October 2011

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Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc.,Member, M.I.P.A.

Editor: Marilyn [email protected]

Administrative Assistant: Carol [email protected]

Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff

Graphic Production AssistantKate Thomas

SalesMarilyn Tinnin, Shannon Collins

Contributing Writers:Lydia Bolen, Kathy Tony Boyd, Roger Davis,

Susan Deaver, Cathy Haynie, William B.Howell, Katie Kilgore, Barbara Knopes,

Robin O’Bryant, Janie Pillow, Suzanne Russell,Susan E. Richardson, Suzanne Sansing,Marilyn Tinnin, Martin E. Willoughby, Jr.

Cover PhotoZach Fields

Distribution Assistants: Laura Blackledge,Kim Roberts, Carol Rodgers, Andrea Sabillion,

Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, PriscillaSullivan, Tim Waldon, Bob Whatley

Metro Christian Living is committed toencouraging individuals in their daily lives bypresenting the faith stories of others and byproviding information that will point everyperson, at every stage of life, to a deeper,authentic, personal, and life changingencounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressedin Metro Christian Living do not necessarilyrepresent those of the publisher. Every efforthas been made by the Metro Christian Livingstaff to insure accuracy of the publicationcontents. However, we do not guarantee theaccuracy of all information nor the absence oferrors and omissions; hence, no responsibilitycan be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved.Copyright 2008 by Metro Christian Living, Inc.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NewInternational Version, copyright 1973, 1978,1984 by International Bible Society. Used bypermission of International Bible Society.

Metro Christian Living is published monthlyand is available at high traffic locationsthroughout the metropolitan area. Copies arealso available by subscription, $29 for one year.Single issues available for $3 an issue.

POSTMASTER: Send change of address toMetro Christian Living, 573 Highway 51 North,Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157, phone number601-790-9076.

Volume 6, Number 5

contentsOCTOBER 2011

MIPA

Mississippi IndependentPublishers' Alliance

features

24 Maura McIntosh Fields Walking by Faith...and Singing as I Go

columns17 The Way I see it

Big Rocks of Life

19 Modern Motherhood Twaining Wheels

23 Living my Call Barbara Beavers, Executive Director ofCenter for Pregnancy Choices

33 Let’s Get Real Intimacy is NOT for Faint Hearted

35 Family Focus Donna Sims: Special Mom Special Lady

37 HomeWorks De-Stress Dinner Plans

39 Education Connection Does my child have ADHD? (Part I of II)

40 Let’s Talk it Over Coming & Going

41 Legal Advice Do You Have a Will or a Trust?

42 Salt & Light Chris’s Cross Foundation

departments20 Christian Commerce Corner

Senior Transitions

28 Food For Thought Holiday Potpourri Timeless Recipes

30 Money Matters Market Comments

31 Our Daily Bread How do you keep the faith?

32 Fresh Finds Fall Findings

34 Healthy Living Oncology Massage Therapy

36 This is my StoryInheriting Breast CancerMartha & John Hill

44 Rave Reviews Books, movies and music

in every issue10 Editor’s Letter45 Event Calendar46 Quips & Quotes46 Ad Directory

28

What’s Coming Next Month?

33

37

42

Ed and Dana TrimLiving the Word

➺

Sixty-five years! To some it may seem like a significant amount of time. To others it may

seem very brief. But for the Dominican Sisters and their family of caregivers, it is a span of

time filled with challenges, accomplishments and abundant blessings. It all began for the

Dominican Sisters in 1946 when a small group of them arrived by train from Springfield,

Illinois, to Jackson, Mississippi.

Today the mission, values and principles established by those founding sisters are all still

alive and well at St. Dominic’s. It is this combination of clinical excellence and a dedication

to healing the whole person, mind, body and spirit that has set St. Dominic’s apart, and

will continue to do so far into the future.

Visit www.stdom.com/65 to learn more about our history.

St. Dominic’s Celebrates65 Years of Excellence


➺editor’s letter

�Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and [email protected]

Comfort Zones and Impossible Situations

❝ I will instruct you and teachyou the way youshould go; I willcounsel you andwatch over you.

❞– Psalm 32:8

Irecently heard best-selling Christian author Lysa Terkeurst tell the story of her faithjourney. She talked about God’s frequent habit of “interrupting” us in the middle of our ordinarylives to call us—regular people in the middle of our very regular days—to get out of our comfort

zones and do something we absolutely could not do apart from His supreme power doing it through us. My first thoughts go to Abraham, the patriarch of old, who was 75 when God told him to pack up all

of his earthly goods as well as his family and “go to a land I will show you.” If God told me to go toMemphis on Thursday I would probably tell him I already had my Thursday planned and Memphiswas not part of it, but suppose He told me to just start driving north without having any idea where Iwas going. Well, I am even more certain I would decline that invitation. Do you think we miss some ofGod’s greatest potential blessings because we trust ourselves and our plans more than we trust Him?

Maura McIntosh’s story is a little like that. She relinquished her settled and secure day job—withbenefits—to answer God’s persistent call to ministry. She is finding Him to be a true Promise Keeperas her dependence on Him has had to grow her way beyond her human comfort zone!

I can think of times in my life where I was “forced” out of my comfort zone and went “kicking andscreaming” into something so unfamiliar that it was frightening. As a not-always-compliant Christ-follower, it has been my experience that God has often had to lock me out of my comfort zone to getme to cease “leaning on my own understanding” and trust that He really meant it when He said Hewould never leave me or forsake me.

Some of the toughest challenges of life present themselves to us as “impossible situations.” Here atthe sixth decade of my life I am finally catching on to the fact that God is indeed the God of theimpossible. None of us are guaranteed a certain script for our lives, and sometimes even our best laidplans go awry. And in the middle of the very hard thing, God blesses where we could never imaginefinding a blessing.

Donna Sims, President of the Madison County offices of BankPlus, has found being mom to aspecial needs son a cherished privilege. It was the “impossible situation” that took her relationship withGod to a whole new place as He provided strength beyond her strength at every age and stage ofWade’s life. Read her story in “Family Focus.”

Living My Call features Barbara Beavers of the Center for Pregnancy Choices. There was not onething comfortable to this wife, mom and Home Economics major when God interrupted her with anunexpected passion for the unborn and for the woman facing the “impossible situation “ of anunplanned pregnancy. She was propelled straight out of her comfort zone and to the front lines as anadvocate in the Pro-life arena.

The best part of my job is meeting people like the ones we feature this month. I know there arepeople in offices all over the place who go to work every day and feel that their jobs are draining, dull,and negative. I am not one of them. Hearing the stories of so many regular people who are not outthere seeking to fill themselves with whatever the world is peddling next, but who have a deliberateand very intentional faith walk…well, as Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one mansharpens another.” It is true. Thanks for sharing these stories with us. Y

From Marilyn’s Bookshelf

Zoom EntrepreneurBy Gordon MacDonald

MCL’s “As I See It” columnist Martin Willoughby sharesthe five core skills of great entrepreneurs and as youwould expect, there is a lot of heart and soul in Martin’swords. In fact, this book is not just for business. It’s aplaybook for living life. Find out more atwww.zoomyourbusiness.com

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At BankPlus, we are committed to supporting the Mississippi neighborhoods we serve. We’re grateful for what this state has done for us, and it has been our privilege to show that gratitude by investing our time and resources back into our communities. From education, to community development, to children’s health, we’re working side-by-side with you to make our neighborhoods even better places to live, work and grow. After all, isn’t that what neighbors are for? For more information about BankPlus community support, visit BankPlus.net.

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metrochristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2011 15

Holiday PotpourriA First Presbyterian Day School

Fall TraditionFriday, October 21, 2011

At the Home ofKIM & MIKE NICHOLS4203 EASTOVER PLACE�

Featured ArtistLucy MazzaferRo�

Let the light of your face shine upon us.Psalm 4:6


601-936-9190 jhcfw.com291 East Layfair Drive Flowood, MS 39232

Amanda A. Reeves, M.D.Obstetrics and Gynecology

Jackson Healthcare for Women and Woman’s Hospitalwelcome

Dr. Amanda A. Reeves

Join us in welcoming Amanda A. Reeves, M.D., a board-certified obstetrics and gynecology

physician, who is big on academic achievement and even bigger on helping others. After

graduating from Mississippi State University, she earned her medical degree and completed

her internship and residency at the University of Mississippi Medical Center. Her many

honors include the Humanism & Excellence Award to an outstanding resident role model,

Resident All-Star, and the Best Teaching Resident Award. In her spare time, Dr. Reeves

frequently volunteers to serve many worthy causes.

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metrochristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2011 17➺

the way i see itby MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.

Big Rocks of Life

Stephen Covey, bestselling author ofThe 7 Habits of Highly EffectivePeople shares in a impactful YouTube

video about the importance of getting the“Big Rocks” of life straight by using rocks,gravel, and sand to fill a container. What hedemonstrates is that the “Big Rocks” only fit in ifyou put them in first. He uses this metaphor toemphasize the importance of “putting firstthings first.” In an age when we have so manythings competing for our time, this can be a bigchallenge. This skill of prioritization requires anawareness of what we truly value and deemimportant. If we don’t identify these big rocksand prioritize them in our schedules, then they

tend to get pushed to the margins. AsChristians, putting first things first means thatwe keep our eyes and focus on Christ. As itstates in Matthew 6:33, we are to “seek first Hiskingdom and His righteousness...”

I attended a funeral recently of a friend andspiritual mentor of mine, David Dean. It wasprobably the most impactful funeral I have everattended. By worldly standards, he had notnecessarily achieved remarkable things. He wasnever particularly wealthy or successful inbusiness. He never had a huge house or fancycars. He never held elected office or held majorleadership positions. In fact, before he became aChristian, he had been divorced and estrangedfrom his children. However, he sought God withall of his heart and left a huge spiritual legacy.

If I skip my daily quiet time,and I don’t get an angry voicemessage from God, I tend tospin around in circles andhandle all of the urgent but not important things clamoringfor my attention.

As demonstrated by the testimony of his familyand friends, he was a diligent man of faith andan outstanding father, husband, and friend.

For almost thirty years, David would goweekly to prisons to share the Gospel withprisoners and to offer them hope andencouragement. He took serious Jesus’ words inMatthew 25:36 that “I needed clothes and youclothed me, I was sick and you looked after me,I was in prison and you came to visit me.’’Thousands of people came to know Christbecause Dean was a faithful servant and livedout what he read in Scripture. He would oftenget up in the middle of night and spend hoursin prayer. He enjoyed spending uninterruptedtime at the feet of our Father. For years, hewould meet with other believers weekly to prayfor revival, pray for the sick, and pray for thosein need of deliverance. As he lay on hisdeathbed, he had assurance because he hadtruly “put first things first.”

There are many entertaining diversions todistract us from getting the Big Rocks in life onfirst. I find that most of the Big Rocks fall intothe important, but not urgent category. If I skipmy daily quiet time, then I don’t get an angryvoice message or email from God. I tend to spinaround in circles and handle all of the urgentbut not important things clamoring for myattention. As the title of Charles Hummel’s bookstates, there is certainly a Tyranny of theUrgent! However, I am encouraged by faithfulbelievers like Dean who show me what it meansto get the Big Rocks right. I only hope that I cantry and “put first things first” like he did andfinish strong, leaving a legacy of what reallymatters in life and eternity. Y

Martin E. Willoughby, Jr. is ChiefOperating Officer of Butler SnowAdvisory Services, LLC located inRidgeland. He and his wife Nicki havetwo children, Ally and Trey, and live inMadison.


