fy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrupfy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrup

ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; fzgjpg;gps;ismtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j mtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j

epidT kyu;

fy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrup

ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; fzgjpg;gps;ismtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j

epidT kyu;

Sculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USASculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USASculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA

Front Cover: Gita Mural at Sri Venkateswara Temple, Bridgewater, New Jersey. USA: “Thy right is to work only, but never with its fruits; let not the fruits of actions be thy motive,

nor let thy attachment be to inaction”

In memory ofIn memory ofNeelampikai Ammal Kanapathypillai

(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)

Markham, OntarioMarkham, Ontario

In memory ofNeelampikai Ammal Kanapathypillai

(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)

Markham, Ontario

“Th

eWor

ld”

– by

Ava

ndhi

Ama

rasin

gam

GOD of Love, beauty and knowledge ~ Murugan

THANK YOU

The word Muruga is derived from the Tamil word ‘Murugu’ which means honey, beauty, fragrance and eternal youth. He is handsome, brilliant, elegant and enchanting. He symbolises valour, youthfulness, benevolence and compassion.

We thank all of you for the heartfelt sympathies and messages of condolences on the

passing of our beloved Mother. Your time in thinking about us during our great loss goes

far in bringing solace. We thank and appreciate all the helping hands for assisting and

providing comfort to us in numerous ways since the time of her passing.

Children: Balakumaran, Baheerathy, Sivasakthy and Thirukumaran

Daughters & Sons-in-law: Shiranee, Kumar S. Sriskanda, K. Sivarajah and Nalene

Grandchildren: Harshini, Varun, Anushini, Vishalini, Praveen, Harrish, Danesh and Amarnath

Great-Granddaughter : Avandhi.

– 579 Highglen Avenue, Markham ON L3S 4N4 - (905) 472-0843

The annual grand Ther (Chariot) festival at Nallur Kanthaswmay (Murugan) Temple, August 24, 2014 (pic courtesy of: facebook.com/nallur)

[ 1 ]

Njhw;wk;: 15.04.1934

kiwT: 10.08.2014

jpUkjp. ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; fzgjpg;gps;is

ntz;gh[a Mz;bd; Mb ,Ugj;jhwpy;

Qhyk; Nghw;Wk; G+uiz QhapWjdpy;

jpUNthzj;Jld; $ba gpujikapy;

khu;f;fk; efupdpy; kiwe;jNj - fy;tapypy; Njhd;wpa

ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; vDk; vkjhUapu; md;id.

mkuj;Jtr; rpwg;Gkd;whb ike;jd; ey;Y}u; fe;jdpd;

gj;jhk; jpUtpoh kQ;rk; rpwg;Gw ele;NjWk;

Mtzp gj;J md;W> Mz;ltd; mUs;ghypf;Fk;

mjpfhiy Ntisapy;> mkuu; ePyhk;gpif mk;khs;

fzgjpg;gps;is eypNtJkpd;wp ew;fjpaile;jhnud;why;>

mJ mtUf;Ff; fpilj;j mUe;jtg; gadd;Nwh!

[ 2 ]

tpehafu;; tzf;fk;

Rf;yhk; gujuk; tp\;Zk;

rrptu;zk; rJu;G[k;

g;u]d;d tjdk; j;ahNaj;

]u;t tpf;Ndhg rhe;jNa

K\pf th `dNkhjf `];j

]hku `u;z tpyk;gpf ]_j;u

thkd &g kN`];tu Gj;u

tpf;d tpdhaf ghj ek];Nj

flTs; tho;j;J

thf;Fz;lhk; ey;y kdKz;lhk; khkyuhs;

Nehf;Fz;lhk; NkdpDlq;fhJ - G+f;nfhz;L

Jg;ghu; jpUNkdp Jk;gpf;ifahd; ghjk;

jg;ghky; rhu;thu; jkf;F

[ 3 ]

gQ;r Guhzk;

Njthuk;

rq;fepjp gJkepjp apuz;Le; je;J

juzpnahL thdhsj; jUtNuDk;

kq;Fth utu; nry;y kjpg;Ngh ky;Nyh

khNjtu;f; Nffhe;j uy;yh uhfpy;

mq;fnkyhq; Fiw e;jOF njhO Nehauh

ahtupj;Jj; jpd;W oYk; GiyaNuDk;

fq;ifthu; rilf;fue;jhu;f; fd;;guhfpy;

mtu;fz;Bu; ehk; tzq;Fq; flTshNu

jpUthrfk;

ahNd ngha; ngad;ndQ;Rk;

ngha; nad; dd;Gk; ngha;

ahdhy; tpidNa dOjh

Yd;idg; ngwyhNk

NjNd aKNj fUk;gpd;

nwdpNt jpj;jpf;Fk;

khNd aUsh abNa

Did te;JWkhNw

jpUtpirg;gh

ieahjkdj;jpdid ietpg;ghdpj;njUNt

Iah ePAyhg; Nghe;jtd;W Kjypd;Wtiu

ifahuj; njhOjUtp fz;zhur; nrhupe;jhYk;

nra;ahNah tUs; Nfhilj;jpiu Nghf;fpa Re;juNd

[ 4 ]

jpUg;gy;yhz;L

ghYf;Fg;ghyfd; Ntz;baOjplg; ghw;flyPe;j gpuhd;

khYf;Fr; rf;fu kd;wUs; nra;jtd; kd;dpa jpy;iyjd;Ds;

Mtpf;F ke;jzu; tho;fpd;w rpw;wk;gyNk aplkhfg;

ghypj;J el;lk; gapy ty;yhDf;Nf gy;yhz;L $WJNk

Guhzk;

jz;zspntz; FilNte;jd; nray; fz;L jupahJ

kz;ztu;fz; kio nghope;jhu; thdtu;g+ kio nrhupe;jhu;

mz;zytd; fz;nzjpNu mzptPjp kotpilNky;

tpz;ztu;fs; njho epd;whd; tPjptplq;fg; ngUkhd;

jpUg;Gfo;

ruzfk yhyaj;ij mu epkp\Neukl;by;

jtKiwjp ahdk; itf;f mwpahj

rlfrl%lkl;b gttpidap Nyrdpj;j

jkpad;kpb ahy;kaf;fk; cWNtNdh

fUizGup ahjpUg;g njdFiwap Ntis nrg;G

fapiykiy ehju; ngw;w FkNuhNd

flfGa kPJuj;d kzpazpnghd; khiynrr;ir

fkOkz khu;flg;gk; mzpNthNd

jUzkpij ahkpFe;j fdkJW ePs; rTf;a

rfynry;t Nahfkpf;f ngUtho;T

jfikrpt QhdKj;jp gufjpA eP nfhLj;J

cjtp Gupa NtZ nea;j;j tbNtNy

mUzjs ghjgj;k kJ epjKNk Jjpf;f

mupa jkpo; jhdspj;j kapy;tPuh

mjprak; mNeJKw;w goepkiy kPJjpj;j

mofjpU Ntufj;jpd KUNfhNd

[ 5 ]

mgpuhkp me;jhjp

Mj;jhis vq;fs; mgpuhk ty;ypia mz;lnky;yhk;

g+j;jhis khJsk;g+ epwj;jhisg; Gtpalq;ff;

fhj;jhs Iq;fiz ghrhq; FrKk; fUk;Gk; mq;if

Nru;j;jhis Kf;fz;zpiaj; njhOthu;f; nfhUjPq;fpy;iyNa

[ 6 ]

md;Gs;s mk;kh

kUe;J thq;f vd;W mDTld;

ehd; mjpfhiy nry;y

nrhy;yhky; nfhs;shky; vq;F

eP nrd;wha; mk;kh?

tPl;bd; re;J> nghe;J

%iy KLf;F vy;yhk;

vq;Nf me;j md;G cs;sk;

vd;W cid Njb jtpf;fpd;wd

capu; mw;w me;j Ilk; vy;yhk;

,g;gb Vq;fp epw;f

capu; Jbf;Fk; ehk; vy;yhk; gLk;

Jauk; nrhy;y xU n[d;kk; NghjhJ mk;kh!

mg;gb cdf;F vd;d mtruk;?

vg;Ngh eP tUfpwha; ,dp ,e;jg;gf;fk;?

rpth> rptuh[h>

mD> tp\;.

