Of Mice and Men FP Narrative Ideas and words I can steal from the novel Where do I live? What is the setting like? What happens to me? What troubles do

Of Mice and Men FP Narrative

Ideas and words I can steal from the novel

Where do I live?What is the setting like?

What happens to me?What troubles do I face?

Who are my friends?Who are my enemies?How am I treated?

What are my hopes and dreams?How are my dreams shattered?

Write a story ending with the words: ‘So there I was – no money, no friends and no where to go.’

The character I am going to write as is …………………………….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GJIDR9J5eg

Outcomes: •B I can use a range of ambitious vocabulary, description and punctuation to control my writing. My story is interesting, organised, accurate throughout.

•C I can use commas accurately, some other punctuation including brackets and semi colons, different sentences, well chosen words and description. My story is organised, mostly clear and accurate. I can use speech accurately.

•D I can use a range of good words and basic punctuation to organise my story.

Skill: commas Section 1: Setting

The dustbowl has left the land dry, dusty and bare. Life has been difficult and I’ve never seen son many men drifting in and out of town. We give work were we can but at times, my father and I have to turn them away. The ranch, which sits overlooking the Salinas Valley, just outside Soledad, has been in the family for generations. Bucking barely and tending the fields to produce crops is what the Jones’ family do best. I often like to sit on the porch and watch the hares bounding through the crops, foxes waiting to pounce on their prey. During the day, it becomes so hot, it becomes laborious to work here. To add to my woes is my new wife, Sandy, who never seems to be around.

Highlight all the commas and the good words you can find in this passage.

Skill: commas Section 1: Setting

The dustbowl has left the land dry, dusty and bare. Life has been difficult and I’ve never seen son many men drifting in and out of town. We give work were we can but at times, my father and I have to turn them away. The ranch, which sits overlooking the Salinas Valley, just outside Soledad, has been in the family for generations. Bucking barely and tending the fields to produce crops is what the Jones’ family do best. I often like to sit on the porch and watch the hares bounding through the crops, foxes waiting to pounce on their prey. During the day, it becomes so hot, it becomes laborious to work here. To add to my woes is my new wife, Sandy, who never seems to be around.

Highlight all the commas and the good words you can find in this passage.

Your turn – write the opening paragraph to your own story featuring you as your chosen character. You must include commas and good vocabulary. You need to write about 150 words.




Skill: Semi ColonsSection 2: Character

I have been living in the shadow of my father for many years. The men on the ranch don’t take me seriously. They taunt me; talk about me behind my back; and curse my wife. Boxing has been my only salvation. Growing up I was forced to take care of myself; I had no brothers to defend me or to watch my back. Once my mother died, from a long drawn out illness, I had no choice. I needed to toughen up to help me survive the beatings father used to give. He didn’t mean to hurt me, it was just his way. I guess that’s why I don’t like big guys. I wish Sandy didn’t like be guys either.

Highlight all the semi colons and good words in this extract. Can you work out the two ways you can use a semi colon?

Write two sentence below with semi colons in them.

Example 1

Example 2

Semi Colons1. Can be used in a list of phrases and

before and

Curley was a fierce boxer; bully to his wife; and abusive to the men on the ranch.

2. Can be used to join two short sentences that have linked ideas

Curley’s wife was lonely. She had nobody to talk to.

Curley’s wife was lonely ; she had nobody to talk to.

Self Assess 1. Highlight/ underline all the

good effective and impressive words you have chosen.

2. Highlight/ underline the semi colons you have used.

3. Check your work is accurate and makes sense: Spelling, punctuation and grammar.




FeedbackWWW: Most of You able

to use ; and , in your

writing

EBI: more impressive vocabulary to make descriptions and writing more interesting.

Pick out an effective description

Find a good adjective (describing word)

Pick out an effective description and a good adjective (describing word)

UPGRADE YOUR WORDSE C A

ChildishSilly Juvenile

Boisterous NoisyRowdy

Angry LividIrate

Miserable DepressedDespondent

Buoyant Hopeful Optimistic

Hostile Aggressive Belligerent

UPGRADE YOUR WORDSWORDS FROM MY STORY

BETTER EVEN BETTER

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

EXTENSION LOOK UP THESE WORDS ANDWRITE A DEFINITION IN YOUR OWN WORDS.

