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Coyote Chronicle (1984-) Arthur E. Nelson University Archives

11-24-1999

November 24th 1999 (2) November 24th 1999 (2)

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The Coyote

E c h o e s F r o m T h e H i g h l a n d s VOLUME 34, ISSUE 8 CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, SAN BERNARDINO NOVEMBER 24, 1999

Don't get crushed by the Hoiliday Stress!! Have a little Fun!

Run for your life It's a Man-Eating Ihrkev!

Thanksgiving Day Special November 24, 1999 The Covote Chronicle Page 2

Quotable Quotes for Your Memory Warning: Dates on calendar are

closer then they appear.

In the history of life no good news has followed the sentence. "We have to talk."

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

When one door of happiness close, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

-Helen Keller

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.

-Ziggy

The greatest happiness of lite is the conviction that we are loved-loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.

-Victor Hugo

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.

-Abraham Lincoln

In order to have great happiness,

/T OlROSK DUE

University Hall, Room 037 5500 University Parkway

San Bernardino, CA 92407 (909) 880-5289 (newsroom)

(909) 880-5931 (business office) FAX (909) 880-7009

E-Mail: sbchron@mail.csusb.edu

Staff Writers: Stevie.Kornlover, KM, The Griff, King Air, Gum Girl, Diana the Hunter, Ironic, Doza, Ai, Gonzo, Drano, Fash, Drew

Executive Editor Managing Editor News Editor Features Editor Opinions Editor Arts/Entertainment Editor Sports Editor Copy Editor Design Editor Online Editor Production Assistant Advertising Manager

Mulan

Distribution Manager Faculty Advisor Business Manager

BullFrog The Major

Filipino Love Monkey The Will

Leia Wally

AOL Girl Sailor Moon

BullFrog Mitchell

Phone Man Shooter

Fill Bird MIA

The Coyote Chronicle {The Chronicle) is published on every Thursday during the academic session by the Department of Communication Studies, California State University, San Bernardino.

The opinions expressed in The Chronicle are those of the student writers and editors, and do not reflect the views of the university, its administration or faculty, or any other person or institution unless expressly noted.

The appearance of any advertisement in The Chronicle docs not constitute an endorsement by the newspaper of the goods and services advertised. The Chronicle reserves the right to reject any advertisement it deems inappropriate.

you have to have great pain and unhappiness- otherwise how would you know when you are happy?

-Leslie Caron

These are hundreds of languages in the world, but a smile speaks them all.

I thoroughly disapprove of du­els, however if a man should chal­lenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

-Mark Twain

Love yourself just and every­thing else falls into line. You re­ally have to love yourself to get

anything done in this world. -Lucille Ball

You don't love a woman be­cause she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. -Anonymous

Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are.

-Charles Augustin Sainle-Beauve

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.

children in her arms, you know you really love a woman.

If I know what love is, it is be­cause of you.

True love is knowing a persons fault, and loving them even more for them.

Shop smart, shop Smart! -Ash, Army of Darkness

Being defeated is often a tem­porary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

-Marilyn vos Savant

The best ideas come after you think you've run out of them.

When you can see you un-born Time is a river without banks.

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Useless Facts A mature flathead catfish of the

Mississippi Valley can weigh up to 150 pounds.

Because he and President An­drew "Old Hickory" Jackson were so close, James Polk was often re­ferred to as "young Hickory."

The northernmost city in the U.S. is Barrow, Alaska.

In 1913, the Ford Motor Com­pany establishes the first moving assembly line and established the 40-hour workweek.

James Polk was the only Speaker of the House who went on to become President.

The most popular type of radio station in the U.S. is country.

They make up for a quarter of all commercial stations.

Mozart wrote the Jupiter sym-phony-his last-in less than 16 days.

Michael Jordan took up basket­ball because his parents were wor­ried he would be injured playing football. Short at 14 and under­weight. he was not an immediate success.

Gothic art emerged around the 13th century, with works charac­terized by a linear, graceful, el­egant style, more naturalistic than previous artwork.

A pair of the same kind of dogs is called a brace.

Despite having become an American citizen, film director Alfred Hitchcock was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II of England for his work in film.

The peanut came to be known as the goober because it is a varia­

tion of the Congolese word nguba.

To keep brown sugar soft, put a piece of fresh bread in the con­tainer and close it securely. The following day you will find the sugar soft. Or empty the sugar into a glass jar or clean coffee can with plastic lid, add several marshmal-lows, and close tightly.

The people of Assyria in the an­cient Middle East made ornamen­tal cups from ostrich eggs.

Serenade literally means "evening music." If you were to sing to someone in the morning,

it would be an aubade.

For many years the Belgian mystery writer Georges Simenon wrote, on average, one novel ev­ery eleven days.

Ounce for ounce the strongest bone in the body is the ihighbone-and it's hollow.

The eyelids of snakes do not move. They are fused.

Did you know that a fish called the climbing perch can sometimes live out of water for two days? They can also climb trees.