[ 7 ]

capUf;F capu;jUk; ,ufrpak;capUf;F capu;jUk; ,ufrpak;

md;Ng flTs; md;Ng Ayfk;

md;Ng capu;fs; md;Ng aidj;Jk;

md;Ng MtJk; moptJk; Nghyhk;

md;gpd; mjprak; Muwp thNu

-Nahfu; Rthkpfs;.

1934,y; khkp KUNfR jk;gjpapdUf;F xNu kfshfg; gpwe;jhu;. ngw;whu;

itj;j ngau; ePyhk;gpif mk;khs;. fy;tay;> nfhOk;G kw;Wk; fdlh Mfpa

,lq;fspy; tho;e;J kyu;e;j ,tu; 10.08.2014 ,y; fdlhtpy; fhykhdhu;.

jdJ 21tJ tajpy; kl;Ltpy; tlf;fpy; Guhz tpj;jfu; rq;fug;gps;is

mtu;fspd; %j;j kfd; fzgjpg;gps;isiag; ngw;NwhUk;> ngupNahUk;

jPu;khdpj;J jpUkzk; nra;J itj;jdu;.

Ntjk; ,iwtdpd; ,ay;G $Wk;. Mfkk; capupd; ,ay;G ciuf;Fk;.

Guhzk; cyfpay; tpsf;fk; jUtJ. ,itfs; gw;wpa mwpT kdj;jpy;

gjpar; nra;Ak; #oy;> Rw;whly; fzgjpg;gps;is> ePyhk;gpif mk;khs;

,UtUf;FNk ,sk; gpuhaj;jpy; mike;jpUe;jJ.

,j; jk;gjpapdupd; ,isakfd; jpUf;Fkhud; vdJ mf;fh espdp

jpUkzk; nra;j tifapy; vdf;F khkp vDk; cwT mike;jJ. kuG

Kiwapy; khkpapd; fztu; fzgjpg;gps;is vdf;F khkh. mtiu gg;gh

vdj;jhd; gyiug;Nghy ehDk; miog;Ngd;. gg;gh %d;W jiyKiwf;F

Nky; vdf;F nrhe;jf;fhuu;. ,jdhy; khkp vd fpl;l ,Ue;J fijj;Jg;

goFtjw;F Kd;dNu mtiug; gw;wpa fUj;Jg; gpk;gq;fs; vd;Ds;

epiwaNt ,Ue;jd.

khkp vd;whNy vdf;Fs; tifg;gLj;j Kbahj xU Fog;gk; ,Uf;Fk;.

ghrj;ijg; gfpur;nra;Ak; cz;ik czu;r;rp mtu; cs;sj;jpy;

capu;g;ghapUe;jJ. mfyhJ mZfhJ ehfuPfj;Jf;F tzf;fk; nrhy;Yk; trP-

fuKk; ,Ue;jJ. rpwpa fpuhkj;jpy; gpwe;jhYk; aho; ,e;J kfspu; fy;Y}upapy;

cau;fy;tp ngw;wtu;. ,tupd; je;ijahu; rhtfr;Nrup thupag;gu; rptd;Nfhapy;

[ 8 ]

jtpu NtW Nfhapy;fSf;Fg; Nghtjpy;iy. khkpapd; gpwe;j ehSf;F

khj;jpuk; ey;Y}u; KUfDf;F mgpN\fk; nra;tpg;ghuhk;. me;jsTf;F

ituhf;fpak;. ghu;j;j khj;jpuj;jpy; gFj;jwpthsu; Nghy; njupe;jhYk;

khkp kdk; cUfp ,iwtid topgLk; Ntis fz;zPu; Kfk; topNa

tope;NjhLtij fhzyhk;.

jpl;lkplhj xU epfo;thfj;jhd; md;W khkpia ehd; re;jpj;Njd;. khkp

ey;y Ritahfr; rikg;ghu;. kpfTk; Rj;jkhdtu;. gpwtpapypUe;Nj kuf;fwp

czTjhd; Mfhuk;. mtuplk; NghFk; Ntis filapy; czT thq;fpg;

Nghf vdf;F kdr; rq;flkhapUf;Fk;. VNjh xU ce;Jjypy; md;W mg;gk;

thq;fpr; nrd;Nwd;. xU Jz;L khj;jpuk; rhg;gpl;lhu;. kpfTk; gupthfTk;

fdpthfTk; nra;jhu;. ,Jtiuapy; khkp vd;whNy vdf;Fs; ,Ue;j

tifg;gLj;j Kbahj Fog;gk; vy;yhk; jPu;e;jJ Nghy; czu;T Vw;gl;lJ. xU

tiu xUtu; re;jpj;j ,Wjpr; re;jpg;ghfNt mJ mike;jJ.

ehd; mtuplk; Nfl;f epidj;j Nfs;tpfSf;nfy;yhk; tpilahf ‘cyf epajp’

vDk; jiyg;gpy; gg;ghtpd; epidT klypy; Mf;fk; vOjpapUe;jhu;. khkp

nja;tkh? ,y;iy. nja;tj;jd;ikAk;> RghtKk; epiwag;ngw;wtu;. jdJ

%jhijaiu nja;tkhf kjpj;jtu;. jdJ nry;tq;fisj; njspthfTk;>

Jy;ypakhfTk; mwpe;J itj;jpUe;jhu;. mLj;jtu; ghjpg;gpy;yhky; gad;

ngWk; tifapy; jd;tho;it jhd; tho;e;jtu;. gjpYgrhuk; vjpu;ghu;f;fhky;

flikNa fjpaha; filrptiu fUkk; Mw;wpatu;. %jhijaupd;

Kf;fpaj;Jtj;ij Kjpu Kjpuj; jhd; ngw;w mDgtj;jhYk;> jpUj;jp jpUj;jp

Nrfupj;j mwpthy; vy;NyhUk; GupAk; tifapy; vspjhf vOjpdhu;.

Mtzp 10k; ehs; eL ,uT fle;j 2 kzpastpy; khkpf;F rpW cly; mnrs-

fupak; Vw;gl;lJ. ,jid njhlu;e;J clypd; ntg;gk; Fiwe;J> ,uj;j Xl;lk;

Fiwe;J> fhw;W mOj;jk; gbg;gbahff; Fiwe;J ,Jtiuapy; NfshkYk;>

nrhy;yhkYk; - tUtJk;> NghtJkha; ,Ue;j fhw;W ,dp tug;Nghtjpy;iy

vd;gij mwpahj kUkfd; rptuh[hTk;> Ngj;jp tp\hypdpAk; gf;fj;jpypUf;f

cliytpl;L capu; gpupe;jJ.

khkp tukh jtkh vd mjprapf;Fk; tz;zk; jdJ fLk; Kaw;rpahy;

mwpitAk;> jpwidAk; fle;j cr;rj;Jf;F ,d;gr; rpupg;G ,y;yj;jpd;

xspaha; tho;e;jtu;. jdJ flikfisj; jtwhJ nra;J epiwthd NghJ

gjpYgrhuq;fs; ngwhkNy ,we;J Nghdhu;. nka;g;nghUis> nja;tj;ij>

[ 9 ]

rf;jpia my;yJ ,iw Mw;wiy mtu; mDgtpj;j mDgtj;ij mtu; vO-

jpa fl;LiuapNy fhzyhk;:

“kdpjdpd; Kf;fpakhd flikfspy; ek; Kd;NdhUf;Fr; nra;Ak; rpuhu;j;jk;

(gpjpu; fld;) kpf Kf;fpak;. mtu;fspd; Mrpjhd; Fyk; tho top nra;fpwJ.

,jpy; mf;fiw nfhz;L jtwhJ rpuhu;j;jk; nra;J tuNtz;Lk;.