SuperiorAffluent JubilantUncouthExtreme Feeble Compliant Soporific

Find 8 new adjectivesthat you think you coulduse somewhere in yourstory so far.

Write them in the margin of you book IN RED anddraw an arrow to the words you are replacing.

Outcomes: •B I can use a range of ambitious vocabulary, description and punctuation to control my writing. My story is interesting, organised, accurate throughout. I can use a range of different sentence openings.



SKILL: Words and descriptionSECTION 3:Building to the Main Event

Read the next part of my story as Curley andhighlight effective descriptions and good words.

One afternoon, after I returned from Suzie's place (I like to have drink or two to unwind), I found that Sandy was not at home. Again. Ambling over to the bunk house I resolved to find her; she was probably with Slim. He was like a prince to the others. God damn wound me up the way he paraded around the ranch with that Stetson under his arm as if he owned the place.

With an intake of breath I swung open the door to find the new guys playing solitaire and Slim conversing with Carlson over a tin of what smelt like hard whiskey. Before I even spoke, the big fella smirked in my direction. Fury began to coarse through my veins; I could feel my temples pulsing with anger. Who did he think he was to scoff at me? Him and his shrewd guardian, feet well and truly under my father’s table. The big guy’s stupidity and foolishness drove me to distraction! Rolling up my sleeves I stormed across to the table with the intention of confronting him.

SKILL: Sentence OpeningsRewrite the following sentences in two different ways. Example:

The woman slowly opened the door to the dark cellar. COULD BE

Slowly, the woman, who was now terrified, opened the door to the dark cellar.

ORThe door to the dark cellar creaked as it was slowly opened by the woman.

1. The soldiers cowered in the damp trenches, fear written on their faces.

2. The spaceship hurtled towards the burning planet, spinning out of control.

3. Nervously, the young man approached the beautiful model.

4. Tired from his adventures, Terrence retreated into his shell.

5. Roaring like an express train, the snow charged down the mountain.

6. She glanced behind her, convinced she had heard footsteps.

Savage Porcupines Can Always Annoy People

You must start your sentences in different ways to show skill and variety. This makes your writing more interesting to read.

1. The subjectThe man walked down the street.

2. A participle (-ing or –ed word)Walking up the street, he tripped.Worried about tripping, he bumped into his wife.

3. A conjunctionAs he walked, he whistled.

4. An adverbJoyfully he skipped up the street.

5. An adjectiveAngry at the world, he stalked off.

6. A phraseAt the top of the road, he paused.

Review:Go back through your story so far and draw a little porcupine in the margin where you have used these sentences.

If you haven’t used these types of sentence anywhere then tweak your work to include them

Skill: Sentence OpeningsSection 3: Main Event

The new guy was a huge fella. Towering over me like a big dumb bear, I locked eyes on him, “what you gawping at?” I demanded.“Let him be.” said the small guy; his words were laced with concern. “You don’t speak for him!” I was becoming increasingly frustrated. “I’ll ask you again, what you gawping at?” The big guy looked astonished and uncertain what to do. Raising my fists I was caught off guard; unprepared when the big guy lunged at me like crazed loon. “Get off, get off!” I bawled but the weight of the giant began to crush me. Ferociously, he seized my hand. Pain seared through my fingers, spread up my arm and into my shoulder. Twisting and burning, I convulsed in pain as I felt my bones crack. As I dropped to my knees, Carlson and George managed to drag that thug from me. At that moment, I knew I had to get out of there. Angry and humiliated I tried to retreat from the barn but Slim stepped in the doorway, blocking my escape route.

HIGHLIGHT and LABEL: savage porcupines can always annoy people

You must start your sentences in different ways to show skill and variety. This makes your writing more interesting to read.

Highlight at least four different ways to use in your own story. Choose ones you think you can use successfully.

The subject (usually a noun)The man walked down the street.

A participle (-ing or –ed word)Walking up the street, he tripped.

Worried about tripping, he bumped into his wife.

A conjunction (connective)As he walked, he whistled.

An adverb (describes a verb)Joyfully he skipped up the street.

