On Campaigning in Pairs

Or: Who Are Hogan & Noble, and Why Should You Vote For Them?

Where This Is Going

• Who We Aren’t– Definition by exclusion

• Who We Are– Layin’ it on the line

• Platform Issues– Our Ideas for the SPS of the future!

We are not…

• Batman and Robin

– Tom is not as good-looking as George Clooney

– Ian’s acting is not as terrible as Chris O’Donnell’s

We are not…

• Mulder and Scully– The Truth is Out

There…– …but it’s got nothing

to do with aliens and everything to do with Pizza.

We are not…

• Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr– We’re great at working

together, which helps avoid…

– Awkward situations:

We are not…

• Matt Damon and Ben Affleck– Even though we do

work together a lot– And hang out

sometimes– Wait a minute…

We ARE:

• C-3PO and R2-D2– We know, they’re never

major players in any of the politics of Star Wars

– But you can’t deny the fact that they’re in every single movie.

How Do You Figure?

• Like R2-D2 and C-3PO, we’re reliable.– Always there when you need us to serve

in some auxiliary capacity.

• Hogan & Noble also persevere in the face of adversity– No ‘bad motivators’ here!

• And finally, like any good set of droids, we are fluent in over 6 million forms of communications– …so maybe that’s a lie…

Platform Issues(for real now…)

• Keeping Useful Records– Our ideas include cataloging no. of pizzas consumed, as well as

type, broken up by individual with an entire statistical analysis after each and every meeting

• Faster, more offensive, T-shirts– Why spend weeks waiting to upset the Chem Majors? We want

to accelerate the t-shirt process and start offending them well within the first semester

• Guerilla Warfare on AXE– It is a battle that needs fighting.–

Drafting and implementing tactical espionage actions against our rivals within the department while maintaining secrecy will be tantamount.

– Securing Physics from further offenses by Chemistry people.

• VOTE AWESOME.

• VOTE STAR WARS.

• VOTE HOGAN & NOBLE

FOR SPS SECRETARY(S).