G+i[aiwapy; Rthkpg;glq;fSld; ek;Kd;Ndhu; glq;fisAk; Nru;j;J

khl;lf;$lhJ. Kd;Ndhu;fs; ekf;Fj; nja;tkhf epd;W topfhl;Lgtu;fs;.

mtu;fsJ glq;fisj; nja;tg; glq;fSld; Nru;j;J itg;gjhy;

G+i[aiwapd; ,iw rf;jp Fiwe;J tpLfpd;wnjd;gJ ekJ Kd;Ndhu;

mwpTiu. MfNt ePj;jhu; glq;fis Ntwhf tljpir Nehf;fp khl;LtJ

jhd; rpwe;jJ. mtu;fspd; epidT ehl;fspy; khj;jpuk; topgl;Lg; G+i[

nra;jhw; NghJkhdJ. nja;tq;fl;Fk;> Kd;NdhUf;Fk; jdpj;jdpahfg;

G+i[ nra;a Ntz;Lk;. nja;tq;fl;Fj; jpdKk; G+i[ nra;a Ntz;Lk;.

,d;iwa #o;epiyapy; mjw;Nfw;wgb VNjDk; xU tifapy;

FLk;gj;jpYs;s Ntu;fs;> tpOJfs;> gpQ;Rfs;> G+f;fs; vd ahtw;iwAk;

xd;W $l;b me;j kfpo;r;rpapidj; jtwtplhky; mDgtpf;f Ntz;Lk;.

,J FLk;gj;jpd; midtupdJk; flikahFk;. ,J md;Gk;> ghrKk; ngUf

top tFf;Fk;.”

,iwtdpd; mUs; xsp mtutu; mwpTj;jpwj;jpy; ntspg;gLk; vd;ghu;fs;.

khkpapd; m];jp flypy; fiuf;Fk; me;jf; fzj;jpy; miu mbf;F vOe;j

fly; miy %d;W mb ntspapy; te;J thupr; nrd;wJ. mJtiuapy;

mikjpahapUe;j fly; Mu;g;gupj;J ms;spr;nrd;w m];jp mjPjkha;

flypy; fye;jgpd; epj;jpa etPdkha; mikjpahapw;W. ,JNt ePyhk;gpif

mk;khspd; tho;tpd; mw;Gjj; jd;ik. “jd;kakha;j;jhd; mJtha;j;

jtwplhjpaq;Fk; cd; jd;ikapid vz;z vz;z jtkJ Mde;jNk...”

nrhy;yb rptrf;jp! Rlu;kpF mwpTld; gilj;Jtpl;lha;> cd;id mwpe;jtu;

kwg;gNuh - “capUf;F capu;jUk; ,ufrpaj;ij”!

,.epkyd;.,.epkyd;.

[ 10 ]

c

rptkak;

md;gpd; khkpf;F!

fz;lTld; vOe;njd;idf; fl;bmizj;Jf;

fUiznghop ,Utpopahy; cw;WNehf;fpf;

nfhz;Lepd;wvd;epiyikf; Nfhyq; Nfl;Lf;

nfhQ;rptpl;Lg; ghujpNavd;Wmd;gha;g;

gz;ilehl; gioafijNfl;Lkfpo;e;jha;!

ghrnkhLNgrpepd;wha;! ,dpj;jjk;kh!

mz;lnky;yhk; mUs;tpupf;Fk; me;jptz;zd;

mUl;Nrhjpjdpw;fye;jha; nja;te; jhNd!

- ghujp- ghujp

Dr B S Bharathy Justice of the Peace (Aust.)25/2 Station Street, HomebushNSW 214061-2-9642 2191(The Writer is a Grandson of Navaliyoor Somasundara Pulavar)

[ 11 ]

“kyUk; cs;sk;”

Foe;ijf; ftpQu; mo. ts;spag;ghtpd; rpWtu;

ftpijj; njhFg;gpypUe;J...

,e;jg; Gj;jfj;jpid vdJ rpW gpuhaj;jpy; gs;spf;$l tpLKiwapy; fy;tay;

nrd;w NghJ guprspj;jtu; ehd; mg;gh vd;wioj;j mk;khtpd; Iah mkuu;

MWKfk; KUNfR mtu;fs;.

vdJ mk;kh top Ngudhupd; epidthf Foe;ijf; ftpQu; mo. ts;spag;gh

mtu;fSf;Fk; mtupd; gjpg;gfj;jpw;Fk; ed;wp njuptpj;J “kyUk; cs;sk;”

njhFg;gpy; ,Ue;J ehd; gbj;Jg; Nghw;Wk; ,U ftpijfis gfpu;e;J

nfhs;fpd;Nwd;: - f. jpUf;Fkhud;

In memory of Grandpa: Poems for children by Azha Valliappa (1922 - 1989) ~ from his “Marum Ullam” (Blossoming mind) collection that I fi rst got to read from Appa, my maternal grandfather gifted the book in Kalvayal in the early 1970s

[ 12 ]

Contd. on page 13...

[ 13 ]

[ 14 ]

In Memoriam online:For Pappa

Sangarapillai KanapathypillaiAnd

AmmahNeelampikai Ammal Kanapathypillai

Athttp://pappa29.tumblr.com/

Display on 57th Street, NY, NY 10019

[ 15 ]

Tirukkural: 75

jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;

md;Gw;W mku;e;j tof;nfd;g itafj;J

,d;Gw;whu; va;Jk; rpwg;G.

fiyQu; ciu: fiyQu; ciu:

cyfpy; ,d;Gw;W tho;fpd;wtu;f;F tha;f;Fk; rpwg;G

- mtu; md;Gs;sk; nfhz;ltuhf tpsq;Ftjd; gaNd vd;W $wyhk;.

Translation by Rev Dr G.U. Pope:Sweetness on earth and rarest bliss above,These are the fruits of tranquil life of love.

They say that the felicity which those who, after enjoying the pleasure (of the conjugal state) in this world, obtain in heaven is the result of their domestic state imbued with love.

[ 16 ]

As the eldest of Amma’s grandchildren, I was fortunate enough to have known her for the longest of all my cousins. I called my grandmother “Amma”, as did many others. Amma was a loving woman. It seems simple enough to say it, and see it, but it is not easy to do. Love requires loyalty, selfl essness and devotion. She embodied this, everyday, and because of this, she was, and is, the best person I have ever known.

I’ll share one example - in 2010, when she was 76 years old, she woke up with me, at 4 ‘o clock in the morning to accompany me to the hospital when I went into labour with my daughter. She stayed at my side for 12 hours straight, not leaving until after Avandhi was born, at 4pm the next day. From where did she gain the strength to do this? With Avandhi, Amma was more patient than I, more giving than I. I tried to learn from her, and do as she did. Later, I was continually amazed at the grace she demonstrated when she took care of Pappa, before he passed away last December. I don’t know if I could be as good as her, ever.

When I was with Amma, I felt love in the words she spoke to, her touch and near the end of her life, her tears. She was not one to say, explicitly, “I love you”, but in the past week, she began telling me “I love you” whenever I would visit her, as if she wanted to make sure I knew it.

Amma, you did not need to tell me this. I have known it for my whole life, and I have been blessed because of it. I saw too, how much you loved my child, Avandhi. Everything you gave her, you gave me as well.

I will miss you so much. I wish you were still here. Selfi shly, I want to have the pleasure of calling you, and telling you what I have accomplished, and hear you say how happy and proud I have made you. I won’t have this anymore, and I am bereft.

I did not have enough time to give back to you all that you gave to me. When I was a child, you fed me, held me and washed me. I felt no shame in doing the same for you. I wish so much I was there with you in your last moments.

Harshini Sriskanda:

HOMAGEFrom Grandchildren

[ 17 ]

I would have held your hand and told you how much I love you, and that there was nothing to fear. I am also so sorry, that I did not say goodbye to you, the last time I saw you. You were asleep, Amma, and had had bad dreams for most of the afternoon. You seemed peaceful, fi nally, and I did not want to wake you. I thought, wrongly, I would see you again, tomorrow. I did not say goodbye. In my heart, I hope this means, we are still together. Our visit continues. I did not say goodbye, because you have not, and will not ever leave me.

