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magazineOBSCUREOBSCURE SPORTSSPORTSAUGUST 2010

PASSPORT TO CHAMPIONSHIPS

KICKBALL365.COM COMPLETING

THE CIRCUIT

VIRGIN TERRITORY: WARRIOR DASH

REVIEWS: OBSCURE SPORT

iPHONE APPZ

BRING YOUR OWN BIKE

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www.obscuresportsmag.comAUGUST 2010[ Contents ][ Cover Story ] Passport to Championships: Bring Your Own Bike

[ Quick Hits ] p.6 - Upon Further Review Our favorite obscure sports clipsp.7 - Do’s & Don’ts What every sports-loving fashionista needs to knowp.23 - Photo Tag Think you’re witty? Win an OSM tee!p.29 - 1/2 PageFowling

[ Columns ]p.4 - By The GlassNobody’s Perfect

p.12 - Virgin TerritoryMud, Sweat, Beers

p.22 - Master DebatersMore dangerous? Kickball vs Dodgeball p.26 - The “O” List5 Best Flying Disc Games

p.31 - Final Word“It All Comes Out in the Wash”

Review: Obscure Sport iPhone appz beware. Michael Votto is looking for you.

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To play a sport is one thing, to t ravel around the wor ld another. To travel wi th bags, a bike, and play your sport around the wor ld – total ly cool . Kr is Szatmary heads to NAHBPC in Madison to check out an evolv ing sport wi th wor ldwide appeal for p layers and fans.

Completing the Circuit Guest contributor Meg Simone brings you up to speed on Kickball365’s competitive play and rewarding brainchild, “The Circuit.”

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by the glass

Daniel B. GlassCreative DirectorObscure Sports Magazine

WOW, it has been a crazy summer so far in professional sports officiating. One has to wonder if the actual officiating has gotten worse or if the lens of the microscope in which we watch has been magnified. My guess - it’s the microscope.

Back in the day people could only rely on what they saw when they were at the actual sports venue. Nowadays you can turn your HDTV on and watch sports broadcasts showing replays in super slo-mo at 200 frames per second in crystal clear 1080i. Not much room for error as an ump, ref, or official.

Take Jim Joyce, for example, the ump that blew a call in the 9th inning that cost the Detroit Tiger’s pitcher Armando Galarraga a perfect game. A PERFECT GAME. This is something that has only been done 20 times ever in the history of MLB.

Any soccer fans out there? How about some of the calls made during the World Cup? The U.S. and England have the biggest gripes, with 3 goals combined taken away or not even counted.

These are highly paid and highly skilled officials making bad calls.

You’ve read about these stories in blogs and newspapers, watched them over and over on ESPN, and probably sat around somewhere at work talking about them as well. I’m not saying anything new here.

I repeat, these are highly paid and highly skilled officials making bad calls.

Nobody’s perfect.

Not even the volunteer/underpaid ump that just blew a call against your kickball team, the ref who didn’t call the penalty during your bike polo match, or the official who didn’t see the person get hit with a dodgeball. Just something to keep in mind whether you are warming up or winding down in your obscure sports seasons. Try to keep it all in perspective..

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Andy ButeynDrawing Guy“Red, Cruiser, Second-Hand”andy@obscuresportsmag.com

Daniel B. GlassCreative Director “Blue, Durable, Rad” dan@obscuresportsmag.com

Jodi NeitzelMarketing/Contributor “Radical, Tubular, Badass” jodi@obscuresportsmag.com

Andrea SpiegelbergContributor “Green, Sparkly, Floral Seat” andrea@obscuresportsmag.com

Kristine SzatmaryEditor/Contributor “Pink, Glittery, Banana Seat” kris@obscuresportsmag.com

Jami TopolovichPhotographer/Contributor “Red, Fearless, Sassy” jami@obscuresportsmag.com

Michael VottoContributor “Cheap, Blue, Unused” mvotto@obscuresportsmag.com

Jake WallendalContributor“Never learned to ride”

Contact Us... Obscure Sports Magazine

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CONTRIBUTORS

BALL-JOINTING pinning the ball between an open end of the mallet head and the playing surface and then dragging

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1. billy madisonA deleted scene from the Billy Madison DVD. He plays kickball with a bunch of the employees of the house and ends up going crazy because of a bad call. Hmmm, even in the movies, douchebaggery runs wild.

Got a funny clip? We want to see it! Send us the link at - ufr@obscuresportsmag.com

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2. boondoCksFans of Adult Swim on Cartoon Network might be familiar with this little gem that aired May 16th. This is only the promo video. A full version of the episode can be found with a little Google search. Well worth it.

3. napoleon dynamite Love it or hate it, no denying this movie’s influence on pop culture. This clip is from the deleted scenes on the DVD. Very rough cut with the timecode still embedded and no color correction. Love the size of the ball!

4. the sarah silverman show The now canceled show on Comedy Central has Sarah playing kickball with a few friends. Is it just me or would it be funnier if she crushed the old guy with the ball instead of just tagging him? Oh well... he gets his.

5. party downAnother cult hit canceled. Starz is struggling with their original series lineup, unlike the popular HBO and Showtime. This is the promo video which pits the Party Down crew against rival catering company Valhalla.

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No wrong answers here... just doing our part to help the helpless figure it out.

Do’s & Don’ts

Send us your pictures to dodont@obscuresportsmag.com and win a t-shirt if we use it.

