8/2/2019 Never Say to Boss

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NineThingsNevertoSaytoYourBoss

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ByMeganMalugani,MonsterContributingWriter,andCharlesPurdy,MonsterSeniorEditor

Thinkbeforeyouspeakisalwaysagoodpolicy--andatworkit'sevenmoreimportant.Sayingthewrongthingtoyourbosscandoseriousdamagetoyourcareer--andsomeofthethingsbossesdon'tliketohearmaysurpriseyou.Wecheckedinwithsomemanagersandcameupwiththislistofninephrasestheystronglydislike--andwe'lltellyouwhatyoushouldsayinstead:

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1."Ineedaraise."

Neverentersalarynegotiationstalkingaboutwhatyouneed--becauseofrisingcostsoranewexpense,forinstance.Youremployerdoesn'tcareaboutyourfinancialproblems.However,managementprobablydoeswanttorewardsuccessandke

ephigh-performingemployeessatisfied.Araiserequestshouldalwaysbesupportedbyevidenceofwhatyou'veachievedforthecompany--alongwithinformationaboutwhatpeoplewithyourresponsibilitiestypicallyearn.

2.Thatjustisntpossible.

Alwaysspeaktoyourbossintermsofwhatcanbedone.Forinstance,ratherthansayingWecantgetthisdonebyFriday,sayWecoulddefinitelygetthisdonebyonday,orifwebroughtinsomefreelancehelp,wecouldmeettheFridaydeadline.Whenyoutalktoyourboss,thinkintermsofsolvingproblemsforher,notintermsofputtingproblemsonherplate.

3.Icantstandworkingwith____.

Complainingaboutacoworker'spersonalityusuallyreflectsmorepoorlyonyouthanonthecoworker.Dontmakethesekindsofconflictsyourbosssproblem.Ofcourse,managementisinterestedinproblemsthatjeopardizethecompany'sabilitytofunction.IfyouhavetospeaktoHRaboutaproblemsuchasacolleague'sthreatening,illegalorunethicalbehavior,keepyourtoneprofessionalandthefocusonwork--notpersonalissues.

4.Ipartiedtoohardlastnight--I'msohungover!

Buckupandgetthroughthedaywithsomeibuprofen,extraundereyeconcealerandcoffee.Butdontsharethesordiddetailsofyournightonthetownwithyourboss.Evenifyouhaveafriendlyrelationship,hesjustaslikelytoreactwith(

unspoken)disdainassympathy.Maintainingasolidveneerofprofessionalismwillpayoffwhenit'stimetodiscusspromotions.

5.ButIemailedyouaboutthatlastweek.

Alertingyourbosstoaproblemviaemaildoesn'tabsolveyouofallresponsibilityforit.Bosseshatethe"outofmyoutbox,outofmymind"attitude.Keeptabsonallcriticalissuesyouknowabout--andkeepcheckinginuntilyouhearafirm"Youdon'tneedtoworryaboutthatanymore."

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6.Itsnotmyfault.

Areyouawhiny8-year-oldoratake-chargeprofessional?Assumeresponsibilityandtakestepstofixaproblemthatyoudid,infact,create.Andifyouarebeingwronglyblamedforaproblem,sayingLetsgettothebottomofthisorWhatcanwedotomakeitright?ismuchmoreeffectivethansayingItsnotmyfault.

7."Idon'tknow.

Ifyourbossasksyouaquestionyoucantanswer,thecorrectresponseisnot"Idon'tknow."It's"I'llfindoutrightaway."

8.Butwe'vealwaysdoneitthisway."

Youmayfindyourselfwithanewbosswhowantstotrynewthings--andthebestwaytopresentyourselfasaworkplacerelicistomeetchangewitha"wedoitthiswaybecausethisisthewaywedoit"attitude.Whenabrainstormingsessiontakesplace,bepartofitandstayopentonewideas.Ifyouhaveconcernsaboutanewidea'sfeasibility,say"Ithinkforthistowork,wewillhaveto"Don'tkillnewideaswithnegativity.

9.Letmesetyouupwith...

Avoidtheurgetoplaymatchmakerforyoursingleboss.Thepotentialriskfaro

utweighsanypotentialbenefit.Inmodernworkplaces,hierarchicalstructuresareoftenlessrigid,andbosseswilloftenendupinsemisocialsituationswiththeirdirectreports.Smartworkerswilldrawthelineat"oversharing"--definitelysomethingtokeepinmindifyou'reconnectingtoyourcompany'smanagersonsocialnetworkslikeFacebook.