October 2015 - Tishri/Cheshvan 5776

Shofar Tishri/ Cheshvan 5776 Jewish Family Congregation October 2015

www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

From the Rabbi’s Desk page 2 President’s Message page 3 Religious School page 4 Early Childhood Center page 5 Ritual Committee page 6

Cantor’s Corner page 7 Social Action page 8 Yahrzeit/Birthday/Anniversary page 10 Donations page 13

October Service Schedule

Shabbat Chol Hamoed Sukkot

October 2 6:00 pm Shabbat Service in Ridgefield October 3 10:30 am Shabbat Service including Bar Mitzvah of Max Grzymala in South Salem

Simchat Torah October 4 6:00 pm Erev Simchat Torah and Shabbat Service in Ridgefield October 5 10:00 am Simchat Torah service in South Salem

Shabbat Bereshit, Genesis 1:1—6:8

October 9 7:30 pm Shabbat Service in Ridgefield October 10 10:30 am Shabbat Service including Bar Mitzvah of Tyler Leitner in Ridgefield

Shabbat Noach, Genesis 6:9—11:32 October 16 7:30 pm Shabbat Service in Ridgefield October 17 10:30 am Shabbat Service including

Bar Mitzvah of Alexander Junquera in Ridgefield

Shabbat Lech Lecha, Genesis 12:1—17:27 October 23 7:30 pm Shabbat Service in Ridgefield

October 24 10:30 am Shabbat in the Round, Ridgefield, CT 5:00 pm Shabbat Service including Bat Mitzvah of Lauren Rose in Ridgefield Shabbat Vayera, Genesis 18:1—22:24

Sunday Religious School Service

Top of the Mountain

Youth group in their new lounge

Page 2 Jewish Family Congregation Shofar October 2015

From the Rabbi’s Desk

Shabbat in the Round -- A New Worship Opportunity

As we become a larger congregation with more resources available

to us, you will find that we can offer more and diverse programs for

our members at services, learning sessions, and social events.

Rabbi Reiner and I have planned several Shabbat in the Round

Saturday morning services for this upcoming year to take place

when there is not a bar or bat mitzvah ceremony that morning.

These services will take place in the library of the Ridgefield location

to provide an intimate and personal experience. In addition to the

usual Shabbat morning prayers and torah reading, we may take

some time during the service to share some personal thoughts and

reactions to the prayers. We also anticipate that members of our

congregation will contribute some of their own scholarship and ex-

amples from their own lives during the services.

Each Shabbat in the Round service will begin at 10:30 am and will be followed by a pot-luck, vegetarian

luncheon. In this way, we hope to share our lives with each other in addition to the prayer service.

We promise that these services will be accessible to all -- you do not have to be "talmud

chuchum" (torah scholar in Yiddish) to appreciate and enjoy the worship opportunity.

Please join us for the first Shabbat in the Round service on Saturday, October 24.

I look forward to seeing you!

Rabbi Marcus Burstein

Scheduling Weddings or Funerals with Rabbi Burstein

Rabbi Burstein wants very much to be with you during

significant life-cycle moments. Please speak with him

before setting any dates or times for weddings or funer-

als. Don’t be disappointed to learn he is not available at

the time you’ve already arranged, bring him “into the

loop” at the very beginning of your planning.

Tishri/Chesvan 5776 Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Page 3

Jewish Family

Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road

P.O. Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069

[email protected]

www.jewishfamilycongregation.org —————

Rabbi

Marcus L. Burstein, D. Min. [email protected]

—————

Director of Education Leslie Gottlieb

[email protected]

Early Childhood Center Director Jane Weil Emmer

[email protected]

Administrator Kathleen Sakowicz

[email protected]

Bookkeeper

Carol Wakeman [email protected]

—————

Glenn Kurlander, Co-President

Hal Wolkin, Co-President [email protected]

Josh Blum, First Vice-President

Suzanne Sunday, Second Vice-President

Robyn Cohen, Treasurer

Richard Mishkin, Secretary [email protected]

Karen Conti, Trustee Jon Glass, Trustee

Mindy Hoffman, Trustee Robi Margolis, Trustee Paul Storfer, Trustee

Bonnie Wattles, Trustee [email protected]

Shofar Editor

Kathleen Sakowicz

Shofar Printer

Copy Stop Royal Press

September was a month of change. Summer exits and fall takes its

place. The leaves begin to turn. School buses continue to follow their

routes, but the destination is school, not day camp. On the Jewish cal-

endar, on the 1st day of Tishri—this year corresponding to the 14th day

of September—we mark Rosh Hashanah, the beginning of a New Year.

