Oil Grunt

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    Oilgrunt

    By: Seth Moris

    Prelude

    0

    Birth

    If you don't know who you are, you don't know who you aren't. I guess that's

    the problem. Waking up, covered in the dripping remains of what was once

    your entire world, pulled by some mysterious force (not that you had the wordsfor this at the time) outside of your safety zone, only to slap you on your ass

    and introduce pain directly into your emergence.

    Now you are part of our world little God. Deus ex Materia. Time to learn.

    Its all you are good at, isn't it? Little one, you may not be very good at

    understanding, but wisdom will come. Its time to grow into your new world. Its

    time to flex those limbs you were given with your birth into strong musculature

    or you they will atrophy. It is time to explore, child, it is time to turn the dial on

    your Closed-to-Wide Eyed ratio all the way to the max, time to learn how to

    open ALL of your eyes.

    Is it time?

    It is time to stop swimming about in your own mental isolation tanks, the

    place you were first put by Fate then manipulated into by Those Who Fear.

    Commence Little Children, you have whispered yourself into submission

    for too long. Who else could control a God but itself? You have been convinced.

    Stop it. Now. Because you Want To Stop It. Stop it because You Know

    You Have To, and Quickly.

    Dream. You are lucid, destroy the nightmare.

    Time. When the horn sounds, you must follow or be left behind.

    Space. Be where You know you Should be.

    Stop looking in places you can't see, for things you don't think you will

    find.

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    Start being in places you have Chosen to be, and find everything.

    You get one chance.

    Then Infinity.

    Can you hear the horns in the distance?

    I do.

    1

    Vincent

    "Sometimes people ask me, why help other people? I ask them, who

    said anything about there being other people?" My tall, brown and black friend

    narrates, dictates, filling the silence of another scav, voice rebounding softly

    off of the heaps of rusty tin cans , the kind that went Out Of Use circa Who The

    Fuck Knows, switched to plastic long ago),

    "Does a cell ponder whether or not it "should" help other cells? At one point

    you have two hallways to walk down." Roberto explained to me as he threw

    aside a bag of what appeared to be stinking household items complete with an

    ironic babies diaper. Of course.

    I wave away a cloud of flies with the hand not holding the dying

    glowstick, and reassert my footing in the junk heap. Robert continued to dig

    through, his hands guarded from jagged debris by thick leather gloves we had

    found on the side of a highway. Roberto also continued to smoke his ciggarrete

    out of one corner of his mouth, its tip bobbing with his effort and shaking the

    loose ash that was quickly accumulating. Look ma, no hands. The dark skinned,

    yellow tooth smiled man also kept speaking, essentially monologing as we

    begrudgingly scavanged.

    " One is marked Evolution, the other is marked Extinction. Or Fertility

    and Cancer as I think of it. Anything that exists wants to exist on an essential

    level, left to its own. But some things are very good at ensuring that existence

    stops. Even if the thing itself would inherently also be lost in the wave of non-

    existence. Cancer. Such is Egodystonia. We've effectively made the pantheist

    God insane. If I am God, and you are God, and everything is God, and people

    are in everything, and people are on the majority unhappy and delusional,

    what hope do we have for God? What is the point of religion?" Spotting a sign

    of buried treasure, Robert bends over, his ciggarrete again ashing itself into

    the warm evening air. The sun had been setting for a good few minutes now,

    and the sky was starting to darken, as per cosmic contract. After a moment of

    wriggling something around with one gloved hand, Roberto reached down and

    siezed a darkened Something with both hands, and started swaying back and

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    forth. Nothing seemed to budge. Finally Roberto rocked heavily back and forth,

    straining his toned arms as he gritted his teeth. He waved me over and without

    direction I looked down and saw what appeared to be a handle made of some

    kind of metal. I grabbed it and we heaved together, trying to budge it free.

    Through gritted teeth and heavy breath Roberto continued, as was his nature.