WiN A

T-ShirTDeTAilS BeloW

This Ozzy Osbourne roadie is a clear cut DO! Most men over 55 just throw clothes on and screw the fashion. “Shot in the Dark” here likes to keep himself color coordinated while still expressing his inner “Crazy Train.” Socks match the shorts and the shoes match his kick-ass studded belt. His camera case not only stays in the color scheme of accessories, but also keeps his camera safe and his Newport 100’s from getting crushed. Keeping the shirt off, but handy, is mandatory in Wisconsin. Concealing those guns is a felony in this state and he needs the shirt in case he wants a tapper of PBR at the corner tavern. The only knock here is that his hoop earring seems to lack a dagger or skull, but I’m not saying a word! I’m fairly certain he taught Dalton how to rip out throats as seen in Road House.

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When you hear that a nearby c i ty has been selected to host the North American Hardcourt B ike Polo Championships (NAHBPC or NAs) , go wi l l ing ly - by foot , by b ike, by bus, by car - to check out an evolv ing sport with f ixed-gear b ike enthusiasts buzz ing in act ion at the ground level . Leave the horses at home. Don’t worry, you won’t ru in a pair of shoes d ivot stomping and you can leave the hats and suits in the c loset . Noise is expected and you won’t need binoculars – wel l , unless you are reff ing.

B ike polo p layers f rom many t ime zones converged at Madison Col lege’s Truax campus tennis courts in Madison, Wisconsin on Ju ly 16-18. Temps were h igh and the sun was hot . For some, the journey to Madison l ike ly started days or even weeks before the event. I t can take a b i t of log ist ica l ingenuity to get the b ike, required gear, and other unmentionables to another c i ty. The park ing lot was proof that b ike polo p layers wi l l go the extra mi le or k i lometer to part ic ipate in the can’t-miss events of the season. R ide-shar ing is common and could a lso mean a few pickup games a long the way on the road to a nat ional tournament. More than l ike ly, the p ickup games br ing together p layers who already know each other f rom tournaments or The League of B ike Polo forums.

My journey to the NAs was a 60 minute car r ide. No to l l ways or secur i ty checkpoints to pass through to reach the energet ic and exot ic scene that surrounded me. Count less unattended bikes sprawled out in the open spaces, mal lets leaned every which way next to b ikes and against the court boards, whi le sunburned, sweaty b ike polo p layers grabbed some shade in the off ic ia l ’s tent around a te lev is ion running through the l i st of creat ive team names and scores. A fu l l b ike rack near another tent emblazoned with the Trek logo appeared to be the spot to f ind repair tools and couches. My eyes jumped over the

PASSPORT TO CHAMPIONSHIPS

B R I N G Y O U R O W N B I K Eby Kr is Szatmary

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mega orange water coolers stat ioned near the courts and not iced iced coffee and f resh coconuts for sa le. After a l i tt le boy to ld me where to f ind the portable to i lets , I knew everything I needed to surv ive the next few hours was access ib le . I d idn’t not ice a f i rst a id stat ion, but I wasn’t p lanning to get hurt or see b lood.

The tennis courts were transformed into a b ike polo arena. I t was easy to get a 360-degree v iew of a l l the games in progress . I watched teams maneuver around the courts effort less ly. P layers kept their balance with one hand on a handlebar and the other hand holding a mal let . The 3-on-3 p layer format made i t poss ib le to focus my gaze on the p layers ’ moves and the bal l at the same t ime. Only a courts ide board stood between me and the act ion.

The p lay was non-stop. As soon as one round ended, another started. The mix of men and women, the var iety of b ikes and att i re , peppered with a range of ages, languages, and accents made for sp icy spectator enterta inment.

As I rotated between courts , I not iced fami l iar faces, but no one that I knew by name. Whi le watching a team in orange shirts p lay, I started up a conversat ion with another p layer/spectator who gave me more perspect ive on the game. Hai l ing f rom Seatt le and headed to Guatemala in September for a tournament, he kept an eye on the game, but shared some t ips on the ru les and pointed out some indiv idual equipment preferences. I know I wasn’t th inking about how the hot sun beat ing down on the court affects the bal l unt i l we ta lked. Banter between players and spectators got louder and he expla ined that the orange team plays grass court polo in Phoenix , but now hardcourt , too. The Phoenix B ike Polo c lub was turning heads and not just because they had a team with two 12-year-olds and fans. Others watching

the same game cheered for p layers by name, yel led out a ru le c lar i f icat ion or two, and heckled the refs . “Oh, and there’s Mark Capr iott i ,” he sa id point ing out one of the p layers on the court . “He’s one of the best – a ta lented player f rom Phi l ly.”

I was cur ious about the costs and how tournament p lay d i ffers f rom al l the other ways one can f i t some bike polo into the week or their l i fe . He admitted that a decent b ike was f ine and probably better for travel ing. Let ’s see - add up the registrat ion fees, throw in some beer and food money, and consider some creat ive lodging and transportat ion ideas to get f rom point A to point B. Sounds affordable, r ight? My guess i s that anything is poss ib le i f you are part of the b ike polo community.

This was a great event overf lowing with p layers and fans. Organizers sh i f t ing

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gears behind-the-scenes had to be responsib le for making i t poss ib le . The organizat ional f inesse required to pul l off a weekend tournament can’t be as easy as learning to r ide a b ike. Teams in the 2010 North American Hardcourt B ike Polo Championships can thank their lucky chains that Madison is home to Jonny Hunter, one of several key organizers for the largest tournament to date in North America. With over 5 years of p lay ing exper ience and as a member of the North American Hardcourt Organiz ing Body, Hunter i s committed to developing successful b ike polo events . I f you are hoping to showcase your b ike polo sk i l l s c lose to home and get involved as a tournament organizer, keep a few things I learned from Jonny in mind.

