o

DEVOTED TO POLITICS, NEWS, LITERATURE, AMD THE BEST INTERESTS OF OREGON.- -

YQL. OREGON CITY, FRIDAY, APRIL 23, NO., 26.--

THE ENTERPRISE.A LOCAL DEMCCHATIC NEWSPAPER

FOR THEFtrmsr, Bnuntss Man, & Family Circle.

1S817BD EVBRY FRIDAY.

KDITbR AND PUBLISHER.

rriciit papzii fob clackamas co.

fiFFirtf-H- n Estkrpriw BulWinff, oneJot outh of M --Milc Building, Mam St.

Term ft KulcrlptIon t

Mn- -l Copv One Year. In Advance $2.50

" Six Months " 0

Trrirn Advertising J

odvertUemerits, Including"lliec.it notlwu. ' siuarc of twelvelino one ivcek.. ?

For each subsequent Insertion. Jjg

Ono Column, one year M MHif , ;;;;; 40.00

&ViE Car. 1 ..nej- -

" '. -SOCIETY NOTICES.

KE(i()1 LOIHiB NO. 3, I. I. O. F.,Meet evcrv Thursday

e viiin; at 7 ! oVloek, In theodd Fellows Hall. Mainstreet. Members of the. Or-d- er

are invited to attend. By order"

ItKHKCCl imCUlili NO

3 I. (). O. Meets on the trsday oveiims carh mouth, .rat 7' o Hi uie v.ni'i

II dl. Membersof the Decree,ir invited to attend.

MULTNOMAH LOUGH NO. I,.Y.Lct A. M., Holds its regular com- - AiiiiiMit-itioi- is on the First and VT.iir-- I Saturdays in each month,nl 7 o'clock from thc'th of S.timber to the mJJih of March ; and 7-

oVIo-.-- from the I'Oth of March to theof Srptemter. lirethren in good

Ntan lin;' aro invited to attend.15y order of W. M.

IfAl.US liNCVMl'MKN T NO. 4,1. O.

O.K., Mets at Odd Fellows' J$outhe First mid Third Tuos-di- v

of evh month. Patriarchs vria fd wtandin are invited to attend.

CLli'K F.N CAM 11 UN 1' XO. 2, C.U. Me-t- s at O Id Fellows' Hall, in Ore-i- :

i Citv, Or-xn- . n Monday evening, at7 .Vlvk. of th.? order ,aro m-v- it

! to wrfii'l. M. C. ATIIE , C.J. .vl. liAC jv. It. X. maJTly

n v s i x H s .? c a it D .sr.

J. V. NOKliiS.I'aVSll'l VX AX3 Sl'IttiEOX,

o a o x c i r r, o : yj o x.ttfOTdK In OU:rman's r.rick.

Mam Strot t. . ausmi.

W. W. MO 11 ELAND,2

ATTORNEY-AT-LA- W;

OIIICUON CITY, OIIEBDX.

OKKICK Main Street, opposite theCourt llvaw.

t

ATTO RN $ Y-AT- -L A W:Q1E33N CITYl " - OHEGON.

"OFFICE Cl loan's brick, Main st.i 187:2 :tf.

JOHNSON & McCOWNITtmSYS AND COUNSELORS AT-LA- W

Oregon City, Oregon.fJVilI practice in all the Courts of the

tn U. S. Una uracn ni ircgon viij .5arrlS72-t- f.

L.T. pARINATTORNEY-AT-LA- W,

OREGON CITl, OREGON.

OFFICE Over rpe' Tin Store, Maintreet. II 21mar73-t- f.

Dr. S. PARKER,LATE OF rOR"MD, OFFERS HIS

as Ih. Ician and Surgeon tothe people of Clackamas county, who may

t any time be In n ed of a physician. Hohas op ned an offlc at Ward A Harding'sIrug Store wlwre ho can be found at alltims of the day when not engaged in pro-fessional calls. Residence, Main Street,next door bt one above R. Caufield's store.

October 20, 1371. t tf

JOHN A. BACON,aniIeIMPORTER ALER

in Books, StationerVJperfum- -ry, etc., etc.

Oregon City, Oregon.

"At Oharman A Warner's old stand,tely occupied by S. Ackeman, Main st.

OREGON CITY BREWERY.