A D V E T U R ENLAO U R NJ

mschildrensmuseum.com

This project is partially funded through a grant from Jackson Convention & Visitors Bureau.

ENTRY 27First stop: the gigantic toilet. (I love the look

on Dad’s face when he hears the flushing sound.)

Then I work the big crane, race sailboats,

pretend I’m an explorer, a Choctaw,

a crop duster. Then, it’s time to go. At least

until tomorrow. MCM is my destination imagination.

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877.793.KIDS (5437)

752 Pear Orchard Rd | Ridgeland, MS 39157www.christcovenantschool.net

601.978.2272

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125 Jones St. • Madison, MS 39110 • 601-853-03035800 Ridgewood Rd., Ste. 103 • Jackson, MS 39211 • 601-957-1711

Visit us on Facebook at Dr. Brown’s SMILES BY DESIGN

Football & Cheering are all well underway—With games or practices nearly everyday!And, October will be especially NEAT....

With The State Fair, Flea Market & Trick or Treat!!October is National Orthodontic Month, as well—

And time to focus on your Oral Health!So, after eating that candy and masking your faces;

Ask your dentist if it's time to see about braces!The ADA says to check between ages seven & eight;

Cause sometimes it's not so good to wait!They'll take some x-rays and send you to Pop—And he'll straighten out whatever you've got!!

><>

Have a Happy Fall! Keep Smiling!!Marcie McDaniel & Kayleigh Sykes

Proverbs 3:5-6

“The American Dental Association recommends that a child see an orthodontist by age seven.”MEMBER OF THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF ORTHODONTISTS


My five-year-old recently decided it wastime to learn how to ride a bike. She toldher Daddy with her hands on her tinyhips, “I want my twaining weews off.”He grabbed a screwdriver and in less thanfive minutes my heart was hammering asmy baby pedaled as fast as she could withmy husband running beside her, one handsteadying the back of her seat. In a matterof seconds she was out of his reach andbarreling towards the side of our house.

“Turn Emma! Turn!” I yelled as shepanicked and tried to jump off her bike whileit was still moving. She tumbled to the ground.

“I’m okay!” She yelled.Fearless, she picked her bike turned it

around and climbed back on, “I want to do itagain, Daddy.” He steadied the seat, gave hera push and off she went. Her start was strongbut after whizzing by for a few yards, she beganheading straight for a huge pecan tree in our sideyard.

“TURN EMMA!” I shouted again. This time she was able to slow down a bit before her fronttire bounced off the tree trunk and she landed on the ground.

“Ouch,” she muttered, untangling her knobby kneed legs from her bike and wiping grass anddirt off of her palms.

“Honey, you have to stop looking at the things you DON’T want to hit and watch where youare going!” I said.

For days she rode like this, flying headlong into trees, bushes, our trampoline andoccasionally a sister or two who happened to be standing in the driveway. Until one afternoonwhen she finally got it. My mother had come to visit and Emma wanted to show her how shecould ride a bike. Her first attempt ended the same way it always had and as my mother pickedher up and helped her right her bicycle she said, “Emma you have to keep your eyes on whereyou want to be!”

While slapping mosquitoes I had an epiphany in my front yard. How often do we focus on thedistractions and obstacles in our path while barreling head first through our lives? Instead ofavoiding these trials, the more we focus on them the more entangled we become until we findourselves spiritually bouncing off of trees and running into shrubs. If we want to live a victoriouslife, we need to focus on Jesus and the promises in God’s Word.

After weeks of wobbling and skinned knees Emma had an epiphany, too. My mother startedher off at one end of the driveway and I stood at the other. She gave Emma a push and yelled,“Look at your Momma! Keep looking at your Momma!” Emma never took her eyes off of mineas she soared through the yard, white blond curls streaming behind her. She squealed on thebrakes right in front of me and hopped off her bike without hitting the ground. “I didn’t fallMomma!” She beamed and my heart was full as I watched my baby reached another milestone.

Now, would somebody mind holding my bike while I climb out of these bushes??? Ps 119: 105-6 (The Message) “By your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam

of light on my dark path. I’ve committed myself and I’ll never turn back from living by yourrighteous order.” Y

Robin O’Bryant is a wife, stay-at-home-mother to three daughters, author, humor columnistand speaker. She thanks God for the days she is successfully able to multi-task. Read her blog atwww.robinschicks.com or contact her via email at [email protected].

Twaining WheelsO! How Cute

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modern motherhoodby ROBIN O’BRYANT


MCL: Tell us a little about the servicesSenior Transitions provides.

Tiffany Grant: Senior Transitions is a fullservice move management service. Wespecialize in assisting senior citizens as they re-size and move into a retirement community. Ifthey chose to stay in their home, “age in place,we advise them of safety and assistive devicesto make their surroundings as safe as possible.David and I approach each client as if theywere our own parents. Relocation for ourclients is just so much more than just a move!

We help clients moving into a smaller livingspace to decide what to take, gift or sell. Thenwe execute the move and distribution of extragoods as best we are able. We can get onepiece of furniture shipped across the countryto a relative or assist with the arrangement ofan estate sale.

Not everyone has need for the “full mealdeal”. We can help a little (just the move) or alot. Some folks have us handle everything fromchange of address to lining their kitchenshelves. I always make sure my client comesinto their new space to see their bed made upawaiting their first night in their new home.

MCL: What is your favorite thing aboutwhat you do?

Tiffany: The people, of course. I meet somany nice people. I hear stories of their lifeand experiences. I love history and I get to askquestions about their experiences. Most of myclients remain dear friends. I have beenblessed with this mission.

MCL: What inspired you to start abusiness of this type?

Tiffany: Frankly, I have wanted to workwith senior citizens for quite awhile andprayed for direction. I also wanted a business

my husband and I could do together. Mycousin told me about senior movemanagement, and I investigated the businessconcept. I discovered the National Associationof Senior Move Managers, joined and here weare enjoying a business that is extremelyrewarding.

MCL: What role does your faith play inthe mission of Senior Transitions?

Tiffany: I am a life-long Episcopalian. Ibelieve we are here to serve and rejoice ineveryday as a gift from God. With business,we simply follow the Golden Rule and treatclients as we would wish to be treated. Davidand I listen to their needs and treat them withthe dignity they have earned and deserve.

MCL: Some experts say husbands andwives should not work together. Whatis it like for you?

Tiffany: Well that is a challenge. David andI often look at things from very differentperspectives, but that is also a good element.It allows us to bounce ideas off one anotherand serve our clients better and better.

MCL: Is there anything you would liketo add?

Tiffany: “When a door closes, a windowopens” is so true. Sometimes you pray andwait to see that opening, but believe me, it isthere. Prayers are answered every day. Thisbusiness is now my mission to serve my elders.After a long day of moving, unpacking andeven making a bed, I can return home, feedmy pets and horses and enjoy a deliciousexhaustion…until the next morning when itstarts again! Y

SeniorTransitions

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New location inJackson, next to Office Depot inside the CountyLine Plaza Shopping

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October Is Pastor Appreciation Month!

Join Us for Fall Fiction Days on OCT. 21-22!$5 & $10 Christian Fiction. While supplies Last. Call store for more details.

December 8, 9 10

5 pm 8 pm

Mississippi Museum of Natural Science, Jackson$1.00 Admission ($5 max per family)

Enjoy an old-fashioned Christmas by strolling through a path of twinkling lights while sipping hot apple cider, listening to Christmas carols performed by local choirs and orchestras, and watching the mystery of the nativity enacted live.

Experience a “snow shower” of Blisslights™, a new lighting effect unlike ever seen before! Take your photo with Santa, ride the train, mail that all-important letter to the North Pole, and listen to Christmas stories.

This family-friendly event is an enchanting evening for all ages. For more information, visit www.parents-kids.com or call Parents & Kids Magazine at 601-366-0901.

Call Cabot Lodge at 800-874-4737 and mention the Parents & Kids Magazine Christmas Fest to receive a special rate.

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The Center for Pregnancy Choicesannual fund-raiser will take anew twist this year. Rather than

the usual dinner, they hope to pack theworship center at Broadmoor Baptist Church for

an evening with Ryan Dobson, son of James Dobson, founder ofFocus on the Family. He has a dramatic personal story to tell as hespeaks to the moral relativism of today’s society.

Metro Christian Living recently spent an afternoon with BarbaraBeavers, Executive Director for the CPC and learned much aboutwhy she does what she does.

Barbara Beavers had no aspirations to be the executive director ofanything—certainly not a non-profit where funds are tight, staff is lean, andthe needs are enormous. With college degrees in Home Economics andEducation for the Blind and Visually Impaired, she planned to do a littleschool teaching and raise her family.

A graduate of Ohio State University, she moved to Mississippi in 1981with her husband Jerry and their first baby girl. Jerry, also a schoolteacherand part time pastor, began taking some classes at Reformed TheologicalSeminary (RTS). He became involved in Pro-life issues and often stoodsilently outside local abortion clinics holding a sign. Barbara was busy beinga mother and as sad as she thought abortion was, becoming an advocate forthe unborn was not on her radar.

Everything changed the day she went along to the abortion clinic withher husband. She says, “I guess I had a pre-conceived idea of what aperson who gets an abortion looks like, but I was wrong. The young collegegirls heading up the steps to the clinic looked like me! There but for God’sgrace I was one of them!”

Any slight apathy Barbara may have had was replaced by a heartrendingcompassion. She was the one following the young girls up the sidewalkbegging them to come home with her and allow her to take care of them.From that moment on, she was on the front line of the Pro-Life cause.

The Center for Pregnancy Choices (under the name Crisis PregnancyCenter) opened its doors in 1990, a fledgling ministry organized by thosesame RTS Pro-lifers. Barbara was a volunteer and a board member andtook over as interim director in 1992 planning to be there a few shortweeks until a “real” director could be found. She is completing hernineteenth year and is more passionate for the cause today than ever.

Over time she has seen many changes in clientele, in prevailingattitudes in the culture, in perception of the issues surrounding babies outof wedlock, adoption, and the available options for women facingunplanned pregnancy.

Decades ago when girls became pregnant out of wedlock, there wassuch a shameful stigma attached. They were usually sent away to give birthand place their babies for adoption. Barbara explains that times havechanged. “Today, when there is more acceptance in our society, it is aprevailing attitude that once you show, you are planning to keep the baby.Most girls do not see adoption as a viable alternative. Many see adoption asshirking responsibility or being a bad mother.” They consider putting ababy up for adoption to be worse than having an abortion because theyhave been convinced that “it’s really not a baby yet, so I am not a motheryet.” Such changes in attitude made it easy to choose the words“Generation to generation” as part of the new logo CPC recently adopted.Barbara and her board feel an urgency to expose the myth that abortion

doesn’t really hurt anyone and to pass the torch, so to speak, to the nextgeneration of pro-lifers.

The CPC served close to 1800 girls in 2010. The typical client isusually not the poor among us. She is the person in the middle, who istrying to improve her lot in life. She has plans and dreams and this babythreatens to undo all of that. She comes in for a free pregnancy test. If itis positive, she is scheduled for a sonogram in a few weeks. The supportservices at CPC include compassionate client advocates who arecommitted to walking through this journey with their girls. SupportServices fills needs like maternity clothing, baby clothing, referrals tocommunity resources and agencies, an array of classes for first timemoms and a 24 hour helpline.