An event of th is s ize wi l l a lways have loose ends and chal lenges. An important part of keeping the games on schedule is d i rect communicat ion with the teams before and at the event. One souvenir f rom the Madison tournament is a computer schedul ing program. Hunter advises future organizers , “make sure you have your schedul ing down to a sc ience, use a computer program,…use ours so hopeful ly a l l the work isn’t for just one tourney.” Closer to the court , communicat ion can be improved. Hunter suggests “f ind b ig t imers so the p layers know how much t ime is left in each game. Keep ca l l ing penalt ies .”

Hunter admits grateful ly that Trek’s presence helped leg i t imize the event and opened doors . B ike polo-play ing Trek employees helped secure Trek’s involvement in organiz ing the event. Whi le Hunter managed to compete in the tournament and have fun, h is team “…didn’t compete very wel l . Our team played wel l below our normal level . P lay ing and organiz ing was real ly tough, but I wouldn’t change that , I love the game and that i s why I wanted to organize th is tournament.” With or without sponsors , p layers seem more than

wil l ing to help organize tournaments , volunteer their t ime, and play for rewards that have no cash value. Teams paid $90 to compete in the NAs. The top pr ize was a cash award of $3600 for travel to the World Hardcourt B ike Polo Championships in Ber l in , Germany scheduled for August 13-15.

As b ike polo becomes increas ingly popular, the p layers organiz ing and volunteer ing to expand tournament offer ings wi l l need more help. When asked i f the sport welcomes volunteers who are never going to get on the court with a b ike and mal let , Hunter conf i rmed, “th is tournament would not have happened without those volunteers , they helped bui ld courts , run the schedul ing , got water, food, a l l k inds of work. Those fo lks deserve the most credit .” The referees are a lso volunteers , and as expected, “the best refs are the best p layers ,” according to Hunter.

After spending one afternoon at NAs, I counted mysel f among the target audience that would pay to watch a b ike polo tournament. I t ’s n ice to know that I can watch the local c lub pract ice on Sunday afternoons, but I wouldn’t mind seeing some regional r iva lr ies p layed out more dramatica l ly or in an indoor venue. Whi le the pace of the tournament was re laxed, I wondered how anyone could condit ion themselves to p lay hours of b ike polo in the

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heat , catch up with o ld and new fr iends, and stay out late for the after part ies . Maybe E l ton John music has something to do with i t? I predict there wi l l come a day when spectators wi l l pay to watch the act ion on the court . Hunter agrees, “ Yes, I th ink once th is sport grows a b i t more we can charge for h igh qual i ty matches. I don’t see th is as the norm, but I can see i t happening for major tournaments.”

Another major tournament awaits North American Hardcourt B ike Polo Champions Mark Capr iott i , Nick Vaughan, and Chr is Roberts – aka, The Odds. They had their s ights set on travel ing to Ber l in for the 2010 World Hardcourt B ike Polo Championships wel l before winning NAs. Tournament p lay against each other over the years brought th is t r io together and they ’ve managed to pract ice as a team despite l iv ing in 3 d i fferent c i t ies . P lay ing together in Madison was not a f i rst date for these seasoned tournament p layers , but Vaughan admits , “ i t was the tr ia l run for the team.” Never mind that Vaughan traveled to NAs with a secret weapon – the Batt leAxe by FBM - a b ike he had only been on for one week.

Knowing each other ’s strengths and weaknesses, some pick up games before NAs, and 2 days of round robin p lay prepared The Odds for Sunday ’s f ina l game and v ictory. Capr iott i acknowledges pract ice is necessary to be good at b ike polo, but “ i t ’s even more important to pract ice together, s ince at th is point you cannot be successful in b ike polo unless you work wel l as a team.” Vaughan and Capr iott i both recognize that sk i l l and exper ience helped them win the tournament, but Vaughan a lso credits adaptabi l i ty and a wi l l ingness to learn from other teams.

With pr ize money, passports , and bragging r ights as the NA champs in their court , The Odds are off to Ber l in to learn more and reunite with p layers they faced in

Madison, inc luding Jonny Hunter. This wi l l be Vaughan’s f i rst t ime across the ocean. Capr iott i has never p layed polo outs ide of North America. Hunter has traveled often for polo and knows f i rsthand that i t i s both expensive, but worthwhi le . Hunter appreciates that travel means, “you get to meet fo lks f rom al l over who can connect on the same level .”

Good luck to the NA Champs, Hunter, and everyone e lse headed to Worlds . May you avoid paying extra fees to get those b ikes on the p lane and gett ing f ined by the German pol ize i for not having at least one hand brake on your b ike. There wi l l be so much to explore as b ike polo p layers in a new c i ty with fresh compet it ion and eager spectators await ing your arr iva l .

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Territory

by andy buteyn Photographs by C indy Buteyn

My wife, C indy, to ld me about the Warr ior Dash and immediately I sa id, “Register us!” By the t ime we registered there were only two heats open. Once I committed to doing the Warr ior Dash, I dec ided to do i t a l l the way and hold nothing back.

Cin and I drove to the park ing s i te and I was amazed at the level of organizat ion. Everyone parked in the raceway f ie ld and queued up to r ide a cont inuous l ine of buses to the actual event s i te . We got to the Warr ior Dash several hours ear ly to soak up the atmosphere and wrap our heads around the event.