Henry Humbel,

HAVIX PiTTir-- a--f the above Brew-- S'ry wishes lo Intern thn r.iibllc that he isnow prepared to manufacture a No. 1 dual-ity of

T.AOBR BURR,fi? PWV' as can bo obtained anywhere in

,? 7tate. Orders solicited and promptlynited.

OYSTER SALOON

REST AUR A. MT !

LOUIS SAAL, Proprietor.Mln Street, - - - - Oregon City.rVYSTERS WILL, HE SERVED FROM. nd thls dat' during the Wintereaon. The best qualities ofFRENCH d AMERICAN CANDIES.

Ice for sale in quantities to suit.

A Representative and Champion of Amer- -irnn 4rt Tnstpl

Prospectus for 1875 EigJdlt Year.

THE ijLDIiYE,THE ART JOCR.VVL OF AMERICA,

Issued Monthly.

" A Magnificent Conception, Wonderfullycarried out."

The necessity of a popular medium forthe representation of the productions ofour preat artists, has always been recog-nized, and many attempts have beenmade to meet the want. The successivefailures which so Invariable followed eachattempt in this country to establish anart journal, did not prove the indifferenceof the American people to the claims ofhigrh art. So soon as a proper appreciationof the want and an ability to meet It wereshown, the pnblic at onco ralied with en-thusiasm to its support, and the result wasa preat artistic and commercial triumphTHE ALDIXE.

THEALDIXE, wnile issued with all theregularity, has none of the temporary ortimely interest characteristic of ordinaryperiodicals. It Is an elegant miscellany ofpure, light, and graceful literature; and acollection of pictures, the rarest specimensof artistic skill. In black and white. Al-though each succeeding number affords afresh pleasure to'its friends, the real valueand beauty of TheAidine will be most ap-preciated after it is bound up at the closeof the year. While other publicationsmay claim superior cheapness, ns compar-ed with rivals of a similar class, The Aldineis an unique and original conceptionalone and unapproached absolutely with-out competition in price or character. Thepossessor of a complete volume could notduplicate the quantity of line paper andengravings in any other shape or numberof volumes for ten times its cost ; and thenthere is the chromo besides!PREMIUM FOT?, 1875.

Every subscriber for 1875 will receive abeautiful portrait, In oil colors, of the samenoble dog whose picture In a former issueattracted so much attcntisn.

" .Han's I'nsi'Ifish Friend''will bo welcome in every homo. Every-body loves such a dog, and the portrait isexecuted so true to the liff. that it seemsthe veritable presence of the nnimal itself.The Kov. T. lo Wit Tannage tells that hisown New Koundland dog (the finest inBrooklyn) barks at it ! and though so nat-ural, no one who sees this premium chro-mo will have the slightest fear of beingbitten.

Besides tho chromo, every advance sub-scriber to The Aldine for 1875 is constituteda member, and entitled to all the privil- -

;es orTHE ALDINE ART UNION.

The Union owns the originals of all theAirline pictures, which, with other paintings and engravings, are to be distributediniongthe members. To every scries of

hk) subscribers, 100 diftVrent pieces, valu- -d at over $2,500. are to be distributed as

soon as the series is full, and the awardsof each series as made, are to be publishedn the next succeeding issue of The Aidxne.

This feature applies only to subscriberswho pay lor one year in advance. Fullparticulars in circular sent on applicationenclosing a stamp.

TERMS.Our Suhsrriptioii, eitUlin;x to THE

illjDIJN K oii year, the l liromouitd the Art Viiiuit,

SG per Annum, in Advance.(Xo charge for postage.)

Specimen copies of THE ALUIXE, 50c.CANVASSERS WANTED.

Any person wishing to act permanentlyas a local canvasser will receive full andpromt information by applying to

THE ALDINE COMPANY,5 M.UDISN I, AXIS, XKW VO!!.

D LOTH! In oY o

I now offi"r this stock of Goodsn at Prices far below any other Thouse in the State.

() Times are hard and moneyscarce and I will give every one

() the worth of their money.I also keep a full assortment AI) of

OREGON CITY MADEs Men ntl Hoys' DC lot III ii (r,c I'lidenvca r.

Flu ii no lx,I lla tiUet. SAnd Yarn .G HA Groceries,

ALSO ()11 Cutlery,

Jewt-lr)-- , ES Notions,3Iuirl SIiiMtriiments,

H Toys,Etc., TAT THE

TA Lowest Prices 0

BS For CSBL Ac AT. CA A.LEVYS. CP oS oct!6tf sOREGON STEAMSHIP GO.'S

STEAMBOAT NOTICE !

