A

TRUE JIHAD OR MUJAHEDDIN, SHE SAID THAT HE TURNS THE PLANE

IN THE DIRECTION OF MECCA ACCORDING TO THE KAABA SO THAT HE

CAN PRAY, AND HE LIKES TO SPREAD HIS PRAYER RUG IN THE ISLE OF

THE PASSENGER COMPARTMENT TO DO HIS PRAYING, AND LOOK

FOR LOOSE CHANGE DROPPED BY PASSENGERS, HE TOLD US "NO TO

MAKE WORRY, AUTO PILOT MAKE GOOD, SOMETIMES"....



OUR STEWARDESS, RASHAWN-NA, OR I SHOULD SAY "OUR FLIGHT OR

CABIN ATTENDANT RASHAWN-NA-NA WAS A SWEET HEART

THROUGHOUT THF FLIGHT...

GABY THOUGHT THAT PERHAPS SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN IN AN

ACCIDENT OF SOME SORT, OR A CRASH WHERE HER FACE MADE A

SUDDEN STOP AGAINST A BULKHEAD, BUT I REMINDED HER THIS WAS

A NO FRILLS FLIGHT AND THE HIRING OF EMPLOYEES BASED ON

BEAUTY WAS KIND OF OVERLOOKED......HERE'S OUR CABIN

ATTENDANT RASHAWN-NA-NA-NA

RASHWAN-NA-NA-NA-NA & THE POOR IRISH FLIGHT ATTENDANT

THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT SHOWED UP PERIODICALLY, HER

CONDITION, IT WAS EXPLAINED, WAS DUE TO HER BRINGING OUR

PILOT USAAMA, A BACON, LETTUCE AND TOMATO SANDWICH AND A

COLD BUDWEISER......THE POOR GIRL DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, SHE

WAS FROM AN IRISH CATHOLIC FAMILY AND DIDN’T KNOW SHIT

ABOUT MIDDLE EASTERN CULTURE…

THE FLIGHT IN IT'S SELF WAS UNEVENTFUL, THAT IS, UNTIL

WE APPROACHED THE COASTLINE OF CHINA, UNKNOWN TO US AT

THE TIME, CHINA WAS CELEBRATING THE FINAL CONSTRUCTION OF

ONE OF THEIR MANY MAN MADE ISLANDS, REMEMBER I SAID WE



WERE FLYING IN A CONVERTED MILITARY AIR CRAFT??? WELL, WE

WERE GREETED BY THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE AS WE

APPROACHEDTHE CHINA COAST....

THIS DIDN'T SEEM TO FAZE OL' USAAMA; HE ROLLED UP HIS RUG,

MADE A B-LINE FOR THE COCKPIT, AND STARTED LOOSING ALTITUDE

AND ATTITUDE FAST. HE TRIED TO CONTACT THE TOWER FORPERMISSION TO LAND, BUT THEN REMEMBERED THE FINISHED

ISLAND CELEBRATION, SO HE BUZZED THE TOWER TO MUSTER THE

CONTROLLERS ATTENTION, BUT ALL HE SAW WAS THE RESULTS OF THE

CELABRATION…

UNPHASED BY THE INFIDELS BEHAVIOUR AND THEIR INTOXICATED

STATE, USAAMA DECIDED TO LAND THIS CRAFT WITHOUT THE

ASSISTANCE OF THE DRUNKEN TOWER PERSONNEL....GABY AND I

WATCHED AS HE APPROACHED THE MAIN RUNWAY, LANDING GEARDOWN, AIR SPEED REDUCED, CABIN ATTENDANTS HOLDING ON TO

WHATEVER, AND LOUD PRAYING TO ALLAH FROM THE COCKPIT….

ي ص س و م س ب ة ر ط ل ا ضرا…. TOUCHDOWN!, ONE BUMP, THEN

TWO OR THREE MORE, ENGINES IN REVERSE, TABS UP, BRAKES ON

………….AND….