Arr iv ing at the s i te , the most overwhelming feature was the mud. Mud everywhere. The previous n ight torrent ia l ra ins had soaked the area. The grounds crew la id straw down to make the fest iva l grounds walkable. Step off the straw and end up ankle deep in mud soup. Everyone was covered head-to-toe in mud. I t was a badge of courage.

Eventual ly our heat t ime arr ived. As I anxious ly waited to start , the MC shouted g ibber ish and pleasantr ies . F inal ly, f i re cannons shot a b laze h igh into the a ir. This marked the start of our run through the obstac les .

I am not a pace person, especia l ly in a race sett ing. I f there are people in f ront of me I wi l l chase them. I know this . I am not a real runner. I started the Warr ior Dash too fast--way too fast . As I sa id, I p lanned on doing i t a l l out . So I f igure, “oh wel l .” I chug out , pass ing weaker l inks , running with reckless abandon and not even consider ing what e lse I had to face--the obstac les .

My memory of the order in which the obstac les occurred is hazy (at best) and di fferent f rom the route shown on the web s i te but I do remember running through a winding , muddy tree maze that begged to ro l l an ankle. I remember c l imbing over a g iant wire spool ( thankful ly there was a bott le neck at the spool a l lowing me to catch my breath) . Next , I th ink we went down a h i l l which opened up to the rows of junked cars we had to

MUD SWEAT BEERS

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c l imb over. No hood s l id ing l ike the Dukes or Hutch.

Over the cars , up a h i l l , to a ser ies of four-foot ta l l wal ls to hurdle. One hurdle caught my knee. I reta ined a souvenir in the form of a s l iver. Next , we went up a muddy, rutty h i l l leading to a crawl-through tube (with another fortunate bott le-neck breath catcher) . Then down a steep muddy hi l l and across a deep rav ine on a s ix- inch wide board. At the base of the next h i l l was a twenty by twenty-foot mud pit . The p it was three feet deep. An event volunteer guy was yel l ing , “Just keep going or you’re gonna lose a shoe!” I made i t about hal f-way across before the s l ippery mud got the best of me and I face p lanted. Weighed down with s l ick mud, we charged up yet another h i l l . T ime for another bott le-neck break at the “c l imb over the corrugated plast ic tube” obstac le . The g ir l in f ront of me was having some trouble with th is one and I was able to g ive her a hand over.

I turned to face the next obstac le and for a minute I was afra id I was in a zombie movie. The l i tt le abandoned c i ty set was

eer ie . Then I remembered I was running. The c i ty-th ing rambled and meandered. I ’m sure there were a couple of h i l l s in there too. I ran a b i t . I ran up and over a straw mound l ike a f l ight of sta irs , in two mighty steps.

The end was gett ing near.

I spr inted to the cargo net c l imb--piece of cake. I saw the f in ish l ine and got a l i tt le charged up. I t ’s just through the t i res , around the corner and done! I p icked up my pace again. No rol led ankle on the t i res! “Keep rol l ing ,” I te l l mysel f, “ I got th is .” Then I h i t the ser ies of ten-foot ta l l hi l l s that wind and wind and never seem to stop. I was so c lose to the f in ish but I had to stop and suck a ir. I dashed over the two f i re bars , dove under the barbed wire, waded through two feet of mud and spr inted to the f in ish.

After f in ishing , I sensed a camarader ie with my fe l low warr iors . In our mud-covered f lesh there was fami ly. Real ly weird.

Maybe i t was the beer.

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sports Ut i l i z ing Food

1. haggis hurl ing In a genre dominated by seeing how far you can project d i fferent

edib les , th is i s a c lear standout. Haggis hur l ing seems s imple enough, stand atop a whiskey barrel , take a im, and throw your

haggis ( tender boi led sheep’s heart , lung and l iver with spices , onions, suet and oatmeal and stock - stuffed in a sheep’s paunch, and

boi led for three hours) as far as you can. But , take care not to burst your haggis , for i t must be f i t to eat upon landing.

2. Cheese rol l ing Invented over 200 years ago, th is i s an o ld ie but a goodie. Contestants chase a round block of cheese (preferably double g loucester) down a h i l l (preferably steep and uneven) . Winner gets the cheese!

3. watermelon ski ing Final ly, one for the vegans. Lay out a long tarp, s lather i t with watermelon innards, st ick each foot in a watermelon, and get 2 teammates to pul l you with a rope as fast and far as poss ib le. A las , nothing remains to be eaten at the end.

Joe Beno’s Top 3

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shutterfold

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photos by Jami topolovich

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Upon first glance, it appears as though you’ve walked by an elementary school midway through recess. A giant orange rubber ball flies through the air and cheers echo down the first baseline. Looking past the team tents, signs, coolers and fans, you see adults of all ages, and instantly realize this is no ordinary game, and this is definitely not recess. Competitors from states up and down the east coast, representing

teams from New York to Florida, have traveled to Washington, DC for the second annual Kickball365 Open Tournament. Yes, that’s right, competitive adult kickball. This time, though, bragging rights are not the only thing up for grabs. A cash prize of $3,000 will be awarded to this year’s champion. And the good news—this is only the beginning.