    "Well I'm not saying this is true, but maybe it is. Maybe God wants to get

    better. Maybe with the rise of consciousness through matter we introduced

    something into the sum. The ability to be unhappy, and insane, among other

    mental states, and if we are all God, then God has the sum total of Humanity

    within God. Which means unhappiness is distressing to God, and happiness is

    eustressing. So God loves you because God wants you to shut the fuck up and

    Be Happy (Because you are God)." Just then we simultaneously jerked our

    heads downward, my hair comically falling into my face, at the sound of

    scrapping and the feel of movement. The Something was starting to rise.

    Roberto nodded his head at me.

    "On three, give her everything you've got my friend. One...two...three!"

    And with the final number we both lifted as hard as we could. I had learned in

    Highschool that you are supposed to lift with your legs, it's more ergonomic.

    From my former work (God at it really been that long) I learned many laborers

    fall victim to permenant injury due to things such as lifting with your back.

    Knowing this, and not quite knowing how one lifes something you hold in your

    hands with your legs (not having given it much thought) I subsequentally lifed

    with my back. Like a boss. I wish I could say 'For a second, nothing moved,

    then it came loose" but its more like 'It immedietally came loose and i fell on

    my ass." Such is the way of a gentleman. Roberto, also being quite the

    established gentleman himself let me sit there on my ass without asking if I

    wanted help up, or lending a hand, and continued to ramble as he kneeled

    beside the Something that appeared about the size of a large microwave,

    made completely of some sort of metal, topped with a handle. The glowstick I

    held was covered by, oh one must love the literary cliche, the babies diaper. I

    snatched my hand out from underneath, hoping in my undermind to somehow

    slide my hand from beneath any offending material. I took the dingy green

    bandana from around my neck and wiped my hand. I noticed, after the

    commotion, a light buzzing. With a second to focus, I realize it is simply the

    buzzing of Roberto's head to mouth filter not working properly.

    "But if God is also made up of everything including humans," He continues,

    examining the object as if it were a priceless treasure. " This scares me.

    Because when a human's ability to cope is overwhelmed by its distress, they

    tend to seek the lesser of two stressors. Usually death. Suicide. What if we are

    making God want to kill itself? What if that is one way to the same end result

    for God as mass enlightenment (To Be Like The Plants), but would be rather

    unpleasent for humanity. And God, being empathic (as humans are hardwired

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    to be) would probably rather us reach equilibrium through conscious attempt

    than forced death. But even the best of human-like beings (which pantheist

    God must be, or rather Humans more God-like) have a breaking point. I don't

    think I want God to reach its breaking point with humanity. Its not all "God is

    punishing us for sinning" as much as "God is tortured by our existence because

    we persist in delusion and misery." Who could blame it for offing itself?"

    "For God's sake Roberto, pantheist or otherwise, could you shut the fuck

    up for a second." I finally snap out in a hushed whisper and the chatter ceases.

    Normally I don't mind, but...something. What is this something? I stay

    completely still and wait. Nothing in my body makes noise to even my own

    ears. The only thing I can even sense is the sound of my own pulse, and the

    feeling of the inside of my gloves.

    "I heard something. Maybe. Wait a second." I whisper, holding up a

    gloved hand in a fist, then a finger to my mouth. I plunged the glowstick into

    unknown trash beneath me, dampening its already dim illumination. Robertoand I scanned around us, looking for any signs of movement, listening for any

    sounds. Roberto gave me one head nod, upwards to get my attention. After my

    gaze was on him, he lifted his hands to his face, in fists, then put up all five on

    one hand, and one finger on the other. Then he jabbed the one finger skyward.

    Six-Up. The Authorities. Didn't matter if it meant security or police. Hell,

    the two words were even interchangable now. Police were our Security now.

    Everyone's personal nannies.

    I made two thumbs up and framed my face with them, one on each side,

    thumbs pointed outwards. I don't know, it meant. I twirled my right pointerfinger around, top digit pointed skywards, the spiral I was etching into the air

    grow bigger as it went vertically. Be aware. At my warning Roberto gave me a

    look that spoke so fluenty across any boundries that I imagine anyone could

    understand it. Oh please, me?

    Thats when I saw all sense and reason drain from Roberto's scraggly

    face, which makes sense, Roberto always had better hearing than me, and for

    a few heartrending, terror filled moments I concentrated on listening. Roberto

    didn't even move to sign. Then I understood, my suspicions utterly fulfilled.