2.

Sti E. TST. COOKE,Will leave OREGON CITY for PORTLANDeverv day Except Sunday,! at 7J$ o'clock,A. M. Returning, will leave Portland forOregon City at 2 o'clock, P. M.

Str. ALICE,Will leave OREGON CITY for CORVALLISevery Monday and Thursday of each week.

Sti DAYTON,Will leave OREGON CITY for McMINN-VILL- E,

LAFAYETTE and PaYTON, andall points between, every Monday, Wed-nesday and Friday of each week. Ieavesthe Basin at 8 o'clock, a. m., and connectwith the train at Canemah at 9, A. si.

Sti ALBANY,Leaves OREGON CITY for IIARRISBURGand EUGEXE and all intermediate pointsevery week.

Sti. EniTiiie IPatton,Leaves OREGON CITY for ALBANY andall intermediate points between twice ev-ery week. J. D. BILES, Agent,

Oregon City.February, 141. 874.

DR. JOHN WELCHDENTIST,

OFFICE IXOREGON CITY, OREGON.

Highest Ch Price Paid for County-Order- .

FORJSALE.UNDERSIGNED OFFERS HHTHE in Oswego, for sale at a bar-

gain, for cash. There is a fine dwellingand out buildings, orchard and. aboot thrneacres of land. Finely situated for a board'irig house for the h'aads employed In. theIroji Works. W? CAINS

Oswego, Sept. 10, 1874. 3w

Hiram Jenkins' Mistake.BY CHARLES E. HCED,

Hiram Jenkins drove slowly upthe road that led to the farm houseof Deacon Bates. It was plain evento the casual observer-tha- t the er-rand he was bound upon was of nocommon importance. No man wouldhave arrayed himself so gorgeously,simply for the purchase of a tub offall butter or a yoke of steers. Hishair was in a state of distressingsmoothness, and seemed almost apart of the glossy hat which coveredit. His coat and pantaloons weremarvels in their way, and his bootswhich had been elaborately blacked,reflected the rays of the setting sunin a manner perfectly blinding tothe beholder. And yet notwith-standing his superiority in all theserespects to the lilies of "the field therewas apparent in his actions a singu-lar sort of nervousness, a trepidityalmost, which rendered his appear-ance ridiculous and awkward. Thistrepidation was in no wise lessen-ed by the sudden vision of a red-headed urchin watching him fromthe barn door, and who, as the teamapproached, with an ever wideninggrin, sped off in the direction of thefarm house and disappeared throughthe kitchen door. Hirain was con-scious a minute afterwards of beingthe target for a dozen pair of eyesfrom the sitting room windows, andit required extraordinary strengthof mind on his part to drive past thehouse to the shed where the horsesof all visitors were hitched. Thereare few more awkward things to dothan to get in or out of a carriagewhen women are watchincr. andthough Hiram had probably neverthought of the fact before ho fullyexperienced its truth, as, endeavoring to spring genteelly from the bug-gy, his foot slipped on the wheel andhe came down on his hands andknees in the dirt. His remarks ashe scrambled to his feet were confin-ed to one word, but that, thoughshort, was the most expressive one inthe English language.

" I'll have to go around to the barnpump and wash my hands before Ican go in," ho said to himself. "Isuppose thev are having their funout of me in the house now. Confound it, I wish I hadn't started!"

As he passed the door of the horse-bar- n,

which was partly open, heheard the sound of voices. lie lis-tened, and his heart sank as he rec-ognized the tones of his rival, Elna-tha- n

Ilogcrs."I want her bad," he was saying.

" She just suits me. You can't al-

ways have her, you know, and you'dbetter call the thing settled."

" I don't know about that," an-swered the deacon doubtfully. "I'vealways said, come' what would, Iwouldn't part with Jennv. But youhang on so I don't know "

nay it's a bargain, deacon, I'vethought it over a good while andJenny I must have. I'll treat herwell, you may be sure of that."

The deacon hesitated, blew liisnose, and finally said:

" She's crot some little tricks thatnobodv knows anvthing about butme, and I don't want to impose upona neighbor."

" Oh, pshaw! that's only an excuseof yours, deacon. I'm willing torisk it."