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Adult kickball isn’t a new concept. It has been around DC for several years, but tended to be segmented league by league. That’s where Kickball365 comes in. Started in 2006, Kickball365 is the premier adult kickball portal for the world. In addition to its open online forum, it provides kickball-related news, sponsors Kickball Tournaments across the country,

and hosts a National Kickball Power Poll – an independent ranking of the best adult kickball teams in the country. On any given day, the chats featured on the forum receive an average of 300 posts from players and fans alike.

But don’t be fooled---adult kickball is nothing to be taken lightly. As teams are formed, players drafted, tryouts held and official practice schedules sent out, athletes are trained and developed. Rosters are carefully decided upon and strategies are formed. Some teams have been known to go on scouting missions at nearby universities to find the cream of the crop. Jon Simon, captain of JKI says “We’re all friends off the field and rivals on it. That being said, the heat on the field is quite intense when we play. We all HATE losing.”

Only after watching a tournament can the competition afforded through the sport of kickball be truly appreciated. Several teams, like the Meatballs, hailing from southern Florida, travel to multiple tournaments each year. Kickball provides more than a chance for adults to play a game—it brings friends together, new and old, provides a fun way to travel the country, and on more than one occasion, has served as an introduction for future newlyweds!

“To those who think that Kickball is still some silly recreational sport meant more for competitive drinking than actual competition, here’s another tidbit: the Meatballs have won more than $10K in prize money this year - and we’re only in July. For a team that carries 15-17 players on its roster, that’s nearly a $1,000 a person. Granted, not nearly enough to make a living on, but certainly enough to recoup some travel expenses,” says Karl P. of Wu Tang Killers. “And this is a sport that is only in its infancy. There was a time when people laughed about a bunch of guys who got together to throw balls through peach baskets in a gym. Now Kobe Bryant is laughing all the way to the bank.”

In 2010, Kickball365 developed an official rulebook and began its tournament series, The Circuit. In its inaugural year, The Circuit will host four tournaments, and plans to nearly double that next year, with events coast to coast. Each tournament will award a cash prize to the winners, and will raise money to benefit a

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philanthropy of the Event’s choice. Similar to NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Series, beyond the individual tournament winnings, teams can continue their participation in multiple Circuit Events and vie for the Annual Circuit Cup. Official Circuit Events will draw major sponsors, and will feature not only a one-day tournament, but a weekend of events. This year’s third Circuit Event, the Kickball365 Open Tournament, began with a Meet & Greet party, where pools were drawn, and players were welcomed. Post-tournament victories were celebrated at the Saturday night after-party, and the weekend ended with a Major League Soccer DC United / LA Galaxy game and tailgate on Sunday, where Kickball365 had the opportunity to go out on the field and test out their star power on the Jumbo Tron. It was a non-stop event, and one that will not soon be forgotten.

So, what’s in store for the competitive kickball players out there? In a world where you can turn on the TV and watch a national hot dog eating contest, it makes you wonder if kickball will ever go pro. We can’t predict the future, but our fingers are crossed!

If you are looking for more information on The Circuit or just interested in Kickball365, check out some of the links below.

www.kickball365.com

www.kickball365.com/TheCircuit

www.kickball365.com/forum

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Master DebatersMore Dangerous Sport: Kickball vs. Dodgeball

Do you ever feel like being a risk-taker?

From time to time, why do you ask?

Because I have been playing kickball, and there’s a potential for injury that just makes adrenaline surge through my veins.

We’re talking about kickball? The one played on baseball diamonds or grass fields? What color panties are you wearing?

And I’m guessing you have a more thrilling sport in mind? Quidditch? Candy Land?

How about dodgeball? First, let’s look at the arenas: a nice safe baseball field with freshly poured dirt or a worn hardwood floor inside an unforgiving gym? Seems pretty clear.

What our field lacks in hardness we make up in random obstacles. Running through an outfield to catch a rubber ball is made a lot more dangerous with rogue sticks jabbing at your feet.

Floor burns more than those measly sticks. How about equipment? Think about how bad a dodgeball to the face hurts?

Okay, I’ll take that bet: a kickball leaves the foot at 70 miles per hour from the best player. A dodgeball clocks in at a mere 33 miles per hour.

Hmm, well, the pitcher is really the only person on the field at risk of taking the brunt of the kick. In dodgeball, the space is smaller so the throw can be more devastating.

Kickball is part baseball, which means frequent sliding if you are competitive. Try doing that with just shorts on.

The word dodgeball evokes the verb “to dodge,” which translates to sometimes leaping from side to side. On hardwood.

Despite its nautical advantages, the hockey air horn fell to the Vuvuzela, otherwise known as the bane of the World Cup viewing audience. It appears that our readers got soccer fever and couldn’t look past the novelty nature of the African horn - but what do I know? I still think that my rally cap can turn the tide of a game.

Master Debaters message board

I must conclude with the lighter side of injuries: running bases can really be a strain of the legs. Cramps, pulls, tears.

So your panties are pink?

I really do hate you. With the passion of ten-thousand suns do I hate you.

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w i n a t-s h i r t

Danger Dodgeball

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danger! dodgebal l

Some obscure sports trans late wel l to iPhone apps - beer pong saturates the market , and most of the games based on that sport are re lat ive ly good - but there hasn’t been a real knockout dodgebal l game. Wel l , Danger! Dodgebal l i s st i l l not a s lam dunk.