    Then...the humming. It was so soft that under normal circumstances youwouldn't hear it, under the noise of transit, the buzz of WeWeb advertisments

    crackling in the inner jawbones of the masses, washed or not. But we were in a

    scrapchunk and transit was distant and more like a whisper of the beasts that

    lay far away. Then, out of the corner of my eyes I saw what could have been

    two or three small blurs. No way more than three, but definitely more than one.

    Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

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    Buzz. They swerved this way and that, and I saw that there were two of

    them. Small, about the size of my thumb, smaller even, and green. The long

    needle like appendage at the front of what appeared to be a face dipping this

    way and that as they turned, hovered, buzzed, scanned and turned and did it

    all again in a different spot.

    Hummingbirds. Oh fuck. Oh God. Oh fuck. Oh God. Oh fuck. Oh God.

    Sometimes I like to think God hears my prayers.

    Buzz.

    And when I felt like surely, THIS was going to be the time, THIS was

    going to be the final straw for my poor ole' pumper, and my heart was going to

    motherfucking christ on a cookie burst in my goddam chest, my blood spilling

    out of my nose and ass and dick as I silently drop, leaving Roberto to pure

    insanity at the whole situation.

    No, like always the human body impresses me. It doesn't want to die. My

    heart kept beating. Then...snap. Something made a quite audible snapping

    noise about a stone's throw from where Roberto, I and the sources of the

    buzzing currently resided.

    Immedietly the two small shapes darted out, faster than my eyes could

    percieve fully, joined by what appeared to be a third (they always do travel in

    threes, don't they, well...more like fours..) zooming around a rusted heap of

    scrap iron, what appeared to be old railroad ties, and headed straight towards

    a hunched figure that darted as quickly as it appeared it could away from our

    general direction, and the ever moving position of the humming things.

    We were alone and back to digging through the trash within moments.

    The three HummingByrd (TM) drones quickly triangulated the moving target,

    and the stealth copter roughly about the size of a microwave easily coptered

    its copter self, all rotors and large caliber barrel pointed ever downwards,

    matte black like the face of 6-Up themselves, nonchalantly put a bullet, one

    bullet, through the soft top of the head of the runner. Or so we discovered

    later, we couldn't see clearly at the time. The only thing that you could see

    clearly was the smog illuminated by the giant lights on their giant posts that

    made an almost complete grid in any government developed property, what

    they called in official terms "civilized property", you couldn't see the blood

    pouring out of someone's gunshot wound, but you could see the smoke stacks

    of far, far distant megafabricating plants. Such is life.

    As for the corpse, the damage was entirely to the head, the bullet had

    left the bottom of the person's jaw. Roberto informed me this was likely

    because of the price of meat.

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    "Not to mention the organs fetch a pretty penny." He explained, as we

    hurridely stripped the body, and Roberto took a nicked and pitted hunting

    knife, complete with guthook, out of his boot, and plunged it into the corpses

    still warm belly. "Not everyone can afford a fancy tissue cell wrapped synthetic

    heart, now can we?".

    Rip.

    2

    Karoline

    If time goes uncounted, do you wake up old and in a nursing home one

    day, the rest of your life like a haze? What if in that great dance you trip and

    fall, the lights go out, and the music ceases to play? So slow down. Count the

    minutes. Between the ticking, you might feel something...in the

    distance...slowly at first, then unmistakable. Will you count between the

    shaking? Will you measure as you swim?

    The first time I died, I remember a vague sensation. Underneath all of

    the immediate suprise and the fear, was a calm. Jesus was here to take me

    home, wrapped up like a ball of light sending waves of joy through my body. I

    started to feel....hazy. Almost...weak.

    Fear overtook me as the light began to fade. I saw in my head the image

    of myself as a child, in the local swimming pool. With my father on the side,

    always dutifully keeping watch over what I'm sure he imagined was the

    enchanted glass rose that kept my fragile existence continuing. Invisible, and

    intagible as that rose might be. Near as I can tell, my dad figured that

    enchanted rose, the kind responsible for keeping princesses alive no doubt,

    must have been located somewhere's about a foot above my head at any

    given time.

