MUSENGI, GANGA and MUGWENI Storms and As a Tresses Expressed

8/6/2019 MUSENGI, GANGA and MUGWENI Storms and As a Tresses Expressed

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Journal of Education in Developing Areas (JEDA) Vol. 19, No. 1.

STORMS AND STRESSES EXPRESSED IN SEXUAL MATURATION AND

ADOLESCENTS PERCEPTIONS OF AN IDEAL PARENT IN ZIMBABWE

Martin Musengi

Email:[email protected]: +263 776 440804

Emily T. [email protected]: +263 774 143916

Rose M. [email protected]: +263 773 249806

Great Zimbabwe University, Faculty of EducationBox 1235

Masvingo, Zimbabwe.

Abstract

The study sought to find out what children at the vulnerable stage of identity crises

and role confusion thought were useful parental characteristics which could be used

to assist them resolve their growing-up and sexual maturation conflicts. A descriptive

cross-sectional survey was employed to collect mostly qualitative data from 50 formsthree and four school children who comprised the sample. These were selected

through stratified random sampling procedures. Data were analysed using theme

identification methods to identify emerging themes from the data. Generally,

adolescents expected the following from their parents: freedom from parents strict

parenting techniques; access to education and physiological needs such as food,

shelter and clothing, protection, love and care; appreciation of even the slightest

effort; sharing ideas and advice on boy and girl relationships without being directive.

Adolescents wanted parents to listen to their viewpoints and avoid making solo

decisions on matters that concern them and shouting at or reprimanding themunnecessarily. The study also established that parenting styles do influence an

adolescents behavior and expectations and that identity crises place adolescents in

predicaments that they sometimes regret. The implications therefore were that

parents should be able to engage adolescents, the extended family and teachers in

collaborative efforts to enhance a positive identity and establish a sustainable

learning environment for the adolescents. Creating an interactive learning

environment at home, school and in the community should eventually minimize the

effects of identity crises which are manifested as storms and stresses in adolescence.
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March , 2011JOURNAL OF EDUCATION IN DEVELOPING AREAS (JEDA) VOL.19 (1).

w w w . j e d a - u n i p o r t . c o m Page 2

Introduction

Development in adolescence holds special problems because during this stage of

the life cycle, childrens intense need for independence comes into conflict with

their need for social approval. Stanley, (1904) proposes that this period is

characterized by storm and stress because of the vast number of psychological

and physical changes that occur from the age of 13 to 19 years. Bitz (2003)

explains that adolescence is an extraordinary time when individual developmental

and cultural factors combine in ways that shape adulthood. Teenage changes in

physical characteristics such as spermarche and menarche in pubescence cause

certain discomforts within the child, resulting in mood swings and indecisiveness

which may manifest as self-centeredness and an identity crisis. Stewart (2004)

explain that adolescence is a turbulent time, as adolescents are often physically

mature enough to perform adult functions such as work and childbearing but lack

the psychological maturity, social status and financial resources to perform those

functions responsibly. This results in a disjunction between biology and society

which has the potential to create a difficult transitional period for adolescents.

Adolescents uncertain views and resultant behavior come into conflict with

adult controls that are meant to ensure that these teenagers do not foreclose their

chances for self actualization. Adolescence has long been associated with increased

rates of antisocial, norm-breaking and even criminal behavior which constitute the

storms and stresses that Stanley (1904) alluded to. Ferron, (1987) calls adolescence

a period of identity formation on the one hand and role confusion on the other. Intraditional Zimbabwean cultures which embrace what Moyo & Muvezwa (2004)

calls ubuntu or the African art of living, parents try to ensure that their teenage

children are helped to find a stable identity by their uncles and aunts or in coming-

of-age rites conducted by village elders. However, because of globalization which

has brought about so much westernization, such counseling interactions among

extended family members are no longer as widespread as in pre-industrial times.

Nuclear families spend most of their time isolated from relations as they try to earn

a living in work-focused environments. UNICEF (1998) assert that traditional

support systems that enabled children to gain valuable information about their

bodies and growing up responsibly have virtually disappeared. UNICEF states that

not much is being done to fill the gap.

The process of sexual maturation or growing up and its management in

adolescence would appear to be affected by a culture or conspiracy of silence.