- Harshi

[ 18 ]

She Wanted to Be There, and I was Glad

On the day Avandhi was born, I overheard Varun asking Amma if she wanted a ride back home from the hospital. The baby wasn’t coming for a few more hours. Why doesn’t she go home and rest and he would bring her back later. Her response was priceless: “When the baby is born, I must be the fi rst person to see her,” she told Varun. That’s when I knew Amma meant business. Up until then, I wasn’t sure why she was more eager to witness the exact moment when our child was born. Everyone in our family had said they would visit us after the baby arrived. Amma wanted to be in the room, unwilling to miss even a minute of it. Even the nurse gave me a confused look once, asking with her eyes, “your wife’s grandmother wants to be here?” Yes, she wanted to be there. And I was glad she was.

And it didn’t end there. Our fi rst night with a new baby was tough. The kind of night that catches new parents by surprise. Harshi and I were on no sleep. Literally, no sleep. Avandhi was up every two hours, and wanted to stay up for two hours each time, regardless of what time it was, and caring even less how much sleep her clueless parents were able to muster. Every time Avandhi would wake up, however, I would only have to wait a minute or so until I heard Amma’s feet on the stairs, in all their slow and labored determination.

But one night I will never forget. It was December 30, 2010, and Avandhi was 2 days old. Harshi and I were exhausted and at some point, two glorious hands had taken Avandhi from us. Harshi and I collapsed into bed and went to sleep. We slept, by my count, for about two or three hours. We woke up to see Amma sitting in the dark corner, in the middle of the night, whispering something to Avan-dhi while rocking her slowly back and forth.

I was immediately overwhelmed with guilt. I jumped out of bed, and took Avandhi from her, asking in shock, “how long have you been sitting here?” She had no clue how long it had been. She said her usual, “it’s ok” before going back down-stairs. I checked the clock, and told Harshi that Amma, this 76-year old woman, had been sitting here for two or three hours rocking Avandhi to sleep. It was the best sleep that either of us would get that week. I still think about this from time and time, and shake my head in disbelief and utter amazement.

Amarnath Amarasingam:

[ 19 ]

Over time, however, I became less amazed and less surprised. This was Amma. It was just who she was. Always putting her family above all else, even her own comfort, her own needs. Our happiness was her happiness. She lived to be proud of her children and her grandchildren - even adopted grandchildren like myself. We will continue to make you proud of us Amma. Yours was a life well-lived and well-loved.

- Amar

[ 20 ]

Amma,

I miss you.

We all miss you. I miss coming to visit you and having you greet me at the door with a big smile on your face. I miss seeing that smile when we would sit around the table enjoying the rice & curry you prepared or when you would come to our house and walk in with urgency; excited to see your great-granddaughter who was just as excited to see you.

I hope in your fi nal moments you understood how much I loved you, how much I appreciated everything you did for me and how much I wanted you to get better so we could see you smile again.

I know…somewhere…you and Pappa are smiling together again.

Rest Peacefully Amma.- Varun

Varun Sriskanda:

[ 21 ]

Amma,It breaks my heart that you are gone. Since Sunday morning, I have been think-

ing of things I want to say to you. I wish I had been by your side the whole time. I wish I could have stood with you, to let you know how much we love you, to tell you your presence in our lives will be infi nite.

You put on a beautiful, strong face for us, but these months without Pappa were diffi cult. Still, in these last few days, I would hear you ask, “how am I going to leave everyone behind and go?” To hear you say this, despite your deep sense of loss since Pappa’s passing, was so moving. I cannot think of anyone who loves as fi ercely as you do; we are lucky to have been loved by you.

One of your good friends called home today and said that your departure, so soon after Pappa’s, was no surprise; this was your generation’s way of showing devotion, this was the sign of soulmates.

Yesterday, we were making a slideshow for you. There are many pictures of you that I want to know more about, that I want to hear you narrate in your clever, thoughtful way. I wish I could spread those photos across your bedroom fl oor and listen to you talk about them.

I miss watching dramas with you. I miss sitting together on the couch in the family room and laughing at those silly jokes, raising our eyebrows at those never-ending plot twists. It’s funny how the simplest moments suddenly become so rich.

I miss taking you places, Amma. We used to go all around that plaza at the end of our street. I wish I could take you to those stores again, just me and you. I really loved that, I don’t think I ever told you.

I miss seeing you in your room, keeping yourself busy in various ways. I once saw you compile and complete a set of math problems for yourself. You and Pappa were the perfect pair in that way – you kept each other sharp and interested in the world around you. That was refreshing to see, and you didn’t lose that after Pappa left. You were bright and sound of mind until the very end, Amma.

We have lived together from before I can remember. For the last twelve years, you have been right across the hall from me. I can barely walk past your room

Anushini Sivarajah:

Contd. on page 22...

[ 22 ]

now; I cannot stand the thought of you not being there. It hurts to step into your room and see all of your things, so neatly arranged. It hurts to know that you will not be wearing those clothes in your closet, or shuffl ing through those papers in your desk. I still cannot fully comprehend that, it’s so overwhelming.

Though we are your grandchildren, my cousins and I call you Amma, as if you were our mother. It refl ects your relationship with us so perfectly – because you have always been much more than a grandmother needs to be. Our successes have been yours, and our struggles have been yours, too. Your approval, your en-couraging smile, and your confi dence in us meant the world. Your concern for us was boundless - I don’t know what we will do without it, now.

I don’t want to ever forget how you look, feel or sound. I hope I see you again, Amma. When I close my eyes, when I fall asleep, when I dream – I want so much to see you, as clearly as possible.

I hope you are happy, strong and whole, wherever you are. I will always love you more than I could hope to explain, and you will always be with us. But you deserve rest and peace now, Amma. Sleep well.

- Anushi

[ 23 ]

Hi, my name is Vishalini and I’m Mrs. Kanapthypillai’s youngest granddaughter. For as long as I can remember, everyone has affectionately called my grandma “Amma” regardless of their relation to her - her kids and their spouses, her grandkids, even friends and other unrelated individuals. It’s a testament to the kind of person Amma was - kind, loving and willing to put everyone else’s well-being above her own. She really was a mother to everyone that had the pleasure of knowing her.

I have never spent a moment of my life without Amma around. She was the fi rst person to hold me in the delivery room after I was born, she was my fi rst and primary baby sitter as a child, and I lived with her for my entire life. It’s hard to conjure a memory that Amma isn’t somehow a part of, because she was always there. She was there to say goodbye to me each morning before I went to school and would wait downstairs to greet me when I got home; she would call me into her room to have a quick chat every time I passed by; she would often come to my room in the middle of the night and turn off my light on the many occasions I fell asleep while studying. She would always come to my rescue, whether I sought her help or not.

When I was nine, I was so upset about forgetting my math textbook at school, and since my parents hadn’t come home from work yet, she insisted on walking with me to school to go get it. It didn’t matter that this was in the middle of an icy, cold winter. It didn’t matter that we lived 20 minutes away from my school. With-out a complaint or any hesitation, Amma dressed in her winter clothes and slowly walked with me to school to get my book – because that’s the kind of caring, selfl ess person she was. I had forgotten this until Amma reminded me of it only days ago. It’s what makes this so hard for all of us - Amma was active and had such a strong mind until the end, and yet she so quietly and suddenly left.

Amma was always so interested to hear about what was going on in my life – my latest accomplishments, what I was studying at school, what my marks were, and what career I wanted to pursue. In the last few weeks, I realized that she really wanted to see “how I turned out”. When I was 14, she told me that she “really wanted to meet my Romeo” - the person that I would marry. Being so young, and not thinking that far ahead, I just smiled, said, “Okay Amma” and left it at that. Back then, I really believed I would be able to share that and so many other milestones with Amma, and I know that she wanted to be there for those moments.

Vishalini Sivarajah:

Contd. on page 24...