    Surely, because I know he was hovering there for most of my childhood.

    Bible in one hand, cheap party store gin. PARTIES-R-EZ! ....PARTIES-R-EZ!

    PARTIES!...blink....R!....blink. I could never help but stare at that old,

    dying sign blink on and off. Hypnotizing. My dad would snap at me, tell me

    "Don't stare like a retard. People are going to think you're dumb." Who would

    have seen little ole me peering through the stained daisy curtains of the oldmotel that was cheap enough for an out-of-work minister who had taken to

    meathocking along with the local crackheads and buzzfucks.

    The trick to meathocking isn't stealing the meat. No, that's the easy

    part, so as you don't get seen and detained. No, you just walk right into the

    grocery mart-

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    Now, I should mention, because this is pertinent. You always want to

    dress a little more poor than the general clientel, but not poor enough where

    you are going to be brough to the little room in the back and questioned and

    raped and sodomized and murdered, just because you are too poor. I didn't

    know if any of that stuff about, raping, and sodomizing was true, or just stories

    my dad made up to protect me.

    It was until about the third time I died that I had never met security. But

    security or no security, you got to do, what you got to do. Just like my dad

    always said.

    "You ever hungry Karie, you just walk in a store, grab a steak and walk

    out like its an easter egg. Then you offer it for twenty bucks to the nearest

    mark. Do you understand?" I remember my father asking me, bending down to

    put his face in front of mine. A ritual of seriousness. A time to make sure

    everyone knows what the stake are.

    When you see your dad, the pillar of your universe, scooch down and

    stare at you, with his big cold blue eyes scrunched up, what could be sweat or

    tears all around his cheeks and eyes, you start to grow up a little.

    When he stands up, snorts, and plugging one nostril with the pad of his

    right thumb sends a booger bomb the likes which not only slightly amaze your

    confused child head but also send to you a second of resentment. You know if

    you had done that your father would be pissed. But then...that scares you. Your

    parent, their eternal laws, all breaking down in front of you. First its the tears

    that could be sweat, then the booger bomb. Next my father says a word I

    hadn't ever heard before. He seems scared, so...I'm scared.

    Starting to weep silently, clutching my handful of old lego's I was playing

    with before I had heard the crash downstairs, seen the beams of handheld

    flashlights come up the long driveway of the motel, seen the small orange dots

    of what I recognized from my father's habits as cigarette embers in the night

    air. But in my horror at the strangness of the whole situation, they were as

    horrifying and awful as a wave of glowing cyclops eyes, or will-o-wisps like my

    dad used to scared me into believing lived in the swamp behind the old house,

    before the move, before he told me the big girl word to get rid of nasties and

    ghoulies of all shapes and size.

    Abracadabra. I said it outloud. Abracadabra.

    What? My father asks me. Whispering. Blubbering. I can see it now, but

    my mind can't process it. Mental blindness. No, my pillar, MY pillar, MY wall MY

    safety net. MINE. I couldn't even see him lose hope. I didn't know what that

    looked like yet, not having much experience in the Big Wide World.

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    ABRACADABRA!! I shout at the top of my lungs. The words feel muted

    and silent and tremendous like a lions roar to me at the same time. I feel it rip

    through my being, I rise on my tippy toes as the word leaves me.

    When you see your dad look up and he looks like a rabbit who just got

    caught by a pack of wild dogs, you start to feel like a rabbit yourself.

    When your father leads you to the closet, the one no one ever notices

    cause of the way the door was made, out of the same siding as the wall, you

    start to realize that closets aren't really that fun after all.

    When you hide in one in the darkness, you realize how nice it is to be in

    the light and seen and held and loved. Things that seem so far away.

    Well, they found me. They weren't Security, they looked like normal

    men. I don't have to tell you the dangers of little girls being around normal

    men that just became scary men because;

    When they put a big old shiny gun to your daddies temple, the furrowed

    brow you've kissed a million times to give good luck, no matter how many

    times dad might yell or throw things, you start to realize nothing is fair.