Chakuchichi, Shumba, Manokore and Dhlomo (2007:194) bemoaned what they

called the culture of silence concerning growing up and sexual maturation

education in Zimbabwe. Ferron (1987) explains this silence by pointing out that

many adults are not in a position to provide sex education to the young either

because they do not have the necessary vocabulary to do the job or are tongue-tiedwith cultural inhibitions or are overcome with embarrassment. Even though they

may recognize the need for sex education, many adults including trained teachers,


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might not have sufficient knowledge themselves as they never had formal training

that would enable them to cope with this particular responsibility. Stewart (2004)

found that in Zimbabwe, there was a culture of silence around sexual maturation

and boys and girls experienced sexual maturation uninformed and therefore

unprepared. Shumba, Chakuchichi, Manokore and Dhlomo (2006) explained thatteachers and parents did not freely communicate to children information on sexual

maturation. The school curriculum carried some information, but this sexual

maturation information was not systematically organized and taught.

Shumba et al (2006), while accepting the culture of silence for parents,

propose a more damning postulate for teachers. They point out that teachers have

knowledge on personality development gained from psychology and sociology of

education, which they choose to ignore. Shumba et al proposed that the teachers

are engaged in a conspiracy of silence since they knowingly neglect to teach an

aspect of childrens development. Such neglect was explained by UNESCOs (2004)

finding that education has traditionally failed to address itself to such social goals

as non-cognitive skills, values and other behavioural traits. Dyanda (2004) explains

that teachers lack awareness of culturally and educationally valid methodologies by

which to teach and counsel learners about a highly sensitive matter such as sexual

maturation. However Ferron (1987) argues that unless dual standards of morality

and conflicting cultural values that abound in society are resolved urgently, socially

unwanted behaviours will continue unabated, as will the storms and stresses faced

by adolescence.

Moyo and Muvezwa (2004) explain that the culture of silence on sexual

maturation matters is created by the observance of taboos and stereotypes

associated with sexuality. Nziramasanga (1999) and Dengu-Zvobgo (2004) also

found that these taboos and stereotypes made parents afraid of sex education

provided in the school system. Discussing issues of sexuality is wrongfully

perceived to be a sign of eroded societal values and norms. In such an environment

neither parents nor teachers systematically and deliberately inform children about

how to cope with health and psychosocial dimensions of growing up and sexual

maturation.

However, despite the culture of silence, there is no doubt that it is the

responsibility of parents to initiate their children into the customs, norms and

values that would make them not only acceptable citizens but also fully

contributing members of their societies. Most parents are expected to fulfill these

obligations with no training in parenting and have to base their strategies on

experiences with their own parents. This study sought to find out how adolescents

viewed their parents efforts at providing for them and generally facilitating their

smooth transition into adulthood.

Purpose of the study

The purpose of the study was to find out adolescents perceptions of what an ideal


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parent should be. The following questions guided the study:

How do adolescents view their parents or caregivers efforts at meeting theirphysiological and psychological needs?

To what extent do adolescents value the views of their parents as far assexual maturation and general development are concerned?

How should problems that adolescents encounter with their parents beresolved?

Methodology

Research Design

This study employed a descriptive, cross-sectional survey design within the

quantitative research paradigm. Information describing the views of the

predetermined Manicaland province middle high school student population on their

perceptions of what successful parenting entailed, was collected by asking

questions to the sample at just one point in time, from 14 July 2010 to 16 July

2010.

Sample and sampling procedures

Cluster sampling was used to select five high schools from the twenty-three public

high schools in Manicaland province. Two of these high schools were in urban

settings while the other three were in rural settings. Stratified random sampling

was used to select 10 pupils from each of the five high schools form three and four

boys and girls. The 14 to 17-year-old pupils were stratified into those from homes

with relatively high income levels (such as businesspeople and professionals),

middle income levels (such as semi-skilled workers and farmers at medium sized

farms) and low income levels (such as the unemployed, unskilled and peasant

farmers in communal areas). An equal number of boys and girls participated in the

study.

Instrumentation

A Questionnaire was administered to the 50 adolescents. The questionnaire

comprised four fixed-choice questions that sought to establish the biographical

background of the student, four fixed choice questions which were meant to

determine the students opinion of how well he or she was being looked after. Four

open-ended questions were meant to elicit information on the value the student

placed on parental guidance on general development and sexual maturation issues.

The last four open-ended questions sought information on how problems between

the adolescent and the parent are being resolved and how they ought to be

resolved.

Procedures

Permission to collect data from the schools was sought and obtained from the


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Ministry of Education, Sports, Arts and Culture before appointments were made

with the respective school heads. At each school, the school head and teachers

were used to identify pupils from various socio-economic backgrounds. The

questionnaire was then administered to twenty five boys and twenty five girls from

forms three and four who had been identified as coming from either high income,middle income or low income family backgrounds at each school.