[ 24 ]

It’s so hard to let go of you, Amma, because I never thought about having to do so. But I’m so thankful to have had this special relationship with you; to have had you there with me from the very beginning, to have you as the fi rst person to hold me, to have been there by your side until the very end, and to have been that last person to hold you.

Thank you Amma, for every wonderful memory, every kind word, every loving gesture, and for always being there for me.

- Vish

[ 25 ]

My name is Praveen Balakumaran and I wanted to say a few words about my dearest appama. I soon began referring to Appama as Amma taking after all my cousins. Amma was a special person in my life and somebody who always had be-lief in me, even when sometimes I didn’t share the same idea. She would say Iyah “you can do this right, You can do that right?” I would answer yes Amma.

Amma constantly cared about everyone’s well being. When my parents would come pick me up from university in New York. Amma would call them on the 401, at the border, and even passed the fi rst service center and then would fi nally ask if my parents had made it safely to me. Then on the way back a similar 5-call process would occur. Amma’s undeniable selfness towards others was seen throughout many instances in her beautiful life. Amma always wanted a spectator seat to watch with pride the success of all her children and grand children.

Sometimes if I close my eyes I can still hear Amma saying after not seeing me for a while “Iyah have you lost weight?” Amma was kind, generous, loving and just loved to spend time with her family. She would make the whole family save specifi c dates from our busy schedules for dinners where we would talk, laugh and have a good time with each other. Amma helped bring our whole family together and enjoyed every minute of it.

No words can describe the feeling you get when you hear that someone you love has fallen very ill. That feeling is multiplied many times over when the people who surround you feel that similar indescribable feeling. Amma I was glad I was able to come see you almost everyday when you had fallen ill, you may have not been talking all the time but I know you would have been laughing at my jokes even if they weren’t funny.

We will miss you dearly Appama, but I know that you will be watching us, guid-ing us, with all our endeavors and keeping us not only safe but together as family.

- Praveen

Praveen Balakumaran:

[ 26 ]

My name is Harrish Thirukumaran and I am one of Ammah’s grandsons.Despite being raised in the United States, South Brunswick, New Jersey to be

specifi c, for the better part of my life, I believe I have been fully exposed to Am-mah’s extraordinary character.

My frequent visits to Toronto during the holidays or special occasions, alongside my immediate family were always enriching from Ammah’s loving presence. It was also great to see her reciprocate her genuine enthusiasm every time we were able to come.

During these numerous times together, as with my grandfather, Pappa, she would inquire me on my daily life in New Jersey. My NJ recollections would un-doubtedly place her in fascination, as she learned of my previous tennis playing to my education in both middle school and high school.

From the photos of Ammah and me in my younger years, I could tell she easily embodied a vibrantly strong affection for me. I certainly felt her nurturing ways, which were also extended to my brother, Danesh when he was around during those stays in Toronto.

I remember Ammah being an extremely observant person, as amusingly exem-plifi ed when she would detail how I physically changed since we last met. Although I exhibited obvious homelike thoughts within the distant South Brunswick, Ammah could effortlessly make me feel at home on a grand interpersonal level.

In my view, I like to think Ammah was spiritually enlightened upon seeing both me and my brother engaging with her other grandchildren, sharing laughs and enjoying each other’s company altogether under one roof.

Currently, I have actually been attending Brock University in St Catharines, Ontario. This signifi cant transition was pleasing to me, not only for my long-term career aspirations or Canadian roots, but also for the opportunity to bring me closer to Ammah and the rest of my family in Toronto.

When I was occupied with my university studies, Ammah would often make these small phone calls just to check on my well being, showcasing her hope for my ongoing academic path. Hearing her caring, soft voice, among many other fac-tors, motivated me to ensure my success in my fi rst two years of university.

Harrish Thirukumaran:

[ 27 ]

I know that she is immensely proud of these and past achievements. Further-more, her profound infl uence will consistently be at my side, as I fi nish this under-graduate program and continue my career pursuits.

Thank you for many wonderful years. You will be truly missed, Ammah. - Harrish

[ 28 ]

Hello all, my name is Danesh and I am the youngest grandchild to Amma, and often referred to as the American, and I am here to present my letter to Amma.

To my dear Grandmother, Amma,From my 15 years of knowing you, and about 10 years of actually somewhat

comprehending what you were saying, I understood what a great role model you were to the many people you associated yourself with. Your dearest wisdom and kindness towards your friends and family really infl uenced people like me to be more like you. Your affection was shown especially towards Pappa during his last, cherished moments with us. Whenever there was a family get together or an event held somewhere Pappa could not attend, you’d be the one sitting right by his side, attending to every need he could possibly ask.

And your wisdom was even shown in the most miniscule ways, at least per-taining to one of my experiences. I remember clearly, when I was around 5 and had to take a visit to the restroom. In my case, a messy visit. My visit consisted of a soiled toilet seat and hands that had not been washed. Shortly after my chaotic visit, you walked in the restroom and returned in a matter of seconds to demand who made the mess. Of course, I eventually came out and said it was me, and you gave me some wise words most don’t see as wisdom, but of course, I do. You said “Danesh, for you to keep the toilet seat clean for yourself and everyone else you must go inside the toilet, not everywhere else.” This amount of wisdom at the time was and still is very infl uential even to this day. Although it seems small, I know many people who will face and have faced the catastrophe of a soiled toilet seat in a public restroom and would wish those messy individuals would have met Amma.

Not only were you kind and wise, you also were a very caring person who often put a person’s needs ahead of yours. For example, you would ensure that Pappa ate properly before you even got a taste of your food. Not only that, I remember every time we would come from New Jersey to Markham, you would also make sure I’ve eaten to the fullest extent. You would make sure almost every grain of rice would be in my stomach by the time I fi nished eating.

Although you may not be in our lives right now, you lived a very fulfi lling life. You managed to raise four successful kids, seven grand kids, and one granddaugh-ter. Many people don’t have this opportunity and we should congratulate how much Amma has done for this family.

Danesh Thirukumaran:

[ 29 ]

Lastly, one of Pappa’s and your wishes involving me was to see me graduate high school, being the youngest grandchild, and although you both are not here tangibly, somewhere, somehow, knowing Pappa and you, will see me graduate when the day comes. Thank you for all you have done Amma.

Love, Danesh

(Full Text of Eulogies read by Grandchildren on August 12, 2014 during visitation hours at Highland Funeral Home)

[ 30 ]

A personal tribute to late Mr. & Mrs. Kanapathypillai

It is with great sense of sadness that I write this tribute to the lives of a very special couple, Mr. & Mrs Kanapathypilllai, whom I fondly called Pappa and Ammah, and who were both taken away from us in a very short span of eight months. I would like to express my thanks and gratitude to Bala and Thiru for giving me the opportunity and privilege to pay tribute to the special couple. Pappa & Ammah are my sister Shiranee’s Parents in-law. I have known Pappa & Ammah since 1990 when they moved to Canada to be with Shiranee & Bala, and since then, I have had the good fortune of getting to know them and to be part of the extended family.

Pappa & Ammah personify simplicity and calmness. They were both persons of peace and goodwill. They were simple and unostentatious in their habits and wants. This to me is the most striking aspect of their personalities.

They were both religious by nature. They expressed deep reliance in God.Pappa was a very honest and an unassuming man. I have never seen him

get angry. Pappa had a temper that could hardly be ruffl ed by the most adverse circumstances. I am sure he looked up to God for his divine wisdom and guidance and worked his destiny in the best way he could. He lived his life ethically.

Pappa won the respect of everyone he came in contact with through his great-ness and won their love with his goodness. He was a very helpful person who always went out of his way to help people who sought his assistance.

I must confess I took a special liking for Pappa because he resembled my dad, late Sebastiampillai Anthonypillai, in many ways. Pappa knew my dad before he came to Canada. My dad died in Sri Lanka two days before he was due to arrive in Toronto, to attend the wedding of Shiranee and Bala.

