One more day Delilah

Written by Demi Jacobs

Chapter Rectangle This is a book. Not just any book. It’s my book. I guess that doesn’t mean much but thats besides the point. Not that this book has a point, so we’ll swiftly move along. Im going to start at the beginning, not the very beginning. I don’t remember that, but we’ll start somewhere. This is book is kinda like the lyrics from a stuffed up song . Bullet for My Valentine is an excellent example, Pretty on the Outside?

“So you wanna play games with my head,well you made me fall apart and wish that i was dead-but i just cant believe i fell for such a blackened heart, you played me for fool and just used me from the start...F!%k IT ALLLLLLLLLL”Know what i mean?Probably not, but will.

Obviously i started out as a kid, im pretty sure up until 2005 thats how most of us started. For some reason babies seem to be born in heels these days. Or its kids in heels having kids. The other day my friend Steph called a birthday a Bam Bam Bash, i hoped this wasn’t a cover of “Birthday Sex”.

I guess writing a book when your all grown up takes away the innocence of it all. Life is a PHAT mess, its fun, its dangerous, its evil with a soul, its rainbows in black and white, its crayons that break, its a laugh when you look back on it really. All you gotta hope is that you don’t stumble to hard, everyone is wait-ing to watch you fall.

Chapter Smiley Face

Im a girl, just joking...i’m a lady. A lady who grew up with just boys. Now their men. Boys to Men. Seems this is a popular way to do things. I also learnt how to ride a bike,like a tricycle not like a motorbike. I guess this is where my life started, riding a bike down a dam(n) al-ley with my cousin, next thing i knew i was sitting in a bath of blood, my own blood. Im not crazy or anything. I fell off the bike, into a pool of broken glass.

Now there’s a way to see your ass. Now don’t get me wrong im pretty sure i was upset when it happened, but what the hell was i thinking ? my parents had to go for interviews with Child Welfare as the injury was SMACK BAM between these twiggly legs of mine, obviously

back then people took things more seriously. Recently i heard we have a thing called corrective rape ? does this mean there’s a right way and a wrong way to as-

sault woman? Anyways, this cousin i speak of, his names Ashley. His a mormen. I think it should be mourn-men instead. My memories are all of bad or scary things, i remember happy and fun things too. Just not as vividly.

So my next escapade i’m going to tell you about is how my new pool almost landed up being a grave. As Wes pushed me around the new empty pool-that stayed empty-in a wheelbarrow (???????), Ryan felt like this was the optimal time to practise golf. After years of being exposed to golf , I’ve learnt the club

needs to stay in the players hands. In this particular case, it stayed in my head.

Clearly Ryan hadn’t learnt this lesson yet either. My second trip to the doctor, i think him and i were beginning to be-come more friends than acquaintances.

One more day Delilah

Wesley and Ryan are my brothers. Big brothers. Doesn’t matter how old i get im still little. I like being little. People often underestimate the little. Gives us the chance to prove people wrong.

Like this robbery we had, i was in grade 4. We had just moved. It was me, Ryan and Cinderino-my mom, she’s like Cinderella only more irritated more of the time. It was the October of that year. These men came into the house. Four of them. They knew everything was still gonna be in boxes. Well they thought they knew. This is the problem with people. They always think they know. Anyways, CRASH BOOM BANG they pulled my mom out of bed, pulled me and ryan out of bed(the same bed,dad was away at work) and took us to the bathroom.

They broke our charges and tied us with the chords. They just flippen lucky i didn’t have my BB back then. The four of them stole everything.

Everything often sounds like an exaggeration. In this case, i mean EVERYTHING from the butter in the fridge,the underwear in my cupboard and the side tables in the lounge. It took them three and a half hours. I mean cheeses!!(they took this too, the cheese i mean.) Obviously they were wasting no one’s time. In conjunction with my “gives us the chance to prove people wrong” statement im pleased to announce i was brave enough to tell these men to “LEAVE MY MOM ALONE!!!” and fancy the balls on me, they lis-tened.

