My Near-Death Adventures (99% True!) by Alison DeCamp | Chapter Sampler

7272019 My Near-Death Adventures (99 True) by Alison DeCamp | Chapter Sampler

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N EA R- D EA T HAD V E N T U R E S

A L I S O N D C A M P

M Y

983080 983097 983097 983077

TRUE 983081

Chapter Sampler



MY

NEAR- DEATH

ADVENTURES

( 99 TRUE )

A L I S O N D 983141 C A M P

CROWN BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS

Keep reading for a sneak peek



CHAPTER 1

W ho you callinrsquo uglyrdquo Conrad McAllister asks His

breath could melt the snow right off the roof and I

canrsquot help pinching my nose

ldquoAnd now you sayinrsquo I stinkrdquo

For the record I did not say Conrad was ugly I said hewas ldquo plug uglyrdquo and I whispered it to Lydia Mae

People should not be punished for telling the truth

Mama always says ldquoThe Lord does not bless a lierdquo and it is

not a lie that Conrad McAllisterrsquos parents had to tie a pork

chop to his neck when he was little so their dog would play

with himldquoUm Stan thatrsquos a lierdquo Lydia Mae elbows me



2

ldquoDoes he know we can hear himrdquo Conrad says to Lydia

Mae

She shrugs sheepishlyConrad returns his attention to me ldquoWell what do you

have to say for yourself Huhrdquo

I think for a minute What do I have to say for myself

Lydia Mae straightens herself up Shersquos about even with

my shoulder ldquoAnyway Conrad yoursquove got the wrong per-

sonrdquo she says bravely ldquoIrsquom the one who called you uglyrdquoI should not have a girl taking my licks for me I should

step in and take responsibility for my actions I should But

I might not

ldquoAgainrdquo Conrad says ldquowe can hear you you lily- livered

milksoprdquo He takes a step closer his fists clenched

ldquoRun Stan Runrdquo Lydia Mae yells She jumps on Con-radrsquos back yanking the cap over his eyes while he hops

around like a dog with fleas and I take off toward my house

the soles of my boots flip-flopping through the snow

Mama always says Irsquom about as focused as a swarm of

drunken bees but during this run home I am focused Irsquom

focused on staying alive as I make a list in my head of howto avoid Conrad for the rest of my life or at least until hersquos

finally in jail But as soon as I slam the door of the apart-

ment house and am safely inside I spy it and immediately

Conrad McAllister is a distant memory

An envelope Irsquove seen it before And even though my im-

minent death by Conrad McAllisterrsquos ham-hock fists seemsmore important he doesnrsquot really scare me Hersquoll forget this



3

little incident by the next time we meet Also as has been

proven again and again I can outrun him

But the envelope seems suspicious even for someone

who doesnrsquot have what Mama claims is an ldquooveractive imag-

inationrdquo because little things have been happening since itshowed up For one Mama seems to stare off into space a lot

Also her fingers donrsquot stop tapping and Irsquove had to make most

of my own meals since shersquos been working more than ever

meals that have not been of the best quality due to the poor

choice of food I have to work with Leftover meat and stale

bread from the general store where Mama tends the counterdo not lead to much but a lot of dry salt-pork sandwiches

So when I see that envelope on the kitchen counter itrsquos as

hard to ignore as my empty stomach at three orsquoclock in the

afternoon And that reminds me

Itrsquos three orsquoclock in the afternoon

And Irsquom so hungry I could eat everything on a pig butthe oink



4

I stuff a hunk of bread in my mouth instead and look

at the envelope more closely now that I know itrsquos not as

innocent as it looksTo tell Godrsquos honest truth (which of course is the only

kind of truth I ever tell) the first time I saw the envelope

I didnrsquot think much of it Heck it was just an envelope it

didnrsquot look like it would turn my life all topsy- turvy I picked

it up saw the sharp slit across the top and the empty space

inside and set it back on the table Then I got on with some very important business