Data analysis plan

Data were analysed using frequency counts and percentages. An opinion expressed

by majority of the respondents in a particular stratum was taken to be the general

view. Open-ended questions were analysed qualitatively by using what Welman,

Kruger and Mitchell (2005) call theme identification methods such as the

intentional analysis of linguistic features used.

Data Analysis and Presentation

Provision of material needs

Most of the adolescents from low and middle-income backgrounds indicated that

their parents were providing for them reasonably well. They seemed to understand

the harsh economic conditions in which they are living. One of the girls said,

Things are tough for everyone and my parents try hard to ensure that we survive.

Another said, There is no way I could expect them (parents) to give me everything I

need. They are doing the best they can. One of the boys said, They provide the

basics, but sometimes when they cant, we have to go without. Another said, Weare no worse than most of the other families in the village. When things get bad we

all suffer, when they improve we all benefit.

A few adolescents from the low to middle-income backgrounds indicated that

provisions from parents were unsatisfactory. One of the boys said, I need proper

food especially in the morning before I go to school so that I can learn well during the

day. A girl said, A change of uniform would ensure that I remain clean throughout

the week. Another said, They try but they could do better.

Most adolescents from high-income backgrounds showed dissatisfaction withprovisions made available for them by parents. They indicated that more could be

done to make them more comfortable especially in the area of pocket money. One

said, More pocket money would ensure that I have more choice during my free time.

Another said, More pocket money could be provided so that I am not always

borrowing from my friends.

A few of the adolescents from high-income backgrounds indicated that their

parents provided for them well. One said, I might not always get what I want, when

I want it but they try to provide for me what they can.

Accessibility of parents when needed


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It emerged that 95% adolescents said that their parents were not readily accessible

when needed most of the time. 90% adolescents from all socio-economic

backgrounds said that their parents were workers who often concentrated on their

jobs at the expense of availing themselves to their children. One adolescent from a

low socio-economic background said, They are very busy people and so we have tounderstand that they cannot always pay attention to us. An adolescent whose

parents are unemployed also indicated that the parents were not accessible. She

said, They are busy trying to look for ways in which we can survive. Another

adolescent from a high socio-economic background said, They are preoccupied with

work and so do not have time for us. Most adolescents indicated that their parents

did not listen to them.

Trust and respect

The majority of adolescents from all socio-economic backgrounds complained aboutthe lack of trust shown to them by parents. They mentioned that parents are

suspicious about their behavior. One boy from a high socio-economic background

said, Even when I am not guilty, they suspect me of smoking and drinking alcohol.

Another said, Whenever my mother misses money from the home, I am the first

suspect. A girl from a low socio-economic background complained, My father and

mother probably suspect me of engaging in sexual activities. On the matter of

apologies nearly all adolescents indicated that there were problems. In response to

the question whether parents apologise to them when they do them wrong, many

adolescents indicated that they were not apologized to. One boy from a high socio-economic background said, No. They do not even admit that they are wrong. Some

indicated that they were apologized to but in oblique, round-about ways. A girl from

a low socio-economic background said, These are adults and they rarely say sorry

directly but will do things that show you that they are sorry. Another girl from a

high socio-economic background said, They do not accept my apologies to them

when I do wrong.

Relations with peers

Most of the teenagers said that their parents tended to interfere in their relations with peers. Some parents were said to be choosing for their children what they

called good friends while others did not appear to be directly choosing friends but

sanctioning interaction with what they considered undesirable elements. Some

parents were said to be suspicious of any relations their children had with others of

the opposite sex. Most boys said there was nothing wrong with premarital sex

provided it was practiced safely, while most girls said premarital sex was

unacceptable. Some teenagers said that they wanted parents to share ideas on boy

and girl relationships without being directive.

Counseling, discipline and conflict resolution

Even though the teenagers wanted parents to share general ideas on boy-girl


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relationships, they preferred that the parents refer them to other relatives of the

same sex with whom they could share more detailed information in a safer

environment. On the question of discipline, most parents from all socio-economic

backgrounds were described as always looking for faults, scolding and shouting

unnecessarily. Corporal punishment was reported to be particularly distasteful bythe adolescents. One adolescent said, They usually use bible verses to correct my

behavior but at times they beat me up if they are too angry. Others complained

about curfews that are imposed on them. One girl said, It is favouritism to expect

me to be home by six yet my younger brother can come in later without any questions

being asked.

Collectivism and individualism

Many teenagers said that their parents did not involve them in decision-making.

