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myABBOTSFORD

While the online dating world is so varied now that some sites match couples based on aura colours or by specifi c age groups, fi ve years ago it took only the simplest of sites to pair one Abbotsford couple.

Bobby-Jo and Wes Kowalski met via Plenty of Fish (POF) in Novem-ber of 2006. The site, now ranked the 35th most popular such service in Canada, according to Alexa.com, allows members to search through hundreds of profi les.

With their six-week-old daughter Samantha cooing in the back-ground, Bobby-Jo comments on how their relationship was unique from the start.

“There was that feeling you don’t have to pretend, and be yourself.”

Both 28 at the time, the couple joined POF because other efforts to

meet people such as work or clubs were not working.

And despite online dat-ing still being relatively new in 2006, Bobby-Jo and Wes had heard success stories. Wes’s two sisters met their husbands on the Internet prior to him joining.

Their online courtship made com-munication the foundation of their relationship early on, Bobby-Jo says, even though she jokes that some of the tough questions she asked Wes in the beginning may have led others to run.

But asking those questions, and likewise offering that self-disclo-sure is what it takes to make online dating successful, says Abbotsford psychologist Dr. Lyne Piché, who specializes in couples counselling.

It’s a question of quality versus quantity. Chatting online for a long

period of time does not necessarily mean that you are engaging in the deep conversations needed to

develop intimacy, she maintains.Instead, couples should plan

to meet within a shorter period of time if they are serious about establishing a healthy relationship. Making a plan to meet also forces a level of honesty.

Having a friend or family look over your profi le is also a good idea, Dr. Piché adds. Their feedback may give you a fresh perspective on how you are representing yourself.

For Bobby-Jo it might have made all the difference. A girlfriend revamped her fi rst profi le, making it more fun, but also more accurate

in describing who she was. Shortly after, she and Wes started talking.

But before meeting Mr. Right, Bobby-Jo was cautious in her online data. She did not post her name, address or home phone number on her profi le. Instead, she provided her cell number when she felt comfortable.

Bobby-Jo had a date with a man who said he was single, but found out through a mutual acquaintance that he was actually married.

Yet she remains positive about the experience and encourages others to try fi nding love online.

“If someone is not having luck with what they are doing, why would you keep doing the same thing expecting a different result. Try something different,” Bobby-Jo said.

You can find love online Couple and therapist offer advice on how to be successful in online dating

>> inside

Making Music fun

>> Thursday, October 20, 2011

Melissa WELSHAbbotsford News

The Kowalskis sit at the kitchen table of their Abbotsford home.MELISSA WELSH PHOTO Abbotsford News

>> facebook.com/abbotsfordismycity

>> Oct. 29The Celtic Thunder World Tour is coming to the stage at Ab-botsford Sports & Entertainment Centre, 33800 King Rd., next Saturday. The wildly entertain-ing show will have your feet tapping as the group performs songs from their new album “Heritage.” Doors open at 7 p.m., show starts at 8 p.m. Tick-ets are available at abbotsford-centre.ca or by phone 1-866-977-AESC (2372) and range in price from $45, $55, and $75.

>> Oct. 31Get spooked out from ghouls, pirates and Count Draculas this Halloween at the Trethewey House on 2313 Ware St. Take your kids for the tour at 3-5 p.m. The tour for older kids and adults is from 6-8 p.m. Tickets are $3 per person. Enjoy hot cocoa and pumpkin carving as well. For more information visit http://www.msamuseum.ca/ or call 604-853-0313.

>> November 5-6Find the new in the old with the Antique Expo at Abbots-ford Tradex, 1190 Cornell St. The show runs from 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday and features furniture, folk art, and vintage fashion. Children (13 & under) are free and adults pay $7. Parking is $5. Call 604-316-1933 or visit www.antiquesbyde-signshows.com.

>> November 4-5, 10-

12, 17-19The Gallery 7 Theatre will bring S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders, to the stage with performances at Abbotsford’s M.E.I. Theatre, 4081 Clearbrook Rd. Watch a tale of youth caught in between the confl icts of social classes in

the 1960’s. Matinees are at 2 p.m., evening shows at 7:30 p.m. Purchase tickets at the House of James, 2743 Emerson Street, or phone 604-852-3701.

>> November 11-12Bring your skis or snowboards for trading at Abbotsford’s Tradex, 1190 Cornell St., for the Canadian Ski Patrol’s Winter Extreme Ski Show & Swap. Pur-chase new or gently-used gear at season-low prices from 5-9 p.m. Friday and 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Saturday. Drop off consignment Thursday at 7-9 p.m. Admission is free with a food or cash dona-tion to the Abbotsford Food Bank. Parking is $5.