Presently, there are two CPC’s in the metro area. There are only threefull-time staff members, five part-time including two nurses. God hasbeen faithful in supplying incredible volunteers Barbara says. There is aneed for many more as they have such a need for mentors to stand in thegap for these young moms.

“I’m not a single issue candidate kind of person,” Barbara says, her eyesbrimming. “But I’m here because I really believe this is where the Lordput me. I’ve got a testimony, and it’s this. It could have been me.”

For more information or to register for the evening with Ryan Dobson,go to www.cpcjacksonms.org or call 601 713 3133. See alsowww.mypregnancychoices.org. Y

Barbara BeaversExecutive Director of Center for Pregnancy Choices

➺living my callby MARILYN TINNIN

aura McIntosh Fieldsthought she had faced the

hardest challenges of herlife a long time ago. She had

dealt with the sudden death ofher first true love; she had survived a divorce asthe daughter of a high profile and much lovedUnited Methodist minister; she had battled atough period of severe depression and she hadcome out the other side with the resilience allbelievers hope would be theirs in the face oflife’s challenges. Her life had finally settled intoa predictable and safe routine. She adored herjob as the public school music teacher atPontotoc’s elementary school. It was puredelight and an opportunity to fill her days withtwo of her favorite priorities—music andchildren. She wrote many of the songs thestudents performed over the years, makingthem laugh as well as causing them to thinkdeeply about values like love for country whilemixing in a wealth of music appreciation. Oneof Maura’s favorite sayings had a prominentdisplay in her classroom: “All Rock or all Bachmakes Jack a dull boy.” Students emerged fromMaura’s classes literate in music history—fromBach to Elvis, the Beatles and beyond. She wasone of those teachers who touched lives andmade a difference. The love of Christ kind ofoozes forth from everything she does.

Then God began to stir the waters of hersettled life. Was she hearing Him correctly?She was sure God was nudging her to step outof her comfort zone and launch herself fulltimeinto singing for Him. She had long doneweekend concerts, retreats, and conferences.She had several recordings out there that hadbrought her some recognition and success. Butstill, there was no logic behind a decision to

Maura McInWalking by Fa

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from God. Nobody cheered. The silence andthe blank looks said it all.

Her parents, David and Rosemary McIntoshadmit that when their only daughter made herannouncement, they had mixed emotions,ranging from “scared to death” to “It was amistake,” to “What are you thinking?” In theend it was Maura’s statement that, “I am onlydoing what you taught me to do…” thatbrought to mind all the times in their ownjourney God had called on them to do thingsthat seemed so void of reason, total leaps offaith on their part, and how very blessed theyhad been for being willing to walk by faith andnot by sight on more than one occasion.

Still, it was hard when it involved theirdaughter. Today, two years down the road, theirfaith has been encouraged by seeing how Godhas blessed Maura’s leap of faith. It is alsoencouraging as well as humbling to see thattheir faith was also deeply and personallyMaura’s as well.

In the BeginningGrowing up as a “preacher’s kid” was never

an albatross for Maura. This was a close-knitfamily who enjoyed life, shared a love formusic, and a great sense of loyalty to eachother. They also had a lot of fun together. Asthe middle child, Maura confesses to beingsomewhat a “tom-boy” but she was equallymusical. Her dad had been an outstandingathlete, a member of the MS Sports Hall ofFame, a Millsaps stand out who had turneddown a professional contract with the LosAngeles Rams in order to attend seminary. Healso sings. Her mom, Rosemary plays piano andsings, as do her brothers, David and Mark.There was always music in the McIntosh

by MARILYN TINNIN

ntosh Fieldsaith…and Singing as I Go

leave her steady job with a secure retirementand believe that she could financially make it.For every argument she had for God duringHis relentless pursuit, He seemed to remindher of a scripture or what she professed tobelieve about Him and the strangest affirmingcoincidences began to occur everywhere sheturned. After months of wrestling with Godand feeling very hounded, she uttered her finalprayer of protest one night, spelled out herfears, and said, “Ok, God. I’ll do what you sayand trust you to take care of me.” She sleptbetter that night in the face of all the unknownthan she had slept in all the previous monthssince God first introduced this preposterousidea.

The very next morning she began to mullover the challenges ahead and consider thetiming and the way in which she wouldannounce this radical career change. There wasno turning back. “Trust in the Lord with allthine heart and lean not on thine ownunderstanding. In all thy ways, acknowledgeHim and He will direct thy paths.” (Proverbs3:5,6). Maura clung to that scripture.. She wasgoing to believe that the same God who hadled the patriarchs of old to do bold things wasthe same God who was leading her in the hereand now.

It was Thanksgiving, 2009 when theMcIntosh clan gathered in Jackson. Maura toldthe family just before lunch that at the end ofthe school year, she would retire from teachingand begin to sing fulltime because God wascalling her in a new direction and although shewasn’t sure how it was all going to work out,she had no doubt that she was acting inobedience to Him. She laughs that her familydid not seem to have gotten the same memo

MAURA’S RECORDINGS

Live for YouWhen I Remember YouBecause of the WalkNo More Couch Potatoes

“The songs you will hear are a big part ofme—written from experiences of great joyand deep pain. They tell of answeredprayers – some in the ways I’d hoped forand some in ways I didn’t understand at thattime. There are songs about the love offriends, shaing life, holding each other upwhen needed and ‘being Christ’ to eachother. You’ll hear my questions of ‘why?’ andmy discovery of the peace of just trustingGod’s plan.” See MauraMcIntosh.com

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26 OCTOBER 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living26 OCTOBER 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

household just as there was always interest infollowing sports.

The difficult thing about being a Methodistpreacher’s kid is the Methodist Conferenceshuffles pastors around and a very settledhappy child can find his world turned upsidedown unexpectedly as Dad gets called to a newpulpit. Such was the worst and the best thingthat happened to young Maura during her highschool career.

When her dad accepted a call to CentralUnited Methodist Church in Meridian, Maurawas entering tenth grade. This was a difficulttime to leave behind friends to enter anunfamiliar environment. She was not happyand made it abundantly clear in a very “passiveaggressive” sort of way. Her tactic was to gointo her room, close the door, come out only toeat and to obediently attend church. The restof the time she and her guitar wereinseparable. This was the summer she taughtherself to play the guitar. It was also thesummer she poured her passion into writingsongs and discovered she was rather good at it.

After a summer of mostly sulking alone inher room, Maura was confronted by her dad,who asked a typical “McIntosh question.” Itwas a family tradition for the McIntosh kids tobe asked “What is the good that has come fromthis situation?” It was his way to teach them theconcrete reality of Romans 8:28 “And we knowthat all things work together for good for thosewho love God and are called according to His

purpose.” Their father was simply teachingthem to view all things through the lens ofGod.

Maura did not hesitate. “I’ve learned to playthis guitar,” she said. And oh how she had!

Being the “girl who wrote songs and playedguitar” forged her identity in her new school.She found herself being invited to sing on suchvenues as the state Junior Miss pageant held inMeridian. That was huge in those days and washer first real adventure of putting herselfcompletely outside her comfort zone. But shethrived and grew and learned to take greaterrisks! Her song-writing flourished and therewas nothing in it in those days that had a thingto do with God’s words or sacred themes.

Detours and College LessonsWithout a lot of soul searching or deep

thought, Maura enrolled at Millsaps and choseVocal Music as her major. Being a “people”person, she quickly connected with everyavenue of musical expression on campus. Shejoined the choir. She was selected as one of thevery elite “Troubadours,” the small group whoperformed pop music and traveled abroad toperform. Maura poured herself into collegelife.

It was then she began to examine her faith.

For the first time she was away from the dailyinfluence of her parents and a slightly shelteredlife. This was the era of Vietnam and protestsand the bedrock of Christian faith waschallenged on college campuses almosteverywhere. She realized that although sheknew a lot about Jesus - he was more a “friendof the family” than her personal friend. Ofcourse, she immediately wrote a song with thattitle!.

Her journals during that period recount herstruggles although outwardly Maura appearedto be the happy-go-lucky girl who waseverybody’s friend, who enjoyed the parties, thesocial life, and much that was not particularlyserious. She realized she had to find a personal

faith and she could not simply ride thecoattails of her family anymore. Buthow would that happen?

Maura’s high school sweetheartplanned to attend Millsaps also, but hetook a year off after high school to serveas part of a mission team to Finland.That year, his letters revealed a gradualtransformation in his faith. He seemedto be dealing with some of the samequestions Maura had, but he wasgrowing closer to Christ by leaps andbounds and there was nothinglukewarm in his new found personalfaith. Part of Maura was devastated ashe told her they both needed to get

their relationship with Christ firmly rootedbefore they moved forward in their relationshipwith each other.

Maura knew he was right, but she wasslightly floundering in her willingness to let goand commit her life completely to Christ. Shecontinued to struggle. When the young mancame back to Millsaps in her sophomore year,he joined the choir and they were throwntogether a lot. It was not until the spring thatthey had a deep conversation and she thoughtshe was ready to commit her entire being towhatever path the Lord would call her. Itlooked like they would be moving forward as apair. He was killed in an automobile accidenton the way back to Jackson following one of thechoir’s last concerts of the year, and Maura’stotal commitment to Christ was interrupted asshe dealt with the grief.

Maura says, however, that “God used thattime so deeply in my life—the questioning‘why’ was a good thing.” There was never amoment that she could dismiss God or think,“I’ll think about that question tomorrow.” Shewas constantly seeking God because she wasconstantly trying to find comfort and somethingthat made sense in all of this.

It is noteworthy that her dad asked her the“McIntosh question” almost immediately. Hesaid, “It may be a long time before you can find

Top: Maura’s signature smile; right top:Maura and son Zach Fields; bottom right:Maura began performing in high school.


anything good in this, but start looking becausethere will be something good that will comefrom this.”

Maybe it was that Maura kept seeking God,kept questioning and kept wanting to make thatfaith of her family’s her own. She was neverbitter or blaming toward God. She knew withher head that everything her parents hadtaught her about God was true, but what shelonged for was the relationship, the intimacy,that they seemed to have with Him that she didnot.

A Brutal ConversionThere was a Millsaps student who seemed

to cross Maura’s path often. Her name wasLucy. She was not part of the group Mauraassociated with but she was someone whocaught Maura’s attention. Looking back shesays, “It was as though the Holy Spirit kepttelling me to pay attention” and she did. Lucyseemed to show up at the same socialfunctions, in the same classes, in the dorm, onthe weekend…everywhere. And Maura wasdrawn to her because she had a steadinessabout herself, a constant something that waslike joy…not fake but just deep. Since theydidn’t travel in the same group, Maura did notreally know her but there was a part of her thatthought she would like to know her. Sheobviously had some component to her life thatMaura wanted to have, too.

At the end of the 1975 school year, a big

group decided to rent two cabins at the beach.Maura describes the group as “two smallgroups within a larger group.” Although theywere all “friends,” there were the “Bible Study”girls and the “Hanging out fun girls.” Maurawas part of the second group.

They arrived in Destin and headed down tothe beach. The day was perfect…at first. Butthere was a sudden weather change and theundertows became severe. Maura was caughtin one that took her out farther than she

wanted to go and would not let her swim backin. She was dragged down, would come up forair and find herself carried farther and fartherout. Fighting against the tide, she grew so tiredand finally went under for what she was surewas the last time. She passed out, and her limpbody washed up on the beach. When she cameto, she opened her eyes to see Lucy standingover her.

The Lord had definitely gotten Maura’sattention.