They complained that decisions that had something to do with their lives weremade either by the father alone, mother alone or by both parents with little or no

reference to the affected child. In answer to the question how are decisions that

affect you made in your family, almost all the children indicated that they were

made by the parents. Other members of the nuclear and extended family were not

consulted. Many could not recall any collective decisions that had ever been made

in their families. A few urban teenagers indicated that parents facilitated their

interaction with members of their extended families. Most rural teenagers said that

their parents had made them not only aware of their uncles, aunts, nieces and

nephews but were constantly assisting or being assisted by them in various ways.In some instances some urban teenagers said they were aware of cooperation

between their parents and neighbours.

Ideal parents

In answering the question on the kind of characteristics they thought an excellent

parent should have, the adolescents were unanimous that such a parent should be

able to provide for them. Nearly all children said that they expected a parent to be

accessible, kind, loving and accepting the opinions of the child. Most of the

adolescents also said that they wanted their parents to trust them and berespectful towards them especially where relations with their peers were concerned.

90% expected their parents to be people who could counsel in a calm, restrained

manner and to consult them when making decisions that affected the teenagers.

None of the teenagers expected their parents to involve the extended family in

disciplining or counseling them, although in other aspects of their upbringing

which involved financial assistance, parents could involve extended family

members.

Discussion

An important characteristic listed by teenagers as contributing towards their

appreciation of an ideal parent, was the ability to provide for them. Adolescents


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from low to middle-income backgrounds focused on the need for a good parent to

provide the basics. Adelescents from high income backgrounds also thought that a

good parent should be able to provide for them, but their focus was on provision of

materials to maintain their high status rather just for sustenance. The low to

middle-income teenagers also generally tended to appreciate the efforts thatparents make to provide for them, whereas those from higher income backgrounds

were more critical of parental efforts to provide. This is vindicated by other research

evidence which suggests that adolescents in traditional cultures often are able to

maintain such traditional values and practices as low conflict with parents even as

they become avid consumers of Western popular culture (Feldman, et al 1992;

Feldman, Rosenthal, Mont-Reynaud, Ling and Lau, 1991). This would imply that

teenagers from mainly rural and low to middle income backgrounds, who are raised

within the traditional African cultural values ofubuntu, would better withstand the

storms and stresses of adolescence as evidenced by their respect for their parentsefforts to provide for them.

Generally, the adolescents right to be dependent on parental provision seems

to be in contradiction with their demands for independence as evidenced by calls to

remove curfews and avoid being verbally reprimanded or punished. This was

partially explained by Hall (1904) who cites the incompatibility between

adolescents need for independence and the fact that parents still think of their

offspring as mere children, and tighten the rein when they should be loosen it.

Such incompatibility would not exist in traditional cultures where, according to

Stewart (2006) as soon as the child reached the age of adolescence he was taken

over by the extended family system to learn by precept and example his

responsibility to provide and to share. Ferron (1987) found that parents and

adolescents from individualistic societies such as those in the West tended to have

earlier expectations of autonomy than parents and adolescents in collectivist

societies. However, such autonomy appears to be related to behaviours that would

fall into the category of misconduct (such as drinking alcohol) and those related to

peer-relations (such as dating) rather to provision for physiological needs.

Adolescents need to have a parent with whom they could share ideas on boy-girl relationships affirms Moyo et al (2004) assertion that they have a natural

desire for the company of the opposite sex. However the accusation that parents

tended to interfere in teenage relationships appears contradictory to the need to

have parents who are involved in peer relations. It might be indicative of the need

for the sharing of ideas not to be directed by the parents. This would explain why

the teenagers abhorred parents choosing of friends for them. Dyanda (2004)

indicates that adolescents prefer the advice of their peers to that of their parents

and so will fiercely resist peer separation by parents. It might also be instructive

that the adolescents preferred that parents refer them to other adults who may beless emotionally involved and may also have what Dyanda (2004) calls culturally

valid methodologies by which to counsel on such a highly sensitive matter such as


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sexual maturation.

Amidst such apparent teenage confusion about the degree of dependence on

and independence from parents as well as the extent to which the teenagers expect

their parents to be involved in their peer relationships, it is not surprising that

parents would not know what they are expected to do. Chakuchichi, et als (2007)

culture of silence would appear to be instigated by the teenage confusion and

ambivalence about what they expect parents to do. However, the parents silence is

likely to leave their children exposed to Western influence. Arnett (2000) points out

that within traditional cultures, adolescents are often the most enthusiastic

consumers of Western music, movies and television. It is disheartening that

currently there are no clear mores in Western culture concerning the sexual

behavior of unmarried teenagers leaving the adolescents without any guidance on

this issue. Adolescents would therefore engage in behavior that carries the potential

of harm to themselves and others without any adult guidance.