" She kicked me in the stomachlast winter, and bit little Sammy notmor'n six weeks ago. I can showyou the scar now."

' Great King!" thought Hiram,"and I was going to pop the ques-tion this very night. Who everwould have though it!"'

"I'll take that out of her," saidElnathan, continuing the conversa-tion. " If she so much as lifts afoot to me, I'll give her a lick-i-n'

that'l last her a month."" Lick!" ejaculated Hiram to him-

self, astonished beyond measure." Lick Jenny Bates! Well, this goesahead of anything I ever heard of.And the old man doesn't say a word!What next?"

A long pause ensued, which was atlast broken by the deacon:

" Well, if you must have her, youmust. I expect the old lady'll wantsomething to say about it though.She thinks as much of Jenny as I do.Won't you come into the house?"

" Not now. I've got to go downto the village before dark. I'll beround sometime

Hiram Jenkins waited until he sawhis successful rival climb the fencebetween the two farms. When hedeliberately unhitched his horse, gotinto his wagon and drove off, nevercasting a look toward the windowwhere the fair Jenny sat in watchfulexpectation. Not until he reachedhis own door did he draw a longbreath.

" It seems just like a dream," saidhe to himself, as he slowly unbuck-led the harness. " To think of Jen-ny Bates kicking her own father andbiting her own brother, and she look-ing as though butter wouldn't meltin her mouth! It's just as meanthough in the deacon to lick as 'tisfor her to kick. The old hypocrite.Well, I must say, I'm mightily de-ceived in the Bateses. 1 s'pose El-nathan Rogers feels ranky enoughnow he's got her. I just hppe thatshe'll kick his head off. Lucky formo that I overhead what little I did."

Notwithstanding this self gratula-tio- n,

Hiram felt all the pangs of jeal-ously and disappointment. He hadnot only lost his "girl," but he hadbeen cut out in the most mortifyingmanner by a man heheld in thoroughcontempt. He felt that even withwhat he now knew of Jenny's faults,if he could gain her hand he wouldcarry her off in spite of his rival orthe deacon either.

A week passed by, and Jenny wasnever out of bii thoughts. , One dayhe went to tha village,, aadf.vbilethere, standing in front of the post

office, Elnathan Rogers drove upwith the deacon's mare.

I s'pose now he's got Jenny, hethinks he's got a right to the wholeproperty," muttered Hiram. " Iwish to gracious the old mare wouldput her feet through the dashboard.".

That night the singing school metat the Academy. Hiram came , late.He used to sit with the tenors jnstbehind Jenny Bates. Now he chosea different seat and tried bard tosing bass. He could not, however,help seeing Elnathan Rogers passpeppermint lozengers to Jenny, andalso write something onthe blankleaf of her singing-book- , which,, bheread and answered.

" Of course he'll go home with herto-nigh- t," muttered Hiram. "It'llbe the first time I've missed it fora year. He's welcome though."

All intermission he kept his seatand pretended to be very busy look-ing for some tune in the singing-boo- k

that refused to be found. Jen-ny did not look at him.

The doxology closed the school atlast, and there was a grand bustlingabout the door, and an eager pushingamong the young men to make sureof their favorites. Hiram was tryingto make his way through the crowd,when he found himself at the elbowof Jenny Bates, and the same mo-mome- nt

the hateful voice of Elna-than Rogers was heard in thesewords:

" Shall I see you home to-nig-

Miss Bates?""No, sir," was the prompt answer.

" I shall walk home alone."Hiram was totally unjrepared for

this." Perhaps it's one of her fits,' he

said to himself. "The deacon-- saidshe had 'em; that nobody knew buthimself. I'm mighty glad she mit-tene- d

him though."The word mitten reminded Hiram

that he had left both on his seat inthe school-room- , and he steppedback just a3 the candles were beingput out.

"Hero's Jenny Bates' singing-book,- "

he heard one boy say to an-other. "She went off in such ahurry to-nig- she forgot it."

Give it to me," said Hiram, whoremembered what had taken placethat evening, and with eager looksought out the written messages thathad passed between Jenny and hisrival. They were as follows:

"Tell your father he cheated mewhen I bought old Jenny. I thoughtby her name she must be good forsomething, she kicks and bites tentimes worse than he ever told me. Iwish now I had spoken for the Jennyin the house instead of the one inthe barn."