When the group came back to Jackson a fewdays later, the Billy Graham Crusade wasunderway at Jackson Memorial Stadium. Lucyinvited Maura to go with her on Saturdaynight.

Maura says, “I made a decision that night.”All the events of recent months and years hadbrought her to this point. She was ready to takehold of HER faith. It was now personal and notjust something she took lightly because herparents had told her she “ought” to do this.

Happy EndingsThe Sunday morning after the Billy Graham

event, Maura sat in the choir at Christ UnitedMethodist in Jackson. Her dad was preachingand every word seemed to be just for her.Principles she had heard her entire life madesense in a way they never had. And at the closeof the service, as he issued the invitation foranyone who wanted to commit their lives toChrist—either for the first time or in

rededication—Maura went forward.A tremendous angst had been

lifted. All of the searching andquestioning was replaced by a newpeace and a sense that sheunderstood that illusive term she hadheard all of her life—“personalrelationship with Jesus Christ.” Andshe knew it was for keeps.

Maura went back to campus thatafternoon, sought out Lucy and toldher that she had had a profoundinfluence on her during the past year,that in all of her months of seekingshe had been quite aware of Lucy’sconsistent way of living the gospelright before her eyes. Lucy hadabsolutely no idea that God was using

her in such a way to touch Maura. “It’s notalways what we say,” Maura says, “but how welive it out that touches others.”

Maura had decided to go one extra year ofschool to get her teaching certificate, and so inthat year, as she continued to be invited to singhere and there, she added something new toher concerts. She was singing for Jesus, not justherself. Her songwriting frequentlyincorporated some of the old hymns into neworiginal works in the uniquely “Maura” style

which is a mix of Anne Murray, Joni Mitchell,Carole King and James Taylor.

She was still performing her love songs, butas she tried out her new material as well, shefound that she had the ear of many who hadknown her before she began to sing for theLord, and she received many a note from those,who, like her, were seeking something authenticthey had yet to discover. She still has a stack ofnotes from friends during that time whothanked her for causing them to think. Itseemed she was now being used just as Lucyhad been used in her life.

She is a veteran performer whose rich soundand poignant lyrics can move the listener todeep worship. She also has quite a sense ofhumor and can pull off one of her “silly” songsfor kids that leave the whole audience inlaughter.

There is a sparkle in her blue eyes when shespeaks about this new unsettled life where sheis doing house concerts, church concerts,conferences and retreats. “Doors keep opening.It is fun to watch God work.” She admits it iskind of a “hand-to-mouth-day-by-day”existence, but God keeps coming through andMaura keeps singing. He opens the doors andshe walks through them. And people’s heartsget changed.

Invite her your way. You will be so glad youdid. Y

David, David, Jr., Rosemary, Mark and Maura McIntosh.

Maura’s children’s concerts are always a hit.

➺food for thoughtby LYDIA BOLEN


Holiday Potpourri

SAUSAGE CHEESE TARTLETS

1 pound cooked mild sausage, crumbled and drained

1 2/3 cups grated sharp Cheddar cheese1 1/2 cup grated Monterey Jack cheese

1 envelope ranch dressing mix1 (2.5 ounce) can chopped black olives

1/2 cup finely chopped red bell pepperDash of Tabasco sauce

4 packages Fillo cups (Athens brand sold in freezer section-15 in each box)

For filling, combine sausage, cheeses,dressing mix, olives, bell pepper and Tabascoin a large bowl and mix well. Place 1 heapingteaspoon of filling in each cup and bake at350 degrees for 10 minutes. Filling can beprepared in advance and refrigerated orfrozen. Bring to room temperature beforeusing. Keep Fillo cups frozen until ready touse.

BUTTER PECAN FUDGE

1 stick unsalted butter1/2 cup granulated sugar1/2 cup dark brown sugar1/2 cup heavy whipping cream1/3 cup light corn syrup1/8 teaspoon vanilla

2 cups powdered sugar1 cup pecan halves, toasted

and coarsely chopped

Butter an 8 inch by 8 inch and set aside. In aheavy saucepan,combine butter, granulatedsugar, brown sugar, whipping cream and cornsyrup. Bring to a boil over medium heat;stirring occasionally. Boil for 5 minutes, stirringconstantly. Remove from heat; stir in vanilla.Add powdered sugar and stir vigorously untilsmooth. Fold in pecans. Spread mixture intobuttered dish and cool to room temperature. Cut into 1 inch squares. Store in an airtightcontainer.

October is my favorite time of the year. I look forward to seasonal changes in theweather, as well as preparing dishes that signify that Fall is coming!! All three of my childrenattended First Presbyterian Day School. The school’s fall Fundraiser each year is called Holiday

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to dothe will of Him that sent me, andto finish His work.”

– John 4:34

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Timeless Recipes

Remember to make memories through the kitchen... “the heartbeat of the home”. Youcan go to my blog at www.lydiasapron.blogspot.com for more of my favorite recipes.Email me at [email protected] for any questions. Have fun with your little ones inthe kitchen teaching them to cook; a valuable life skill!

BLACK BEAN SOUP

1 small onion, chopped2 tablespoons olive oil2 garlic cloves, minced3 cups chicken broth3 cans black beans, rinsed and

drained1 can of Rotel tomatoes1 pound shredded BBQ pork2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

Sauté onion in oil in Dutch oven until tender;stir in garlic and sauté 1 minute. Stir in broth,beans, and tomatoes; reduce heat andsimmer 15 minutes, stirring often. Process 1cup bean mixture in food processor untilsmooth; return puree to Dutch oven. Addpork and simmer 10 minutes. Stir in vinegar.

RASPBERRY SPINACH SALAD

4 cups fresh baby spinach, torn (1 bag)4 green onions, chopped1/2 cup pecans, chopped6 ounces frozen raspberries4 ounces feta cheese, crumbledDRESSING:1/4 cup canola oil1/3 cup raspberry vinegar3 tablespoons raspberry All Fruit1/4 cup sugar

Combine spinach, green onions, pecans,raspberries, and feta cheese; cover and chill.Combine dressing ingredients and chill.Pourdressing over salad and serve immediately.

This year’s Holiday Potpourri is October21th. It will be held at the home of Kim andMike Nicols at 4203 Eastover Place. Call FirstPresbyterian School for tickets. Remember tomake memories in the kitchen, “the heartbeatof the home.” Visit www.lydiasapron.blogspot.com for more of my recipes and emailme at [email protected] for any questions.

Y

Potpourri. I have fond memories of many years cooking for this event. A friend gave me the boundcollection of recipes from Holiday Potpourri from years 1998-2010. I want to share a sampling ofmy favorites from this collection. Enjoy!


➺money mattersby ROGER DAVIS

MARKETCOMMENTSWe spend a fair amount of

time discussing our corebeliefs about successful

investing. Our clients know that we valuetrends and believe it is very difficult to makemoney in securities when a negative trend existsin the market in which the security trades. Wealso spend time discussing the most popularand widely adhered to investment discipline,asset allocation/buy and hold. It’s no secret thatwe aren’t big fans of this strategy.

There are other investment disciplines thatwe don’t typically talk about but are fairly wellknown in the high net worth investmentcommunities. These are strategies like EventDriven, Statistical Arbitration, Market Neutral,Special Situations, and the one I’d like todiscuss today, Macro Economic Investing.

Most Macro managers scour global marketsin search of opportunities created by big pictureeconomic and geo political trends. A macrofund management company starts with thequestion, “what is going on in the world andwhat predominant global themes will exist inthe near, intermediate and long–term?” Basedon that world view, the management team willdevelop an investment thesis that says basically,“These are the opportunities that exist and webelieve we can profit from them by investingx% in European equities, y% short USTreasuries, z% long Denmark’s currency and soforth”.

To be successful, the macro fund manager

needs to be right about what’s going on. In otherwords; he must be correct in his belief that, forexample, OPEC is going to diminish the supplyof oil. Not only this, but the manager must beright about how markets will respond to thisbelief bearing itself out. If OPEC does decreaseoil production then oil prices will go up. Thiswill cause transportation stocks to performpoorly due to increased fuel prices. You get thepicture. If transportation stocks go up while themacro manager is short, it does him very littlegood that he was “right.”

The difficulty, as many Macro managers areexperiencing, is that markets don’t necessarily“do” what you expect them to, even though theyhave done so many times in the past. Throughthe end of the 2nd quarter, the HFRX MacroIndex is down 2.2%. For the last 12 months thatindex is up 6.9%. By comparison, the SP500 isup 5% and 20% respectively.

Now here’s where it gets interesting. Hedgefund investors are supposed to be verysophisticated, right? Well, a look at theirbehavior in the last year reveals that they areprone to chasing performance just like theinvesting public at large. During Q1 2010, 7% ofevery dollar invested in hedge funds went intoMacro funds. In Q1 2011, more than 33% of allhedge fund dollars invested went into Macro

funds, just in time for big timeunderperformance. To me, that’s worthknowing.

The need to be right can create problems.Relationship counselors will often ask thefollowing question of an unhappy husband orwife, “Would you rather be right or happy”? Towhich I might respond, “I’m happy when I’mright”! But, we know that’s not exactly true,don’t we. The need to be right, at any cost, canand will wreck a marriage, a businessrelationship or a father son relationship. Beingright, in the final analysis, just doesn’t matter.The result is what matters. If I’m right but alonein life, what have I accomplished?

Unlike me, macro managers really do needto be right…about a lot of things. They need tobe right about what’s happening or what’s aboutto happen. But, more importantly, they need tobe right about the way markets will react if theyare indeed, right. Managing money successfullyrequires that you make money. Moneymanagers don’t get paid to be right; we get paidto make people money. Y

Roger Davis is a Partner at WoodridgeCapital and can be reached [email protected]

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➺our daily breadby SUSAN DEAVER

This column is for sharing our faith with other readers. Sharing withand serving others changes us and reminds us that our time on earth

is about much more than our own needs. To share your story or favoritescripture, please e-mail us at [email protected].

Cindy SephtonFour years ago I was faced with the scariest and most difficult

season of my life. The dreaded EMPTY NEST. Two questions wereconstantly on my lips, “How did it happen so fast?” and “What will Ido now?” I look back now and see God’s

hand during this time. A phone call

changed everything,when I was asked tolead a Bible study foryoung career women.The criteria for the newstudy affirmed this asmy answer for my newseason. They wantedto know more aboutGod—and we are stilllearning together.

We haveexperienced manyseasons - the warmthand harvest in fruitful

seasons, and also the coldness of the barren times.Through it all we have learned more about Him and are beginning tounderstand it is possible to praise Him through all of life’s seasons.Seasons are necessary for growth, new directions and our faith to haveopportunities to be proven true.

New seasons bring new blessings - “my girls”, the sweetestrelationship with my son, and the additional blessing of my precious

“Be devoted to one another inbrotherly love. Honor one anotherabove yourselves.” – Romans 12:10

daughter-in-law, were all products of my “feared” season.So I have learned that seasons are necessary but there is one

constant - God. He has been there in all of my seasons. Also, His planfor me has been consistent too - Love Him first and love others likeHe does. Invest in lives, be available and vulnerable, and never forgetHis last words to His disciples (of which I am one): “I am with youalways to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity underheaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Cindy and Danny Sephton live in Brandon and have been marriedfor 33 years. They are members of First Baptist Church of Brandonand have a son and daughter-in-law, Kyle and Whitney Sephton. Y

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Fall Findings


➺let’s get realby JANIE PILLOW

Intimacy is NOT for Faint Hearted

The relationship that exists in the trinity is a perfectrelationship. Being created in the “image of God,” means manwas created for relationship and intimacy. Think of how

amazing God is. He is three people yet one in essence. In one of thecouncils in about 200 BC, when people in a polytheistic world were tryingto understand how God could be three people yet one God: That God wasthree people in one, “without mixture, without confusion, each personretaining his own personhood.”