I was clearly very brave back then or their guns just didn’t work. But truth be told me and my family won that battle. It was the first of many. Which i guess could only bring me to introducing them...

Chapter I’m Not Sure

The following battles though, were between the family. Cinds and Normandy-this is my dad who i don’t think could live without my mom- won most of them. Wesley moved out when he was 18. Luckeeeeeeeeeeeeeey. Life was pretty hard for him, my mom used to have a severe case of BeltMeetsBumArmLegOrAnywhereShe-CouldReach syndrome.

This case has subsided thanks to the help of medication. And Ryan. Wesley was head boy of primary school,won

the Ducks award and played all the sports, he wasn’t very good at them. Ryan in contrast happily took drugs, got ex-

pelled from schools and just scraped through Matric. My dad, like my mom suffered from a similar syndrome.

His mediums of punishment just varied. Ryan made Wesley look like platinum.

There are two memories i have of both of them on sepa-rate occasions. We’ll discuss Wesleys first. I cant remem-ber what i did to piss him off. I do remember i was hid-ing under a red pillow. Apparently hiding isn’t a very good thing. Then i was chocking. Wesley had one hand around the collar of my t-shirt and the other firmly clenched on the top of my shorts. I think this is where my dreams of flying started.

He attempted to throw me through his bedroom window. Mid throw he must have decided better of this. Or he wasn’t strong enough. Im happy to

announce the window was still intact after i opened my eyes. I was simply sprawled eagle like on the floor.

Ryan and i were different. I mean in comparison to me and Wes. Ry and i, just were. We were just me and Ryan. There was this one time my brother had to fetch me from school. I took bus from highschool and he fetched me from a Sasol garage he had been previously banned from in a Corsa bakkie. He wasn’t in a particularly good mood on this particular day and nothing was going to go anymore his way. But Ryan always had a strange way of putting himself in a better mood. It happened to be a groggy woggy weather nightmare,where if you stood in it too long...your Parktown blazer was bound to get soggy. Ryan told me he needed some space and told me to sit in the back because he didn’t wanna lose his temper. This fool (me) was willing to do everything to keep my big brother happy. So there i went in this frustratingly pointless drizzle , with my school bag and school file and plonked myself in the back.

It started hailing.Ryan thought this was utterly hilarious. I asked him to stop so i could get in the front but he said the risk of stopping meant more hail dam-age. I think he loved his Corsa bakkie more

than me. I spent 9 days collecting 9 months worth of work.

Chapter Star or Struck

These things haven’t happened recently. Ryans in heaven now and Wes is all grown up and living his own life. I guess i should tell you what happened to ryan. He died in a car accident a few years ago. In a drunken rage he smashed his car into a wall. He flew out the sun-roof. He had his seatbelt on,this is what killed him. Go figure. He couldn’t get himself out between the wall and the car. He is was and will always be my number one.

He is my best friend. Even now that his in heaven. Ive realised the signal in heaven is great. Nothing like here on Earth. You know my BBM on my BB didn’t work for 3 days this one time. I guess i should tell you what i was like before all these things happened... i wasn’t a par-ticularly happy kid. For no particular reason. I just didn’t like people, that hasn’t changed too much.

“i just want to know the truth, but the words from your mouth, they just cloud all the negativity forces me down, but still i can dream”But back when i was younger people i didn’t like always made me really angry. I guess some people didn’t like me either. I got into tons and tons of fights...utterly rid-onkulous. I remember there was this one occasion where a girl called me “South”. I threw a metal dustbin at her. I guess i didn’t

prove her wrong. This happens sometimes. Sometimes my actions are justified though. Well in my own mind. Like i’ve recently had a fight with old “friends”. Not a cat fight, im not sly enough...silly creatures

that spend their days sleeping with these innocent eye’s. It’s what they do at night.

In this book my friends are represented as sheep.Ironically we count sheep to fall asleep, but at night is when a cat is upto

mischief. Always the innocent that land up scathed. See how creatures play off each other.