From Friends & Relatives

By Preethi Anthonypillai:

[ 31 ]

My father- in -law, Mr. Ponnampalam S. Thiagarajah also knew Pappa, and had a great deal of respect for him. My father-in- law frequently spoke about Pappa as he admired Pappa’s simplicity of mind and manner. They often spoke to each other on the phone.

I had many long conversations with Pappa on many topics and issues. Our conversations included his career in Sri- Lanka. From those conversations I inferred that although Pappa was a civil servant who was held in high esteem and had held executive positions, he was compassionate towards his subordinates. I am sure he would never have encroached on the prerogative of his subordinates regardless of their positions. Pride was unknown to his character. He had an innate sense of propriety. Pappa was a humble man.

Pappa was a patient person capable of bearing long delays and waiting for the right moment.

In a nutshell, Pappa lived an exemplary life that many would strive to emulate. He had a forgiving spirit. During our numerous conversations, Pappa, frequently, in his own style, uttered “nobody is perfect you know you have to forgive them”. He always looked for the goodness in people. It never appeared to me that he car-ried any grudges or personal resentments. I guess he developed the ability to rise above personal resentment to forgive and forget. He was also a very independent person. Even though, he came to Canada, very late in his life, he went to H & R block to learn to do Canadian taxes, not only to keep him occupied, but also so as not to be a burden on his children.

Ammah was a terrifi c mother and a wife and lived by example. I have been a recipient of her kindness, hospitality and her generosity with her time on many occasions; one occasion that comes to mind is when I was living alone, during my bachelor days when Ammah nursed me to health when I got chicken- pox. I would go to Shiranee’s house for my meals and Ammah would cook for all of us and take care of us. Ammah prepared vegetarian dishes with deliciousness and taste that I enjoyed very much. I still remember her words at the time: she said “neegalum Inga vanthu irungo appa vadiva parkalam” (in Tamil, it meant that I should stay at Shiranee’s so that she could look after me better). For the care she gave me I owe Ammah my profound gratitude. Whatever she did, she did it with spontaneity, heart and a motherly love that I deeply appreciated.

Ammah had a great sense of humour. It was fun to be around her. She would laugh heartily at jokes and never hesitated to joke back. She was pleasant and al-

[ 32 ]

ways wore a beautiful smile. I always felt that Ammah had a good sense of balance between the two cultures-western thinking and at the same time she retained, preserved and observed the salient aspects of our culture - our proud and price-less heritage. She looked after Pappa selfl essly until his death, perhaps, at the cost of her own health.

Pappa’s passing was very hard on her. They had been together for so long and had been devoted to each other. As a couple they exemplifi ed true love and loyalty to one another. The last time I spoke to Ammah was when I invited her to my wife Saro’s milestone birthday party on a boat.

At the time she informed me that she would not be able to attend because she found it diffi cult to climb stairs; she told me that if she did not have this dif-fi culty she would have been the fi rst person to attend. I thought she was slowly recovering from Pappa’s death. It was a shock to all of us that she was taken away so quickly.

To Bala, Rathy, Siva, Thiru and their families, Saro & I send our heart- felt con-dolences for your irreparable loss. We are sure that the lives of Pappa and Ammah and their words would have instilled in you a sense of pride that will stay with you for the rest of your life. The legacy they have both left behind will stay in your hearts and minds forever.

The great bard William Shakespeare wrote almost 400 years ago; “Come what come may, Time and the hour runs through the roughest day” while a 19th century writer, Nathaniel Hawthorne, profoundly observed that “Time fl ies over us, but leaves its shadow behind”. The immense grief and pain that you will have to endure will no doubt forever leave behind its marks, however, with time, these wounds will heal and the scars will be a comforting reminder of where you have been and what you went through.

[ 33 ]

Eulogy for Aunty

We have gathered here today to say fi nal goodbye to a beloved mother, sweet mother-in-law, a kind grandma, a good friend, a mentor and a above all we are here to celebrate the life of an extra ordinary human being. I stand before thee on behalf of my friends sashi & family, Indra & family, Grace Aunty family and her friends Rajesh aunty and my mom. We are all very fortunate to have had aunty in our lives through her eldest daughter Bahie. Soon she became a mother to all of us.

Briefl y, we would like to share with you our life experiences with aunty, our memories that will last for ever, our friendship which we will take it to our graves. She touched us all with her gentle smile, soft words, kind eyes and with her healing touch. She reminded us all of a very traditional woman at fi rst sight. When we got to know her deeply we were pleasantly surprised by the other side of aunty, well hidden by gracefulness. WE were amazed by her depth of knowledge on various matters. from the famous medical schools to the current world affairs, wealth of her wisdom, her strong opinions based her character and values, the strong family bond she created ad sustained. She marveled at the combination of strength and gentleness.

If you knew aunty and uncle, you will understand why she left us all this soon. We all knew the nature of their love which they shared through marriage, she was his strength in this world and he couldn’t survive a year without her in his next life. Aunty kept talking about uncle every moment ever since his departure, now that their journey is continued.

Aunty had a special way of relating to everyone who came in tough with her. She reminded all our birth days and anniversaries. Her genuine love is rare to fi nd these days. When she looked at us with her little sparkling eyes, we saw and felt the genuine love, so powerful, so alive that calmed us all. She had a great sense of humor. We loved her jokes. We have to always think before we laugh to her jokes.

By Sumi Praba

Contd. on page 34...

[ 34 ]

We loved her funny remarks that she’d share very spontaneously, makes you think again of what she has to say. She had a great sense of style, a unique fl are for fashion. We admired how she’d coordinate her sarees and jewellery. She was a very classy woman that we all admired.

Even at this age, we were able to talk to her about latest trends in sarees and jewllery. She would give us fashion tips from the serials & dramas she watches. We would attend her house parties in sarees and costume jewllery and aunty will quietly come to us. and without a smile she would tease us ‘how much grams of gold is this one’, and then she enjoys seeing us cracking up.

She always commented on how we looked and what we wore. She made us all feel important and appreciated. We thank you aunty immensely for your love and friendship you generously shared with us. We all appreciated one of her great-est qualities. She always demonstrated how to love and respect others for who they are. We learned a valuable lesson from her, how to keep a family together, her patience , perseverance, humbleness, forgiving nature, and unconditional love, which laid the foundation for a united, strong and loving family that you see today.

Finally I want to share my last memorable moments with aunty in this world. My brother passed away recently and aunty decided to visit my family, ignoring her children reminding her of her poor health condition. It was just three weeks ago that her fragile and feeble body walked through the doors of my home, along with her children to share her sympathy with us, she hugged and kissed me several times, reminded me how temporary the life is and that we need to move on and that I shouldn’t cry any more. She shared the lunch with us although she wasn’t feeling hungry or able to eat well. She was hardly able to walk. Little did we know that it was our last meal with aunty that it was the last time we will hug her or touch her. The next day we heard that she fell very ill and that her journey in this life with us will end soon.

Aunty we miss you terribly and we want you to know that we love you so very much. Thank you

(Text was read by Sumi Praba on August 12, 2014 during visitation hours at High-land Funeral Home)

[ 35 ]

Fondly remembered

Aunty, you never said “I’m leaving”

You never said “goodbye”

You were gone before I knew it,

And only God knew why.

There are no words to tell you

Just what I feel inside

The shock, the hurt, the anger

I cannot describe in words…

They might gradually subside

Every time as I close my eyes and think of you

Your sense of humor, presence of mind and genuine smile

Immensely fi ll my conscious.

You never missed to wish every member of my family on their birthdays,

anniversaries and other special days.

You never failed

To appreciate beauty;

To fi nd the best in others

And profoundly you taught that to your dear children too.

I am glad that you were a part in my life

And I assure you’ll be

Fondly remembered always!