And the answer:" I guess the horse is as good as

you deserve. As for your choosingbetwixt the t.vo you mention, youwon't be able to do that this year.You have got the only Jenny youcan ever get from my father."

A new light broke in upon Hiram." Well of all the infernal fools I

ever heard of I am the biprgest. Adog would have had more senseIt's not too lute now, thank heaven.'

. .fryit - mxne aeparting crowd started asHiram with the singing-boo- k in hishand, rushed down the stairs, twosteps at a time, and up the roadwhich led to Deacon Bates'. If hewas not too lato he was nearly so, forJenuy had just opened the crate ofthe front yard.

"Stop, Jenny!" he exclaimed,panting lor breath. " Here s yoursinging-book- . lou left it on yourseat, i tried to overtake you.

" You needn't to have taken thetrouble, Mr. Jenkins; I guess no onewould have stolen it. said Jennvwith a great display of dignity andmaking a show of going into thehouse.

"JJont Jenny! Wait wait just aminute, j. Know i vc acted like abig fool; but just let me explain toyou."

Jenny hesitated a moment, madeanother start toward the door, thenturned and went back to the gatewhere the discomfited Hiram stoodwaiting. ...

ell, she said in as freezing atone as she could command.

" Now don't look and talk that waydeuny xates. ion Know 1 neverwould have acted as I have ifii au n l inougni x uad good reasonsfor it. I thought you were goingto marry Jtidnatnan itogers.

" What business had you to thinkany such thing?" asked Jenny, firingup. " A. pretty explanation that is!'and again she turned away from thegate.

"Stop! Let me tell you. Can'!you listen a minute?" said Hiram indesperation. He felt that there wasno other way than to make a cleanbreast of it, and plunged into hisstory at once. Word for word he related the conversation he had heardin the horse barn, and the effect ithad upon him. He was deeply inearnest, and in closing, humbly appealed for forgiveness. He saw hertremble and put her hands to herface. Poor girl, she pitied himHis heart rose and his hand was upon the gate to open it, when a peaof laughter, louder and longer frombeiner so lone rent up. rang out upon the night air, almost startlingHiram out of his boots, and wakingthe deacon and his wife from a soundsleep in the upper front bed-roo-

Up went the window and a night- -capped head was thrnst out, withdemand as to what was the matterStill Jenny laughed, while Hiramstood silent by the gate, angry andashamed, not knowing whether toadvance or go back. At last Jennyfound her voice.

" Go home. Hiram" Jenkins " she

said, "say your prayers and go tosleep, and if you want to say anything more to me. come ur to-m- or

row. evening after supper. But minddon't Vou cro listenmcr at anv." horse

i barns on vourf wav home:". and she

COURTESY OF BANCROFT LIBRARY,UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA,DTTRtrrT TTY C AT.TFORNIA- -

nKlY

W1

OREGON, 1875.

NOLTNER,

went off in another peal of laughter.Hiram did not wait to say good-

night. Whether he slept or saidhis prayers that night, is not record-ed, but it is a fact that eight o'clockthe next evening found him in Dea-con Bates' parlor. ' The interviewwas a long and probably an interest-ing one, and its immediate resultwas, that before Thanksgiving, thedeacon had neither a Jenny in thehouse nor in the stable.

" That was years ago, and Hiramhas since done the town some serviceas select-ma- n, and is likewise a dig-nified justice of the peace.

Miscellaneous.

People who argue that fires insleeping rooms are unhealthy, gener-ally speak more freely on the subjectin the summer time.

It is probably true that an honestman is the noblest work of God, butit looks very much as if the modelhad been lost, and most of the latestworks arc very bad imitations, .

A wealthy Philadelphian who diedrecently stipulated in his will thatus nearest relative should assassinate the obituary editor of the dailyljedqer if he made any political remarks on the subject.

A Kansas family has lived fourdays on dried apples and snow. Adown easter with such chances wouldhave crawled out from under thedrifts with eleven patents for makingdried apple ice-crea-

Among the articles in a box of donations lately sent to Kansas was atract entitled "The Wickedness ofGluttony." It must have been rather aggravating, unless, indeed, it wasintended for the grasshoppers."Sam, if you were out in a boat and

she was about to go down, whatwould you do ?" "I'd Beech (h) er toieep her from Iilton.