Planning for my twelfth birthday

I had a fresh catalog and a blank page in my Scrapbook

Plus some scissors I borrowed in the not-asking kind of way

from my mamarsquos bedside table

Just to be clear the scissors are mine They were onlybriefly put somewhere else because of the time my cousin

Geri cut holes in the curtains and blamed it on me To

be fair however those curtains were so ugly they made

onions cry

When I opened the catalog I found a harmonica a sad-

dle some firearms and a trick bankmdash just the simple necessi-ties of any self-respecting almost-twelve- year-old boy

And I didnrsquot think anything more about the envelope

Not that day anyway

Because Mama came peering over my shoulder and

asked me what I was doing and next thing I knew she had

snuggled up to me like butter on warm toast



5

I told her about the

money we would save with a

tricky kind of bank It wouldbe smart to give me one for

my birthday even though

it costs a dollar twenty- five

enough money to feed us for

a week

ldquoIt doesnrsquot cost any-thing to look and very little

to wishrdquo Mama said as she

snipped the picture from the

Montgomery Ward catalog ldquoAlso we have lots of time for

hopingmdash your birthday is almost a whole year awayrdquo

ldquoPractically around the cornerrdquo I replied and Mamasmiled

I remember like it was yesterday because ever since

that envelope arrived Mamarsquos smile has been as scarce as

peaches in January and her eyebrows have been knitted

together so often the crease in between looks carved in stone

A week later I found the envelope crumpled on the tablewhich wouldnrsquot seem suspicious in anyone elsersquos house Irsquom

sure But in our house nothing is crumpled Mama either

irons it throws it away or sends it to its room to put on some

less wrinkly pants She attacks messes like her very soul de-

pends on it If cleanliness is next to Godliness Mama could

be Godrsquos Siamese twin





7

ldquoWe donrsquot have muchrdquo she says ldquobut we take care of

what we haverdquo

Mama has the horrible habit of picking up perfectly finepaper and calling it garbage a habit thatrsquos only gotten worse

in the last couple of weeks If she picks up something once

itrsquos a warning and twice itrsquos in the trash which is why my very

important discoveries are immediately pasted in my Scrap-

book And why Irsquom sometimes found rescuing things from

the garbage And also why the crumpled-up envelope was sostrange just sitting there on the kitchen table

Irsquom not the type of fellow who jumps to conclusions so

although the situation seemed as strange as a dog wearing

glasses I most definitely did not overreact when I spied it for

the second time

I am not known to overreact Also Irsquom pretty sure no oneeven heard me scream

The third time I saw it

however was cause for genu-

ine panic It was eight days

ago and the envelope was

firmly clenched in the clawsof a scary old woman



CHAPTER 2

The old woman grabbed the envelope off the counter

marched into Mamarsquos room and slammed the door

behind her Which was rude if you ask me but if you ask

the old lady who insists I call her Granny she would say itrsquos

none of my business In fact thatrsquos exactly what she saidwhen I asked her ldquoStanley Arthur Slater that is none of

your businessrdquo

To which I replied ldquoHogwashrdquo A saying you will be

surprised to find out that has nothing to do with washing a

hog but rather means ldquoYou donrsquot know what yoursquore talking

about womanrdquoI overheard a little of the conversation with Mama be-

Your manners are

atrocious



9

cause Granny talks very loudly and maybe also because my

ear was pressed so hard against the door it felt like I had akeyhole in my left cheek I had tried looking through the key-

hole but all I could see was Gran-

nyrsquos backside so you can under-

stand why that angle didnrsquot work

The problem was I couldnrsquot

hear much except ldquofresh startrdquoand ldquomoneyrdquo and ldquocamprdquo and

ldquoworthless Arthur Slaterrdquo and

something about a pickle but

donrsquot quote me on that

Hearing the words ldquoArthur

Slaterrdquo made me feel as con-fused as a moth in a room full



10

of candles because it just so happens thatrsquos two-thirds of

my name right there It also just so happens to be the name

of my dearly departed father and most bewildering of allWorthless

Now the envelope lies abandoned on the kitchen coun-

ter apparently dropped or forgotten Itrsquos addressed to Mama

and the words ldquoColorado Texasrdquo curl around the stamp like

a dog chasing its tail The date DEC 14 1894 tattoos half

of Mr George Washingtonrsquos face Personally I think it isnothing short of disrespectful to tattoo Mr Honest George