May God keep you in His peace

By Sashi Jeganathan:

[ 36 ]

Sacrifi ce in Silence; A Tribute for my parents and their Generation

Ammah: Since god cannot be everywhere,Everyone here has this most selfl ess person in her or his own lives.Her passing is irreplaceable and all the more diffi cult to bear when she had not

thought of seeing this day so soon a mere few weeks ago.She borne the 4 of us for 10 months times 4, for 40 months, but didn’t even

spare 4 weeks for us to care for her during this illness.Ammah’s time on earth would still be a fairy tale, although the destiny of end-

ing the journey here with this illness is amongst the toughest.Ammah is confi dent about the journey’s end, and she inculcates the teachings

of Gita in this regard.

FaithWhile being ill, it gave her time to say good bye and even tell my sisters a few

days ago what color to wear today (for cremation), and her faith emerged only stronger, as she wished for a quick close while being alert and dignifi ed. That has been realized and she is one sweetly graced.

Ammah’s colour choice for this fi nal day is perhaps due to her father, Arumu-gam Murugesu – whom she called Aiyah. Our grandfather instilled the Lord of Be-nevolence, Murugan as her cherished deity, who is dressed in green on the thear (chariot) festival day at Nallur Kanthaswmay Temple in Jaffna. Though our grandfa-ther, whom we called Appa, was a Lord Siva devotee and rarely went to any other temples, he made an exception in arranging for an Abhishekam ritual at the Nallur Kanthaswamy Temple annually on Sithirai – Parani, the birth star of Ammah.

So when I say of my Ammah is like this and all, everyone can relate to their own moms as well. Our heritage and adages tell that since god cannot be ev-erywhere, therefore Ammah is created. It’s also a tradition that places the entire womanhood in the realm of motherhood.

PristineAmmah’s life has been a journey of joy. To benefi t my sons, nieces, nephews

and for those blossoms of future, friends and all others, I want to recall Ammah’s

K. Thirukumaran:

[ 37 ]

pristine beginnings.She is the only child of my grandparents in Kalvayal, Chavakachcheri in North-

ern Sri Lanka.The village Ammah grew up in is situated in the Southern part of the Jaffna

peninsula, and can be said as being more remote and less in terms of famous schools than its northernmost counterpart, Vadamaradchi and Valikamam regions. There was no electricity in the village, even during the early years I visited.

Yet, the region known as Thenmaradchi is very prosperous due to the abun-dance of paddy fi elds that yield bountiful harvests even at times of seasonal rain faltering. The sowing paddy (vithai nellu) from there was sought after all across Sri Lanka those days in anticipation of a bumper crop everywhere. Ammah, Pappa and both their families are lifelong vegetarians, like many others in Thenmaradchi. Scholars say this is possibly due to infl uence of Jainism and related migration to the region.

Ammah’s home in Kalvayal, hallmarking Jaffna peninsula homes – is situated in a grove of mango, jak fruit trees, lemon, pomegranate, coconut, palmyrah, margosa trees amongst others and a water well surrounded by areca nut trees.

The town centre is fi lled with rice mills, goldsmiths and a grand farmers market (Santhai) that met only on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. In the days preced-ing and after the Tamil Thanksgiving Day, Thai Pongal, Pongal Santhai would grandi-osely burst in prosperous sentiments.

The temples held regular festivals with fanfare. My grandfather was retired after being a teacher in nearby Meesalai, when I was old enough to know him. I re-member his evenings and nights of listening to All India Radio, Carnatic, light music programs or religious topics, and his deliberations about them with his friends on the verandah.

My Ammammah Visaladchy, my fi rst perception of how kind and generous a person can be was with my grandmother, also retired after teaching in a school nearby.

Ammah, though an only child, has numerous cousins. Many of them we knew also lived in nearby Sangaththanai, popularly known for being the location of Cha-vakachcheri Hindu College. From Kalvayal, Ammah’s Aiyah sent her to this school and later to Jaffna – to Hindu Ladies College in Vannarpannai.

BoundlessWhen Ammah got married at the age of 21 to Pappa, she moved to Colombo.Ammah’s mission, like only a mother can do, is to spread her selfl ess love to

the family. Our Ammah is extremely caring, and in the meantime, open minded about our good-natured pursuits.

Ammah loves all arts, especially Tamil music, literature and dance. Ammah is an

[ 38 ]

avid reader and follower of prolifi c writers such as Rajaji, Bharathiyaar, Kalki Krish-namoorthy, Ki. Va. Jagannathan, Akilan and Kannadasan. She likes the music in the trinity of M.S. Subbulakshmi, D.K. Pattammal and M.L. Vasanthakumari.

One of her favorite singers is the rustic voiced rarity named A.L. Raghavan.Nowadays, when I translate Tamil poems and works, I would often call Ammah

for help. If something needs further research, she would tell me “paatthu sollu-ran” (I have to look it up), and get back to me with more than I needed to know, resembling her boundless affection.

During my school years at D. S. Senanayake College, I remember Ammah wak-ing up very early in the mornings, and through the night she would make at least 4 meals for us.

Around mid-morning, almost during the entire week, she would go to the Bambalapitty Pillaiyar Temple and/or shopping at Wellawatte market for fresh produce. Ammah’s meals are loved by all. When she shared them with her dear friends and neighbors like Mrs. Edith Pereira whom we called Nana, she would bring to us her own goody such as homemade strawberry and wood apple jam. Nana would hold both of Ammah’s hands while exchanging pleasantries. Ammah will now have such good company in her place of peace.

Ammah would always make me snacks to take to school even at the point where I insisted it was not so cool to bring food from home. She would take me to this tailoring shop that was the hardest ever to get to because she knew I favored the way they stitched the trendiest garments. This was also the case when there was an M.G. Ramachandran (MGR) starring matinée, and when no one else in the household would want to see the movie.

SeparationAnd when the time came that I had to separate from her to come to the USA,

I remember to this day, Ammah’s eagerness for my betterment on that eve of parting for a long time to come. That was exactly 30 years ago in August 1984.

There was no way to send an SMS or pay phone near the US Embassy in Col-petty that I could use to inform her of the news about securing the US student visa. Upon returning home, however, I remember Ammah sitting with her hands clasped near the wide opened front door and looking towards the gate, awaiting my arrival. She got up as soon as she saw me with her wet eyes once I told her the news. This would mark the real beginning of my departure from Ammah up until today.

This separation is symbolic of their generation. Although, I understand several of us are accustomed to our relatives, friends and others undergoing even more severe and darker forms of detachment from our homes and parents missing their children.

[ 39 ]

Sacrifi cePappa on December 13, 2013 and Ammah during the early hours of August

10 left us. They departed from this world from the very same bed in the very same room at home in Markham, Ontario. I still don’t exert the feeling that it’s permanent. Is it that having been not living near them for many years giving me this false comfort, I think so.

They belong to a generation of parents who have made huge sacrifi ces, espe-cially a sacrifi cial separation from their loved ones for the enhancement of their children’s future. The generation I refer to are those noble souls, born anytime a decade after the turn of the last century through the 1940s.

In going back to say 100 to 700 years, which of our previous generations would have made a similar sacrifi ce? There could have been many, as human his-tory is a history of migration and separation. Although migration from the Indian sub-continent has been prevalent during the last 200 years, my parents’ generation endured a sacrifi cial journey in the later part of their lives.

For those of us who are from the isle of serendipity, our parents’ generation migrating in vast numbers, than the previous two, is truly phenomenal.

Without whom they are and what they were ready to put up with such as limited mobility – in starting a new life with their loved ones or being at distance at home or another diaspora country, their sacrifi ces are immense.

LightTheir sacrifi ce is in silence to re-establish in a new land or circumstances in

their golden years. Nevertheless, they resourcefully adapted to the new environ-ment.

I can’t forget your sense of “duty” and how caring and kind you are Pappa and Ammah, and I am only hoping I can be like you two and do justice for all the time I am not able to be near you.

Now slowly but surely, we carry the fl ame. It is in the light of your blessings, Ammah and Pappa that the wellbeing of us all is assured.