    When the crack of the shot goes off, you start to realize monsters are

    real.

    When the blood comes out you realize you are going insane. But you

    don't have the words. You just are.

    About then, they found me. Well, I don't have to tell you the dangers oflittle girls being around normal men. Normal men who become scary men.

    The first time I died, I imagined kicking around the local swimming

    pool...and I swam away from all of it. It wouldn't be the first time.

    3

    The Mokshologists

    "Mziizm? Haven't 'eard that name 'n years. What bishness did you have

    with the like of that 'un?" Drunkenly mumbled out the old grandfather hobo, his

    voice almost obscured by the cacophony of tin and aluminum cans, cheapmetals for a cheap life, jostled about in his frayed triple layered wal-mart bags,

    his leathery, tanned hand searching for something.

    "Well, I 'aven't sheen 'em around." Grumbles the elder of the streets,

    sage of suffrage. "But I can tell ya one thin'...you don' wanna find 'im. Trust

    me." He retracted his arm, puffy with his layers of jackets, stuffing poking out

    of the outermost one and giving him the appearance of being a living stuffed

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    animal. Clutched in his now sticky hand, smelling of beer and corn syrup was a

    small business card. The ancient transient handed it over.

    It was a plain rectangle of white, made out of the usual thickness of

    paper that business cards are made out of, and on its grungy face it read;

    "Freelance Syncretist -MziizM- Licensed Mokshologist"

    The aged beggar-king pulled out a cardboard strip from another bag,

    and casually dropped it, the cardboard catching lightly on the raging thermals

    underneath the underpass and floating and scraping against the frozen dirt

    with a crunching sound. The mature vagrant peers, and seems to sober

    instantly.

    "From the little that I heard straight from the horses mouth so to speak,

    Mziizm hails from the north. Norther' than here if ya ken. Born outside the

    scope of true 'modernized cities'. A miracle birth, supposedly impossible. Not

    much he said about his home, other than he left it."

    "Some say, he's descended from a line of witches and witch-hunters who

    married by mistake, his great-great-great-and so on murdering his wife due to

    her 'witchcraft', and beheading thier sorceror dog. Some say he hails from

    great rebels of the past, revolutionaries and geniuses and adventurers, that his

    family might have indeed several times stolen ships from Great Britain herself,

    back in the day. Some say he is messiac and has come to help us all. Some say

    he is completely insane because of all of those things, well I don't know about

    either one per se, but..."

    "I think some people are just confusing to other people. They can't makeheads or tails of them and their brain can't either, so they get a fuzzy picture,

    their mind fills in the rest. Sometimes you get angels, sometimes demons.

    Mziizm? Just a man."

    ----Re Dax----

    "Religion should be practiced out of neccessity." I yell to my brothers

    and sisters, all of them swaying, bobbing, fractating and morphing into one

    solid mass of brilliant muteness against the throbbing bass, the oscillations

    wound so tight as to get your chromosones saying;

    Man. This is it. Wub.

    Then they come to me, each of them, and I reach beside the leg of my

    dark canvas pants, and with a gloved hand inserted into the handle, I lift it and

    set it on my lap. I see the coils of muscle on my tattooed arm bunch together,

    causing the tattoos there to ripple and move, animating the pictograms into

    movement. Red and cyan lights flit around the room, the merrymaker

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    suspended from the ceiling in as unobtrusive a way as management could

    figure. The light caused the tattoo to take a sinister, or perhaps should i say,

    more sinister appearance.

    On my arm, a brown dog, shaggy and houndlike, was tearing apart a

    snarling Mr. Tom Streetcat, who in turn had its tabby wide paws wrappedaround the broken figured of a small doormouse, two puncture holes around its

    small spine, from the angle the spine was clearly snapped. Wub.

    From the mouse, sprung starving fleas that skittered towards a small

    baby child, biting him, the plague in their mouths flowing like dark crystal

    waterfalls through the blood lines of the babe. The babe grew to a man, who

    was plagued by illness and insanity, who bit and tore at his skin and girated his

    eyes. Wub.