Not only are they sheep because they all follow each other, but because they don’t seem to do much logical thinking. Since ive gotten to Vega they’ve taught

me to be a critical thinker. Please not this has caused some problems for me.

I over think. All the time.

My one friend. She’s a monster now. She’s not my friend because i shouted at her. She left me for two hours at a party, like a big one...she left me there till in the sky there was no sun. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be a little upset? She’s as sensitive as me, just about 100x more dramatic. She was also very drunk, like convulsing and things. After i shouted at her she got more drunk. I then spent a drive home getting in and out of the rain helping her while she threw up in my shoes. I hope you know that shoe’s, shoes come in two’s. Cant wear one without the other. The next day all she remembered was me shouting at her. So i didn’t get a thank you or anything. Even after i phoned to see if she was okay. Monster.

Now this i could of gotten over, but then she became friends with B-Rex. “now i wanna know, if i take a take an open mind, take a look inside..are you pretty ?”Like a T-Rex. B-rex used me... all the time. I became putty in her hands and i never got any-thing back. She’s really rich. Im not particularly rich. This was a problem. She stopped be-ing my friend a while ago because i couldn’t afford to go to Sun City(R1950)but i could go to H2o (R450). Weird i know. What bothers me about this whole situation is that my friend mentioned earlier,we’ll call her Nick.

Like Nicholas Cage in face-off. She also has 2 faces. Nick

didn’t like B-tex very much until Nick and i fought. The next thing i knew thats who she’d replace me with. They now feed off each other and have bonding ses-sions and movie nights thats are ridden with stories made up about me.

saying once. “if you didn’t see it with your own eye’s or hear it with your own ears, don’t make it up with you small mind and share it with your big mouth.” Anon. Good huh? This is how i feel about them now. Monsters.“ can i get inside your mind, see what i can find ? are you pretty , PRETTY?”“Now just take off that disguise, everyone knows that your ONLY.... PRETTY ON THE OUT-SIDE !!!”

Chapter Heart....Sometimes Less

I have a boyfriend.

This seems like a silly statement to make half way through me complaining about friends. But he plays a good role in this story. See his friends don’t like me either. For no other reason then i told them there two faced and conniving and stuck up and competitive and spiteful. People always say the truth hurts. I think this might of hurt.

I had good reason to say these things to them, but i wont tell you my side of the story because its automatically biased. It had something to do with people walk-ing around in panties and some girl we’ll call Snoopy and another girl i wont give a name too and another girl who couldn’t dance. What i will tell you though is that its been almost 3 months since this happened. They are 24. I am 20. As of yet, they are not completely ready to hear my side of the story. Mature i know.“i just wanna know the truth,all your negativity, does it eat you up inside or is that as far as i can dream?”

I don’t owe them an apology, if anything they owe me one. But yet again im biased. Im also a hypocrite. I landed up apologising and they haven’t accepted it. (ill let you know if this changes during the course of this book.) let me tell you though,this has all caused a hell of a problem for my boyfriend. I seem to cause problems often. This is only because my boyfriend and i broke up about 4 months ago.

I have a thing for Bullet for my Valentine. “your tears don’t fall they crash around me”One of the reasons was because i wasn’t myself anymore and he wasn’t his self anymore. I like myself. Im judgemental and over-nice and i find it very hard to trust people and i don’t like getting hurt and i don’t like other people hurting people i do like and im creative and boisterous and open mind-ed and opinionated and almost very real. Real is sometimes a problem.

My boyfriend and i are back together now. His a sexy version of Joe Jonas and i promise this wasn’t my observation. Excluding the break up its almost been 3 years. His be-come incredibly supportive of the new me only because the old me and him could rip paint off walls during a fight. He understands me. He just lets me ... be.

This is a problem and a blessing. Its like grasping the concept of a Sudoku at 6years old or learning how to fix a messed up rubix cube or figuring out why E=MC2. Its all about him knowing you.Things are never perfect. Perfect is almost very nearly impossible. But we pretty close to it. Its taken a lot. Too many things were wrong in the beginning. Things that are hurtful and demeaning and exhausting. This is in the past. But if you ever re-member anything in this book, remember this – forget what happened in the past, but never forget what it taught you.