(Text was read by Thiru on August 12, 2014 during the visitation hours at Highland Funeral Home)

[ 40 ]

“Duty is the secret that gives life to the soul”

(Translation of Excerpt) Ammah wrote this in Tamil early this year, in the booklet we published in remembrance of Pappa – K. Thirukumaran

In the body awash with pity and affection, therein lies tear drops, amidst the eyes. Tears are not a form of water. It is a miraculous compound. It is the birth-place of light. It tightly bonds affection and relationships. We can express our joyous sentiments surrounded by many. But must weep alone. The more the tears, the more are its benefi ts. This is why those who weep are fortunate and the triumph of the tear attains divine status.

An important duty of humanity is paying the ritualistic tributes. It is the ances-tors’ blessings that live long past through and towards well-being of future genera-tions.

While it is important to worship our ancestors, it is the divine faith that needs to be adhered to on a daily basis. The elders guide us with divine power. They must be remembered with ritualistic duties annually. In accordance with today’s circum-stances from the roots, to branches and fruits of all ages and blooms must join together as a family to rejoice in their memory. This will enable to foster boundless love and affection.

When the duties are accomplished, the mind feels an emptiness, like a shrine without the presence of divinity in the Altar. This is the destiny life reaches when duties are fulfi lled. Duty is the secret that gives life to the soul.

As said in Gita, Whatever happened, happened for the good; whatever is hap-pening, is happening for the good; whatever will happen, will also happen for the good only.

As said in Gita, Do your duty to the best of your ability, with your mind at-tached, abandoning worry and selfi sh attachment to the results, and remaining calm in both success and failure.

[ 41 ]

No regret whatsoever No Worries Krishna By K. Thirukumaran

There are many translations of the Tamil devotional song “Kurai Ondrumil-lai” penned by Chakravarti Rajagopalachari (10 December 1878 – 25 December 1972), the last Governor-General of India. A notable in-depth analytical translation is on the Wikipedia by Gopalkrishna Gandhi. I attempt here a lucid translation of the lyrics.

It is notable that one Tamil word “Kurai” applies to many nuances throughout the song, but no single English word seems to be the right fi t.

The song is solitary evidence as to why Rev. Father Xavier S. Thaninayagam, referred to Tamil as the language of Bhakthi, “The devotion to the sacred and the holy.”

Though not enticing divine compassion in any form or shape, one is only satis-fi ed at the bliss rendered. This is the essence of this magnifi cent Tamil devotional song. The writer Chakravarti Rajagopalachari, known as Rajaji is revered by Ammah and the rendition of this song by M. S. Subbulakshmi is among her favorites:

No regret whatsoeverKrishna, the lord of scripturesNo regret whatsoever, KrishnaNo regret whatsoever, Govinda (No regret)

There being invisibly so KrishnaThough being invisible, Krishna – for meThat didn’t bring about any obstacle KrishnaThe lord of scriptures – Krishna

When there is Venkatesan to render what is neededThere is none else that is neededThe lord of scriptures – KrishnaThe Lord with awesome hue, Lord of the hills, Goivinda, Govinda

Krishna herein behind the screen you standKrishna herein behind the screen you stand – BeingVisible to those learned chanters onlyKrishna herein behind the screen you stand – BeingVisible to those learned chanters only

Contd. on page 42...

[ 42 ]

Yet there isn’t anything I need to worry aboutYet there isn’t anything I need to worry about

Renderer, standing as granite sculpture in the hillsRenderer, standing as granite sculpture in the hillsThere is no shortcoming, Krishna the lord of scripturesThere is no shortcoming, Krishna the lord of scripturesThe Lord with awesome hue, Lord of the hills, Goivinda, Govinda

To benevolent in day of misery you descended in granite sculpture – andTook permanent residence in the temple KesavaTo benevolent in day of misery, you descended in granite sculpture – andTook permanent residence in the temple Kesava – SoThere is no grievance whatsoever Krishna, the lord of scriptures

Lord of the hills, The one who would not turn-down anythingLord of the hills, The one who would not turn-down anythingOn your chest is gracious sea-like motherTo grant anything therein eternally – then what can be worrisome for me?To grant anything therein eternally – then what can be worrisome for me?

Nothing I felt short Krishna, the lord of scripturesNothing I felt short Krishna, the lord of scripturesThe Lord with awesome hue, Lord of the hills, Goivinda, Govinda, Goivinda, Govinda, GovindaGoivinda, Govinda, Govinda, Govinda

SV Temple, Pittsburgh, PA, USASV Temple, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

[ 43 ]

Tirukkural: 1124

jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;

tho;jy; capu;f;fd;ds; Mapio rhjy;

mjw;fd;ds; ePq;Fk; ,lj;J.

fiyQu; ciu: fiyQu; ciu:

Ma;e;J Nju;e;j mupa gz;GfisNa mzpfydha;g; G+z;l

Mapio vd;NdhL $Lk;NghJ> capu; clNyhL $LtJ NghyTk;>

mts; vd;idtpl;L ePq;Fk;NghJ vd;Dapu; ePq;FtJ NghyTk;

czUfpNwd;.

Translation by Rev Dr G.U. Pope:Life is she to my very soul when she draws nigh; Dissevered from the maid with jewels rare, I die!.My fair-jewelled one resembles the living soul (when she is in union with me), the dying soul when she leaves me.

Special day for Ammah – in Kalvayal

[ 44 ]

Tirukkural: 50

jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;jpUts;Stu; mUspa jpUf;Fws;

itaj;Js; tho;thq;F tho;gtd; thd;ciwAk;

nja;tj;Js; itf;fg; gLk;

K. tujuhrdhu; ciu:K. tujuhrdhu; ciu:

cyfj;jpy; thoNtz;ba mwnewpapy; epd;W tho;fpwtd;>

thDyfj;jpy; cs;s nja;t Kiwapy; itj;J kjpf;fg;gLthd;.

Translation by Rev Dr G.U. Pope:

Who shares domestic life, by household virtues graced,Shall, mid the Gods, in heaven who dwell, be placedHe who on earth has lived in the conjugal state as he should live, will be placed among the Gods who dwell in heaven.

Pappa and Ammah

“Th

eWor

ld”

– by

Ava

ndhi

Ama

rasin

gam

GOD of Love, beauty and knowledge ~ Murugan

THANK YOU

The word Muruga is derived from the Tamil word ‘Murugu’ which means honey, beauty, fragrance and eternal youth. He is handsome, brilliant, elegant and enchanting. He symbolises valour, youthfulness, benevolence and compassion.

We thank all of you for the heartfelt sympathies and messages of condolences on the

passing of our beloved Mother. Your time in thinking about us during our great loss goes

far in bringing solace. We thank and appreciate all the helping hands for assisting and

providing comfort to us in numerous ways since the time of her passing.

Children: Balakumaran, Baheerathy, Sivasakthy and Thirukumaran

Daughters & Sons-in-law: Shiranee, Kumar S. Sriskanda, K. Sivarajah and Nalene

Grandchildren: Harshini, Varun, Anushini, Vishalini, Praveen, Harrish, Danesh and Amarnath

Great-Granddaughter : Avandhi.

– 579 Highglen Avenue, Markham ON L3S 4N4 - (905) 472-0843

The annual grand Ther (Chariot) festival at Nallur Kanthaswmay (Murugan) Temple, August 24, 2014 (pic courtesy of: facebook.com/nallur)

fy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrupfy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrup

ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; fzgjpg;gps;ismtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j mtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j

epidT kyu;

fy;tay;> rhtfr;Nrup

ePyhk;gpif mk;khs; fzgjpg;gps;ismtu;fspd; Qhgfhu;j;j

epidT kyu;

Sculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USASculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USASculpture at SV Temple, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA

Front Cover: Gita Mural at Sri Venkateswara Temple, Bridgewater, New Jersey. USA: “Thy right is to work only, but never with its fruits; let not the fruits of actions be thy motive,

nor let thy attachment be to inaction”

In memory ofIn memory ofNeelampikai Ammal Kanapathypillai

(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)

Markham, OntarioMarkham, Ontario

In memory ofNeelampikai Ammal Kanapathypillai

(April 15, 1934 - August 10, 2014)

Markham, Ontario