An adjective (describing word)Angry at the world, he stalked off.

A phraseAt the top of the road, he paused.

Skill: Sentence OpeningsSection 4: Main Event

The new guy was a huge fella. Towering over me like a big dumb bear, I locked eyes on him, “what you gawping at?” I demanded.“Let him be.” said the small guy; his words were laced with concern. “You don’t speak for him!” I was becoming increasingly frustrated. “I’ll ask you again, what you gawping at?” The big guy looked astonished and uncertain what to do. Irritated by his lack of response, I wasn’t going to give him a third chance. Raising my fists I was caught off guard; unprepared when the big guy lunged at me like crazed loon. “Get off, get off!” I bawled but the weight of the giant began to crush me. Ferociously, he seized my hand. Pain seared through my fingers, spread up my arm and into my shoulder. Twisting and burning, I convulsed as I felt my bones crack. As I dropped to my knees, Carlson and George managed to drag that thug from me. At that moment, I knew I had to get out of there. Angry and humiliated I tried to retreat from the barn but Slim stepped in the doorway, blocking my escape route.

Outcomes: •B I can use a range of ambitious vocabulary, description and punctuation to control my writing. My story is interesting, organised skilfully and effectively, accurate throughout. I can use a range of different sentence openings and sentences lengths for effect.

•C I can use commas accurately, some other punctuation including brackets and semi colons, different length sentences well chosen words and description. My story is organised effectively, mostly clear and accurate. I can use speech accurately.

•D I can use a range of good words and basic punctuation to organise my story. I can write using some different sentences.

Slim looked at me, calculating his next move. I darted left and he darted left. I lunged right then he lunged right. Leaving the bunk house was not an option. The men began to jeer in the background and my head spun knowing that I was outnumbered. If only I hadn’t provoked this situation; if only I’d used kinder words. Slim raised a finger to me and he prodded my chest. He leaned in towards me, so close I could smell the whiskey on his breath. A whisper was all it took for me to get the message.

Slim looked at me, calculating his next move. I darted left. He darted left. I lunged right. He lunged right. Leaving the bunk house was not an option. The men began to jeer in the background and my head spun knowing that I was outnumbered. If only I hadn’t provoked this situation; if only I’d used kinder words. Slim raised a finger. He prodded my chest. He leaned in towards me, so close I could smell the whiskey on his breath. A whisper. That was all it took. I got the message.

These passages are virtually the same.

Decide what the difference is between the passages.

Which build tension more effectively and why?

Slim looked at me, calculating his next move. I darted left and he darted left. I lunged right then he lunged right. Leaving the bunk house was not an option. The men began to jeer in the background and my head spun knowing that I was outnumbered. If only I hadn’t provoked this situation; if only I’d used kinder words. Slim raised a finger to me and he prodded my chest. He leaned in towards me, so close I could smell the whiskey on his breath. A whisper was all it took for me to get the message.


These passages are virtually the same.

Decide what the difference is between the passages.

Which build tension more effectively and why?

Skill: Simple sentences for effect and echoing.Section: EndingSlim looked at me, calculating his next move. I darted left. He darted left. I lunged right. He lunged right. Leaving the bunk house was not an option. The men began to jeer in the background and my head spun knowing that I was outnumbered. If only I hadn’t provoked this situation; if only I’d used kinder words. Slim raised a finger. He prodded my chest. He leaned in towards me, so close I could smell the whiskey on his breath. A whisper. That was all it took. I got the message.

Slim moved away from the exit of the barn and I scampered like a terrier to a place of safety. The porch. I sat for a moment or two to let Slim’s words sink in. A hare was bounding through the crops; a fox ready to pounce. Just as I had been ready to pounce on George in the barn. This was the first time I had felt it; shame.

It had been a hot day and as I contemplated Slim’s warning, I realised that I was still no closer to tracking down my elusive Sandy. Nowhere to be seen; it was now apparent that she was the least of my woes. Already unpopular, I had made more enemies in the bunkhouse. I had to watch my back.

• Highlight/ underline all the simple sentences in my ending.• Look back at the beginning of my story and write down what

you think echoing is?

Echoing is when ...