A Spring street boy, who had eaten eight or ten green oranges, leanedacross a chair and howled with pain.His was an attack of "true inward-ness," if there ever was one, for hisinwards were in an awful shape.

The Indianapolis Journal remarksthat "it takes a mighty sight of peo-ple to keep the truth from comingout." So it does; but it looks a gooddeal like attempting to cure a man ofdropsy by coopering him with a hoopskirt.

lhe Cincinnati inquirer tells ot awoman there who has triplets, and ofanother who has three pair of twins.Thev disagree as to which of themholds the best hand. Schenck saysthree of a kind beats two pairs, buthe don't say how many of a kind ittakes to beat three pairs.

It is common in Milwaukee to seea street, car truagmg aiong siowiy,and it is also common to see a mancome tumbling out of the back doorover the railing and into the mud,while the conductor stands on thematform and ejaculates: "l'ay yourfare with horn buttons will ye! .

A Pleasant Prospect. Traveler, inIreland: "Hi pull her Tip, man!Don't you see the mare is runningaway? Driver: "Hould. a .

tight,1

yer. 1

Onor! l or yer lifo don t touch tnereins! sure they're as rotten as pears!I'll turn her into the river at thebridge below here! That will stopher, the blagyard!"

Mrs. Wm. Pluntz, of Albany, sep-arated from her husband after onlytwo weeks" of wedlock, because hesnored no loud that she could notsleep. Her plea before the court was"cruelty to the sex." .The courtcould not hell) her out of her trou-ble, but she finally prevailed uponher husband to give her $100 and re-

lease her and she went her way.

Plain Serving-man- : "What withthese 'ere new laws, mum, the birdsis more troublesome, this year, thanever. The place swarms with 'em!"Old lady: "Well, Thomas, we'd bet-ter put up a scarecrow." Serving-man- ;

"Lor' bless yer, mum! scare-crows ain't o' no use. 'Blieve thaybirds'd come just the same if I wasto go and stand there myself!"

The Men Who are Going to Do.This reminds me of some men whoare always going to do great things,but never begin. I once had a neigh-b6- r

and, in fact, may have some ofthe same sort now who was perpet-ually telling what he was going todo, consequently never had time todo anything. He would get up earlyin the morning, draw on a heavy pairof boots, with pants tucked inside;then to see him start out for the barn,making everything fly right and left,one might suppose him to be one ofthe driving sort. So he was, for anhour, or less, or until called to break-fast, after which he would light hispipe, stroll over to his nearest neigh-bor, or hang over the fence and talkto every passerby, repeating the sameold story of what he was going to do

or next week. It is need-less to say that my neighbor soonfound that farming was a poor busi-ness.

I can call to mind a number ofsimilar instances where the best ofresolutions failed to bring success!It is well enough for a farmer to getup early and "storm about" a littlein the morning; but if he lacks the"sticktoitiveness" all this bluster willnot amount to much in the long run.

Neat, cosy homes, good gardens,orchards and. other home comfortsare never obtained by these going-to- -

do sort ol lolks. Jxural Aetc Yorker

Rather Costly. It cost sixty mil-lions of dollars under Democraticrule to run the Government. It costsone hundred and ninety-fou- r millionsof dollars to run the Government fora year. .This is exclusive of the interest on the public debt.

J ohnson's Kindling Wood.

Ladies who have husbands whoare negiectiui . in supplying themwith kindlings should carefully studythe experience of a Division streetsister. All her married life she hair,had an unbroken struggle with herhusband to. keep herself suppliedwith wood;4 anid the gre'Ster part ofthe time has been obliged to dependupon; her own deftness with the axe",'and, anyone who has seen a womanbandle on axe knows what a'dread- -

ful thing it is. Two months ago shebegged of him - not .to go away with-out leaving her --some kindlings." Hesaid he wouldn't. But he finally did.Then she hit upon a plan. She hadfour dozen clothes pins. She tookone dozen of them for starting thefire, and found they worked admirably. The next day she used anotherdozen, and so she continued untilthe four dozen were gone. Then shewent to the store-- and purchased another four dozen having them "putin the bill," When they were goneshe repeated the errand. She saidno more to him about kindlings. Forten years she had kept up the battle,-an-

now she was tired and sick atheart. He could go his own way,and she would go hers patiently.uncomplainingly till the end Avouldcome.

On Monday he signified at thestore that he would like to settle hisaccount. The bill was made out andhanded him. He glanced down theitems. As he advanced along thecolumn his face began to work.