We embark on a period of reflection and assessment, punctuated by

new resolve and renewed commitments. The High Holy Days are in

some fundamental way about change: about undertaking a commit-

ment to change the way we think and act; about aspiring to do better;

about taking a different, perhaps higher, path. This year, in particular,

it is also about bringing our area’s Jewish Community together in order

to build a larger, more vibrant and more stable foundation for the fu-

ture.

Looking back over the year that is coming to an end, it’s almost in-

credible how much change we’ve experienced as a community. It was

one year ago in the September 2014 Presidents’ message, that we

wrote for the first time about the fact that a small group of Board

members had begun conversations with the leadership of Temple

Shearith Israel, for the purpose of exploring a range of opportunities

for our two congregations to collaborate in ways that would be benefi-

cial for each and to the Jewish community.

Those conversations were preliminary and exploratory. But they were

the first step that brought us all to the exciting path to which our com-

munity is now firmly committed: the formation of a new synagogue.

We noted from the very beginning that in building a new synagogue

there would be things we wouldn’t want to—we couldn’t—change.

Those were the things that define our essence; our uniqueness. We

may all have different ways of expressing these attributes, but for us,

the unique JFC qualities are our sense of family; our connectedness;

our informality; our commitment to our children’s education; our affec-

tion and respect for our clergy; our emphasis on music and song in our

worship.

Looking back over the past year, and all the work so many people had

to do in order to put our area’s Jewish community on the path to join-

ing together in one new synagogue, the thing that is striking is that

there really weren’t fundamental differences. There were no major dis-

agreements; no ultimata; no political maneuverings. In part, that was

because of the good will and dedication of so many people who under-

took this significant challenge. In part, it was because people were

able to keep their eyes on the ball, and refused to get sidetracked by

small issues. But it was also because, at root, the two legacy syna-

gogues shared the same core values.

One of the values that resonated so powerfully throughout the early

discussions and continues to echo so powerfully today is the commit-

ment both legacy synagogues historically have made to extending

Continued on page 9

From The Co-Presidents By Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin


From the Religious School By Leslie Gottlieb

Celebrating Jewish rituals and lifecycle events have a way of providing comfort and structure to our

lives. That is why it came as such a cold shock to read last month in The New York Law Journal the

article, Mother Owes Son $5,000 Bar Mitzvah Gift from ‘Baba,’ Judge Says. Even though Jordan, the

twenty year-old who left Mom and Grandma (aka Baba) off the guest list for this seminal event in his

life—he was promised a gift of $5,000. Somehow, the mitzvah in Bar Mitzvah was lost along the way.

A small claims complaint was filed and documents were submitted as this son sued his mother for

damages related to a gift withheld.

So where did things fall off the track exactly? How was the mark missed? There is no guessing as the

private lives of families are unknown to outsiders—and even those mired in the heavy lifting of family

matters gone awry have trouble untangling personal emotions from the real story. Is there ever a real

story and does it matter what the facts are, facts that lead to family decay? Somehow we have trouble

learning life’s lessons—even given many decades of hands-on experimentation.

The Religious School experience aims higher, of course. Taking classes during one’s childhood cannot

ensure a good life lived without strife, but the intention, the kavannah, is to reach for a better way to

deal with life’s pivotal moments. Religion should support us, not lead to the breakdown of family ties.

The great irony of marking a milestone in life worthy of celebration is revealed when family members

bicker and fight at these emotional times. A funeral for a loved one ends in siblings holding grudges

and leaving the shiva on non-speaking terms; a wedding ends in a brawl; a family leaves the syna-

gogue after their son’s Bar Mitzvah event claiming they were treated unkindly; a mother is sued for a

gift owed to her son. And so it goes….

We can teach prayer, Torah, holidays, the Jewish calendar, Hebrew, and more—and all of it cannot

stand alone (although one can argue that Torah can stand alone, period) unless there is a values-

driven agenda connected to it all. If students are being bullied or insulted in the walls of a school, there

is more trouble than an inability to pass grade-level assessments. We need to convey the spirit behind

the laws and liturgy. Students have to understand that they need to reach deeper in this learning con-

text to be the best they can be as human beings. You can get extra credit or feel proud for bringing

tzedakah to class each week—but if you cheat or lie or hurt someone purposely, what is gained, really?