our forefather who chopped down his very own log cabin

and was the first to sign the Declaration of Dependence

I am a whiz at history I donrsquot mind saying

I nab the envelope not like Irsquom stealing

it more as if I am saving it It seems likeit has some connection to my father and

I donrsquot have anything thatrsquos connected to

my father except for my handsome looks

and a slightly lazy eye Granny says any-

thing that lazy had to have come from my

dad Plus that envelope has been hangingaround so long now I feel like itrsquos a family member the kind

of family member who brings bad news and spits out worse

breath The kind of family member who comes and never

leaves

ldquoWho never leavesrdquo Granny barks as she grumps into

the room I stuff the envelope in my pocket and do my bestimpression of someone innocent



11

I am a whiz at looking innocent I donrsquot mind saying

Unfortunately Irsquom not a whiz at keeping thoughts

tucked firmly between my ears Sometimes those thoughtscome straight out my mouth Fortunately I have become

something of an expert at covering up this slight flaw in my

character

ldquoI repeat lsquoWho never leavesrsquo rdquo Granny scowls

ldquoUm whatrsquos that Granny What I said was lsquoMark

Twain is rumored to have fleasrsquo rdquoldquoWhat on earth can you meanrdquo Granny huffs as if Irsquom

taking the very name of the Lord in vain ldquoMr Mark Twain

most certainly does not have fleasrdquo

Granny loves Mark Twain

She talked to him once in a

train station in Chicago andswears she inspired him to

write Huck Finn More likely

she trapped him in a corner

of the menrsquos room talked

his ear off and inspired the

character of Miss Watsonthe miserable woman who

owns Jim as a slave

ldquoMr Twain and I had

a bondrdquo she says dream-

ily Irsquom 1034 percent cer-

tain the only bond Granny has iswith a loup-garou otherwise known as a French werewolf



12

And a French werewolf is the worst kind of all not just be-

cause of its strange accent Irsquod know because my friend Lydia

Mae loves to tell me stories about them when therersquos a fullmoon Plus I have a picture of one on page 12 of my Scrap-

book

ldquoAre you listening young manrdquo Granny swings her head

around like shersquos looking for something ldquoHave you seen an

envelope lying anywhererdquo

ldquoUh nordquo I reply like itrsquos the dumb-

est question Irsquove heard this week Itrsquos

actually not Tuesday at school Con-rad McAllister asked our teacher Mrs

Huggins why feet smell and noses run

That is the dumbest question Irsquove heard

this week and completely deserving of

the dunce cap Mrs Huggins placed

firmly on Conradrsquos headGranny has a puzzled look on her



13

face so I take this opportunity to ask the question that has

been dogging me forever Or at least since 1135 ldquoWhy were

you talking about my dearly departed father Granny Andwhy is he worthlessrdquo

Now Granny looks at me like marbles are settling in her

brain ldquoWhat are you talking about What lsquodearly departed

fatherrsquordquo

Where has this woman been ldquoThe dearly departed fa-

ther who is never around because hersquos deadrdquo I explain atiny bit of exasperation edging into my voice ldquoYou donrsquot

remember him You knew him better than I ever didrdquo

ldquoStan what makes you think your father has um how

can I say this delicately Hmmm Bought the farmrdquo

ldquoI donrsquot think he bought a farm Grannyrdquo I explain pa-

tiently ldquoWe are not a family of farmersrdquoGranny pats her hair distractedly tucking a stray curl

behind her ear and then smoothing her apron She takes a

deep breath ldquoNo Stan What I mean is why are you under

the impression your father has diedrdquo

ldquoUm well because every time in my whole life Irsquove ever

brought up the subject of my father you say hersquos dead to you At Thanksgiving I overheard you tell Uncle Carl that