>> November 13, 18The Fraser Valley Concert Soci-

ety opens with the melodies of Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony on Sunday Nov. 13. The Society then offers Isabel Bayrakdarian to the stage the following Fri-day, Nov. 18. Visit www.fraser-valleysymphony.ca to purchase tickets.

>> November 18-20

Characters from Pixar’s Toy Story 3 will be this year’s Disney On Ice. Watch this summer’s hit movie come to life with twirls and jumps. Show at 7:30 p.m. Friday, 12 p.m., 2:30 p.m., and 7 p.m. Saturday and 1 p.m. and 4:30 p.m. Sunday. Visit www.abbotsfordcentre.ca or call 604-743-5000 to purchase tickets for ages two and up.

my>> Thursday, October 20, 2011

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my >> Thursday, October 20, 2011 B3

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What do you like best about UFV?Class sizes. It’s nice to know everybody in the class including

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What’s your favourite class so far?Microbiology. It’s a really interesting class.

Where is the most awesome place on campus?The courtyard on a sunny day.

What’s your dream job after graduation?Anything that will get me through med school.

Use three words to describe yourself:Exuberant. Ridiculous. Motivated.

What tip would you give to a brand new UFV student?Get to know your teachers and fellow

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Rhythm isn’t something you are born with. Abbotsford music teacher Adam Schilt says it’s taught, and he’ll teach you – if you can count to four.

The musician-turned-teacher works out of the Sound of Music store at 2631 West Railway St.

Schilt, 27, customizes his teaching to each student, whether it’s the guitar, ukulele or hand drums.

Being given a shaker (a percussion instrument) at a friend’s house party 10 years ago started a musical journey of learning.

Largely self-taught, that now influ-ences the way he teaches his students.

“I show them the doors, they have to walk through them themselves. I overload them, say ‘do as much as you can and whenever you have a problem, come back broken and I will fix you.’ “

The process teaches students to do the work, while preventing bad habits from forming.

Currently, Schilt has 42 students on his roster with an expanding waiting list.

While his youngest students are five years old, Schilt is confident that he could start teaching the djembe to kids three and up.

Learning this instrument instills an early sense of rhythm, where the only requirement is that you are able to

count to four.“It’s probably the best way for

anyone to start playing music. Once you’ve learned the rhythm on the hand drum, it is very easy to apply it to the guitar, or keyboard.”

Schilt also teaches the ukelele in his 30-minute lessons.

The ukulele is smaller in size and weight than a guitar, and uses softer nylon strings instead of steel, making it easier for kids to play.

He creates a visible chart that de-tails different levels, allowing stu-dents to see how they are progressing. Each level represents a new skill or accomplishment.

After 10 levels, they can even reach superstar status by adding a special alias to their name, like Adam Guitar Hero.

While this fun progress report may be more for the kids, Schilt also has students beyond the 30-year-old mark.

Getting them engaged is the biggest thing, Schilt says. If that happens, then just half an hour a week can reap some amazing results.

Two students in particular, have greatly impressed Schilt.

Ten-year-old Carson Schaub has high-functioning autism. That condi-tion can sometimes create a learning mental block, Schilt says, but music is different because it involves the whole brain. Carson has become a natural,

even able to sing while playing the djembe. That’s especially difficult because of the competing rhythms.

Playing music may have seemed impossible at one point for nine-year-old Asher, who lost most motor func-tion in his right hand after suffering a stroke during child-birth. But now,

he drums advanced rhythms on the djembe, his right hand keeping tempo while his left hand taps a series of beats.

“It’s great to help them overcome their difficulties,” Schilt said. “That’s what I’m here to do. I’m just the facili-tator to help them think around it.”

my>> Thursday, October 20, 20114Learning music easy as 1-2-3-4

Local teacher states that everyone can play music

Melissa WELSH Abbotsford News

Adam Schilt plays the ukulele in his teaching studio at Sound of Music store.