Thus in marriage it is important that each person retain his/her ownpersonhood preventing mixture and confusion. I once saw a preacher take acutout of a man and tear it into two pieces. Then, he fit it back togetherand said that is how husband and wife fit together in marriage. So manypeople have that idea. But with God, 1+1+1=1. So with husband and wife itis not 1/2 + 1/2 =1. That is no mystery, it is just good math.

I define intimacy as treating another person in such a way that they feelknown, understood, and cared about. They do not feel the need to hide ordefend. Notice I did not say you agree with them, but you are willing tolisten to them from their perspective until you actually understand whythey think or feel the way they do. What a relief to the other person it is,when you finally say, “I get it.”

Many do not understand intimacy because they have never experiencedit, and are frightened by it. They are afraid of shedding all their defenses,personas, camouflages and all other methods of keeping at a distance. Somany people live with idea that if people really knew me, especially spouseor good friend, that they would not like me.

A relationship with God and another person is one of man’s chieflongings in his life. We all need to be seen by another, with all ourblemishes and frailties without competition, the need to hurt or maintainpower. This promotes growth and more openness on the part of bothparties, the one needing understanding and the one trying to understand. Ifthey don’t truly know us, then way down deep it is really hard to feel thatthey love “US” rather than the image of us that we allow them to see.

Christ in the garden just before his crucifixion is the greatest example ofsuch vulnerability and intimacy. From the beginning of time thru the end oftime Christ and his Father had an agreement. Christ would die for hispeople. But when the midnight hour came, Christ had so much confidencein his Father’s love and understanding, he said, “Can’t we do this anotherway?” I can imagine the loving interchange between the Father and his sonthat so encouraged Christ that it says in the book of Hebrews, “that for thejoy set before Him, he suffered the cross and endured the pain.”

For this to be Christ’s attitude, I doubt that God shame him or remindhim of their agreement or scolded him into obedience. I believe that theFather so encouraged Christ by his love that he was filled up and ready totake on the cross and sins of the whole world.

Intimacy is a two way street. We must be willing to be misunderstood

and/or willing to believe that we misunderstood the other. In a closerelationship, because it involves trust, we are certain to get let down andthe other person gets hurt. But, intimacy includes the ability to explain in acaring way, why we may do something that maybe hurtful to somebody. Ionce read intimacy is an emotional experience that allows two (or more)people to feel cared for and cared about by the other(s). It is trueconnection. It is a growth-producing, self esteem-building process.

Having someone there for us is one of humanity’s deepest longings. Wecan face almost anything, as long as we do not have to face it alone. TheBible never speaks of saint, but always saints. Jesus sent his disciples out inpairs.

How do we achieve such connection with another person? First step,learning to get one’s needs met without sacrificing our dignity or thedignity of the other person. This means we have to come to greaterconnection with our own feelings frailties and sense of being. Often this isdone in an interchange with another person. We get to know ourselves inrelationship.

I often tell my clients, “There is no such thing as safe vulnerability.” Butto grow as a person and in relationships, we must learn how to bevulnerable and sit with the tension that flows out of the context of deeprelationships. This fosters growth in us. We come to feel in greaterconnection with our own inner experience. And then this inner experienceconnects with another person. We have to know what is going on inside ofus in order to relate to someone else. Another way to say that is this is trueempathy. Not sympathy, which can involve feeling sorry for the otherperson. Empathy is a deep understanding of how it feels to be the otherperson.

From the fall man was disconnected with himself, God and others.Thankfully there is a way out of this isolation. It is learning to connect onthe deepest levels, both vertical to God and horizontally to man. I call it“growth through connection.”

We have to learn how to phrase things (John Gottman calls this “softstartup) in ways that do not immediately put the other person on thedefensive. This defensiveness is the opposite of intimacy. Soft startupmakes the other person want to draw near, not run away or shut down.This is the beginning of intimacy. There will be more tools in articles tocome.

For now, ponder how hard it is to achieve such intimacy in an age whenpeople have IPod earplugs in one hand and a cell phone in the other! Y

Janie Pillow is in private practice at Janie Pillow Counseling (601-853-4788) She is also Co-founder of Third Millennium Ministriesand has served since its inception as Chairman of the Board. (Seewww.ThirdMill.Org. “Seminary Education for the World forFree.”)


➺healthy living

Dealing with the side effects of cancertreatment is one of many challenges onefaces during a cancer journey. Great strides have

been made in in recent years in cancer care, and some of the mostdreaded procedures do not have to carry the same discomforts theydid a decade ago. Enhanced healing remedies have been discoveredthat contribute greatly to improved quality of life for the patient. Oneof these antidotes is oncology massage.

Oncology massage therapy can help with common chemotherapyreactions like nausea, diarrhea, and constipation, lack of appetite,insomnia, exhaustion, low blood counts, and general pain. Thismassage by a trained therapist is tailored to the need of the patient anddiffers from a massage you might receive in a regular spa.

A detailed work-up will include information about the kind ofcancer you have (or had), your treatment history, your currenttreatment, any side-effects or symptoms you are experiencing and anylymph node involvement you might have. Any area of the body thathas compromised lymph nodes is given special treatment especially

formulated to ‘do no harm’ and to alleviate any lymphedema.Acupressure is used to address symptoms specific to you at thatparticular time. These massage treatments are modified according tothe full spectrum of cancer-related issues: the physical, psycho-social,and emotional consequences of cancer.

Karon Stuart, oncology massage therapist ofThe Spa at St. Dominic is trained to meetpeople where they are in their experience withcancer and apply a highly individualizedmassage that comforts, nurtures and supportsthem in their process. With 400 hours ofextensive training for oncology massage, she hashad ample opportunity to observe just aboutevery side effect of cancer treatment and findsgreat satisfaction in helping her patients findrelief and an over-all sense of calm well-beingrather than anxiety and stress over their illness.

Research indicates that oncology massage can help boost theimmune system, strengthen compromised body organs and systems,build up blood counts, and lessen depression. Karon, who has a strongChristian faith, finds her own faith strengthened when she applies that“healing touch” to her patients. The fact of human touch

communicates and helps ease anxiety. But by the time the massage isover she can feel a difference in the flow of blood to an area she hasworked. It is stunning to think that the God who created the wondersof the human body also created a desire within us to minister toothers. For Karon, she considers it a high privilege every day.

The Spa at St. Dominic’s is opened Monday, Wednesday, andFriday from 8:30 – 5:00 and on Tuesday and Thursday from 8:30 –8:30. Karon is available by appointment at other times as well. E-mailher at [email protected] or contact the spa at 601 200 5961 Y

ONCOLOGYMassage Therapy

Oncology massage therapy can help withcommon chemotherapy reactions like nausea,diarrhea, constipation, loss of appetite, insomnia,exhaustion, low blood counts and general pain.

Fielding Leaders


➺family focusby MARILYN TINNIN

Donna Sims, President of the Madison County offices ofBankPlus oversees the day to day operations ofBankPlus’ in Madison, Ridgeland, Canton, Gluckstadt,

and Nissan. But Donna is also well known for her passionatecommunity involvement. From the United Way to the board of St.Dominic Hospital to the board of Ms Special Olympics, WillowoodDevelopmental Center and many more organizations, Donna’s leadershipskills are a sought after commodity. Many consider her the original“Wonder Woman!”

Donna and husband Brian are also devoted parents to 22 year oldWade with “special needs.” And it is in that role as Wade’s mom thatDonna shines brightest.

A routine sonogram during Donna’s sixth month of an otherwisenormal pregnancy revealed an abnormality around the brain, but it washard to know exactly what that meant at first. For the next three monthsthe Sims lived with great anxiety while trying to save face before friendsand family.

The correct term is Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum, which Donnaexplains is the very same disability that plagued Kim Peek, the inspirationfor Dustin Hoffman’s Rain Man. In laymen’s terms, this means that thestructure that joins the two hemispheres of one’s brain permitting eachside to communicate with the other is absent. It is a rare conditionaffecting its victims in very different ways and to different degrees. Thereis much more information available today than there was in 1988 whenWade was born. In those days the Sims went from doctor to doctorlooking for resources, help, advice…anything.

As an infant Wade’s challenges seemed to be entirely physical. Hisimmune system was very poor and he was constantly sick. He was soweak and his muscle coordination so poor that he could not suckadequately. Hence, he was forever hungry. He also had an abundance ofdigestive difficulties and frequently threw up everything within a fewminutes of finally completing a long and tedious feeding.

As a brand new mother, the entire terrain was new, but to add in avery sick baby was beyond overwhelming. The doctors diagnosed Wadewith “failure to thrive,” but they did not seem to know how to cure it orhow to help Donna help her baby boy. Watching him suffer washeartbreaking.

She was even told by a renowned pediatric specialist at Houston’sChildren’s Hospital, “Don’t bother bringing him back here because thereis nothing we can do.”

It was impossible for Donna to return to work because there was noone who could keep Wade. Was she bitter? You bet she was for a while.“Not so much that this had happened to me, but that it had happened toWade.” But bit by bit, the Sims “figured out” ways to cope, ways to getthrough the day, and eventually ways to help Wade reach goals nobodyever thought he could.

He was three when a young gastroenterologist intern at UMC asked ifshe had ever considered Willowood Developmental Center. She had not

heard of it, but she found it the next day, met the staff there who werenot put off by Wade’s challenges and accepted him into their program.Donna says it literally saved his life.

The summer Wade was five, a friend invited him to Vacation BibleSchool at Madison United Methodist Church. Donna was apprehensivebut finally allowed him to go. The Sims had not been attending church atall because Wade had such separation anxiety and when he became theleast bit upset, the throwing up would begin. The friend insisted shecould handle it. She did and the Sims found a church home! “The wholechurch community has been like family to us,” Donna says.

Wade enrolled in the Madison public schools and graduated fromMadison Central in the top ten percent of his class last spring. He ispresently attending Holmes Community College in Ridgeland where hemaintains a 3.4 GPA. He intends to enroll at Mississippi State in January.Donna says she and Brian have yet to figure that out completely, but theywill—just as they always have. As Brian says, “If he wants a degree fromMississippi State, then he is going to have it.”

Wade’s major challenges today are on the self-help side. Although hehas developed amazing compensatory skills in the classroom, he needsmuch assistance in the simplest tasks that involved muscle coordination.He still cannot dress himself; he can’t manage buttons, shoe laces andzippers making independent living impossible. He will always need acare-giver, and Donna says, “That is one reason I am so driven in my job.We have to be certain that Wade always has what he needs.”

His mind is quite child-like, but as Donna says, “He is the purestperson I know. He is also the happiest and the most positive.” Theunconditional love that Wade gives to everyone he meets has broughthim a wealth of friends of all ages. He has no concept of mean or evil.There is something quite angelic about him and people respond to that.

Over the years Donna, Brian and Wade have gone just abouteverywhere together. Donna’s office is filled with photos of Wade with anarray of celebrities and she has grown accustomed to the comment,“Wade touches so many people.” The “why” question she used to askGod on an almost hourly basis is not so daunting to her anymore.