Chapter These People Should Get Ribbons

I have new friends now. In this book they almost resemble care bears. Drawings of care bears were never part of my strengths. Please just note Carlo falls part of this category. But its unfair if i keep talking about him. But i do like him. His also nice. Back to friends.

Their names are Megnificent, Raine-Bow, ZachAttack, Ty-rano-saurus and a few others. I like them. Meg is a sports fanatic. This

has something to do with her family. I think they were all con-ceived on treadmills or in a sauna.

She reminds me of Matilda. Matilda is my favourite movie. Im not sure why she reminds me of Matilda. I think its because she’s in-

creasingly honest. Infact she called me an asshole the other day. I agreed. See i think she’s made of magic or some-thing. I seldomly agree.Raine-bow is everything i think Rainbows are made of. Colour and light.

Raine reminds me of the girl from Mr Magoriums Won-der Emporium. She’s blissful and just plain nice. Well not nice, she’s beautiful. Like on the inside and things. Its weird. She’s Zach’s ying. This obviously makes him yang. I don’t understand the good vs bad concept of Ying Yang so we’re using this as an example of they just fit together. Zach is like my brother Wes. Wes is the robot in this book. He works constantly.

I think this is just his mind set. Zach and i bond quite well, we always just have things to talk about. Music or Gheys or Mainers or Jocks , whatever these north folk call cool people. He buys Raine bonsai tree’s and things. I told Raine his a keeper.

Megan and i asked if we could share Zach with Raine once. Im happy to announce this has somehow hap-pened. Zach works and writes notes. Megan and i use them for our own benefit. We run a good system.

Ty is a good dinosaur, not like my other monster dinosaurs. His a model and a trainer and a hard worker and a guest star at events and is in a relationship with Ryan. See i like Ryan because he has the same name as my other brother and his also from the south. Ive never met Ty’s ryan tho. While im writing this book Ty is in Maurituis do-ing modelling. He’ll be back before i finish though.

I have many other stories to tell... every big story and every little story

i have embedded in my brain could be written down on this piece of paper. Im not going to tell you though. If i told you you’d have things to manipulate me and hurt me with. But im going to keep writing for the sake of a good laugh.

Oh ! i forgot to tell you about Adan.Adan is cool too. I like him.

His also weird and things. I seem to have a lot of weird friends. This could at some stage also become a problem. A good problem. Because some problems are good and funny. Like when we were all supposed to be shooting a movie for school and our friend Gabi

whose in Cape Town now forgot to follow Ty for the rest of the video and she got left behind. We laughed for about 10 minutes before we could shoot again. The video turned out good.

Another problem thats a good problem is Megs drinking problem. She was flirting with Nicholas’ dad at some party. I wasn’t there but apparently Todd her boyfriend was good competition in winning

over Nicholas’ moms attention. Its also like the problem we have at raines house often over lunch. There’s always so much food. They jew-ish. Apparently Jewish people have more holidays then the president. I recently found out what a Guoppa was. The food is always good though. We never ever leave there hungry. Never.

Which is reminds me of another problem that actually had nothing to do with food or drinking. It was when Adan was NOT making fun of a lecturer . it kind of went like this. “the more you read , the better reader you become”

“the more you write, the better writer you become”“the more you practise, the better practis-er you become”Adan responded with :“the more you speak English, the better English-er you become” Hahahahahahahahahahahaha . Buts things are always good. Its that make fun of, over ambitious, always a laugh kind of good. And thats never bad.

Chapter its Never The End

I guess we’ve almost reached the end of this book. Im not sure though because funny things or good things or bad things or scary things can happen before its due. This is what happens when you grow up. Every-thing has a due date. Like my mom told me to pack my room this morn-ing and i told her the stuff wasn’t going anywhere.

She then said if its not done by time she get home i wont be going any-where this weekend either. I didn’t find this very funny. My dad thought it was hilarious.