The disconnect button on a tele­phone is called the plunger.

Leonardo da Vinci invented the scissors.

In a table tennis tournament match in 1936, Alex Ehrlich of Poland and Paneth Farcas of Ru­mania volleyed for 2 hours and 12 minutes on the opening serve.

A strong military leader, Zachary Taylor was given the nick­name "Old Rough and Ready" by his troops.

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More Useless Facts Mint (melhol) sctually has mild

anaesthetic properties. The recep­tors in your skin that register heat are numbed, leaving only a cool sensation.

A lot of Advertising slogans do not translate well when used in foreign countries. Budweiser's 'King of Beers' tagline translates to 'Queen of Beers' in Spanish.

There is a hotel in Jukkagaerui, Sweden which is built entirely out of ice, it is built each fall and melts each May.

early police uniforms

The Granny Smith apple origi­nated in 1869 when Maria Ann Smith planted seeds rotting in a gin barrel in New South Wales, Aus­tralia.

The expression 'wet your whistle' came from England. Since the pubs could get rather noisy, the makers of the ceramic beer mugs began to bake whistles inot the handles. So when you wanted a drink, you would 'wet your whistle.'

Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morn­ing then caffeine.

Alfred Hitchcokc had no belly button for it was eliminated dur­ing surgery.

Napolean made his battle plans in a sandbox.

Babies are born without knee caps. They appear when a child is 2-6 years of age.

The life of a taste bud is ten days.

The terms'Cops'originated with Women blink twice as many Goldfish swallowing started at the copper shields and buttons of times as men do. Harvard in 1939.

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Thanksgiving Day Special November 24, 1999 The Coyote Chronicle Page 4

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210-lb. Man-Eating Turkey Attacks CSUSB Campus A Fictional Story

By Jorgie Salazar

'BaMtfanlndtMiiyatfv«raac«.Local«tote|»lee«mayvary. ...V «19W BieWOROS. Ine.

Thanksgiving is quickly ap­proaching and it is the lime of year where we all get a little bit "Tur­key Crazy". Around this time of year millions of people think about nothing other than eating turkey with all the fixings. Thanksgiving is infamous for the consumption of millions innocent turkeys each year. But what happened at Cali­fornia State University San Ber­nardino is an isolated act of retali­ation.

Apparently, disgruntled scien­tist, Dr. Anita Goodstory in her laboratory was attempting to breed the largest corn fed turkey in cap­tivity. After many failed attempts she decided to simply create a tur­key using the latest advancements in cloning and DNA splicing. What she came up with was a Jiv­ing breathing 210-pound man eat­ing turkey monster. She immedi­ately began entering it into County Fairs up and down the California coast. It was a natural progression that after winning all the awards and prizes they move on to bigger better things. Unfortunately, the next logical step was to take the giant bird to cock fights in nearby Muscoy. The turkey monster was unstoppable, destroying every op­ponent it faced.

Until one fateful night when the fighting turkey was entered into competition, all of the trainers pulled their fighters. The crowd rioted and some of the cages were rattled working up the birds. A few nf fhf r"i(Tpc wprp nnoned allow-, N V > . V \ r ^ V . V V

ing the excited poultry to attack the audience. The police came and arrested' Dr. Goodstory as she watched her turkey monster escape into the night. The police search came up empty, they were unable to find a 210-pound man eating turkey running loose.

There have been several turkey monster sightings, mostly coming from local supermarkets around the CSUSB campus. It was harass­ing the customers who were pur­chasing ingredients and supplies for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Then most recently, the man-eating turkey was seen on campus.

The turkey overheard a couple of the dorm residents were discuss­ing having to eat turkey dinner in the commons. The turkey monster then followed the students to cam­pus, where it went on a rampage destroying everything in its path, leaving a trail of its huge claw prints.

The campus police were unable to catch the giant turkey. It fled into the back hills before Animal Control could be called. The search for the giant turkey contin­ues. Many are wondering where exactly the 210-pound man eating turkey could be. If you are hop­ing to catch a glimpse of the mon­ster, it has been rumored that at night it comes down to drink from the sprinklers that water the grass at CSUSB. All I know is, on Thanksgiving Day I will be a 210-nound man. eating turkev.

£ir'i .V B B rt H •

Thanksgiving Day Games November 24. 1999 The Covote Chronicle

1. What you eat off of 2. People close to you 3. Bill Cosby's favorite dessert toppings 4. I'm going to make out of you. 5 . chandelier 6. If you eat to much you'll get 7. Sliver of wood used after eating 8. Mayflower Passengers 9. The people that were here first 10. Round pie 11. What is said before eating dinner 12. What does a cartoon turkey say 13. The cloth on the table 14. What will rot in your fridge forever 15. What goes inside the turkey 16. A holiday sauce 17. Poured oh mashed potatoes

Ballons Blessing Corn Cranberry Dressing Floats Football Gobble Gravy Ham

Indians Nap Parade Pie Pilgrim Pumpkin Rolls Stuffing Sweet Potatoes Turkey