The lesson of g’milut chasidim, or kindness to others, is paramount in the school setting.

We teach about the most important holiday on the Jewish calendar, Shabbat. We talk about keeping it

holy. This, of course, means something different to all of us and Jews, in general, have a difficult time

agreeing about what the commitment entails, precisely. Are you a faithful Jew for stopping to meditate

on the meaning of the Sabbath? If you light candles but do not say the blessing for them, some would

say that the action and the prayer are at a loss for meaning when unaccompanied by the other to sanc-

tify the experience. Does one have to sit shiva for a loved one for seven days? These are ideas to talk

about and teach at the Religious School-- and then families and students are left with personal deci-

sions to make. We all need to define what holiness means-- but we also need to establish a foundation

with the teachings necessary to make those choices real.

The famous British neurologist, Oliver Sacks, who died at eighty-two in late August reflected on his life

over his last year, especially, and wrote an essay, Sabbath, as his final piece on life. He wrote, “And

now, weak, short of breath, my once-firm muscles melted away by cancer, I find my thoughts, increas-

ingly, not on the supernatural or spiritual, by what is meant by living a good and worthwhile life—

achieving a sense of peace within oneself. I find myself drifting toward the Sabbath, the day of rest,

the seventh day of the week, and perhaps the seventh day of one’s life as well, when one can feel that

one’s work is done, and one may, in good conscience, rest.”

Continued on page 9


From the Early Childhood Center By Jane Emmer

We started the school year off with lots of excitement and fun. We were thrilled to explore the new space and meet new friends. The children and teachers in The Early Childhood Center are busy engaging in play learning from each other. Types of play

Children’s play can be divided into categories, but the types of play

often overlap. • Dramatic — Fantasy-directed play with dressing up in costumes, assuming roles as characters, using toys to represent characters in stories, creating imaginary settings, and pretending to take on the roles of adults.

• Manipulative — Holding and handling small toys often used to build objects but also found in puzzles, characters, beads, etc. • Physical — Using the whole body in activities with bikes, balls, jump ropes, hoops, play structures, etc. • Creative — Using art materials such as paint, clay, crayons, pen-cils, glue, etc. The play takes place in the process of using the ma-terials, not in the end product.

Benefits of play Through play, children develop skills they’ll use in their school years.

Physical Both gross and fine motor development occurs through play. When kids play outdoors, if they feel comfortable and supported, they’ll push themselves to new challenges and build motor skills. Developing fine motor skills, such as handling small objects, is a way for children to practice using their hands and fingers, which in turn builds the strength and coordina-tion critical for writing skills.

Language

Children build language skills through cooperative play. Their suc-cess depends on their ability and patience in explaining themselves. Teachers repeat the words children say to help others understand. They also teach words about the objects the kids are interested in

handling. Students may talk to themselves while playing side by side with other children and then begin to repeat what they hear or start talking to each other. This develops into back-and-forth com-munication about play, becoming increasingly sophisticated by age 4. Children will now set rules, have specific roles, express their inter-ests or objections, and chatter about funny situations that occur in

the course of play. Self-concept

Play builds a strong sense of self-confidence. Trying to do a certain trick on a play structure or build with blocks is hard work for a preschooler. Teachers acknowledge these experiences by articulating what they observe and letting the preschooler absorb these accomplishments again. There are also therapeutic benefits to play that help all chil-

dren. For example, understanding that a parent is going to work and will come back at pick-up time can be rein-forced through a play scenario.

Continued on page 9


From the Ritual Committee By Michael Salpeter

Rosh Hashanah has just ended as I am sitting down to write this article. I would therefore like to use

this column to reflect upon the few days that have recently passed. If you were among the 1000 or

so congregants who attended the first day Rosh Hashanah services you probably experienced the joy

the members of the ritual committee felt in having so impressive a community come together to wor-

ship. We were pleased that so large an undertaking could be accomplished for the first time with only

a few minor glitches that were all but invisible to most of the attendees.

First I would like to summarize some of the highlights. The Erev Rosh Hashanah service was followed

by an elaborate Oneg Rosh Hashanah which was hosted by the Boards of Trustees of the two legacy

congregations. This afforded the opportunity for old friends to reconnect and for people who might

not have previously known each other to introduce themselves. The following morning during the two

services we were able to experience slightly different worship styles, the early service being a little

shorter with a less formal sermonette, and the later service which was more typical in fashion. Each

service gave the attendees the spiritual environment in which to celebrate the New Year. The second

morning Rosh Hashanah service, as expected, was conducted in a more intimate manner in our sanc-

tuary, followed by the congregational luncheon for those who chose to attend.