Arthur dug himself a grave and was a deadbeat And every

time Irsquove asked Mama to tell me about my father she just

says to pray for his soul So obviously hersquos no longer with us

In the living sense I meanrdquo

Granny looks down at me like Irsquom slightly blurry andgives her head a brief shake ldquoIt is true your father is no



14

longer with usrdquo she says staring me right in the peepers

ldquoBut itrsquos not because hersquos deadrdquo

Suddenly my stomach feels just like the time ConradMcAllister slugged me in the gut when I told him hersquod never

be the man his mother is

In my defense his mother has a mustache

All the air rushes from me

and my head feels too big for my

hat What did Granny just sayHersquos not dead Wait a minute

How can this be How could

my father be alive but never try

to get ahold of Mama or me

ldquoHersquos aliverdquo I ask Granny my

voice as pitchy as a clarinet inthe Independence Day parade

Granny looks past me and

slowly answers ldquoYes thatrsquos

what is often meant by lsquonot

deadrsquo Your long-lost father is

definitely aliverdquoldquoHersquos lostrdquo I ask This would explain why he has never

been around My entire life my father has been a hazy dream

appearing like a shadow in the night when Irsquom alone in my

room Or hersquos been the cowlick on top of my head the stub-

born hair Mama always tries so hard to smooth down the

hair Mama says I got from my fathermdashthe father I thoughtwas too dearly departed to teach me to toss a baseball on



15

summer Sunday afternoons The very same father I needed

to show me how to put a worm on a hook and tell me not to

stand up in a boat And of all the luck just as I hear my father is alive lo

and behold hersquos lost

ldquoWe need to find himrdquo I exclaim ldquoAnd save himrdquo

ldquoOh Irsquom pretty sure therersquos no saving himrdquo Granny says

under her breath ldquoAlso aside from a brief letter from Texas

we have no idea where he isrdquoldquoBut he wrote to usrdquo I grasp on to this fact as if Irsquom

drowning and someone has just thrown me a life jacket ldquoHe

must have said something about me Where does he want us

to meet himrdquo

ldquoStan the letter he sent

was a matter between adultsrdquoGranny says her voice hard

her eyes a steely gray

ldquoBut did he say he would

visit us Is he coming here or

are we meeting him in Texas

When did you see himrdquo I pep-per Granny with questions

Granny rubs her temple

like it hurts ldquoI truly donrsquot

think Irsquod recognize your father

if he walked in the front door itrsquos been so long since Irsquove

laid eyes on that sorry excuse for a man And he honestlycould be anywheremdashTexas last week California next week



16

The North Pole The circus Anywhererdquo I stare at her as

she blathers on ldquoHe could have a different name now for

all I know He could call himself Chicken McPhee and herdcattle out on the range And a man like Arthur Slater usually

does not want to be foundrdquo

Of course he wants to be found Especially when he

could pass all his secrets on to his son Like how to find gold

and herd cattle

Grannyrsquos eyes soften which is not a look Irsquom familiarwith ldquoYour father is the type of man who rdquo She pauses

to think ldquoDoesnrsquot like to be tied downrdquo

ldquoOf course not Who wants to be tied down Granny

Conrad McAllister tied me down to the tree next to the

schoolhouse once Believe me it is no fun I couldnrsquot move

my arms and when it started to rain everyone ran insideand I got soaking wetrdquo I completely understand why my

father would not want to be tied down

Granny lifts my chin so my eyes meet hers ldquoYoursquoll better

understand when yoursquore a manrdquo she says and hurries from

the room

But I donrsquot have time to wait to become a man not nowthat I know my fatherrsquos out there somewhere lost and just

waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3

Ican always tell when Mrs Cavanaugh raps on the door

itrsquos a knock as demanding as the sneeze you try to hold

back in church I open the door slightly only to spy a pile of

letters in one hand and another dreadful vinegar pie in the

other I sure hope she doesnrsquot notice the two partially eatenones still sitting on the stove and I cringe at the thought of

