Oscar Wilde 4

7/28/2019 Oscar Wilde 4

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his most cele brated performances, and smiled bitterly to himself as he

recalled to m ind his last appearance as 'Red Reuben, or the Strangled

Babe,' his debut as 'Gaunt Gibeon, the Blood-sucker of Bexley Moor,' and

the furore he had excite d one lovely June evening by merely playing

ninepins with his ow n bones upon the lawn-tennis ground. And after all t his,

some wret ched modern Americans were t o come and offer him the Rising

Sun Lubricator, and throw pillows at his head! It wa s quite unbearable.

Besides, no ghost in history had ever been treat ed in this manner .

Accordingly, he determined to ha ve vengeance, a nd remained till daylight

in an attitude of deep t hought.

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I I I

The next morning, when the Otis family met at break fast, they discussed

the ghost at some length. The United States Minister w as naturally a little

annoyed to find that his present had not bee n acce pted. 'I have no wish,' he

said, 'to do the ghost any personal injury, and I must say that, considering

the length of time he ha s been in the house, I don't think it is at all polite to

throw pillows at him' - a very just remark, at w hich, I a m sorry to say, thetwins burst into shouts of laughter. 'Upon the other hand,' he continued, 'if

he really declines to use the Rising Sun Lubricator, w e shall have to ta ke

his chains from him. It w ould be quite impossible to sleep, wit h such a

noise going on outside the bedrooms.'

For the rest of the w eek, how ever, they we re undisturbed, the only thing

that e xcited a ny attention being the continual renewa l of the blood-stain on


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the library floor. This certainly was very strange, as the door was alw ays

locked at night by Mr. Otis, and the w indows kept c losely barred. The

chameleon-like colour, also, of the stain exc ited a good deal of comme nt.

Some mornings it w as a dull (almost Indian) red, then it w ould be vermilion,

then a rich purple, and once w hen they cam e dow n for family prayers,

according to the simple rites of the Free American Reformed Episcopalian

Church, they found it a bright e merald green. These kaleidoscopic c hanges

naturally amused the party very much, and bets on the subject we re freely

made e very evening. The only person who did not enter into t he joke w as

little V irginia, who, for some unexplained reason, was alw ays a good deal

distressed a t t he sight of t he blood-stain, and very nearly cried t he morning

it w as emerald-green.

The second appearance of the ghost wa s on Sunday night. Shortly after

they had gone to bed t hey we re suddenly alarmed by a fearful crash in the

hall. Rushing downstairs, they found that a large suit of old armour had

become det ached from its stand, and had fallen on the stone floor, while,

seated in a highbacke d chair, wa s the Cante rville ghost, rubbing his knees

wit h an e xpression of acute agony on his face. T he tw ins, having brought

their pea-shooters with the m, at once discharged tw o pellets on him, w ith

that a ccuracy of aim w hich can only be at tained by long and carefulpractice on a w riting-master, w hile the United State s Minister covered him

wit h his revolver, and called upon him, in accordance wit h Californian

etiquett e, to hold up his hands! The ghost started up w ith a w ild shriek of

rage, and sw ept through them like a mist, ext inguishing Washington Otis's

candle as he passed, and so leaving them all in tota l darkness. On reaching

the t op of the staircase he recovered himself, and determined to give his


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celebrate d peal of demoniac laughter. This he had on more than one

occasion found extrem ely useful. It w as said to have turned Lord Raker's

wig grey in a single night, and had certainly made three of Lady

Canterville's French governesses give w arning before t heir month w as up.

He accordingly laughed his most horrible laugh, till the old vaulted roof

rang and rang again, but hardly had the fearful echo died aw ay w hen a door

opened, and Mrs. Otis came out in a light blue dressing-gown. 'I am afraid

you are far from well,' she said, 'and have brought you a bottle of Dr.

Dobell's tincture. I f it is indigestion, you will find it a most ex cellent

remedy.' The ghost glared at he r in fury, and began at once to mak e

preparations for turning himself into a large black dog, an acc omplishment

for which he wa s justly renowned, and to which the family doctor always

att ributed t he permanent idiocy of Lord Canterville's uncle, the Hon.

Thomas Horton. The sound of approaching footsteps, howe ver, made him

hesitate in his fell purpose, so he contented himself w ith becoming faintly

phosphorescent, and vanished with a deep churchyard groan, just as the

tw ins had come up to him.

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On reaching his room he entirely broke down, and bec ame a prey to themost violent agitation. The vulgarity of the tw ins, and the gross

mate rialism of Mrs. Otis, were naturally extreme ly annoying, but w hat

really distressed him most w as, that he ha d been unable to wea r the suit of

mail. He ha d hoped that e ven modern Americans would be thrilled by the

sight of a Spectre I n Armour, if for no more sensible rea son, at least out of

respect for their national poet Longfellow, over w hose graceful and

att ractive poetry he himself had whiled awa y many a wea ry hour when the

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Oscar Wilde 4