MELISSA WELSH PHOTO Abbotsford News

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In a healthy workplace the welfare of employees is a top priority! Employers of healthy workplaces know that healthy em-ployees are more productive, have greater job satisfaction, take fewer sick days and are injured less. This is good for employ-ees and good for a company’s bottom line! So why not give wellness a try in your workplace? Here’s some great advice to get you started.Getting Started:

Wellness programs can begin from a number of different approaches. Some or-ganizations choose to start with a few key initiatives such as lunchtime education sessions or arranging discounted mem-berships for staff at a local fi tness center. Starting with a few initiatives is a great way to get the ball rolling and build inter-est. Other workplaces may also choose to start by conducting an employee survey to determine employee needs before taking on anything more ambitious. This survey can also be repeated later on to show successes and provide justifi cation for expanding the program further. The long term goal should be to eventually develop a comprehensive workplace wellness program. Success Factors: Regardless of how you get your program started, there are a number of factors which lead to successful programs.

Leadership and involvement from management: Build your business case and approach management for support and approval. A program that doesn’t fi t with the company’s goals will be a tough sell, so streamline your ideas with your

company’s mission and vision and focus on the benefi ts to both the employer and the employee.

Employee participation in planning: Engage employees to participate in a well-ness committee to contribute to the plan-ning and ongoing maintenance of the pro-gram. This will ensure that the program meets staff needs and allows employees to show leadership in the workplace.

Program offerings that meet the needs of employees: Use employee surveys, get feedback at staff meetings, provide suggestion boxes or form a com-mittee. Find any method to get ideas, feedback and support from employees.

An approved budget to support the plan: Big or small ensure that the plan you develop will be supported by available funds. To allow your program to grow also allow your budget to grow. Remember that the cost of employee wellness is an invest-ment in the success of your company!

Continuous monitoring of the pro-gram: Organize regular meetings with your wellness committee and get regular feedback from your team to continually improve your program.

With some thoughtful planning, man-agement support and employee participa-tion any company, regardless of size or budget, can develop a workplace wellness program.

For more information to get your started visit www.healthyabbotsford.ca and click on “Get Involved” then “Work-places” to fi nd plenty of ideas, resources and tools.

October is Healthy Workplace Month!

Get your Wellness ProgramStarted Today

my >> Thursday, October 20, 2011 B5

healthmy

>> facebook.com/abbotsfordismycity

>> Thursday, October 20, 2011 B6my

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Limiting the number of layers – three is usually enough – is also important to avoid a shapeless look.

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my >> Thursday, October 18, 2011 7

The question, “Are those real?” usually doesn’t relate to any area on a person’s face and is often considered an offensive question, but maybe you’ve been lucky enough to have someone ask you this question as a result of your stunning and lengthy eyelashes.

Eyelashes vary from person to person, just like hair, body shape, eye color, and well, pretty much everything about us. There are long lashes, short lashes, thick lashes, thin lashes. White lashes, black lashes, brown lashes, red lashes. They vary in thickness, length and color, yet with some of the more recent advance-ments in beauty technology, we now have the opportunity to grow fuller lashes of our own, or have faux lashes skillfully glued to each of our own individual lashes.

My point is that there’s no longer a need to feel “less than” in the lash de-partment. Whether you already have ample lashes and want to create even more drama or whether you are strug-gling to add emphasis along your lash line, there is help (and hope).

False eyelashes are generally the easiest way to appear like you have fuller, longer lashes. Many people are completely scared of them though and so it’s important to remember that not all false eyelashes are created equal. There are strip lashes, which are a full strip (or row) of lashes on one base that are usual-ly glued from one corner to the other cor-ner of the eye. They range from natural to dramatic in thickness and length and can always be trimmed to fit the natural width of your own eye.

There are also individual eyelashes,

which usually have three or four hairs each and a small, ball type base. These are great for adding emphasis where you want it, whether that is to the outside corner of your eyes or to fill in gaps across them.

Both types of lashes can be applied using an eyelash glue (which is some-times supplied when you purchase the lashes) or with a medical adhesive called Duo. Squeeze a small amount of the glue onto a wipe-able surface and either dip the base of the individual lashes into the glue or use the end of a brush or other device to apply a thin layer of glue to the base of the strip lashes. Allow the glue to dry a little and get tacky before ap-plying to the eye (30-45 secs).

Some people prefer to apply eyelashes before any other eye makeup like eyeli-ner or mascara, but I like to use mascara first to create a base to place the false eyelashes onto. If you are just prac-ticing, it may be a good idea to apply lashes first so that if you do need to re-move them and try, try again, you won’t wreck the makeup underneath.

Who said long, luscious lashes were unattainable? Not I!

Chrissy Lambert can be reached at Chrissy@makeupinfusion.com or www.makeupinfusion.com or follow @MakeupInfusion on Twitter

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B8 Abbotsford News Thursday, October 20, 2011

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