THEN A SUDDEN LOUD BANG, THAT’S WHERE GABY AND I NOTICED

THE MAIN LANDING GEAR ROLL OFF TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE

PLANE.....NOW WE'RE RUNNING DOWN THE RUNWAY TOWARDS THE

BEACH AREA AT ABOUT 200 / 250 MPH AND OUR FEET AND BUTTS

ARE GETTING VERY WARM, WE WERE IN A COMPLETE STATE OF

PANIC,

OUR ONLY CONSOLATION WAS KNOWING WE BOTH HAD ON CLEAN

UNDERWEAR....JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO LET OUT THE "WE'RE

FUCKING DOOMED" SCREAM, GABY GRABS ME BY THE THROAT AND

YELLS "DON'T BE SUCH A GOD DAMNED PUSSY" AND BEFORE SHE

COULD TIGHTEN HER GRIP ANY FURTHER, IN POPS MY LIFE SAVER

RASHAWN-NA-NA-NA-NA WITH A BIG SMILE ON HER FACE, "SEE?

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, WE MADE IT," AND MADE IT WE DID,

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TAKE A TAXI TO THE BEACH OR TO OUR

HOTEL WHICH WAS JUST A SHORT DISTANCE FROM THE BEACH…

THIS IS THE FLOATING HOTEL THAT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY AT….

HOWEVER A PIECE OF DEBREE FROM THE AIR CRAFT LANDED ON THE DECK

AND CAUSED A MAJOR HOLE, AND THE HOTEL SANK.



PART 2

THE PLOT THICKENSSCROLL DOWN

THE BEACHES WHERE WE LANDED WERE OK, BUT FULL OF

AIRCRAFT WRECKAGE PARTS AND PIECES..

AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, ONE OF THE LOCALS WAS SO KIND, AND TOLD GABY AND I ABOUT A BEACH, JUST A SHORTDISTANCE FROM WHERE WE HAD OUR BUMPY LANDING, THELOCAL WENT ON TO EXPLAIN THAT IT WOULD REQUIRE A

SHORT RIDE ON ONE OF THEIR TRADITIONAL LUXURY WATERCRAFT, WE WERE PRETTY EXCITED, AND BY THAT TIME WEWERE GAME FOR ANYTHING, SO WE AGREED..HE SOLD US TWOROUND TRIP TICKETS FOR $60.OO EACH AND TOLD US WHERETO BOARD, HE THEN LEFT US WITH THESE PARTING

WORDS我只是做簡單的二十從這兩個白痴 WHAT EVER



THAT MEANS…..

WE WERE SOMEWHAT DISAPPOINTED, TO SAY THE LEAST, IT

APPEARS THE CRAFT WAS SLIGHTLY OVERBOOKED, IT HADLITTLE TO OFFER IN THE WAY OF FACILITIES ANDINTERTAINMEN, TRADITIONAL LUXURY WATER CRAFT MY ASS… BUT, WHAT THE HELL, WE MAY AS WELL MAKE THE BEST OF IT.

THE BEACHES WERE ALSO A TAD BIT CROWDED FOR OUR

LIKING, BUT WE FIGURED WE’RE HERE, SO, AGAIN, “WHAT THEHELL,” IT’S A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME VENTURE, IT’S OUR 25th

ANNIVERSARY, SO LETS MAKE THE BEST OF IT…



NOT A CHANCE IN THE WORLD OF GETTING SUN BURNED…

WE STUCK IT OUT, DID A LITTLE SIGHT SEEING, VISITED THEGREAT WALL OF CHINA, ATE SOME OF THE LOCAL FOOD ANDFOUND A GREAT PHARMACY WITH LOADS OF KAOPECTATE, (ONSALE.) OUR RETURN TRIP WAS UNEVENTFUL, WE INVESTED IN







THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ ALL THIS BULLSHIT,WE NEVER BELIEVED YOU WOULD GET TO THE LAST PAGE OFTHIS SHIT WITHOUT DELETING THE WHOLE MESS. THANKS.....

FEEL FREE TO SHARE OUR ADVENTURE WITH ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS, WE WON’T MIND : > )







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OUR 25th. WEDDING ANNIVERSARY