Ninety five (95%) adolescents said that decisions that had something to do

with their lives were made by their parents alone with no reference to the

adolescents themselves or other members of the nuclear and extended family.

Generally, all adolescents argued that ideally, parents should involve them in

decision-making while rural adolescents appreciated their parents collaboration

with the extended family in decision-making. By stating that decision-making by

ideal parents should be collaborative, the adolescents may be advocating for a

relationship with their parents that is grounded on either Westernised democraticparenting styles or on ubuntu. Afrocentric approaches might help to foster in the

adolescents a collectivism that is central to ubuntu. From ubuntuwould naturally

follow such characteristics as chimiro/isimilo(public standing) and musoro/inqondo

(constructive disposition) which are related to the self-restraint, public spiritedness

and reflectivity that would eradicate adolescents storms and stresses. Most rural

teenagers said that their parents had made them not only aware of their uncles,

aunts, nieces and nephews but were constantly assisting or being assisted by them

in various ways. This might explain why they tend to be more appreciative of their

parents efforts at providing for them even in difficult circumstances while their

urban counterparts tended to be more egocentric.

On the question of discipline, parents from all socio-economic backgrounds

were described as always looking for faults, scolding, shouting unnecessarily and

setting unreasonable curfews. Arnett (2000) proposes that sexual issues, perhaps

because of what Dengu-Zvobgo (2004) calls their sensitive and taboo nature, are

likely to be argued about by parents and adolescents in indirect ways through

issues that are mundane on the surface and which are therefore safe for

discussion. Parents and their adolescents argue about seemingly trivial issues that

may be proxies for arguments over complex and sensitive issues. Conflicts betweenparents and adolescents are actually beneficial to the child as they promote the


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development of independence and autonomy.

Conclusion and recommendations

This study reveals that adolescents perceptions were that ideally, parents should

engage them and other family members in collective decision-making which trusted

their abilities and respected them as individuals. The adolescents perceptions of an

ideal parent tend to depend on whether they were being brought up under

individualistic or collectivistic parenting styles. Those being brought up under

collective styles tended to appreciate whatever material provisions parents made

available for them, to learn by precept and example their responsibility to provide

and share and to have earlier expectations of autonomy in fending for themselves.

Those brought up under individualistic parenting styles seemed to set higher

standards of the quality of provisions parents should avail to them and tended to

have earlier expectations of autonomy related to behaviours that would fall into the

category of misconduct, such as smoking and those related to peer-relations, such

as dating.

It also emerged in the study that adolescents placed a very high value on

their parents accessibility to enable them to act like sounding boards on a variety

of growing-up issues which include sexual maturation and boy-girl relations.

Ideally, parents are not expected to take a leading or directive role in such

discussions in which they are expected to listen and not intercede on behalf of the

adolescent in the actual peer relations. Adolescents from both individualistic and

collectivist parenting backgrounds preferred that collectivist approaches whichinvolved extended family members be used to discuss sensitive matters related to

sexuality which they may not be comfortable discussing with their biological

parents.

On the basis of the foregoing, it would appear that problems that adolescents

encountered with their parents should be resolved through open dialogue in which

the adolescent takes a leading role in airing his or her concerns and possible

solutions before they are discussed. In the likely event that some issues are too

sensitive to discuss directly with biological parents, intermediaries such as those

from the extended family, close family friends and other elders could be used in thediscussions. It was also found that parent-adolescent conflict is not necessarily a

negative thing as it facilitates the overall transition into an autonomous adult.

In light of these conclusions, it is recommended that educators facilitate

parenting awareness campaigns so that:

1. Parents become aware of their particular parenting approach and that it isthat approach which raises their adolescents expectations of what good

parenting is;

2. Parents learn the necessary Western-style democratic parenting style andAfrocentric-style (collectivist approaches) based on ubuntu;

3. Adults in positions of trust would acquire basic, child counseling skills and


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ethics to make them successful in counseling of adolescents in their

communities.

It is also recommended that research of a psychoanalytic nature be carried out to

explain to correlate apparently trivial and mundane parent-adolescent conflicts

with specific instances of sexual difficulties. Such correlations would enable the

anticipation of potential sensitive difficulties and result in better management.

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Documents

MUSENGI, GANGA and MUGWENI Storms and As a Tresses Expressed