She cites John 9:1-3 as her answer. It is the story of Jesus’ reply to hisdisciples who asked, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that hewas born blind?” Jesus said, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

Having a child with special needs is not something anyone ever asksGod to “bless” them with, but Donna can recite a litany of blessings shewould never have known without Wade. “I grew up in church and I hadwhat I thought was a strong faith background, but it had never beentested until Wade. Dealing with the challenges, recognizing that hischallenges were not something I could fix or get through in my ownstrength…and then watching his positive attitude and his joy and theunconditional love he gives…all of it has deepened my faith and mademe a better person.” Y

DONNA SIMS: Special Mom Special Lady

Photo courtesy ofMadison CountyMagazine

Before this surgery, Marthadecided to do what her motherand grandmother had beenunable to do. Because the medialtechnology did not yet exist,neither of them could determinea medical benchmark for theirchildren. But Martha could dothat for her girls now.

Blood tests can detect genemutations that cause mosthereditary breast and ovariancancers. Although the tests arenot new, false positive resultshave become less frequent.When Martha’s results indicatedthat she did not have the genemutation, it meant that herchances of getting these types ofcancers were drastically reduced.But the most significant news for

her was that if she did not have the gene, she could not pass it on toher daughters.

In Martha’s mind she has done all she could to make sure herdaughters do not have to worry about losing their mom to breastcancer. It is a great comfort for Martha that the girls have a medicalhistory that indicates they are not at increased risk because of geneticmutation. Mary Stafford is now a freshman at her father’s alma mater,Mississippi State. Leighton is a junior at St. Joseph and Frances is a6th grader at St. Anthony, both in Madison.

Cancer threatened the family again this year,when John’s mother was diagnosed with breastcancer. She received treatment and the family isgrateful that she is now cancer free—and there isno evidence of breast cancer in her family history.

The Hill family attends St. Richard’s CatholicChurch and enjoy wonderful relationships there.Martha is also a longtime member of a prayergroup and says it was a great comfort knowing thatfriends were praying over her before, during andafter her surgeries. But she also admits there weretimes that she felt angry with God because hermother was not there when she missed and neededher the most. She was angry with God for takingher mother from her too soon—but maturity and

prayer brought acceptance and understanding.By sharing their story, Martha and John hope they can help others.

Martha believes this journey is God’s plan for her…and it’s ok, shesays. “He loved me so much that He gave me John and our 3 amazingdaughters.” She cannot imagine going through all this without Johnand their girls, and says they have all helped her to heal. Martha is atpeace and takes comfort from a quote she learned at a St. Richard’sretreat….. “There is no rest unless you rest in Him.” Y


➺this is my storyby SUSAN DEAVER

Becoming a motherchanged everything forMartha Hill. Her own

mother died of breast cancer atage 30, when Martha was only 2,her sister Laura was 4, and theirbrother Michael was 6. Martha hasno memory of her mother, andnever knew her maternalgrandmother, who died of breastcancer at the age of 43. Marthaand her sister began having annualmammograms when they werevery young. But when Martha hadher own children, she knew shehad to do more.

Originally from Mobile, MarthaMcRaney graduated from MillsapsCollege. John Hill grew up in theJackson area and graduated fromMississippi State. He askedMartha out on a date because their friends just knew they were rightfor each other. After 20 years of marriage, Martha is convinced thatGod gave her John and their 3 beautiful daughters to help her throughwhat He knew was coming.

In July, 2000, after consulting with multiple oncologists andsurgeons, Martha made the difficult decision to have an electivebilateral mastectomy. Her sister, also a mother of 3 children, hadalready undergone this surgery at the age of 28. Martha and hersiblings had been raised by their father, who never remarried. Marthaand John both wanted her there for their girls,and John wanted his wife there—period. Johnwas by her side and did not hesitate when theydiscussed the surgery. She was 34 and herdaughters were 7 years old, 5 years old and 11months old. Martha was at peace throughout thefact-finding process, but nervous the night beforeher surgery. She resolved to recover as quickly aspossible, with minimal disruption for herchildren.

Less than 3 months later, in October 2000,Martha underwent full reconstructive surgery.The recovery period was longer this time, butMartha was again determined to return to hernormal routine as soon as possible, for her children. Although John’sprimary concerns were for his wife and family, he was also growing his10-year-old wealth advisory business. Thankfully John’s parents, Jodyand Judy Hill, were able to help with the girls’ schedules after both ofMartha’s surgeries.

Through the years, Martha remained diligent about preventivehealth checks, and in 2007, several ovarian screening test results wereelevated. Unfortunately there was no explanation for these results. Herdoctors were concerned, and they recommended surgery to removeher ovaries.

Left to right: Martha, Leighton, Frances, John, and Mary Stafford Hill

Inheriting Breast Cancer“John and Martha Hill’s Story”

These books are favorites of Martha’s that shewould like to share with readers.


➺homeworksby CATHY HAYNIE

Cathy Haynie and her husband, Jack, have three children and live inMadison. Cathy is the Headmaster of Christ Covenant School inRidgeland. She occasionally speaks to women’s groups on HonoringGod in the Home and Balancing Work and Home. Contact her [email protected]

De-Stress Dinner PlansDinnertime is important to you, but sometimes

it is challenging to plan, prepare, andcoordinate schedules to make it happen. I

often change my approach to dinner plans to make lifeeasier, to try new recipes, or just to add some new ideas tothe mix. If you anticipate a particularly busy season, a planlike this 4 x 5 approach is one that helps.

Consider 5 different types of main dishes that you canvary to have 5 nights of meals for 4 weeks. Your plan mightconsist of 4 cooked ground beef recipes, 4 cooked chickenrecipes, 4 baked chicken recipes, 4 soups, and 4 other meatselections. You can either do all your cooking over a one-week period and have everything in the freezer for the restof the month, or cook for a day and eat for a month.Choose simple sides to accompany your meals.

✽ Ground beef recipes: Cook ground beef all atonce for 4 meals, such as spaghetti, tacos, taco salad,cheeseburger pie, or chili.

✽ Cooked chicken recipes: look for simple recipesthat call for cooked chicken, like poppy seed chicken,chicken pie, pasta salad with prepared chicken, orchicken spaghetti. Cook all of your chicken at once, cool, and dice.

✽ Baked chicken recipes: prepare four marinades and freezein quart size bags. Place chicken breasts and the marinade ina crock-pot and cook 4 hours on high or 8 on low, or bake foran hour in the oven. You might even go really easy and buyitems like a bottle of barbecue sauce, a bottle of sun driedtomato salad dressing, and a bottle of chicken marinade (suchas Lowry’s). Pour the contents of one bottle over the chickenand cook for a simple main dish.

✽ 4 soup recipes: consider simple soups that you can prepareahead. Mix ingredients to freeze, and if ground beef orchicken is required, prepare extra with recipes above. If abowl of vegetable soup won’t be enough for your crowd,consider simple sandwich sides like wrapping a crescent rollaround a hot dog then cooking according to the crescent roll

directions; or, lay the crescent dough triangle flat and addsliced ham and a little cheese and roll and cook as directed.Or, add thick cheese toast, biscuits, or salads.

For your final four recipes, consider cuts of meat like a roast, porktenderloin, pork chops, fish fillets, or even a simple recipe preparedwith a bag of frozen, cooked and peeled shrimp. The easiest one Iknow is Shrimp Fettuccini Alfredo; purchase a jar of low fat Alfredosauce and fettuccini noodles to make a quick entrée.

Look through your recipes and see what easier approach to dinneryou might find! Y

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Why is your child struggling in school?Behavioral problems at school andhome, problems with focusing,finishing assignments, followingdirections, anger outburts, anddefiance can be symptoms ofTREATABLE DISORDERS. Phone 601-707-7355 for an appointment withSuzanne B. Russell, LicensedProfessional Counselor; M.S. inPsychometry; and M.S. ReadingDisorders.

SPECIALITIES:Diagnosis and management of ADHD, inattentive ADHD,oppositional defiant disorder, depression, all types of anxietydisorders, and behavioral and academic problems for childrenand teens.

Suzanne B. Russell, LPC; PLLC665 Highway 51 NorthRidgeland, MS 39157Office: 601-707-7355E-mail: [email protected]: www.suzannerussellpc.com

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education connectionby SUZANNE RUSSELL, LPC; PLLC (Part I of II)

➺

Your child’s education lays the groundwork for a lifetimeof success both professionally and personally. So whenyour child begins to struggle in school, grades plummet, and

homework which should take 45 minutes takes hours, the entire familyexperiences chaos. If we could be the proverbial “fly on the wall” infamilies where a child is struggling in school, we might hear variations ofthe following:

• “A score of 55 on your math sheet! I know you can do this; you didthe same type worksheet two days ago and made a 95! What is wrongwith you?”

• “If you would just sit still and focus, you could be through with thisassignment in 30 minutes, but with all your fidgeting, jumping up anddown, and checking out everything else that is going on in this house; ittakes you forever! I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

• “If you made great grades all the way up until 9th grade and nowyou are failing, you are just not applying yourself; you need to buckledown and get it together; or you will be grounded the rest of thissemester!”

• “Your teacher says you are the model student at school, but at timesshe notices you staring out the window a million miles away, or justlooking at her with a blank stare, and on your worksheets you do great onthe first half of the sheet and then the further you go the more mistakesyou make. You are going to have to pay attention in class and do all ofyour work. I am very disappointed in you.”

What if your child had a developmental disorder that is largely due toa biological malfunction in the brain that was causing all of the abovescenarios? What if there was very little or anything your child could do tocontrol these behaviors on his own? Would you as a parent feeldifferently? Would you want to determine if there was an attentionproblem so that these struggles could lessen? All of these scenarios areexamples of comments parents describe when they come to me withconcerns about their child or teen’s academic performance. All of theabove children or teens have undiagnosed Attention DeficitHyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Back in the 50’s and 60’s we justthought these children were “hyper” but by the 70’s and 80’s we learnedthat these children have a developmental disorder known as ADHDPredominantly Hyperactive, Impulsive Type. These children have muchdifficulty with impulse control (being able to stop and think beforeacting), much difficulty maintaining attention on topics that are notinteresting to them (which explains why they can watch TV or do videogames for hours). They also have extreme difficulty staying focused onassignments, and many are even distracted by their own constantmovement, talking, or fidgeting.

Other children who have ADHD are not hyperactive, do not fidget, ortalk constantly; but they do have much trouble focusing, organizing,paying close attention to details, and are very easily distracted. This typeof ADHD is known as ADHD/Predominantly Inattentive. This type ofADHD is frequently overlooked by parents, teachers, counselors, evenphysicians because the symptoms are so subtle. The child avoids tasksthat require sustained mental attention; she is very forgetful, has troublefollowing conversations and directions; and, of course, difficulty focusingon what the teacher is presenting in class. Research reports for everythree boys who are diagnosed with ADHD there is at least one girl whohas the disorder. But in adult samples the ratio of males to females is oneto one. Thus, girls are much less likely to be recognized as havingADHD because they do NOT exhibit behavior problems; they areusually very well behaved and eager to do well in school. But due to their

difficulty in focusing, this child cannot concentrate on what the teacher ispresenting, is highly distractible, has much trouble organizing, and hastrouble retaining the information she does learn. This type of ADHD isknown as ADHD/Predominantly Inattentive Type.

There is one other type of ADHD and that is known as ADHDPredominantly Hyperactive/Impulsive; Combined Type; this type is themost prevalent in the population. More than two-thirds to three-fourthsof people diagnosed with ADHD will be placed in this type at some timein their childhood or adulthood.