Slim moved away from the exit of the barn and I scampered like a terrier to a place of safety. The porch. I sat for a moment or two to let Slim’s words sink in. A hare was bounding through the crops; a fox ready to pounce. Just as I had been ready to pounce on George in the barn. This was the first time I had felt it; shame.

It had been a hot day and I as I contemplated Slim’s warning, I realised that I was still no closer to tracking down my elusive Sandy. Nowhere to be seen; it was now apparent that she was the least of my woes. Already unpopular, I had made more enemies in the bunkhouse. I had to watch my back.

Echoing:If you look back at section one of my story –the setting – what do you notice when you compare it with the ending?

Outcomes: •B I can use a range of ambitious vocabulary, description and punctuation to control my writing. My story is interesting, organised skilfully and effectively, accurate throughout. I can use a range of different sentence openings and sentences lengths for effect.

•C I can use commas accurately, some other punctuation including brackets and semi colons, different length sentences well chosen words and description. My story is organised effectively, mostly clear and accurate. I can use speech accurately.

•D I can use a range of good words and basic punctuation to organise my story. I can write using some different sentences.

Self Assess

1. Proof read your work to check it makes sense.

2. Highlight where you have used simple sentences for effect and to control the reader.

3. Highlight any details you have used which ‘echo’ your setting.

Don’t forget you should have included the other skills we have covered (, ; vocabulary,

openings)

Revision StarterCopy and complete the table:

Section Skill

Today…1. Stick in sheets (in order)2. Look at each section and make sure it is

complete: Setting, Character, Building to Main Action, Main Action and Ending.

3. Across your whole story, highlight the skills we have covered:

• Commas• Semi colons• Vocab• Sentences openings• Simple sentences for effect/ echoing

4. Lined paper from the front – begin writing up your story in best. You can alter and improve your story to include more skills and details.

Homework

Planners Out:

Finish writing up story in neat on A4 paper for hand in on Monday No Excuses!

ChecklistThroughout my story I need to use:CommasSemi colonsVocabSentences openingsSimple sentences for effect/

echoing

WWW:

EBI:

Preparing for our CA• You have done a great job so

far!• You have been practicing all

the skills you need • You need to know your

stories really well • You need to revise your

stories and your skills for the writing assessment

• You need to transfer details and words onto a planning triangle

Skills RevisionCommasWrite down 3 sentences from your storythat use commas.

Semi colonsWrite down 3 sentences from your story thatuse semi colons

VocabularyWrite down 3 sentences with impressivevocabulary from your story

Sentences openingsWrite down 3 sentences with differentopenings from your story

Simple sentences for effectWrite down 3 effective simple sentences fromyour story

CHALLENGEWe have been very clever using OMAM to inspire our writing this half term. However the exam board states that your writing assessment stories need to have a particular title. We must choose from:

(a) Write about a time when you were ashamed of yourself.

(b) Write a story ending with the words: ‘So there I was – no money, no friends and no where to go.’

(c) Write a story about a time when you managed to do something for the first time.

Think about your story, select a task that you could tweak your story to match. We’ve got to keep Mr Gove happy and prove we aren’t daft!

Planning Triangle

Dustbowl men driftingThe ranchSalinas Valley, Soledad Bucking barely tending sit on the porch watch the hares foxes waiting Hot and laborious new wife, Sandy

Beginning

Middle

End

Character

Build to Main Action

Setting

Ending

Main Event

Semi Colons Commas

Sentence OpeningsSimple Sentences

EchoingWords and DescriptionASOSMAP –adjectives,

adverbs, similes, senses, onomatopoeia,

sentences (lengths and structures), metaphor,

alliteration, punctuation and paragraphs.

Instructions...1. Label beginning, middle and end on

your triangle.2. Give your triangle your chosen task

as a title. 3. Write down all the skills you need to

show in your writing, in the middle of the triangle.

4. Plot the sections (setting etc) around the outside of your triangle in RED.

5. Now jot down brief details, key words and vocabulary around the outside to help you remember your story.

WORKING INDEPENDENTLY

Documents

Of Mice and Men FP Narrative Ideas and words I can steal from the novel Where do I live? What is the setting like? What happens to me? What troubles do