Mama making me eat more of that pie ldquoWe are not in the

position to waste good foodrdquo she says I want to point out

that vinegar pie is the opposite of good food but I donrsquot

think it will help the situation Plus lately she hasnrsquot really

been paying close attention to whether Irsquove been clean-ing my plate Actually lately she hasnrsquot really been paying



18

attention to much She even shooed me out of the house

yesterday to go play with ldquothat nice Conrad McAllisterrdquo

which made Lydia Mae and me laugh so hard I almostthought it was funny

Reminder therersquos nothing funny about Conrad McAl-

lister

ldquoIrsquove brought your mail and a nice pie for your dinnerrdquo

Mrs Cavanaugh says barging in Granny says Mrs Cava-

naugh is ldquobig-bonedrdquo and has ldquoears like an elephant and amemory to matchrdquo She also claims her ldquotongue wags more

than a dogrsquos tail in a room full of

bonesrdquo Irsquom not quite sure what

she means but Irsquom pretty sure itrsquos

not nice

Mrs Cavanaugh thruststhe pie at me and fans herself

with our mail Her neck cranes

around the ridiculous flower on

her hat bouncing about like her

eyes darting from the frayed

rug at our feet to the hall mirrorto the parlor I set the pie on the

table and reach for the letters

Some letters I have learned

may hold secrets Important

secrets say about a certain someonersquos long-lost father

I am a whiz at secrets I donrsquot mind saying Although Iwill admit I might not be such a whiz at keeping secrets



19

Mrs Cavanaugh clutches the mail to her chest ldquoStanrdquo

she says seriously looking over the rims of her spectacles

ldquothat might be the most honest thing yoursquove ever said We allknow keeping your mouth shut is not your specialtyrdquo

I get ready to argue but I am pretty sure this difficult

human will only insist on bringing up the time I may or may

not have mentioned to Conrad McAllister that Mrs Cava-

naughrsquos rather enormous pink bloomers were hanging on

the line The very same Conrad McAllister who may or maynot have alerted all the neighborhood kids to witness these

large underdrawers And the exact same Conrad McAllister

who taught the whole neighborhood to chant

Mrs C wears bloomers so giant

Even David couldnrsquot beat this GoliathTheyrsquore so big and so pink

And they probably stink

I think it is time for a diet

Mrs Cavanaugh is not known for her sense of humor

but what can I say Itrsquos a rough neighborhoodldquoWhat do you have thererdquo she asks leaning toward the

old envelope Irsquove absentmindedly pulled from my pocket

It appears to be like a piece of steel and she is a magnetmdash

when I wave the envelope around her head bobbles with it

I quickly tuck it away

ldquoOh nothingrdquo I answer casuallyldquoDid I notice that your grandmother arrived a week



20

ago I was wondering why I like to keep a watchful eye on

my neighbors you know Especially when therersquos no man

around And lately I canrsquot help noticing you seem to be leftunsupervised more than is appropriaterdquo She pinches her

lips together ldquoI havenrsquot seen your grandma Cora since old

Percy Marvinrsquos funeral Was that two years agordquo

ldquoWellrdquo I respond ldquoGranny was just in town at

Thanksgivingmdashdonrsquot know how you missed her And Irsquom

sorry to say but Irsquom not all too familiar with this Percy Mar- vin fellow Mrs Cavanaugh although he sounds quite um