Using the iPhone’s advanced accelerometer, the app pits you against a formidable opponent ins ide a gym. Us ing the iPhone as a whole, you

can dodge thrown bal ls by t i l t ing the phone to the left and r ight with vary ing degrees of speed to effect ively miss being h i t . S l id ing your f inger across the screen vert ica l ly throws the bal l , as you try to h i t your adversary who is cont inual ly moving hor izontal ly at a steady pace. Power ups can be col lected, inc luding the abi l i ty to throw an overs ized dodgebal l and three bal ls at a t ime, adding a more cartoonish nature to the a lready chi ld ish game.

Whi le the mechanics of the game are sol id - the accelerometer i s fa i r ly accurate and a f ine control ler - and the graphics are sharp on the screen, the app is weighed down by i ts monotonous nature and lack of mult ip lay. The game seems l ike a good start but i t does seem l ike an appl icat ion that was a great idea that just f i zz led. The technology is there, but i t feels l ike an unf in ished product , even with i ts $0.99 pr ice tag.

2 1/2 out of 5

iscore basebal l/ iref-kickbal l

Made by Faster Than Monkeys for ESPN, iScore Basebal l i s a stat ist ics program designed

iPhone Appz Review

by M ichael Votto

iScore Baseball

iRef-Kickball

25

for basebal l coaches to track their p layers through their iPhones. Taking the p lace of scor ing books, with their pages f i l led with l ines and f i l led in d iamonds, iScore l i tera l ly puts everything you could poss ib ly need for management at your f ingert ips . Whi le i t i s made especia l ly for use in basebal l leagues, a few tweaks can make i t useful for the more tech-savvy league operator.

The mechanics of bal ls and str ikes are there, but i t wouldn’t be an ESPN app i f i t d idn’t take i t a step further. Near ly a l l poss ib i l i t ies are covered in th is excel lent ly produced program - p i tch locat ion, batt ing spray charts , passed bal ls - and that ’s just the t ip of the iceberg. Managing the stat ist ics of several teams is supported and gett ing the informat ion to your computer i s made s imple - the app a l lows for export ing the games through emai l in several d i fferent formats . Adding even more layers to th is great appl icat ion, you can a lso broadcast the game l ive through iScorecast , a l lowing members of your league to enjoy the ongoing batt le onl ine

through their web browsers .

Whi le knowledge of a scorebook can help with interpretat ion of the stats , one of the b igger se l l ing points i s that you don’t have to know much about scorebooking with i ts intuit ive interface. With a l i tt le ingenuity and modif icat ion, iScore can be a game-changer for the most ser ious of commiss ioners . Expanding stat ist ics f rom s imple h i ts and zeroes to more in-depth metr ics could make a league seem more ser ious to i ts loyal part ic ipants . Loyalty equals dol lars , and th is ten-dol lar app could help you reta in bundles .

What iScore lacks , iRef-K ickbal l makes up in speci f ic i ty. Sometimes a program as a l l -encompass ing as iScore can be a l i tt le too much, and that ’s where iRef-Kickbal l takes advantage. Made with the game in mind, iRef has a real str ipped down interface and is t ru ly a imed at the f ie ld monitors of stat-based leagues. Fol lowing the off ic ia l ru les of the nat ional sports league WAKA, scorekeeping is kept re lat ive ly s imple with bal ls , str ikes , outs , and fouls . Beyond that , iScore outperforms iRef on every other level . The abi l i ty to log teams is not as sophist icated as ESPN’s app, as i t does not indiv idual ize p layers instead re ly ing on just overal l team score. The emai l ing funct ional i ty i s not as robust e i ther, but i t was surpr is ing that i t was even inc luded in the re lease.

In the end, i f you are a volunteer monitor looking for an eas ier way to keep track of score and don’t need the bel ls and whist les of iScore, iRef i s an adequate opt ion at $0.99.

iScore - 5 out of 5 iRef-K ickbal l - 2 1/2 out of 5

26

Throughout th is art ic le , I wi l l be referr ing to games as “team disc” or “f ly ing d isc” games. Due to trademark reasons, I cannot use the vernacular that i s often attr ibuted to near ly a l l these games. But i f you need help remembering what these “discs” look l ike, I h ighly recommend you take a hard look at the inc luded graphic representat ion. That should help.

I t i s easy to stereotype who is throwing f ly ing d iscs around: long-haired, typica l ly t ie-dyed l i steners of the Grateful Dead

who are only doing i t because they lost their favor i te footbag (honest ly, th is i s another trademark reason - f rom the same company) . Yes , i t i s an extremely s imple act iv i ty to partake in whi le , say, wait ing for Dave Matthews to come out and jam at Bonnaroo. But th is round plast ic d isc has morphed into something of greater s igni f icance over the years .

Ideas have been born, games have been played, and money has been made. That i s the s ign of a true sport i sn’t i t? The truth is that a bas ic f ly ing d isc has been ut i l i zed to create some of the most p layed games in our nat ion’s h istory, and is a lso part of a new wave of sport-hybr ids that could potent ia l ly be the next b ig th ing i f g iven a b ig push by league organizers .

The “o” liST

FiVe BeST FlYiNG

DiSC SPorTS

by michael votto

27

5. kanJam

We’ve ment ioned KanJam within the pages of th is magazine before, but when this topic came up, several members of our staff immediately turned their attent ion to th is unique take on f ly ing d iscs . Consist ing of two teams of two, the object of the game is to use teamwork to get the d isc to connect with two can-sty le goals . Unl ike more tradit ional games, you can score in three ways: by def lect ing the f ly ing d isc into the s ide of the goal , h i tt ing i t on your own, and s lamming the d isc down through the top of the can. Each have di fferent point va lues, and i t even has an “ instant win” move, which happens when the d isc g l ides into the smal l s lot on the front of the goal .