Xirst his eyes slowly enlarged,then his mouth gradually opened,caused by the dropping of the lowerjaw; and wrinkles formed upon hisforehead. One third down the col-umn he formed his lips as if to whis-tle. Four lines below he did whis-tle. Half way down he said:

"Gra-cious!- "

A little further on he said:"Thunder!"Four more lines were taken in, and

he spoke again:"By the Jumping Jupiter!"Then he read on, smiting his thigh

vigorously, and giving vent to vari-ous expressions of the liveliest na-ture. Finally he threw the bill down.

"I say, Benson, look there, thiscan't be my bill; you've got me mix-ed up with some laundry!"

"That's your bill," said the grocer,smiling pleasantly.

"I tell you it can't be," persistedthe Division street- - man. "Whhere's fifty five dozen clothes pins ina two month's bill. What on earthdo you take me for a four storylaundry i

"But it is your bill. Your wifecan explain it to you. She orderedthe pins."

"My wife?" gasped the unfortunate man.

The debtor clutched the bill, jammed it in his pocket, and hurriedstraight home. He bolted into thehouse without any abatement ofspeed, and flinging the paper on thetable before hi3 wife, knocked hishat on the back of his head and said:

"Martha Ann Johnson, what doesthis mean ? There are fiftv-fiv- e dozenclothes pins in Benson's bill for thepast two months, and he says youordered every one of them."

"And so I did, said she demurely."WMi-a-- t! Fifty-fiv- e dozen clothes

i ai 1 1pins in two montnsi lie nowieu."H ill a just heaven stand this.'

"I tell you you needn't stare at mein that way, Reuben Wheeler John--

i ison, nor go to calling on to neavenwith your impiousness. 1 orderedthem clothes pins myself, and I'veburnt every one of them in that therestove, just because yon were too all-fire- d

lazy to get a stick of wood.And I declare, before I'll be botheredjawing and fighting to get you to cutwood, I'll burn up every clothes pinin the land, and you shall pay forthem, sir, if you have to sell theshirt on your back to do it. Sonow

And Mrs. Johnson, with a facelike scarlet, snatched up the broomand went to sweeping the carpet asif every flake of dust w&s a red hotcoal, while the unhappy Mr. Johnsonhastened to the store and paid thebill; and before dark that night hehad half a cord of wood sawed, splitand piled up ready for use. Dan-bur- y

News.

The Most Ingenious People.The evening Star, of Washington,D. C, has inspected the tables show-ing the number of patents issued bythe United States to residents of thedifferent States and Territories dur-ing i874. These show that Connect-icut, the land of steady habits andwooden nutmegs, leads all the otherStates and Territories, with referenceto population, in the number of patents obtained, she receiving one forevery 804 of her inhabitants. Nextcomes the District of Columbia, withone patent to every UU1 personsNext come in order Massachusetts,Rhode Island, New Jersey, NewYork, Colorado and California. . Theleast inventive State, according to"the table, is Alabama.

Such a Wonder. A Delaware11 m m mpaDy, oniy tnree weeks old, lias aheavy growth of whiskers. If thatbeard could be seen upon the cheekof a Chicago infant it would furnishsuch' a wonder as the world ha3seldom seen.

A Fond Du Lac man watched asurgeon amputate another's frozentoe and then fainted away, and gothalf the whisky the doctor broughtfor the sick man.

Speaking of becoming attire, whatthing is most likely to: become a wo-man? Why a little girl, of course.

A granddaughter of Mr. Parleyhas beaten all the boys at Cambridgein moral science. -

Somewhat Personal.- -

The notorious er-Go-v. Moses, .ofSouth Carolina,- - lias" filed a petition?in bankrupcy. The schedule of hisliabilities foot n 93,451 50; itfwhich are included State taxes in1his hands, while his assets consist1;only of some real estate in which hisinterest is doubtful, and 31,200 worth1of personal property, most of whichis mortgaged.'

It is; now1 stated that it is jL T

purchase of the Grand Opera: House, t

New York, " for a retail dry goodsstore', and riot Senator, Stewart, ofNevada. The terms of sale will bef31,000,000. for the whole of that par-cel of real' estate owned by the ErieRailway company, or 750,000 forthe Grand Opera House alone.