What causes ADHD and how many children and teens have ADHD?ADHD is a developmental disorder that is largely genetic and biologicalin nature. This disorder is caused by a deficit of the neurotransmittersdopamine and norepinephrine in the frontal lobe of the brain. There isNOTHING a child or teen can do to produce more of these neededchemicals. There has been no documented evidence to support that diet(too much sugar, red food dye, processed foods); ineffective parenting orthe lack of structure in the home causes ADHD. It is estimated thatseven to ten percent of all children and teens have ADHD. Sadly, lessthan about 50% have been diagnosed. Thus, it is a myth that ADHD isover-diagnosed.

We will consider effective treatment of ADHD in our Novemberissue.Y

Suzanne B. Russell, LPC; PLLC specializes in ADHD treatment for children,teens, and adults. Contact her at (601) 770-7355.

Why is school such a struggle for my child?


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➺let’s talk it overby BARBARA KNOPES

COMING AND GOING Healing under God’s Guardianship

Psalm passage 121:8 is often recommended to those in mission work,traveling to far-away places, or embarking on new adventures.Sometimes it’s even offered to those grieving the loss of a loved one.

This is all right and good and certainly an appropriate use of His Word forencouragement and strength.

But did you know there is more? Much more?There are all sorts of ‘comings and goings.’ We come in and out of homes, countries,

cities, jobs, relationships, health; and yes—even our walk with the Lord is sometimesmarked by us coming and going.

However, there’s another type of coming and going I’d like us to consider. This is thecoming and going of our private inward journey, where we struggle through our darkestnights in the midst of difficult times; where we battle inner demons: depression, anxiety,addictions, compulsive behaviors, marital affairs, broken relationships, loneliness ordespair. Let’s talk of this coming and going.

Do we dare enter these often hidden areas of our soul? Wouldn’t it be better to justkeep them secreted away? Can we really come face to face with our raw needs and haveHim guard our hearts in THAT coming and going? Will the Lord guard us even there?

I’ve been in the counseling and healing fields over 38 years, and I can tell you: only inthe Lord, are we truly equipped for this kind of ‘coming and going’ inner work. Only withHim, are we led to restoration (and His glory). He HAS ‘overcome the world’ (John16:33). We CAN be ‘conquerors in Him’ (Romans 8:37). We CAN ‘put off the old andput ON the new’ (Ephesians 4:22). We actually DO become ‘new creatures in Christ’ (2Cor.5:17).

In The Problem of Pain, C.S. Lewis wrote “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaksin our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Rest assured that God will orchestrate ‘megaphone moments’ in our lives. This is agift. He is calling. He loves us that much.

So, if you are experiencing God’s megaphone, dare to be ‘roused!’ Don’t be afraid toask the hardest questions that rise up in your soul. Deuteronomy 7:21 “You shall notdread them, for the LORD your God is in your midst, a great and awesome God.” Y

Barbara Knopes, LMFT, is Manager of the Intensive Outpatient Program at SummitCounseling – First Baptist Church in Jackson. She sees clients at Summit Counselingand Broadmoor Baptist Church in Madison. Questions concerning the IntensiveOutpatient Program can be directed to her at [email protected].

“The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever.” PSALM 121:8


to avoid probate or to bring down the size of thetaxable estate. It can be done with relative safetywith a very special type of protective trust forthe child, but not with an outright gift.

Don’t want your assets to wind up in thehands of your former son-in-law (or daughter-in-law) and their new spouse? Do your estateplanning around a living trust - particularlywhere there are children from a prior marriage.You can make sure that your children do not get“accidentally disinherited,” but that your spousehas the benefits of your estate during his or herlifetime and that your children then can receivetheir inheritance.

Some people in their planning have chosento have elaborate trust structures includedwithin their wills. Nothing wrong with that, aslong as they realize that for these type trusts(called “testamentary trusts” ) to come intoexistence the will must first go through theprobate process. Make sure you understandyour plan completely and that it will accomplishyour objectives. Y

William B. Howell is a member of the NationalAcademy of Elder Law Attorneys and practices lawin Ridgeland.

legal adviceby WILLIAM B. HOWELL

In planning your estate the initial decisionto be made is whether to center yourplan with a Last Will and Testament or

with a Living Trust.In generations past families were very close,

there were few estates with any tax liability, andchildren respected their parents’ wishes, bothbefore and after the parents passed away. Welive in a different time. Estate litigation is nolonger rare. In order for your wishes to becarried out, they have to be in writing, and thatwriting will govern what actually gets donewhen you cannot speak for yourself.

The difference between a will and a trust,according to Black’s Law Dictionary, “is that awill operates from the moment of death, while atrust operates in the present.” A will is aperfectly good way to pass your assets at death,but it cannot provide any help if you becomeincapacitated during your lifetime. A trust, onthe other hand, is in effect from the moment itis properly set up and funded, providingprotection and assurance that your wishes willbe carried out, both during any period ofdisability as well as at your death. A will must gothrough the court proceeding known as probate

to become a legally effective instrument tocarry out your wishes, while a trust functionswithout the need for a court procedure, both inthe event of disability as well as at death.

If a will is selected as the cornerstone ofyour estate plan, then you will need anadditional provision for someone to manageyour assets in the event of your incapacityduring life. As mentioned above, the will onlycomes into effect after your death. Many peoplehave utilized a durable power of attorney forthis purpose. However, in recent years many ofthose persons have run into businesses thatdecline to honor a power of attorney. No one isrequired to honor a power of attorney by law inMississippi. So what do you do in that case? Aliving trust takes the place of the power ofattorney and must be honored.

Some people put their children’s names ontheir assets with authority to deal with them inthe case of the parent’s disability. Sounds good,but this will often result in the assets beingexposed to the creditors of the child, or to theirbankruptcy, or even to being considered as anasset to be divided in their divorce. The sameproblems can arise when using lifetime gifting

Do You Have a Will or a Trust? Why?

Living Trust – Allows the person you choose to take over for you in the event of your incapacity, without any court involvement. Atyour death the person you have chosen makes the distribution of your assets the way you have instructed in your Living Trust, and to doso promptly, inexpensively and privately, without going through probate in the court.

Asset Protection – Lawsuits are filed every day. If you get sued, are your assets protected? They can be, and probably should be.Also, the divorce rate has never been higher than it is today. Will your child’s divorce cause them to lose half of what you leave them afteryou are gone? Not if you plan now. The level of protection (or not) is up to you.

Nursing Home Planning – Don’t qualify for long term care insurance, or can’t fit it in your budget? You don’t have to spendeverything that you have in order to become eligible for nursing home benefits. There are legal and ethical ways for you to save well overhalf of your assets in most cases, even if you are already in the nursing home.

You have worked hard for it.WHY THROW IT AWAY?

We are all living longer. But we are not all going to be in good health, or aware of our families, or both. Then whathappens? Someone has to take over. The question is: Will this be someone you chose? And will it be outside of courtor in court? The same with the distribution of your assets after you pass away: In court or out of court? The choiceis yours. What about protecting your assets from lawsuits, or a child’s inheritance from a divorce? And will most ofyour hard-earned savings go to the nursing home? Or have you planned? Here are a few ideas for you to consider:

Hear Mr. Howell on the radioTuesdays 8:35 am

WJNT NewsTalk 1180

THE LAW FIRM OFWILLIAM B. HOWELL, LTD.

406 Orchard Park • Ridgeland, Mississippi(601) 978-1700 or (800) 839-7857 National Academy of

Elder Law Attorneys

➺


➺salt & lightby KATHY TONEY BOYD

Editor’s Note: When Chris Toney was diagnosed with Stage 4Colon Cancer, he found his strength and comfort in hisrelationship with Christ and the overflowing supportive love of hisfamily. Because each family member found their own faithrenewed and deepened as they walked the journey with Chris andbecause of their gratitude to his care-givers at St. Dominic, theywanted to do something to memorialize Chris, to encourage othercritically ill patients, and to express their love to those who hadbecome like extended family through all the months of Chris’illness. Chris’ sister Kathy tells their story in her own words.

Iremember the first time I saw a comfortcross. Chris’ son, Christopher, boughtmy mother one. It touched me so much

to see her holding it during her dailydevotions that I wanted one as well. Injust a few days, she placed this comfort cross inmy hands. It is a constant reminder of the loveJesus has for all of us and the sacrifice he madefor all of our sins that we may be saved throughHim. I held this cross close.

When Chris was diagnosed with cancer andbegan his battle, I would hold this cross evencloser and pray for him daily.

The first time Chris was admitted to thehospital, I didn’t want to let go of this cross and Itook it with me to see him. When Chris saw it, he wanted one, too. Iimmediately got a Sharpie, signed the bottom with “C. I Love You,K.,” and placed it in his hand. He never let go of it. If it wasn’t in hishand, it was in his pajama pocket close to his heart. One night, at thehospital he lost it and had his wife and practically off of St. Dominic’sstaff searching for it. They found it under his bed.

I can’t tell you how many people God drew to that hospital to prayover Chris. Someone was there to pray over him every day. When Iwalked into his room I felt like I was walking on holy ground. On theday Dr. Graham gave us the devastating news that there was nothingelse medically they could do to treat Chris, I will never forget what hedid. While we were all weeping, Chris held that cross up and said,“Guys, I’m fine! I know where I’m going!” We were all amazed. Thepeace that radiated from him was truly incredible. Chris and his wife,Sharla, prayed hard for a way to testify of how God had changed theirlives. Let me tell you! Jesus heard their prayers.

One morning, while praying for Chris, God put it on my heart togive out comfort crosses to cancer patients. That same day God putthis Bible verse on Chris’s mind: “”My grace is sufficient for you, formy power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all themore gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest onme” (2 Corinthians 12:9). When I talked to Chris and Sharla, we knewwhat we had to do. Although I had originally thought that Chris and Iwere supposed to give out the crosses, during prayer God made it clearto me that Sister Celestine and Dr. Graham would be the ones to givethem to patients. I had just told Chris about this when Sister Celestinewalked into Chris’ room saying how much she wanted to get some of

the sisters to try and make her500 comfort crosses to give away!We knew God was in this. Ipromised Chris, Sister Celestineand God that I would get 500crosses to St. Dominic Hospital.

On March 1, 2011, when Iwent to see Chris, he held out hishand to me and placed my crossthat I had given him, back in myhand. He had signed it back tome and said it was time for me to

have it back. That was one of the hardest days of my life. I took areplacement cross that I had gotten and signed it over to him. Chriswas holding that cross when Jesus came for him on March 15, 2011.Tearfully, Sharla and their two children Christopher and Lisa sent itwith him for the rest of his journey.

God has blessed us. We are working with The Good Gift Company.It was important to Chris that we work with them because they are aChristian company and their crosses are made by a small family-ownedbusiness in Bethlehem. They are cut from the prunings of Olive treesgrowing since the time of Christ. Just as God made us all unique, notwo crosses are the same. Each cross comes in a box and includes aprayer booklet.

We know that God has called us to establish Chris’ CrossFoundation. We will deliver a cross when we hear of someone in needor when we feel led by God to a particular person, family or group.Our joy comes from knowing that people everywhere will be holding acomfort cross as Chris did and will be reminded that Jesus is withthem no matter what their circumstance may be.