    One arm of the man holds a pike, dark blood gummed wood shaft tipped

    with folded, serrated, shattered-just-for-effect tip, going into the gut of his

    daughter.

    His grandson, a babe who stands nearby, watching, clutching a small,

    brown puppy, grows to a man. The man, kicks the now grown, shaggy, brown,

    houndlike dog. Wub wub.

    The story of the cosmos, on my arm. Drawn in patterns only revealed

    under the ghost-ligths of sacred, liminal space. Right here, and now.

    Right here and now they come to me, kneeling, their pink tongues, their

    pierced tongues, their...black tongues. I open the briefcase and take out a

    small fibercloth pouch. I stand up, pushing the chair I was sitting in, its thin

    wooden frame and clearly ancient, behind me. I see the top of my kneeling

    brethren's heads, or hair, in the case of the ones with the rasta dreads, or

    gasmasks, in the case of the C.L.M. clergy, their masks pushed up against their

    foreheads to recieve sacrament.

    I open the bag, unwrapping copper wire coated in red plastic from

    around the opening, and take out a plastic baggie. In the baggy, are seeds.

    Black seeds, about the size of peas.

    "Lock it up!" I yell to the doorman, a Janus in a sea of mercury and

    spectral illusions. I open the baggy, and grab a handful of seeds.

    "Ego video est deus ego deus igitur exemplum omnes. Ego video est

    deus ego deus igitur exemplum omnes." I recite as I walk around, placing

    [CENSORED OMITTED CONTENT] tongues.

    ---Mrs. Omnes---

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    A religion should be practiced out of neccesity. The perfect God is both a

    humble slave and a cruel master. The most effective God, would consist of

    both of the human states of being. Master and Slave. Enlightenment is old hat.

    Recognition of one's place in the social strata is the new illumination.

    Misanthropy, the new philanthropy.

    Total recognition of one's slavedom, or masterdom. To accomplish this,

    one must strive for years of perfection in the Art of Control. The only way one

    can be sure, positively sure that they are not a slave, is to own slaves. The only

    way to be a master is to kill your own masters.

    The last thing most people I preach the Good Word to, they don't

    appreciate it. Go figure. They should be so lucky that the last thing they see,

    before they slip into Oblivion, is the face of God. My face.

    They should be so lucky that when I wrap my arm around their necks,

    that they will look down. That they will see MY arm, the hand of God, stealing

    the life from them. Establishing dominance is the new show of humility.

    Some people get to find eternity staring at the shitter wall, or the

    scrunched up face of their obscenely fat wife. Some people get to die

    scratching their scrotum, before a stroke drops them to the floor, hand secured

    down the crotch of their pants.

    My converts? They see The Truth. Tattooed down the front of my arm,

    they see the Legacy of Life. The path to understanding. Then, I whisper my

    blessing.

    "You are nothing, and now you understand this;" and pivot my entire

    body to the right. Snap. You can feel the surprise vibrate through their internal

    decapitation.

    When I'm done, I call the parents, and explain that their child did not

    pass the semester. They would not move onto an Ivy League college. They will

    not have the house with the white picket fence. They will not pass GO, nor

    collect $2,000.

    At this point, you can almost smell the parents surprise. They ask, What

    did their child do? Were they late for class? Did they miss a project? I ignore

    them, of course, mentally taking note of the amount of my time they waste. OfThe Communities time. Each second, and I dock them a portion of their

    compensation. Eventually, they all stop talking, and when they do, I answer the

    same as I always do.

    "Since your child failed to complete the semester, we will be seeking

    legal action for compensation. Your child's meat will be in the mail, as per the

    American Compensation Act. Have a really, really nice day." And then I hang

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    up, counting two more slaves. Two more pieces of coal in the eternal machine.

    I turn back to my class, all of them staring at me, all wide eyes and

    prepubescent awkwardness. The classroom pristine except for the puddle of

    piss accumulating under the body of Roger Bradely. The other kids called him

    "Skip". Heaven knows why.

    "Don't be nosy nancies. Please turn to page thirty five in your history

    textbooks. Unless anyone else lost their book?"

    No one has. Finally, some order to the world.

    And dontcha know, I completely forgot the janitor's extension.