dead-ishrdquo I have been taught to be respectful of the dearly

departed seeing as my father was one of them until recently

ldquoAnd yes marsquoam we have the pleasure of another visit from

Grannyrdquo I add thinking that a visit from Granny is about as

pleasurable as a visit from the plague doctorldquoAnd who was the man driving

the wagon that dropped off your

grandmotherrdquo Mrs Cavanaughrsquos

eyes widen

I think for a minute ldquoDo you

mean Uncle Carl rdquoHer interest immediately fades

ldquoOh by the way herersquos your mailrdquo

She stretches an arm toward me

but right before I can snatch up the

letters she pulls back and exam-

ines the one on top ldquoHmmm Onefrom Omaha Who could be from



21

Omahardquo Her eyes sparkle dangerously ldquoIsnrsquot your father

from around thererdquo

ldquoI I donrsquot knowrdquo I say cautiously Is my father fromOmaha And if I act dumb will Mrs Cavanaugh tell me

more about him

She tut-tuts ldquoHe certainly was a nersquoer-do-well that man

I forgot he skipped town right before you were born After

spending his entire winterrsquos earnings at the saloon that isrdquo

I glare at her The old windbag couldnrsquot pour water out ofa boot if the instructions were printed on the heel ldquoYou must

have him confused with someone elserdquo I say through gritted

teeth I have a hard time imagining my father spending all our

money in a saloon Irsquom pretty sure hersquos a rich cowboy or explor-

ing the wilds of the North Pole unable to contact us because

of life-or-death matters or because hersquos been sworn to secrecyby a Russian tsar facts that will all be proven when I find him

ldquoMay I help you Margaretrdquo Mama asks in a very-not-

helpful voice She grabs the letters from Mrs Cavanaugh and

immediately tucks them under her arm Mrs Cavanaugh

seems a little taken aback at Mamarsquos rudeness Come to think

of it Irsquom a little surprised too Mama always says to love thyneighbor but she is definitely not acting the part today

ldquoNot that itrsquos any of your businessrdquo she continues flip-

ping through our mail ldquobut Arthur was indeed raised in

Omaha Since then however you could say he is from a lot

of places The letter by the way is from my cousin Berthardquo

she says her voice as cold as the frost I like to scrape off thewindows with my fingernail



22

I scrape some frost off the window with my fingernail

Smoke from Indian Town slithers lazily off to the west and

two-story company houses line the street like dominoesMama says itrsquos strange a lumber town like ours doesnrsquot have

a tree in sight but when Mr Weston the boss of the entire

Chicago and Weston Lumber Company says to cut down the

trees because hersquos afraid of fires no one is about to argue

I scrape off more frost and watch the guy on the board-

walk in front of the house the one leaning against the Per-kinsesrsquo cow Buttermilk while lighting his coffin nail for a

smoke and remember that my father could be anywhere

even here That man could be my father He could be wait-

ing for me ready to take me to Mr Westonrsquos office to talk

about man stuff or to the general store to buy some bullets

to shoot tin cans or Mrs Cavanaughrsquos pink underdrawersI watch the manrsquos smoky

breath His hat is cockeyed his

wrinkly coat dirty and unbuttoned

one pant leg rolled halfway up

the other halfway down a hand

scratching his left butt cheek athread of brown spit landing on

the road melting into the dirty ice

No now that I think about it

that certainly could not be my father



23

Mrs Cavanaughrsquos voice jerks me to reality ldquoI see your

mother has arrived Alice Irsquom sure you must be thrilled and de-

lighted by Corarsquos unexpected visitrdquo She looks at Mama eagerlyldquoShersquos here to see us Margaret Itrsquos perfectly reasonable

for a mother to visit her daughter and grandson wouldnrsquot

you thinkrdquo Mama says icily and turns to me ldquoStan thank

Mrs Cavanaugh and see her out pleaserdquo

ldquoThanks for this cracker jack pie Mrs Cavanaugh Itrsquos

our favorite You really should give us the reciperdquo I sayushering her toward the door