The game is r i s ing in popular i ty, leaving the conf ines of col lege campuses (where most of these sports seem to be born) and making i ts way into the chi ldhoods of k ids around the country. The owners of KanJam have moved c lose to 15,000 k i ts on their website, as wel l as contracted with school d istr icts to inc lude the game in gym c lasses. With the popular i ty of k ickbal l and dodgebal l growing everyday, th is i s nothing but a good s ign for an up-and-coming obscure sport .

4. s C h t i C k d i s C

Developed at R ice Univers i ty in the 1990’s , Scht ick Disc i s a modif ied vers ion of the more popular f ly ing d isc game Ult imate. The footbal l f ie ld i s cut down into two “worlds ,” each owned by one s ide. Two “scoreboxes” s i t in the exact middle of these c i rc les , and players must handle mult ip le d iscs to score goals . The b iggest deviat ion from Ult imate comes from the a l lowance of p layers running whi le holding the d isc , a b ig no-no in the Ult imate realm. The addit ion of extra d iscs and the abi l i ty to move with them makes Scht ick a more tact ica l game than Ult imate. When each

team is in possess ion of the d isc , both teams have to balance their offens ive attack with a sol id defens ive presence.

Perhaps the construct ion of the game and the frant ic nature of i ts p lay wi l l a lways keep th is as a cur ios i ty, i t i s a f resh take on Ult imate that adds a more h igh energy e lement to i ts a l ready winning formula.

3. d o d g e d i s C

When you set out to introduce a new sport , sometimes you have to borrow from another. Heavi ly. And in the case of Dodge Disc , you just replace a bal l with a d isc .

Born from the minds of the Japanese, th is game is s imply dodgebal l with f ly ing discs , and can be p layed in a mult i tude of locat ions: beaches, gyms, even larger sports complexes. A l l the ru les of dodgebal l are intact , but Dodge Disc seems to lend i tse l f more to f inal shootouts than i ts rubberbal l counterpart . The f inal batt le between two indiv idual part ic ipants can be exc i t ing , as each player attempts to wield mult ip le discs in unison to secure v ictory.

Surpr is ingly, th is game hasn’t caught on much in the United States , but i t i s st i l l ear ly in the l i fe of Dodge Disc . P lay ing with regular p last ic f ly ing d iscs can be quite dangerous in a sport l ike th is , but there are off ic ia l dodge discs which are made out of a compacted foam that doesn’t decrease speed, whi le keeping the p layers safe f rom in jury.

2. d i s C g o l F

The oldest game on the l i st , D isc Golf i s a by-product of the actual invent ion of the modern f ly ing d isc in the ear ly 1900’s . The pass ionate resurgence and prominence of the game came in the 1960’s , when munic ipal parks began to insta l l D isc Golf courses in Ohio. The modern game of Disc Golf resembles the sport of gol f a lmost ident ica l ly with smal l changes to goals and

Facebook group of the month: DISC DODGE

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course setup.

The construct ion of the game is not as interest ing as the construct ion of the courses. In order to have a true-to-form Disc Golf course, i t a l l starts at the “tee pad,” a usual ly concrete p latform where p layers can make their dr ive. The level surface a l lows the p layer to increase their accuracy and throwing power. At the end of the hole, instead of having a d isc-s ized recess in the ground (that would look r id iculous) , there is a pole hole made of metal and chains ca l led “the basket .” Whi le th is seems l ike a better opt ion than toss ing a d isc into a hole, t ry ing to successful ly “putt ” into the basket i s an acquired sk i l l .

Most courses are found on park land, but there is a growing amount of pr ivate Disc Golf courses popping up around the country. I ts popular i ty i s sa id to have peaked dur ing the ear ly 2000’s , but ev idenced by the increas ing number of Disc Golf teams popping up at univers i t ies and the presence of the Pro Disc Golf World Championship, th is sport seems l ike i t i s here to stay.

1. U lt i m at e

Come on - you knew that th is was going to be number one. For those of you who are unfami l iar with the game (and whoever you are, for shame!) , Ult imate is bas ica l ly footbal l without a l l that h i tt ing. Oh, and i t i s p layed with a f ly ing d isc . Whi le the ru les of footbal l are wel l -known, Ult imate deviates in smal l , but important ways. A

player cannot run with the d isc , as forward movement can only be achieved when the disc i s thrown. The use of a regulat ion footbal l f ie ld remains the standard, but the game can be modif ied to accommodate changes in venue, l ike beaches or even streets .

Ult imate is the most widely p layed of the team disc sports , with nat ional col leg iate championships tak ing p lace every year s ince 1975. Ult imate c lubs at col leges and e lsewhere are common across the United States , and internat ional p lay has commenced with the United K ingdom jumping on the bandwagon within the last couple of decades. What has cemented Ult imate’s p lace in the publ ic psyche has l i tt le to do with i ts s low g lobal growth and more to do with phys ica l educat ion programs ut i l i z ing the game in their curr iculum - something the upstart KanJam disc game has recent ly accompl ished.

I developed my love for Ult imate in gym c lass dur ing h igh school , but i t could never tru ly f lour ish because throwing a d isc i s somehow an un- learnable concept for my extremit ies . The best th ing about Ult imate i s that , even despite a handicap l ike mine, you can make yoursel f useful somewhere on the f ie ld. I was good at catching long passes and complet ing short tosses, so I k ind of t racked near the endzone wait ing for a p lay to bui ld . When an out-of-shape, but compet it ive k id can be the MVP of their Ult imate unit in school , you know you are part ic ipat ing in a fa i r ly specia l sport .