If you would like to find out more about Chris’ Cross Foundationcontact Kathy Boyd at [email protected] or at 601 857 0831.Y

Chris’ sister Kathy Boyd and SisterCelestine of St. Dominic

Chris’s CrossFoundation

Chris’s Comfort Cross

Chris’s and wife Sharla


2900 West Fork Drive Baton Rouge, LA 406 Orchard Park Bldg 2 Ridgeland, MS

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“Persnickety advertises in all of the local magazines. But our ad inMetro Christian Living garnered us the largest response, ever! Thephone rang off the hook and we saw a significant increase in our walkin traffic. We didn’t hesitate to sign a full year contract with Marilynand her staff.”

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Love!! Love!! Loved!! the ad in the September issue. We havereceived several calls since this issue has hit the stands. Thanks foryour help.

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BOOKS

When parents learn their child hasspecial needs, happy expectations shatterinto sharp-edged questions. Whether thediagnosis comes at birth or later, everythingchanges. The new reality drops parents andchildren into a bewildering world ofdiagnoses and medical procedures. InDifferent Dream Parenting, author JolenePhilo offers parents hope and help fornavigating the various questions andchallenges.

You become your child’s advocatethrough all decisions and procedures, butwhere do you go for help? Whether youneed information about insurance mattersor how to find information on your child’sissue, you’ll find guidance here.

Hospitals can be just as confusing as thechoices surrounding treatment. Philo offersa section on handling hospital stays. Ideason notebooks and charts help organize theprocess. She remains practical whileincluding the need for spiritual strengththroughout.

The world outside the hospital moveson, and a special needs child affects theextended family, too. Home routines often

Jackson native Dove Award-winningsinger and songwriter Ginny Owensreleased her first new studio project infive years in August. Get In, I’m Drivingis a collection of eleven songs thatreveal a broad range of style and anartist who has matured in amazing wayssince her previous albums. Ginny calls it“my most soulful” work, “kind of myauto-biography” and one that is anartistic expression and reflection of aperiod filled with personal trials andtests of faith.

Several critics use the word,“vulnerable” to describe Ginny’s purevoice and intimate lyrics that speak ofjoy, sorrow, disappointment, courage,and surrender. The music will find itsway to your heart, too, because there issomething in the way Ginny puts asong across that pulls you into Ginny’sworld…or is it that she puts herself inyours. It’s a connection you can’t miss!”

“I grew up listening to R&B, hip hopand soul. I got into jazz while I was incollege, and I’ll admit there is a part ofme that loves straight pop music,”Ginny says. “My dream has alwaysbeen to be versatile enough musicallyto play a club on Saturday night and achurch on Sunday morning…and whynot? People in both places love musicand are desperate for hope.” Readmore about Ginny atwww.ginnyowens.com. Y

Different Dream Parenting by Susan E. Richardson

Get In, I’m Driving by Ginny Owens Reviewed by Marilyn Tinnin

change and workschedules canpresent challenges.For each issue, Philooffers solidsuggestions forresolution.

The final threesections look furtherout, into handling long-term care andraising a survivor. Planning for the futureand allowing your child to experience thefullest life possible are both necessary. Philoalso does not flinch from the discussion ofwhat happens if you lose your child.

With multiple resources, usefulappendixes, input from professionals, andparents who have experienced the journey,Different Dream Parenting is a rich resourcefor any special needs parent. Y

Susan E. Richardson is a writer,critique reader, and former Christianretailer with a passion for meetingpeople’s needs through the writtenword. You can reach her through herwebsite www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

CD

Logan Brisco was a con. Of that, Carnywas sure! He swaggered into the quiet townof Serenity, Texas, wearing his fancy suitone day and announced his company’sintention to build a theme park. This projectwould be a financial boon for thetownspeople if only they would invest asmall portion of their hard-earned money.Instinctively, Carny Sullivan knew he wastrouble. Armed with an arsenal ofexperience from her own checkered past,Carny made it her mission to prove the manwas a fraud. After all, you can’t con acon…or can you?

That’s exactly what Logan Brisco set outto do. When he first arrived in town, Loganplotted to scam and scram with as muchcash as the town’s citizens could give him…until Carny Sullivan came along and sawthrough his businessman’s façade to the

Shadow in Serenity by Terri Blackstock Reviewed by Suzanne Sansing

heart of his scheme.As she threatened toexpose him, his goalbecame to up thestakes and fool her,the biggest ofskeptics. Could hepull it off? Or wouldthis new objective be his undoing?

In her newest release, Shadow inSerenity, author Terri Blackstock, spins atale of sin and redemption that proves thatGod’s forgiveness is not only for “small-time sinners”. A blend of The Music Manand The Runaway Bride, Shadow inSerenity is a fun read for those looking forexcitement as well as anyone who has everwondered if his sin was too much for Godto forgive. Y

events calendar


CLINTON October 8-9 The National Multiple Sclerosis Society isholding their annual Bike MS fundraiser toraise support and awareness of MultipleSclerosis. Cyclists will leave from the BaptistHealthplex in Clinton and make their way tohistoric Vicksburg taking fun rest stops alongthe way. All levels of cyclist are encouraged toparticipate. Register online atwww.bikemsmississippi.org or call 601-856-5831

JACKSON October 5-16Fall is in the airwhich means the fairis coming to town.From October 5-16 enjoy rides galore, greatfood, and a mile long midway. For additionalinformation call 601-961-4000

October 18-20W. Kessler, Ltd. presents Disney’s Beauty andthe Beast at our own Thalia Mara Hall indowntown Jackson. Enjoy this widelyacclaimed Broadway musical filled withbeautiful sets, costumes, and some of yourfavorite Disney characters. For moreinformation, call 601-981-1847

October 21-23Mississippi International Film Festivalcelebrates the 50th Anniversary of FreedomRiders and the release of Elvis’s “Blue Hawaii”at the Russell C. Davis Planetarium indowntown Jackson. Enjoy celebrity guest,music, a Hot Rod Car Show and Best Elvisaward ceremony. For more information call601-665-7737 or visit www.msfilm.org

October 21Holiday Potpourri, First Presbyterian DaySchool’s annual fundraiser, will be held from9:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. at the home of Kim andMichael Nicholslocated at 4203Eastover Place inJackson.HolidayPotpourri is theperfect way to spend time with friends, stockup on wonderful baked goods and bid on thatmuch-needed party or get-away. Funds raisedwill be used for a new gymnasium floor and topurchase Motorola Xoom tablets. Foradditional information call 601-355-1731

October 22The Little Light House, a tuition-freeChristian Developmental Center for childrenage birth to six with developmental delays, ishosting their walk/run laps for the Little LightHouse students. Comecelebrate theculmination of severalweeks of fundraising aseach student “Strut’sTheir Stuff” and takestheir victory lap inrecognition of themilestones they have achieved throughout theyear. University Christian School will play hostto this fun and special event. For moreinformation call 601-829-3822

October 27Enjoy listening to the best jazz Jackson has tooffer in The Art Garden at the MississippiMuseum of Art. Jazz, Art and Friends issure to be a night of great music and funfellowship. For additional information go towww.msmuseumart.org

October 29Trinity Presbyterian Church on 5301 OldCanton Road is having their Fall Festival from5-7 p.m. Enjoy games, a moon jump, anddinner while fellowshipping with friends andfamily. For additional information call thechurch office at 601-977-0774

October 30The American Heart Association’s MetroJackson Heart Walk plays host to a threemile non-competitivewalk to raise funds tofight heart disease andstroke. Walk alongsidePatrick House, season ten winner of TV’s “The

Biggest Loser” while helping to support agreat cause. The walk begins at 2:00 p.m. atthe state Capitol in downtown Jackson. Foradditional information, visitmetrojacksonheartwalk.org or call 601-321-1208

GREENWOODOctober 21The Mississippi Community Education Centeris hosting its First Annual Fundraising Event“Cowboy Festival” benefiting North NewSummit School. Enjoy a night of fun, gamesand barbeque while helping to raise fundsfor a new playground and improvements onthe outside facility. For ticket information call662-451-5398

MADISONGrace Chapel Presbyterian Church, locatedat 307 New Mannsdale Road, is host to theExplorers Bible Study which meets everyThursday from 9:30-11:00 a.m. Study thebook of Hebrews and 1st Peter whileenjoying great Christian fellowship. Childcare is available. For more informationcontact 601-259-1339 Y

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“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail.They are new everymorning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself,“TheLord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.””

– Lamentations 3:22-24

NORTH STATE ANIMAL& BIRD HOSPITAL

5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206

601-982-8261Dr. Adrian Whittington

Dr. Jeb CadeDr. Melissa McLendon

OFFICE HOURS:Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm

Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pmSunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm

Boarding & Grooming Services Available

➺quips & quotes

“The public, more often than not, willforgive mistakes, but it will not forgivetrying to wriggle and weasel out of one.”

– Lewis Grizzard

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”

– Will Rogers

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; inhim my heart trusts, and I am helped. Myheart exults, and with my song I givethanks to him.”

– Psalm 28:7

ADVERTISER PAGEApple Annie’s Gift Shop ..............................38BankPlus .......................................................12Baptist.............................................................7Belhaven University......................................20Belhaven Grad..............................................29Biaggi’s .........................................................38Callaway’s Lawn & Garden ..........................12Cellular South/C Spire....................................6Center for Pregnancy Choices.....................23Christ Covenant School ...............................18Christian Leaders of the Future...................11Dr. Phillip Ley................................................15Energy Insulation..........................................28Environment Masters ...................................47Eye Care Professionals ...................................3FPDS.............................................................15Fresh-Way.....................................................16Gameroom Gallery.......................................43GI Associates................................................14Grantham Poole CPAs .................................16Highland Village ...........................................22Jackson Academy School ..............................2Jackson Medical Mall .....................................5Jackson Preparatory School ........................34Lifeway..........................................................21M&F Bank.....................................................22Metro Christian Living..................................45MITZ Designs ...............................................46Mission Mississippi .......................................38Mississippi Children’s Museum....................18New Learning resources ..............................38North State Animal Hospital........................46O! How cute .................................................19O’Mire Financial Services.............................43Odyssey Hospice..........................................31Parents & Kids..............................................21Palmer Home ...............................................31Phil Bryant.......................................................2Prime Care Nursing......................................30Persnickety ...................................................17Quality Customer Interactions.....................30Runnels .........................................................48Senior Transitions .........................................37Sitters............................................................38Smiles by Design..........................................18Southern Farm Bureau.................................22Star 93.5 .......................................................47Stegall Imagery ............................................43St. Catherine’s Village ....................................4St. Dominics....................................................9Summit Counseling......................................40Sunnybrook Estates .....................................37Suzanne Russell ............................................39Tinnin Imports ..............................................13The Eye Group of MS ..................................21Trustmark......................................................14Venable Glass ...............................................40William B. Howell .........................................41Woman’s Hospital ........................................16Wright & Ferguson.......................................22Written in Stone ...........................................28

For more information on our advertisersvisit www.metrochristianliving.com

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Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!{ }

“Gray hair is Gods graffiti”

– Bill Cosby

“There never was a child solovely but his mother wasglad to get him asleep.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

✂

“Some people do not like to hear much ofrepentance; but I think it is so necessary thatif I should die in the pulpit, I would desire todie preaching repentance, and if out of thepulpit I would desire to die practicing it.

– Matthew Henry

“The Lord, the Lord, is mystrength and my song; he hasbecome by salvation.”

– Isaiah12:2

“The best wayout is alwaysthrough”

– Robert Frost


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O P E R A T I O N

Next event: October 29th from 6:30 AM - 10:30 AM at the Flowood YMCA

Free Breast Cancer Screening Exams

{It could save your life!}

Please contact us for more information including event times and locations:

Documents

October 2011