The completed arrangements forthe centennial celebration at Concord, Massachusetts, on April 19,include an address by Ralph WaldoEmersOn at the dedication of thestatute, a poem by James RusselLowel. a hymn by Henry W. Ltoweyfellow and an oration by George W.-Curtis. Judge E. Ri Hoar will bePresident of the day and GeneralFrancis C. Birlow will be ChiefMarshall;

The private school kept' by Mr. F.W. Gunn at Washington!- - Connecticut, and referred' to' so, often in thetestimony of Mr. and Mrs. Ovingtonfin the Beech er trial as "the gunnery,is identical with that alluded to inMi. J. G. Holland's novel of "Arthur Bonnicastle," under the title of"The Bird's Nest."

We are surprised to read a4 saf ent

to the effect that Gen. Burnsidewas once a tailor. The story proba-bly had its origin in a misunder-standing of a remark medd fo-'-a sub-altern officer just after the battle ofFredericksburg: "I'd give forty dol-lars if I had never been anything buta tailor's goose."

When a Beecher woman places her"hat upon a stool in a millinery store,and another woman incontinentlysits down upon it, the former frantic-ally gathers up the wreck,-an- ex-claims: "That is a Tilton woman Iknow she is the nasty, maliciousthing."- -

Neither side will call Bowen, be-cause each side wants to cross-exami- ne

him. Each believes that thisman's true value lies-iA- ' what can begot out of him against the oher side

in short that he is worth more forhis "cussedness" than for his goodwill.

The friends of the Admiral Wins-lo- w

are about to place over frfs graveat Mount Auburn a granite boulder-weighin-

several tons, taken fromthe summit of Kearsarge mountains,in New Hampshire, surmounted by agranite shaft, emblematic of the shipand mountain he rendered famous.

Western newspaper wags" are mak-ing thrusts at General Tracy's argu-ments. None of them, however, be-lieve in the immortality 61 the soul,and all of them would rather sitaround a hot stove and chew tobaccothan join our Brooklyn Brotherhoodof Saints, and go aloft to'" glory.Brooklyn Argus.

A Sl,y Young- - Lady. A Chicagopaper says: A popular yonng ladyof West Adams street, who has aboutforty young gentlemen on the roll ofher personal friends, has entered intoa speculation which promises to paybetter than a grain "6orner" or agambling hell, with all the city offi-cials as silent partners. She boughtthe canvass for forty-Efc- f pairs ofslippers, all of a pattern,- - leased outthe making of forty pairS of them toan aged colored seamstress, and keepsthe forty -- ni st jair in the parlor whereshe can have them on hand whenany one of her lovers call. Of coursethe young man asks for whom Bhe isworking those pretty slippers; shesmiles with that bewitching droop-ing of the eyelids, which is one partmodesty and two parts wink, "Ob,they're for a yourg gentleman friendof mine." Then the young infatuatedyouth goes off. and bays her a seal-skin jacket, or a pair of ear-ring- s, oran easy chair for her Christmas pres-ent. She will bestow upon each oneof her adorers a pair of the slippers,worked by a colored seamstress andfooted by a Dutch shoemaker withone eye, each one costing two dollarsand sixty-fiv- e cents, while she esti-mates that her presents net forty-fiv- e

dollars to the adorer. The pair she. . . ... ,is maiLiug will it) preseuieu lu uyoung dry goods clerk in Aurora, towhom she was secretly married lastSeptember.

If all the two dozen lawyers in theBeecher-Tilto- n case expect to make aslong speeches as tracy, and all ofBeecher's witnesses are as long wind-ed as Tilton's were, and the Judgethen reviews the case and lays downthe law in the same style, the casemay be concluded sometime beforethe year 1900, but, unless the twelvejurors are endowed with superhumanpowers of memory and ostrich likemental degestions, they will knowless about the case at the conclusionthan they did at the beginning.What a magnificent Chinese dramathis trial would make.

A Reyebexd ThtfJ. The Rev.Dr. Newman, Grant's Inspector ofConsulates, has just returned home,after a tour around the world, witha salary of 10,000 a year, accompan-ied by his wife, who, as his secretary,received $3,000 a year. As brotherNewman's official services lack atleast 13,000 of being worth a tinker's,dish to the government or to any-body else, he ought to feel that hehas been engaged m stealing tnaiamount per annum; but the proba-bility is that be won't. CxmrUrJournal.