Mrs Cavanaugh stops short ldquoWell Stan I can surely

see you all could use a little more meat on your bones what

with money being scarce Just doing Christian charity for my

fellow human beings in need And by the wayrdquomdashshe leans

inmdashldquowhat in the world is up with that mother of yoursrdquoldquoI have no idea what you mean marsquoamrdquo I open the front

door and gently push Mrs Cavanaugh through it I know

however exactly what she means Ever since the arrival of

that mysterious envelope Mama has not exactly been act-

ing like herself Then again I havenrsquot quite been acting like

myself either

Read Discuss amp Sharerandomhousekidscom

randomhousekids



This is a work of fiction Names characters places and incidents either

are the product of the authorrsquos imagination or are used fictitiously Any resemblance to

actual persons living or dead events or locales is entirely coincidental

Text copyright copy 2015 by Alison De Camp

Jacket art copyright copy 2015 by Scott Nash

All rights reserved Published in the United States by Crown Books for

Young Readers an imprint of Random House Childrenrsquos Books a division of

Random House LLC a Penguin Random House Company New York

Crown and the colophon are registered trademarks of Random House LLC

Visit us on the Web randomhousekidscom

Educators and librarians for a variety of teaching tools

visit us at RHTeachersLibrarianscom

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

DeCamp Alison

My near-death adventures (99 true) Alison DeCamp mdash First edition

pages cm

Summary In 1895 eleven-year-old Stan decides to find his long-lost father in

the logging camps of Michigan documenting in his scrapbook his travels and

encounters with troublesome relatives his motherrsquos suitors lumberjacks and moreISBN 978-0-385-39044-6 (trade) mdash ISBN 978-0-385-39045-3 (lib bdg) mdash

ISBN 978-0-385-39046-0 (ebook) [1 Adventure and adventurersmdashFiction

2 Missing personsmdashFiction 3 LoggingmdashFiction

4 Family lifemdashMichiganmdashFiction 5 ScrapbooksmdashFiction

6 MichiganmdashHistorymdash19th centurymdashFiction 7 Humorous stories] I Title

PZ71D43My 2015 [Fic]mdashdc23 2014017792

Printed in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition

Random House Childrenrsquos Books supports the First Amendment

and celebrates the right to read

ATTENTION READER

THIS IS AN UNCORRECTED ADVANCE EXCERPT



Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP

From one of the below retailers



MY

NEAR- DEATH

ADVENTURES

( 99 TRUE )

A L I S O N D 983141 C A M P

CROWN BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS

Keep reading for a sneak peek



CHAPTER 1













2


Mae








I might not
















3


















4
















onions cry




Not that day anyway






5







a week





















7


what we haverdquo










the second time









CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




CHAPTER 1













2


Mae








I might not
















3


















4
















onions cry




Not that day anyway






5







a week





















7


what we haverdquo










the second time









CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




2


Mae








I might not
















3


















4
















onions cry




Not that day anyway






5







a week





















7


what we haverdquo










the second time









CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




3


















4
















onions cry




Not that day anyway






5







a week





















7


what we haverdquo










the second time









CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




4
















onions cry




Not that day anyway






5







a week





















7


what we haverdquo










the second time









CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




5







a week





















7


what we haverdquo










the second time









CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP






7


what we haverdquo










the second time









CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




7


what we haverdquo










the second time









CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




CHAPTER 2






your businessrdquo





Your manners are

atrocious



9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




9















10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




10





















leaves





11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




11





character














owns Jim as a slave







12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




12




book














13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




13






fatherrsquordquo




















14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




14


























15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




15











to meet himrdquo















16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




16







and herd cattle










the room


waiting to be found



CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




CHAPTER 3













18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




18





lister







not nice














19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




19
























20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




20
















eyes widen










21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




21




more about him






















22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




22
























23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




23


















myself either


randomhousekids
















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP

















DeCamp Alison


pages cm










10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1First Edition



ATTENTION READER




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP




Order your copy of

MY NEAR-DEATH

ADVENTURES 983080983097983097983077 TRUE983081

BY ALISON DECAMP


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My Near-Death Adventures (99% True!) by Alison DeCamp | Chapter Sampler