Myths about Domestic Adoption They say blood is thicker than water, but in the case of adoptive parents love is stronger than the bond formed by blood. There are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings that can deter prospective parents from looking into the adoption process. You may have heard how difficult and lengthy the process can be. You may have heard that there are too many negative outcomes. Today, we want to put those myths and misconceptions to rest. Myth #1: Adopting Takes Too Long and Costs Too Much Money Several couples and parents who look into adopting are under the impression that the process can be lengthy. To a certain extent, that belief is indeed true. However, the five-year wait has definitely been disproven. Adoption agencies and adoption lawyers have spoken out against this misconception. They’ve assured parents that the average wait can be a year to two years. In terms of the fees, the cost of a domestic adoption can vary widely depending on the adoption agency, the laws in a particular state and the type of adoption. The cost of adoption of an infant is generally around $32,000. Because most adoption agencies are non-profit organizations, they work to keep fees to a minimum; some agencies have recently been able to lower costs by 11%. When people look into adoption, they are often blown away by this cost, but we have to clear up one thing—you aren’t “buying” a child. Keep in mind this money pays for things like prenatal care for the birth mother and unborn child, social work counseling, the parent evaluation, consultations with the adoption agency and other things designed to benefit the parents and child. Myth #2: Open Adoptions Are Messy It’s hard to overgeneralize any aspect about adoption because no two cases are the same. One claim that’s surfaced is the belief that an open adoption can be harmful to an adopted child. When adoptive parents make arrangements to partake in an open adoption, they will have their own sets of rules and regulations. Each family is different from the next. Some families may be perfectly okay with biological parents being a consistent part of their child’s everyday life. Other parents may prefer limiting communication to letters, emails, etc.

Some parents may be hesitant to agree to an open adoption because they worry a biological parent may overstep their boundaries or show up unexpectedly. There’s also a concern about birth parents trying to regain custody of the child. Nevertheless, several adoptive mothers will be happy to share their adoption stories about birth mothers who are not looking to intrude or disturb the life you, as a parent, are trying to establish for your child. The parents that choose to remain a part of their child’s life do so because they want to see that they’ve made the right decision. When it comes to an adoptive child’s relationship with a biological mother, it’s important to be open and honest with them to avoid any miscommunication or confusion. Many adoption agencies are happy to reveal that children don’t have problems distinguishing the difference in relationships with their adoptive parents and their birth parents. Myth #3: The Teenage Mother Stereotype The perception of adoption continues to evolve. However, the stereotypes about birth mothers involved with adoption remain negative for many people. There’s the notion that birth mothers placing their child for adoption are “irresponsible” young girls. However, the truth is this sacrifice is a painful decision that’s made to ultimately better their son or daughter’s life in the long run. Society continues to believe that a large percentage of these birth mothers are reckless teenagers who made a regretful mistake. In reality, many of the mothers who find themselves making this difficult decision are in their twenties and thirties. Several of these mothers may already have one child, and are following through with an adoption because of a shortage of funds or time. Many adoption agencies support this selfless decision because mothers and parents feel this sacrifice will bring a better life to their unborn child. Myth #4: Adopted Children Are Troubled Individuals To believe that adopted children will grow up to be troubled individuals is a damaging misconception. The belief that adopted children face developmental and emotional setbacks is disheartening. Recent research actually suggests the polar opposite: children who have been adopted show a stronger ability to adjust to environments and adversities compared to their non-adopted friends and classmates. In a study conducted by Growing Up Adopted, research revealed that adopted children have positive self-esteem. They found these rates to be equal to or higher than their peers. This same study found that adoptive children develop a strong attachment with their adoptive parents. This dissolves the belief that adoptive families don’t have the same strong bonds as a family related by blood.

The Gritty Truth It’s ultimately up to you to dispel these misconceptions and stereotypes. These myths can carry out serious consequences that can affect all parties involved. These false beliefs can keep a child from finding loving parents. This can also distress women who are contemplating placing their child up for adoption. They may hesitate to make the decision due to fear of feeling judged or misrepresented. At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that the fundamental goal is building a good life for a child. Adopting a child is an important decision that requires careful consideration. Are you contemplating adoption, or are you already planning to adopt a child? Do you have any idea about how or where to start? Action Adoption at Providence Place of San Antonio, Texas will guide you through the adoption process while making sure all your questions are answered. Contact them today to learn more about adoption and ways to get involved with our organization.