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P 08 9828 2325
F 08 9828 2326
W ongerup.crc.net.au
ONGERUP GRAPEVINE
December 10th 2015
COMMUNITY NOTICES
USED STAMPS. I would like to thank all of you who have been supplying me with used postage stamps over this last 12 months. It has been much appreciated and I have sent them off in batches to the relative organisation in Perth. Please keep this in mind and save your Christmas stamps over this period and I will collect them in the New Year’. Happiness and good health for Christmas and the New Year 2016. Thank you Margaret Jones BOWLING CLUB RAFFLE: Tickets are available from Ongerup Farm Supplies, School and Bowling Club. 1
st, 2
nd & 3
rd prizes are Christmas Hampers. Tickets are 1 for $2.00 or 3 for
$5.00. Raffle will be drawn at the Club’s Christmas Party on Sunday 20 December. We look forward to your support. (Jenny Ireland ) LIBRARY UPDATE Your Library will be closed from the 7th December 2015 to the 6th January 2016. Gail Vaux Library Officer. ONGERUP GYM Because of the school concert night next week, we will be packing up the gym equipment at the end of this week. The gym won’t be available until someone puts the equipment out again, after 17
th Dec, and hopefully before Christmas. Just a reminder that the cost for casu-
al gym users is still $2 per person each time, or you can pay $10 per month, or $30 per term, and use the gym as often as you want. Please see me if you want to pay monthly or quarterly. Jan Savage 0427 986476
ONGERUP GENERAL STORE XMAS DRINKS. ALL WELOME
MONDAY 21ST DEC AT 5.30PM, SAUSAGE SIZZLE, BEER AND WINE PROVIDED
ROBERT HOOPER
On behalf of the Ongerup Community, we send our heartfelt sympathy to
Di, Kylee, Kendra, Jorja, Liam and family on their tragic loss.
Rob will be remembered as a passionate farmer and much valued
community member. He will be sadly missed
Last Fridays tragic events have shocked and saddened our small community. It
is important during these sad times to ask for help if you feel you are not coping,
and to look out for your mates if you feel they need support. There are various
ways of seeking help, St Johns have a wellbeing and support line for people
affected by trauma. Call 9373 3827 and speak to someone who can help you get the support you need. If you
know someone who is not coping you can ring the number and give their details and someone will call them.
A service to commemorate the life of Rob Hooper will be held at the Christchurch chapel
Monday December 14 at 11.00 am. A wake will follow at the Mosman Park Bowling club
Christmas cooking day
What an amazing day, our kids produced a delicious array of Christmas cookies and fruit mince pies. Whilst the adults whipped up their Christmas cakes and puddings in the kitchen. Thanks to everyone who came to cook and to help with the day.
Christmas Bowls & Dinner Sunday 20th December 2015
The Ongerup Bowling Club will be
hosting the
Annual Christmas Bowls & Dinner
On Sunday 20 December 2015.
Please join us for a free, fun afternoon of bowls. It doesn't matter if
you haven’t played before—give it try!
Bring your friend, partner and your children.
Everyone is welcome
tea will be at 5:30pm
The Bowls Competition is drawn pairs.
Names in before 1pm to
Lester 0407 305 827 or David 0427 721 483
Proudly sponsored by Lester Deering
A THESIS DISCUSSING THE EXISTENCE OF SANTA CLAUS:
1. No known species of reindeer can fly but there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. While most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.
2. There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. But since Santa doesn’t appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children. That reduces the workload to 15% of the total – 378 million.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the Earth. Assum-ing he travels east to west (which seems logical), this works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been provided, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
4. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are distributed evenly around the Earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are talking about a kilometre per household, a total trip of 112 million km, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc.
5. This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving about 1040km per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For the purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses Space Probe, moves at a poky 42km per second – a con-ventional reindeer can run, tops, 24kmh.
6. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (1kg), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tonnes, not counting Santa, who is described invariably as over-weight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 140kg. Even granting that flying reindeer could pull 10 times the normal, we cannot do the job with eight or nine.
7. We therefore need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload – not even counting the weight of the sleigh – to 353,430 tonnes. Again for comparison, this is four times the weight of the cruise liner, QEII.
8. 353,000 tonnes travelling at 1040km per second create enormous air resistance – This will heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each.
9. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, mean-while, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500 times greater than gravity. A 10kg Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) will be pinned to the back of his sleigh by more than 2 million kg of force.
10. I must end matters there, sparing readers the gruesome conclusion.
11. WHO’D BE SANTA CLAUS???
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve? Auld Fang Syne What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days! What kind of motorbike does Santa ride A Holly Davidson! What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck A Christmas Quacker! What is the best Christmas present in the world A broken drum, you just can't beat it! What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky! Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
Ongerup Christmas Tree
19th of December
@ The Ongerup Sporting Pavilion
SANTA ARRIVES AT 6.30pm. Please arrive before that.
There will be a sausage sizzle to follow for the children.
$5 per family payable on the night.
There will be a short Carols by Candlelight afterwards.
We hope your children can stay for that.
AUDIT COMMITTEE MEETING
(Local Government Act 1995 – Section 5.23)
The Shire of Gnowangerup hereby gives public notice
of an Audit Committee Meeting on Wednesday 16th December 2015,
in Council Chambers, commencing at 3.15pm.
CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER SHELLEY PIKE
DECEMBER 2015 Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
10 Indigo bday
11 Social bowls 12 13 Tennis 2.30
14 15 Marnie bday Benedict bday School Concert
16 17 Don bday Last Grapevine For 2015
18 Social bowls 19 Beau/Rohan bday George Bday
20 Tennis 2.30
21 Merv bday
22 23 24 Mark bday
25 26 Sandy bday
27
28 29 30 31 Social bowls
Social bowls
SEEDING IS ABOUT TO
START
PLACE YOUR ORDERS NOW
FOR PLANTING IN 2016 QUALITY PRODUCT AND CUSTOMER SERVICE
BLYTH TREE FARM
KATANNING
SALTBUSH, TREES, SHRUBS
We can help with local species selection that will
comply with
any funded programs.
Email [email protected]
Ph 08 98217883
SUNFLOWER ARRANGEMENTS
Flower arranging and gift baskets
for Xmas - made to order
Call Anna 0428 282568
1 week’s notice needed
for fresh flower
arrangements