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1/2 PAGE... by Jodi Neitzel

In a game of Fowling, or football bowling, two teams compete to knock down all of their opponent’s bowling pins using an NFL football. The game is played in singles or doubles and begins with a coin-toss. The winner has the option to take the first throw or call which Fowling lane they want to defend.

Teams stand on the same side and alternate throwing the ball at the other team’s pins, set up 48 feet apart in the standard 10-pin configuration. Play continues until one team has knocked down all ten pins, securing a frame victory. Official Fowling matches are a best of three frame series.

If the first team to throw knocks down all of the pins, an equalizer throw is awarded to allow the opposing team the opportunity to try to force overtime. If they succeed in knocking over all the pins, the frame is considered a tie and overtime begins.

Men throw from behind the back edge of their lane, which is called the throwing area. The imaginary line that extends along the back edge of the fowling lane is the foul line. A throw is legal as long as the ball is released from behind the foul line. The throwing area for women and children is behind the front edge of the Fowling lane.

Pins knocked over during regular game play are removed from the platform after all pin movement has stopped. This includes any pins that are knocked down as a result of environmental factors or influences outside of the game, including wind, wayward balls from other games and actions of the fans. Once a thrown ball has crossed the foul line, players are free to catch or deflect the ball to defend their pins.

For more informat ion, v is i t www.fowl ing.org

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women seeking men

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Me: huge fan of bike polo. love the mallet, the balls, the whole thing. You: champion player and heading to Berlin for the Worlds. Would be great to have a travel partner. #87402

men seeking women

Looking for a nice woman that isn’t afraid to see a grown man cry. Interests include romantic movies, leisurely walks and sports involving protective gear. #21130

Aggressive, angry type looking to sweat it out in my basement to the tunes of P90x Don’t worry, it won’t hurt. Much! #85903

Hi, I’m kinda nerdy. Looking to live video chat on my iPhone. I have all the lastest appz. #93029

What luck. I answered a listing on here and wound up in jail. Getting out soon. Hope you don’t mind a criminal record. I have lots of money. #649229

women seeking women

Ultimate woman seeks companion. Disc skills a must. Got 2 be into the Grateful Dead and 420 friendly. #78402

men seeking men

Looking for a Big John Stud that is into camping and can help pitch a tent. Love of the outdoors is an absolute. #73820 Hunting for 2 top Bears. If you are my prey, give a jingle. #21130

missed Connections

I pitched against you a couple weeks ago. Me, kinda douchy, you, potty mouth. You said you were getting me a shirt that says “c*nt on it. Still waiting! #73458 I’m kind of a kickball big deal. I saw you at the field yet you

ignored me. Do you know who I am? Unreal. Next time we play one another my team is going to beat your ass. Oh, I think you’re cute though. #351282

Hey, Chris Roberts - Sorry I missed your call the other day. I worked with a Chris Roberts on Madison Avenue in New York back in the mid-90’s! Thanks for trying to reach me before my article was due and your trip to Berlin. Viel Glueck!

ClassifiedGet out of my dreams and into my 1983 Honda Civic. $125 or best offer. #95782

FREE- 1 Beer Dart Set - includes floor mats and 2 metal tip darts. Slihgtly used. Take it off my hands, please! #75930

Looking for someone witty and creative to join contributors team of monthly magazine. Must be dependable, interested, and eager to share ideas. Write a brief description of your interest in this magazine and include any special skills or relevant experience. Answer this month’s contributor question in your last sentence. Send to: dan@obscuresportsmag.com #73920

Looking for that special someone or want to leave us a message?

EMAIL US

email us with your ad idea: personals@obscuresportsmag.com

PERSONALS

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As they approach the bar, she evaluates the entrance s i tuat ion for any obstac les . In one swift , ca lculated move, she pushes the door open with her e lbow, enters and turns to prop i t with her foot . Her f r iends pass through and make their way up the sta irs . She tra i l s s l ight ly behind, paying careful attent ion to each step and res ist ing the urge to grab the d irty handrai l for balance.

They reach the top, enter Fr iday n ight and eager ly s ignal the man s l ing ing dr inks . She pays with her card because she’s read too many stor ies about germ and cocaine covered money to handle cash. As she waits , the woman next to her decides against putt ing up the e lbow shie ld and coughs d irect ly into the palm of her hand - which she then proceeds to drop into the community Petr i d ish of sa l ty snacks s i tt ing on the bar.

S ick .

She hears her f r iends across the bar before she sees them. There’s an intense game of beer pong going on and she’s come prepared to defend her t i t le . She makes her way over and takes her spot at the table.

Her opponent throws the bal l . I t drops just short of the cups and bounces. She tr ies to catch i t but instead def lects i t into the wal l . From there i t t ravels to the next table over, makes a smooth arch to the ground and s lowly ro l ls through a puddle of beer and cola to a stop at her partner ’s feet . As he bends down to retr ieve i t , she scans her surroundings and starts to feel anxiety take over.

And then she spots i t… the plast ic cup of p la in tap water used to r inse off every bal l that takes a s imi lar journey.

Whew, what a re l ief. That was a c lose one.

game on!

I t A l l Comes Out In The Wash

FINAL WORDby Jodi Neitzel

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Coming Up Next Month: red bull flugtag: human powered flying machines

Virgin territory: beer darts, i heard there was blood shed

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