In order for the services to be as successful as they were took untold hours of preparation as well as

great cooperation by the members of our new synagogue. I would then be remiss if I did not give

thanks to the following:

To Rabbi Burstein, Rabbi Reiner and Cantor Katchko-Gray for leading us so meaningfully.

To the musicians and members of the choir who so beautifully performed the various musi-

cal selections.

To the members of the ritual committee, particularly our co-chair Louis Haber who made

sure the small details were planned.

To the members of the Boards and Core Committee who were involved to help guide us.

To the volunteers who helped with parking, security, ticket checking, and ushering.

To our Torah and Haftarah chanters and Shofar blowers.

To the synagogue members who volunteered to switch to the earlier service to help accom-

modate the large numbers of people who needed to be seated in the sanctuary.

To our office staff Kathleen Sakowicz, Laura Morris and Carol Wakeman who handled the

myriad of details.

To Lauren Sugar who made sure the building looked like a home to all.

To our building staff Miguel Santiago and Lorilee Palazzo who set up and maintained the

sanctuary.

To our members Gary and Paula Levine of Bedford Bagels who catered our Second Day

Rosh Hashanah luncheon for providing their usual fantastic quality and quantity of food for

an amazingly reasonable cost to the attendees.

To any congregants who may have been affected by minor glitches and graciously accepted

our apologies.

To anybody else who contributed to the success of the services and who I may have inad-

vertently omitted.

And to everyone who attended the High Holy Day services who helped confirm that a large

Jewish community can and needs to exist in Northern Westchester and Western Fairfield

Counties.

The members of the ritual committee and the clergy look forward to celebrating many more festivals

and Shabbatot with you and wish you and your families a sweet New Year.


Cantor Debbie’s Corner By Cantor Debbie Katchko-Gray

Lishmoa El Harina v’el Hat’filah

These words are from the Slichot service, and translate as,

“listen to our song, and our prayer”

As my cousin, Cantor Leopold Szneer taught me, the song brings you closer to the prayer- and so our

music during the holydays helped us bring us closer –

I want to thank the many musicians who helped make our High Holyday main services uplifting and

beautiful:

Emily Howard

Terry Henry

Ray Schwartz

Scott Gray

Ken Isman

Joan Isman

Lisa Papernik

Curt Shulman

Alan Pilch

Amanda Goodman

Michael Horowitz

Lynn Becker

Tammy Strom

Robert Strom

Debbie Lavin

Claire Katz

Laurie Dubin

Scott Trachtenberg

Bruce Appelson

Jane LaMotta

Thanks to our soloists and musicians:

Wendy Wallach DeLucia, Ken Isman, Carrie Chanin

Cousin Michael Belinkie of the US Navy Seachanters

Accompanist- Barbara Orwick

Reed Artists- Mark Fineberg bronxbearmusic.com

Flute- Adrianne Greenbaum

Shiru Ladonai Shir Chadash- Sing a New Song Unto G-d-

May we continue to sing and share the spirit of light and hope during the New Year 5776. Please

note the Music Shabbat and Ruach Shabbat dates for extra special music and musical artists. Many

thanks to our rabbis and ritual committee for the extraordinary planning and caring during this time.

Shalom,

Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray


Social Action By Debbie Landzberg and Debbie Lavin


Continued from page 3—Co-Presidents’ message

membership to all who wish to join, irrespective of financial ability. Opening the doors of our synagogue to

all who seek to enter is one of those attributes that defines our essence; that is truly at the core of who

we are. It is rooted in our sense of family and our sense of connectedness. It is something that cannot

change. Our counterparts up the road a piece would say—have said—exactly the same thing.

Because it is so fundamental to our shared beliefs, now that we have embarked on the path to union, dur-

ing the High Holy Days when we gather in the Ridgefield building we will again ask those who can afford to

do so to support the High Holy Day / Yom Kippur campaign, so that we can continue to offer membership

to those families who otherwise could not experience the sheltering embrace of our synagogue. We hope

that you those who can afford to do so will support the High Holy Day / Yom Kippur Campaign, because it

is at the core of who we are, because it is one of the values upon which our new synagogue stands firmly

and proudly and simply because it’s the right thing to do.

Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin

Continued from page 4—Religious School

With a religious background, but a life lived secularly, Sacks brings to mind the idea that religion can be a

comfort when called upon for those who understand and subscribe to it; it can lead to holiness and peace.

Thanks to all of the families of the Religious School for sharing your precious children with us each week

and for giving us a chance, with your ultimate guidance, to lead them on this path of understanding.

Continued from page 5—Early Childhood Center

Social development

Listening, negotiating, and compromising are challenging for 4- and 5-year-olds. Though children at this

age are still egocentric, or unable to think beyond their own needs, working with others helps them devel-

op an awareness of differences in people around them. These experiences in preschool provide a founda-

tion for learning how to solve problems and communicate with peers. Play also helps build positive leader-

ship qualities for children who are naturally inclined to direct but must learn how to control their impulses.

As we move through our year, we remind ourselves the importance of play.

EARLY CHILDHOOD CENTER OPPORTUNITIES:

Contact Jane Emmer at 203-438-6589 if you are interested in participating in the below activities:

- I am forming an advisory team of professionals who work with children. This will be a group of people

who can be available to the ECC staff and the director. It will not require regular meetings, just an oppor-

tunity to brainstorm ideas to make our school better.

- I would like to start an intergenerational program at the ECC. If you would like to participate and work

with our kids please let me know.


Frank Andrade

Daniel Barson

Daniel Bloch

Evan Dash

Jonathan Elias

Joshua Fischman

Joseph Furic

Jonathan Gilbert

Emily Kahn

Sam Kaplan

Sean Kaplan

Debra Lavin

Kyle Leitner

David Levens

Laurel Levinsohn

Phoebe Lichtman

Catherine Mishkin

Lauren Rose

Dr. Eric Rudin

Jeanette Sanders

Sarabeth Sanders

Polly Schnell

Greg Schwartz

Daniel Stegman

Eric Stegman

Jeremy Tubbs

Tyler Reardon Wallach

Luke Weiser

Please call the JFC Office when any relevant information arises or changes so all Birthday, Anniversary and

Yahrzeit listings are accurate and up to date.

BIRTHDAYS

Have you considered celebrating significant birthdays and

anniversaries with a leaf on our Simcha Tree of Life?

Call the JFC Office for details.

Please Support Our Advertisers

Gerhard Bendix

Jennifer Laurie Brainerd

Edythe Cohen

Leonard Dutka

David Emmer

William Fischman

Amy Friedlander

Gregory Friedlander

Molly Friedlander

Eddy Fuchs

Thomas Gabor

Helen Garfiel

Jacob Goldberg

Elias Jacobson

Esther Kalb

Saul Kurzweil

Julius Leitner

Leroy Ronald Levin

Dora Lichtbach

Harriet Mazlish

Joseph Meyer Gordon

Sylvia Mininberg

Yale Ossher

Yitzchak Rabin

Dominic Romeo

Anna Schattner

Rachel Sher

Philip Silverman

Norma Sklarin

Leon Spear

Richard Stanley

Jean Steinhorn

YAHRZEITS

Paul & Elizabeth Amerling

Neal & Karen Blum

Brian & Jillian Chipman Leonardo & Allison Junquera

Kenneth Levinsohn & Ellen Strauss Michael & Rona Salpeter Eric & Andrea Stegman

Paul & Kathleen Storfer Dr. Jay Zaslow & Dr. Samantha Rai

David & Elisa Zuckerberg

ANNIVERSARIES




Donations General Fund

Robi Margolis In memory of Rose Margolis Robi Margolis In memory of Colette Horvilleur

Suzanne Sunday and Ken Kurzweil In memory of Colette Horvilleur

Rabbi Discretionary Fund

Marcus Burstein In memory of Pearl Bell Feldman Matt Polinsky and Tina August In honor of Rabbi Marcus Burstein and Rabbi David Reiner

Donations made after the tenth of the month will appear in next month’s Shofar.



Non Profit Organization

Postage PAID

White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022

CURRENT RESIDENT OR

Early Childhood Center started the year off with Big Smiles!

Help us Help the Homeless

Donation bin located in the Ridgefield campus entryway until Friday, October 16

We need lots of New men’s warm socks (dark colors), boxers (size M/L/XL), and

cold weather gloved (dark colors)

See page 8 for more social action opportunities

Make sure to check out our calendar for up to date events

at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

Documents

October 2015 - Tishri/Cheshvan 5776